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“Why hello precious baby! How are you today?”
The giant ball of snowy fluff gave another chirp as she wove between your legs. You’d seen her in passing over the last week after your new, mysterious neighbors moved in. Given your apparently clashing schedules, you hadn’t seen said neighbors yet, but on occasion, you heard their car or their muffled voices during a spell of light sleep. They were brothers. That was about all you knew. Well, that and they had at least four felines, three of which were content to birdwatch through a window, while this one had a habit of giving her owners the slip to sunbathe on the lawn by the “Beware of Guard Cat” sign.
Doomfanger, as her tag decreed her name to be, meowed long and pleading. Unable to resist, you knelt there on the sidewalk and pet her glorious floof. Her fur was plush and well-maintained, obviously pampered like a princess. Her missing eye and cropped ear suggested that once upon a time she was probably a street cat, which was why the brothers likely had a hard time keeping Miss Doom indoors. Fortunately, she never seemed to stray far, always making her rounds around the yard rather than roaming the street.
When she flopped on her back and rolled, you buried your hands in her belly fluff as her purr motor went into overdrive. She was just the sweetest baby. A minute later she was back on her feet and pawing her way up your chest. “Awe, does little Miss Doomy wanna be held? C’mere sweetie. Up!” You pulled her into a cuddle and she continued to purr away, her head smashed against your cheek, her paws making the best little biscuits on your shoulder. “I could just cuddle you all day but I can’t. I gotta go home and eat my din-din and sleep. Yes. Yes I do.” You continued to babytalk and snuggle Doomfanger, enjoying her warmth on this cool evening. So involved in cuddles, you didn’t notice the your neighbors’ shiny sports car pull into the driveway and its owner step out.
“Who is a precious fluffy sweetie baby? You are! Yes you are!” Doomfanger chirped in response as you proceeded to rock her back-and-forth making kissy noises.
Suddenly, a shadow fell upon you.
“WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU ACCOSTING DOOMFANGER?!”
You whirled at the belligerent voice, the cat held tight, and blinked up owlishly at the speaker towering over your person. Oh. Hell. Looming like the embodiment of war was a skeleton taller than any man you’d ever met, with a scarred skull and burning red eyelights. He was clad in leather and spikes like a punk goth biker, with a ragged red scarf trailing behind him like a streak of bloodshed. He unironically wore a gold skull belt buckle and a crop top beneath his jacket that read BAD DUDE. You couldn’t quite tell whether to be terrified he’d shank you here on the lawn, or to assume he was secretly a goofball due to his rather eccentric manner of dress. When a crimson, gloved hand jabbed a clawed finger accusingly at you, you shrank back, Doomy clutched close.
Despite the noise, she continued to purr. Like she was used to it.
“Uh...hi… I’m your...neighbor?” you coughed when he arched an incredulous brow. “We haven’t met, but Doomy, ah, Doomfanger and me have...obviously. She is a very sweet cat!”
The skeleton crossed his arms and huffed, as if pouting, “SHE IS NOT SWEET. SHE IS A FEARSOME WARRIOR THAT DEFENDS HER TERRITORY FROM OUR FOES.” Doomfanger cheeped again and he glowered. “How could she betray me like this?”
Oh! He was jealous. A small smile crept on your lips. No matter how big and scary he was, somebody who loved animals so much was...attractive. It took a big, compassionate heart. You pulled Doomfanger from your shoulder and held her out. She hung there contentedly, making biscuits in the air. The skeleton was quick to pluck her into his arms, where she promptly snuggled her way onto his shoulder where she wrapped herself around his neck like a second scarf. He laid a hand on her hip, as if to make sure she didn’t fall as she got herself settled, before looking at you again, a faint hint of red coloring his skull.
Your smile cracked into a grin, “Awe, she loves her daddy! See, she loves you still. I just happened to be a convenient source of snuggles while she waited for you to come home.”
His skull went scarlet and he crossed his arm again, evidently flustered by the praise, “I...I SEE. I MUST EXPRESS HOW UNUSUAL IT IS FOR DOOMFANGER TO TRUST ANYONE, MUCH LESS A HUMAN. SHE IS VERY...GUARDED. YOU MUST BE A...SPECIAL KIND OF PERSON.”
It was your turn to flush and look away, “Just an animal lover. Been around them my whole life. My folks called me the cat whisperer as a kid since I could pick up or pet practically any cat I met without getting bit or clawed.”
He cleared his throat, “GIVEN THAT DOOMFANGER HAS TAKEN A RARE LIKING TO YOU, HUMAN, I SUPPOSE WE MIGHT VERY WELL HAVE MORE ENCOUNTERS LIKE THIS. THUS IT IS PRUDENT WE KNOW EACH OTHER’S NAMES. I AM THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS! IF YOU SEE ANOTHER, SHORTER, LESS COOL SKELETON, THAT IS MY BROTHER, SANS.”
“Well it is very nice to meet you Papyrus,” you said, before offering your own name in exchange. “Oh! If I may ask, who are the other fluffy babies I sometimes see in your windows?”
You didn’t expect to talk with him and look through his Undergram photos until the sun began to set or to be invited in for dinner. But when you were besieged by a swarm of cuddly cats, you couldn’t say you regretted it at all. Especially when you caught Papyrus watching you from the kitchen, dinner in hand, a strange breed of awe on his face.
You winked.
He sputtered.
And Doomfanger gave a little chirp from her perch at the highest level of the cat tower.