Chapter Text
It was in the middle of the night and the ferry transferring Bolin, Varrick, and the Earth Empire camp refugees was about a half a day away from reaching Republic City. Everybody on the ferry boat were asleep except for the assistant captain whom was driving the boat, Bolin who was attempting to write a note to Opal, and Varrick. Varrick was sitting on one of the cargo boxes looking up at the moon. The billionaire was uncharacteristically quiet for once, lost deep in thought over the events of the past week or so.
"Can't sleep?" Bolin asked Varrick as he took a seat on the other cargo box.
"Not really" Varrick said
"Yeah, I can't really sleep when I'm at sea either" Bolin admitted "Hell, I had a hard time sleeping while on the train..."
"It's not really that....it's just...I've been thinking..."
"You're always thinking, Varrick" Bolin said
"I know, but not about that stuff...about other stuff....what Zhu Li had said about me...."
"Oh...that..."
"She's right, you know. I never did say 'Thank you' and I really did ask her to do too much"
"You're telling me. God, I don't know how she managed to put up with all your crap. I mean she really did carry you for 20 miles with a sprained ankle?!"
"I didn't ask her to!" Varrick said "I didn't even know her ankle was sprained until we had reached Zaofu! I wish she had told me. I would've tried to carry her"
"Hopefully you'll get more than 3 steps before getting kidnapped by Earth Empire refugees" joked Bolin
"You know, if she had said something at any point in time, I would've listened and I would've scaled back on my demands" Varrick said to Bolin, looking out to sea. "It was just that she would never complain or ask about the request. She just did it. I guess I always thought no task was too tall for her..."
"It wasn't...but you still did take her for granted"
"I know I did" he replied to Bolin "And I wish I hadn't asked her to do the thing one so much."
"I don't think that the doing the thing part is the problem. I think she just wanted some appreciation, Varrick. That can go a long way with someone. I know that you don't mean to be an asshole, but you kind of are."
"Hey!" Varrick paused and then let out a sigh of defeat "Shit, you're right..."
"You're a good guy, but you have a tendency to take others for granted even if you don't mean to...."
"Just like Mrs. Beaks..." Varrick sighed
"Who's Mrs. Beaks?" Bolin asked
"My ostrich horse from when I was a kid" Varrick began, but was soon interrupted by Bolin.
"You know, comparing your assistant to your pet ostrich horse is not a good note to start on" Bolin pointed out
"Well, the same thing has pretty much happened. I took someone I love for granted and before I could tell them how much I really did love them, they were gone and it was all my damn fault. And now I'm here on this boat, all ragged up and muddied, pouring my heart out to you and just wishing I could undo it all"
"Well you can't really undo --" Bolin stopped abruptly as what Varrick said fully registered in his mind. He let out a gasp as his mouth turned upwards into a knowing smile. He balled his fists, let out a squee, and shook them like one of his fangirls would've done while he was in the Pro-Bender Leagues.
"What is it, kid? You look like you just saw the Moon Spirit appear before you" Varrick said
"You just said that you love her...you said you love Zhu Li!" Bolin said excitedly. He grabbed Varrick by his shoulders and shook him. "I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!"
"What are you babbling about?! I didn't say that!"
"Yes you did!" Bolin said excitedly "Oh man, this is HUGE!"
"I hate to disappoint you but I didn't mean it like that!" Varrick said, as Bolin let him go
"Really" Bolin was unconvinced
"What?" Varrick said, trying to study the look on Bolin's face
"After hearing your constant pining over Zhu Li for the past week or so, I'm going to have to call bullshit on this." Bolin said "Have you even heard yourself speak in the past two weeks?!"
"Kid, you and I both know that I don't listen to half of the things I say" Varrick said "Why do you think I had an assistant?"
"You haven't been able to shut up about her even for a moment. I think the longest you went without saying anything about her was when you were telling that extremely flattering but extremely falsified account of my so-called adventures" Bolin said
"Well it could just be that I miss having her around, has that ever occurred to you?" Varrick said "This love mumbo jumbo stuff that you're trying to pin on me is just not true. Even if it was, which I'm not saying it is, if I hadn't blown my chance before she betrayed me, then I certainly have blown it by now."
"I wouldn't necessarily say that" Bolin said "I think we all still have a shot so long as we're still living"
"Well it's not like you and Opal, kid. We've got too much history between us. You crazy kids have like....what? Three years?"
"So? What's the difference?"
"Well it's not that much time between you and her. Between me and Zhu Li? That ship has long since sailed. It was sailed the moment I hired her as my assistant all those years ago. You never dip your pen in the company ink, kid. No matter how smart, clever, understanding, lovely, and pretty that ink may be. Don't dip it! That's what I learned from the other businesses that I've encountered"
"So you have thought about it..." Bolin smirked
"Of course I have!" Varrick said in frustration. He then paused and realized what he said. "Um...I mean..."
"Can't go back on your words now!" Bolin chuckled "So you think that because of your working relationship that you wouldn't ever act on your feelings for her?"
"Whoa, kid. I never said I had feelings for her. I just said that I had thought about her and possibly ending up doing all that relationship stuff. It doesn't mean I have feelings for her now. We are just employer and employee. Nothing more. Nothing less."
The pause hung in the air as Bolin looked like he was deep in thought. Varrick sat there, worried if he had said the wrong thing. This was the first time he had ever admitted to anybody that he had once upon a time entertained the thought of dating Zhu Li. A look of realization flashed across Bolin's face as he looked up at the increasingly confused Varrick.
"Great Roku's Spirit...I think I get it!" Bolin said
"Get what, kid?"
"You never thanked her or showed your appreciation because you were afraid"
"What?! That's a ridiculous thought...why would I be afraid of something like that?!"
"Let's look at the facts here. You once considered the idea of being more than employer and employee with Zhu Li, right?"
"Yeah, but that was a long time ago. Like maybe the first year or two she was working for me" Varrick said "So?"
"Anyways, you said you didn't want to upset the work relationship because you don't date those you work with"
"Exactly! Which is why you should just drop the issue" Varrick said
"I'm just saying what if the reason you've never showed any gratitude or appreciation towards her was because you're afraid those feelings will flare up? So you pretty much just try to act as distant as possible in order to save your working relationship. I mean of course you're not doing it on purpose, it's all that psychological stuff that I've heard Suyin talk about once. Like how she and Lin went in different directions in order to get their mother's attention?"
"So what's your point?" Varrick said
"My point is that you've been in love with Zhu Li all this time and because of your fear of ruining the professional relationship you guys had, you kept it professional to the point of ungratefulness."
Varrick froze for a moment. He thought about what Bolin had said. For someone who was considered quite naive about most things in life, he seemed to have a surprising amount of insight at times. He kept staring up at the moon, wondering just how awful he really screwed things up with Zhu Li and what had caused it to get to the point that it did. Had he really taken it that far that Zhu Li actually felt that he didn't care for her? That he took her that much for granted? All because he was afraid that maybe his feelings might interfere? All this gaining of a conscience business was really screwing with him. He was interrupted from his thoughts by the sound of a yawn. He looked over and saw Bolin on the verge of sleep.
"Sorry, Varrick but I'm about to fall asleep" Bolin said. "Just think about what I've said, okay?"
"Sure thing, kid"
"Good night, Varrick...and try to get some sleep, okay?"
"I'll try, kid" Varrick said as Bolin jumped off the cargo box and went to lay down somewhere between Baraz and some young firebender kid.
Varrick turned his attention back to the moon up in the sky, letting this thoughts take over, all of them about Zhu Li. Maybe Bolin was right about why he acted the way he did, but he wasn't ready to admit that to himself yet. What he did know, however, was that he did miss Zhu Li and he vowed to make it up to her if by some chance, she betrayed Kuvira and wasn't killed on the spot.