Chapter Text
He didn't know if it was an ability that everyone had. And there was no way for him to ask without the potential of sounding like a lunatic, or at least a hippy.
“I can sense auras. Is that normal?”
He'd first noticed it when he was a kid. He could sense his father's fury. He could sense his brother's fear. Maybe he was just more perceptive than others. He wasn't sure, but by the time he hit puberty he could fully sense others' emotions, needs, wants.
It was like a dirty secret to him. His wasn't comfortable with his own emotions, much less the emotions of other people. It was overwhelming, and often confusing. So he kept it to himself.
It made him able to deal with people a little easier though, that was for sure. When he met the group at the quarry he didn't have to wonder how accepted they'd be. The cop was hostile and overprotective. The rest of them were wary, or just downright disgusted by him and Merle. That was something he was used to. So he went out, hunted down a few rabbits, and presented them to the cop as a peace offering.
“Carol will cook those up for us,” the cop said, gesturing to a grey-haired woman crouching by the fire. He still felt a wave of hostility emanating from the cop, so he grunted, shrugged, and made his way over to the woman.
Her fear hit him before he was anywhere near her. It wasn't directed at him, not at first, but as she sensed his approached it blossomed to a whole other level. He stopped beside her, and shuffled his feet.
“The cop – Shane, he said to give you these,” he said, holding the rabbits out by the rope around their necks.
Surprise. Then gratitude. It flowed from her in waves, like she'd never been shown kindness before.
“Thank you,” she said quietly, and then glanced to her left where a big man was watching them like a hawk.
The fear returned. Well. He figured that situation out pretty quickly.
*
He'd never spent so much time around so many people in his entire life. Mostly it'd just been him and Merle, and Merle wasn't someone he needed to figure out. Merle was just an asshole.
But his “gift”, or curse, depending on how he was feeling on a particular day had become both an asset and an annoyance. He was aware of every tiny bit of drama going on around him.
He knew Glenn was fucking that brunette cowgirl. He knew Shane was losing his mind. He knew that damn farmer was hiding something.
But Carol... Carol was overwhelming him, most of the time. Her fear and grief and anger – anger which she never showed - were all so strong. But her love was even stronger. She loved everyone, even when they didn't deserve it. It was almost painful to be around. He didn't know how anyone could feel so much without bursting.
And then one day she did.
He felt it. Every single piece of her soul shattering into a million pieces when her baby girl ambled out of that barn.
He couldn't deal with it, in the end. His own emotions were intense enough without her sorrow and pain interfering. It wasn't waves anymore; it was a fucking tsunami. So he ran. He put as much space between the two of them as he possibly could without completely abandoning the group. It was safer, and easier. But it felt like a loss.
She didn't let him go too far, though. She pulled him back somehow, and that's when he realized... she loved him, too.
She scared him. Sometimes he couldn't sense a thing from her, like she was empty inside, a hollow shell of the woman she was when her child was still in the world.
But those times became fewer and far between as she adapted to their new life on the road, and later the prison.
There was still sadness, but there was also joy, pride, satisfaction... and the love that persisted despite the shit hand she was usually dealt. Being around her was like being wrapped in a warm blanket.
He got to the point that he'd rather have him near her than somewhere else. Of course, there was more to it than just the comfort he took from her presence. He wanted to protect her, or at least make sure she could protect herself. She brought a balance to him that he never realized he needed. And somehow she understood him, more than he understood himself half the time.
It wasn't until Rick told him he'd thrown her out on her ass that Daryl realized how much he needed her in his life... How much he loved her, too.