Chapter Text
“And then, like the true romantic he is, daddy says ‘You are nothing… but not to me’.” I say lowering my voice to imitate Ben’s. “He held out his hand…”
“Did he have his globes on?” Hanna asks from under her puffy purple blanket squeezing her stuffed porg Princess in her tiny arms.
“Daddy always has gloves on, porg poopy.” Gideon grumbles having heard this story many times over.
“I’ve seen daddy without gloves on.” Gavyn brags rolling over pushing his brown hair out of his face.
“Giddy, I’ve told you to stop calling your sister porg poopy. Daddy doesn’t wear gloves all the time.” I smile laughing with Ben through the bond. Was it Gideon who said it? Yes. Gavyn bragged about seeing you without them. Do I really wear them that much? I am sorry honey. That is not an answer. You already know the answer. Our 7-year-olds already said it.
“What happened next mommy?” Hanna whispers from her blanket. Mommy took daddy’s hand and after we got off the ship safely daddy rocked mommy’s world. He sends me his memories of our first kisses in the shuttle, and that first night on the finalizer. Yeah, he did. Aren’t you in a meeting? You are having more fun.
“Mommy negotiated a safe retreat for Grandma and mommy’s resistance friends, and then I took daddy’s hand. Since then,” I sit on the edge of sweet Hanna’s bed. “we have tried our hardest to help people and bring peace. And, of course, we had all our sweet babies to keep us busy.” I kiss Hanna on her sweet sable curls, and she rubs her tiny hand over my belly. Her baby sister shifts and kicks her hand. These two are going to be best friends. I can already tell.
“She is my best friend mommy. I can’t wait for her to be borns.” Hanna says yawning as she pulls her blanket to her chin.
“She can’t wait either my darling. Now sleep.” I kiss her forehead and pray to the maker for no nightmares tonight. Amen. I would love our bed to ourselves for one night.
“Goodnight my loves. Sweet dreams.” I say to the room dimming the lights and the door closing behind me. Tell Zeven and Quinn that they are grounded from their holopads tomorrow. Oh no. What did they do this time? Hux is frustrated. They keep finding stormtroopers painting messages on the walls with no memory of why. This last one said ‘Hux sucks’ and he doesn’t find it funny. Oh maker, that is hilarious. I stop in the hallway and laugh out loud squeezing my thighs tight. Nobody warned us that half of parenting was having to discipline and not laugh at the fucking hilarious shit your kids do.
Nobody warned us about any of this. Shortly after our first few weeks together on the Finalizer we learned that we were surprisingly pregnant. Well, not that surprising. We were not careful at all. We got married in a small private ceremony on Naboo, and after our eldest daughter Lyra was born, we were coronated Emperor and Empress. A few months after the coronation, during the peace talks with the resistance, we discovered I was once again pregnant… this time with twins. Max and Mora were born later that year kicking and screaming from day one. Having three children under four while trying to close a war and provide for the galaxy was an extremely stressful situation so as soon as I was cleared, I went and got the implant from the Finalizer’s med bay. That one lasted a little over a year before it failed, and I became pregnant with our middle son Quinn. We tried the shot next, which also failed within the year and brought about Gideon and Gavyn. After they were born, we decided to give the implant one more shot before turning to any surgery options. For two years that worked, but I am not so sure it was entirely the implant. With six kids in and out of our bed, and Ben pulling out every single time we were able to stretch it. After I finally got the youngest twins potty-trained, we find out we were pregnant again. Ben had one night joked that we should just start numbering them, and I joked back about just changing a letter like “Zeven”… and then it stuck. Our feisty daughter Zeven made her entrance with my fastest labor of them all, and she has not slowed down since. Ben decided after that to get a vasectomy, which we enjoyed to the fullest. A year later we were surprised to learn that we were once again pregnant. We decided then and there that the force obviously has other plans despite our very best efforts. Our angel Hanna was born quiet and observant, and sending things flying whenever she would cry.
A little more than a year after Hanna was born, we started preparing Coruscant to be our new galactic capitol. Ben had to spend more and more time planet side, so we depended on our bond for any minute of alone time we could get. As if to laugh in our faces, we found out we are once again pregnant. This one conceived while Ben was on the other side of the galaxy. Now we all go everywhere together since it is so hard for Ben to focus while I am pregnant, and I never ever leave our children. He can feel all the cravings, pains, and mood swings, and he worries incessantly being too far apart… which of course I feel, which compounds my problems, which compounds his problems… into this vicious cycle of anxiety and nausea. So, the Finalizer is in orbit above Coruscant, and Ben comes and goes as needed.
At about the four kids mark we just took over a whole wing on the ship transforming it into our private floor. All four of the children’s bedrooms are by ours at the end of the hall, with Lyra being the only one who has a bedroom to herself… of which she demanded after her 14th birthday. Hers is the door farthest from ours, next to Zeven and Quinn’s room.
“Ly, try not to stay up all night binge watching. You have flying lessons with dad tomorrow and it is not safe to be tired.” I say gently into her open bedroom door. She is lounging on her ridiculous gold couch, watching the newest teenage angst drama off the holopad in her lap. She rolls her big brown eyes and throws her long black hair over her porcelain shoulder. She is wearing those flipping sexy jammies again. This is between you two. I clock out when it comes to teenage girl shit. So, the teenage boy crap is on you? Because I have given Max’s laundry duty to the droids after finding all the crunchy bathroom hand towels.
“MOOOM. I will not be tired tomorrow. I do this like every night. I’m not old like you.” She quips throwing her long legs back onto the couch and bringing the holopad to her lap again.
“I’m not old Ly.” I pout, getting self-conscious. You are not old my love.
“Your right. Dad is the one who is old.” Grrrrrrrrr. You are not old either honey. I’ll show you old later.
“Fucking gross, dad. You know mom’s shields suck when she is pregnant.” Lyra fake vomits over her ostentatious couch. “I guess it’s going to be another headphones night.” I do not know what to say to this.
“Language! You know your sisters and brothers repeat everything you say. Good night Lyra. We love you. Don’t stay up too late, please.” I say retreating from her door as quickly as I can.
I knock on Zeven and Quinn’s door and step into the chaos. They are mischievous blossoming artists, so every wall of their room is painted bright and colorful, including the ceiling since Quinn will levitate Zeven to all the high spots. You would think with him being nine, and her being almost 6 they would not have so much in common, but they are inseparable and have been since her birth. They finish each other’s sentences, guard the others back, and are never apart. Quinn potty-trained her in three days, without saying a word. He just transferred his knowledge to her, and she adapted it to herself. Their room is quiet, and peaceful while they live and talk in their own little world.
“You two have got to stop force compelling the stormtroopers. Please give mommy your holopads, and you two can have them back after tomorrow.” They trade a look and send the holopads to my waiting hands. Not that it was not hilarious. You are not helping. They both smile up at me and Zeven giggles. I shake my head and keep my face serious. “Now, it’s time for bed. Teeth brushed and ready for bed?”
They both nod and climb into their bright colored pods. I tuck blankets under sweet chins and give forehead kisses grateful that they crawled in and feel genuinely tired and ready for bed.
“Sweet dreams my loves.” I whisper dimming the lights as I head out the door. It is looking like a quiet bed to ourselves night honey. I am ending the meeting now. I’ll be in the shuttle in 5. I place my palm to Max and Mora’s quiet door and find them both dreaming. I step into their room and put bookmarks into all the various books left open on both their beds and close them. There are stacks and stacks of books and holocrons on their nightstands and desks. I tuck them in tighter and kiss their foreheads. Sweet dreams my loves.
I pick up all the toys in the hallway and throw them into the tub in the playroom. I look around at the mess and just sigh. Just let the droids handle it. It will be clean by the morning… Go take a bath. I am almost there. I focus on him and can feel him in the shuttle heading into the Finalizer’s docking bay. I nod knowing it will get done and the door closes behind me.
I waddle down the hall sending love to all my sleeping babies. And Lyra, who of course is not asleep. I hurry to her door sensing her sadness and grief. It is just the show mom. The main characters girlfriend just died in his arms. He just told her he loved her. They just got back together. She bawls into my head. I am sorry sweetheart. That sounds very tragic. I reply wishing I could hug her. If that were me, I would have healed her. It would suck to not be force sensitive. I nod remembering all the many times I have healed broken bones and bleeding owies, even imaginary owies when attention is all that was wanted. Goodnight sweetheart. Please try not to stay up. “Goodnight mama.” I hear whispered through the door.
I walk through our bedroom throwing off layers, leaving a trail to the refresher for Ben to find. I start the bathtub and pour in my favorite oils and salts stirring the tub with my hand. I rub my stretch marked belly and look at myself in the mirror. Here I am. I am 34, with almost nine beautiful babies. I have managed to keep my weight steady, but my hips are wider, and everything is generally looser. Between nursing 8 babies, and pregnancy hormones my breasts have become beasts that refuse to be caged. They practically sit on top of my big belly flashing my dark sensitive nipples amongst my pale freckled sun starved skin. I know Ben can sense all these feelings, and I also know that he is choosing to be silent because he tells me every day how beautiful I am despite how much I do not always believe him. It’s because you are. I sigh and step into the tub leaning back against the warm stone side letting my body float with my belly making an island amongst the water. I close my eyes and follow Ben’s force signature up the lift and into our wing. He steps into every room kissing their sleeping heads and tells Lyra to go the fuck to sleep. She’s already got a potty mouth. I wonder where she gets it from. I hear him chuckle stepping into our room. He pulls off his cape, and peels off his gloves leaving them on the dresser. He sits on our big bed and pulls off his heavy black boots leaving them by his side of the bed. He quickly undoes his tunic’s hooks and peels it down his arms. He pulls his undershirt over his head throwing it into the laundry chute as he walks into the refresher.
“How did the meeting go?” I ask with my eyes still closed.
“The same as usual. The representative from Cantonica brought some gifts.” He says putting toothpaste on his toothbrush and watching me through the mirror. I sit up splashing water out the side.
“Don’t tease me. Did he bring my favorites?!” I ask with pouty lips.
“He has saved Mitaka a trip because he brought your favorites. I might approve whatever stupid request he’s bringing forward just for that.” He smiles back towards me and starts brushing his teeth. There is this little chocolate shop in downtown Canto Bight that makes the most amazing muja fruit truffles. I have been craving them so badly Ben was about to send his assistant to get some. “We can’t let it slip that all it takes is some truffles to get the Emperor and Empress to agree to almost anything.”
*****
“I can’t wait!” I lick my lips dreaming of chocolate, and then watch Bens muscles ripple in his arms and back as he brushes his teeth. I blush as his eyes meet mine in the mirror and our parental foreplay begins. He sends me every daydream of every place he imagined fucking me on or bending me over while he rinses his teeth and gets the rest of his clothes off. I start touching all over my body sending the feelings to the both of us while I get out and dry myself mostly off. I sit back onto my heels on the bed and spread my knees wide rubbing circles onto my clit and twisting a nipple with my other hand. We both groan as he makes it to the side of the bed pulling a pillow off the bed for his knees. Hooking his large hands behind my calves he pulls me to the edge of the bed as I lay back. He throws my ankles over his shoulders and spreads me wide running his tongue through my core. I pick my head up off the bed and I laugh that I cannot see him underneath my belly anymore. He runs his hands up my thighs until they round over my belly. I feel him gently use the force to make our daughter sleep. Force sensitive children learn about sex exceedingly early on and it freaks Ben out that he can sense the baby’s consciousness.
We have also learned that every time we orgasm, we send out a great amount of force energy and it tends to wake up our children. They usually go back to sleep, or they head to our bedroom to crawl into our bed and we have not found a lock that can keep them out yet. So, we work hard to finish together so that we can hurry and get clothed, but after eight babies it takes me a little bit longer than it used to. He licks circles in all the right places, drawing me closer with big slightly hooked fingers. When he feels me start to squeeze around him, he slips his fingers out and runs them up and down his shaft as I push myself back to the center of the bed. He kisses up my back as he pulls my back towards his chest and pulls my hips towards his. He hooks an arm under my knee and slides himself in slowly. He starts setting the pace while keeping a watch on everyone’s signatures, until he starts struggling to focus. He rubs hard circles in time with his thrusts, and we share our mutual pleasures until we don’t know where one of us begins and the other ends. I moan into his kisses while I detonate around him drawing him in deeper. He thrusts one final time dropping my leg and pulling my hips hard to his as he comes with his muscles shaking and shivering along my back. We take a minute to catch our breaths and then I throw on some underwear and a tank top and he finds his sleep shorts in the dresser. We crash back into the bed and I find my place tucked into his side with my leg over his and my head on his chest.
*****
We yawn settling into the warm blankets as our heartrates slow, when the unlock alarm chimes as Hanna force unlocks the door and shuffles in dragging princess by the wing on the floor behind her. She crawls in snuggling under the blanket into my back. Ben pets her hair and I hear her breathing slow until she is dreaming softly behind me. Goodnight my love. Goodnight honey. He kisses my temple, and we catch what sleep that we can.
The next morning, I wake to Ben’s holopad going off on the dresser.
“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck… I’m sorry my love I thought I turned that down.” He says crawling out from under Gavyn and Gideons limbs. Hanna sits up digging through the sheets to find princess.
“Fffff…” Hanna starts to say, and I interrupt.
“No! Daddy said a bad word. Don’t listen to daddy.” I tell her narrowing my eyes at Ben. I’m sorry my love. I don’t fucking mean to.
“Fucking mean to do what daddy?” Hanna asks squeezing princess and giving us innocent eyes as Ben laughs into the refresher. I cover my face with a pillow. Why do I even try?
“Come on pumpkin. Let us let mommy and brothers sleep for a bit while we go check on breakfast.” Ben says pulling Hanna into his arms. I smile and roll over burying my nose into my sweet boy’s hair returning to sleep even if its just for a few more minutes. I love you. I love you too.