Work Text:
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
He hated himself, he hated himself, oh god how he hated himself.
Victor hadn’t meant to hurt David, he never wanted too, and didn’t intend too either, but like the fuckup he was, he did anyway. When everything had become too much, he had lost control of his powers, shocking everywhere while his busted inhibitors did nothing to stop it, hurting David in the process. He had had to go to the medbay, while Victor had been thrown back into solitary confinement like usual as punishment for harming another person, even if it was an accident.
It was always on accident, but that didn’t mean Victor felt any less like shit. It was his powers that harmed David, no matter if he controlled it or not. It was his body’s fault that David was hurt.
Fuck himself, fuck his variation and fuck these useless inhibitors.
Why couldn’t he just be good at something and control his variation? That was terrible. So many people would be out of harm’s way, and so many people wouldn’t have received injuries thanks to him. David included, several times. And each time, Victor felt worse than the time before. The injuries seemed to just become more severe, the older he got, the more unstable and powerful his body and powers seemed to become. And that was like a deadly combo in this world, especially since he kept hurting the people he cared about.
Like his boyfriend.
He hated not being normal. He hated that he wasn’t dormant. If he was, he wouldn’t have these problems anymore, and David would be safe whenever they were close together instead of things being like this.
He didn’t know why David kept forgiving him, why he didn’t just break up with him, because to Victor, he felt like he didn’t deserve it.
Yes, he didn’t.
Everything would be so much easier for David if he didn’t.