Chapter Text
The message was just barely received and hardly discernible. Whatever technology it had been sent through was truly rudimentary, pitiful at best. It had been a fair bit of time since Horde Prime had come into contact with such derelict machinery, but he managed to decode the message.
And he would’ve waved it away with a quirk of his brow and a pointed tap of his index finger, had he not been smart enough to take his unriddling one step further by decrypting the carrier of the message and obtaining footage of what had occurred mere moments before it was sent.
The video is fuzzy and lacking in substantial detail, but that was fine. It wasn’t like he had expected much better.
A shadowy figure of black and red hues appears on the screen, activating whatever crude mechanism had been used, sneering as she says, “…I’ve always known you to be a disappointment. But I really didn’t think you’d make this so easy.”
He tilts his head in interest, eyes watching where his defective, pathetic brother stands expectantly as the woman inserts…some sort of sword into the machine. Only for the technology to reject it, to sputter and crackle uselessly as the sword is heaved onto the ground. The work of some sort of magic, he’s certain.
Once fallen, the sword changes shape into some ordinary, black and silver weapon. The woman-a Magicat, if he’s correct, laughs from her constraints on the ground.
“You really thought I believed you? Really thought I was going to fall for your crap again? Betray the only people who ever gave a shit about me? I told you—you’re not getting Adora. And that includes She-Ra.”
Hm. Powerful and brazen.
As soon as the thought manifests itself in his mind, his brethren begin discerning the coordinates that the message was transmitted from.
Horde Prime zooms in on the girl with interest as she continues to fight against her restraints in the playback. Whispering to himself, he asks, “And who… might you be?”
“Catra!”
Adora’s voice is booming and filled with excitement as she picks up her girlfriend in a tight embrace.
“Agh! Put me down!” Is the shriek she receives in response, but Catra’s squirms are half-hearted at best.
“No,” Adora refuses with her voice muffled by where her face is buried in Catra’s shoulder, tightening her hold, “Missed you.”
Change is happening. Not just in Bright Moon, but all of Etheria. The air feels cleaner and the sky seems brighter somehow. Adora tried to explain this to Bow on their way back from a simple supply drop off in Plumeria, only for him to cast her a knowing smile and say “Maybe it’s because the war is over now. Or maybe… it’s just because someone is in love.”
And, so what if it’s true? So what if Adora is in love with her best friend? After years of not being able to much as look at Catra for more than ten seconds without a crushing feeling of guilt and paranoia, only for those moments to end by having to treat Catra as her enemy and then nearly losing Catra more than once, Adora feels like she’s allowed to just be happy.
It’s been a few months since the Horde was defeated, since Catra told her that she loved her and that happiness has yet to fade. Adora would’ve just been happy to have Catra back, but the fact that Catra is her girlfriend now? It’s more than she ever could’ve asked for. It was something she didn’t even know would be possible to have.
“C’mon, you were only gone for like a day!” Catra reminds her, but Adora knows her-knows the smile in her voice, can hear her heart beating excitedly in her chest at the attention.
It was a long day. It had been fun to visit Perfuma in Plumeria, especially since the princess wouldn’t be able to make the Alliance meeting today. It wasn’t super mandatory for all of the princesses to attend every meeting now, not when rebuilding their own kingdoms took precedence.
But still. Fun or not, both her and Bow had wished that their girlfriends could come along. Apparently, Catra signing those papers was more than just a formality, she had to do real princess work. Work that not even Adora knew about despite her title as She-Ra, because…there was no kingdom for She-Ra to govern.
Catra was good at it though. She seemed to pick up the basics of political relations and diplomacy with a greater ease than Glimmer had, much to her chagrin. It was fun to watch Catra lead, now that Catra wasn’t leading something that directly sought the Rebellion’s demise.
Adora presses a kiss to her neck with a smile and swings her a bit in defiance, “Admit it, you missed me too!”
“Are you two done yet?” Glimmer huffs from where she’s standing next to Bow. A few members of the Rebellion regard the scene with fondness.
Adora thinks they might just need a new name. There is nothing for them to rebel against now. It’s all just a bunch of boring rebuilding and surveying and reconstructing and things that separate her and Catra for an agonizingly long day.
Maybe she’ll pitch it at their next meeting. Which should be in…now, actually, hence Glimmer’s impatience.
Embarrassed at the extremely public display of affection, Catra continues to squirm in her arms as Adora spins them around to face Glimmer and Bow—who is not helping Glimmer by cooing over how cute the reunion is.
Adora gives her a guilty smile as Catra opts for trying to shove herself out of Adora’s arms. Finally, Adora relents and carefully lets Catra slide out of her hold, dropping her hands to her sides. Glimmer doesn’t look any more pleased than before, but Adora knows for a fact that Bow got extra time to greet her because he basically ran off of Mara’s ship the second it landed. So, really, it wasn’t fair that they got more time.
Adora tells Glimmer as much with a pout and gets waved away with a telling blush. Meanwhile, Catra stares at her expectantly—apparently not wanting or expecting Adora to withdraw all physical contact, so Adora grabs her hand as they head into the meeting room. “Hm, guess you did miss me then?” She teases.
“My hands are just cold,” It’s an obvious lie that comes to Catra with an unconcealable smile. It makes Adora roll her eyes affectionately—this is just how Catra is. She never quite likes to admit to missing her, or anyone to Adora’s knowledge. Ever since they were kids it had been like this, if they were separated Catra would act like it didn’t bother her even if it clearly had. Even when they were cadets and there was that gas leak in their barracks that led to everyone being evacuated and sleeping in different quarters for a week. Catra had been in a terrible mood but would never admit it was because she missed Adora.
Somethings don’t change and Adora is fine with that. Because even if Catra doesn’t say it, she most certainly shows it. Besides, Catra says plenty of other things and doesn’t leave Adora guessing on where they stand in their relationship anymore. She can tell Adora if she needs a moment to herself or if she’s upset about something and Adora is always just…amazed at how far they’ve come.
“What are you smiling for?” Catra bumps their shoulders together with a smug glance.
The answer to that question is-a lot, actually. Adora has a lot to be happy for; she’s happy to be back in Bright Moon and even happier that Catra won’t have to stick around for any perfunctory meetings and can come with her and Bow next time. Even if Catra will resign herself to sitting in the shade and simply watching while Adora does the heavy lifting.
Angella and Micah notice their intertwined hands, the way their shoulders are brushing and how they position their chairs so closely when they sit down that they might as well be on top of each other—their knowing glance makes Catra blush.
“Don’t,” she hisses at them preemptively.
Adora snickers when Micah scoffs, “Don’t what? We didn’t say anything!”
“Don’t do what you were thinking about doing,” Catra requests haughtily.
“And what is it that were we thinking about, again?” Angella asks, turning to Micah, “How lovesick our daughter was without Adora here?—”
“Lovesick?” Adora repeats with a bright smile, eyeing Catra who is now bright red.
“Hm, sounds about right,” Micah agrees, “We were actually worried something was wrong, given how much Catra was moping around yesterday. But she jumped right out of bed when I told her your ship was due back a bit earlier.”
Catra looks dangerously close to sliding off of her chair and sinking underneath the table to escape their teasing. And it’s just so cute and funny and Adora can see past the façade and see how happy Catra genuinely is. She thinks her heart might just actually burst.
“Did those adoption papers come with a 180-day warranty or something?” Catra grumbles.
“Afraid not,” Angella answers instantly, “As a matter of fact, I’ve met with of our architects, they think they might be able to put a mosaic of them in the Grand Hall somewhere.”
“Absolutely not!” Catra protests sitting up straight with abject horror, much to Micah and Adora’s amusement. When Catra picks up on the sound of Glimmer giggling she wholeheartedly points to her, “And what about her? Is anyone gonna talk about how mopey and annoying she was without Arrow Boy?”
“Hey,” Bow frowns, “I thought we were past that!”
Catra shoots him a blank stare, like she’s about to repeat the nickname just to bother him when the doors of the war room fling open. Scorpia and Entrapta are standing in their wake looking winded—well, Scorpia at least. Entrapta looks like she was just dragged along.
Adora’s heart gives an involuntarily lurch, a ghost of dread pulling at the back of her mind. The two had spent the last few days in the Fright Zone, exploring some of the abandoned tech that Hordak had taken from Beast Island. As anticipated, it must not have taken Entrapta long to find something of importance to the Rebellion.
They were expecting …something interesting, Adora supposes. Like a ‘here is something wild and insane that Hordak was planning and isn’t it a good thing we were able to stop him’? But nothing bad. Nothing crazy important. Nothing to warrant the pinched look of worry on Scorpia’s face.
“Everyone…we have news and-whooh boy it is a doozy,” She says in between breaths.
Scorpia and Entrapta weren’t supposed to find something that shattered their beliefs entirely, something so substantial and concerning that proved the war was far from over.
Catra is livid.
Of course Etheria has been stuck orbiting around some stupid shadow dimension for like a thousand years. Of course that was the only thing protecting them from an earlier-invasion of Horde fucking Prime. That’s why stupid Hordak needed the stupid Sword of Protection to get his message through the portal.
Which, of course, because Catra can’t do anything right, fucking worked somehow.
Okay-Catra takes a breath, reminding herself that she did stop Hordak’s full-scale portal plans. She did not fail. Hordak just got super fucking lucky that whatever magic Catra had, no matter how meager compared to the full might of She-Ra, somehow was enough for a message to barely break through.
If it weren’t for her, they’d be in a way worse situation right now. Everything they’re doing right now is simply precautionary, according to Micah at least.
But that doesn’t change the fact that Entrapta was able to find a small tear-don’t ask Catra how the hell that’s even possible- in whatever stupid starless ozone layer they’re surrounded by. This tear would, hypothetically, be enough for Horde Prime to barrel his enormous army through.
Which, of course that dumb asshole is going to do because his stupid bastard brother is here and that was the plan all along. It sends a shiver down her spine. She isn’t eager to meet any family member of Hordak.
But now everyone is being stupid and nobody is listening to her and she hasn’t felt this angry since…god, she can’t even remember when.
Because, on top of all of this absolute bullshit, it turns out that they’ve been sitting on an ancient superweapon—the Heart of Etheria, apparently. Yeah, that’s right, it turns out this whole planet can become some sort of mega weapon. And if that sounds bad, it’s just because it is bad.
Anything that can yield that much power has to be bad. Especially since it requires, oh-Catra doesn’t know, just for her girlfriend and all of her friends to put themselves in a stupid amount of danger just to power it up. They found out they have to do some ridiculous ‘restore balance to all of Etheria’ bullshit after Adora visited Light Hope—who Catra still doesn’t care much for, by the way.
But that was all fine or whatever. Because ultimately they agreed they wouldn’t do it. They would sit on it, since there was no real imminent threat just yet. Brainstorm and come up with a different idea that didn’t involve powering an ancient superweapon that none of them actually knew how to use.
At least that's what Catra thought. Until Entrapta was able to detect Prime’s presence looming closer, predicting only a matter of a day or so until he arrived. And of course, because Catra has surrounded herself with complete and total idiots, they just ran headfirst into activating the Heart.
Spearheading the stupid campaign was fucking Glimmer. Catra wanted to throttle her. And Catra didn’t know what the Alliance was like before she joined, before Micah returned, but from what she gathered it was a lot of Angella calling the shots and arguing with Glimmer who desperately wanted to call the shots.
But now things were changing, Glimmer was older and more emboldened now. Angella didn’t like the idea almost as much as Catra, but Micah was a bit more open to it—and that wiggle room was just enough for Glimmer to use the urgency of the situation to her advantage.
Adora was hesitant at first, but then begged Catra to understand that it was what had to be done. Bow still didn’t think it was a great idea but didn’t stop it because he’s a total doormat with his girlfriend, the rest of the princesses seemed fine with it-hell even Scorpia had sided with Glimmer too. Catra didn’t really get a say because she wasn’t connected to a stupid runestone.
Sorry I never needed to get my power from a fucking magical rock.
Everything happened so quickly after that. They ran off to go reconnect her with the Black Garnet while Catra stayed behind, helplessly on Bright Moon.
Until, that is, Micah and Entrapta had used two completely different pathways to arrive to the same conclusion that Catra had already been at: activating the Heart is a godawful idea. They found her in a rush with Micah trying to explain with his weird, sorcerer knowledge while Entrapta interspersed all of the science-y reasons on why it was a horrible plan that could get them all seriously hurt before they ran off. If anything, Catra was more irritated and disoriented in their wake. She didn’t need some stupid old scroll or data-based research to tell her that the Heart was dangerous.
But it seems like her intuition alone hadn’t been enough to get anyone to believe her. The darkest parts of her, the ones that were infuriatingly resilient and difficult to stomp out, lingered potently in the recesses of her mind and wondered if it was because she had failed.
“I mean, sure, maybe I stopped Hordak from fully opening that portal but if I never used my magic in the first place, or at least less of it, then maybe the message would’ve never gotten through! And I don’t know how that fucking—”
“Language.”
“I don’t know how that…tear in the ozone happened, but I’m sure it was my fault somehow! And now no one would just listen to me about the Heart because I’m the reason the message got sent in the first place.”
Everyone left Bright Moon except for Angella, who has never been onboard with the plan. Because Angella, Queen Angella of Bright Moon, is the only one with fucking sense around here, Catra has come to realize.
You get it from your mother, Micah had joked to her a few weeks ago. It was ridiculous, she laughed at the time, because there were no shared genetics there, obviously. But it was now abundantly clear that Angella and Catra were the only ones spearheading the coalition for logic and reason.
“Catra,” Angella sighed heavily, placing a hand on Catra’s hunched shoulders and keeping it there even when Catra turns away. “I know you have quite the pension for blaming yourself and I do appreciate how you’ve told me this instead of harboring it silently and acting on it recklessly later…”
Catra’s hand twitches at that. She didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to give voice to the thoughts that she shouldn’t even be having in case that somehow made them more real. But it was just her and Angella here, and she’s never been great at keeping things from her. Micah had more or less snuck under her defenses, she didn’t even realize she opened up to him until after it already happened. But something about Angella…makes her actually want to open up.
“But I’m afraid it’s simply not possible.” Angella explains, “If it had been anyone other than you, the situation would have ended far worse. Think about it, had they gotten their hands on the true sword, the portal would’ve been opened entirely. And even if they couldn’t get the sword, if your magic had been enough to open the portal just a bit, Shadow Weaver’s surely would’ve sufficed as well. It wouldn’t have taken them very long to figure that out—”
“Don’t know about that. They’re kind of stupid,” Catra offers with a small smile. She can say that now. Now that they’re far away and can’t hurt her.
Angella returns it, “You know what I mean. They would’ve found some other way to try to open the portal. And if had been anyone other than you, they wouldn’t have stopped at just sending the message through. You’ve given us our best shot at getting ahead.”
Catra turns to face her at that, feeling just the slightest bit better and shoulders feeling a bit less heavy. She even allows herself to feel comforted by the hand that reaches out to cup her face.
But then…then the Heart gets activated. Catra, realistically, should have no way of knowing if or when it happens, but suddenly Angella’s hand falls. She lets out an alarming noise of pain before falling to the ground, arms wrapped protectively around herself and covered with symbols that Catra can’t recognize.
“Angella?” Catra cries, leaning onto the ground next to her as she continues to cry out in pain.
“Stay back,” Angella grits through her teeth. “This power…is unpredictable…”
“Angella!” Catra ignores her and reaches out, trying to think of something, anything to do to help.
Magic rolls off of the Queen in waves, her eyes lit up a bright white. She shoves Catra away, voice intense and booming with pain, “I said, stay back!”
Catra falls backward, a great few feet away from Angella, eyes widened in terror. She doesn’t even register the pain of falling to the ground, so transfixed on the bright lights and colors that fill the room, the inescapable feeling of helplessness…
A memory bubbles to the surface. No matter how hard Catra tries to shove it down or how desperately she tries to focus on the pinks and pastels of the room that are wildly different from the dark reds and greys of a devil she knows too well, she can’t. Angella is just trying to protect her. It’s different. It’s so different. But suddenly it isn’t Angella she sees crouched on the floor in agony in front of her, it’s Shadow Weaver.
“Now go.” Dark and towering with power above her, her voice is just as loud as ever before. Catra closes her eyes, brings her hands to her ears, anything to try to shove the memory out of her mind, but it’s futile. It’ll replay itself whether her eyes are open or not—she sees Shadow Weaver advance toward her, “I said go!”
Terror beats like an old pattern in her veins. She feels like she might as well be back in the Fright Zone again, and god dammit this is why she never goes back with Scorpia or Entrapta. She has no idea why they always do or how it’s so fucking easy for them. The urge to run overpowers her, but her legs feel frozen and her breaths come out staggered and irregular. Stupid. This is all so stupid and no one listened to her-
“…Catra?” She hears a voice call out to her and she wrenches her eyes open. She’s not sure how much time has passed, but the lights are gone, whatever wave of magic that was draining Angella has dissipated. She sits up straight, unaware of when she had even folded herself so tightly up against the wall.
Her legs feel weak when she stands, which is ridiculous-she didn’t even do anything. But she feels…weirdly worn out. Her heart is still hammering wildly, but Angella seems to be…better now. She’s still hunched over on the floor, eyes scanning the room for Catra and but not the unnatural white hue they just were. Catra crosses the room and runs over to her.
“Are you alright?” Angella asks immediately as Catra inspects her face and arms—the writing is gone.
“Pft,” Catra scoffs, “I’m not the one who was just used to fire an ancient super weapon, am I?”
This is Angella. This is Angella who is real and in front of her and needs her help right now—Catra has to shove any other thoughts aside. She helps her stand, allows her to lean on her for support even though she still feels a pulsing desire to run. But Angella needs her right now.
“It didn’t work,” Angella reports through labored breaths. Catra doesn’t question how she’s able to tell, she’s just connected to it. “Adora was able to stop it. For a great price I fear.”
“A great price?” Catra echoes, mind jumping to the worst possible scenario.
“She’s alright. Everyone is alright. But it didn’t work,” Angella repeats, skin looking grey and unhealthy. That thing really drained the life out of her and it makes Catra’s skin crawl. “Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”
“No. Yeah. I’m fine,” The words come out so quickly, Catra isn’t sure if she’s spoken them in the correct order. Or if they’re a lie. Angella didn’t hurt her. Didn’t try to, at least. She was trying to protect her. It’s not her fault that Catra’s stupid brain just does this—
Once Angella seems a bit steadier on her feet, Catra moves to pull away. She’s trying to escape detection from the Queen, but it’s too late, “Catra…I apologize. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I feared my power was out of my control and didn’t want to hurt you.”
Catra shakes her head indignantly, backing up and putting some space between them, “What? I’m not a child. You don’t scare me. Get real.” She crosses her arms, hating the way her voice shakes. “I’m fine. I’m just. Worried about everyone else.”
Angella opens her mouth to argue, but Seahawk reappears carrying Mermista and pulls away her attention. Catra takes the distraction as an opportunity to slip away, to collect her thoughts before more people reappear. She climbs up to her usual place on the roof and feels a familiar wave of anger cover her like a blanket.
She watches everyone come back in dribs and drabs. Judging by the bright, shining stars in the sky, whatever their plan was, clearly it put them in a worse position than ever before. There wasn’t just a small opening for Horde Prime to force his way through. They were out in the open now. Sitting ducks. Living evidence of their failure.
When Scorpia comes back on a loaner skiff with Perfuma and Frosta, her eyes easily find Catra, like she knew exactly where to look. Scorpia looks worse for the wear, tired and drained just like Angella. But she gives Catra a small wave and hopeful smile, as if that somehow makes it okay. Catra snarls in response, clutching her fist and purposely ignoring her.
Glimmer and Scorpia snuck away while she was trying to stop Adora, which had only left Catra feeling powerless.
Adora didn’t listen to her. Adora listened to Glimmer instead. And everything happened so fast-so chaotically, that next thing Catra knew was by herself in Bright Moon, terrified of the woman who’s supposed to be her mother, watching helplessly as all of the power drains out of her. With no idea about what the hell is happening or what to do about it.
She’s so…mad she can’t think straight. She doesn’t even know who to blame. Everyone is complicit. Either they supported Glimmer or let it happen. She even blames herself, for not being…for not being able to convince anyone to listen. To stay.
She knows the only person she can’t blame is Angella. But even she’s hard to think about. Between feeling guilty for equating her to Shadow Weaver, even internally, to watching her suffer…it only makes Catra feel worse.
When she sees Adora return, she slides down the roof and lands gracefully in the courtyard below despite her seething anger. She’s ready to give Adora a piece of her mind. She doesn’t care if it’s in front of everyone. Why should she? No one cared to listen to her before and now everyone is hurt and she was helpless to do a damn thing about it. She crosses her arms as Adora approaches, head hung and eyes tired in a way that only fuels her anger.
Micah walks past her first, Entrapta silently at his side. “Catra, don’t—”
“Save it,” Catra spits out, looking at him with absolute fire in her eyes. “Your wife collapsed today so maybe you should go worry about her.”
Your wife. Catra chose the word carefully. It distances herself from him, the both of them. He recognizes that with a flash of hurt but nods, understanding that he can’t say or do anything right now that will lessen Catra’s fury.
Her nails dig into the flesh of her arm when Adora drags herself up to her. She looks down , refusing to look Adora in the eye. She won’t break the silence, not when Adora has some explaining to do—
“She-Ra’s gone,” Adora announces tearfully. It’s enough to grab Catra’s attention. Enough to put that anger and rage on a temporary pause. Catra looks up, sees the broken sword in Adora’s hand, but more importantly sees the heartbreak and pain in Adora’s eyes. She sees Adora. Exhausted and shaking with the restraint to keep herself from reaching out for Catra.
Adora knows it was wrong, knows Catra is upset with her. Catra isn’t sure if she’s angrier at Adora or at for herself for the way that anger fades when she sees Adora like this. But Catra can’t stand it. Can’t stand to see Adora looking so broken in front of her.
Adora intakes a sharp breath when Catra grabs her and pulls her forward, into her arms. She’s rigid for a moment, clearly surprised and having expected a different reaction entirely. But Catra’s embrace is warm and safe. Even if Catra is upset, she knows now isn’t the time for that. Adora lets herself relax against her, not too terribly surprised when tears follow.
Maybe there was another time, another place where Catra would’ve shoved Adora away. Would’ve focused on her own pain and anger and stalked off to let Adora fester in her own. While those feelings are still there, Catra can’t just let Adora agonize over the weight of the day, the loss of She-Ra by herself.
They don’t talk much for the rest of the night. Catra leads them to Adora’s—their room, and holds Adora tightly—only breaking apart briefly to actually get into the bed. Even then, Adora looks fearful, like Catra is about to change her mind and leave.
“I don’t get why you’re not yelling at me,” Adora confesses wetly, “You…looked so angry.”
“Shut up Adora,” Catra shakes her head, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the bed. She expects to pull Adora back into her chest, but Adora is the one who grabs her first. Distantly, Catra knows why. Knows that Adora would probably rather be held, but things feel…fragile right now. Adora is probably spiraling in her head, probably worried that Catra will up and leave like she had the night of Micah’s celebration. It’s not something that comes up often, but when Adora is insistent on holding instead of being held, Catra doesn’t press it.
Still, even with how tightly she’s holding Catra, Adora still asks, “Will you stay?”
“Yeah,” Catra confirms patiently.
“Can we talk?”
“Not right now,” Catra shakes her head, “But later.”
It’s not the answer Adora is hoping for, but Catra can’t talk to her when she’s like this. When she’s so hurt and Catra feels a compulsion to do anything to make it better. It’s not fair to her to just let Adora get away with…everything that happened today. She owes it to both of them—they both owe it to each other, really, to talk about this in the morning.
Adora accepts this much. Catra can feel her nod, feel the vibrations in her chest as she says, “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” Catra closes her eyes. Wills herself to fall asleep, to think about anything other than the image of Angella collapsed on the ground, the ensuing flashbacks of Shadow Weaver, the fear that Adora wouldn’t come back…She can’t give Adora forgiveness yet. But she knows that isn’t exactly what Adora is asking for right now, either. So instead she offers, “I’m here.”
The next morning, there is a battle in Catra’s brain. A war between two parts of herself: the part that feels guilty and ashamed for feeling so angry when everyone left and the part of her that feels justification in her anger, that wishes they had just listened to her. That her words would’ve been enough for them. For Adora.
The only point of clarity she has is her resolution that she shouldn’t still feel this way. She should be past these feelings of rage and hurt and betrayal, shouldn’t she? How on earth could she feel jealous that Adora had listened to Glimmer instead of her? Adora is dating her. Adora loves her. And although Catra would never admit it out loud, Glimmer is like a sister to her. Who is very much in love with someone else.
She isn’t by herself anymore, either. It isn’t just her clinging to Adora like a lifeline in the darkness of the Fright Zone. She has Micah and Angella and the rest Alliance. But…that’s what makes everything feel worse. She feels a bit spurned by everyone. Not just Adora. She can’t fight that petulant urge for someone to just tell her that she was right and everyone else was wrong for not listening to her.
Micah looks at her with remiss before the Alliance meeting begins, says some bullshit about how they were doing the best they could with the information they had. It’s just his pathetic attempt at trying to save face for his daughter—
No. Stop. She has to remind herself of everything Micah has done for her. Of how far they’ve come. Of every time he could’ve picked Glimmer over her but didn’t.
The conflict grows within her, adding to her irritability. Unsure of what to feel and how to feel it—and if feeling it makes her a bad person or throws away any progress she’s made.
She’s just…she’s not supposed to feel like she doesn’t matter anymore. But how can any of what she feels matter now, in the face of unspeakable danger and imminent doom?
Arms crossed and exuding an attitude of don’t talk to me, she ignores all pointed stares from Scorpia and the empty seat next to her. She especially ignores all of the kicked puppy glances from Glimmer. Bow is actually pissing her off the least, so she takes a seat next to him.
“Shut up,” She grumbles at him before he even has the chance to say anything.
“I’m not happy about this either, Catra,” Bow points out. Catra looks to him, notices that he also elected not to sit near Glimmer. She’s never seen him look so…she can’t really define it. But she didn’t know the human male embodiment of sunshine and optimism could look so…glum.
He’d also been pretty reticent about the whole plan, if she recalls correctly. She thinks she respects him a little bit more. At least they can commiserate about their ridiculous girlfriends together.
The meeting proceeds and she elects to sit in silence. Partially because she doesn’t know what to offer that could even remotely resemble anything useful, partially because she stubbornly doesn’t want to offer any ideas. They didn’t care to listen to her before, why should now be any different?
“Isn’t it possible that Horde Prime could just be coming here to get his brother?” Perfuma proposes, because it seems like everyone else is having a hard time with coming up with ideas too. It’s not just Catra. “And in that case…shouldn’t we just…let him?”
Entrapta’s face falters at that and Catra rolls her eyes. She’s not touching that with a ten foot pole.
“Um. And what do you think will happen once he gets Hordak, and Hordak tells him about how we’ve been keeping him prisoner for the last six months?” Thankfully Catra doesn’t need to say it, Mermista is also capable of shooting down ridiculous ideas. “And then they’re both super pissed, and we don’t have She-Ra or the Heart of Etheria to defend ourselves?”
You’d have She-Ra if you never used the Heart to begin with. Catra wants to say, but she bites her tongue.
“Okay, why don’t we take a ten minute—five minute breather,” Angella suggests, “Entrapta, would it be possible to get an updated estimate on Prime’s anticipated arrival?”
The group breaks out at that, but not many people go anywhere. Everyone is upset with everyone it seems.
Good.
Personally, Catra’s had enough. She’s not going to stick around and just stare blankly at the ground for five minutes.
“Catra!” Adora calls after her and honestly, what did she expect?
Things are still…tense. They haven’t really spoken. Not since they fell asleep intertwined together. Adora had eventually passed out from sheer exhaustion while Catra was so worried about what could’ve happened-or what is about to happen that she didn’t get much sleep. She had been tempted to wriggle out of Adora’s grasp and wander around the castle, perhaps go up to the spire and see the stars again, but…she couldn’t leave Adora to wake up by herself when she was already in such a vulnerable state.
That would just be cruel.
But they didn’t speak in the morning. Adora tried, Catra told her they’d be late for the meeting and reminded her that they should talk later. Admittedly, she was just delaying the inevitable but still…she didn’t think that later would mean in the five minute break they have.
She heaves a great sigh. Remembering to take deep breaths, to try to not let the anger overpower her, to be better than the person she used to be. She can’t be that angry, spiteful bruise anymore. She has to be better.
“Please, Catra,” Adora grabs her hand, voice urgent, “I know you’re mad but-“
Mad? No, Catra isn’t mad. She’s not mad, she’s not letting herself be mad right now, she’s working so hard to not be mad and it’s not fair for Adora to just accuse her of being mad.
“I’m not mad,” Catra refutes indignantly.
Adora eyes her skeptically, but doesn’t challenge her, “Okay. Then can we talk, please?”
“What is there to talk about?” Crossing her arms, she turns around to face Adora.
“Stop acting like this,” Adora narrows her eyes, “Like it doesn’t matter. Like you don’t care.”
“Oh? I’m the one who’s acting like she doesn’t care?” Catra scoffs, “You’re the one who ignored me! You left me, remember? You listened to Glimmer over me-“
“You heard Micah! It was our best option with the information we had.”
“Don’t bring him into this,” Catra snaps, more venom in her tone than she intends. There’s a line there that can’t be crossed. Adora doesn’t get to use Micah against her.
“What, so it’s all my fault that this happened?” Adora asks in disbelief. “I’m not the only one who was involved!”
“Trust me, I know,” Catra glowers.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that everybody left, Adora! Everyone except for Angella-who, by the way, got possessed by whatever that weird shit was yesterday and I had to just stand there and watch because I couldn’t do anything!” Catra rants, “She was hurt and I couldn’t help her-and if that’s what happened to her just because she was connected to the Moonstone, I don’t even want to know what happened to you yesterday when you tried to stop it!”
Adora’s eyes flash in guilt and it’s all the confirmation Catra needs.
“All because you just had to listen to your best friend Glimmer,” Catra just can’t stop herself from saying, feeling all of the anger build to a blinding point. But the fact that she came so close to losing Adora because of Glimmer irks her beyond compare.
“How can you say that?” Adora looks truly hurt.
“Because it’s what you always do, and you expect me to just be waiting to pick up the pieces when it all goes to shit-“
“That is not true!” Adora yells, “Do you honestly believe that? After everything?”
“Well, that's how this works, doesn’t it?” Catra matches her tone. All of that anger and confusion comes bubbling to the surface and ripping open old wounds. “You get to just go off and do whatever you want with your friends, you can blow me off and leave me behind and put yourself in danger and that’s fine, right? Because you think I’ll just be waiting for you when you come back? Because that’s all I am to you, just your lousy sidekick—”
“Seriously? This again? What more do I have to do to prove that’s not true?” Adora demands, “I don’t get why you’re acting like this, I thought we were past this, Catra!”
“You almost died because you trusted Glimmer over me!” Catra says, “Did you even care to think about me at all?”
“That’s not fair,” Adora shakes her head, “That’s not what this is, I had to protect everyone.”
“You never would’ve had to if you just listened to me in the first place! Whatever happened to us figuring things out ‘together’?” Catra sneers, “You know what, Adora? Fine. You’re right. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. Because I should’ve known you’d choose her over me. It’s what you always do.”
Adora looks like Catra might as well have slapped her across the face. The words burn Catra’s stomach, she knows they’re not entirely seeded in truth, they’re a deflection of the real issue-
Micah pokes his head out into the hallway, glancing carefully between the two of them. The intensity of the moment is shattered when he says, “We’re about to get started again.”
They both nod and he turns, closing the door behind him to give them another moment of privacy.
It’s silent and it’s crushing.
“Is that what you really think of me? Of us?” Adora asks, gesturing to the space between them.
Truthfully, Catra doesn’t want to think that. She’s mad at herself for even bringing it up. Adora’s right. She’s supposed to be past this. Supposed to be better. And maybe Adora made the right call by listening to Glimmer instead, because clearly Catra is just as angry and selfish as she’s always been.
“We should get back inside,” Catra responds with a shake of her head. Like always, she just should’ve kept her mouth shut.
“But I’m not done talking about this,” Adora frowns.
“Yeah, well, I am,” Catra turns to the door, not before delivering one final blow, “Besides, isn’t saving the universe what matters most to you?”
Catra knows she was wrong. But it doesn’t feel fair for her to be wrong in this. She isn’t the one who activated the super weapon or was reckless or just left—why can’t she be angry about those things? Why is she in the wrong because she’s angry? Is she just supposed to take everyone else’s crap? Do her own feelings not matter that much?
They haven’t reached a conclusion on what to do. Micah is in Mystacor searching for some fix-all solution that Catra is convinced doesn’t exist. Angella is—wherever Angella is. Catra can’t get that vision of her out of her mind, the way she hissed through gritted teeth for Catra to stay back.
It’s activated a fear within her that Catra hoped she had buried and taken care of. The truth is that Angella couldn’t be further from Shadow Weaver but…whatever. Her mind just went there and she didn’t want it to, she knows Angella doesn’t deserve to be compared to that monster but…it just…ugh. She couldn’t control any of it. The echoing words or ghosts of feelings that threaten to overcome her.
She’s in her room for the first time in what feels like forever. Seriously, she should probably dust in here or something, she’s already sneezed about three times. She effectively commandeered Adora’s room and made it into her own, but she needs time to herself right now. She doesn’t know how to feel, much less actually talk to Adora. She basically ran out of the Rebellion meeting, ignoring concerned looks or the way tried Scorpia to follow after her.
She’s pretty unhappy with Scorpia. It used to annoy her how Scorpia would label them as best friends or whatever, but…Scorpia kind of is her best friend. Now that it doesn’t feel forced, now that they can work or hang out together without the threat of looming failure dangling over their heads, Catra can admit that Scorpia is nice to have around. She’s positive to a fault, funny whether or not she tries to be, but most importantly Scorpia is loyal.
Or was. Until she also opted to follow Glimmer’s lead instead. None of this would’ve happened if Scorpia didn’t do some stupid weird bonding connection thing with the Black Garnet. Or if Glimmer didn’t convince her to.
The reality is that so many things went wrong. Catra doesn’t know who to blame or where to direct her anger, so she just turns it towards herself. That way it’s a little easier to control. She can be angry and upset internally. She’s capable of handling it herself, and it’s not like it’s possible for her to scare herself off with her own anger.
She’s steeped in deep thought, standing on the balcony and ignoring the presence of those stupid ass stars when Glimmer appears in the bedroom.
Catra nearly jumps out of her skin. Glimmer has some fucking audacity to even show herself right now—much less by herself. Without Bow or Adora to intervene and hold Catra back if necessary.
Which, judging by the way she feels her blood pressure spike at the sight of Glimmer, looking sad and guilty, Catra feels will be absolutely necessary.
“What do you want?” Catra hisses, feeling her fur stand on edge.
“Catra, can we talk?” Glimmer asks, trying her best to give her what she assumes are pleading eyes.
“If I say no, will you go away?” If Glimmer really cared about respecting Catra’s boundaries she would’ve knocked on the door at least. Clearly they’re going to have a conversation whether Catra wants one or not.
“You shouldn’t be mad at Adora,” Glimmer demands, “You should be mad at me.”
“Yeah, well, congrats. I’m mad at you too,” Catra narrows her eyes.
“She’s really upset. She thinks you hate her or are going to break up with her which is ridiculous,” Glimmer rants, “Just go talk to her. I tried to but…”
Catra isn’t going to go talk to Adora. Not until she can sort out all of her…feelings. But she does raise her eyebrow in question at Glimmer and her hesitation, “But what?”
“She doesn’t want to talk to me. Neither does Bow. Or anyone,” Glimmer sighs, biting her bottom lip like she just might cry. Part of Catra feels a little bit validated by that. Catra feels alone right now—either by her own design or by way of the fact everyone straight up refused to listen to her yesterday. But at least Glimmer is just as miserable.
Maybe Glimmer got her way but she most certainly didn’t win.
“Yeah well. Activating a massive weapon might make people a little upset,” Catra scoffs at her.
“Only because someone got the message sent through to Horde Prime!” Glimmer retorts and she doesn’t even have the decency to look the slightest bit remorseful.
That is exactly what Catra had been afraid of. That this was all a product of her own actions, of not doing good enough. Maybe that was fair, but she sure as shit wasn’t going to take it from Glimmer right now.
“Barely! I barely activated it! And I did it to protect everyone!” Catra is yelling now, face hot with anger.
“Yeah and so was I!”
“It’s not the same and you know it!”
“Oh no.”
“No? No?” Catra scoffs, and gives Glimmer a shove. Glimmer isn’t even looking at her—she’s looking at something behind her. Catra doesn’t care though. They’re not the same. “Get a grip!”
“Fuck,” Glimmer blurts, which is what catches Catra’s attention. She wouldn’t dare say that so loudly, not where there’s a 0.0005 chance that Angella could hear her. Catra follows her stare, turning around and looking up into the sky.
It takes a moment for her eyes to adjust. She isn’t used to seeing…all of that. All of the stars and the lights, but when she does adjust she quickly finds Glimmer’s source of worry. Catra gulps, heart sinking as she looks at the silver and green exterior of a massive, looming ship that’s quickly approaching.
Fuck is right.
They look to each other at once, eyes widening when they realize where the ship is headed.
“The Kingdom of the Snows, that’s where Hordak is,” Glimmer says, unable to keep the tremor out of her voice, “I have to stop him.”
Catra has all of five seconds to tackle Glimmer and spit out, “Not by yourself!” until she accidentally teleports both of them to the Kingdom of the Snows.
Completely unarmed. Entirely by themselves. With no plan, no escape route.
So it comes as no surprise to Catra when they both fail to do anything substantial to stop Prime from taking Hordak. The only thing the two of them manage to do in their panic-addled state is get taken right along with him.
In the blink of an eye, they’re miles away from Etheria, stranded and with only each other to blame.
But surviving is what Catra does best. She can think quickly on her feet—quicker than Glimmer, even as they watch in horror at what Horde Prime does to Hordak. The terrifying interaction tells Catra everything she needs to know. If Prime is willing to treat his ‘brother’ like that, they need to make themselves of use to him. Quickly.
It isn’t much, but she manages to convince Prime that he needs them, especially Glimmer. That he can’t destroy Etheria, not if he wants to use it as a superweapon. Selling a Horde leader on her worth is something that comes back to her naturally, like a second skin.
The way he regards her with great interest makes her stomach churn with disgust and fear. It almost feels like this is what he wanted all along, not just Hordak, but the both of them, as well. She has to swallow that feeling down, push it aside, try not to wretch at Prime’s obvious lie about seeking only peace and order.
“Are you crazy?” Glimmer shrieks when they’re alone in a new room-their bedroom. She shakes Catra in aggravation. “Why would you tell him about the Heart?”
I wouldn’t keep two sisters apart, Prime had explained with a chilling smile before showing them their quarters, I am not as brutish or cruel at my brother, you must understand. He has tainted my image, but I will see to it that he is cleansed and brought into my light once again.
Catra can still feel her skin crawl as the words replay in her mind.
“I’m keeping us alive!” Catra reminds her, “You saw what he did to Hordak!”
“Well now what are we going to do?” Glimmer asks, “We can’t get out of here! We’re in space!”
“I…” Catra sighs, pushing Glimmer’s arm off of her, “I don’t know. For now we just have to stay alive. I guess. We’re buying the Rebellion time to…to think of something to defeat Prime.”
“What are you going to do?” Glimmer’s hysterics haven’t quelled, “I’m useful to him because he needs me to get the Heart to work. Even though it can’t work without She-Ra…but you-you’re not connected to a Runestone.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Catra snaps. “But at least I have magic here. I can defend myself.”
“Are you serious?” Glimmer scoffs, “You can’t just-what, set fire to the ship! It’s sort of the only thing keeping us alive!”
“Why does everyone always think I’m going to set fire to everything?” Catra grumbles, “I’m not Seahawk.”
“Is this a joke to you?” Glimmer’s eyes are burning with emotion, “It’s not going to be long until he figures out how to work the Heart for himself! And then what happens to you?”
“Does it look like I think this is funny?” Catra returns, knot tightening in her stomach, “Look. I know how the Horde works, alright? I just have to keep myself, I don’t know, useful to him.”
“What?” Glimmer’s voice is pitched in disbelief, “You can’t seriously be considering re-joining the Horde?”
“I’m not rejoining the Horde!” Catra feels her hair stand up in irritation, her tone indignant, “Let’s just make that super fucking clear. I’m just saying, if it keeps us alive…I’ll do what I have to do.”
Rejoining the Horde—Catra can’t stomach the thought. Her face darkens, chills crawling across her skin, remembering the Fright Zone, remembering the feeling of being breathless…
“Besides, with Hordak…being reconditioned, or whatever, Prime won’t even know I left the Horde in the first place. Or got kicked out, exiled-whatever.”
“Catra,” Glimmer’s face softens in sympathy. She reaches out to touch Catra, “Listen…”
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear it,” Catra shoves her arm away. It may just be the two of them here, but that doesn’t mean Catra is happy about it or will be any easier on Glimmer for it. “I know it’s a shit plan, alright? But it’s all we have.”
She stalks over to the window, jumps on top of the sill and steadfastly ignores Glimmer’s dejected sigh. But she doesn’t stop Glimmer from taking a seat on the ledge and looking out of the window with her.
Together, the princesses of Bright Moon look across a vast, black sky littered with stars and planets. Catra thinks of Adora, wonders what she’s doing right now. Worries how quickly the Rebellion will realize that they’ve disappeared. Hopes it doesn’t crush Micah or Angella too much and prays that at the very least, someone will figure out they did not go willingly into the clutches of Prime’s grasp.
Catra leans her head back against the frame of the window. Now that all of the anger is drained from her body, all she can think about is how she’s never been this far from home before.