Chapter Text
When Larry asked him to sign up for a domestic partnership, he didn't expect to be sitting in a cab, in Canada, heading to a church to get married. He wasn't even 100% on board with the idea, to begin with, but now that they were being investigated, they had to kick it up a notch. He knows this whole marriage thing wasn't Larry's idea, but still. It's for him. And when that lawyer, Alex, recommended it... What else were they supposed to do without looking suspicious? So of course, he agreed, because he and Larry are best friends, and he loves those kids. What would happen if Larry died? What would happen to Eric and Tori? Larry's wife died, for god's sake, and they would go into foster care for sure. And of course, Larry didn't want to lose his firefighter's pension. If something happened, he wanted his kids to have a safety net to fall back on.
And Chuck owed him. He saved his life, and this was just how Larry decided to take his offer. So here they were, in a taxi, on their way to get married.
"Where we gonna do this, sweetheart?" Chuck asks, nudging Larry's knee. Ugh. Sweetheart. Gotta lay it on thick for the taxi driver. Larry doesn't respond right away, staring blankly out the window. "What's the matter, you getting cold nuts?" Larry laughs a little, bringing his full attention to Chuck.
"No, no. It's just...Paula always wanted to go to Niagara Falls, and... Never got the chance to take her, you know," Larry says, getting that same tone, the one when he talks about Paula.
"You were great to her. It's been three years already man, it's just. She would want you to be happy, she would want you to move on with your life, find somebody new, I'm tellin' you," Chuck says, trying to cheer him up a bit. Larry was never the same after Paula died, never met any new women. He always tried to push Larry to meet up with someone, take some girl out for drinks, but he always just started talking about Paula. And he knows Larry loved her, more than any person in the world, but time reaches a point when you have to move on.
"You know what, I did find somebody new," Larry swings his arm over Chuck's shoulder, "and I'm marryin' him today." Huh. I guess he's also laying it on thick. What are the chances the government talks to their taxi driver?
"Oh, yeah, what a lucky girl," Chuck says, both of them laughing.
"Queers," the taxi driver mumbles. They both stop laughing, turning their attention to him.
"What was that?" they both say at the same time.
"I said, uh, uh, tears! Your love for each other brings... tears to my eyes," the driver said, quickly saving himself.
"That's what I thought you said, buddy. Yeah. Yeah," Chuck says. They begin talking over each other, and Chuck kind of forgets who says what.
"Better watch what you say, my friend."
"Why don't you just drive the car?"
"Doug Henning. What the hell you think you're doing?"
"You want a Brooklyn beating, moron? Magic shoes. Yeah?"
"You want to get him nuts? Yeah? Smacked around?"
"Then shut your mouth. Don't, please."
"Faggots," the driver says. Anger bubble's up in Larry's stomach. Who does this guy think he is?
"All right, that's it, my man. What's that you son of a bitch?"
"Grab the wheel. Grab the wheel. Hold him down!" The car swerved as Chuck wrestles with the driver, bringing his arms up around the guy's neck. Yeah, sure, maybe he gets a bit defensive about it, especially for two straight guys, but he's gotta' act, you know? If it wasn't being directed at them, Chuck might not have even done anything, maybe even laughed a bit, but oh, how the times have changed. No one calls him or Larry names and gets away with it.
***
The wedding is... strange, to say the least. They bring in a homeless guy to act as a witness, though Chuck admits, the guys got some pretty sick moves on the dance floor. The ceremony's short, but they make sure to celebrate after, get plenty of pictures for evidence. The front desk guy is weird, but at least he doesn't have any snide comments like the taxi driver. All in all, Chuck would say it was a pretty decent wedding. But when they first walked in and made arrangements, when the guy asked if they wanted a room for 'romance'... It made Chuck feel... weird. But in a different way from what he expected. He expected to feel nothing, maybe a little grossed out, but instead, he blushed a bit, his stomach feeling funny.
Maybe it was the absurdity of the situation, maybe it was because now he was picturing having sex with Larry, thanks for that image guy, but maybe he even felt a little... Excited? No, that couldn't be it. He pushed it down as jitters, as anything else than what it actually meant. Well, because it meant nothing. Just a strange feeling after a strange day, and if anyone thought there was something behind it, then they were wrong. Chuck was able to push these thoughts to the very back of his mind, trying hard to not let them resurface. Because this was a favor, and they were both straight, so no more questions, thank you very much. Very, very, straight.
***
After the official wedding, they fell into a very domestic lifestyle. It wasn't really all that different compared to normal life. It just had extra Larry, day and night. And it was a lot harder to sleep with women. Sure, he hooked up with the kid's babysitter, Teresa, the same night of their wedding but she didn't count. She was more of a man than Larry was! As the days passed, it became more normal, waking up in the same bed as Larry, helping out with the kids, going to work. But then people found out. One day everything was regular, then everyone at the station started treating them differently.
When he tried to play basketball with some of the guys and they excluded him? That hurt. It caused his heart to ache, and a strange sick feeling started in his stomach. It was weird, to feel like that after being treated differently for being gay. Because he wasn't actually gay! He wanted to shout it at them "Hey, still straight here!" to be able to play basketball, but he couldn't. It was worse than the taxi driver because the taxi driver didn't matter to him. He was just some random, homophobic guy, and his opinion didn't matter one bit. But his friends? The guys he's worked alongside for years? The guys he went drinking with and watched football with... At least he knows how they would feel if he was actually gay. Which he isn't. But to know this is how they would act around him if he came out for real? He wouldn't come out of the closet to them if he knew what their reaction would be. In real life, that is.
Chuck is contemplating all of this before bed, sitting up against the bed frame and waiting for Larry. Just thinking about it makes his chest constrict, just the tiniest bit. He's fidgeting with a loose string of the blanket when Larry comes in, done putting the kids to bed. He stops halfway through the room, a concerned expression on his face.
"You okay, Chuck?" Chuck doesn't hear him, continuing to play with the blanket as he stares off into space. "Chuck," Larry says, speaking louder. He successfully gets Chuck's attention.
"Hm?" Chuck hums, a faraway look on his face.
"Are you okay? You have a weird look on your face."
Chuck plasters a smile on his face, nodding his head and trying to look slightly more alive. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. You're not going soft on me, are you Lar?" He says, laughing a little. Larry just shakes his head, grabbing pajamas before heading to the bathroom. Chuck decides to just get under the covers and go to bed before Larry returns. He doesn't want him to read his body language any more than he had. Especially since nothing was going on. It's just, Larry could be pushy if something were wrong. And Chuck was tired. He just wanted to sleep without anyone bothering him. Yeah. That's why.
He's still wide awake when Larry comes back in the room, stirring a little when his weight shifts the bed. He falls into an uncomfortable sleep, tossing and turning until his brain allows him some rest, not quite pushing the strange thoughts and feelings of the day out of his head.
***
Chuck felt exhausted in the morning. He was usually tired most days, and on top of his terrible night of sleep, he felt he could drop dead any second. He figured it was also because of the kids. Usually, after work, he'd go home, relax, drink, sleep with one of the many women he would bring home. But he couldn't do that anymore. One of the kids always needed help with homework, or chores would need to be done, and there was just always something to do. He wondered how long they would need to keep this up. Though he was more of a "one-night stand" guy, he thinks he eventually wants to settle down. Have a wife and kids of his own. And sure, sometimes he thought of Larry's kids as his own, but it wasn't the same. He was just Uncle Chuck to them, and yes, they might start seeing him as a father now, but this wasn't real. But they don't know that.
Today is Career Day at school, and so he'd be going to work alone. He's not sure he wants to face his coworkers alone, but he thinks it would be weird for him to show up to Career Day. This game of pretend would feel too much like reality. So, begrudgingly, he goes to the station alone, totally not in the mood to deal with anyone's homophobic bullshit.
He walks in, letting out a long yawn. He caught a glance of himself in the mirror this morning, and he knew he still looked like shit. Bags were starting to form under his bloodshot eyes. Seriously, if someone bothered him today, he was seriously considering murder. He was hoping to god no one decided to catch their house on fire today. Living in Brooklyn, there was usually something most days, even if it was mundane. When there wasn’t, they'd make sure the station and truck were in tip-top shape, or go and play basketball. And if there was nothing else to do, they'd sit around, eat, talk, play cards. Anything to pass the time really. He heads to the locker room, regretting it instantly when he opens the door. "Hey there, Chuck. Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"
Chuck lets out a long groan, rubbing his eyes in frustration. Fucking Renaldo. He had been acting the worst out of all of them. "What do you want, Renaldo?" he says, walking over to his locker.
"Woh ho! Larry keep you up late last night?" Some of the other guys in the room chuckled at the remark. Chuck ignores him, focusing hard on opening his locker and not punching anyone in the face. He gets his combination wrong. Jesus Christ, he's so fucking tired. He tries again, and when his locker doesn't open, he slams his fist against it hard, yelling "Fuck!"
After that, the other guys divert their attention from him. Smart of them. But Renaldo... Not so smart. "Jeez, Chuck, must have been good if you can't even remember your combination!" In any other context, Chuck would take it as a friendly jab. Especially if it was about a woman. But it wasn't, and Chuck could hear the snideness in his voice. Chuck turns on him, locker forgotten. He gets closer, pointing a finger up at his face, the other hand clenched tightly by his side.
"I swear to god if you say one more thing, I'm gonna punch you in the face. Shut up," he says threateningly. Renaldo puts his hands up, surrendering.
"Okay, okay! Just teasing!"
Chuck scoffs under his breath, turning away with a shake of his head. "Sure. Teasing," he mumbles to himself. This time, he gets the combination right, shoving his things quickly inside before slamming it shut. He leaves the room, shooting daggers at everyone, challenging them to "tease" him. No one says anything, avoiding his gaze. At least they don't think he can't still kill them just because he's gay. He hopes Larry's day is going better.
***
Apparently, Larry's day went worse. First, the kids badgered him with all sorts of questions about his sexuality-the stupid teacher doing barely anything to stop it- and then Steve tried excluding him from helping out with boy scouts and baseball. So, Larry rammed Steve into a wall, and Eric punched a kid in the dick. So, Chuck decided not to tell Larry about Renaldo.
Before coming home, Chuck stopped by the convenience store to pick up some sleeping pills. He would get a good night's sleep, even if Larry had to hit him over the head with a frying pan. He got a few other things that he remembered they needed around the house. As he was bringing the things up to the check-out counter, he froze. He looked at the stuff in his cart. Toilet paper, toothpaste, hand soap, shampoo, floss... Oh god, he really was living the married life. And that hit him like a freight train. Before, he was just a guy helping out his buddy, but now, he was being Larry's husband. Husband. The word floated around in his head. Sure, Alex referred to them that way before, and so had a few others, but now he was really taking in the word. And it felt weird, doing these things, these small mundane tasks, that he always thought of as acting, with the word husband in his head. This was all starting to feel too real, too normal. And when people poked fun, it was starting to feel more personal, taking a greater toll on his emotions. And he shouldn't be taking these things to heart because this was all fake, fake fake fake, and the disrespectful things people say about him and his husband (oh god, he did NOT just call Larry his husband) shouldn't be cutting so deep. Why was he thinking so hard about these things? Why did it affect him so much? Why? Wh-
"Excuse me, sir?" a voice said from behind him. Chuck coughed, giving himself a shake to bring him back to the present. He turned his head to see an older woman behind him. She gave him a reproachful look before speaking again. "You're blocking the aisle."
"Oh," Chuck said flustered, heat rising on his cheeks. He pushed his cart to the side of the aisle, clearing the way. "Must have spaced out there. Sorry, Ma'am." She went to pass him but paused.
"Are you okay, dear? You look awfully pale," she questioned, reproachful look turning to concern.
"Uh, no, I'm fine. Just a little dehydrated," he assured, noticing the disbelieving look in her eyes. He tried his best to give her a reassuring smile. "Really. I'm fine."
"Okay. Have your wife look over you when you get home," she nodded towards his ring, "you look sick." He looked at his ring, heat returning to his face.
"Husband," he muttered under his breath.
"What?"
He looked back up at her, shaking his head. "Nothing. Have a good day." And with that, he pushed his cart to the check-out, putting his stuff on the counter hurriedly. Once everything was paid for, he rushed out to his car, throwing everything in the back seat before getting inside, slamming the door closed. He was breathing heavily, his heart beating fast. Why was this all making him act so weird? Who cares if she thought he had a wife! He was wearing a wedding ring for Christ's sake, and wasn't mostly everyone straight? Gay marriage wasn't even legal, of course, she thought he was straight. Wait. He looked at himself in the review mirror. Not thought. He was straight. He took a few deep breaths, calming himself before he put his keys in the ignition. He was about to pull out when someone knocked sharply at his window. He jumped in his seat, startled. Outside his car, Alex was leaning down, looking at him through the window, smiling. He rolled down the window, putting on a fake smile.
"Hey, Alex!"
"Hi, Chuck! Where are you headed right now?"
"I'm just about to go home, needed to pick some stuff up at the store. Why?"
"My brother and I were going to a gay bar tonight, but he canceled on me. Would you like to come instead? Larry can come if he wants," she offered, looking at him hopefully. He shook his head, trying to look apologetic.
"Ah, sorry, I don't think I can. I had a really long day, and I'd just like to go home. I can see if Larry would go with you?" he suggested.
"Oh, that's okay. I'll see if any of my friends can go. Are you doing anything this weekend?" she asked. Chuck thought, scanning his mind for any plans that Larry might have told him.
"No, I don't think so. What did you have in mind?"
"I have some shopping to do, but we can grab lunch together?" Chuck smiled at her, this one more genuine. He liked Alex. She seemed to be the only one on their side during this (even though she was their lawyer, she kind of had to be), and he liked spending time with her.
"What the hell, okay!" Chuck exclaimed. Now he had something to look forward to.
"I'll send you the address and time. I gave you my number before, right?"
"Yes, you did. I'll see you then!"
"See you then!" Alex said, excitement in her voice. She stepped back from the car, and Chuck rolled up his window, pulling the car out of his spot and driving away. He gave her a wave before turning his eyes back to the road. If he weren’t supposed to be Larry's husband, he thinks he would definitely try and get with her. The possibility of catching feelings didn't make itself known. She was hot, that's for sure, but he thinks he would rather just spend time with her, be a friend. Jeez, Chuck thought, blinking to himself in the mirror.
"What's happening to me? Spending time with a pretty woman just to be her friend?" he spoke aloud to himself. He laughed, silencing himself quickly. He probably looked crazy, talking and laughing to himself.
***
When he got home, Larry and the kids were already there. Larry glanced over his shoulder from where he stood in the kitchen, making dinner. "Where you been, Chuck?" Chuck put the bags on the counter, taking the stuff out to put them away.
"I stopped by the store to get some things and ran into Alex. She invited me to lunch this weekend. We’re not doing anything, right?" Chuck asked, bringing the things to the bathroom.
"Nope," Larry called back to him. When he was back in the kitchen, he noticed the tenses of Larry's shoulders.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," Larry said, absentmindedly. "tough crowd at career day."
"Oh. Almost forgot about Career Day. What'd the kids say?" Chuck moved to the fridge, pulling out two beers for both of them.
"They asked... questions," Larry said, abruptly clearing his throat. "And Steve, uh. Kind of kicked me off boy scouts." Chuck almost dropped the beers, barely containing his fury. "And baseball," Larry added, whispering. Ugh, that jackass Steve!
"What'd he do that for?" Chuck yelled in disbelief. He already knew the answer, he was just angry.
"It's fine, Chuck. And, uh," Larry said something else, but he mumbled, and Chuck couldn't hear him.
"What?"
Suddenly, Eric piped up from where he and Tori were sat at the table, doing their homework. "Dad kicked Steve's ass!"
"Hey! Watch your language!" Larry said sternly to Eric. He spoke again, silently, making sure the kids couldn't hear them. "He was sayin' stuff about Eric."
"Oh."
Chuck cracked open the beers, handing one to Larry. "Watcha' making?" he asked, changing the subject of the conversation.
"Spaghetti."
Chuck groaned, overexaggerating a shoulder slump. "Again? We've had pasta, like, every night this week!" Though he was turned away, Chuck was sure Larry was rolling his eyes at him.
"This is only the second time. Now, unless you want to step up and back something, you can shut up and go help the kids with their homework," Larry retorted. Chuck hmphed before going over to the kids. His day was already feeling better. He could get used to this.
***
That night, Chuck took a few sleeping pills and woke up feeling refreshed and a lot less groggy than usual. The day was going okay, that is until they had to shower after a call. When they first entered the shower room, everyone was laughing and talking, until he and Larry entered. After they noticed they were in there, everyone faced away from them and stopped talking with each other. He tried walking in with as much confidence as he could muster, but it felt awful. He wanted to slap everyone in there. They each took their respectable showers, trying to ignore everyone as they washed. Everything seemed fine, maybe a little tense, until one of the guys dropped their bar of soap, causing it to slide towards the middle of the room. He cried a dramatic "NO" before trying to steal the soap of the person next to him. They fought over it for a few seconds before that one fell too, leaving them without soap. That's not true, Chuck thought, they have soap. They're just being homophobic.
I mean what did they think this was, prison? And marriage means you devoted to the person you're fucking married to, so they should have no problem. Chuck was about to say something when the new guy Duncan came in. He noticed the two bars of soap on the ground and the odd looks everyone was giving Chuck and Larry, so he took the shower in the center of the room. He made a show of really sudsing himself up and bending down. He really took the cack when he started singing. Chuck wondered what it was all about, sticking up for them without even saying anything, but he was thankful for it. Everyone had been wary of Duncan. He was a pretty scary guy, and Chuck was thankful to have him on their side. No one would mess with them as much if they had him backing them up.
After the showers, before everyone left for the day, Captain Tucker called both of them into his office. Chuck felt a bit queasy in the stomach, already guessing what the Captain wanted to talk to them about. He went on about how he didn't need the pension Department pissing up his leg, and the stress "you two bozos" were causing him. Of course, out of everyone, Chuck had expected him not to believe they were actually gay. For now, he said he wouldn't do anything to get them in trouble, but that if he was asked anything, he wouldn't lie. Chuck fully took into consideration how many people they might be putting in trouble with their scheme.
When he dismissed them, Chuck was practically shaking. His hands were clammy, his throat was dry, and he was fully regretting this. Everyone else on their shift has gone home, so it's mostly just them as they get their stuff and head to the car, so Chuck deems it safe to ramble. "What are we gonna do, Larry? He's going to tell the department, we're gonna go to jail, and the situation for the kids will be even worse than if you died!" Chuck threw his stuff in the backseat and went to the passenger's side, speaking to Larry over the car. "Do we need to up the gay? Do you think we still have a chance to convince him this is real?" Larry got in the car, snorting at his question.
"How are we supposed to do that? When I put my hand on your knee at the lawyer's office, you almost killed me!" Larry was trying to sound amused, but Chuck could hear the worry in his voice. They so did not need someone fucking up their plan.
"Then what do we do, Lar?" Chuck asked in a patronizing tone. Larry huffed angrily, putting the keys in the ignition.
"I don't know! You're going to lunch with Alex, right? Ask her what we can do to get the Department off our back. If we don't have them sniffing around anymore, then there isn't a risk of Tucker spilling the beans."
Chuck took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll do that," he said to no one in particular. He kept his mouth shut for the rest of the ride home, trying to push the panic from his mind. Larry dropped him off, leaving to pick up the kids. Once Chuck was inside, he poured himself a glass of water, the shakiness of his hands almost causing him to drop the cup. He drank it slowly at the dining room table, trying to force himself to relax. God, this was taking a huge toll on his mental health. Just remember, this was all for the kids. For the kids.
***
Chuck was glad it was finally the weekend. He got a text from Alex early Saturday morning. He was excited to finally do something with someone other than Larry or the kids. He'd hung out with her a few times, and she was fun to be around. She sent the address to her apartment, saying that he would leave his car there and she would drive them around the city. She lived in a part of Brooklyn that he had only been to a few times, so hopefully, people wouldn't recognize him there. Ever since the pension department started investigating their partnership, they were sort of becoming small-town celebrities. They had already gotten a few letters from various LGBTQ+ people enraged that the department didn't think their marriage was legitimate. He was happy for the support, but he really wanted to go unbothered today, just enjoy lunch and Alex's company.
They went to a small Chinese restaurant for lunch, Alex's favorite place to get take-out. Chuck got some pork dumplings and some Lo Mein since that's what he always got when he ordered Chinese food. He didn't want to ruin the mood, but he really needed some advice from her to get the Department of his and Larry's back. He took the opportunity when she asked how he and Larry had been.
"Oh, yeah, we've been great. It's a little hard at work with the department and the guys and whatever, but we're okay." Chuck didn't want to outwardly ask for help, he thought that would be too suspicious.
"Ugh!" Alex grunted in disgust. "I really wish they would just leave you alone! I mean how hard is it to believe that two men can be together? What do they need for proof, a sex tape?" She pushed her food around with her chopsticks, seeming to be in deep thought. "I'm not sure what you can do. You just got to wait and hope they don't take you to court. I mean, as long as Fitzer doesn't catch you having sex with a woman, they have literally no reason to do anything! And you're obviously not going to, so what's the point of poking around?" Chuck nearly choked on a dumpling at her comment. He had slipped up a few times, going to the most obscure side of the city to find some chick that wouldn't recognize him. But only a few.
"He's probably investigating because we're not stereotypical gay guys like he expects," Chuck remarked. "He's not the only one. Our Captain doesn't believe us either."
"You're right! Just because you don't conform to what people think you should be like, doesn't mean you're any less valid! And your Captains not backing you up either? If he did, that could give you guys some leeway against the Department. Why doesn't he believe you, anyway?" she asked, eating a piece of sushi. Chuck froze, brain racing for an excuse. He flustered, taking a sip of water to give him more time to come up with something.
"Oh, you know. He's always known us to be with women. Especially me. Before Larry, I was quite the lady's man," he joked.
"Really?" she said in disbelief. Oh no. Now he would have to explain more.
"Uh, yeah. It always felt... fine, so I didn't think there was a possibility of being gay." He hoped he sounded convincing enough. He had done a bit of research on people who didn't come out until later in life. He was copying the exact words from this interview he saw about this gay, 60-year-old principal who ended up divorcing his wife.
"Huh," she said thoughtfully, taking a long sip of her lemonade. "Maybe you're bisexual." After that, she continued eating like she expected him to know what she meant.
"What's bisexual?" he asked. She gave a short bark of laughter.
"What? What's so funny?"
She shook her head in amusement, gripping the table hard while trying to contain herself. "You really don't know much about the community, do you?" He was about to defend himself, but she continued as he was opening his mouth. "That's okay. Some people are fine with just knowing that they love someone, despite their gender. Anyways, bisexual means you're attracted to more than one gender." He looked at her confused, clearly not getting it. "It means you might like both men and women."
Chuck paused, leaning back in his chair, a strange expression on his face. You could like more than one gender? Bisexual. The word felt so right. Before he could dwell on it longer, he realized Alex was saying something.
"What? Sorry, didn't hear you."
"I said, it could help your case. Do you think you might be bisexual? Because it could explain why everyone would think you were straight before while still defending yourself. Larry was married to a woman before, right?"
"Uh, y-yeah" Chuck stuttered.
"Well, maybe he's bisexual too."
"Maybe."
They finished their lunch in comfortable silence, Chuck mulling over what she just said in his mind. He was trying not to think about how fitting bisexual seemed to him for some reason, and more on that it could help them. They could tell everyone they were only half gay. It would explain why both he and Larry had always been with women. And Larry could admit he was married to Paula before without feeling guilty about people thinking he didn't actually love her. Chuck knew that was one of the biggest problems Larry had with the arrangement. Everyone was just thinking "Poor Paula."
After lunch, they went to a few clothing stores, Chuck helping Alex pick out a few things. He animated himself through it, making himself not look like he was having an existential crisis. He managed to start enjoying himself again, pushing "bisexual" to the very back of his mind. And he happily obliged to Alex's invitation to go back to her apartment.
***