Chapter Text
Jungkook remembers that day like it was yesterday.
Hyungseung's sorrowful face has been burned into the back of his eyelids at this point, pulled and etched with unformidable sadness of what was to come. Jungkook can't explain the very feeling that lived in his chest that day. Upon hearing the news, news that he couldn't even begin to fathom, Jungkook had laughed, right in his boyfriend's face. He had begged Hyungseung to stop joking. That this sick joke wasn't even remotely fucking funny and asked that he never do it again. But Hyungseung didn't answer. He didn't say anything at all. He just stared at Jungkook, his cellphone limply dangling from his pale hand.
It was just a checkup. It was supposed to be a fucking checkup. Hyungseung had complained of a nauseous feeling in his stomach, a faint dizziness that lingered in the front of his head, but the weather of Seoul had constantly been fluctuating and so, it was easy to pass the symptoms off as being of a cold. Jungkook would have never guessed that there was a small lump, one so small that it was easy to miss, growing inside of Hyungseung.
Cancer, the doctor said.
Despite it's size, they had done everything that they could. Even when the hospital bills started to pile up, ominous and ready to drop them head first into debt, Jungkook quit art school. He picked up three different jobs and not once did he complain. When Hyungeung had begged him to stop giving up on his dreams, to go back to school because it was pointless to keep paying for treatment that wouldn't save him, Jungkook did not complain.
Even if all of it was for nothing.
"What... What did she say?" Jungkook had asked, his bottom lip wobbling as tears formed in his big, doe eyes. Hyungseung was scarily frigid, his face stoic, as if he had finally accepted this. As if he had come to terms with the fact that the remainder of his life was on a fast and steady timer.
"She said I had three months, maybe four, if I'm lucky."
Jungkook has never cried so hard in his life, his throat raw from his vicious screams. It didn't feel right to cry in front of Hyungseung. He had to be strong for him, unmoving and powerful in the midst of their sadness, but he had to let it out. Even when he wanted to hold out hope, because he knew that there was still the one percent chance that Hyungseung could live, that didn't deplete the other ninety-nine.
Hyungseung was dying. Jungkook's boyfriend of five years, his soulmate, his everything, only had three months to live.
So Jungkook made a plan.
One night, their designated movie night that the couple had made for themselves, Jungkook comes to the couch with a notebook in hands.
Hyungseung is a handsome man, one with a long face and pretty, heart shaped lips. His sickness has aged him quite a bit, as he is only three years Jungkook's senior but now, it looks more like six.
Hyungseung chuckles, lifting an arm so that Jungkook can curl up in his side. "What's this?" He asks, gesturing to the notebook with a soft smile.
Jungkook flips open to the first page. "I made a list, of... just some things, things that I think would be really fun for us to do."
Hyungseung sighs, squinting at the younger man with an all knowing look.
"So... a bucket list."
Jungkook scoffs, lightly shoving Hyungseung with a shameful smile. "I-I, u-uhm, no. Not a bucket list. Just some things that we haven't done yet. Things that we should do."
Hyungseung takes the notebook into his hands, reading only a few of the numbers before scoffing.
"Absolutely not Jeonggukie, I am not sky diving, nor am I zip lining. Do you want me to die sooner?"
Jungkook chokes on his spit, giving a pained groan as Hyungseung cackles at his expense.
"Not funny hyung."
Hyungseung pulls Jungkook in for a gentle, chaste kiss, pulling back just enough to rest their foreheads together.
"I'm sorry baby, but that's a hard pass. I'll watch you do it though."
Jungkook hums, squeezing a fistful of Hyungseung's shirt into his fist.
"We don't have to do any of these. It was just... a stupid idea I guess. I don't know. I think I've been watching too many of those young romance movies. I'm sorry. I'm just gonna―"
"Babe, Gukkie wait."
Hyungseung pulls Jungkook back into him, kissing the younger man's dark hair before fixing him with an endeared look.
"It's not stupid. Honestly, I've been thinking about some things, things that I want to do before..."
It goes without saying. They don't actually talk about the future in that way. Jungkook can't even think of the word death unless he wants to have a mental breakdown, unable to function as he locks himself into the bedroom for the rest of the night.
Jungkook practically jumps in his seat, beaming so brightly as he nearly chucks the notebook across the room. Hyungseung follows it with his eyesight, chuckling deeply when Jungkook presses his hands against his cheeks, smashing their lips into a sweet, simple kiss.
"Hyung fuck my list! I want to do what you want to do. Tell me, what's on your list."
Hyungseung hums against Jungkook's lips, kissing him deeper as he tugs their bodies downward, Jungkook now lying on top of him. Hyungseung's hands come up to card through Jungkook's long, luscious black locks, the ends tinged blue from a previous dye job. Hyungseung looks almost like himself again, smiling so wide that his eyes shape into the prettiest of crescent moons. Jungkook's heart falls to his stomach when the smile fades all too suddenly, Hyungseung's eyes now downcast and solemn.
"Hyungie, what's wrong? You're not smiling anymore..." He whispers softly.
Hyungseung looks up, a deep wrinkle forming in between his brows.
"Did I ever tell you about my parents?" Hyungseung asks.
Jungkook raises a brow, gently resting his head against Hyungseung's chest. The older man's heartbeat is shallow and calm, but thumping nonetheless, the sound infiltrating Jungkook's being at his very core.
"You told me that you grew up in foster care, is that not true hyung?"
Hyungseung sighs beneath him, his hand slipping underneath Jungkook's t-shirt to rub against his skin.
"I... did... but, my birth parents, they were young when they had me and my twin brother and so―"
"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Twin brother? Hyung you have never told me anything about a twin brother."
"That's because I didn't know, Gukkie. But when my foster parents died, I was fortunate enough to have found a way back on my feet, and I wanted to know more about who they were. So... I called the agency and, they told me that my parents had only wanted contact with me if I reached out first. They didn't want to cause any problems in my life or anything like that, but they had said that they wanted to meet me."
Jungkook is in shock, to say the least. His eyes are blown wide as he sits up against Hyungseung's chest.
"Hyung, I... I don't know what to say. Why... why didn't you want to meet them?"
Hyungseung shrugs, seemingly disappointed in himself. Jungkook immediately feels remorse for making the other man feel that way.
"I don't... I don't really know. I guess I was afraid... What if they didn't like what I had become? I mean, before I quit my job to go through chemo, all I did was work in a fucking office. I had given my life away just to sit in a fucking chair on my computer all goddamn day and now I'm dying and I have nothing to show for my―"
"Hyung."
Jungkook cries, his fists clenching at the fabric of Hyungseung's shirt, tears falling down his cheeks at an alarming rate. He gives a deep exhale as he breathes into the crook of his boyfriend's neck.
"Hyung... I'm sorry... I wasn't trying to―"
"I know..." Hyungseung whispers, smoothing a hand down his pale face as he struggles to hold it together. He takes in a withered breath, pulling Jungkook even tighter against his chest.
"I was just scared that when they saw me, they would be disappointed."
Jungkook frowns deeply, peering up at Hyungseung with true, genuine affliction.
"Hyung, you are not a disappointment. You are one of the kindest, most amazing people that I have ever known in my life. You are beautiful, inside and out, and no offense, but if your parents are disappointed in you when they don't even know you because of the choices that they made, then you don't need them, and they don't deserve you."
Jungkook doesn't even understand how Hyungseung can fix his lips to utter the word disappointment. Hyungseung doesn't even come close to such a thing. His boyfriend has always gone above and beyond to make others happy, even if that means that he had to disregard his own happiness. Hyungseung gave his all to every relationship that he had, and he deserves the best things in life.
It isn't fair that a good person like him has to die, when there are so many cruel people on this planet that deserve a fate much worse.
Hyungseung doesn't seem convinced, but he doesn't want to argue anymore, his body wearing out much quicker than it used to.
"I do still, want to meet them, I mean. I want to meet them and, I just want to know why they did it, you know? Why they gave me and Hoseok up for adoption."
Jungkook's expression falls.
"Hoseok?" He asks, confused and needing clarification. Hyungseung nods.
"My twin brother, that's his name. Hoseok. We've been talking actually, for a few months."
"Oh." Jungkook murmurs, a bit hurt by the fact that his boyfriend had not mentioned this before. The two have never cared for keeping secrets, but this is clearly something that his boyfriend had been struggling with. Jungkook owes it to him, to be graceful in his understanding.
Hyungseung picks up on it immediately, cupping Jungkook's cheek before kissing his slightly hooked nose. Jungkook's nose had always been one of Hyungseung's favorite features, that, and his big beautiful brown eyes. Jungkook's eyes always seem to have stars in them, glistening bright and shining so perfectly. Full of hope.
Hyungseung is hanging on, just so that he can see those stars for as long as possible.
"I didn't say anything because... I didn't know how he would receive me. Sometimes, when you're adopted, you think it might be easier to just forget about the past, so that you don't get attached and all but... Hoseok is really cool. He's big in the dance world and him and I have been talking about meeting up one day. I think... I think that's what I want, Jungkookie."
The pain soon ebbs away. Jungkook's heart fluttering as his smile widens.
"I want what you want hyung, and if that's what you want, to meet your parents and your brother, then I want to be there for you, if that's alright with you."
Hyungseung gives the younger man a very serious look, one that startles Jungkook before suddenly, his sides are being tickled relentlessly, the two men giggling loudly until their lips become smothered with kisses, Jungkook's moans spilling into Hyungseung's mouth with no remorse.
"Of course baby. I wouldn't want it any other way."
That night, Jungkook and Hyungseung touch each other for the first time in months, their kisses soft and their touches warm, so warm, that it is easy to forget what is to come.
The trip to Gwangju from Seoul is only three hours, but it feels so much shorter when you are too nervous to think of anything else.
Jungkook manages to take a few photographs of the sights, tilting his camera to Hyungseung who manages to take his mind off of his fears for a while. They kiss and they laugh. They sing to their favorite songs on the radio and they take a quick lunch before finishing the drive.
Hyungseung's parents' house is simple, but nice. It isn't ginormous and overly complex, but it is pretty, and the architecture is made of pretty, earthy tones.
Hyungseung stares at the house for quite some time, swiveling from side to side in his seat, as if he is trying to get comfortable, even if they're about to get out of the car.
Jungkook may be young, but he isn't naive. He can sense his boyfriend's anxieties, hell, he reeks of insecurity and fear. But this isn't just about meeting his parents for the first time.
"Do you... do you want them to know? About... about us?" Jungkook nervously mumbles, picking at his nails as he chips away at their black paint. The ink on his knuckles is beginning to fade. On his wrist, is Hyungseung's and his initials, joined together by a tiny x. He's going to make sure to get that touched up before... before.
Hyungseung seems to huff, his hand finding Jungkook's before he weaves their fingers together.
"If they don't accept my feelings for you, then they don't accept me." He states firmly, looking at Jungkook with the utmost conviction. The younger man can't help but to smile, leaning across the center console to place a soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips. Hyungseung hums into the kiss, pulling back just so that he can look down.
"But I don't... I don't want them to know about my illness. When I'm ready, I'll tell them, but right now, I just want them to get to know me, not my disease."
Jungkook nods so fast that he feels dizzy, squeezing Hyungseung's hands before kissing him one last time.
"I get it. I won't say anything. I promise."
The two men get out of the car before they grab their belongings. Suitcases filled with their whole lives, supplying them with all the things that they need for the next month and a half. They don't know how long they're staying, but no matter what happens, all that matters is that it is Hyungseung, who decides their fate. Until his very last breath, the end of his life.
No matter how much Jungkook tries to mentally prepare himself, he is not ready.
It seems as though as soon as Jungkook blinks, they are at the front door, Hyungseung's finger tip hovering over the doorbell. Jungkook giggles sadly, knocking his shoulder against Hyungseung's in a playful manner.
"Babe, just ring it. They wanted you here. No need to be afraid."
Hyungseung gives a deep sigh, steadying himself as he tips his head back, his nose in the air with pride.
"Right. You're right. I'm gonna press it."
"Okay."
...
"I'm gonna press it."
"Hyung."
The doorbell rings, and both Hyungseung and Jungkook hold their breaths, raucous laughter emanating from beyond the frame.
"Just a second!"
Suddenly, the door swings back to reveal a tall, slender man, one with thickly framed glasses and a long, wrinkled face. Just behind him, is a woman smaller in stature, one with shoulder length brown hair, pulled back into a low bun and peppered with gray.
Hyungseung is a perfect mix of both of them.
"Hyu... Hyungseung?" The man says, tears welling in his eyes as he places a shaky hand against his trembling lips.
Hyungseung starts to weep, Jungkook silently panicking beside him before his boyfriend nods.
"Hi Appa. Hi Eomma."
Jungkook doesn't feel like he belongs here.
He is happy that Hyungseung is happy, his parents practically leaping over the whole 'awkward phase' and accepting him with open arms. Trust and believe, Jungkook wants this, and he wants his boyfriend to feel warm and welcome, but the younger man had just expected to be more useful than he is in this moment.
"And, Jungkook, is it? Where are you from?" Jung Jaehyun, Hyungseung's father asks.
"Ah..." Jungkook shamefully twiddles his thumbs, even more uncomfortable than before now that the spotlight is on him. "Busan."
Hyungseung squeezes his hand, smiling at him proudly as he knows the restraints of the younger man's social anxiety. For Jungkook to say anything it at all, is a huge accomplishment.
"And how did you two meet?" Hyungseung's mother asks kindly, Jung Handong.
Jungkook looks to Hyungseung, hoping that his boyfriend takes the reigns of the conversation which, he does. Jungkook couldn't be more grateful.
Fuck, is he lucky or what.
"Jungkook and I met at a bar actually. I was out with some of my coworkers from the company, and the bar had hired Guk to take pictures for their website. He's super talented, one of the best artists that I know."
Jungkook blushes, smiling softly to himself as he stares down at his full plate of food. He can't bring himself to eat anything, as he doesn't know if his stomach will be able to keep it down.
Handong coos. "You're a photographer Jungkook-ssi? I would love to see some of your work sometime!"
"Uh... I... yeah. Sure."
Jungkook knows that this is all in his head, but for whatever reason, all of this seems so inappropriate. So wrong. He wants to be there for his boyfriend, but right now he just feels as though he is getting in the way of what their relationship could be. Jungkook shouldn't be here, and at the same time, he's supposed to be.
Like a gift from up above, the doorbell rings, Jungkook bolting upright as he beelines it to the door, as if he owned the damn place.
"I'll get it!" He shouts, throwing open the door before his heels skid to a stop.
Because standing at the front door to the Jung household, is one of the most beautiful men that Jungkook has ever laid his eyes upon.
What seems like an episode of the Twilight Zone is clearly, happening in real time, and in front of Jungkook is a man that looks almost exactly like his boyfriend, but... different.
The man at the door is tall and slim, his face long and his lips in the shape of a heart as he gleams. His hair is the color of fire, just like the light in his pretty, almond shaped eyes. The man has fair, pretty skin, his heightened cheekbones practically glowing, caressed with the prettiest pinks of roses and carnations.
Jungkook feels like he is about to throw up.
"Hi! Uhm, who are you?" The man asks, the tone of his voice quite cheerful and bright, even if his question could be deemed as impolite. Jungkook knows that the answer to his question is simple, and yet, he doesn't know what the answer is.
"Uh... I'm? Jeon Jungkook?"
The man snorts, giggling melodically with a voice that sounds as if it were born from the sun's rays.
"Ah... okay? Are you here for my parents or something...?"
Jungkook's brows nearly meet his hairline, his jaw dropping as he starts to stutter like an idiot.
"Y-Your, your parents? N-No, this is my boyfriend's parents' h-house―"
"Hoseok?" Jungkook recognizes Hyungseung's voice, echoing from the kitchen. Jungkook turns back to the man at the doorstep, Hoseok, as Hyungseung had said once before.
Jung Hoseok... his boyfriend's identical twin brother.
Fuck.
"Holy... Hyungseung! Or... hyung I guess? Well I mean you're literally only a minute older so I think we're even."
Hyungseung laughs heartily, stopping just short of reaching the other man, his twin of all people.
Yeah, Jungkook feels like he is definitely in the Twilight Zone.
"Uhm... I... Can I... like?" Hyungseung doesn't say complete sentences, holding his arms out to the side as if he is asking for a hug.
Hoseok scoffs, pulling Hyungseung in so fast that Jungkook can't help but to wince. Still, Hyungseung doesn't seem like he is in any pain. Jungkook might cry if he thinks about it any longer.
"Wow..." Hoseok says aloud, pulling back as he thoroughly examines every part of Hyungseung that he can.
"This is freaky... this is some freaky shit... I mean, you're really good looking. Shit I mean, is that conceited of me to say? Since, well... you know."
Hyungseung laughs so loud that Jungkook feels as though he can fly. It's the kind of laughter that makes your ribs ache in the most delightful way.
Hyungseung is laughing like himself again.
"I'm not sure, but I'll take it either way. I never realized that my ears were so big. Jungkookie, why didn't you tell me that I have the ears of an elf?"
Hoseok gasps at Hyungseung's jab, lightly slapping his shoulder as he chuckles.
"Hey. Our ears are cute."
Just then, a man comes up behind Hoseok, a small man with pale skin and dark black hair, swooped and curled just below a beanie that has... cat ears?
What in the hell...
The new addition to the group looks up at Hyungseung shortly, thinking nothing of him until he does a double take. He looks at Hyungseung, glances over at Jungkook, and then turns to Hoseok. He repeats the pattern maybe, three times? Jungkook isn't too sure, but it feels like a three stooges moment, and like an episode of the Twilight Zone, a very weird crossover.
"Oh absolutely the fuck not. I thought you two were fucking fraternal. I can barely deal with one Hoseok I will not tolerate two goddammit."
Hoseok laughs over the last part of that sentence, slapping the man a little too hard in the shoulder. Even in his feeble attempt to cut the man off, Hoseok completely fails and Hyungseung is stunned in silence. Jungkook still feels like he might puke.
"This is Min Yoongi and I promise you, he's just joking. Hyung, this is Hyungseung, my twin."
The man, Yoongi, a man with delicate features and a deep voice that completely contrasts with them, scoffs. He sighs softly before bowing in greeting, stiff and curt.
"It's a pleasure. Hoseok I'm saying hi to your parents and them I'm leaving. Hopefully they give me more cake like last time." Yoongi says before making his way in between the group. Hoseok shakes his head in dismay, scratching the back of his neck as his smile widens.
"Yoongi-hyung is really awesome when you get to know him, I swear. He's just... he's weird with new people."
"Ah, yeah, me too." Jungkook agrees, not knowing why he chose this moment in particular to speak up. It's kind of too late to take it back though.
Hyungseung giggles before kissing Jungkook on the cheek.
"Hoseok-ah, this is my boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook, this is my twin, Jung Hoseok."
Jungkook quickly bows, avoiding all eye contact with the handsome man before him. He can hear Hoseok giggle again, the sound making his stomach churn.
"Yeah, we met actually. It is very nice to meet you, Jungkook-ssi."
"Mhmm, you too." Jungkook responds, his eyes trained on the tips of his combat boots. He can feel Hyungseung shift beside him and suddenly, Jungkook is disappointed in himself for reasons that he can't explain.
"Uhm, I smell pork ribs. Why don't we go inside and get settled, yeah?" Hoseok offers, his hand softly resting against Jungkook's upper back to guide him inside. Jungkook can't help but to jump, a bit startled by the warm feeling that explodes within his chest at the contact. Hyungseung nods with a chuckle, kissing Jungkook's hair as the three of them travel back inside.
Jungkook promised himself, after hearing of Hyungseung's cancer, that he would make these last three months the best damn months of his life.
What a long three months they have ahead.