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In My Heart I See Only You

Summary:

The morning that Yashiro Nene fell out of bed, she knew that things weren't right. She felt...odd. Like she wasn't quite herself. And when she looked in the mirror that day, she realized that she was, in fact, not Yashiro Nene...not on the outside, at least.

Hundreds of kilometers away, Yugi Amane wakes up, also in a body that is not his.

Slowly, Nene and Amane realize that they are swapping bodies. And as they begin to investigate why, the reasons shock them both to their core. Will Nene and Amane each be able to protect the other from a terrible fate? Or is it already too late?

Featuring gorgeous commissioned art by gingerfox!

Notes:

Disclaimer, I don't own Nene or Amane, or any of the characters from the Hanako-kun manga and/or anime.

Hello everyone! Wherever you are, I hope you are safe and doing well.

This is my FIRST story in the Hanako-kun universe! I am a huge fan of this series (manga and anime), and I have long wanted to write something for it. When I hit on the idea of thinking about the Hanako-kun characters in a universe that was akin to something similar to Kimi no Na Wa, ideas started to come together, although you will see that there are definitely creative liberties that I have taken. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Text

Alt title text

Commissioned Artwork by gingerfox


The pinging of the alarm shook Nene into wakefulness. She opened her eyes, rolled over…

And promptly fell right onto the floor.

Her eyes shot open. She...she fell on the floor? How was she so close to the floor? Her bed?

Frantically, Nene felt around as she tried to figure out what was happening. Her hands came to rest on something soft, covered in blankets. 

Wait.

Nene sat up and turned in the direction of the something soft. As her eyes focused, she let out a gasp.

It was a... futon?

Nene didn’t sleep on a futon. Nope. She slept on a nice, Western-style bed, complete with lots of pillows and a fluffy quilt. 

“What...what the…”

“Ah! Nii-chan! You’re awake!” The door to her room slid open, and she saw a teenage boy looking down at her, grinning madly. “You shouldn’t sleep so late, nii-chan,” he said. “Breakfast is almost ready, and you’ve got to get dressed, or we’ll be late. Hurry up!” The screen slid shut, leaving Nene staring after it in disbelief.

Nii-chan??

For the first time, Nene looked down at her body, and nearly screamed in fright at what she saw:

A bare, flat chest. 
A boy’s chest. 

Nene jumped to her feet, looking down at her body. She felt something sway between her thighs as she did so, and a wave of nausea washed over her body. She didn’t dare put her hand there…

Did she?

Instead, Nene jerked the screen door to the bedroom open, looking around wildly. Where was the fucking bath? She stumbled down the hall, opening doors as she went. She saw another bedroom, and then, a pocket door that opened into a small toilet, and then, a bath. A bath with a mirror.

Nene stood in front of the mirror, breathing heavily at what she saw. 

Because she was no longer Yashiro Nene, high school senior. 

Instead, she was...a boy.

A boy with shaggy dark hair, honey-colored eyes, and a cute, yet confused face. A boy who was tall, and lanky, like he was still growing into his body. A boy with a bruise on his face, and, from what she could see, bruises on his arms, as well. Then, as Nene pulled down her sweatpants, she realized that she was also:

A boy with a penis. 

A boy with a nice-sized penis. That was currently erect and pointing right at her.

Oh, GODS.

Nene dropped to her knees on the floor... his knees? Whose knees were they, anyway? She tried to cover her face with her hair, as she liked to do when she needed to think, but she found that she couldn’t—the boy’s hair was too short, and she could only grip it tightly and yank on it in her frustration. She crawled over to the shower nozzles, and turned them on, getting the water as hot as she could. She grabbed the bathing stool and sat on it as the water poured down around her, her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands.

Wait. Too close to the...to the penis.

She tilted her head back and let the water rain down on her face instead, as she tried to sort through what was going on.

A dream? Surely, that had to be it. Did she eat something weird before going to bed the night before? Nene tried to remember. Her mother had made a typical dinner: tonkatsu, rice, miso soup, tsukemono. Nothing too weird, right?

But yet, she was stuck in this weird dream, in a boy’s body and with a penis. Nene reached to her thigh, which was covered in a soft, downy hair, and squeezed as hard as she could. She yelped at the pain...would that happen if this was a dream? Would she be able to pinch herself? Would she be able to…

The pain in her groin was suddenly overwhelming, and Nene crossed her hands over her stomach and bent over on the stool. What...what was happening now ?

She looked down at the penis, which was hard, and throbbing, and she felt like she...needed to pee?

But as a boy?
It meant she would have to...touch it.

Fuck. Nene didn’t like to swear, but this was definitely a moment that demanded it.

She pulled herself to her feet, turned to the drain, and gripped the long shaft in both her hands. She couldn’t help but shiver at touching a real penis for the first time in her life, and of fucking course it had to belong to the body that she was currently occupying. The body that was a boy’s body. 

A boy who was also pretty cute.

So...what did she do, exactly?

Nene knew that she had to aim the stream somewhere; she decided the drain was as good a place as any. She closed her eyes, and tried to relax as she felt the relief of the urine stream. She finished her business, rinsed off, and turned off the shower. She grabbed a towel, slipped it around her waist, and went back to the boy’s bedroom. There, she looked up at the wall, where she saw, hanging from the closet door, a uniform: black button-down jacket with red trim, black pants, and a white shirt to go underneath. She realized this must be the boy’s uniform, and reached up to pull it down from the closet door. As she did so, she caught a series of bruises, running down the boy’s arm. 

Nene frowned. Just what exactly had this boy been up to? Why was he…

“Come on, Nii-chan!” The boy who had greeted her first thing in the morning said—who now, she realized, looked just like the boy whose body she was inhabiting; were they twins, or something (but if so, why did the other boy call her “Big brother?” Weird). “We’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry!”

“Ah!” Nene cried, and grabbed at the uniform hanging on the wall. When it stumbled down, on top of her, the other boy laughed.

“Oh, that’s you, Nii-chan,” the boy said, “such a damn klutz, always.” He winked at Nene conspiratorially, and Nene felt her heart freeze at the dark look in his eyes. “That’s why you have all those bruises, after all, right?” 

Nene looked down at her arms again, then back towards the door, but the boy was already gone, calling, “Get dressed, Nii-chan! Don’t want to be late, now, do we?”

The way he said the last phrase made Nene shiver, but she shook it off. If this was his brother—his twin —the boy had to be teasing him, right?

Nene hastily got dressed, finding a pair of boxer shorts and an undershirt in the top drawer of the dresser, along with a pair of black socks. She pulled on the pants, the button-down shirt, and finally, his jacket, which she carefully buttoned all the way up. She saw a backpack sitting in the corner by the desk, and she grabbed it, slinging the straps over her shoulders and running out into the hall.

The other boy was standing by the front door of the apartment, his foot tapping impatiently, looking at his phone. “Really, Nii-chan,” he said sharply, “we have to figure out how to get you moving earlier in the morning, don’t we?” He leaned in close to Nene; she could smell his musky teenage boy scent, and she had to admit that it was not as appealing as she thought it would be (like, had this boy never heard of deodorant?). “Perhaps later,” he whispered, causing goosebumps to trigger along Nene’s arms, “we can figure out some way to get you to obey, Nii-chan, what do you think?” A dark fog seemed to cross his eyes, but when he pulled away, he was smiling again, and Nene thought she must have been imagining it.

“Come on,” he added, “it’s time to go!” He opened the door, and walked out, then turned and waited expectantly for Nene to follow him out. Nene looked around, grabbed the lunch that was sitting on the table, and followed the boy out the door.

All the way to school, the boy’s brother kept up a steady stream of chatter. He talked about the weather; he talked about the upcoming calculus test he was studying for; he talked about the English book they were reading; he talked about a girl, Nanahime, a lot . Nene couldn’t tell if this was his girlfriend, a friend that was a girl, a crush, or what. There was also a boy….Hyuuga, Nene thought his name was?...who the boy’s brother seemed to talk about a lot, as well. But whereas he was reverential towards Nanahime, he mocked Hyuuga, calling him a fool and joking about his grades in a way that made Nene uncomfortable.

She didn’t really understand what was going on, but she knew that this boy? His brother was bad news.

They reached the school, and the boy ran off, calling, “See you after school, Nii-chan!” Nene sighed, and looked up at the massive, concrete building. How was she supposed to know where to go, or what to do?

“Oi, Amane-kun!” a sharp voice rang out behind her. Nene ignored it, and dragged her backpack around to the front of her chest, noting that without breasts, this was a much easier move. She opened the backpack and rooted around in it, looking for something, anything , that would give her a clue as to where she was supposed to go. 

“A-ma-ne-kun!” A male voice now sounded directly in her ear, and Nene jumped, her shoulder digging into the chin of another person, causing her to wince. “Ow!” the voice exclaimed. “What in the hell are you doing?”

Nene spun around to see two boys standing in front of her; they were both wearing the same uniform as her, except that the boy closest to her (the one she bumped) was carrying his jacket, a wide grin on his face. Nene couldn’t help but notice his sharpened canines, like he almost had fangs. His blond hair was messing, but his blue eyes were bright and cheerful.

“Daydreaming as usual?” the other boy commented, and Nene’s eyes grew wide at his appearance. His reddish hair was tied back in a low ponytail and held in place with a series of bobby-pins. He wore a pink sweater instead of his uniform top, and a yellow and brown scarf wrapped tightly around his neck. His cute face (he wasn’t handsome, per se, Nene decided, but definitely cute) was twisted in a frown.

“What?” Nene asked, confused. She looked between the two boys. Clearly, they were friends, and they were also friends with the boy whose body Nene currently occupied.

Score. Maybe they could tell her something.

The first boy laughed and tugged Nene by her arm. “Come on, Amane-kun,” he said gruffly. “We’re gonna be late if you don’t move your ass.” As he pulled Nene towards the building, she realized with a start that her first name—that the boy’s first name—was Amane.

Amane.
Amane.

Why did that name feel so lovely as she turned it over in her mind? Like it felt warm, comfortable...like home.

Nene followed the boys amiably into the school, eager to learn more about the boy whose body she occupied, and his friends. They took off their shoes at the lockers and slipped on their uwabaki, then Nene followed the boys upstairs to their classroom. She saw the number outside the door: 3-A. 

So she was 17 or 18. Also good to know.

Inside the classroom, the boys went to their seats and started unpacking their backpacks. Nene looked around, trying to figure out which desk was hers... his.

“Amane-kun!” called the blond boy, waving to her. Nene went over to join him at his desk. “What—what’s up?” she asked, trying to sound masculine (and failing, she thought).

The boy’s blue eyes took her in. “What’s with you today?” he asked. “You seem...weird.”

Nene forced out a laugh, and then instantly regretted it because she sounded even weirder. “I—I just didn’t sleep all that well last night,” she said feebly. 

The boy scrutinized her, and Nene noticed for the first time that he had an omamori dangling from one ear...for traffic safety? And he was calling her weird?

“It’s more than that,” he said at last, his eyes narrowing slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You—you’re...”

“Good morning, class,” said the homeroom teacher, coming into the room. Nene looked up; he was young, with dark hair and eyes. He wore a button-down shirt, and carried a briefcase, which he swung up onto the desk.

“Good morning, everyone,” the teacher intoned.

“Good morning, Tsuchigomori-sensei,” the class responded.

“Yûgi-kun,” the teacher said, “why are you not in your seat?”

Nene glanced up, and realized the teacher was talking to her.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Um...I’m so sorry, sensei, but…” She looked around frantically, and then realized the only empty seat in the classroom was next to the blond boy, so she dropped into it and started taking things out of her backpack. The teacher took attendance, and at least she had the presence of mind to raise her hand when the teacher called out her/his name again. 

Yûgi. Yûgi Amane.

The boy’s name made Nene smile to herself.


Nene passed the rest of the day in a daze. She was trying to get his schedule straight, what homework needed to be submitted, what homework she would need to do that night. She found that her school was slightly ahead of his in their studies, and that made making through the day a little bit easier. Her English was pretty good, so when the English teacher called on her to speak, she was able to do so quite well…

So well that the entire class spun around to look at her, and the teacher’s eyebrows about raised off his face.

“Yûgi-kun,” the teacher had said, “how have you improved so drastically in just one night?”

Ooops.

“I—um,” Nene stuttered. “I guess I worked extra hard on this assignment?”

The teacher nodded, and Nene had sunk back down into her seat, slightly embarrassed.

So. The boy was worse than her in some things, but also...better...in others.

This had become clear when the math teacher called on her to solve a Calculus problem, and Nene basically flubbed the entire thing. In that case, the teacher had said:

“Yûgi-kun, you were able to solve this type of problem so easily yesterday. What changed?” 

And Nene had simply mumbled an excuse and buried her head back in the book.

Lunchtime they ate at their desks, and the two boys who had greeted her outside the building pulled their chairs around so they could all eat together. The blond boy she had learned was Minamoto-kun, while the red-haired boy was Mitsuba-kun. She also learned their first names—Kou and Sousuke, respectively—which made conversing with them much easier.

“You going straight home today after school, Amane-kun?” Kou asked, eating his onigiri delicately. His omamori earring swayed as he chewed.

“I—I don’t know?” Nene replied honestly. She had no idea what Amane did after school.

“You just haven’t been so anxious to go home lately,” Sousuke added. 

“Yeah,” echoed Kou. “We have photography club after school. Want to come join us?”

“Oh, maybe!” Nene said excitedly. “That sounds fun.”

“Better than going home with your brother, huh?” Kou mused.

“I don’t like him,” Sousuke whispered, brushing his hair from his face, which had turned pale.

“He’s fine,” Nene said, but she also couldn’t deny the chill that came over the three of them when Kou brought up Amane’s brother.

“Tsukasa-kun is always hanging out with Nanahime-san and Hyuuga-kun,” Kou said. 

“Yeah,” Sousuke added. “They’re weird.”

Nene was about to chime in, but the homeroom teacher had come back and the students were all putting away their lunches. Nene did the same as Kou and Sousuke turned back to their own desks, and she tried to follow along as Tsuchigomori-sensei went through the afternoon announcements.

Her mind was slowly starting to reel with the prospect of staying in this body for...how long, exactly? A day, a week, a month...forever?

She didn’t want to do that. And even though she hated her ankles and her legs, she was slowly realizing that she liked her female body, much more than a male one. She liked the soft curves, the way that it looked under clothes. A boy’s body? It felt so hard, cold, unyielding. And while she thought she’d like to touch a boy’s body as a girl , that was something completely different.

Nene spent the rest of the afternoon in a daze. She barely paid attention through History, Science, and Literature, and when the bell rang to signal the end of the day, she shot to her feet and grabbed her backpack. Because the more she thought about it, the more she realized…

She wanted to get out of there.
She wanted to go home.

She missed her school, her friends. She missed her parents. She missed where she lived ...hell, she didn’t even know where she was! All she knew was that, she’d woken up in a boy’s body, a boy named Yûgi Amane, that he was in his last year of high school, that he was good at math and bad at English, that he seemed to only have two friends, and…

“Yûgi-kun?” It was the homeroom teacher, Tsuchigomori. “Do you have a minute to stay?”

Nene looked at Kou and Sousuke; they nodded and Kou added, “See you at the club meeting, Amane-kun,” and he and Sousuke left. Nene sighed; she didn’t even know where the photography club would be meeting, so that was probably a lost cause.

“Yes, sensei,” she said, and packed up her belongings. She made her way to the front of the room, and sat in the chair that Tsuchigomori-sensei had drawn up for her. He sat down and folded his hands, resting his chin in them, looking at her intensely. Nene felt her skin heating up under his gaze.

“How are you, Yûgi-kun?” Tsuchigomori-sensei asked. 

“Fine?” Nene wasn’t sure what this was about, but from the way that the teacher was looking at her...was looking at him, at Amane...she wasn’t sure what to think.

“How is your brother, Yûgi-kun?” Tsuchigomori-sensei asked instead.

“Also fine?” Now Nene was thoroughly confused.

Tsuchigomori-sensei sighed. “May I see your arms, Yûgi-kun?” he asked, and Nene froze.

“I—I—um—hmm.” She didn’t know what to say.

“Your arms, Yûgi-kun,” he said, “please.”

Nene paused, and stood up. She unbuttoned her jacket and slipped it off, then held out her arms. Tsuchigomori-sensei shook his head.

“No,” he said. “Roll your sleeves up.”

He knew something.

Slowly, carefully, Nene rolled up first the right shirtsleeve, then the left. Tsuchigomori-sensei leaned forward, picked up her right arm in his hand, then her left, scrutinizing them closely.

“You’re still just clumsy, Yûgi-kun?” Tsuchigomori-sensei said. “Just sleepwalking and running into things at night?”

“What—what do you mean?” Nene asked, confused. 

Tsuchigomori-sensei dropped her arm and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “I’ve been seeing these bruises on you since September,” he said. “Back then, you said it was just because you started sleepwalking, and that’s what you’ve maintained all this time. But I have to tell you, Yûgi-kun...these don’t look like ordinary sleepwalking bruises. Are you sure you don’t have anything to tell me?”

Tsukasa-kun, Nene immediately thought. It’s something with Tsukasa-kun.

She didn’t know why, but there was a thought gnawing at the back of her mind. Amane’s brother seemed...off...somehow. In a way that chilled her, that had made her jump at the chance to go to photography club with Kou and Sousuke. But still…

“No...I mean...yes,” Nene said. “Just sleepwalking and klutzy.” She stood up. “Is there anything else, Tsuchigomori-sensei?” she asked.

The teacher paused. “No, Yûgi-kun,” he said. “You’re dismissed.”

“Okay, thank you,” Nene said, picking up her backpack. “Do you know where the photography club meets, by the way?”

He looked at her, confusion clear on his face. “Room 117, but you knew that, right, Yûgi-kun?”

Nene gave that fake, much-too-loud laugh again. “Of course! I’m just scatterbrained today. Thank you!” She paused. “See you tomorrow, Sensei.”

“Yes, see you tomorrow,” he said. She gave the teacher a wave and left the classroom, heading back down the stairs and towards the photography club meeting.

All the while, her mind tried to process what she had been through that day. Why had she woken up in a boy’s body, a boy she didn’t know, and who lived only the gods knew how many kilometers away from her? Why had she had to go through an entire day in said body, and how much longer would this last?

But most important of all, Nene knew, was this question:

Just where in the hell had the bruises come from?