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The night was like any other.
The moon glistened outside the windows, illuminating the common room with its soft light.
Kirishima didn’t exactly know why he preferred to stay here rather than his room, maybe it was because no one was around or he just liked to idly sit on one of the couches while being engulfed in the huge empty space, either way it was peaceful.
Sighing, he looked over at the clock, it was nearing 11pm, he shouldn’t be up this late but he made no effort to move from his position on the couch.
Night was the time he put away his facade and became vulnerable. Tonight, there is no unbreakable Red Riot that everyone knew and loved, no. Tonight there is only Kirishima Eijirou, scared, pathetic and insecure.
He’d do anything to be able to sleep soundlessly in his bed but no matter how much he tries, nothing can rid off the demons that live inside him. There hadn’t been a moment where he couldn’t stop thinking about his teacher’s dead body.
Kirishima bit his lip hard enough to lightly draw blood, he ignored the metallic taste in his mouth. Why? Why should he get to feel this way? Ashido, Sato and Yaoyorozu were also there and they’re fine now, so why should he be any different? It’s been over two months!
I guess I'm just that pathetic huh?
He laughed dryly as he felt the flow of tears begging to break free from his eyes, slowly they cascaded down his cheeks. He hugged his hands around himself and slid them up under his t-shirt sleeves where ugly scars danced around his skin, they begun at his shoulder blades and finished a little above his elbows, a number of them were an irritated red while some a sluggish brown. Kirishima traced the scars, the urge to harm himself again was strong.
It was a habit really.
Back in middle school, he was at his lowest. When the days got too much he would lock himself in his room, drowning out everything around him as he’d harden his fingers and sink them deeply into his flesh, clawing at it until blood trickled down his arms as it left hideous marks. It didn’t matter how much it stung, he never stopped until his shoulders were completely abused.
Kirishima never understood why he felt comfort in such a method.
He had promised himself that he would stop before getting into U.A. He wanted to change for good which meant that he would have to leave his old bad habits behind, so he did. Everything was fine for the most part, he become more happy and had amazing friends by his side. But old demons resurfaced, villains became more harder to fight and he realised that he isn’t unbreakable like he thought he was.
He remembered the day when he woke up by a nightmare after his fight with Rappa. Mind still in a hazy panic, he had activated his quirk and dug his nails into his skin as if it was his second nature. All the hard progress he made was thrown down the drain that day, but he didn’t care, not in that moment.
He remembered hating how the pain felt so nostalgic.
The red-head let out a choked sob, he wonders what his old self would think if he saw him now.
Kirishima didn’t know how long he sat there, crying. He must’ve been too distracted to notice someone else coming in the room. It wasn’t until a familiar deep voice shook him out of his thoughts.
“Kirishima.”
He looked up and he subconsciously tugged his sleeves lower. His vision blurred with tears but he could still clearly make out the figure of Bakugou. The boy stood by the edge of the couch, eyes blank and calculating.
The sound of his name on the blond’s tongue almost sounds foreign, and Kirishima hates it. The two hadn’t talked ever since Bakugou came back from the hospital aside from a few occasional remarks here and there. With their hero studies and internships they just never had the time, at least thats what Kirishima thinks. Bakugou had been with Midoriya and Todoroki most of the time, he can’t say it didn’t hurt but if Bakugou was happier with them, then so be it.
Wiping at his eyes, he watched as the other teen hesitantly made his way to sit on the other end of the couch, making sure to leave a little distance between them. It was silent for a while, apart from the occasional sniffles. Kirishima sucked in a breath before speaking to the blond for the first time in what felt like months.
“What are you doing up?”
Bakugou’s voice was low and groggy, something you wouldn’t have expected from the explosive boy. “Couldn’t sleep, decided to get water.”
“Oh.”
Bakugou scratched the back of his neck, eyes looking everywhere but Kirishima. “And you?”
“I just needed some time to think I guess.”
An awkward silence rung upon them again, neither saying anything. Kirishima could see the tense muscle movement in the other teens cheeks, Bakugou kept pulling at his fingers as if he was thinking of what to say but it was obvious that he didn’t want to be here.
Kirishima sniffled again before saying, “You don’t have to stay here you know.”
“I know.” Bakugou replied, still playing with his fingers as if his answer was obvious. “I’m not leaving till you stop fuckin’ crying.”
The red-head widened his eyes, Bakugou Katsuki was always an unreadable person, it took a while for Kirishima to decipher all his codes, even so, out of all the Bakugou-like responses he would’ve expected, this was definitely not what he had in mind.
He continued, “Look, i’m not good at this shit, but like if you wanna talk..then i’m here.” Bakugou had said that sentence so awkwardly that it nearly made Kirishima smile but the ugly feeling of doubt crept inside his chest.
“Why?” Kirishima quietly asked, still not believing what the other boy just said.
Bakugou furrowed his eyebrows, “What do you mean ‘why?’, isn’t this what friends are supposed to do?”.
Kirishima could only stare at shock after hearing the blond’s words, his mouth was slightly open in an ‘o’ shape. “We’re still friends?”
“Hah?” The loud teen exasperated, looking Kirishima up and down in slight confusion. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean? Weren’t you the one who practically forced me into becoming your friend?”
Embarrassed, Kirishima straightened his posture, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Well y-yeah but that was at the start of the year, things are different now. We haven’t actually spoke in a while, I thought you forgot about me.” He tried to ignore the stinging in his eyes. “And..and thats okay! I mean I wouldn’t blame you, I’m not really anything special, besides you’ve got Midoriya and i’m so glad that you’re fixing your relationship with him! He’s way better than me anyway so..” Bakugou kept quite, staring off into the side and Kirishima really hoped he hadn’t said anything wrong. “I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have said that, I’m not jealous or anything I swear. That would be unmanly-“
“Is that what you think?” Bakugou sneered, his tone managed to sit somewhere between enragement and from what Kirishima could make out…guilt? “That I would forget about you?”.
The red-head bowed his head in shame. The blond looked so hurt, he had only once seen such an expression on the boy’s face and Kirishima wanted to slap himself for being the reason for Bakugou’s sadness.
Bakugou clenched the fists on his lap, he growled before turning towards Kirishima. “First of all, don’t compare yourself to that nerd, yeah you’re right, our relationship has gotten better but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Besides you and him are different, with you I don’t have to constantly push myself forward in order to prove myself.” Kirishima could feel the sinking feeling piling at his gut but he never took his eyes of off Bakugou who tugged at his hair in distress. “I know we haven’t talked in a long time and that’s my fault, I never forgot about you okay? I never did, it’s just that Deku and I have been…busy, and I know that’s not an excuse but I thought.. ”
His next words were spoken so uncharacteristically quite that Kirishima almost missed it.
“I thought that maybe you finally got sick of me.”
What?
“Don’t give me that look shithead,” Bakugou scoffed. “You’re practically friends with everyone, and I don’t know but when I see you laughing along with Pikachu and Tape-face or some other fucking extra..I just thought it’d be pointless. I mean why would someone like you want to be with an asshole like me? You looked fine without me, but turns out I was wrong.”
Kirishima relaxed his posture and smiled slightly. “Guess we’re both idiots then, huh?”
“M’not an idiot.” Bakugou grumbled, staring off onto the sides again.
He let out a genuine laugh, he really missed times like these with Bakugou.
Yawning, Kirishima slowly stood up, smiling once more at his friend. “I think I’m gonna go to bed now but I really appreciate this Bakugou.”
“Hey wait.” The other boy’s voice stopped him in his tracks. “You never told me why you were crying dipshit.”
“Oh right, that doesn’t matter right now, I think I just need some time to myself but thank you for this, you’ve really helped me a lot tonight.”
“It’s whatever.” Bakugou mumbled, it looked like he wanted to say something but Kirishima decided to leave it for now. He stretched his arms over his head as he yawned again, feeling the loose fabric of his sleeves falling down, revealing his bare shoulders. “Goodnight Bakugou.”
As Kirishima turned to leave, a hand, which in this circumstance could no doubt belong to Bakugou, grabbed onto his wrist for dear life. When his eyes met the other’s gaze, he realised that Bakugou was staring intensely at the hem of his collar, it was only then did Kirishima realise the mistake he had just made.
Fuck.
He yanked his arm away from the boy’s grip, consciously tugging his sleeves lower and Bakugou watched the movement carefully. Kirishima was surprised that the boy could faintly make out his scars even in the dark with only the moon beams as his only light source.
The blond gulped before slowly asking. “Did you do that to yourself?”
“Just forget it-“
“Kirishima.” The tone of his voice sent shivers down his spine and for the third time that night, Kirishima could feel tears swelling in his eyes.
Kirishima anxiously swallowed. “I’m sorry.” He chocked. There was no point in hiding it now.
Arms cautiously wrapped around his waist and it took a moment for him to realise that Bakugou was hugging him. Surprised, Kirishima slowly snaked his arms to wrap around the blond’s neck, small tears soaking Bakugou’s night shirt. “I thought I had gotten better, but now I just can’t stop. I’m sorry.”
Bakugou tightened his grip on Kirishima, “Stop apologising idiot, we’ll get you through this yeah? If someone like me can get fixed then so can you.” The red-had nodded as he pulled away slightly from the warm embrace and placed his hands on Bakugou’s shoulders.
They stayed standing, staring at each other until the blond slid his hand under one of the sleeves of Kirishima’s shirt and traced the marks resting on his broad shoulder. “If you ever feel like doing that shit again.. come to me, I don’t care if i’m sleeping or busy doing whatever, just..”
Kirishima nodded again, although Bakugou didn't finish his sentence, he knew exactly what the other was trying to say. He smiled to himself at his friend's concern. “Okay.” He tucked away a few strands of his hair behind his ear. “Thank you Bakugou.”
“Katsuki.”
“What?”
“Just..call me Katsuki.”
Kirishima slightly grinned, warmth settling in his stomach. “Well in that case, you can call me Eijirou.” Although he doubted that the blond would ever call him by his first name due to his excessive need of calling everyone horrid nicknames, he still wanted to spread the message so that the boy could if he wanted to. Bakugou scoffed to hide the small smile forming on his face. “Whatever Dumb-Hair.”
He let out a small giggle as he wiped his eyes. “Dude my hair isn’t even up!”
They stood there, it didn’t matter how long the two laughed while in each others presence but Kirishima knew that he would rather spend all his nights with Katsuki, it didn’t matter how late or how tiring it would be, just being with the boy felt like slotting a missing piece in a puzzle.
It had been days, months, with out Katsuki by his side but now looking at the blond laughing along side with him, it felt like a weight that Kirishima never knew he had, lift off his shoulders.
“I’m gonna go to bed now, you should too,” The blond hummed in agreement but still didn’t move. Voice soft, ruby eyes meeting his own, Bakugou uttered “Hey Eijirou?”
“Yeah Katsuki?” Kirishima replied, ignoring the pull at his chest after the mention of his first name.
“Do you..wanna eat lunch with me tomorrow?”
He couldn’t help the big smile that formed on his face. “Yeah, i’d love that."
The other teen had a matching grin, this time not trying to hide it as he stared Eijjrou up and down. ”You better wake your ass up early tomorrow or I'll drag you myself."
Despite the humour in his tone, the red-head had a feeling Bakugou wasn't joking. "Yeah yeah, goodnight Katsuki."
“Night Ei.”
Tonight was not like the others, tonight there was no scared or insecure Kirishima Eijirou, no. Tonight, there was only Katsuki and Eijirou. Kirishima hopes all his nights were spent like this.