Archive of Our Own

Niles could be described as a carefree parent at best and a negligent parent at worst. Since his daughter's birth he'd deposited her with caretakers in a small apartment near Castle Krakenberg and visited her when it would strike his fancy, going on missions and indulging his vices freely when he wasn't there. He'd made the decision to care for his child, though raising her was another matter entirely.

Nina's mother had been a fellow thief that had no interest in childrearing either. Close to forty and with a bad arm from an old arrow wound, she knew she didn't have the energy to go through with it.

“I've already had one before, not interested in doing it again,” she had explained after she'd told him it was his.

He didn't believe her at first. She had been under his payroll for a year and they'd had a few friendly romps together. He'd sneered at her and asked if she'd told the other men she'd slept with the same thing, then to dig the knife in further he questioned how much she was asking for.

When she convinced him she wasn't lying for financial reasons he did the obvious thing and offered to pay for the abortion, knowing a few reputable doctors who quietly offered the service after hours and could get it done safely. That offer was accepted but prevented by a spate of winter illness that swept through Windmire and the doctors had been too occupied being paid exorbitant sums to attend to noble families and ignored the common folk.

The mother had proposed an orphanage and for the first time since learning of the pregnancy Niles felt a twinge of emotion for the unborn child. He recalled his own experiences with abuse at the hands of orphanages and didn't want to willingly send another child into that situation. He debated arranging an adoption, then figured while under Leo's service he had the money to care for the child himself.

When the baby arrived Niles had still been dubious she was his. She failed to inherit his dark skin and was fairly pale, coming into the world initially with only his white hair. Eventually her eyes became clear enough that he saw the resemblance and it convinced him of her parentage.

Niles was indifferent to her for the first year. To him having a daughter was more of novelty. He'd appear in the apartment, hold her and read to her for a bit, then disappear again. When she started talking and called him 'dad' for the first time that got another twinge out of him. By the time she was babbling sentences he was smitten and spent days with her when work allowed it or he didn't have anything better to do.

Then the war started.

Niles was constantly busy for months, barely saw his daughter, and when it came time to move to the front lines he was away for almost two years. All Niles was to her were letters her nanny would read out.

It showed when he returned.

“Dad, don't go!” Nina begged one morning and tightened her grip around his leg. Tears were dripping down her chin. “Stay here!”

“Nina...” He patted her head. “I need to work. I promise I'll return eventually.” He caught the eyes of her nanny and flashed a desperate look.

The nanny came over and with strong hands successfully pried her from his leg. Nina wailed harder as she was lifted into her arms.

“I promise I'll be back.” He kissed one of her red cheeks and quickly left.

Similar interactions such as that were repeated often in the months since the war.

Seven months after the war, Niles had been preparing himself to leave Nina once again to carry out his duty as a retainer, this time for another few years. It hadn't been helped by her joy at his constant presence over the past month, something she kept boasting to her nanny about. The post-war rush was dying down and he'd been able to spend all his time with her. For a four year old, there was nothing better in the world than having her parent around all the time.

Niles loved her, except he truly believed the large sums he paid her caretakers would be enough for a child to grow up happily.

He was going to Hoshido with his lord. King Xander's rule was beginning to settle at last, no more did all the royal siblings have to wear themselves thin calming rebellions throughout Nohr. Trade agreements were being finalised and townships had received commitment for support. At long last the prospect of peace was felt throughout the starving nation. Now the dust was settling it was time for Prince Leo to head to Hoshido to fulfil his long term engagement to Princess Sakura.

“The dowry has been finalised between Xander and Ryoma,” Leo explained to him several weeks ago. “Now we aren't quelling an uprising every fortnight, its time for me to depart.”

“Looking forward to seeing your beloved after so long?” Niles had teased with a grin.

“I know you're trying to provoke me but it won't work.” He had a tight smile on his face regardless. “Don't start, Niles.”

Niles had grinned at the response despite being cut off so quickly

During the war when the Nohrian and Hoshidon armies had spent months aligned, the prince and princess had taken to talking outside of war councils, both feeling there was something beginning to bloom between them. While they hadn't fallen in love during that time, Leo, the strategist, had seen the potential to further connect the kingdoms and proposed marriage to her, honestly telling her that it may be premature regarding their feelings toward one another, but he believed it would be best for their nations. Sakura, with a bright red face, confessed her feelings and beliefs mirrored his own and agreed.

Odin, the mage who schemed far worse than Niles ever could, had vanished along with two other retainers, leaving the primary duty on Niles to accompany Leo. Not that he wouldn't have accepted being left behind, but it left him feeling like there was no one to watch his back. He was very aware they would be entering formerly hostile territory and he wasn't yet certain if the peace would last. He believed Nina would be a distraction and he wouldn't be able to commit himself fully to either her or his lord if she came with him to Hoshido. He believed doing right by both of them was leaving her in Windmire with her caregivers and accompanying Leo to Hoshido.

He had been telling himself over and over he was doing the right thing. Even when regrets would burrow into him while he'd brush her platinum hair in the mornings or when she'd creep into his bed at night, he told himself he was doing the right thing. With no mother around, she would have to rely on the caregivers and the letters he would send.

Niles made the night before he left a grand affair. He promised to take her to a play, to dinner and whatever else struck her fancy. They walked through the upscale streets Windmire and she saw an extravagant boutique, so he went in with her and bought a deep blue dress with crystals sown in that make her look like part of the night sky walking with him. They passed a toy store with fine porcelain dolls in the window and he didn't hesitate in buying her one that matched her new dress. Even the jewellers were free game and by the time they reached the playhouse she had a sparkling silver and sapphire pendant around her neck. Niles wanted to give her everything, he felt that night there was nothing too much she could ask for, anything except asking to join him in Hoshido.

At the theatre she watched in amazement at the performance and when they walked through the streets afterwards she re-enacted her favourite parts of the play on the cobblestone path. When they went to a restaurant afterwards she was still talking with flushed cheeks about how happy she was, showing the waitress her new doll and emphasising to Niles what her favourite part of the show was and why. He mostly nodded and smiled, adding to her juvenile analysis of the show where he could. He finished the night off by ordering her a slice of cake that was layered with thick pink frosting and watched her eyes light up as the waitress placed it down in front of her.

The sugar had kept her going for half an hour after that, but now she was worn out and fast asleep in his arms while they took a carriage ride home. Her little head was tucked into his neck as he watched the buildings go by, satisfied this was a good way for them to part.

The nanny was unimpressed when Niles returned, disapproving of the late night and all the purchases he brought home with him. He paid her no heed, ordered the items to be put away in the morning, and carried his daughter to her bedroom.

Nina roused and whined as he dressed her in a sleeping gown and was fast asleep again by the time he was pulling her blankets over her shoulders.

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he whispered into her cheek. “We'll see each other again someday. I promise.”

The nanny was still scowling at Niles as he was leaving. She'd expressed anger at his planned departure for months and had gotten more vocal the closer the day came. For him, her silence now was worse than the criticisms. He glared back at her and didn't break his stride as he left. He made it two blocks before he stopped walking, then leaned against the side of a darkened bakery and stared up the stars, remembering all the stories he'd heard from soldiers about fathers abandoning them and how angry they were when they recalled it. She would eventually understand, he told himself, because he believed he was doing the right thing, and he knew he would see her again one day.

His decision was made harder the following day when Leo looked surprised at the single bag he was bringing along. They were loading the carriage that would carry all their belongings. He was bringing the lightest load, even the other staff joining Leo on his journey had more bags and cases.

“You aren't bringing Nina?” Leo asked while trying to catch his eye.

Niles keep his focus on the task of reviewing the supply check-list. “No.”

“Well, why not?” Leo asked, bafflement on his face. “Are you having her come later?”

Niles sighed. “She's not coming at all. She's staying in Windmire.”

“We're going to be there for years, Niles.” Leo bore confusion across his face.

Prince Leo and especially Princess Sakura were several years too young to marry by both Hoshidon and Nohrian standards. When she and Leo had sat before Ryoma to propose an engagement the high prince had voiced that as his final concern of their discussion. Leo, ever the diplomat, had agreed and stated he would be willing to live in Hoshido with Sakura until she became of age to marry. This had delighted the high prince, who'd then agreed and announced to the room his sister was engaged.

It was agreed by all Sakura would move to Nohr when they were married, until then, Niles decided to devote himself fully to Leo and leave Nina behind.

“I'm certain there will be more than enough rooms when we get there. If you don't wish to reside with her in Castle Shirasagi we can always make other arrangements,” Leo said while he stepped aside as the carriage door was opened for him.

“Its better if she stays in Windmire.” Niles handed the paper back to a nearby butler with a nod. “I'll write to her.”

Leo wasn't pleased with reply and he made it clear to Niles by his expression. He didn't say anything further though and disappeared into the carriage.

Niles forced himself to shrug off the thoughts his comments had stirred and climbed onto the seat behind the coachman.

It took a month and a half of tedious travel to arrive at Castle Shirasagi. When the coach pulled up all the Hoshidon siblings were waiting in the outer court in formal wear, Lady Sakura in particular looking especially radiant and was smiling from ear to ear.

Leo mentally prepared himself as the carriage door was opened, then didn't hesitate as he stepped out and walked towards them. Niles jumped down from his seat and followed from a respectable distance.

“Prince Leo, it joys me to see you have arrived safely,” Ryoma greeted and walked forward to meet him.

“You honour me by giving me such a greeting, King Ryoma,” Leo responded then gave a deep bow.

Ryoma was elated by the gesture and returned it in kind. “It is nothing. You are now a member of our family-” Behind him, Takumi winced as Hinoka subtly and quickly kicked him in the calf. “-and it is only appropriate to welcome you as such.”

Sakura quietly joined Ryoma, blushing as red as her namesake.

“G-greetings, Prince Leo.”

“Princess Sakura,” Leo reached his hand out. “May I?” he asked while flicking his gaze between her and Ryoma.

Ryoma nodded. Sakura held out her hand and Leo took it gently before placing a kiss on the back of her hand.

Most in the courtyard thought it was impressive how the princess could be so red yet look so happy at the same time.

Niles seen enough diplomatic greetings that the whole scene didn't interest him. He mostly watched for any hidden archers or attackers, though he knew it was unnecessary because there were dozens of soldiers lining the courtyard alongside the immediate retainers. Thinking of retainers he knew during the war, he spotted Oboro, Setsuna and then Subaki standing off to the side in fine gear that had never seen battle. When Subaki noted Niles was looking at him he gave a curt nod, one Niles returned, then they both resumed watching the scene.

“Come, we'll show you to your rooms.” Ryoma opened his arms, the wide red sleeve of his haori gesturing behind him.

Only Sakura and Ryoma lead Leo into the castle entrance. Takumi and Hinoka bowed as the Nohrian prince walked past and remained in the courtyard. The required retainers inevitably followed behind as a group and Niles sidled up next to Subaki.

“We meet again, Mr Perfect,” he greeted with a grin.

Subaki smiled at him. “Hello, Niles. I trust you've been well in the months since the war?”

“I have indeed. Look at me now, moved from one castle to another.”

The inside and outside of Castle Shirasagi's walls were mostly white. Ornaments of different colours and shapes decorated the walls and reflections of sun would bounce from object to object to fill the halls with light.

“Can't say I'm fond of all this light though. Its going to make it harder for me to skulk around.”

Subaki grinned. “I'm sure it will grow on you.”

Ryoma spent a good two hours leading his new guests around the castle and describing the layout. Leo was getting fatigued from the trek and was ready to collapse when he eventually lead them to a secluded wooden balcony.

“Thank you for indulging in my company. I shall take my leave, I imagine you two must want some time alone to get reacquainted.” Ryoma bowed again. “We are having a feast to celebrate your arrival later in the evening. Please join us when you are ready.”

“Thank you, King Ryoma. That would be wonderful,” Leo replied, face slightly pale from weariness.

Although the balcony was in the shade it was still bright with sun at the edges. Leo and Sakura smiled at each other and walked outside to the tea table that had been prepared. The retainers were waved off as two guards were already stationed outside.

“Please come along, I'll show you to your quarters,” Subaki stated then turned to a hallway.

“Oh, just you and me?” Niles grinned.

He wasn't expecting a disgusted scoff behind him and turned in surprise to Hana scowling at him. “Please refrain from making such suggestions, especially around lady Sakura.”

Telling Niles not to do something was akin to pouring oil onto a fire.

He grinned wider and took a step in her direction. “Don't want me to leave? I'll be more than happy to have you join in as well.”

Her face contorted and Niles thought for a moment he would have to reach for his dagger.

“Let it go, Hana, it won't do to start something with our future lord's retainer,” Subaki said from the hallway.

Hana huffed, cheeks red with anger, then walked down a different hallway. Niles kept grinning after her.

“Niles, please, that statement goes to you too.” He didn't wait for a reply and began walking, ponytail swaying behind him. “Our lieges will be married in a few years, we must ensure we don't cause them any distress by arguing.”

The offending archer kept smiling and followed close behind him.

While neither of them would say they were close, the two of them had come to understand each other's true nature during their time together in the army. Niles preferred their later exchanges to the constant threats of violence the two of them somehow started off on. During the final weeks of the war they'd even shared a meal in the dining hall every so often. Eventually Niles dropped most of the facade and they talked more honestly about how life in the war was going and what they thought their chances were. They hadn't talked too personally and they didn't know much of each other's private life. Meeting again, neither of them would consider each other friends.

The feast later that day started early and ended late. They had Nohrian chefs make a slew of their homeland's delicacies and along with the full wooden platters of Hoshidon foods no one left the dining hall feeling hungry. Leo fearlessly ate the Hoshidon food while the royal siblings tried some of his countries more famous meals. While everyone struggled to adjust to the flavours, they all found a compliment to give.

There were other Nohrians there aside from the staff that joined them. Niles was keeping an eye out for familiar faces and quickly recognised Charlotte, who was wearing a yellow kimono, the most modest thing he'd ever seen her in, which covered a large bump at her stomach.

He wondered who she married, then it quickly became apparent to all when a drunken nobleman grabbed one of her enlarged breasts and Saizo appeared in an instant with a kunai. His appearance was unnecessary however. By the time he had readied himself to strike Charlotte had punched the man halfway across the room until he crashed into the side of a shrieking woman. As it was late in the night and the alcohol had been flowing freely, all everyone did was laugh at the man's dizzy groans as he was escorted out by the guards.

Niles spent the first part of the evening watching his lord, then when it became apparent all four Hoshidon royal siblings not giving him any breathing space was protection enough he loaded a tray with food, took another tray with cups of sake, and retreated to a small side room down the hall. He enjoyed knowing feasts followed the same procession no matter the country. People greeted each other, ate delicious food, got drunk, had a few laughs, and hearing the sounds coming from the room next to him told him a few would even sneak off for sex. He would eventually adjust to everything quite easily.

The following day Leo formerly gave Niles his orders, which amounted to keeping the Nohrian staff in check and arranging things when needed. He was grateful he'd put aside his dispute with Subaki back in the war as the man became a god-send in navigating the culture. From learning clothing, food, etiquette, both he and his lord would've been caught up in numerous political scandals if not for the retainer readily explaining certain facets of his culture to Niles, which he'd then relay to Leo. Sakura was also a huge crutch for the prince, but she was too innocent to explain some of the grittier details.

The first month was an adjustment and by month two he had grown frustrated by how routine it was. He considered it just a sunnier Castle Krakenburg. Instead of King Xander constantly running around calming rebellions, it was King Ryoma running around calming trade disputes. Leo spent most of his time with Sakura or Takumi and had little time for Niles. He chatted often with Charlotte who had given up on her girlish facade upon marriage and was as gruff as she desired. Alas, Saizo the Sixth arrived in the second month as well and they hardly got a chance to talk afterwards.

He wrote lots of letters to Nina and received plenty of responses through her nanny's handwriting. Most of her writings included the question of when he was coming home, something he always had to dance around with teasing answers or promises that his disappearance wasn't forever. Initially it didn't bother him, but eventually he found himself feeling guilty when the question would inevitably pop up.

By month three he was well acquainted with the guards, who he'd regularly sneak out to drink with, and retainers, particularly Subaki because the man took his salacious comments in stride. Their interactions were mostly during work hours and they were getting to a point where they would call each other friends and little tidbits about their personal lives had been shared.

Castle Shirasagi was incredibly safe. There were no dangers to Leo. All Niles could do was watch as his lord fell a little more in love with his shy betrothed each day while he spent his days fluttering from each mundane duty, learning the differences between a bow and a yumi.

Close friendships were rare for him and he would say the day he finally crossed into that point with Subaki was on another sunny afternoon while he relaxed in a small courtyard in one of the castle offshoots. It was humid and he'd donned a light shirt and pants to relax under a large, leafy tree. The cicadas, a loud insect he was still trying not to be annoyed by, were humming in all the trees around him.

Subaki wandered in through the entry and walked with purpose towards the small man-made stone pond at the opposite end of the court. Niles at first only saw the shape of him and by the time he was staring properly all he could see was the other man's back while he walked. What intrigued him was that it was the first time he'd seen the man completely out of his pegasus gear. Instead he was wearing a simple blue kimono and letting his long red hair flow down his back. It made Niles shudder.

Quiet afternoon disrupted, his immediate reaction was to smile that the other man had appeared.

“Hello there, Mr Perfect,” he called while standing up.

Subaki startled and turned around to face him, red eyes and hair shining in the sunlight. What in turn startled Niles was there was also a tiny face staring at him with identical red eyes and hair against Subaki's chest.

“Niles, here to enjoy the afternoon I presume?” he asked while the other man shook himself out of his stupor.

“Well, I need to spend it somewhere,” he replied and walked up to him. “Who is this small morsel?”

“My daughter Caeldori.” He shifted his hold and pushed her up so their faces were almost aligned.

It nearly took the breath from Niles to see how similar the child was to her father.

“Good afternoon to you, Miss Caeldori,” he greeted and gave a traditional Nohrian bow, complete with arm flourish.

“Good day,” she replied confidently.

He smiled at her.

“The two of us are out to enjoy the afternoon. She just woke up from her afternoon nap and has energy to spare. Would you mind if we spent it here?”

“Of course not, the more the merrier.”

Subaki placed her down near the pond and helped her drink from a wooden cup that had been placed on the stones nearby. He chased after her a bit then let her play with an otedama while he joined Niles lounging under a tree.

“I didn't know you were a father,” Niles commented while she waddled after the patterned ball.

“Family isn't really a topic which has come up in our conversations,” Subaki replied gently while keeping his eyes on her. “Isn't she splendid? For all my perfection I'm nothing compared to her.”

He was smiling serenely at her, the clear fatherly love made the other man smile as well.

“She certainly is something. My, how she looks like you.”

“As many people have said. My in-laws are annoyed she looks more like me than her mother.”

“Where is her mother? Coming to join us soon?”

Subaki looked down briefly, smile still gentle, and shook his head, loose red hair swaying. “She is deceased.”

“My condolences,” Nile replied and dropped the smile.

“Its alright. If I may get a bit personal, I don't feel her loss as severe as many expect,” he admitted.

“Oh?”

“It was an arranged marriage between our parents,” he clarified and looked at Niles. “We only met once before our wedding and were only together for a few months before the war started, during that time Caeldori was conceived.”

“And during the war the only exchange you had was by letters I presume?” Niles asked.

“Correct.”

“While they can be very romantic, I can imagine it didn't exactly create intimacy between the two of you.” He sighed. “A shame, married and widowed within a few short years.”

“Mm,” Subaki nodded. “She gave me my daughter. If for no other reason, I would say I loved her for that.”

Their conversation was cut short as Subaki was summoned to demonstrate how to play with the otedama and sing a children's rhyme. Caeldori tried to follow his movements which resulted in frequently slapping the ball with all the finesse of someone still learning fine motor skills.

Niles laid down against the soft grass and stared up at the blue sky through the gaps in the leaves, listening to the sound of a father and daughter playing. He thought of Nina and wondered if she still liked to bounce her ball off the apartment walls and if she would still be interested in playing the same game with him in a few years. He was very aware in that moment he could mention to Subaki he had a daughter so they could share that common ground, still, he didn't.

A heartache built in him while listening to Subaki's steady voice talk his daughter through lyrics and eventually became too much. He escaped by offering to get an early dinner. To his relief Subaki accepted and Caeldori agreed with a loud and once again confident, 'Thank you!'.

He took his time getting to the kitchen and waited while they prepared food for them. He could've gone back to the courtyard and they would've brought it out shortly after, except he still needed a moment to compose himself and rid his daughter's face from the forefront of his mind. By the time he was leading two staff out with their dinner he felt a little more prepared.

The staff set cushions and a small table for them on the pavement then took their leave. Subaki instructed and gently enforced etiquette to Caeldori while smiling down at her. Niles relented and followed the same rules, including sitting on his knees, to show some solidarity. She eyed the monaka on his plate all throughout their meal and he took the not-so-subtle request and gave it to her despite Subaki's protests.

Evening was coming up on them and Caeldori was displaying the first signs of sleepiness. Subaki lay on the grass once more, on his side with his head propped up in his hand while she rolled on her back in front of him, pointing at the shapes the sky made in between the leaves.

Niles certainly didn't feel like he'd skipped out on dessert with such a sight in front of him. With his dislike of Subaki now gone completely, he could feast on his slender form lazing in the afternoon, red hair resting his cheeks and against the skin of his neck. The kimono had loosened slightly with the day's exertions, the collar had fallen and showed the top of his chest, the hem coming up to show of one of the man's calves.

Niles couldn't stop himself from staring at his long red eyelashes and excused himself for the evening.

The image of Subaki on the grass painfully reminded his body it had been over four months since he last had sex. Not keen on potentially offending anyone in the castle by making a pass at them, he made the trek into town that night, easily ensnared a local with his exotic skin colour and smiles and got it out of his system.

Life continued to be easy around the castle. The retainers didn't work as many hours as they had in the past and children were frequently seen running amok with their parents.

Shiro, King Ryoma's white-haired demon, frequently pounced on his father and mother to try and goad them into fights. Rinkah usually swatted him off or derided his poor attempts while Ryoma often chuckled and hoisted him up by an ankle while walking through the hallways, indignant and squealing five year old on show for all the staff.

Charlotte recovered from birth and went about her tasks with Saizo the Sixth swaddled to her chest. She wasn't up and about too long before she announced to the castle she was departing. She was relocating to Igasato at both her husband and brother in law's request, having been advised it would be the best option for her and her child.

The songstress Azura reappeared with an excited Kaden, and to continue the trend of children in the castle she was heavily pregnant. She insisted on birthing their child in Hoshido instead of the Kitsune's Hamlet and discussed plans with her adopted siblings on potentially living between the two locations.

Niles caught Leo and Sakura looking wistfully at all the children in the courtyard once from a balcony, their hands slowly intertwining while they looked on the cusp of sighing. He predicted many children in their future.

What started as gentle reminders of his daughter became near constant doubt he'd done the right thing by leaving her behind. Very often he'd think of the schematics of bring her to Hoshido, then remember he would also have to take on a parental figure in her life, something he doubted he had in him.

On the morning of Shigure's birth he joined the retainers and royal family while they awaited the new arrival. Princess Sakura was helming the delivery while Kaden was inside, his wife's head resting on his tail while he held her hand.

After a few short hours, Sakura appeared with a big smile and announced the healthy new life.

“Another child running through the castle,” Subaki whispered quietly to Niles while watching Sakura excitedly speak with her siblings. “Truly, this is the sign of peace.”

Niles nodded, uncertain on how the statement made him feel.

“He's a kitsune?” Takumi asked, loud enough that most the room looked over at him.

“Yes!” Sakura said gleefully. “We all knew he was going to be at least in part but not as much as he turned out to be! I can wait for you all to see his adorable ears!”

Takumi was perplexed, then his expression gave way to laughter. “Well, as long as my sister and her child are healthy.”

The following week the family had a quiet meal together which the retainers were allowed to partake in. To a degree. They were all still wearing their gear and ate mostly off to the side on a separate table. Often they'd be drawn into conversation with the family and they'd leave their table to join the royals in cooing at the baby. Each time breath would blow over his face it caused his faint blue and distinctly fox ears to shift. Azura was slightly flummoxed whenever the ears would twitch, though none the less stared at her child with all the love a new mother should have.

Niles sipped his drinks and didn't partake in the conversations too much. Most of the people in the room he was indifferent to and he spoke almost exclusively with Oboro and Subaki when his lord was occupied.

They wrapped up the evening early for Azura and her baby's sake. Considering each other friends now, he and Subaki moved to the dining room's adjacent balcony to continue their night. They chatted, drank sake until they were both warm in the face, then kept talking.

Niles didn't expect Subaki to pull out a kiseru during the evening.

“Is that a pipe?” he asked while watching Subaki strike a match and light it.

“I believe that's the Nohrian term. We call them kiseru. To my understanding they're functionally the same.” He took a slow breath from it, chest rising up, then tilted his head up and blew fine smoke from his thin lips. “I don't have them too often, they can be addictive.”

“Sounds the same then,” Niles agreed and looked away from the curve of the other's man neck. “I should introduce you to hookahs. They're not of Nohrian origin, but they're very popular in the capital.”

“The big ones that can be shared?” Subaki asked. “They were introduced here as well. They were quite popular some years ago, not so much now.”

“Hm, how about that? Our countries finally have something in common, even if its in pursuit of pleasure.”

Subaki offered him the kiseru, which he accepted and took a breath from while the other man continued talking.

“Decadence is prominent in every society, or at least it will be if the opportunity arises. And surely, Niles, you don't believe that's the only way our countries are similar?” he asked.

He blew out a light cloud of smoke. The tobacco was much thinner he was used to in Nohr and he detected dried flower petals in the mixture. “Of course not, though I will admit I'm only aware of the way our countries are similar by how seedy they can be,” he admitted. “That's my society.”

“Such a pessimist,” Subaki chided and shook his head. “You should go into town during the day and enjoy the happenings.”

“No sights I know I'll enjoy,” he commented and handed it back.

Subaki looked at him then, eyes sharp and mouth curled up into a smile. “Well, what if I was to accompany you? I'm sure then there'll be at least something you can enjoy the sight of.”

Called out, Niles didn't reply at first, running his tongue over the back of his teeth behind the smile he was trying to hide. “Then perhaps I should. Though only if you wear your hair down,” he teased.

Subaki's laughter rang freely in the quiet night air. “Oh, subtly is not your strong suit, my friend.”

Niles joined Subaki and Caeldori two weeks later when he'd received a request to order bolts of cloth from both the castle tailors and Oboro. As promised, and as a bit of flirt, Subaki wore his hair down along with a white and blue hakama. Niles certainly thought he made quite the picture as he carried his daughter in her intricate red kimono around town.

The streets were bustling and they were arm-to-arm with the townsfolk at most points. A lot of them openly stared at Niles, fascinated by his darker skin and foreign clothes. He hadn't taken to Hoshidon clothing yet and was still wearing standard Nohrian attire, though he had ditched his gear today and left in a modest grey shirt and black pants. His personal mission was to buy cloth so Oboro could create him more Nohrian outfits as promised.

Subaki started by leading him through the town square where the stature of Queen Mikoto had recently been unveiled. He bowed to it, carefully holding Caeldori while he did so, then lead him to a calm, albeit still busy park.

He placed Caeldori on the bench next to Niles, leaving her to look at him in fascination while he went to a nearby food vendor.

“Your father loves you very much, you know that?” he told her while she reached for his eye-patch.

For a moment he was reminded of when Nina was her age, when he'd been sitting at their kitchen bench on a dreary morning and she was at a stage where she wanted to grab everything. She had gripped his eye-patch and tore it off his face with such vigour the knot at the back had come undone. Determined not to let history repeat, he gently patted down Caeldori's hand from his face.

“Apologies, she's grabbing and hitting everything she can get her hands on,” he heard Subaki's voice explain from the side.

He looked over and saw the man coming towards him with a paper bag.

“From what I understand that's the norm at this age.” He was very aware that was a perfect moment to openly recall his daughter going through the same stage, yet let it pass. He knew he was going to dwell on why he did so later.

“True, none of us were born knowing how to wield a weapon precisely.” Subaki sat on her opposite side and pulled out a circular brown sweet from the bag. Caeldori immediately reached for it. “Manners, my dear.”

She whined and reached harder. “Please.”

Subaki smiled down at her. “Your welcome.” It wasn't in front of her for a second before she'd snatched it up and was staring at it intensely.

He moved onto Niles next and presented him with one. “Dorayaki.”

“Aw,” Niles pouted and took it. “Not going to make me beg?”

There was glint in Subaki's eye, one that showed he was receptive to the flirting, none the less he steadied his smile and simply replied, “I hope you know your manners, I don't want bad habits to rub off on my daughter.”

Niles sighed. He found it no fun to flirt around a toddler, a complaint he voiced.

Subaki frowned. “Children aren't really your thing, then?”

It wasn't intended as an insult, and Niles didn't take it as one, yet he still felt the sting from the statement.

“Not as good as I know I should be around them,” he replied simply then bit into his sweet.

“You may have to learn to be. It's being kept quiet for now, but the queen is pregnant again and I'm fairly certain many of our peers will follow.” Subaki bowed down a bit into the dorayaki, cupping his free hand under it to catch crumbs. A lock of red hair fell from behind his ear and swayed around his cheek with the movement.

“I hope this one isn't as rambunctious as the first.”

The afternoon passed peacefully, all of his duties seemed to be leisurely since arriving to Hoshido. They placed the order of requested fabric and he bought some bolts for Oboro as promised. While Subaki was pointing out pegasus knights in the sky to Caeldori Niles used it as an opportunity to sneak away and buy a Hoshidon doll for Nina.

They ate at a busy restaurant in the evening and Niles didn't understand most of the menu. Subaki described almost all of the options in excessive detail and subsequently stole many opportunities Niles had to make innuendoes. It was something he did on purpose.

Caeldori was asleep against her father's chest as they walked to the castle, dusk and cool air quickly settling around them. Her head was limp against Subaki's neck and every so often he'd have to adjust her position when she started to slide down.

It was such a natural action and it made Niles wonder if he had it in him to do it as easily. He pictured briefly of the two of them repeating the day, only Niles had Nina with them and he carried her back to the castle the same way Subaki carried his daughter, the two fathers shoulder to shoulder while they walked. It stole his breath and he looked down at the stone path.

“Niles? Is everything alright?” Subaki asked. The sound Niles had made was clearly distressed.

“I'm fine, just dwelling on unpleasant thoughts.” He shook his head and looked forward again.

“Now of all times? After such a nice day?” Subaki continued and worry seeped into his voice.

“Its nothing to worry your pretty little head over. A man with my history has moments like that every now and then.”

Subaki's concerned expression was fading, though his lips became tight. “You've had a harder life than most, haven't you, Niles?”

Niles almost started laughing at how much of an understatement that was. Instead, he smiled gently at the other man. “As I said, its nothing for you to worry about.”

Subaki nodded, aware it wasn't his place his probe.

The following week Niles, in between he and Subaki making eyes at each other, spent it by indulging Oboro by letting her take his measurements then shooting down a myriad of outfits she was proposing.

“But the noblemen wear it in Nohr and it looks so much fun to make!” she argued while showing him a sketch from a paper brochure that had been sent to her from Beruka.

“I don't care, I won't be caught dead in lace.”

In his opinion, the style of cravats in Nohr became worse with each passing year.

He sent Nina the doll and then began the wait for her reply. Although her letters were mostly describing what she had done the prior day they were written, he found himself clinging to them and re-reading them with increasing frequency.

Being away from his daughter was not a rare occurrence, he was now in his seventh month away from her which was one of the longer stretches, though still nothing compared to the war. There was something off about it this time though. The last instance he had been away for so long was because war had no place for children in it. This time though, at moments such as the one he was watching, Shiro shrieking, laughing and trying to flail his way out of his father's hold in the throne room, he was reminded he was in a peaceful time and questioned himself why the thought of her here filled him with dread.

He didn't realise he was staring until the king spotted him and looked at him in surprise. Niles bowed.

“My apologies, Your Majesty, I was following the sound of a shrieking child.” It was mostly true, he had heard Shiro, known he wasn't in danger, yet followed the sound anyway.

“Ah, my own apologies for causing concern,” Ryoma replied and threw his son over one shoulder, one heavily muscled arm curled over his small form. “This one does love to issue challenges. It seems I'm both his father and rival.”

“I'll get you yet!” Shiro shouted and resumed his flailing. “Just wait till I'm bigger, then you'll be no match for me!”

Ryoma responded by hiking up his shoulder and giggles erupted from his child.

“If I may ask your assistance, Niles, I was going to speak with Oboro about sending the Nohrian royal family each a gift of clothing,” he said over bursts of 'Do that again! Do that again!' from his shoulder. “I was hoping for your advice on the matter so I do not offend them.”

“Of course, King Ryoma, I would be happy to assist you.” He bowed again.

Ryoma rolled Shiro down his arm, which the boy found delightful and his laughter turned into squealing, then lowered him to the ground with his arm around his chest to steady him.

Shiro balanced himself at Ryoma's side and sufficiently settled by today's trouncing he didn't try to pick any further fights.

“Why are we sending clothes to the royal family? Don't they have enough?” he piped up while they walked through the hallway.

“I'm sure they do, but I think they would appreciate owning some Hoshidon garments,” Ryoma replied while gently touching the side of his head and drawing him to his thigh as three servants passed carrying a rack of decorative yumis. “Even if they don't wear them, I'm sure they will appreciate the gesture.”

“Is this dip-lo-macy?” Shiro drawled.

“Yes, but also because I want to continue being friends with King Xander and his family and this is a small way to show it.”

“Why can't we send them a katana? Like a for-show one like we gave Shura?”

“It would be taken wrong. We gifted that to Shura to show him we are ready to defend Kohga's future. There has been much fighting between Nohr and Hoshido, sending a weapon at the present would be a reminder of that,” he explained and even Niles was starting to get into his lecture. “Did you like it when your mother gave you a toy club after you hurt your foot playing with hers?”

The boy flushed scarlet. “No.”

“Exactly. This is similar.”

“Niles, wouldn't King Xander like a katana?” Shiro asked and looked back over his shoulder.

“While I'm sure he would be fascinated by the design, I think your father is right and he would appreciate something other than a weapon,” he answered honestly. “The time for weapons between our two nations has passed.”

Niles kept to himself his belief that Xander would accept any and all crumbs of perceived affection Ryoma would throw him. What started as a lack of understanding between the two rulers had grown into mutual respect when their armies aligned. Then some people, Niles included, noticed Xander staring at Ryoma with soft expressions during the war councils and was often eager to propose a personal meeting with the high prince afterwards to discuss further policies and customs of their cultures to 'better understand each other's nations'. There were many wistful sighs and forlorn expressions from the former crown prince the week the Ryoma felt comfortable enough to disclose to the Nohrians Rinkah was his wife and they already had a child together.

“Its a custom in Nohr to give a personal accessory to someone you consider close so they may have a reminder of you. If I may be so bold, Your Majesty, I believe King Xander would greatly appreciate such a gesture from you.” Niles wasn't sure if he was throwing Xander a bone or twisting the knife by making that suggestion.

“Oh, is that right?” Ryoma looked over his shoulder at him, face lit up. “I am glad to hear my friendship is so whole-heartedly returned by Xander. I shall certainly remember to do that.” He looked down to Shiro. “You see, Shiro, there are better customs than sending weapons.”

Niles resisted rolling his eyes.

After Ryoma had been thoroughly scorned for expecting full outfits to be made without measurements, Oboro was none the less eager to personally create a single item of clothing for each of the Nohrian siblings. After being shown an example of numerous Hoshidon clothing, Niles, with Shiro's simplistic input, gave his advice and an item was chosen for each of them. Colour-wise, he recommended keeping it the traditional Nohrian black and purple.

“Its just clothes! I don't get why they're so important!” Shiro huffed and squatted down in front of black silk that would become a kimono robe for Princess Camilla. “I still think a weapon is better.”

Ryoma knelt down next to him. “They don't have clothes like this in Nohr. It makes it more interesting.”

“Really think they won't wear them?” Shiro asked.

“Most likely not,” Ryoma said and patted him on the back.

Niles was called to Ryoma's chambers later that night to confirm that a seldom used tenugui with an elaborate design was an appropriate personal item to send Xander. From when he entered to when he left the room Shiro was laying on the ground next to where Ryoma knelt, staring in a daze to the ceiling and mumbling half-sentences related to the conversation to fend off sleep.

Niles was disturbed after his time with Ryoma that day. He loathed how easy the king made it look to carry out his duties and keep his son with him and resented himself for the first time for leaving Nina behind.

He felt fragile for the following days, like he was glass on the cusp of bursting when being surrounded by fire. He trained harder, made more innuendoes and got under Hana's skin worse than ever.

He learnt she was a mother as well. She was married to Hinata and had a young boy called Hisame. While it was a common sight to see Hinata playing with his child in the courtyards and at meals, Niles was yet to see Hana interact with her child outside of stoically eating dinners with him. He wondered if parenthood was a sore point of hers he could target then stopped himself, remembering she was also Sakura's retainer and he'd been dealing with her for years to come.

His behaviour kept escalating until it culminated on the fifth day where it was perhaps incorrectly rewarded.

Niles had finished bathing after spending the day running across the roofs of Castle Shirasagi with the ninja to learn their footwork. Subaki stumbled out of a nearby doorway that lead into the hot springs. The man's hair was down and damp and he was wearing a very loose onsen yukata that had Niles biting the inside of his cheek.

“Subaki,” Niles called and caused the other's head to swing into his direction. “Would you care to join me for some sake?”

“Sounds wonderful, Niles,” he replied and sauntered to him. “I'm feeling especially relaxed from spending far too long in the hot spring, a drink would pair wonderfully with my evening.”

They didn't talk as they walked through the corridors, instead hearing the other's breath as they made their way through the halls.

Niles lead him to his personal quarters, when he arrived he gestured Subaki in first and slid the door shut behind him.

“Why don't you head to the table,” he said, reaching out and sliding his hand from Subaki's shoulders to his lower back, then gave a gentle push. “I'll grab the cups.”

Subaki looked over his shoulder at him and smirked, then did as requested. Niles ran a hand down his face and walked into his small storage room.

He ordered his body to calm the hell down while he pulled a tokkuri and two ochoko from his shelves. He had a bottle of lemon sake he'd bought in town a while back and he was fairly certain he wouldn't be serving it by Hoshidon standards, though he presumed correctly Subaki would let it slide. Placing it all on a wooden tray, he made to pick it up, then he stopped and braced his hands on the bench and leaned over, chanting in his mind to take it slow.

“Cool down, Niles,” he whispered to himself. “Cool down. Play it by ear.”

When he moved into his lounge room Subaki was kneeling, elbows on the table and fingers intertwined in front of his face, looking at the bow leaning against the wall to his side.

“There's nothing wrong with yumis, its just that I trust myself using a bow more,” Niles remarked and sat at a side adjacent to him.

“Mm, I understand. I once wielded a lance from Nohr during the war. It was very different to what I'm used to.” He turned his attention to the alcohol being poured in front of him, red eyes dark in the poor lighting. “Actually I've been meaning to better my yumi skills. The royal family wishes for me to become a kinshi knight.”

“Ah, those gorgeous birds...”

From there the conversation went on to tactics and fighting advantages, then to the benefits of soldier gear, then onto Hoshidon and Nohrian fashion. Both of them very slowly sipping at their drinks throughout the conversation.

By the time Subaki had finished his first cup his hair was dry. He was absently tracing the rim of his ochoko, they were both openly staring at each other, Niles holding his own cup and slowly swirling the puddle of liquid in it.

“You'd look marvellous on a kinshi,” Niles murmured. “I hope you get one of those golden ornaments so you can look like the sunrise coming upon our enemies.”

“Sunrise? If I'm the dawn you must be the dusk. Dark clothes and hair like moonlight,” he replied softly.

Niles reached forward, fingers stroking through soft, silky red hair. Subaki let it happen, still smiling as Niles' hand reached further into the strands.

“Like red sky in the morning indeed,” he muttered and leaned over.

Subaki met him and kissed him back, hand placing on his arm and drawing up and over the muscles to his shoulder. Niles gripped the back of his head to pull him deeper into the open-mouthed kiss, other hand running down his spine before curling around his lower back and tugging him forward. Subaki gasped as his thigh hit the corner of the table, then the two of them looked down at the offending furniture – Niles' nose brushing his cheek as he did so – and laughed under their breath.

“Bedroom?” Subaki offered.

Niles murmured against his lips, “Please.”

He quite literally pounced on the other man when the futon was in sight.

“So you do know your manners,” Subaki moaned, lying on his side while Niles leaned over him kissing the side of his neck.

The Nohrian had one hand in yukata under the collar and wasn't sure if he wanted Subaki completely out of it, he thought he looked so good wearing loose clothing and he ached thinking of him laying on his back with the robe fallen down his shoulders.

“I can be-” He kissed his collarbone “-very well mannered.”

He gripped the other side of the collar, practicality winning out, and dragged it down the toned body offered to him, mouth brushing down the side of Subaki's ribcage, hip, then thigh. Subaki whimpered, then lowered onto his back as Niles reverently bent one of his legs up, kissing a mottled scar on his shin.

“Very improper now, Subaki, I thought you were perfect?” Niles teased and ran the tip of his nose up to the knee.

Subaki grinned at the ceiling. “Wouldn't you say I look perfect now, Niles?”

Laying completely on his back, one arm in the sleeve of his rumpled yukata, beautiful red hair fanning under him and pale body on show, Niles couldn't disagree.

Sex always gave Niles a clear head and when he woke in the dark hours of the morning after he felt calmer than he had in days.

He had his chest to Subaki's back, deciding to wake the man by leaning over and kissing his cheek.

“Mmmm...” His red eyelashes fluttered.

“The sun's going to rise soon,” he whispered into messy red hair.

Subaki breathed out loudly, the closest thing he could do to sighing when he was so tired. “Should get ready to start my day...” he mumbled.

“You should probably leave my room before most of the staff wake up.” Despite the statement, he looped an arm around Subaki and pulled him closer. “Can't have it known the perfect retainer slept around with Nohrian scum.”

A smile stretched over Subaki's mouth. “You know I don't care about that.” He took a deep breath through his nose and opened his eyes. “I should probably get back to my quarters. Caeldori will likely wake up in a couple of hours and I can spend some time with her before work starts.”

Niles flexed his eyebrows. “Committed, aren't you?”

Subaki stretched his arms up, forcing Niles to let him go. “It's what you do-” He yawned loudly. “-when you're a father. Spend most waking moments outside of work with your child, leave a few rare nights like this to the caretakers.”

Niles chose to ignore how simple he made it out to be, instead lazing in bed and watching the other man getting dressed in his yukata.

“Let's not stop this with just last night,” Subaki said while tying his robe in place.

“If you know me even remotely you know I'll never turn down sex.” Niles smirked for added emphasis.

He was holding back laughter as he shook his head. “I don't mean just that. Let's keep spending time together, going to town and such.”

“Sounds nice.” He waved him down, Subaki complied and leaned down to him for a kiss. His lips were soft and Niles wished he could pull the other man back into bed. “When our free times aligns of course.”

“Of course,” Subaki agreed and smiled warmly down at him.

Niles thought he was onto something with this one.

Life in Hoshido continued it's calm and steady course, only now Niles had the added bonus of having a partner throughout it. Leo quickly picked up he was sleeping with somebody and confronted him, crossing his arms and citing that Niles hadn't been causing as much mischief as usual. He became distraught when he learned it was his finance's retainer, though Niles successfully argued it wasn't a bad thing as Subaki would be joining them in Nohr one day anyway.

Subaki confessed to Niles he was spurred to sleep with him because his body was desperately craving sex, then also admitted his feelings ran deeper and he'd hoped his suggestion of spending more time together wouldn't be turned away. While Niles barely had a handful of serious romantic relationships under his belt, he was none the less eager to become something with Subaki. He was eager to try at least.

They didn't hide they were spending more time together, often walking in the gardens and eating meals at the same table, so soon enough most of the castle inhabitants figured out their relationship. Unlike the soldiers in the war, the guards in the castle hadn't seen the worst of Niles' behaviour and weren't too scandalised by the pairing.

Most of the derision was because Niles was Nohrian. There was some scorn that Subaki was openly sleeping with another man. Mostly from the newer staff, the older staff that had worked in the castle during the days where King Sumaragi was married to Ikona and Mikoto, when the queens had openly displayed their love for both the king and each other, were indifferent to it. Like most relationships of the castle, it just became another fixture.

One thing Niles correctly anticipated was that spending lots of time with Subaki meant spending lots of time with Caeldori.

He studied how Subaki interacted with her, how he guided and chided her when needed. It was fascinating and new to him. He hadn't quite put together yet that the man was simply being a parent. He was far more hands on than Niles had ever been for Nina. He ensured he was there for her before work and saw her in the evenings, or if he would be unavailable he'd tell her.

Like generations before him, Niles' first hand experience with parenting came from his own parents. Subsequently, he had no idea how to discipline a child without beating them senseless and found Subaki's gentle methods difficult to grasp. When Nina had acted up back at home he'd either bribe her to settle or leave her with the nanny to take care of.

On nights when Niles slept in Subaki's quarters he wasn't sure what to do with Caeldori. He relied on Subaki to bluntly take his hand and guide him on where he should even sit around her when they relaxed at night, then needed him to guide him on what topics he should speak about. Twice he'd been pulled aside and asked to avoid talking about certain things around Caeldori, something Niles was surprised by as he talked openly in all manner of issues around Nina.

Subaki was patient with him, and late one night in bed Niles did eventually confirm his suspicions by disclosing he was abused by his parents and almost everyone near him when he was a child.

“I don't want to go into details, just know that I never had anything like this growing up.” He waved forward where a sleeping Caeldori was cuddled up to her father between them. “I don't know how to...” He didn't even know how to word it.

“You're getting better,” Subaki quietly replied over his sleeping child.

Caeldori's next phase consisted of her mostly running through the hallways and courtyards. Hisame frequently joined her and being a year older often stamped his feet to demonstrate the proper form she was meant to have. On days when Ryoma was especially busy Shiro would declare himself in charge of the two, as he was the oldest, and he would lead them on marches through the castle telling everyone they were protecting it.

The little patrols they went on were cute, though Niles would often leave the hallway before they could spot him.

On one such day he was hiding from the gaggle, looking at their patrolling and wondering how Subaki made it look so easy. He was feeling vulnerable which is why he was emotionally unprepared for his immediate interaction with Ryoma.

“Intimidated by the guards, Niles?” the king asked next to the pillar he was skulking behind, standing halfway out of a doorway.

It was years of sneaking up on people himself that stopped him from jumping out of his skin. “Indeed. I wouldn't want to be mistaken for a lurker.”

Ryoma sighed through a smile. “Shiro doesn't let up. He's only going to get worse as he gets older, I can tell.” Still, he looked at his son with affection.

Niles felt his heart clutch. “You're a good father, King Ryoma.” He only realised what he'd said after it was out. He turned and bowed immediately. “My apologies, it was out of line to comment on your parenting.”

Ryoma waved him off. “No apologies are necessary. Don't we all judge parents when we see them with their children? I'm at least glad I have been considered well.” He continued staring again, though wasn't seeing his son, instead remembering afternoons he spent with his own father. “Thank you saying that, Niles, I am grateful you told me your opinion.”

“King Ryoma, there has been a request I have been meaning to make. I don't know if I need to make it to you, but I figure there's no one higher than the king I should run it by.”

“Of course.” He stepped back into the doorway. “I have a moment, feel free to make it now.”

Niles was kicking himself after the words came out, continuing to do so while he stepped through the doorway, and during the silence of following Ryoma to a small sitting area in the large and empty meeting room. He didn't retract his request despite that he could have done so easily throughout those times.

“This is...a hard request for me to make, for personal reasons,” Niles started. He thought he might start sweating. “I myself have a daughter. I left her in Nohr with caretakers because I thought it would be for the best. After seeing how peaceful things are, I was hoping to bring her here.”

Ryoma was thoroughly taken aback. “Of course it can be arranged. You could've brought her here from the start. It has been – good lord – nine months since you departed Nohr? You must be missing her terribly.”

“I've been writing her letters.”

Ryoma was silent in response. Once again, only after it was said Niles regretted his words, this time due to what a poor excuse it sounded.

“Does Subaki know you have a child?” Ryoma asked.

“He doesn't, I'll tell him the next time I see him.” Niles felt he had to flee the room. “King Ryoma, I didn't bring her because-” He wanted to say being a father didn't come naturally to him, that his duty to Leo always came above any personal connection, that he had no decent parental figures himself to learn from. Instead he ducked his head and said nothing, knowing Ryoma would see through his excuses.

“Saizo, leave us,” Ryoma ordered.

“Yes, Lord Ryoma,” resonated from the rafters, then there was a muffled bang.

Ryoma looked at the other man, then slipped his arms against one another and let his long sleeves hang over his lap. He watched him akin to the way he had been watching his son not long ago.

“I missed Shiro horribly during the war,” Ryoma explained, offering a small bite of personal information. “Yet, when I saw him again, I barely knew what to do with him. On days when I wasn't hounded by responsibilities I had no idea how to interact with him. It took me some time to put aside my self-importance and go at his pace.”

Niles nodded.

“Its okay, Niles, what scares you?”

He had told Leo bits and pieces of his childhood, not the gritty details though. Ryoma's patient tone and gentle authority brought it all out him. Like black oil it came pouring from his mouth, unable to stop it dripping past his lips, hands unable to stop the rapid flow. The abandonment, the abuse, losing his eye, describing it all with painful adjectives and flustered words. In a few brief sentences everything was laid bare.

After it was done, Niles was so ashamed by being caught so emotionally off guard and confessing such a large part of his past to a man he'd barely had a handful of conversations with he couldn't bring his face up, his whole body was hunched over while he stared at his hands on his lap.

If he had of looked up, he would have seen Ryoma with his eyes closed, expression tense. He was choosing his words before he spoke with the retainer.

“Once again, Niles, I am grateful you told me this.”

Niles took a slow and loud breath.

“While you live in Hoshido, I am your king and you are my citizen. It is my responsibility to assuage the pain of my people.”

“I've had a bad run of it,” Niles muttered.

“You have. I suspect I understand your struggle.” Ryoma leaned forward and placed a broad hand on his shoulder, a gesture of comfort that had Niles finally raising his head. “You are not scared you will mistreat your daughter because of your past, you are scared you will neglect her because of it. That you can't devout yourself fully to raising her because you are still recovering from the wounds of your childhood. You believe yourself too self-centred to raise a child.”

Niles understood then and there why King Xander had fallen so hard for Ryoma, he could've fallen into the man's arms himself. To have his mess of emotions explained to him when even he couldn't do it himself was a relief he'd never experienced. He felt drained of energy.

“I'm so scared of screwing up and she'll hate me when she gets older,” he admitted.

The hand of his shoulder squeezed softly. “That's one of a parent's many fears and its the one that's incapacitating you. You must accept that you are going to make mistakes, that you will spend time away from your child but you can find a balance with it.” He smiled at him. “This castle is filled with children. We parents must all turn to each other when we need help.”

Niles gave him an unsteady smile.

“I will give you an order, Niles. Join me for meditation while you wait for your daughter to arrive from Nohr. I understand you can't do it daily, though I will ask you to join more than once a week. I believe it will help you.”

“Yes, King Ryoma. Thank you for your guidance.” He didn't know any Hoshidon gestures of gratitude, so instead he shuffled back and lay prostate before the king.

“Come with me,” Niles ordered that afternoon, curling his arm on Subaki's lower back to lead him to a quiet table in a tea room. “I need to tell you something.”

“Oookay...” Subaki replied and went along with the motion.

Niles caught Subaki as he was off to join Sakura. Normally the Hoshidon would have insisted on doing whatever they were about to do later but he rightly sensed this was important.

Despite the wheels already turning to bring Nina to Hoshido, Niles feared announcing her arrival.

“Someone from Nohr who's very dear to me will be coming to Hoshido,” he admitted over their brewing tea.

Subaki's face fell. “Is this you telling me you have a partner back in Nohr?”

“No. This is me telling you I have daughter.”

“Niles!” Subaki whispered tersely and leaned forward. “Why – why didn't you tell me this sooner?” His eyes were wide.

“Because I'm a terrible father,” he groaned. “Because I think I kept trying to ignore her because I have no idea how to parent her.”

Subaki frowned.

“Its not as simple as that, I know. I was also being selfish, I want – wanted to focus on myself and not her.” He groaned louder and clutched his fringe. “Its just – I really like where the two of us are heading, even though I'm not great around Caeldori she still likes me despite having done nothing to earn it. I thought maybe if I can be decent to her I can be decent to Nina.”

Subaki grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands down. “You're babbling. Is Nina your daughter?”

“That's her.”

“Okay.” He took a deep breath, cheeks puffing out while he did so. “It sounds like you're working through some stuff.”

“To say the least.”

“That's alright. Everyone is.” Subaki leaned back into his chair, hands sliding down Niles' forearms as he did so. “I will admit I'm hurt you hadn't told me sooner, though I also imagine I'm the first to know?”

“One of the first, I'm already arranging her living space now with the housekeepers. I'll speak with Leo about having her sent over. I trust him to get things arranged safely and discreetly.”

“Okay,” Subaki sighed, then added another, “Okay.”

Niles looked off to the side, contemplating how to proceed. The only thing that came to him was reaching out and taking one of Subaki's hands in his own.

“I suppose we should have a conversation about what role we want each other to take in our children's lives.”

Niles sighed. “I don't even know where I stand with my daughter. I haven't even thought about how much I want you involved.”

“Well, allow me to start then.”

Despite the declaration, Subaki couldn't think of how much he wanted his partner involved. He was aware Niles wanted to be serious with their relationship, a mutual feeling, though foolishly he presumed he would gradually phase into his daughter's life without much fanfare.

“I understand you're uncomfortable around Caeldori – now I know why – and yet I thought you could be part of her life regardless. Gradually. She likes you.”

“That's sensible path. Though I think we should hold off on doing that with Nina. I think perhaps I should focus a bit of time on her before getting you involved.”

Despite the indecisive statements, Subaki looked satisfied with his answer. “I understand,” he replied and clutched his hand tighter. “We'll play it by ear.”

On the cusp of dawn the following morning Niles dragged himself to the top of Castle Shirasagi. Other staff were quietly beginning their morning duties, as he passed several of them drawing the large wooden boards that covered the windows he saw the sun only just starting to rise over the blue landscape.

Ryoma was sitting on the balcony roof, facing the sunrise, dressed in a red hakama with a white hanten covering his top half, thick brown hair trailing down his back. The beginnings of sunlight was reaching for his face.

He smiled when he spotted Niles and signalled him forward.

Niles certainly didn't have the knack for meditation the king did. He didn't grasp the concept and for the first twenty minutes his mind wouldn't settle. Ryoma was patient though and explained he usually had Rinkah join newcomers as she was good at empathising with how hard it can be to relax into it. He apologised and said her pregnancy made her mornings later and it was just the two of them for today.

He explained further that Niles wasn't the only troubled soul in the castle, that he had arranged this morning specifically just for the two of them because he was new to it, but in the future there would be many joining them.

Eventually Ryoma asked what calm activities he enjoyed and from there was able to smoothly compare stargazing and meditation in a way that clicked for Niles.

He felt the effects during the rest of the day, even remembering Ryoma's warning that it wouldn't be an instant fix he still felt like he was on the path to change.

Niles began joining the king for morning meditation a few days a week and true his word he wasn't the only one. Many soldiers, lowly staff and high-born noblemen joined him on the balcony, all facing the sun and sitting quietly, their shadows behind them growing shorter the higher the sun rose.

Leo once again panicked at how calm he had become, this time pointing out Niles was smiling more and actually saying good day to some staff he liked. That was how he got Leo to join the morning meditations and got him even more in Ryoma's good books than he already was.

After a few weeks Leo pulled Niles aside and told him Nina's departure had been fully arranged. He expressed concern about how safe her travel would be and his worries were quickly dispelled when Leo told him Camilla had decided to travel with her on a diplomatic visit to Hoshido. He had around a month and a half to prepare.

Niles let Caeldori have more one-on-one interactions with him. Usually it was when he and Subaki were relaxing together and she was there. Their thing together became playing with the otedama while he'd sing Nohrian children's rhymes. When she'd be with friends and spot him she'd run up to him and make him sing them all over again. Afterwards he'd get pressed for the meanings behind the lines, and, because of his growing wisdom, he no longer had to explain back alley meetings and the goings of a lively pub. Truly, he did adore her father as he didn't see the appeal in telling her rhymes with double-entendres.

Subaki trusted him and left Caeldori in his care for a few hours some week, knowing Niles needed the experience. Once he permitted the two of them to head into town together under the guise that he needed to pick up a decorative naginata he'd ordered and was too busy to do so himself. Caeldori's begging and Subaki's encouragement made Niles brave enough to handle her without having a nearby caretaker to run too when it became to much for him and the trip was a big success, he hadn't even needed to spoil her to keep her happy. Subaki had been waiting in his room for their return and kissed Niles deeply upon seeing how happy his daughter was. Niles in turn collapsed in his arms, shaky with relief that it went well.

He'd been moved into slightly larger quarters that had a room next to his own where his daughter would sleep. He'd set up the bedding, clothes and added a few dolls. He'd asked Subaki to assess how liveable it was for a five year old girl, which the man had said was fine but was otherwise a little generic, like it was a general collection of what little girls liked rather than what his daughter enjoyed.

“Caeldori already loves pegasi, so I have some of their feathers on her walls and a few toys of them. What does Nina like?” he asked while considering the bedroom.

Niles looked around and failed to respond.

“Oh, Niles.” Subaki's expression wilted.

“I know,” he groaned and stroked down the back of his head. “I know. I need to do better.”

“At least you're not starting too late,” he replied while walking up to him. “We've got a quiet day tomorrow. Let's take Caeldori to town and have her choose some things. For now I need to head off.” He leaned in and kissed his cheek, a Nohrian gesture Niles had taught him.

The next morning he departed with not only Subaki and Caeldori, but also Hinata and Hisame. Hisame was an extremely formal child, especially in direct comparison to his father's more laid back attitude.

“I'm comin' along because Lord Takumi wants me to sort out a day for him and Leo to come to town,” he explained while holding Hisame's hand. The young boy was staring flatly ahead while they walked. “They'll wanna do something as well for Princess Camilla when she gets here I'll bet, but Oboro said she's got that covered.”

“Hana didn't want to come? I thought she had a slow day as well,” Subaki asked.

“Yeah, well... She thought she'd use it for training.” His face took on a flat expression, and the resemblance between father and son was more evident.

“Mother never wants to do things with me,” Hisame stated.

“That's not true,” Hinata said and gripped his hand tighter. “Remember when we all went to the flower gardens last week?”

Hisame pouted and said nothing more. Hinata pushed down a sigh and forced away his troubled expression.

Niles was interested in knowing he wasn't the only negligent parent in the castle, though decided he'd get the gossip when there wasn't small children around.

Caeldori was a wonderful guide for what daughters like, excitedly pointing to Niles the best toys to play with. She also made an excellent observation when they passed a craft shop by squealing excitedly at the array of inks and paper and Niles realised he'd need more than toys.

Hisame lightened up eventually and let himself get excited by Hinata at some of the shops they visited. His mood lifted permanently when Hinata bought him a bonsai tree in a shiny blue pot complete with an array of items to help him take care of it. Hinata promised to help him much to the boy's delight.

Niles took a page from his book and bought a bonsai tree he was told would flower if taken care of properly. He imagined Nina would be fascinated by it and hoped to replicate Hisame's excitement.

It wasn't a long trip, but it was a fruitful one, so fruitful they had to hire a carriage to get home with the bags.

Niles let Caeldori decide where to place a few things in Nina's room before he unpacked the rest himself. He had to admit, after looking at Nina's vibrant room when it was all done, there had been a clear improvement.

After that day when Niles came across the children they were braver in approaching him now he was being friendlier with him. He let himself be dragged into their games and even gave them tips on how to shoot a bow. None of them seemed really into it and he didn't foresee any future archers in the current group. Still, they appreciated him going of his way to show off his skills and letting them try to pull back a bowstring.

Eventually, they received word that Camilla was two days away. While the castle hurried to set up a greeting for her like Leo had received, Niles found himself once again unsettled despite the preparation he'd had.

The night before she was due to arrive he stayed with Subaki. While being spooned in bed he lamented if he was truly ready.

“You'll just have to try,” Subaki mumbled and cuddled closer to him. “I know you're scared of your own actions, that you might find yourself ignoring her again.”

“Mmm... I hate how obvious I am,” he muttered.

“We're here to pull each other up when we need it.”

“Like with Hana?” he tested.

Subaki quietly sighed into his neck. “We do remind her and she's acknowledging her faults.”

“What's her problem with Hisame anyway?”

“Nothing. She loves him, I think she just regrets having him so young. She wasn't emotionally prepared to have a child and wants to prioritise her training and personal goals at the moment.” After a pause, he added, “Don't tell anyone I told you that.”

“I promise,” he said with a sing-song. After a moment, he added, “Its scary though, how he's so young and can already tell something's off about his relationship with his mum.”

“Children can be perceptive,” Subaki mumbled into his hair.

He was silent for a while, both of them drifting to sleep when he murmured into his pillow, “At least I'm not the only screw-up parent in the castle.”

“Neither of you are screw-ups,” Subaki admonished with sleep heavy in his voice. “No self-pitying allowed. Not for being a parent.”

The Hoshidons prepared a large welcome for Camilla as they had for Leo. Once again the outer courtyard was filled with soldiers and had decorations placed throughout it. All royals were dressed in fine robes and the retainers had donned gear that were more for show than practicality.

Camilla's black, gold and purple rose-printed carriage pulled into the courtyard, two black horses pulling the cart and two wyverns circling overhead. Having been in Hoshido for so long, Niles was uncomfortably reminded how grim his country's décor was.

Still though, after the coachman scuttled to the side, pulled the door open and Camilla stepped out, garbed in a long and tightly-hugging black dress with cleavage on full display, King Ryoma showed no hesitation in stepping forward with his arms open.

“Lady Camilla, we are most appreciative of your visit.” He smiled and then gave a deep bow.

Camilla had decided to take a different approach to Leo. She sauntered up to him while he righted himself, full hips swaying, and pressed herself close for a hug and kissed his cheek.

“King Ryoma, as wonderfully hospitable as ever. You are a delight to see again,” she replied while pulling back and leaving her hands on his shoulders.

A few guards spluttered. The three other Hoshidons siblings stared wide-eyed. Leo held his breath.

“A sentiment I return whole-heartedly. I look forward to showing you my country and speaking of topics not related to the war.” Ryoma replied smoothly despite the blush across his cheeks and nose.

Camilla cackled, teeth flashing in the morning sun while she did so. “Yes, now is not the time for talk of war!”

She spotted Leo and strode towards him. He smiled despite the potential scandal she was causing.

“Sister, its wonderful to see you again,” he said and walked forward.

She pulled him into a tight hug, cheek resting on his head and purple hair draping down his face and back.

“Leo, words can't express how much I've missed you. How terrible its been having the family apart.” A warm smile stretched over her face and reached her eyes.

“I hope you've been well. I can't wait to hear how everyone is,” he replied and patted her upper arm from his position.

She pulled away, still smiling at him. She spotted Sakura and her eyes lit up. Sakura shrunk into herself.

“My dear, sweet, sister-to-be. How you've grown since I last saw you.”

With the Nohrian princess walking towards her with her arms outstretched, Sakura stood her ground then let the hug happen, Camilla's breast pressing into her cheek.

“It-it-it-” She took a deep breath. “Its good to you too, Princess Camilla!”

“Now we must spend some sisterly time together. You're going to be part of our family in a few years.” Camilla pulled away slightly, arms still wrapped around her shoulders and looking down at her over her chest.

“Of course!” Sakura said quickly. “Wonderful! My retainers have been preparing activities for us!”

Ryoma, sensing his sister's rising panic and remembering the Nohrian etiquette lessons both Leo and Xander had taught him, stepped to Camilla's side and offered his arm. Camilla smiled widely, released the princess and looped her own through it.

“Shall I take you on a tour of the castle?” he offered while they walked forward.

“Please, but first you must take me to your lovely wife and child.”

“Of course. We are actually expecting another very soon.”

“Really? What splendid news to be greeted with!”

So they talked on as they went through the castle doorway. The remaining occupants of the courtyard watched them disappear, then nearly every set of Hoshidon eyes turned to Leo. He groaned and covered his face with one hand while Sakura rushed to console him and assure him they'd get past the culture shock.

Niles had been holding back laughter but let it out as guards broke formation and made their way to their usual routines. He wished he was as unrestrained with his actions as Camilla was. Knowing she meant no harm and it was just her way of greeting those she deemed dear to her was insider knowledge he wouldn't be sharing, it was more fun for him to watch everyone scramble to understand her.

One of the wyverns landed in a cleared space of the courtyard. Beruka smoothly jumped from it's back, scanned the layout, then walked towards Niles.

“You're daughter is in another carriage. It will arrive in a few minutes.”

“Thank you, Beruka. As steadfast as always, I see.”

She nodded.

“Beruka!” Oboro called, face lighting up and running towards her, weaving through the dispersing guards. “I'm so happy you came!”

Beruka, much to Niles fascination, paused and her face twitched briefly into something other than neutrality when she spotted Oboro.

“Oboro, did you like the brochures I sent you?” she asked, eyes fixed on the other woman when she approached.

“I did! They were wonderful! I made you some Hoshidon clothes I hope you'll like as thanks,” the other woman replied, elation evident in her whole posture.

“I'm sure I'll treasure them,” she said.

Niles walked away while filing away his new knowledge of Beruka away. He felt somewhat validated there was a reason his crude flirtations with her had always been ignored, figuring he should've worked out she preferred soft pastries after his jokes about thick sausages only got him promises of death.

He walked out the gate of the courtyard right as a less impressive carriage was pulling up. Former jokes forgotten, his heart slammed suddenly and loudly in his chest. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as it stopped. Staff scrambled off to begin unloading the piles of luggage, and a coachman eventually remembered to open the door and offered a hand to Nina as she climbed out.

At five now, she was taller than he last saw her, was his first thought, then a follow up about how skinny she had become with growth. Her platinum hair had gotten longer and was now tied back in two ponytails.

She was looking around the surroundings with uncertainty. Both of them startled when he called her name. Blinking while trying to remember him, she eventually walked forward, coming to a stop before him with her hands held together in front of her.

“Hello, Nina,” he said softly down to her.

“Hi, dad.” She paused. “How have you been?”

“I've been well. Are you excited to live in Hoshido?”

“I'm not sure.” She paused again. “I'm glad you wanted me to come.”

He nodded, kneeling down in front of her and putting his hands on her shoulders. “I'm glad you're here. Sorry it took me so long.”

She nodded.

Nina was reserved with him the first evening she came back. Niles, ignorantly presuming it would go away by the morning, gave her space and spoke with her distantly while he helped pick food for her plate. She wasn't a fan of sushi, as no one seemed to be when they first arrived in Hoshido. He found that out while fondly watching her pull a face as she bit delicately into the raw salmon and rice.

At Leo's advice they had a more intimate feast for the family and retainers to celebrate Camilla's arrival. She told them all about how Xander's efforts were going with repairing unity in the country, how Elise had been visiting the small towns with healers and doctors to help those in need. She spent a good deal of time explaining how she herself had opened and funded several orphanages with staff she trusted. Staff she trusted not to inflict abuse, went unsaid.

Rinkah let her fawn over her body but gave strict instructions not to touch her. Camilla respected her request and it didn't slow her down at all, instead she'd coo at her belly and clack her purple nails together in excitement while talking to her. She'd then turn her attention to Azura and Shigure, doting over him and stroking the air absently because she wasn't allowed to stroke his ears.

“Oh, and I must say how much we all loved the Hoshidon clothing you sent us a while back,” Camilla started and fixed her attention entirely on Ryoma. “The robe you sent me is just splendid, I can't decide if I want to wear it or hang it on a wall.”

Ryoma's eyes lit up. “I received a reply from Xander expressing his gratitude, though hearing first-hand the gifts were appreciated is always reassuring.”

Camilla's smile sharpened. “And that cloth you sent him? What was that all about?”

“A tenugui,” Ryoma eagerly explained and lowered his chopsticks. “I was told a Nohrian expression of friendship is to give a personal accessory. I hope I didn't overstep any boundaries in sending such a gift to King Xander.”

Camilla's whole body very subtly relaxed and she wondered which servant she would have to verbally thrash. “Of course not. Why he was so delighted that you made the effort.” She left out that it had him sighing for the rest of week and she'd often find him holding it in his free hand while doing paperwork. “You know Xander has just gotten engaged.”

He'd become engaged to a high-ranking noblewoman he barely knew, whose family's coffers would benefit the kingdom rebuilding effort.

“Really?” Ryoma was immediately ecstatic for his friend. “Congratulations are in order! How wonderful for him!”

“Yes,” she said and rested her cheek on her hand. “I thought you'd say something like that.”

It was a very pleasant night overall. Eventually the parents bowed out early, something that annoyed Niles because he wanted to stay and keep listening to Camilla's story about pummelling two noblemen who'd been extorting funds from some of the poorer areas of Windmire. Nina's eyes were drooping though and he told himself this was what he was signing up for.

She only nodded to his questions while he lead her to their quarters. She didn't need Niles' help to get dressed any more and changed into her dressing gown without his assistance.

He said goodnight, gave her a hug, then slid her door closed. He wondered if she would be alright if he left and rejoined the party, then quickly reminded himself that wasn't the responsible thing to do. Instead he sat at his table and made plans for what they should do tomorrow.

Nina awoke the next morning just as Niles was returning with breakfast. She groggily looked at the offering before asking if there was any toast.

“That isn't quite what they eat here,” he gently explained. “There are a few Nohrian chefs living in Hoshido though. So we might be able to get some later.”

She liked her breakfast better the sushi, nibbling hesitantly at the egg and rice before eating it with gusto.

Niles gave her a tour of the castle that morning, highlighting all the best areas the kids played in. She looked at the white walls with trepidation, though he didn't miss the way her eyes followed the decorative jewellery or ornaments. He hoped she hadn't inherited his perchance for thievery.

He lead her to a balcony on one of the higher levels of the castle to show the view and Camilla was already there, hands on the railing and staring at the green valleys and mountains. Already taken with Hoshidon fashion, she was wearing a grey kimono.

“Princess Camilla!” Nina shouted and ran over, smile wide on her face.

“Is that Nina?” she teased and spun around.

“Yes!”

Camilla had doted heavily upon Nina throughout the journey, something Leo correctly guessed and warned Niles about, stating he may not know what exactly they had been up to but to expect her maternal side to have been in full effect. The only concern this brought was if Niles could live up to the attention she'd received over the journey.

The two of them chatted to each other with clear fondness. The longer it went on the the more uncomfortable Niles became. Nina had only displayed flat emotion in his presence since she arrived, all it took was a month and a half of travel with Camilla to get her smiles and laughter.

“I'm heading to a hot spring and then getting fitted for some clothes,” Camilla explained while smiling at her.

“Can I come?” Nina asked and stood on her toes, hands clenched to her chest.

“Would that be okay, Niles?” Camilla asked and fluttered her eyes at him.

“Sure, I'm always up for a dip in the hot springs.”

Camilla's smile tightened. “Actually, dear, I'm afraid I'm heading to the women only baths with Beruka.”

“Dad, pleeease can I go?” Nina whined and looked over at him.

Niles' stomach dropped. He forced himself to return Camilla's smile. “If that's what you want to do.”

“Yay!” She bounced on her feet and faced Camilla.

“We'll have lunch together though, right?” he asked.

“Mmm-”

“Of course you will,” Camilla said for her. “It might be a little late, but I'll get her back to you.”

“Aw, can't we have lunch together?” she asked up.

“No, darling, you have lunch with your father.” The princess patted her head in sympathy. “In the pink dining room on the third floor? The one I saw with the cherry tree design.”

Niles nodded, then walked away muttering a goodbye, face falling as he turned. He walked through the castle without thoughts, just rising dread. It started as a sinking in his stomach then rose to a nervous fluttering in his chest.

He kept walking and eventually the thoughts arrived.

He remembered being abandoned by his parents and thinking at certain times how it was for the best because of how abysmal they were at rising a child, then he turned it on himself and believed he should've done the same. Then he told himself he should never have brought her to Hoshido and instead left her with her caretakers, only exchanging letters.

He thought of how she hadn't even been with him for twenty four hours and she'd already ditched him for someone she preferred. Then he realised she liked spending time with someone else over him, then he believed she didn't like spending time with him at all.

He kept wondering what Camilla did that endured her so quickly when he was her father and couldn't even get a smile out of her. He then realised Nina didn't even look happy to see him again when she saw him yesterday.

That instilled an all new fear in him that he was already too late and she longer wanted or needed him. That he was only the one who helped create her, but she didn't need him to grow up happily, that she might in fact be happier if he wasn't around at all.

“Niles,” Subaki called to his left.

Niles looked at him numbly.

“This is the third time I've seen you pass this corridor in the last half an hour.” He was wearing his gear, nagitata lowered next to him. Softly, he asked, “Is everything all right?”

Niles thought of the way Nina smiled so brightly at Camilla. “I shouldn't have brought her here.”

“Niles,” Subaki pulled him into a small, adjacent corridor. “What happened?”

“She doesn't want to spend time with me. She hasn't even smiled at me yet.” He gestured at nothing and shrugged. “She left me the first opportunity she got.”

Subaki's heart broke for him. Reaching forward and placing a hand on his cheek, he looked into his eye. “Just be there for her. Be a constant presence.”

“I can't do this.”

“Yes, you can,” he promised. “We can. I'll be here to help you through this.”

Niles held the hand on his cheek. Subaki let it happen, stroking his thumb over his dark skin.

“Don't give up, Niles. Give it time, months if you have to.”

He took a deep breath and nodded.

“When are you seeing her next?”

“I said I'd see her for lunch. She seemed keener to spend it with Camilla though so I might bow out.”

“No,” Subaki said firmly. “Keep your promises of spending time with her. Even if she seems unenthusiastic about it, don't let up.”

Niles nodded and pulled his chin forward for a kiss. Subaki returned it, then swatted his hand when it tried to go down past his chest.

“Not now,” he hissed. “I know sex helps you cope with things but I'm meant to be organising medical supplies for Sakura.”

Niles groaned and settled for huffing into his neck. “Later. Please. I need it.”

Subaki kissed his cheek. “When we can.”

Niles felt more grounded as they parted. He still felt a little numb to everything and decided to pick up a book from his room then head to the dining room early.

He told the staff there his daughter and possibly Princess Camilla would be joining him eventually and only asked for a small snack and green tea in the meantime. He had to trust that Camilla would keep her word and bring Nina to lunch.

His trust was rewarded when Camilla appeared in the doorway with a smiling and flushed Nina. They were holding hands and Niles unknowingly rubbed his own together.

Lunch went well. Camilla only sat Nina down then disappeared with the excuse that she had to see Leo.

He started by asking how their morning was together and Nina excitedly told him about the new kimono Oboro was making her.

Her enthusiasm calmed him and he heard Subaki's voice promising that he would be able to do this.

He kept a routine. He meditated on the same days, they went into town at the same intervals, they ate with certain people on certain days. At Hinata's advice he explained to Nina when he was working she wasn't to bother him unless he initiated it, but ensured he was there when she woke up in the morning and when she went to sleep at night. If something would keep him away he would tell her beforehand.

He kept forgetting her at first. He'd get offers of heading into town, initially accept them and then remember he had Nina.

“Sorry, got a kid to take care of,” he'd often say.

He couldn't judge them for grousing that he was no fun any more as he'd once been them complaining about parenthood stealing all his friends' free time.

It was rough on Niles at first. He was used to doing what he wanted when he wanted – provided Subaki was available – now he had another human being to consider at all times. He began to resent his situation in the first few weeks, then told himself he was in his current position because he wanted it in the first place and if he really didn't want to be a parent he should've dropped her off at an orphanage when she was a baby.

“This situation is because of no one else but you,” he told a mirror while shaving, having skipped out on what was a glorious evening of drinking with guards the night before.

Doubt would regularly spring up as she kept the same indifferent attitude towards him. The recurring thought that he should've stayed out of her life looped through his mind on days when he felt he was making no progress. When it was especially bad Leo would sigh and tell him to keep at it and she would warm up to him eventually. So he stuck with the routine.

His first true taste of being a parent and instead of essentially a glorified roommate was a struggle for him.

“Dad?” she called to him from their lounge room.

“Yes?” he called back and didn't move from reading on his futon.

“Can we go into town tomorrow for a play?”

“Sorry, sweetheart, I'm too busy right now.”

The queen had just given birth to another boy, in a striking comparison to his brother this one arrived bearing Ryoma's brown hair and Rinkah's dark skin. For the first time in months all the retainers had been given duties outside of their daily routines and were making celebratory arrangements or finding spots for gifts that had been received.

Nina pulled herself up from her drawing, walked through his doorway and to the foot of his bed, charcoal stick still in hand.

“But its only going to be on for the next week and I really want to see it.”

Niles only then realised what he was facing. He took a moment to prepare himself, then lowered the list of Nohrian baby gifts he had to sort through and looked at her.

“I know, sweetheart, but no one care spare the time. We're all too busy because of the new prince.”

She pouted, trying to make her father see her view on how easy it would to slip away from work for a few hours. “But its only going to be on for a week. Can't I go with Camilla?”

“We can ask her, but she's also busy with the child.”

“But, daaad...”

When that came out, it solidified for Niles that he was in for a rough time.

“I really want to.”

“I understand, but I can't pull myself away from work. I'm not allowed to.”

“But it's only going to be on for a week! I won't be able to see it again!” she implored and tightened her grip on the charcoal.

“Nina, I'm sorry, we can't. I'm sure though that play will be performed again, we can see it another time.”

Her pout exaggerated and she spun on her heels, ponytails flicking behind her and left his room, closing the door behind her and making his room dark.

Niles sighed.

She was cold to him for the rest of the day and Niles did the only thing he thought was right, he left her alone. To his immense surprise, she got over it by the following day and would only be moody temporarily when she'd remember it, then come up with a multitude of reasons why he should abandon his work and instead take her to town, then abruptly shift back into an better attitude. He was used to adults holding grudges for weeks at a time and was unsure how to handle the sudden mood changes children could go through. When a week had passed and the play had finished its run in town she became huffy again for the day. He wondered if she would be like this for the rest of his life.

At Camilla and Subaki's advice he made it up to her. Another Hoshidon theatre group was going to put on a play at the royal palace in honour of the new baby and Niles, beginning to trust Ryoma's kindness, asked for a favour.

Nina's jaw had dropped when he'd lead her to a front row seat of the play, right next to Ryoma and Shiro. She didn't care that she was sitting next to the king of Hoshido, only that she had one of the best spots for the show.

“Thank you, dad!” she said to him afterwards while they walked back to their rooms and she took the initiative to reach out and hold his hand. “Wasn't that just amazing? It was so weird! It was kind of weird but really cool! And Shiro really liked it too. Shiro is Ryoma's son and he said we can go to plays together. Ryoma said its fine and he won't mind taking me with them, and he said you can take Shiro and me when he can't go. Can we do that sometime, dad?”

“Of course!” he replied and thought tonight was so much better than a year ago when he'd last taken her to a play. “I'd love to do that.”

“Yay!” She bounced and held his hand tighter. She smiled all the way back while she chatted on about her favourite parts of the play.

As gradual as the season changing Nina opened up to him. She started putting forward suggestions for things she wanted to do with him and places they could visit. She had followed his instructions at first because she didn't know where she stood with her father, then became comfortable enough around him to grumble at his rules.

When she started regularly testing her boundaries as any child did it caused ugly impulses in Niles. When she would keep complaining or arguing about minor things and he didn't know how to calm the situation down, the part of him he'd inherited from his mother would try to take control and he'd get an urge to slap her across the face. He never even considered doing it, but it disturbed him that parenting technique was trying to make itself known.

More than once he'd have to compose himself when the sudden violent thought would arise. After the situation with Nina was resolved, he'd lie on his bed, staring at his ceiling and panic that he could even think of harming his daughter that way.

Eventually, those impulses waned within him because he refused to indulge them. Only after they were on their way out did he admit to Subaki the urges he would get and why.

“I'm so proud of you,” Subaki reassured and kept kissing his cheek.

They were lying on his bed, Niles on his back with Subaki draped across him, both fully geared up as Subaki had happened to wander in on the tail-end of an argument Niles was having with Nina about her not being allowed to try and climb the rooftops like the ninja. The urge hadn't made itself known during the argument, but he had been uncertain if he'd handled it appropriately, which lead to him speaking to Subaki about it all.

“So many parents have hit their children as an easy way to control them, you aren't one of them.”

“But I still got the urge to do it,” he admitted and stroked the arm across his chest.

“And you didn't do it, you controlled yourself because you know its wrong.” Subaki took his chin and turned Niles' face to him. “Niles, abuse is the only parenting style you were raised with. Don't feel bad because you're having a harder time adjusting to parenthood than those with happier childhoods. You're making and following through with effort to be better. Be proud of that, not ashamed.”

Like that, the blackness in Niles' mind was cut through completely by Subaki, and Niles realised then he was well and truly in love and how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life together with him.

The day Nina asked her father how to use a bow Niles was ecstatic and thought of all the progress he'd made in the three months since she'd arrived. The next day he expressed his gratitude by smiling all throughout his morning meditation with Ryoma, following a terrified-by-his-mood Leo's orders to the letter, and grabbing Subaki first chance he got at night and showing him how grateful he really was.

“Something good happened, I take it?” Subaki asked in between pants while he tried to recover from his partner's show of appreciation. He had a hand on his forehead, face as red as his hair and body covered with fine sweat.

Niles, filled to the brim with stamina and joy, merely responded by grinning and pulling the other man close to him for another round.

When Camilla announced her departure a few days later Nina was disappointed, but not as gutted as Niles had expected her to be. She still made her displeasure known and pouted throughout most of farewell dinner.

“I'll miss you, dear,” Camilla reassured and held her cheeks in her hands. “I can't stay here forever though. I need to see Corrin in Valla next, then I'm back home for Xander's wedding.”

“Please give Xander my apologies for only being able to send a gift,” Ryoma added at that point. “I understand Nohrian weddings are a social affair and friends and diplomats are supposed to attend.”

Camilla fixed her smile. “No apologies are necessary. I think it would be best if you didn't go. After all, our nations are still so fragile,” was the lie she gave and he believed.

“I'll be going with her,” Oboro announced.

The room went silent, even the guards at the entrances all stared at her.

“I'll be going with Princess Camilla to Nohr. To open a clothing shop.”

Everyone barring Camilla and Beruka were ready to fall off their chair.

“That's right, I've spent many evenings chatting with Oboro about her clothing talents and I'm going to fund a store right in Windmire,” Camilla explained. “Hoshidon clothing is considered very exotic in Nohr and I know her shop will do amazingly.”

“Oboro, are you sure?” Takumi asked, wondering if Camilla had put a spell on her.

“Don't worry, I won't be there forever,” Oboro reassured. “I want to return to Hoshido some day. But in the meantime, I'm looking forward to doing this.”

“I'll also be with her to help,” Beruka added.

Niles had seen Oboro and Beruka progress from staring at each other from across rooms, to holding hands, then to eventually sharing quarters. He didn't know how things for them would pan out, but he certainly hadn't expected Oboro to willingly move to Nohr. He was just as shocked as everyone else. He quickly grew disappointed as well, realising he would miss her.

Takumi and Hinata were forlorn at losing her, yet both wished her all the best in Nohr the morning of her departure and sent her off with smiles. Niles went a different route and told her to keep her face in check otherwise she'd get wrinkles young and received a friendly punch to the arm for it.

Subaki's introduction into Niles' family dynamic came four months after Nina's arrival, then took another two months of gradual integration. It started with Subaki and Caeldori eating with them more than once a week as they had in their original routine, then built up into them doing things around the town and castle more often.

To both Niles' and Subaki's relief their children got along wonderfully. Nina had learned the best areas to sneak through the castle and would often show them to Caeldori. Caeldori, despite being so young, was already becoming a mirror image of her father and in turn was helping Nina learn customs. Nina admired Caeldori despite the two years she had on her.

Niles eventually found the courage to ask his daughter if she wouldn't mind Subaki and Caeldori in her life more often.

“How?” she asked with big, blinking eyes.

“Well...” Niles cursed the laws, he would've married Subaki just to make things easier to explain. “You're the most important person in my life. But Subaki also means a great deal to me. I want to spend more time with him and you both.”

Her delicate eyebrows frowned. “We spend a bunch of time with them already.”

“We do, but I want to spend more time with him. Maybe even one day all of us, Caeldori included, can live in the same quarters.”

“But why?”

“You know how in the fairy tales there's often a prince to fall in love with?” he recited, having already rehearsed this speech in his head several times.

“Yeah.”

“Subaki is my prince and I've fallen in love with him, so I want to live with him eventually.”

Nina's eyebrows furrowed further, dubious of the claim. “But you're both boys.”

“We are. Boys can love each other too like men and women can.” He didn't realise he was slowly rubbing the palms of his hands together.

“But why?”

“Because that's how some people are, sweetheart. Its the same for girls, sometimes they fall in love with each other instead of men.”

She was a little uncertain of his words, feeling if there was truth in them she would've read about it in a book or seen it in a play. None the less, she decided to believe her father. “Does this mean Subaki will take me riding on his pegasus more?”

Niles let out his breath, shoulders relaxing. “I'm sure he'd love to.”

Then her eyes sparkled, remembering all the intricacies of stories she'd read about princes. “Are you going to kiss him?”

Niles froze. “Yes, I imagine I will.”

He didn't know what to make of his daughter's delighted expression.

The following morning Niles found Subaki waiting outside Sakura's quarters, gear donned for a day out with his liege. He crept up behind him and got a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I spoke with Nina, I don't think she fully gets it but she's open to us,” he murmured into his cheek, and only once the words were out did he realise what weight off his shoulders it was.

Subaki leaned back into his embrace, back to his chest. “Wonderful. I've talked with Caeldori a little about it, she's open to having you and Nina in our lives more.”

“Mmmm... I think tonight's a night to leave them to the caretakers...”

Subaki laughed. “That happy, are you?”

Several things happened in Castle Shirasagi the following month. Niles, Subaki, Caeldori and Nina all moved into a larger living quarters to share, Azura announced she was pregnant again despite still having a babe on her breast and Hana started training Hisame daily in swordplay.

The castle was becoming livelier each year and the families inside it were living peacefully and joyfully.

One of many blissful mornings soon after Niles and Subaki were preparing to take their children to a day in the town, promising food and news toys.

“It might be late when we return,” Subaki noted while pulling a hanten over his shoulders. “We'll probably wind up carrying those two back.”

“Yeah,” Niles said with a smile. “I can see that happening.”