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It wasn’t that school was remarkably difficult, only it kind of was. Maybe a little. Or maybe it was just adjusting to everything that really was the issue. Not all that surprisingly, Jared and Jensen managed to get along in their dorm without too much of an issue. Jensen was just pleased that the fights they did have were over things like don’t put that poster up there and for god’s sake Jared put your laundry IN the basket.
They were things Jensen could really learn to live with.
There was a lot to learn about being in school, being in the real world, living outside the comfort and familiarity of his own home. At first Jensen thought it was just the little things, missing his family, not having food constantly at hand, having to share a bathroom with thirty other boys. Then it was a lot more than that. It didn’t take him long to figure out that he was completely, one hundred percent responsible for himself.
Well, almost. Jared had already long since adjusted to doing things on his own; he was mostly independent by nature. Jensen on the other hand had to learn a whole new level of self motivation. Because, in college? No one cared if you did your homework or not. You did it and got a grade or you didn’t and they kicked you out for failing. With so many students, the teachers didn’t have time to spend focused in on each student like they did in high school.
Jensen hadn’t ever thought he would miss that, but he did.
It was odd too, the way the dynamics of his relationship with Jared continued to shift. They had a couple of core classes together but Jared was still undecided about his major and Jensen was thinking about going into something with editing so he was taking some more difficult English classes. And, weirdly enough, Jensen was finding it more difficult to make friends than he thought it would be.
In high school he had sports and the privilege of knowing his peers for practically his entire life. Then he had Jared and Chris and Sandy; he was never really alone. Now though, he found that without Jared around, making friends was up to him alone. He couldn’t talk to people during class and then after class his main priority was to get to Jared, it made making a connection a little more difficult.
Not to mention, no matter how much it might make anyone who knew him laugh, Jensen was shy. But it was the kind of shy that made people think he was being an asshole and that really wasn’t the case at all. Jensen just didn’t really know how to start up a conversation because the main things he cared about in life ended up being Jared, then movies, Jared some more, than books. His interests were a bit limited to say the least.
Which was why it all sort of blew up in his face one day.
Jared was popular. Not like, campus it boy or something but he’d come out of his shell on the college grounds. Jensen didn’t blame people for liking him so much, he had a warm and friendly smile, he’d always offer help if someone asked him, and well, he was charming. It was all the things that had won Jensen over, his goofy little qualities, his occasional klutziness, and the way he made you feel like you were the only person alive when you were with him.
Jensen knew it was all of these things that made him love Jared, so he wasn’t jealous of the fact that Jared had more friends, or knew more people, he was simply... well, a little lonely. He’d never anticipated classes being so time consuming, and no matter how much they’d tried to time their schedules right, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday Jared had a later afternoon class which gave Jensen two hours of solitude he didn’t really want. It also usually meant he was done with his homework and would want all Jared’s attention when Jared would come home with his own work and be forced to focus.
Really it would all come down to finding the right groove but Jensen didn’t have the patience for it like he should. The busier they got - as the semester progressed - the crappier Jensen felt. Even the weekends seemed to constantly be caught up with welcome back to school parities, than fall parties, Halloween parties, homework and studying and showing their parents around when they drove out for a visit.
So Jensen got it in his mind one Friday near the end of October that he wanted to spend the entire weekend with just Jared. He wanted to lock them up in their dorm room and tell Jared’s new friends to leave them alone for awhile and just soak up them. Yeah it was selfish, yeah he had his boyfriend to himself every night and he should be happy with that, but Jensen was past the point of caring. He just wanted to lie in Jared’s arms and get back to the basics. Just for a little while.
And then of course, his entire mood had to be thrown off and his mind had to explode with all these stupid thoughts all because of, what should have been, one innocent little tweet.
There wasn’t really any way for Jensen to explain what happened, how his heart had twinged and clenched and hurt. It was ridiculous because Jared hadn’t even meant it that way; it had just been a joke. For some reason though, Jensen felt the reality of it like a slap in the face.
Here they were, in the middle of gorgeous San Francisco, surrounded by gorgeous people on all sides and his boyfriend liked them all. Not like that but he’d never been just gay. He liked girls too. It was like, twice the competition. And Jensen wasn’t charming and funny and popular, whenever Jared introduced him to his new friends he always ended up saying something that made him look like a jerk. Then it would get all awkward and Jared would have to jump in and save him. Every time it happened Jared insisted that it wasn’t Jensen’s fault, he apologized for putting him on the spot, and Jensen felt the bite of guilt.
Packing up his books, Jensen shoved them roughly into his bag and shook his head. He was stupid to ask for a weekend with just Jared. They should go to parties, be out there, Jared looked so happy and alive and Jensen had to learn how to get over his social awkwardness. He could have sworn he wasn’t as bad at this in high school, so there had to be an alternative way to make it better.
By the time his phone beeped again with another tweet Jensen was already out the door. He smiled at Tom and nodded as he walked past him in the hall then ducked his head down, shouldering the front door of the dorm open and heading for the library.
It wasn’t that Jared thought he’d done something monumentally stupid; he generally knew when he’d done that. That usually involved him saying something without thinking - Jensen often referred to it as a Jaredism. No filter. Really. Why would he have a filter around Jensen? He adored Jensen and didn’t care to have any secrets at all from him.
The flowers, the partially eaten bag of chocolate kisses (he got hungry on the way back to the dorm room), the poster - it was just because Jared absolutely hated when Jensen was sad about anything at all.
It might not have been the smartest thing to have joked about looking at guys. Jared knew that Jensen was a little insecure. It was absolutely amazing that a guy like Jensen could be insecure about anything. He was stunning, he was funny, charming, sweet and a million other words that would make Jensen blush a hundred shades of red if he actually heard Jared say them.
Putting the poster down on Jensen’s desk, Jared flattened the bag of chocolate kisses and tried to even out the contents so it didn’t look like he’d eaten quite as many.
There was already a vase on Jensen’s desk. Jared liked bringing his boyfriend flowers. It was something he did regularly, flowers, just something that would let Jensen know he’d thought about him on the way home. These flowers were roses. They’d cost a little more than Jared usually spent, hell, sometimes he picked the flowers if he could find a sweet little old lady with a garden he could raid. He’d just smile sweetly and say they were for his boyfriend. Usually he came away with a bunch of them.
Sinking down onto the edge of their bed Jared smiled. Their bed. That never got old. He’d wired the bed frames together in the end so that they could lay Jensen’s foam across both mattresses. It was like having a kingsize lovenest. Love.
The only bad thing about Jensen being a little insecure was that Jared spent a lot of time trying to figure out how he could love Jensen more. Jared had the crazy theory that if he could love Jensen enough - then everything would work out.
If if didn’t work out - there could be more flowers, and more holding, and sweet talking. Jared would do anything for his boyfriend. Anything. Just thinking about that brought a smile to his face.
Jensen wasn’t really that surprised when his crappy day escalated to major fail the moment he stepped into the library. Or, more precisely, the moment he stepped into a tall blond that was standing just inside the library. Jensen slammed against the man, head shooting up as his eyes widened. “Shit. Sorry.” The guy looked a little familiar but Jensen couldn’t place his name.
“Jensen, whatcha doin’ man? Only people who study come to the Library.” The blond slung his arm over Jensen’s shoulder and tugged him in closer. “There’s a hot guy who works here on this shift.”
“Uh, cool.” Jensen nodded, grabbing his backpack strap tighter and glancing over at the guy. That was right; he was a friend of Jared’s. This was bad, Jensen was pretty sure he’d met him more than once at parties; he was in a few of Jared’s classes. “Hot guy huh?” Jensen fumbled, stalling for time to get his mind to catch up and give the guy a name. “You like guys?”
Throwing his head back the man laughed and slapped Jensen on the back. “God, Jared’s right you are funny. Fucker talks about you all the time. It’s kind of sickening.” He snorted and narrowed his gaze at Jensen. “You don’t remember me do you?”
Jensen flushed and used the slight stall in their steps to break away from the man’s touch, promptly backing into a desk and hissing. He rubbed along his side and sighed, looking up at the man with a slight shrug. “Sorry. I don’t. I should, but I- it’s not a good day.” He couldn’t really tell if the guy was being sarcastic or not and Jensen kind of wanted to turn and run.
“Chad.” He stuck his hand out. “We met at Mike’s party a while back. Somewhere else too but I can’t remember. You okay?” Chad’s expression softened slightly.
“Yeah, I’m cool. Mike, that was uh, the, light haired one?” Jensen forced a smile, sliding along the table a little and glancing away. Maybe he had a people phobia. It wasn’t like he could think of any reason not to like this Chad guy, but he’d rather Jared be here facilitating things for a little while. Until he got more comfortable. “You gonna ask the hot guy out?”
Shrugging Chad hopped up onto the table beside Jensen. “It can wait. Why you having a bad day?”
“I don’t, I can’t really talk- I mean, I can, well obviously. I just, I’m not very good at-” Jensen ran his palm down his face and sighed, taking a step back and away from Chad and forcing a smile. “Just got a lot of homework. Nice running into you, I’ll tell Jared, I mean, you’ll probably see him this weekend. At the thing. There’s a thing right? There’s always a thing.”
“A thing. Okay. Sure.” Chad frowned then shook his head and smiled. “Jensen, you’re an interesting dude. We should hang out. You know when ... you can talk.”
“Um. Okay.” Jensen nodded swiftly and turned, heading quickly into the library. It wasn’t the most scarring of incidents he’d ever had but he was pretty sure Chad probably thought he was insane. He was, kind of. Mostly.
On the way up the stairs Jensen tripped - apparently Jared was rubbing off on him in more ways than one - and by the time he’d found a private table at the back of the library he pretty close to bashing his head in the table. That sparked the first of a bad series of tweets he supposed.
Not a lot of people would get Jensen’s complex, hell he barely got it. In high school he’d been pretty decently popular with football and everything, then coming out of the closet with Jared; it had certainly kept him out there in the so-called public eye. But that was the thing; it was all just an illusion. After all, it may have seemed like he was popular but the only people Jensen had more than a superficial acquaintances with was Sandy, Chris and Jared. Chris had been his best friend for years, Jared was his absolute world and that was a given, and Sandy had sort of come as part of the complete package.
Other than that, he’d never been very social. He’d head to deal with being seventeen, a football player, and crushing majorly on a basketball player. That was complicated enough. He didn’t need to add the politics and drama of more friends and because of it he hadn’t really polished up on his social skills. So now he was just, weird, quiet, and trying to get over the self image he could never seem to shake.
Jensen, needed a brain transplant, and Jared was an absolute saint for even bothering to put up with him for any length of time. Which was once more why he was here and really having twitter was a bad thing. He really shouldn’t be allowed near it without Jared’s permission or something. Jensen was just relieved he wasn’t crying in the library.
The walk back to the dorm was long and a little tortuous for Jensen whose mind was running in so many directions at once he felt dizzy. And he was pretty sure he’d pushed it with Jared, so he wasn’t completely sure what he was going home to. Admittedly though, Jared would make him feel better once they’d talked it all out and Jensen knew this which was why he didn’t delay his return.
For a moment just outside the room he stopped, gripping the door knob hard before sighing and shaking his head. He pushed forward, slipping inside the room and shutting the door almost silently behind him, leaning against it. He didn’t look up, frowning down at the floor instead. It wasn’t like he didn’t know that Jared was there, sometimes it felt like he could just feel him in the room.
“Hey,” he muttered quietly, half tossing his backpack across the room to his desk.
Jared’s heart was thudding a little faster than normal. God. What a message to get on twitter. Better off without me. Nothing would be better about losing Jensen. “I don’t get you,” he said softly, looking down at his hands.
“Alright.” Jensen nodded and bit down on his lip. He felt the sharp prick of tears at his eyes but a deep breath through his nose seemed to will them back and he pushed off the door, heading for his bag and something to do. “Sorry, I was- it’s nothing. I’m good. How was class?”
“Will I ever be able to convince you? That I love you and that if you leave my life would... it would be shit, Jensen.” Jared couldn’t look up. His hands were shaking. If he couldn’t convince Jensen that they were exactly the right match, that there was no other person for him, what happened then?
“It’s not like that.” Jensen paused halfway toward picking up his backpack and slowly straightened, turning to look at Jared. He should have looked when he’d first come in. Jared looked, kind of wrecked. Jensen felt wracked with guilt and he lurched forward, not stopping until he was kneeling on the bed beside his boyfriend. “It’s not that at all. It’s not that I think you’ll leave me, it’s- come on Jared. You could have anyone so I don’t get why you want me. I know you’re, god you’re amazing and for some crazy reason I get to be lucky enough to have you.”
Jensen grabbed Jared’s hands and pressed closer, suddenly a little terrified by how he was making his boyfriend look. “This is stupid, how I was feeling about everything. I just, I miss my family. I miss Chris and Sandy; those were things I knew you know? I could deal with those things. But here, I’m just, fumbling and stupid. And you have all these friends, which is really good, but I wanted to be selfish and just keep you as mine for the weekend? Then it just got all out of hand, I ran into Chad and totally choked and I just-” Jensen inhaled deeply looking up with wide, watery eyes. “Please know that I know that you love me okay? And I couldn’t be luckier for it.”
“I just want you to be happy. I want-” Jared had to stop and clear his throat. “It’s hard, when you say things like that - it’s like I’m not enough, s’my job to fix things, make you happy and if I fuck that up...” Jared slipped his hand along Jensen’s cheek. “I miss our friends too but there are new people we can meet. They won’t replace them but ... I don’t know.” Sighing, Jared realized he wasn’t making a hell of a lot of sense.
“You’re right. I should try harder, stop over thinking everything.” Jensen nodded and sat back a little, twisting his legs out from under him so he could pull at his shoes and chuck them across the room. “I’ll work on it, starting, this weekend. There’s a thing right? Chad seemed like he thought there was a thing.” Jensen shrugged and pulled his socks off, trying to imagine the feelings in him and gather them up, store them in a box and hide them away. He didn’t want Jared to feel any of those bad things.
Jared shrugged. “I thought you said an us weekend. Can’t we do that?” It didn’t matter how much time they spent together Jared could never get enough. “Chad can wait. I want-”
“Yeah we can do that.” Jensen nodded, balling up his socks and tossing them toward his shoes. He stared at them on the floor for a long moment before looking toward Jared. “We could go see a movie. We haven’t done that since we moved here.” He hated this part of any disagreements or things they had, trying to find the balance between each other once more. Jensen felt even guiltier than he had before. “I’m sorry.”
“The thing is, I know you, Jensen. I know all this is still in your head, whirling around in there and makin’ you crazy. Is it gonna keep comin’ back to bite us in the ass?” Jared’s brow furrowed and he bit down on his bottom lip.
“I promise to not let it.” Jensen insisted and threaded his fingers together, staring down at them. “I’ll get over the awkward thing, just finding the new niche or something. It’ll be fine.” He half smiled over at his boyfriend, wishing now that he could just take it all back.
Jared tilted his head slightly, staring hard at Jensen. “How’d you meet Chris?”
“Elementary school. We sat at the same table in first grade. He kept stealing my brownie until finally I threw my cheese puffs at him, then he laughed and we became friends. Why?” Jensen frowned at Jared, dropping his gaze after a moment.
“Just wonderin’ I mean, obviously you can make friends. Chris loves you; he thinks you’re like the best person alive, well, next to Sandy. And me. I didn’t start all this ... us. You did this.” It hadn’t even really occurred to Jared before.
“Yoda did this, I mean, if you mean our relationship thing. And really only that because I had this stupid epic crush on you for like, years or something. Then you were all flirty and stuff. It was mutual starting.” Jensen’s hands flailed for a moment before he sighed and shook his head. “I get it Jared. I can make friends, I’m being ridiculous, I said I’d stop okay? I’m just not used to it and I’m not like you, I’m not naturally social. I’m sorry I let it get out of hand today; it won’t happen like that again. Okay?”
Nodding slowly, Jared frowned again. “Yeah, okay. But don’t just hide it, ‘cause that’s not the answer either. You always tell me what you’re feeling. Well, I think you do.” Running his hand through his hair Jared sighed.
“You said it yourself Jared, you don’t get me.” Jensen said then his eyes widened, shooting to Jared. “I didn’t mean to say it like that.” He whispered, scratching along his chest. “I think I just want to go to bed now.”
Jensen's words cut into Jared. Blinking a few times he felt the sting of tears in his eyes and looked away. "Okay, whatever you want."
Standing, Jared hesitated there for a moment. He wanted to just pull Jensen into his arms and make their conversation go away but it was kind of hanging there now, between them. Moving over to his desk Jared sank down heavily into his chair and picked up his pen, rolling it between his fingers.
“Okay.” Jensen whispered, completely unsure what to do for a moment. His potential reactions seemed to range from the immature - crying into his pillow or deleting his twitter - to the extreme - slipping back in his shoes and just, going for awhile. What he did though was stand and push off his jeans, kicking them across the room then tugging his shirt off.
They didn’t go to bed upset with each other, they didn’t have fights like these. So Jensen didn’t know what to do. He’d told Jared that he would try to make it better but it didn’t seem to be enough.
“So, well. Night then.” Jensen whispered again and the words caught in his throat. He slipped quickly under the blankets and decided option crying into the pillow was going to be the one to win out.
"I got you flowers," Jared said softly. "And chocolate kisses but I ate some. Tried to make it look like I didn't though. Guess I knew you wouldn't really mind." In spite of the sadness that was like a lead weight in Jared's stomach he smiled slightly.
“You’ll end up eating most of them anyway.” Jensen said quietly through his own slight smile. He could hear it in Jared’s voice and it was enough to get him to turn slightly, peeking at his boyfriend. “What kind of flowers this time?”
"Roses. Red. They mean love," Jared said. Putting the pen down he swung around a little on his chair so he could look over at Jensen. “I do get you," Jared said. "I didn't mean it when I said that." It made his heart ache a little to say it and he smiled sadly.
“I didn’t mean it when I said it either.” Jensen murmured and curled slightly in a ball, tilting so he could stare at his boyfriend. “I might be a little jealous that there are other people in your life too. It’s stupid, but I am. A little. But maybe I should just, you know, work more on trying to befriend the people you’ve met so we can hang out with them without me feeling this way.”
Sliding off the chair Jared padded over and stood by the bed for a moment before slipping out of his clothes. Wriggling under the cover he curled up on his side, a mirror of Jensen's pose, staring at him. "Do I spend enough time with you? I can be around more if you want." He smiled.
“I think I’m pretty selfish with your time already.” Jensen smiled sadly and slid his leg forward, letting it rest against Jared’s. “We’ve been kind of go, go, go since we moved here. I think I’m still kind of trying to catch up with it.”
"It's not selfish. I love spending time with you. You're pretty damn awesome." Rolling his bottom lip under his teeth, Jared studied Jensen's face for a few moments then reached out and curled his fingers over the man's neck. "What if we have a date night - every week. Just you and me. A movie, coffee, a walk in the park. Or we stay here and kiss for hours."
“That sounds nice,” Jensen murmured as he scooted a little bit closer. He felt like his heart was getting a little lighter, less painful, and his smile grew slightly. “And one weekend a month with no parties. I’m attempting to avoid the freshman fifteen.”
Laughing softly Jared slid his hand down over Jensen's shoulder and snagged his waist to pull him flush against his chest. "Parties only every second weekend and you've got a deal, I need my Jensen time." And Jared was starting to realize that maybe he did need to spend a bit more time with Jensen.
“And don’t make me spend time alone with Chad. He kind of scares me a little. Also, he has a crush on some guy at the library.” Jensen grinned at Jared and wrapped an arm around his back, laying his other hand over his boyfriend’s chest. “He said we should hang out more, there might have been a leer. You should probably be worried for me.”
Pressing his lips to Jensen's cheek, Jared chuckled. "He's harmless and I talk about you so much he probably feels like he knows you. You might have fun with him."
Jared's lips turned up into a smile, just barely a ghost of a touch against Jensen's cheek. "And if he touches you I'll kill him."
“And clearly that’s very threatening.” Jensen murmured, laughing when Jared huffed softly. He closed his eyes for a moment and soaked in how much better it felt to be like this before he pulled back a little, opening his eyes and smiling at Jared. “We’re good then?”
"We're always good, even when things are a bit crazy. Jensen, we're gonna disagree about things and we'll get through it every time. I promise. i promise you that." Jared matched his boyfriend's smile and leaned forward to catch Jensen's lips in a soft kiss.
“You know I mean good enough for, you know. That you’ll stay in bed with me, and we’ll have make up sex and stuff.” Jensen smiled against Jared’s lips then pushed forward, slipping his leg between Jared’s at the same time. His arm wrapped a little tighter around Jared because he always wanted him as close as possible.
Humming his agreement Jared tightened his arms around Jensen and hooked his leg over his boyfriend's thigh. "Oh, it was a very, very bad fight Jensen. It requires a great deal of makeup sex on your part. Maybe with you doing most of the work." Jared's voice was a bit rough and his smile widened.
Reaching behind him, Jared flicked off the lamp. "No point in giving anyone a show."
“Why am I doing the work? You’re the one who said you were checking out guys in class, even after I said I was doodling your name. And here I’d had all these plans about a nice romantic weekend together. I was crying in the library. So therefore, you do all the work.” Jensen laughed softly and dipped forward to nuzzle into Jared’s neck, pressing kisses to every inch of his skin.
"Seriously?" Jared laughed quietly and rolled them so he was lying along Jensen's body. His smile faded slightly as desire burned through him. Licking his lips he gazed down into Jensen's eyes, smoothing his boyfriend’s hair back. "We'll share the work," he whispered.
“We usually always do.” Jensen breathed softly before pushing up, crushing his lips against Jared’s. It was true; their sex life was the one thing Jensen was absolutely sure they’d never had disagreements on. They’d been together for a year and they’d never had issues there, thankfully. Jensen moaned into the kiss and slipped his hand through Jared’s hair, rocking his hips up, not that surprised that he was already mostly hard and more than a little eager.
Jared could feel all the tension melting away from his body. His mouth moved eagerly to meet each glide of his boyfriend's, his hands slid roughly down Jensen's sides. God, never enough of Jensen. Sucking in a quick breath he mouthed his way along Jensen's jaw then nipped at his ear lobe. "God, I want you," he growled.
The words effectively sparked heat in the pit of Jensen’s stomach and he shuddered, spreading his legs so Jared’s hips would line up better to his own. “Love when you say things like that.” He murmured softly and tilted his head back, arching up into Jared’s lips. “Want you to take me Jared, make my brain shut down.” He smirked slightly at the words, rocking his hips up once more.
Pulling back slightly Jared gazed down at his boyfriend. “Promise me,” he whispered. Rolling his hips down hard against Jensen’s he bit his bottom lip for a moment and let out a small puff of air. “No more, saying I’d be better off without you.” Smiling, Jared leaned down to kiss Jensen’s cheek, his temple, and nuzzle into his hair. “Promise.”
“I promise.” Jensen whispered and ran his hands slowly down Jared’s back, nails moving over his skin in a slow glide. “M’never gonna let you go.” Jensen hooked his leg around Jared’s, squeezing with a hard press and rolling his body up. He made a vow internally that next time he started feeling out of whack emotionally he would talk to Jared about it before it got out of hand. “How do you get me all worked up so fast?” He murmured, pressing up to capture Jared’s lips against his own.
"Secret Jared pheromones. Only works on Jensen’s." Jared was already panting softly because that was what Jensen did to him. "Sometimes, I get hard in class thinking about fucking you." He could feel himself blushing but he didn't care. The admission was well worth the look on Jensen face and the way his boyfriend's cock twitched between them.
“Jesus, there’s a thought. Those would be moments in which you should text me and, tell me about it.” Jensen gasped softly when Jared’s hips rolled against his, arching up off the bed just as quickly. “I do too you know, think about you during class. Favorite fantasy is us alone in a classroom and you bend me over, lick me out then fuck me over a desk.” Jensen shuddered slightly, knowing his face was as red as Jared’s but not caring.
"Ohgod." Jared sank down and sucked hard on the flesh just under his boyfriend's jaw. The heat radiating off Jensen's skin was amazing and Jared sucked and licked his way down lower until he could drag his lips along his boyfriend's collar bone.
Every time his lips moved he could feel the shift of Jensen's body beneath him; a wave of muscle and skin that sent heat flying through his system. "Gonna do that," he whispered. "Gonna find a way, get a key... fuck." Just talking about it was enough to make Jared’s cock swell and ache.
“Yeah, learn how to pick a lock.” Jensen gasped and pushed his body up harder, seeking more friction and heat. He just wanted Jared by this point, any and all of him, and the slow build between them was as maddening as ever. “Bet we could find a way. Bet Chad could, seems like the type.” Jensen laughed hoarsely and moaned when Jared’s lips slid over a sensitive spot on his neck. “Fuck me, Jared.”
Jared's stomach twisted as desire flooded through him. He never wanted to hear another person say that, never. "I'm gonna marry you one day, just 'cause you say things like that to me." Smiling, Jared slithered down Jensen's body, lips dragging along the skin. The taste of Jensen's skin, salty-sweet was like coming home.
Moaning low in his throat, Jensen ran his hands down Jared’s body. “Make sure, you say that in the vows.” Jensen laughed softly and spread his legs, far too eager for Jared to finish his descent down his body. His heart was swelling though, hearing Jared say things like gonna marry you was enough to make his entire body hum. “M’gonna marry you one day ‘cause you make my heart race without words and with them.” He laughed at his cheesy words, shaking his head slightly then trailing off in a moan.
Laughing softly, Jared let his tongue dart forward to flick into the dark heat of Jensen’s belly button. He loved the way it made Jensen’s body shudder, the way his boyfriend’s hands tightened just hard enough in his hair to hurt in the best possible way. Flicking his tongue across the downy hair on Jensen’s belly Jared moaned softly and settled between his boyfriend’s legs.
A deep breath of air assailed Jared’s senses with the scent of his lover, spicy and warm, all the smells he knew so well. Lingering only a moment longer Jared leaned down and dragged his tongue up the underside of his boyfriend’s hard shaft. The ripple of movement that skittered up Jensen’s body was gorgeous.
Moaning louder, Jensen dug his heels into the bed before arching his hips up into his boyfriend’s mouth. “Jared,” he gasped and threaded his fingers down through Jared’s hair, tightening his hold to encourage each movement. Sometimes he thought this enough was to make him lose control, a few gentle sweeps of an overheated tongue and he was nearly already whimpering and begging.
Leg hooking half around Jared’s back, Jensen tilted his head back in the pillow and rocked his body into the heat of Jared’s mouth. He couldn’t even remember why he’d felt bad before, Jared was the perfect remedy.
Slipping his hands under Jensen’s ass, Jared tightened his grip and held Jensen there. His tongue swept along the ridged flesh, hot and salty under his tongue. Nuzzling into the course hair at the base of Jensen’s cock, Jared smiled to himself when Jensen let out a sound that was remarkably close to a whimper. His own cock jumped at the sound and he moaned against Jensen’s rigid flesh starting off a new cascade of moans from both of them.
Pulling back slightly, Jared withdrew one hand and slid his palm up over Jensen’s belly, his chest to curl his fingers around the man’s throat just as he sank the wet ring of his lips down over hard flesh. Sucking in the taste of Jensen’s pre-come, swirling it in his mouth, Jared moaned and felt his boyfriend’s hips snap up.
“Fuck Jared.” Jensen gasped and sucked in a long, sharp breath, closing his eyes and opening them almost immediately. He wanted to watch, it was always better to watch. Pushing up on his elbows, Jensen stared bleary eyed down at his boyfriend, panting roughly as he watched Jared’s lips descending down over his skin. “God love watchin’ you like that, your lips on me.” He hummed the words, rocking his hips slowly up into Jared’s mouth, feeling nearly dizzy from the pleasure.
Humming softly, Jared’s tongue moved eel-like around Jensen’s cock. He sucked, licked and then grazed just the very tip of his teeth along Jensen’s flesh. Another burst of pre-come slid across Jared’s tongue and he moaned, tongue dipping briefly into the slit to chase the flavour.
Jensen was wild beneath him, rocking up, sagging back down, moaning, writhing and Jared loved it. He didn’t get to suck Jensen off very often; Jensen was always begging to be fucked. He was determined that he would get his way.
Fingers digging into Jensen’s ass, Jared sucked harder. Hollowing his cheeks, he swallowed, relaxing his throat and let Jensen thrust deep into his mouth.
The further Jared let his hips rock up the more Jensen felt his control slipping. He dropped down, his back falling onto the bed once more, hips driving up into his boyfriend’s mouth. The heat was vibrating over his skin and Jensen’s body twisted and writhed and rocked up to get deeper.
“Jared,” he gasped, tightening his hand in Jared’s hair as his hips snapped up. And Jared took it like a pro, relaxing his throat and letting Jensen set the pace. That was hotter than anything else at this point and he keened somewhere deep within him. “M’gonna-” he warned, knowing it hardly mattered because Jared would drink him down. With that thought alone Jensen’s orgasm shook through him, making his muscles tense and quiver with the force of it.
Jared loved the flood of heat in his mouth, the way all the air left Jensen’s body in a sinfully sweet moan. Drinking down his boyfriend’s release, Jared lapped at the head of his cock until Jensen was whimpering softly as he gasped for air.
Reluctantly, Jared let his boyfriend’s shaft slip from his lips and began to kiss his way back up Jensen’s body. “So perfect,” he murmured in between kisses and licks. A fine sheen of sweat glistened on Jensen’s body, his chest rising and falling rapidly as his body twitched through the last vestiges of his orgasm.
When Jared finally reached Jensen’s lips he slanted his mouth over them and claimed them. He could kiss Jensen for a hundred years and never get enough. Jensen’s tongue slid forward, sweeping through Jared’s mouth and making them both shudder.
Moaning into the kiss Jensen sucked on Jared’s tongue, arms slowly wrapping around Jared’s body. He was still shuddering softly from the force of his release and it was perfect. Of course Jared was always perfect and Jensen let his hands run down his boyfriend’s body in gentle slow sweeps.
When he pulled back from the kiss he was still panting softly and he blinked up at his boyfriend, a warm smile on his face. “Perfect, you. You are.” Jensen laughed weakly and pulled Jared over him, rolling slightly so he could prop himself up and slip a hand down between them. He curled his fingers along Jared’s cock, meeting his eyes as he slowly began to stroke the man’s hard flesh.
Jared's lashes fluttered closed as he leaned into Jensen's body. His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip and he just let himself feel each slid of Jensen's hand, the way his fingers curled gently around him, the heat of his palm. Jensen's breath was warm and moist against Jared's cheek and he found himself smiling again, leaning toward the lips he knew were right there.
His hips circled slowly, easing his hard flesh through Jensen's fingers and Jared moaned. His lips brushed Jensen's, parted and he licked the man's mouth open then slid his tongue deep into the wet heat.
Their kiss was slow and languid, Jensen’s tongue moving in circles along Jared’s as his hand continued to move. He tightened his grip for a moment, letting Jared draw back and slid forward then twisted, loosened. Jensen knew how to get Jared off like this, he knew how to drive his boyfriend completely insane with the simplest touches and Jensen loved that.
Switching hands, Jensen wrapped his left around Jared’s cock and let his right roll over his balls, squeezing and releasing. He gasped into the kiss when Jared’s body jerked forward then he pulled back, meeting Jared’s gaze again. Jensen watched, curious, as he curled his fingers and slowly rubbed behind Jared’s balls, testing. “Love you,” he whispered, kissing the corner of Jared’s mouth.
Jared's body was caught by a shudder as pleasure rolled through him. Without any conscious thought he turned into the kiss, chasing Jensen's mouth. Another moan passed Jared's lips as Jensen's fingers moved, hard then soft, squeezing and sliding. Jared felt like he was going a little crazy and he was completely in favour of it. "Gonna make me come," he whispered shakily.
“That’s the point.” Jensen laughed softly and shifted a little closer, rolling Jared’s balls along the heel of his palm. “I like when you come like this, with me touching you. I want to touch all of you.” Jensen gently kissed him again, pressing in deeper as he squeezed along the base of Jared’s cock and slid up. His fingers low on Jared’s body slipped further back, rubbing just once over his entrance and sliding back, his entire body flushing with heat from the touch. He broke the kiss and laid forehead against Jared’s panting softly.
Lurching forward slightly Jared gasped for air. His boyfriend's name was trapped somewhere in his throat and came out wrapped up in a moan. All the times they'd been like this, touching each other and Jensen had never touched Jared like this. Blinking slowly, Jared panted softly and dipped down to murmur against Jensen's lips. "I. That was good."
Jared's hips jolted forward again and he bit down on his bottom lip, letting himself gall back slightly. Shifting slightly he moved his legs further apart to give Jensen free reign to do whatever he wanted. "You can. You-" laughing breathily Jared closed his eyes and rocked his hips forward into his boyfriend's grasp.
“Yeah?” Jensen whispered, pulling back slightly to stare at his boyfriend’s face. He’d always kind of thought Jared didn’t want that which was why they’d never tried but there was nothing but pleasure on the man’s face now.
Bringing his hand up, Jensen sucked one finger between his lips, thoroughly wetting it before releasing it with a pop of his lips and dropping his hand back down again. “We’ll just try first,” he murmured and wet his lips, searching forward until his finger tip was once more rubbing along Jared’s entrance. It made heat burn sharper low in the pit of his stomach as he circled the muscle, thinking about what it might be like if the tables were turned.
A small frown creased Jared's brow as he nodded. It was the strangest sensation; he'd never felt anything that was so unusual and so really-fucking-good all at the same time. There was something burning in the pit of Jared's stomach, a slow burn of pleasure and he couldn't stop his hand from moving down Jensen's back. His nails scratched slowly over his boyfriend's skin as his hips rocked up then back down for more of the tentative touch.
“Do- do you like it?” Jensen asked quietly, slowly slipping his finger just barely within Jared and pulling out. He shook his head after a moment, not wanting to chicken out or anything just because he was worried Jared wouldn’t like it. He knew his boyfriend would tell him so he slipped his finger forward again, painfully slowly pushing into him. “Doesn’t hurt at all does it?” He dipped down to gently kiss the little wrinkle between Jared’s eyebrows, smile tugging at his lips.
"Like it," Jared murmured. "Doesn't hurt ... s'differ-" Jared moaned loudly and his hand flailed up to cover his mouth entirely too late to hide the noise. Jensen's finger was just barely inside him, just opening him up and Jared was already shaking. Turning quickly he managed to find Jensen's mouth in time for his boyfriend to swallow up another moan.
Pressing forward Jensen kissed Jared deeply, swallowing up any further noises he might make as his finger slid deeper within his boyfriend. It was weird feeling it from the other side, Jared was so tight and hot and Jensen felt a little thrill knowing that no one had ever touched Jared like this before. His finger was all the way in his boyfriend now and he twisted it slowly, experimentally, just to see what Jared would do.
Clinging to Jensen, fingers digging into his boyfriend's skin - Jared's mouth moved wet and urgent. God, his cock was aching; his balls swollen and he could hardly breathe. Trembling with pleasure, Jared squeezed his eyes shut against the swell of his orgasm. "Jen-"
But everything kind of twisted inside him. Jensen's finger moving inside him - inside him - sent a flare of heat through Jared's belly. For a few moments, he wasn't sure if he would ever be able to draw in another breath and then he was coming. His hips stuttered forward and Jared pulled back from the kiss to suck in a painful breath. His come was warm and wet between their bodies and Jared's entire body shook when the muscles in his ass tightened around Jensen's finger.
“Jesus.” Jensen whispered in slightly surprise. He didn’t think he’d ever seen his boyfriend come quite that hard when there was only touching involved, no lips or fucking. Just, touching. He was half hard himself but that was probably a lot more to do with the fact that he currently had muscles impossibly tight around his finger.
Slowly Jensen pulled his finger back and kissed Jared gently once more, stroking slowly along his side. “We gotta do that.” He chuckled softly after the words, grinning down at his boyfriend.
Smiling weakly Jared squeezed his eyes shut. "Sorry... I couldn't hold off." Laughing softly Jared could feel himself blushing on top of the heat of pleasure that already burned along his skin.
“Don’t apologize. That was fucking hot.” Jensen laughed and shook his head, flipping over to make a grab at the nearest piece of clothing. He used it to wipe along Jared’s chest and pulled the blanket free before sliding it over them and curling up against Jared’s side. “Would you let me? Fuck you I mean.” He almost whispered the words, pressing his lips to Jared’s shoulder.
A smile flitted across Jared's face and he lowered his gaze. "You want to?"
“If you want to. I mean, well, it’s you. Fucking you, yeah, that would be a given.” Jensen slid his hand along Jared’s chest, gently rubbing. “Only if you wanna. You seem like you did.”
Nodding, feeling a little shy for some stupid reason Jared finally looked into Jensen's eyes. "Yeah. I would like that I think. But not all the time 'cause - you're mine. I ... well-" Shrugging a shoulder Jared wasn't even sure what he was trying to say. There was just something in him that liked being in control - liked feeling like Jensen was his. "I'm possessive," he whispered and nipped at Jensen's bottom lip.
“I think I would be an awful all the time top. But, I would like to try it, and, maybe every now and then.” Jensen smiled softly at Jared and leaned forward, gently rubbing his nose along Jared’s. “We both know I’m a shameless bottom.”
"It's one of my favorite qualities in a boyfriend." Jared grinned. His fingers slipped into Jensen's hair, it was longer now and Jared was absolutely in favour of it. There were little curls that slipped through his fingers. "I love you, you know that right? Like, so much there aren't good enough words to really talk about it." It sounded kind of dumb and Jared looked away, arms sliding around Jensen's neck.
“I know,” Jensen murmured and dipped down, nuzzling Jared’s neck. “I don’t need all the words to talk about it. You just keep showing me and I believe it. Just like you know I love you.” Jensen slumped half on top of Jared, grinning against his collar bone. “We should explore the city tomorrow yeah?”
“Is that our first date day?” Jared smiled into Jensen’s hair. “I like that idea.” Of course, he pretty much liked any idea that involved time with Jensen.
“Yeah, we should really go the ocean. And get lobster or something. Only, we’re poor.” Jensen snorted and closed his eyes, tightening his arm around Jared and sighing happily. “You really gonna marry me one day?”
“Yes, Jensen. I am. You’re... mine.” Jared’s smile grew. “And we’re not poor; I have money from my folks. Let’s take revenge on them by spending it.” Laughing softly Jared rolled them slightly so he could look into Jensen’s eyes.
“Jensen? You will marry me if I ask right? I mean one day?” Jared’s smile wavered slightly. He couldn't imagine a life without Jensen.
Staring at Jared with a slightly slack jaw, Jensen blinked a few times then laughed. “You shouldn’t even have to ask that. You know I will. As long as you don’t propose in one of those clichéd and over used ways. But I know you’ll be unique. You know, Chris would kick our asses if he knew we were talking about this.”
“Why? I’m not allowed to want to marry you?” Jared left a trail of kisses across Jensen’s forehead then got distracted by how cute the tip of his boyfriend’s nose was and had to kiss that a few times too.
“Something about being too sappy or gay or something.” Jensen murmured, soft and distracted by Jared’s touches. “Can Yoda be in our wedding?”
“It’s part of the deal.” Jared laughed, “he can be the ring-bearer.”
“How is that...” Jensen scrunched up his face for a moment then laughed, shaking his head. It was better not to try and picture that. “Let’s make out until we fall asleep.”
“Mmm, okay,” Jared shifted forward quickly and pressed his lips to Jensen’s.