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Hands touched blankly. Could hands touch blankly? The bus bumped underneath them, and the lights flicked on, indicating the sun had truly set.
“I thought you were supposed to call me.” Phoenix said.
“I did.”
“Bull. I waited. I checked.”
“…well.”
“What happened?”
“What happened to what?”
“This! Us!”
“I was busy.”
“And I was alone.”
“You weren’t alone.”
“Oh sure, because taking care of a child solo while I’m working nights keeps my social life so lively.”
“Stop.” Miles pulled his hand away, his whole body weight away.
“Stop what? Stop talking to you? You never had any problem with that.”
“Stop with the pitying yourself!” He flicked his head around.
“Pardon?”
“You could have called me!” Miles watched Phoenix’s lips tighten.
“Your voicemail was set to ‘Don’t leave anything here if it’s not about work,’ did you think that would be inviting?”
“That was—that was for Gumshoe, for Agent Lang, for… surely you’d know you’re an exception?”
“I didn’t.”
“I’m so sorry…” His hand reached back toward Phoenix’s, only to be flicked away.
“Don’t touch me.” Phoenix’s tone bit at him.
“Sorry.”
“Okay.” He said.
“…okay.”
The bus stopped, let someone off, and started again. Neither spoke.
“I, hm.” Phoenix leaned forward and studied a wad of old, discarded gum on the ground.
“Yes?”
“Don’t think I was meant to end up here.”
“You weren’t. We weren’t.”
Phoenix turned around to face him again. “We?”
“Of course we. What else?” He couldn’t look the man in the eyes, but he did mean it.
“Forgive me for thinking two months of silence from you meant something.”
“We’ve done worse.” Bringing up the faked death was risky, but seemed well-received, as Phoenix chuckled.
“Hah. Yeah, we have.”
Beep. Another stop. Open, close.
“Do you need help?” Miles asked, “With this. With her.”
“No.”
He considered what next to say. “Where is she now?” He’d only just begun to make the right moves. Play the right pieces.
“With Maya.” Of course she’d be with Miss Fey, Miles thought.
“A favour?”
“She’s not asking me to pay, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“That’s kind.”
“Yeah.” He sounded tired.
“You’re both handling everything okay?”
“Truce is. She’s taken to public school well.”
“She went to a private school before?”
“Biologicals homeschooled her.”
“Huh.”
“You missed her birthday. She just turned nine.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Tell her yourself.”
“I will.”
“Thank you. You know, I offered to hire a magician for her birthday.”
“Do you have the money for that?”
“Doesn’t matter, ‘cause she told me she’d be able to spot their tricks from a mile away. She ended up doing her own magic show for her friends.”
“I take it that went well?”
“Of course it did, she’s brilliant. I couldn’t even tell how she did it, and I watch her rehearse.”
“I’m glad it went well.”
“Me too.”
Stop. Open. Close. Go. Phoenix seemed most himself—passionate, driven, alive—whenever he talked about Trucy.
“Is this just for her?” Phoenix asked, and clicked a button by his seat.
“What do you mean?”
“You helping me. Is it just for her?”
“No.” Miles wanted to be offended that not caring about Phoenix was even presented as an option, but he had no ground to argue on and no reason to do so.
“Do you want something?” He had to stop. Stop to consider it all. Stop to gather his words.
“I do, but this isn’t to bribe you.” Was his answer. He sighed, and he too looked down at the floor.
Phoenix looked at him with a tired, almost resigned sadness Miles found disturbingly uncharacteristic of him. He caught it just moments before another beep from the bus interjected. It had been too soft for his face. “This is my stop coming up. Want to come with?”
“Alright.” They left their seats as the bus rolled to a halt.
“This way you can apologize for missing that birthday party. Who knows, maybe you’ll get a magic show out of it.”
“Hah, okay.”
“Mind your step, the curb’s a bit rough.” Phoenix’s hand was offered for help, cold and rough. In the dark street near the People Park bus stop, Miles narrowly avoided a wide crack in the concrete of the curb.
“Thanks.”
They walked, and letting go of the other’s hand became a long, gradual process. The street wasn’t perfectly lit, but when such a thing was possible, he swore he saw that face on Phoenix again.
There wasn’t any clear way to make it go away for as long as they were alone. But the thought preoccupied Miles for the next few days. Days before he called that man’s cell phone, and he answered.