Archive of Our Own

“Kamsahamnida,” she thanked the kind ahjussi who helped her put down her larger-than-herself backpack. “Thank you.”

The man waved back at her with a kind smile as he signalled the bus driver to go on their way. Still with a smile on her face, Dahyun watched as the large vehicle grew smaller and smaller into the distance, leaving her on the side of the road with nothing but herself, her belongings, and the cars that passed her by.

She heaved a sigh, lifting her full pack with a grunt, and carried it back on her shoulders. And from there, she turned around to greet the gates to where she’ll be staying for the next three days and nights.

“Yi-sook’s Hostel Star,” she read the small sign out loud, confirming the same name that she had gone through over and over again even before boarding that bus. She had never done this before, she tried to justify. It was normal for her to be a nervous wreck. “Okay, Dahyun, you got yourself here safe and sound. You’re fine.”

And so she stepped past the gates.

The first thing she saw was that the uncemented pathway followed a downward slope that led to what she presumed to be the house at the bottom of the hill. Rocks of various sizes lined the sides of the road while the middle part was smoothened out for the vehicles that would enter the place. She loosened the hip and sternal straps on her bag as she descended, careful not to fall on her butt.

Erected at the foot of the hill was not one but two houses with a common dining table up front, a hammock at the side, and a vast space of land that separated them from the sea beyond. Still, the salty air felt calming and refreshing to her lungs, and she enjoyed the shade by the tall trees towering over her as she took in her surroundings and revelled in what she was promised by the website that she and her best friend had visited.

“You must be Dahyun,” a cheerful, rather husky voice of a woman greeted her from behind. She immediately turned around to meet the source of the voice and bowed down as low as she could in spite of the heavy load she was carrying. The woman laughed. “Please, no need for the formalities with me. Here, come with me to my office.”

She obeyed, grateful for the woman’s intervention. Truth be told, she feared having to deal with low back pain when she should be enjoying herself. She followed the ahjumma inside the house where she saw a makeshift office set up on the right side of the house, while right across was a pristine kitchen where another guest was making himself some snacks. The tall guy – Dahyun did not want to presume his nationality – acknowledged her with a nod and an offer of a banana, to which she politely declined.

“I’m Yi-sook,” the woman introduced herself. “But you might know that already. Please, put down your bag and take a seat.” Dahyun politely obeyed once more and set her bag down in the middle of her legs. “So welcome to my humble hostel, Dahyun-ssi. It is to my knowledge that you’re booked here for three days and three nights, am I right?”

“Yes,” she croaked out. Yi-sook only smiled warmly. “Yes,” she repeated, a bit clearer this time. “It’s a lovely place you got here.”

“Kamsahamnida,” the woman’s eyes crinkled. “I’m glad it is to your liking.” She pulled out some papers from a folder on her desk. “Now, basic house rules. We don’t have curfew around here, and we’re considerably lenient with our guests, but we’d appreciate it if you guys don’t make too much noise especially at night. We know how your free spirits love to do whatever now that you got your freedom.

“And then, of course, please clean up after yourself. We have utilities for your basic needs here like the kitchen as you can see, as well as a communal bathroom in the other house where you’ll be staying.” Dahyun nodded in understanding. “But you seem like a trustworthy girl. I think you’ll get along fine with the rest of the guests.”

Dahyun tilted her head at this. “How many of us are there?”

“Excited to meet the rest of the gang, are you?” Yi-sook jested, but Dahyun only timidly smiled. “Let’s see. The one eating in the kitchen right there – Manu – “ The curly guy looked up. “Meet Dahyun. Dahyun, Manu.”

“He offered me a banana,” Dahyun said out of nowhere in English. The guy – Manu – held up another one, a laugh playing on his lips now. Dahyun had to laugh.

“Did he now?” Yi-sook invested in her story. “Manu’s Brazilian. I’ll let you two get to know each other later with the rest.” She passed the contract for Dahyun to sign. “By the way, how do you intend to go around here?”

Shit. “I-uh, commute? I saw some buses on the road…”

But Yi-sook never showed judgment if she had judged her. “The buses are more for the town-to-town commutes, I’m afraid. But we do offer motorbikes for rent. Do you know how to ride one?” Dahyun folded in on herself, looking sheepish. “That’s okay, dear. We have go-to persons who can drive you around, but that’s going to cost you a bit more. Think about it once you’ve rested, alright?

“Well then,” The older woman stood up then. Dahyun immediately followed out of respect. Yi-sook seemed to have liked it. “Let me take you to your bunk.”

The two bade goodbye to Manu who was now making himself… is that a protein shake? then went over to the other house. There she saw two women, probably older than herself but not much, who immediately waved hello to them. Yi-sook smiled with a nod, halting Dahyun in her tracks as she introduced her. “Dahyun-ah, these are Nayeon-ssi and Momo-ssi. They’re from Seoul just like you.”

“Annyeong!” the girl with the pretty bunny teeth and a bright smile said with a lilt in the voice that made her sound younger. “Hi! I’m Nayeon, and this grandma here is Momo – ow!”

The short-haired woman who just hit her – Momo – glared at her but this was immediately replaced by a wide smile as she turned her attention to Dahyun. “It’s nice to have you here, Dahyun-ssi. Come hang with us later?”

“Annyeonghaseyo,” Dahyun beamed at them. “De. Yes, I’d love to, Momo-ssi. Let me just settle in.”

“Take all the time you need, Dahyun-ssi,” Momo reassured her while Nayeon gave her two thumbs up. Dahyun felt secure.

The house was similar to the adjacent one. It had a wide space with its own mini kitchen on the right, two private rooms up ahead, and a door for the bathroom adjacent to them. The difference was, this time, the entire left side was reserved solely for the unairconditioned sleeping chambers: the bunk beds. Yi-sook held the door open for her as she quietly entered. About six bunk beds lined the walls – some well-made and untouched, some clearly occupied.

“You’ll be sharing the room with two other guests including Manu from earlier,” the owner informed her. “You can choose any bed you like, but if it makes you feel more at ease...“ She went to the middle bunk bed which was smack in the middle of one unoccupied one and another with a bag like hers resting idly against the mattress. Yi-sook gestured towards the rightmost bed with the bag. “This one belongs to one of our female guests. She should be home soon, I believe.”

Dahyun nodded, setting her bag down next to the middle bunk. “What about Nayeon-ssi and Momo-ssi?”

“They rented a private room. It’s right across the hall,” Yi-sook told her kindly. She clapped her hands then. “Well, that’s it for your mini tour. I hope the accommodations are up to your expectations.” Dahyun nodded giddily. “I’m glad. We have what we call the bioluminescence activity tonight if you’re interested. You can ask them about it.”

Dahyun perked up at the sound of an activity. She had honestly never heard of such thing before, but she was not about to admit that. And, besides, for her to have that kind of activity on her first night of vacation… she was ecstatic. “That sounds wonderful. Kamsahamnida, ahjumma.”

Yi-sook gave her a nasty look then. “Don’t call me ahjumma. Or else, I’d have to take one of your pillows away.”

Dahyun laughed, bowing to her as a form of apology. “Joesonghamnida,” she repeated. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

Yi-sook’s eyes crinkled at her innocence. “I’m glad we have that understanding. Well, I’ll leave you to settle in now, then. You know where to find me if you need anything.”

And then Dahyun was alone.

Her eyes roamed across the room. The lone occupied bed across her peeked out from behind the wooden dividers. Underneath was a single duffel bag and a pair of slides that looked rather expensive. Must be a private person.

But the one adjacent to hers – the one that belonged to the mystery girl – contained a few piles of clothes all over the bed where she would have slept, as if she was lining up her choices of clothes to wear for the day. And on top of one pile was a purple polaroid camera next to a film that showed the face of a girl.

Is this her? Dahyun was curious, but she was not one to pry in other people’s businesses, let alone a stranger’s. So in spite of her wonderment and curiosity, Dahyun shook her head then proceeded to sort out her belongings.

☾

“What brings you here, Dahyun-ssi?” Momo asked her from across the table as she munched on an apple. It was near sundown now, and the skies were painted a bright orange, reflected just as vibrantly by the vast sea beyond.

Dahyun was prepared for this question. In fact, she had been since she gathered the strength to ask permission from her parents. “I’ve never had the chance to travel by myself before,” she began. “And since I managed to save up some money that I earned from my first job, I thought it would be nice to spend it on myself.”

The two older girls seemed impressed. “Job? How old are you?” Nayeon asked.

“Twenty-three,” Dahyun said nonchalantly. Nayeon’s eyes widened. “I worked while in school…”

“No, no, I get that. It’s just – “ Nayeon paused, scanning her face. Dahyun felt a bit conscious. “You look like a baby.”

The two girls laughed then, but Nayeon remained serious. Was she really amazed? Not knowing how to react, Dahyun only mumbled a hushed “kamsahamnida” as she bit on her lip and looked down. (Nayeon exclaimed a rather loud “ah gwiyeo!” which made her and Momo flinch and cover their ears.)

Just then, the sound of a motorbike filled the air, and in came a girl driving the heavy vehicle. The three of them diverted their attentions to the newcomer and watched as she smoothly stopped the bike and gracefully swung one leg over to get off the heavy bike.

… Or so Dahyun thought.

For as soon as she hopped off, she suddenly got on wrong footing and nearly stumbled.

But thank god Dahyun was quick.

She immediately took off from where she sat to offer her a hand, which she thankfully did in time. Dahyun pushed herself upward, steadying themselves on their feet, and finally met the other person's eyes.

Dahyun’s breath caught in her throat.

“Gomawo!” the girl perked up with the brightest smile and cutest voice that Dahyun had ever seen and heard in her entire life. “Thank you for saving my life. I could have hit my head on the ground if you hadn’t caught me.”

“G-Gwaenchanhayo,” Dahyun stumbled on her words. “It’s nothing. I-I was glad to do it.”

She internally cringed. Glad to do it? Aish, Dahyun. That’s the best you could come up with?

But the other girl didn’t seem bothered at all. In fact, she let out a high-pitched laugh that made her cheeks stand out. “Kyeopta,” she complimented her. “You’re an adorable one, aren’t you? I’m Sana,” she introduced herself as she offered her hand.

Dahyun took it, trying not to die right then. “I-I'm Kim Dahyun.”

“And we’re Nayeon and Momo.” Dahyun and Sana snapped out of their bubble and were surprised to see the two older girls standing close to them with a stifled laugh. “Lovely time you girls are having here, aren’t you?”

Dahyun looked down, letting go of her hand. Sana didn’t seem the least bit bothered and instead launched into a conversation with Momo as soon as she took off her helmet. When she looked up, Dahyun was surprised to see Nayeon still looking at her with a playful smile on her face. “Come on, lover girl,” she teased, hooking an arm with her. “Dinner’s about to be served soon.”

Dahyun gulped. This is going to be a long vacation.

☾

Dinner went by smoothly with just the four girls exchanging stories about their day. Dahyun learned that Sana, like her, had just arrived today – only way earlier so she was able to roam around town and explore the beaches that day. Nayeon and Momo, meanwhile, had cancelled their waterfalls hopping trip because the older girl’s muscles were still aching from all the climbing and cliff diving they did the day before.

Needless to say: Dahyun was impressed. And she, too, wanted all that for herself.

A bit of independence.

“What about you, Dahyun-ah?” A voice and three pairs of anticipating eyes pulled her back into reality. 

“I’m sorry?”

Sana laughed heartily at her once more. “I said,” she began, turning her whole body to face the girl next to her. “Are you coming with us for the bioluminescence?”

Oh. Dahyun nodded shyly. “De,” she affirmed. “Are we leaving now?”

“We could if we want to,” Nayeon reassured. “I’ll go look for Ji-hoon-oppa.”

“No need, Mademoiselle Nayeon,” a deep but friendly voice echoed from within the house. A rather well-built guy greeted them as he bowed lowly. “Ji-hoon at your service, our lovely guests.” He stood up once, showing off an affable smile that looked like Yi-sook’s. “My darling eomma has tasked me with the honourable role of escorting four beautiful ladies tonight for our activity. Now unless you girls are ready, we can meet out front in 10 minutes. Is that enough? You can leave the plates on the sink for now.”

The four girls scrambled to their feet, cleaned up, then headed back to their rooms to change. All the way there, Sana chatted Dahyun up about her excitement, infecting the younger girl with her gleeful disposition that made her just as excited as she was.

Even though she had no idea what it was about.

“Sana-ssi,” she called out to Sana whose arm was hooked tightly with hers.

“What is it, Dahyunnie? And please, call me unnie.”

Dahyun had to pretend not to be affected by the new nickname. “Ne, Sana-unnie." The new honorific rolled off her tongue quite smoothly. "Don’t judge me, but... what’s bioluminescence?”

“Do you watch Spongebob, Dahyunnie?”

She was taken aback by the question. “I – yes?”

“Well, there’s this type of plankton – call it Plankton’s cousins if you may, ” she laughed adorably at her own joke. “who sparkle at night. You’ll love it. I know you will.” She unlinked their arms then picked up a pair of bikinis from her pile.

“Have you done this before?”

“Ani,” Sana replied enthusiastically nonetheless with an adorable shrug of her shoulders. “Not at all. Yi-sook told me about it.” Then, she turned around and began to pull up her shirt. Dahyun unknowingly let out a yelp. Sana swiftly turned on her heels, panicked. “Waeyo?  Why, Dahyun-ah? What's wrong?”

Cold sweat practically trickled her back as she covered her eyes with her small hands. “Y-you’re changing in the middle of the room! What if – what if someone walks in?”

She swore she could hear Sana laughing at her distress. “Then lock the room, silly!” Sana said as if it was the simplest thing in the world. She felt the other girl’s hands prying away her own hands and lifting her head up by her chin to look at her. “Manu is out. Besides, we’re both girls. I’m sure you have the same parts as I do. Just turn around or something.” Then she poked the younger girl’s nose before turning her back on her and proceeding to take off her clothes. Dahyun, finally coming to her senses, had just picked up her own swimwear and turned around when Sana (again) called out, adding to her distress: “Or not. I don’t really mind if you look!”

“Unnie!” she whined. But that somehow only made the other girl sing her high-pitched laugh.

Dahyun thought she could used to this.

☾

The path going down to the shore was rather dark, with only the dim streetlamps and Ji-hoon’s flashlight leading their way to keep them from going completely blind in the dark. The whole time, Sana clung onto Dahyun as the five of them kept the spirits up with their incessant talking.

When they finally reached the shore, Ji-hoon excused himself for a quick while to ready the boat that they will be riding. Dahyun was mesmerized by the seemingly limitless view before her. The cool wind coming from the sea awakened her senses and gave her a sense of being able to breathe freely for the first time. She closed her eyes, wanting to remember the feeling, but soon opened them when she felt someone looking at her.

She turned her head, seeing Sana smiling brightly at her. Maybe even brighter than the moon. “Enjoying yourself, Dahyunnie?”

“I am,” she affirmed wholeheartedly. Because she was. And she thought that she had never been happier before about a decision that she made.

“Alright girls, one by one,” their guide waved at them. They each boarded the tiny boat, thanking him as he supported them on the way, and found their seats. Sana snuggled up next to her as soon as Ji-hoon began paddling.

“How long have you been doing this, oppa?” Nayeon asked out of the blue. The rest of them turned their attention to him.

“Hmm, maybe 7 years?” Ji-hoon pondered. “The hostel has pretty much been my entire life since eomma brought it from the ground up when I was like ten. Back then, we only had one of the houses and a few guests – mostly foreigners looking for a cheap place to stay – but we slowly expanded and now, well, now here we are.”

“Daebak,” Momo said out loud what everyone else was thinking. “That’s amazing. Yi-sook-ssi seems amazing too.”

“She is!” Ji-hoon said proudly. “Our past guests loved her, as I hope you would, too.”

“We already do, oppa,” Sana said tenderly. “I’m glad I found this place.”

“Me too,” Dahyun agreed. Sana looked at her then with a giggle, causing Dahyun’s heart to begin pounding loudly. “W-well, it’s actually my best friend who found this for me since I don’t know how to do this kind of stuff and – “

Sana squealed then pinched her cheeks. Dahyun was left stunned as Sana continued to pinch her. “Why! Are! You! So! Cute!”

“We’re here,” Ji-hoon announced as the boat came to a stop next to a floating cabin. Sana quickly let go of her face. He jumped out of the boat and tied it to one of the anchoring ropes then gestured to the waters before them and said: “Ladies, our proud bioluminescence.”

Dahyun’s jaw slackened immediately. For the once moonlight-illumined sea was now a glowing sea of green in her eyes. She watched how even the small waves that kissed the boat carried with them the tiny creatures that were responsible for the magical night that she was having. She was sure that the other girls who turned silent were thinking the same thing. 

“This is amazing,” she whispered, breaking the beautiful silence. Mumbles of agreement followed right after.

There was a certain chill to the night, Dahyun observed despite the long sleeves of the rash guard that she had worn. She had never been one to expose a lot of skin at least in comparison to her companions right now, who all looked just as entranced as she was by the rare beauty that beheld their eyes. Deep down, she wondered if Sana was feeling cold.

“You could go in now if you want,” Ji-hoon said, properly interrupting her thoughts. “Just leave your things on the raft.”

One by one again, they exited and took off their clothes before diving in. Dahyun, the excited one who knew she would regret it if she did not document this at the very least, was fumbling with her GoPro on the raft when a huge splash came her way followed by fits of giggles.

“Dahyun-ah!” Sana called out for her. “Get in, you’re missing the fun!”

“Yah,” Momo countered her with a splash of her own. “Stop being clingy for once and let her do her own thing.”

Dahyun, albeit thankful for being defended, pushed herself off the raft and into the water, joining them. Nayeon cheered with the excitement of a three-year old. Shivering from the cold, she submerged her entire body and filmed for a good few seconds to acclimate to the cold waters. When she went back up, she was met with ferocious splashing and hearty teases that could last the girl a lifetime.

“Happy independence, Dahyun-ah!” Momo shouted happily.

“You’re not a baby anymore, Dahyun-ah!” Nayeon joined in.

Dahyun shielded herself from their silliness with a playful whine until the splashing calmed down a bit and they finally settled back into serenity. The four girls waded in the waters and played with the planktons, watching as they cascaded down with the water that dripped from their skin. Dahyun captured as much as she could with her camera from her spot next to the floating cabin.

When they got tired, Nayeon swam to Dahyun’s side and looked up at the star-filled night sky. “Everything good there, Dahyun-ah?” she asked without looking at her.

“Ne, Nayeon-ssi.” Nayeon poked her cheek and calmly told her to drop the honorifics and just call her and Momo her unnies. Dahyun gladly accepted and peacefully copied the older girl to admire the constellations that adorned the infinite dark sky that stretched over them all. “What made you go on this vacation with Momo-unnie?”

“Having a heart to heart without us?” Sana joined in teasingly. Dahyun welcomed her with an outstretched hand that Sana gladly took. Momo swam in front of them soon after.

“There was supposed to be three of us, actually,” Nayeon opened. “Me, Momo, and my girlfriend, Mina – “

“Momo’s not your girlfriend?” Sana and Dahyun asked at the same time then looked at each other before shyly giggling.

“You’re more surprised about Momo not being my girlfriend instead of the fact that I have a girlfriend?” Nayeon asked incredulously. “Damn, that’s some good gaydar you both got there. Suspicious–” Dahyun did not miss the subtle look that Nayeon threw her way. "– but good."

“It took me three years to figure out that she was gay,” Momo confessed with a hint of regret.

“That’s because you’re not gay,” Nayeon countered as-a-matter-of-fact-ly. Momo only shrugged.

“You’re not gay?!” Dahyun exclaimed, her beady eyes widening at Momo.

“She only looks like it,” Nayeon shrugged off at the same time as Momo asked, “What makes you think I am?”

Dahyun quieted down a bit. The girls had to come closer to her to hear what she just said. “Can you repeat that?” Sana requested.

“It’sbecauseyoutwosharearoom,” Dahyun stated, sheepish, warmth blossoming on her cheeks in spite of the much cooler water they were submerged in.

That got everyone – including Ji-hoon who had been listening in all that time – to roar in laughter and Nayeon to continuously hit Dahyun’s arm and push her towards Sana. With tears in her eyes, the oldest girl calmed down and explained herself. “You see, my dear Dahyunnie,” she mocked Sana’s nickname. “Momo here is very messy with her things, and it would be embarrassing for me – not for her – if strangers like yourselves suddenly find one of her underwear among your own clothes.”

“That,” Momo piped up, pointing a finger at Nayeon. “Had in fact happened once to me with her girlfriend, and since then she has not let go of it.”

“So why couldn’t your girlfriend join?” Sana suddenly asked Nayeon at the mention of the girl. “I feel like that would have been nicer.”

“She had to fly home to Japan for work. She’s rich like that.” Nayeon stated, seemingly unaffected, but she couldn’t fool Dahyun.

A squeal escaped Sana's mouth. “She’s Japanese?” Sana asked, tone suddenly becoming sprightly. “So am I!”

“Me too!” Momo suddenly announced. They looked at each with big smiles before Sana went in for a hug that threw Momo off.

“What about you, Dahyun-ah?” Nayeon nudged her. “Do you have a girlfriend waiting for you back at home?”

From the corner of her eye, she saw Sana letting go of her hold on Momo as the two waited for her answer. “I don’t. I’ve never been in a relationship.”

“Jinjja?” exclaimed Nayeon, surprised. “What, really?! I find that hard to believe.”

Dahyun raised her brows. Was that a compliment? “I, uh, thank you?”

“You should look in a mirror, Dahyun-ssi,” Momo confirmed. “If I were gay, I would date you.”

“If I were single, I would date you,” Nayeon seconded.

“Nado,” Sana replied curtly. “Me too.”

With a playful glint in her eyes, Nayeon took a look back at Sana. “What about you, Sana-ssi? Do you have someone waiting on you back at home?” Dahyun could swear the eldest among them was up to something.

Sana smiled rather sadly. “I don’t. Not anymore at least,” she responded quietly with a shake of the head. “That’s actually the reason why I went on this vacation. I – “ she then looked back up. Dahyun was surprised when their eyes met instantaneously. “I just ended things with my ex-boyfriend.”

The words ex and boyfriend began to weigh on Dahyun's chest. For some unknown reason, Dahyun felt sad and disappointed about the revelation.

Momo, sensing the shift in the mood, patted her back reassuringly. “Well, you got us now, don’t you?”

Nayeon and Dahyun nodded simultaneously, trying their best to lift her spirits up. Sana beamed at this. “I do. Gomawo,” she thanked them adorably as Dahyun squeezed her hand while gliding her thumb across it from under the water. Sana squeezed hers right back.

“So that’s…” Nayeon nodded at Momo. “Two girls taking some time off from work because we don’t know when we can do it again.” Then at Dahyun. “One girl coming of age and wanting to be independent.” And finally at Sana. “And one girl soul-searching to move on.” Sana placed her hand under her chin and batted her eyes. Nayeon rolled her eyes playfully. “We’re a pretty odd bunch, aren’t we?”

“You forgot one more,” Momo offered. Nayeon tilted her head questioningly. “One girl back in Japan who’s probably regretting her life decisions and sulking in her room while waiting for your scheduled call.”

Nayeon’s eyes widened in panic. “Aish ssibal, I completely lost track of time!” Nayeon cursed. She frantically looked for Ji-hoon. “Oppa, how long does it take for us to head back?”

☾

The freshly showered Dahyun was enjoying her cup of tea on the hammock when her phone lit up with a familiar image. She picked it up right away, beaming. “Eomma!”

“Dahyun-ah!” Her smiley parents greeted her from the other end of the line. “How’s our daughter doing? Did you arrive safely? Have you eaten?” her mother asked.

“Eomma, eomma,” Dahyun tried to calm her down with a laugh. “I’m more than fine. Don’t worry about me.” Her eyes wandered the small screen. “Where’s Ah-ri?”

“Asleep in his bed, darling. Want me to get him?”

Dahyun shook her head reassuringly. “Let him rest. I don’t want to disturb him.”

She felt the other side of the hammock dipping. Dahyun turned her to see a bare-faced Sana brushing her hair and smiling at her while mouthing, don’t mind me.

But her father was quick to catch on her distraction. “Who’s with you, Dahyun-ah? Did you make a new friend?”

“Appa,” Dahyun whined, embarrassed. “You make me sound like a kindergartner.”

“But you are our baby!” Mr. Kim teased her further. Sana couldn’t hold her laughter in anymore. Her father took note of the sound. “Introduce us to your friend, come on.”

Silently, Dahyun asked Sana for permission, to which she silently gave back in return. The two girls squeezed their faces to fit in the small screen, much like what the older Kims were doing. As soon as Sana came into view, Dahyun’s parents gasped audibly. “Yeppeo yeppeo,” Mrs. Kim complimented. “How pretty. We’re Dahyun-ah’s parents.”

“Annyeong hashimnikka. Kamsahamnida,” Sana thanked them coyly with a laugh and a bow. “I’m Sana. It’s nice to meet you.”

“And she’s so polite, too,” Mr. Kim admired even more. “Dahyun-ah, your mother and I approve!”

“Appa!” But to no avail. Her parents’ laughter filled the night air as they fed on Dahyun’s embarrassment, then the two bade Sana a good night as she scooted over to the side while they continued to ask about Dahyun’s adventures.

“What’s on your itinerary for tomorrow?”

“I’m planning to hike up this famous peak tomorrow morning. It’s not that high and not too far from here, so I should be fine.”

“How are you going to get there?”

Dahyun stilled. Of all the things I’d forget… aish, Kim Dahyun!

“She’s with me, ma’am,” Sana suddenly chimed in, squeezing herself back into view. “The hostel offered a package deal for the tourist spots, so to save money, Dahyun-ah and I decided to go together.”

Unable to hide her surprise, Dahyun’s mouth dropped slightly at Sana’s sudden proposal and attempt to save her, but the older girl was unfazed as she continued to blatantly lie to her parents. She squeezed Dahyun’s thigh, egging her to go along.

Good thing her parents did not notice, however: “How wonderful!” Mrs. Kim hooted. “Take care of our Dahyun-ah, will you, Sana-ssi? She’s our only daughter, and it makes our hearts feel more relieved knowing she has someone good taking care of her.”

“Ne, halgeyo,” Sana promised. “I will, you don’t have to worry. You can trust me.”

“Kamsahamnida, Sana-ssi,” Dahyun’s mother said wholeheartedly. “When you get back, pay us a visit in Seongnam. I’ll cook for you.” Mrs. Kim smiled once more at the girl before bidding them goodbye. “It’s getting late, and you two have a long day ahead tomorrow. Please take care, alright? Jaljayo! Good night!”

“I’d love that, Mrs. Kim. Kamsahamnida.” “Annyeong, eomma, appa.” Sana and Dahyun said at the same time before Dahyun hurriedly ended the call. Once she was sure that the call was dropped, she turned her whole body to face Sana. “Did we just lie to my parents?”

“Well,” Sana began timidly. “It’s hardly a lie if we do go together, right?” She caught herself there. “I mean – only if you want to.”

Dahyun felt like her brain was short-circuiting as she blinked rapidly at her. “I-I-yeah. Let’s do it.”

Sana brightened upon hearing this. “Great! I’ll wake you at 5:30.” She stood up, holding a hand out for her Dahyun. “Let’s go to bed.”

On the way back to the room, the two loosely held hands in silence until Dahyun asked: “But unnie, how are we going around town tomorrow?”

Sana smirked. “You’ll see. Jaljayo, Dahyun-chan. Good night.”

☾

“What do you mean we’re riding that!?”

The new day had arrived, and now the two girls were up and ready to go with everything they’d be needing for the hike.

All except one thing.

Dahyun.

She stared disbelievingly at the older girl who was just as confused by her. “What’s wrong with it?”

Dahyun could only blink.

“Unnie,” she began, her tongue poking her cheek out of frustration. “How are we going to get to the jump-off using a motorbike?”

“I drive it while you sit behind me?” Sana fished out the keys from her pocket opened the seat. She gestured for Dahyun to put her mini bag there, and when she didn’t budge, Sana took the liberty of taking them from their own hands and safely tucking them in. She closed the seat compartment then faced Dahyun once and for all. “Now can we leave? We already missed the sunrise.”

Dahyun felt a slight twinge of guilt. Still, however, she valued her life. “Unnie, won’t you be tired from driving us all the way there and back then going on the hike?”

Sana’s eyes turned into crescents as she patted the younger one on the cheek. “Give me enough credit, Dahyun-chan.” Dahyun had to gulp from the new pet name. “I’m stronger than I look,” she said, winking. Then – “Or… is it because you don’t trust me enough?”

Dahyun immediately shook her head no and tried to appease Sana. “Ani, ani. Not at all. I’m just worried you’ll get fatigued or something…”

Sana waved her off then proceeded to put the helmet on Dahyun’s head. She adjusted the strips snugly and clipped them before donning hers on. When she was done, she gracefully swung a leg over, sat comfortably on the bike and revved up the engine. Sana turned her head then. “Aren’t you coming up?”

Albeit reluctantly, Dahyun climbed up (rather clumsily) and settled herself behind Sana. From the side mirror, she could see Sana looking back at her happily. Dahyun melted; she knew she had conceded.

“Ready, Dahyun-chan?” She nodded, internally praying. Sana pulled the younger girl’s flimsy arms and wrapped them around her waist. “And off we go!” she exclaimed as the bike bolted to a start.

Dahyun could swear a part of her soul was left behind then.

☾

“Dahyun.” She heard someone calling her by her name. “Dahyun.” It was louder now.

She heard a click. Then the next thing she knew, the cool morning air was hitting against her face again. She opened her eyes slowly only to see Sana looking curiously at her. “Gwaenchanhayo? Are you okay?”

“Am I…” Dahyun was parched. Her throat was extremely dry, and her voice croaked. “Am I in heaven?”

Sana threw her head back as she laughed out loud, her voice echoing in their ears. Dahyun took the time then to take a look at her surroundings. They were surrounded by a cabbage patch with a small trail leading up the mountains. Behind them were smaller hills with more vegetations and a few goats.

They had arrived, Dahyun realized. They really arrived.

Sana tugged on her hand and held it tightly, her own GoPro gripped by her other hand. “Gaja!” she excitedly said. “Let’s go!”

They were alone in the trail, save for a few farmers here and there doing their noble work at the vast cabbage patch, which, now that Dahyun realized, was color blue. Part of her wondered why, but a bigger part of her couldn’t comprehend much else, as she was still shaken from the bike ride.

That and the possibility of an unwanted creature of nature suddenly showing up along the trail.

That and the fact that she had been panicking non-stop since the day before because of the presence of a certain someone who she was, by the way, practically all alone with now on a trip that they spontaneously made out of a lie! Made to her parents, no less!

And they were holding hands, for Christ’s sake.

And maybe she was just oblivious or maybe it was her golden heart trying to appease the raging storm in Dahyun’s, but Sana never ceased to engage her in whatever conversation she could think of even though the former would be too caught up in her head to answer at times.

(“Is this your first time hiking, Dahyun-ah?”

“Huh? Oh uh, no, not really. This will be my fifth maybe?”

“Ah, jinjja? That’s so amazing. I never pegged you as a hiker!”

“Well, I never pegged you as someone who could take me here on a bike.”

“You literally met me for the first time with me getting off the bike.”

“I – uh – that’s… touché.”)

They followed the winding trail up. Dahyun could feel her breaths becoming more ragged, her oxygen supply feeling a bit less with each step she took. Yet the girl beside not once forgot to greet every farmer they passed with a wide smile on her face and a bubbly joheun achimimnida! to brighten their mornings. The elders, surprised by her good nature, would wave back with smiles of their own and a lovely take care on your walk!

Sana's bright energy was pretty infectious in that matter, and Dahyun found herself unable to contain her smile because of it.

They reached a part where they had to climb up enormous boulders with their entire bodies. Sana, being the one tasked to take care of her, let Dahyun go up first, making sure that she doesn’t fall back. With a slight push from Sana, Dahyun hoisted herself up and steadied herself on the rocky surface.

When she stood up, her eyes were graced with the view of a million suns.

Right in front of her were jagged peaks of different heights – some being on their level, and some reaching up the clouds. In the far distance, behind the peaks, was the early morning sun taking a peek to cast shadows on the mountains and light up the sky.

It was breath-taking.

“How’s the view up there?” Sana asked, her voice a bit strained from increasing its loudness for her to be heard.

Dahyun turned around, still smiling, and offered a hand for Sana to take. The older girl took it, then together, they got her to climb up to where Dahyun was.

And, as expected, she, too, was taken aback by the wonders of nature.

“I thought the photos online were already beautiful but this…” Dahyun watched her intently and noticed how Sana’s lips jutted out with every word she uttered. “This is more beautiful.”

“Yeah,” Dahyun agreed without knowing what it was she had pertained to. Dahyun pulled her by her forearm and sat them down by a cliff – not too close for them to fall into the unknown, but not too far for them to just enjoy the unobstructed view. She then took the video camera from Sana’s hands and began filming.

“Do you make movies, Dahyun-chan?” she asked her in utmost curiosity.

“Only for leisure,” she confessed as she continued to roam her camera. “I’ve been learning a few pointers from my best friend. She’s the one who’s into movies, not me.” She ended the panning with Sana’s face front and center. “Say hi for the camera!”

Sana grinned. “Annyeong hashimnikka!” she greeted with a soft voice. “Sana-haeyo! Dahyun-chan is making a film about me, as you can see…”

“I’m not!” Dahyun whined – to which Sana pouted. Right in front of the camera. Dahyun felt her defenses weakening bit by bit. “Unnie, that’s unfair.”

“What’s unfair?” she asked – more like taunted the poor girl – as she pouted even more.

Dahyun bit her lip while she watched her through the camera. “That! That thing you’re doing!”

“This?” She inched closer and closer to the camera with that pout until she was practically on top of Dahyun. It was at that moment that Dahyun had to shield herself from the girl out of fear for her own life, yet Sana only laughed at her and poked her on the sides.

“Unnie!” Dahyun squirmed on the ground, her film footage probably going around in circles now. “Hajima! Stoooop!”

“Promise me you’ll make a film about me first,” Sana said with all seriousness, still poking Dahyun without a care in the world.

“Arasso! Arasso!” Dahyun finally relented. “Okay, I promise! Now get off me jebal.”

“Good answer,” Sana said, giggling. She then pried the camera away from her hands and showed herself with the still heavily panting Dahyun in the background. “Yeorobun,” she spoke to the handheld. “Everyone, you heard what she said. She promised to make a film about me, arachung? If she doesn’t…” she glanced at the girl behind her with a sly smirk. “She’ll never get a girlfriend.”

Dahyun’s heart stopped for a while. She felt her brain shutting down. What now?

But Sana only shrugged and laid down beside her, the camera showing the two girls laying on top of the rock. “It’s amazing here, isn’t it, Dahyunnie?” she asked her, her entire body facing the stunned girl who only hummed. Sana took it as a yes. Then she said something that made Dahyun’s heart swell even more than it already had been: “I’m so glad I met you on this trip, Dahyun-chan.”

☾

They left when other people began to flock to their space. On the way back to their parked motorbike, Dahyun felt lighter than she did at the start of the trip. She didn’t know exactly why but she has an inkling... she thought.

Things were more or less as jovial as they were before with Sana conversing with her the whole time and pointing out all the pretty things that Dahyun would not have noticed if it had not been for her. Like the blue butterfly that was perched on one of the farmer’s hats.

Then again, she noticed the… unwanted… things that Dahyun could have lived without ever seeing.

“Is that a snakeskin?” Sana thought out loud with wonder dripping in her voice. She pulled Dahyun towards the white material then poked it repeatedly. “So does that mean a snake is probably nearby?”

Dahyun felt the color draining from her face. If there was one thing that terrified her the most in the world, it was those reptiles. “S-Sana…”

“Dahyunnie, touch it! It feels so rubbery.” Now she took the entire thing and paraded it right in front of Dahyun’s face. “Come on, live a little!”

The younger girl wanted to cry. She had hoped that fear was written all over her face so that Sana would stop, but the girl was insistent. Against her will, she reached out with her index finger and actually touched it.

But for like half a second.

As soon as she did, she retracted her hand and ran away, leaving the older girl behind, absolutely confused. She placed the skin back where she found it and ran after her, laughing at her misery. Again. “Yah! Wait up!”

By the time they reached the bike, they were both out of breath and panting, and Dahyun was close to tears, while Sana was still smiling. A strange sight, really. Sana, noticing her distress, placed her palm on Dahyun’s forehead to check if she was okay. “Mianhaeyo,” she apologized. “Did I take it too far?”

“Just a little bit,” Dahyun admitted. “C-can we go now?”

“Geurae,” she agreed. Sana opened the compartment again and took out their helmets. And like she did earlier, she carefully placed one on Dahyun’s head and made sure it was perfectly fitted for the girl. “There. Ready? Let me put your GoPro back in.”

“Ani, ani,” Dahyun refused. “I-I’d like to get some parts of our ride on film. If you don’t mind.”

Sana’s smile grew wider. “Okay, but keep close to me, arasso?”

The ride back went by more smoothly especially with Dahyun feeling more comfortable now with the prospect of her sheltered self on a motorbike. Like what Sana asked of her, she kept herself close to the girl, placing a chin on her shoulder and an arm wrapped around her waist as her other hand remained outstretched with the GoPro sticking out to film the two of them as they travelled past the picturesque roads.

Every second felt like what freedom should feel like.

She was happy. Genuinely happy.

She’d like to think that Sana was, as well, even though they never spoke a word that whole time. (They wouldn’t hear each other very well anyway.) When she felt like she had enough footage, she shortened the camera stick and held onto it as she finally wrapped both arms around Sana as she took in their surroundings and revelled in glory of nature. It felt safe.

At one point, Sana took a detour towards a road with a signage indicating the way to the waterfalls. “Unnie!” she loudly called out to get her message across. “Where are we going!”

“You’ll see!” Sana replied, shouting. “Just trust me!”

And that she did.

Sooner rather than later, Dahyun was met with high-rising palm trees that lined both sides of the road and welcomed them warmly and invitingly. “Wow,” she gasped out.  From her view at the rear, she was amazed by the way that Sana looked against the foreground as they delved deeper and deeper into the road they were taking. Dahyun knew she had to capture this.

Within a few more minutes, the two girls spotted other guests pouring out of their respectively parked vehicles by a wide expanse of land that housed several souvenir shops and food stalls. Sana turned left to where the other bikes were and slowed down until they came to a halt. Using her right foot, she kicked the stand open and let the bike be steadied. And with one swift motion, she went off the vehicle and lent a hand for Dahyun to do the same.

Once they took out their helmets, Dahyun launched into questions. “Where are we?”

“Right now, Dahyunnie,” she began. “You’re standing at the jump off point for the most famous waterfalls in this town with the clearest waters and the best donuts.”

“Donuts?” Dahyun pointed out, confused by the sudden association.

“Chocolate-infused donuts,” Sana highlighted. She linked their arms once more and led them towards one of the food stalls where a few people were lined up. “Tah-dah!”

Just one look at the pastries was enough to have Dahyun’s stomach grumbling and churning. “Daebak,” she breathed out. Sana looked at her with a proud smile. “How did you know I liked chocolates?”

Sana was rather pleasantly surprised. “Ah, you do? Then we came to the right place then. Allow me.” She turned towards the smiling woman who was holding up a chocolate bun with one hand and infusing it with chocolate syrup with the other. “Ahjumma,” she caught her attention sweetly. “We’d like a chocolate donut please!”

Nodding, the woman added more syrup to the bun she was holding until the chocolate overflowed and wrapped it with a paper holder before giving it to Sana. “Please enjoy, my sweet.”

Sana gladly took the pastry from her hand then brought it up to Dahyun’s mouth. “Say ah!”

To which Dahyun obliged. (Who was she to say no?) She opened her mouth widely and let Sana feed her. As soon as she chocolate hit her tastebuds, Dahyun’s eyes widened with ecstasy. Sana grinned at her from ear to ear as she watched her eat the luscious pastry and then wiped a trail of chocolate that dripped from the bun onto the corner of her mouth. Finishing up the hearty bite, she finally spoke to Sana. “That – “

“Mhmm,” Sana agreed, now biting into the donut. “Most famous chocolate buns ever.”

Dahyun then bought three more for the two of them, chalking it up to a probability of them getting hungry later on. (She couldn’t fool Sana, though but she let Dahyun do what she wanted nonetheless.)

☾

The trail to the falls was more forest-y now compared to the trail they took on earlier. They had more people with them, as well, but they paid them no mind. All her attention was on Sana, who, because of the life vest wrapped around her torso, somehow had the tendency to trip on the smallest of rocks and twigs even more.

And since her hold on the younger, shorter girl was rather tight, it only meant that Dahyun tripped with her as well.

All caught on camera, too. They looked ridiculous but they were laughing anyway.

Then at the end of the uphill trail, they found themselves in paradise.

There in front of them was a wide-mouthed river with the clearest blue the two girls had ever seen. In the middle was a step-like rock formation where the other guests climbed up to reach the commencement of the natural slide it made. From the right side, the sound of a woman shrieking caught their attention and they watched as the woman plunged right into the water from a rather tall cliff where another woman was perched, laughing hysterically. The first woman who dived eventually resurfaced and shrieked at the other: “You are so dead after this!”

“Unnie,” Dahyun said, tugging on Sana’s hand. “Can we try that?”

Sana looked at her, bright-eyed. “Cliff diving?” Dahyun nodded. “Omo! My baby is all grown-up and courageous now.”

“And the slide, too?” Dahyun did her best to look cute.

“Aigo!” Sana squealed, pinching her cheeks repeatedly. “For you, Dahyunnie, we will!”

They left their things on one of the designated tables away from the other guests then went in the waters where they waded and swam until they got to the other side where the path to the top of the cliff diving spot was located. By some form of universal intervention, there were no other people atop the spot and so they were immediately greeted by the guides guarding the area.

Dahyun felt a slight tinge of fear when she saw how high up they were.

“Is this your first time cliff diving?” one of the guides asked. Dahyun gulped, nodding slightly. The man gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, you’re protected by your life vest. You’ll rise up in no time.” She led the two of them a few meters away from the edge. “So what you’ll do is, you’ll run from this point up to edge of the cliff right there, alright? But don’t stop right before, or you’ll lose your momentum.

“And once you’re in the air, make sure to cross your arms across your chest like you’re an X-woman,” he joked to provide a sense of relief to her nerves. “You can also pinch your nose if you’d like. Then lastly, keep your feet together. Is that clear?”

“That’s,” Dahyun gasped out an incredulous laugh. “That’s a lot to take in.”

“You’ll be fine,” the guide assured her one more at the same time as Sana yelled, “Dahyunnie hwaiting!”

But maybe that was enough boost of confidence for her. She inhaled deeply, handed her camera to Sana so she can film her, then with a determined look, exhaled deeply. “Dahyunnie hwaiting,” she whispered to herself.

She took off, slowly at first, then at full speed.

But –

When she got to the edge, she did the one thing that the guide told her not to do.

She stopped.

Losing momentum, but too late for her to turn back, Dahyun just jumped with her trembling legs and went into a free fall with that “fuck-it” attitude she would be needing.

In the air, Dahyun felt herself leaving a part of her soul for the second time in one day. And not to mention, the moment with her up in the air felt too long that she was starting to get jittery in the legs.

But at the same time, the adrenaline fuelled her insides and made her heart race with welcome excitement. She loved it. She loved every second of it –

That was when she plunged deeply into the water with the biggest smile on her face.

When she came to her senses, she paddled upwards with her feet and let herself be carried back up to the surface.

And the moment her face broke the surface tension and felt the warm rays of sunshine hitting her face again, she felt like an absolute winner.

She screamed a loud, “Woo!” Sana yelled right back.

The older girl disappeared, and within a couple of moments, she, too, was falling beautifully and near-noiselessly into the water with that beautiful form of hers that made her look like a fairy diving into the clear waters.

She held her breath. It was insane, really. All Dahyun could think of was how someone as beautiful as her could manage to most everything flawlessly.

Sana soon re-emerged right next to her with her thrown back and shaking off the water from her hair. Then when she met the younger one’s eyes, she smiled widely and yelled, “You were amazing!”

“Ani,” Dahyun refuted, widely smiling. “You were amazing.” She then noticed Sana’s face crumple into worry. “Wae? Why, unnie? What’s wrong?”

“You’re bleeding!” She exclaimed, cupping her face tightly and looking for the source of bleed.

Dahyun let her tongue run across her teeth and finally got a hint of that iron-like taste. “Huh, I guess I am.”

Sana stopped scanning her face and instead frowned at her. “How are you so calm about this!? When all you’ve done the whole was to not be calm!?” Sana yelped, her doe eyes big and filled with worry.

But it was Dahyun’s turn now to be teasing. With her eyes crinkling, eyebrows wiggling, and her smile turning into a tight-lipped one that went from ear to ear and showed off a bit of teeth, she taunted Sana. “Are you concerned about me, unnie?”

All forms of emotion left Sana’s face then as she looked at Dahyun’s annoying face.

Then –

“How!” She felt her arm being hit. “Can!” And another. “You!” Yet another. “Joke!” It was beginning to grow numb. “About!” Still she went on. “This!” Still Dahyun smiled her Cheshire smile.

And did the unthinkable.

She placed a finger on Sana’s lips to hush her. “Unnie,” she said quietly, now placing her hands on her waist. “I’m more than fine.” Sana pouted again, trying to get into a crack in Dahyun’s system. But Dahyun knew she had the upper hand this time. “If you keep doing that, I might have to kiss you.”

The older girl, visibly taken aback but just for a split second, raised an eyebrow. “Getting cocky now, aren’t we?”

“I thought you liked confidence?”

Sana began giggling, then as her mouth grew wider and her eyes became smaller, her giggles evolved into a loud laughter that had her shoulders shaking and Dahyun laughing with her, as she put her arms around the younger one’s neck and hit her lightly on the chest. “This fool. Dahyunnie pabo.”

☾

The two were now eating their remaining donuts as they huddled up on one corner while watching one of their clips. It was one of them going down the slide together – Sana holding the camera up front and Dahyun gripping on her shoulders from behind. Dahyun was teasing Sana for her high-pitched yells when a shadow blocked the sun from their view.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” greeted the friendly voice of a woman. Dahyun and Sana looked up from the camera to see two women standing before them with warm smiles and a pot of rabokki. They were the two unnies at the cliff diving spot when they arrived, Dahyun realized. “Do you girls mind if we share your table? We brought food in exchange.”

The two girls sat up and made space for the newcomers as they let themselves settle on the seat across them. “Annyeonghaseyo,” Dahyun greeted back. “My name is Dahyun. And this is Sana.”

“It's very good to meet you, Dahyun-ssi, Sana-ssi. Na Seulgi-imnida,” the taller woman reached across to shake her hand. “I'm Seulgi. And this is my wife, Joohyun. She's the one who cooked this rabokki.”

Wife. The word echoed in both their minds in amazement, but they did not let on, afraid of offending anyone without meaning to.

“I hope you girls don't mind," Joohyun began to speak, her voice like a calm breeze dripping in honey. Both Sana and Dahyun shook their heads vehemently and began to rearrange the table to make room for the couple. "Please, share this with us. I accidentally made too much for the two of us,” Joohyun added.

“We don’t have anything to give you back, though…” Sana replied rather apologetically, her upper lip jutting again. Dahyun tried her best not to be consumed by the need to touch the older girl's lips again.

But Joohyun waved her off. “Your company is enough. It’s nice to meet new people while we’re on our honeymoon.” Sana shrugged and accepted the invite then blew on the food for Dahyun. Joohyun smiled at the gesture then side-eyed her wife playfully. “I’m getting tired of this one already anyway.”

Seulgi seemed stricken. “You are?” she asked sadly.

A loud laugh erupted from the other woman, to which Dahyun and Sana followed suit. “Ani, of course not, yeobo. Saranghae,” she added with a playful finger heart. Seulgi’s face immediately became moon-shaped with her bright smile. Joohyun then diverted her attention back to the younger ones as she took a piece of tteokbokki. “What about you two? Are you here on your honeymoon too? Or just vacationing -" Dahyun was surprised at the assumption to say the least - something which the observant woman managed to catch on rather quickly. "If you don't only of course," she rambled. "I'm sorry if I'm assuming-"

“Just vacationing,” Sana finally answered for her as she brought the food to Dahyun’s mouth. Joohyun visibly relaxed at the affirmation. “It’s our second day here.”

“I told you they were together,” Joohyun snickered, causing Seulgi to brighten up even more.

“How did you know?” Sana played along with a glint in her eyes.

“She said you girlfriend – ” Seulgi smiled at Dahyun then. “here reminded her of me. Honestly, I don’t see it? Except maybe for our monolids...”

“Seulgi-yah,” Joohyun said, exasperated. “You were a blabbering mess when we were starting to date.”

The taller one was aghast. “Have you not seen yourself!? You’re practically a goddess who paid me attention!” She then glanced back at Sana and Dahyun sheepishly for her outburst, but the two only watched, very much entertained. “Joesonghamnida,” she apologized. “Sorry about that.”

“A blabbering mess,” Joohyun mouthed at Sana, who laughed heartily in return. “It’s such a breath of fresh air to meet other female couples around here, don’t you think? It makes me feel more at ease.”

“De, I couldn't agree more.” Dahyun, curious to know why she reacted that way, stared at Sana attentively. Sana looked at her sideways briefly before addressing the older woman properly again. “It’s like having a girlfriend and a best friend and a dongsaeng all at the same time, and you just love to baby her all the time.” She finished her remarks with a slight squeeze of Dahyun’s hand.

God knows she tried to not smile.

Joohyun seemed absolutely satisfied by the answer. “I get what you mean.”

“Of course you would,” Seulgi chirped. “You practically lured me into being your sugar baby.”

“Aish,” she retorted with an eyeroll. “You love your sugar mommy anyway.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Seulgi replied, leaning her head on her wife’s shoulder. She observed Dahyun then, who was busily running her thumb at the back of Sana’s hand. The older, monolidded girl’s heart fluttered at the sight. “Unnies. They make you feel safe, don’t they?”

“Hm,” Dahyun answered dreamily. “They do. So much.”

☾

“Hey, lesbian lovers.”

Dahyun and Sana were currently on Sana’s bed after a long day’s adventure. They were again going through the clips that Sana thought had brought out the best in their trip. Sana was practically laying on top of with her arm and leg draped across the younger one’s body as Dahyun held the camera firmly – or else it would end up hitting both their faces.

They looked up without bothering to change their position at the sound of the voice of Nayeon, who was visibly smirking at the entrance of their room. “Dinner tonight? It’s our last night here, and Momoring and I thought it would be nice to spend it with you guys. We’ve invited Ji-hoon-oppa too.”

“Sounds good, unnie.” Dahyun tried to sit up, but Sana wouldn’t budge. When she looked down at the girl on top of her, she smiled to herself at the sight. She was pretending to sleep.

“We’re leaving in a few minutes. Ji-hoon-oppa is just getting the car.” Dahyun nodded in understanding. Nayeon was about to go when she decided to help out the not-really-poor-but-trapped-anyway girl. “Sana, if you don’t get your ass up, you’re paying for all of us.”

She immediately jumped out of bed. “Dahyun-chan, what on earth are you so slow for? Gaja!”

Dahyun shook her head in disbelief as Sana looked under her bed for her outdoor slippers.

Then her mind began to race as she realized one thing.

Neither of them corrected Nayeon.

☾

The place was setup on a makeshift bamboo bridge erected by the seaside such that Dahyun could clearly appreciate the sunset on the horizon as the orange met the blue and the birds flew in the skies in clustered silhouettes. Orange lights lined the framework of the bridge, as well, casting a warm glow not just on the place but on their mesmerized faces as well. Dahyun looked up to the person next to her, curious to see what she thought about all this, and was not surprised at all when she was met with the lights dancing in Sana’s doe-like eyes as she watched in amazement. Another thing that she noticed was that she had a really beautiful nose and an equally beautiful cleft chin that would not be apparent if one had not been paying attention.

And Dahyun paid attention to her newfound friend. That much she did.

The snap of a camera snapped her out of her thoughts. Both Sana and Dahyun looked at the source of the sound.

Nayeon was flapping the polaroid film as Momo waited curiously from behind her. When the image finally transpired, both women grinned brightly and looked back up to see Sana and Dahyun with big question marks on their faces. Nayeon went over and gave the photo to Dahyun. “Keep it. Memories last longer.”

When she flipped the photo over, Dahyun was surprised.

It was none other than a photo of her looking absolutely smitten at Sana.

She felt a blush creep upon her face, but Sana’s voice became the saving grace. “Unnie! This is such a great photo. Gomawo.” She took the photo from Dahyun and batted her eyelashes. “Dahyunnie…”

Dahyun rolled her eyes. She wanted to keep it, but now she believed that the clips she had of them were enough. “You better frame that.”

Sana squealed in delight and hugged her tightly around her shoulders. Dahyun couldn’t help but feel warm from the vanilla-like scent that filled her nostrils.

“Food is ready,” Ji-hoon announced as he escorted the girls to their seaside table. Dahyun felt her stomach grumble at the sight. They were finally having pizza and some deep-friend spring rolls. “Dig in, please. We’re proud of these.”

“It’s so beautiful here,” Momo voiced out loud as she captured photos with her phone. “It’s a good last night in this town.”

Nayeon hummed in agreement. “I wish Mina were here.”

“Why don’t you call her?” Sana offered. Dahyun nodded. “She can eat with us if she wants to.”

“I did, but she said we can just do it later.” Nayeon was obviously not up for the conversation.

Dahyun tried to lift the mood back up as she swallowed the bite off of Sana’s slice that was being offered. “Where’s your next destination, unnies?”

“Nayeon’s flying straight to Japan, but I’m going to the city,” Momo said as she took her second slice and filled it with hot sauce. Dahyun smiled at her enthusiasm for food. “I wanted to go to this field of flowers there. It’s one of the original parts of our itinerary for this trip.”

“I’ve heard about that,” Sana chimed in. “I’ve been meaning to go there, too.”

“When are you checking out, by the way?” Nayeon asked.

“Oh, uh…” Sana trailed off while she looked at her phone calendar. Her face stilled a bit before she looked back up with a strained smile. “The day after you guys, apparently.”

Dahyun could not help the pang of sadness that overcame her when she heard this.

“I’m going to miss this place,” Nayeon voiced her thoughts out loud. “It’s really beautiful.” She smiled slyly at Ji-hoon, who was happily listening to their conversation, then patted him on his back. “And our oppa here has done such a good job at taking care of us, hasn’t he?”

A euphony of agreements erupted from their table, making Ji-hoon blush out of embarrassment.

But Sana was quick to notice the shift in Dahyun’s mood despite the high spirits. She nudged her with her elbow and whispered into her ear while Nayeon and Momo conversed with Ji-hoon. “Hey.”

“Hmm? Wae?” Dahyun feigned ignorance.

“You good? You became quiet.”

“Oh, that, yeah.” She sighed then, unable to keep her sadness in, but unable to meet the older girl’s eyes as well. “Just… thinking about how quickly time passed by.”

“I get what you mean,” Sana agreed sadly. “But we have a night’s worth of drinking and a full day ahead tomorrow,” she piped up, squeezing Dahyun’s hand repeatedly and laying her head on her shoulder. “Let’s focus on the time we have, yeah?”

Dahyun wanted to say no, stay, but she found that she could not seem to. So instead she rested her cheek against the top of Sana’s head and maybe by pretending, this would stretch the time that they had.

☾

“Bottom’s up!"

They clanked their mugs in the air – all five of them – and proceeded to chug down the ice-cold beer that Momo had bought for them.

Dahyun wasn’t a drinker, never was. Maybe one sip from her best friend, Chaeyoung’s, glass during one of her birthday blow-outs, but outside of that, she never did like the taste of alcohol.

What she liked were sweet things. Like the chocolate donuts that she shared with Sana earlier. Now that she would love to have a repeat of – but perhaps also the entire day if she could.

Yet, now, she found herself enjoying their way of bonding and getting to know each other. She laughed at every single one of Nayeon’s jokes, with Momo whenever she laughed happily to herself, at Ji-hoon whenever her unnies would make him blush, and at Sana whenever she was pulled into the theatrics of the two older women.

Heol, even Dahyun brought out her funny dances.

(Part of her knew that she was getting drunk, but did she care? Chaeyoung would even be proud of her.)

“Hey,” Manu greeted them as he entered the threshold with a bag of dragon fruits.

“Manu!” All four girls rushed to his side to pull him to their circle.

“Join us!” Nayeon spoke in full English as pulled up a seat between herself and Sana. “It’s our last night here so we thought we’d celebrate.”

“It’s the last supper!” Dahyun excitedly choked out – in English, too – without thinking. Aish. More good place points lost for me then.

“You know English?” Sana asked Dahyun, clearly amazed. Dahyun smiled timidly. “Can you teach me how to ask him where he want today?” Dahyun nodded then whispered in her ears as Sana caught Manu’s attention and followed every word that the younger one said. “How… was… your… day?”

From across the table, Nayeon gave her a huge grin and two thumbs up. Sana felt proud of herself.

“I chased some waterfalls – oh, kamsahamnida,” he excitedly shared and thanked Momo who gave him his glass of beer. “Maybe 4 or 5 waterfalls? I lost count.”

The drunk Dahyun was a bit more talkative. She leaned against Sana’s side body as she proudly announced: “Sana-unnie took me to a waterfall, too! We jumped off a cliff and slid down the rocks and ate rabboki with Joohyun-unnie and Seulgi-unnie and chocolate donuts.”

The older ones laughed at her but indulged in her enthusiasm at the same time. She felt Sana wrap an arm around her and squeeze her side. She never let go of Dahyun the whole night.

The drinks kept pouring thanks to Momo’s stealthy hands and quick eye on who wasn’t drinking. Even Ji-hoon became a bit louder and actually talked to Manu about himself. Dahyun, despite herself, was able to keep up with the conversations and helped Sana in translating everything real time for the girl to remain in the loop. In the end, they were all amazed by how fluent Ji-hoon turned out to be in English.

“You’re from Brazil, right, Manu?” Ji-hoon opened.

Manu nodded enthusiastically. “I am, but my father is half African. I got my curly hair from him.”

“Curly looks good,” Momo cheered for him, holding up an okay sign with her finger. “Very cute.”

“Kamsahamnida,” Manu bowed down in his chair. “Your bangs look cute, too.”

The three girls threw some snacks at the two of them as they howled teasingly.

Nayeon was suddenly curious. “You have an accent. Is that Spanish?”

“Portuguese,” Manu explained. A round of daebaks simmered in their place. “Brazilian Portuguese.”

“And what brought you here?” Ji-hoon asked, unconsciously placing a hand on Sana’s knee.

“Travel,” he said simply. “I want to travel before starting university.”

Nayeon was about to ask more when her phone suddenly vibrated and lit up in the middle of their table. Their nosy selves all looked at the photo and went into a fit of teasing when it had read, Minari.

Nayeon, now uncaring and distracted, put on a wide smile that highlighted her flushed cheeks and answered her phone with the loud voice that they still had not gotten used to yet. “Mina-yah, nae sarang, saranghae! I love you, Myoui Mina, the love of my life! I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!” she screamed loudly, causing not only them, but Mina as well to flinch – albeit with a hearty laugh and a joking gomawoyeo.

The eldest of them stood up then, leaving everyone else behind now that she had the love of her life with her after a long day. Dahyun swore that she her mood had gone through at least 10 different moods over the course of dinner and now, this.

“That’s her girlfriend?” Manu asked Momo in English, who nodded in response.

“My two best friends,” she explained slowly, pointing to herself. “Now I’m their third wheel.”

The rest of the table laughed at her self-pity-founded jest.

Manu then looked at Sana and Dahyun on his other side. Sana was folded in on herself, hugging Dahyun by her waist and snuggling up to the crook of her neck comfortably. “And you?” he asked them. “How long have you two been together?”

Sana looked up at the same time as Dahyun tilted her head down. The latter was surprised at the sudden proximity of their faces. “How long has it been, Dahyunnie?”

Two can play at this game. “I don’t know. Two days?”

Sana nodded then looked at Manu straight in the eye without a hint of joking. “Two days,” she said, holding up two fingers in the air. Manu’s mouth hung open as she clapped for them in amazement.

(If the clockwork in Ji-hoon and Momo’s minds were turning at what the two had just done, they did not let on.)

“You two kind of look alike,” Manu commented admiringly afterwards.

Dahyun shrugged and threw two peace signs up in the air. “Soulmates things.”

☾

It was 1AM now and they were all properly drunk. Mina joined them the rest of the time because her girlfriend would not let her end the call. At one point, Dahyun suddenly said, “Mina-unnie yeppeo”, out of the blue and only partly provoked by the bare-faced beauty from Nayeon’s phone screen.

Of course, she received a fair yelling from Nayeon saying, “stick to your own girlfriend!”

“I got her.” Sana squished her cheek against Dahyun to appease the older girl. “I got her.”

They all said their goodnights, even prompting a jaljayo from Manu, who was stoked to have learned a new word. Nayeon and Momo kissed Sana and Dahyun on each cheek, telling them of how glad they were to have met them, and kept saying goodbye because they might not see each other anymore in the morning. Even Mina, whose eyes were half-closed but still smiling, told them “thank you for taking care of my jagi.”

Manu went ahead of them, and when the two girls entered their shared room, his dividers were shut tight, and they could hear gentle snores coming from within already.

Dahyun walked Sana up to her bed, grinning from ear to ear with eyes almost completely closed. She pulled Sana in for an attack hug and buried her face on the crook of her neck. “Gomawo, unnie. Thank you for today.”

Sana patted her on the head then cupped her face. They remained like that for a while as Sana studied her face with her cheeks puffed out. Then – “Sleep next to me?”

Dahyun’s throat went dry. “O-okay.”

And so the two of them, despite their alcohol-laced breaths, faced each other, running a hand across their cheeks and just stared. For Dahyun, it was easy to get lost in the galaxies in Sana’s eyes, for they were so deep that Dahyun felt like her thoughts were miles and miles away from her, floating mindlessly in the depths of her orbs.

She wished she knew what was going on in Sana’s mind, too. Did her own thoughts get lost in Dahyun’s dark orbs, as well?

But a deep, nagging, and righteous voice at the back of her mind told her: you just met her… you have no right to ask.

Even though a louder, clearer, and more meaningful voice told said: take a leap of faith, Kim Dahyun.

☾

She splashed running water on her face, eager to wake up from her grogginess. Beside her, Sana happily hummed a tune as she brushed her teeth and bumped her hips against hers. At least neither of us had a hangover. I’m just sleepy, she defended herself.

The morning came sooner than Dahyun thought. A huge part of her wanted to stay in, but a bigger part reminded her that it would be her last whole day with Sana. And besides, the older girl would not let her stay in. For as soon as she woke up, she blew steadily into Dahyun’s ear and whispered, “wake up, jagiya”, to her until she succeeded in rousing her awake with tickles.

And when she did awaken, she found herself being spooned tightly by the older girl whose giggles resonated in her ears.

Now here she stood in front of the sink of their house kitchen, brushing her teeth and wondered if they would be able to catch Nayeon and Momo back here before they went their separate ways. It was too early in the morning still, even for those who did not participate in their drinking party the night before.

Just minding her own business and getting lost in her own thoughts.

That is until she felt Sana’s hands applying sunscreen down her back and on her entire legs.

It wasn’t meant to be anything but a harmless way of managing their time since Dahyun was unusually being such a slowpoke. It probably really didn’t mean anything to Sana.

But for her, it took everything in her not to let her legs turn into jelly right then and there.

Once they were all set, the two girls safely placed their belongings once more in the seat compartment. They were going snorkeling, Sana said, which was not too far from where they were. If she were to be honest, the very prospect of swimming with the fishes excited her, and despite Chaeyoung, her ever-so-supportive itinerary planner (even though she didn’t follow it, thanks to Sana), having already shown her photos of what it looked like, Dahyun knew that it was bound to be different in person.

“Dahyunnie,” Sana said all of a sudden.

“Ne? Do you need anything, unnie?” she asked her concernedly as she turned around.

Looking down, Sana bit on her bottom as she pondered over something, her hands fidgeting with her wallet. “Dahyunnie,” she repeated. Dahyun had a slight inkling where this conversation was going. “I miscalculated something.”

“Go on…”

With her head still hanging low and her cheeks bloated into a puff, Sana met her eyes then with round ones, the internal struggle failing to be hidden from view. “What are your thoughts about borrowing?”

☾

They were now minutes away from the hostel, hearts racing and hands holding tightly on the life vests and snorkeling gear they ‘borrowed’ from the clothesline at the back of the hostel while everyone else was still asleep.

Dahyun prayed a few Our Fathers in her head in hopes of saving her good place points.

And yet, the two were laughing. As they drove on the rental motorbike. As they let their hair flow freely in the wind. As the camera captured every shaky bump in the road and the bright smiles on their lips.

The adrenaline she got from borrowing felt so wrong yet so right and she thought, I’ll worry about this later.

Sana turned left, going into a winding road that ultimately opened into a series of closed establishments that held signs that read ‘snorkelling gear rentals’ and restaurant names, among others. Soon, the once smooth path turned gravelly and when Dahyun looked down, she noticed the sand that were starting to become greater by the volume on the ground.

Sana asked Dahyun to walk a bit when the road became too risky for her to drive on with the two of them on top. As she followed Sana, Dahyun made sure to capture her figure on film as she drove away with the finesse of an experienced driver.

I wonder where she learned how to. Dahyun realized that she had never asked.

Parking the bike safely in place, Sana beamed at Dahyun and took her hand as the two of them descended the sandy steps that opened into the shore. “We’re here.”

Since it was still early, there were only a few people swimming with the same agenda as them. Meters away from the shore were large boats on which other divers held onto before dipping into the water. When Sana and Dahyun locked eyes, probably thinking the same thing, the two immediately helped each other don their life vests and gear and, together, they immersed themselves in the salty seawater and swam towards the edge of the boat.

A man with kind eyes and a friendly smile greeted them. In his hand, he held a stick that was lined with multiples of large, freshly caught sardines. Dahyun stared in awe. She had never seen that many sardines before. “Excited to swim with the sardines?” he asked them.

“De, ahjussi,” Sana beamed back at him. “Are they plenty today?”

He hummed and pointed to a clearing in between the boat where they were and the next one to it. “The best part to take videos would be right there.” He turned his head towards the two once more. “You girls chose a good time. They offer a magnificent wall today.”

Sana and Dahyun locked eyes once more and smiled at each other. “Ready?”

“I am, but I’m not sure if my diving skills are.”

Sana laughed jovially at her. “I got you, Dahyunnie. Here, give me your camera.”

The two of them swam towards the clearing. Dahyun could feel and hear her heart pounding out of excitement. She pulled down her goggles and took in the mouthpiece, and on Sana’s ok signal, took a deep breath and dived into the deep blue sea.

As soon as the bubbles cleared from her view, Dahyun’s eyes widened, awestruck at what she saw.

Thousands – maybe millions – of sardines graciously swam right in front of her eyes, forming what the ahjussi called a ‘wall’. She immediately had one thought in mind: to rush back up and share her excitement with Sana.

But she found that she did not need to.

For there a few inches beside her was the very person she wanted to share the moment with, capturing her amazement and signaling her to swim sideways with the fishes.

So she did.

She followed the fishes steadily, going deep every now and then with her controlled breathing, and kept up with them as she did her very best not to disrupt the wall. She swam and swam with the freedom that she had bestowed upon herself. She swam and swam with the glee of being able do something for herself.

When she was running out of breath, she paddled up and met the summer sun again. Sana soon followed, clapping as much as she could for the girl beside her. “You did so well! You’re such a good swimmer! I’m so proud!”

Dahyun smiled right back, happy about her accomplishment. “It was so beautiful, unnie! Come, let me film you this time.”

The two switched roles right away and dived back in. She captured Sana as she, like her, swam with the fishes and posed with a perfect standing position underwater. Together, they played with the fishes mindlessly and took their time, with Sana sometimes pulling Dahyun towards her, and Dahyun just following wherever she went.

Dahyun realized that even with her mask hiding her face from view, Sana was beautiful. She was the light in the dark blue depths of the sea.

And, just as soon, a thought flitted across her mind.

That, like what she was doing right now, she wouldn’t mind following Sana wherever she went.

☾

The two left the sea when the tides suddenly grew higher. Now, the two of them sat on the shore, admiring the newcomers who swam in the distance.

“Sana-unnie,” Dahyun breathed out. Sana tilted her head towards her direction. “What was your ex like?”

Sana quieted down for a while. “Why do you ask?”

“Nothing, I – “ Truth be told, she didn’t know, as well. But she’d be lying if she said the thought never bugged her. “I’m just curious, I guess. Because you went on this whole trip to forget about him, and in a way, I guess I’m thankful for him?” Sana frowned at the tentative statement. Dahyun just gave a tight-lipped smile. “We wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for him, unnie.”

“I think we would have found each other either way, Dahyunnie” Sana mumbled. Dahyun’s heart lurched. Sana then took a deep breath. “Okay.” She paused, wondering if it was the right decision, but ultimately – “Okay, I’ll tell you about him.

“He’s not actually a recent ex. More like an old love that I never forgot about,” Sana confessed, the words being carefully let out. “He went away to the States while I went to study here, but we promised we’d get back together in the future and marry.” Dahyun clenched her jaw. Sana marrying was a possible prospect she never entertained. Sana scoffed, remembering. “It might sound like a typical, naïve promise made by a puppy love, but back then, I knew we were both serious about it.

“But then things change, I guess, as they always do.” She pulled her legs towards her chest, hugging them, and stared off into the distance with her eyes becoming glassy with tears. “We both dated after we both left Japan, but I believed that those relationships we had after never amounted to anything like what we had, but…” Sana gulped the down the lump forming in her throat. Dahyun pulled her in and let her head rest on her shoulder. “One day, he messaged me out of nowhere and said he was getting married.

“Today’s his wedding day, actually,” Sana finally came to terms with her reality and admitted after a long pause.

Dahyun hugged her even tighter, wanting nothing more but to protect the girl in her arms. She hoped that the support she was giving her at that very moment was enough to pull the sadness out of her, to make things lighter for the good-natured person that she had come to know over the course of the past two days.

She hoped that it was enough. That she was enough.

Sana sat up again, a fake smile now playing across her lips as she wiped the last few tears away. “Aish, I told myself I wouldn’t cry in this trip.” She playfully glared at Dahyun. “You made me break my rules.”

Dahyun held her hands up in defeat. “I’m sorry?”

Sana giggled again, pinching the soft cheeks that she had loved playing with. “Dubu, dubu, dubu. Your cheeks are so soft like dubu.”

Dahyun’s face immediately contorted as she whined, her double chin showing as she tried to move away her head. “Unnie!” But deep down, she was glad. At least this Sana was back.

Sana sighed, letting go of Dahyun. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. I ditched his wedding for this cool trip and got to meet you.” Dahyun bit the insides of her cheek to keep herself from smiling. Sana winked at her. “And besides, girls are so much better at sex,” she said nonchalantly as she stood up and patted the sand off her thighs and buttocks.

Dahyun blinked rapidly, nonplussed. “You’re gay!?”

"Kim Dahyun." Sana frowned at Dahyun with a hand to her chest. “I am so offended right now but you’re cute, so I’ll pretend that you didn’t just ask that.” Dahyun was still staring up at her in disbelief. “Dahyun-chan!” she exclaimed. “How can you be so dense! I literally let Nayeon-unnie call me a lesbian whenever she wants to! Aigo, this poor kid…” she continued to rant as she walked away from Dahyun.

The bewildered girl, still left sitting on the sand, suddenly got back her senses and scrambled to her feet. “Sana-unnie, nal gidaryeojweo!” she shouted. “Wait for me!”

☾

The two of them went back to the hostel right after – in hopes of ‘returning’ their ‘borrowed’ gears before the owners could catch them. Luckily for the girls, both of them weren’t around yet when they got back, and that allowed Dahyun to stealthily hang everything back after washing them with running water while the mastermind stood by the entryway on Dahyun Patrol, as Sana had called it.

Sadly, Nayeon and Momo had also gone their ways, as well – save for a single note written by Nayeon (they assumed) which simply said: practice safe lesbian sex! with hers and Momo’s numbers scribbled at the bottom. Sana bit her lip in front of Dahyun suggestively to further goad the flustered girl.

Feeling the fatigue setting in from the early morning deep-sea exercise, Sana suggested that the two instead spend the rest of the day at the beach after eating lunch at the hostel. It was a different one this time – more beach-like with just the broad expanse of the sea and less of the establishments that proudly stood in the other beach. It was more peaceful, too, which Dahyun appreciated.

The two of them walked hand in hand alongside the shore, just admiring the view and spending some time with each other. The only thing that pulled Sana away from her was a small stray puppy that ran up to her feet and started begging for her attention. Dahyun wasn’t mad, though. The puppy was cute and reminded her of her own Ah-ri.

And the view of Sana being absolutely adorable with that puppy was something she could not pass up on.

“I still can’t believe you’re gay,” Dahyun opened once more when they found a shaded spot to rest under.

“Best believe it,” Sana simply replied. “Why are you so surprised anyway?”

“I don’t know, I guess I was too caught up on your story about your ex.”

“There’s literally what we call bisexuality,” Sana schooled her, which got Dahyun to shy away for a bit with a whispered mian. But the old Sana came back as soon as she left. “Affected, Dahyunnie?” she bantered with her.

Dahyun rolled her eyes, trying to shield her true emotions. “Just a tiny bit,” Dahyun confessed anyway, putting her fingers close to each other to prove a point. She glanced sideways at Sana. “How many female exes have you had?” she asked, not-so subtly.

“Just one,” Sana replied curtly. "Plus maybe two flings?"

The younger girl swallowed the bitterness forming in her mouth. Get a grip, Kim Dahyun. “The ex. Was it serious?”

Sana pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, thinking seriously. “I wouldn’t say that it was. But then again, I was still holding onto the guy I told you about.”

Dahyun hummed. “Do you think you’re moved on now from him?”

This got Sana to sigh deeply. “That’s not so easy to answer, but…” she looked Dahyun straight in the eye and gave a reassuring smile. “I think I’m getting there.”

Her heart fluttered in her chest. “Do you...” Dammit, Dahyun, just say the words.

“Do I…?” Sana tilted her head while looking back at her with those big brown eyes that melted her on the spot. This will be the end of me.

She clenched her jaw once more, poking the inside of her cheek with her tongue out of frustration. She looked back down, cowardice and bravery fighting for dominance in her head. In the end: “Do you think you’re ready for another relationship soon?” she said in a whisper loud enough to get her message across.

Her question hanged in the air for a time long enough to scare Dahyun. When she looked back up at Sana, she was stunned to see the older girl studying her face. When their eyes met, Dahyun wanted so much to bare her heart and soul to her, to let her know that she was, as she had already accepted deep within, falling.

If you asked the Kim Dahyun from a year ago if she would ever come to this point in her life, she would probably laugh at you.

For how could she, the rational Kim Dahyun, fall for someone she just met?

Dahyun never got her answer, however.

A raindrop fell on top of Sana’s hair. A drop at a time, then it was suddenly all-pouring.

Almost instantaneously, the two girls pulled each other up and ran back to their bike.

Still, their hands found each other even during the most absurd moments.

☾

“This sucks,” Yi-sook said, frustrated, as she ended the call that she was just on. “Manu just called. He said he’s stranded in the next town and is unable to come home tonight.” She looked at the two girls before her, fresh from their respective shower and enjoying a bowl of dragon fruit that Yi-sook harvested from her backyard. “Will you two be fine on your own in the house tonight? It’s sad that your unnies just left this morning, too.”

Sana waved her hand to appease the older woman. “We can handle ourselves, Yi-Sook-ssi. Please don’t worry about us.”

“Arasso,” Yi-sook concurred. She looked out the door and into the darkened skies. “Well, I’ll be in the other house if you need me for anything. I don’t think this rain is going to stop soon.” Then left the two on their own.

Dahyun nodded absentmindedly, munching on her fruit. Sana nudged her and offered a coin. “Penny for your thoughts?”

She sniggered. “That’s so lame.”

“But it got you to smile.” Sana teased playfully with a poke on her cheek.

She didn’t fight it anymore. “You always make me smile.”

Sana let out a low whistle. “Kim Dahyun. You’re even bolder now that you confirmed I’m gay, aren’t you?”

Dahyun laughed at her assumption. “Maybe.” She rolled sideways on the hammock to face Sana. “How did you know you were gay?”

“Hmmm… a girl, the only girl ex I told you about, confessed to me a few years back,” she reminisced. “We were already talking pretty frequently then, but when she did, I guess that made me realize that I liked her back.” She looked at Dahyun now. “And you?”

She cleared her throat. “Chaeyoung – that’s my best friend." She added before any assumptions could be made. "–came out to me maybe three years ago. I’m not outing her or anything, by the way, she doesn’t really give a shit what people think of her."

“Good for her.”

“I know, right?” Dahyun grinned, clearly proud of her best friend. “Anyway, when she came out to me and described her feelings and basically engraved in my mind that love is love, I got to thinking, too.” Her somber face suddenly grew into a fond smile. “I remember being so protective over IU in Dream High…”

“She’s your first crush?”

Dahyun snorted albeit flushed by what she had just unconsciously revealed about herself. “IU is queen. You don’t get the right to judge me.”

“I’m not!” Sana quickly defended herself. “I think it’s cute.”

She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, it got me thinking that my protectiveness over certain pretty girls in my life were different from my protectiveness over my best friend, and that, maybe, I’ve always been, you know,” she met Sana’s eyes again, shrugging. “Gay.”

Sana took a sharp intake of breath. “That,” she started. “was the most thoughtful yet least romantic coming out story I have ever heard in my life.”

“Were you expecting something along the lines of me falling in love with my best friend?” Dahyun asked incredulously, repulsed at the thought of being something more with her childhood best friend.

“Uh, yes?!” Sana practically yelled in that high-pitched voice of hers. No wonder she and Nayeon-unnie got along so well. “I was expecting something typical!”

“Hate to break it to you, but I’m not a typical girl,” Dahyun boasted.

The look in Sana’s eyes softened at her words. “That you’re not, Dahyun-chan. That you’re not.”

They stayed like that in the hammock for a while. In complete silence with just the sound of their breaths and the pitter-patter of the rain filling the cool air between them. Dahyun could see that Sana was battling herself with something that she had been dying to say… but couldn’t.

Dahyun thought they weren’t so different after all.

She watched as Sana’s tongue darted across her mouth and wet her bottom lip. The lump in her throat moved as she gulped. Dahyun felt her heart skip a beat. “Dahyun-ah…,” Sana whispered in reverence.

“Sana-chan,” she whispered right back.

Sana inhaled sharply. “S-say that again.”

“Sana-chan?” Dahyun asked, confused.

She watched Sana’s lip tremble slightly as the words fought to roll out of her tongue, her eyes darting from Dahyun’s eyes and down to her lips. “Tsuki ga kirei desu ne, Dahyun-chan?”

Dahyun’s brows furrowed. “I – I don’t quite follow?”

“Don’t think about it,” Sana breathed out, then closed the gap between them.

To say that Dahyun felt the world stop in its tracks was an understatement. All she saw was the raindrops falling from the ceiling from behind Sana. And all she felt were her eyelashes tickling the bottom of her eyes and her lips placed lightly on hers.

Like a feather.

So this is what a first kiss feels like. 

And when her mouth began to move against hers, Dahyun closed her eyes and decided.

Tonight, she’ll wear her heart on her sleeve.

Dahyun had no idea what she was doing, but if she was disappointing her, Sana did not give any indication. She followed every movement that the older girl made, careful not to mess up the rhythm that they had formed. Their kiss deepened with every move that Sana made; her  hands roamed every part of her that they could touch, that Dahyun never knew could ignite like that before. She felt so alive with every kiss that that they shared, only stopping every now and then to gasp for air, and then they were back to finding each other’s lips again.

And when she felt that foreign feeling of a smooth, wet muscle begging for entrance... Dahyun gasped, intoxicated.

“Let’s take this inside,” Sana whispered lowly against her lips. She could only mumble a response.

Even as they walked backwards, Sana never let go of her face and Dahyun never let go of her hips. Blinded by their overflowing feelings, they let their instincts and muscle memory take over as they let themselves be carried into the room that the heavens thought they should share tonight. Blind yet trusting all the way in until Dahyun felt herself being laid carefully down on the bed.

Sana straddled Dahyun, pouring her heart and soul into every deepening that she gave into the kiss.

While Dahyun –

Dahyun wholeheartedly accepted everything.

"Is this okay?" Sana asked as she played with the hem of her shirt. Dahyun responded by holding onto her hands as they pulled her shirt over her head.

Sana pulled away then to take out the soft barriers in between them – piece by piece until they only felt the warmth that each of them had to offer each other on that cold night.

Dahyun looked up from where she laid and admired the goddess that sat on top of her before pulling her back in by her face and roaming her hands all over her.

“Sana-chan,” she whispered, gasping, as Sana trailed open kisses down her neck and all the way to her chest. She stared up at the underside of the bunkbed above and processed how she felt hyperaware about everything in that moment. Sana was gentle yet passionate, and Dahyun thought that if there was one person in the world she’d gladly give herself to, it was her.

But, alas, Dahyun learned that the universe perhaps had other plans for her.

Suddenly, the movement on top of her stilled. Dahyun looked down and saw Sana breathing on her neck just as heavily as she was, her hair cascading down her head as she looked down to shield her from view, but-

“Sana-chan.” Dahyun reached for her face to swat away the loose strands from her face. “What’s wrong?”

Sana looked up at her then with tears brimming in her eyes. She had never seen her look that anguished before, and that very realization made Dahyun snap out of the bubble that she was in and tend to her lover in her distressed state. She pulled the tearful girl in and hugged her, running a hand up and down her back.

Sana sobbed for what seemed like hours as she clutched onto her petite frame and let herself be held tightly back. “I-I can’t, Dahyun-chan.” She lifted her head to look at Dahyun then cupped her face so tenderly that Dahyun immediately leaned into it. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Heavy was the filling that filled her insides. It was Dahyun’s turn now to have tears fill her own eyes, her windpipe constricting in an instant. “What… what are you saying?”

“You don’t deserve someone like me, Dahyun-chan,” Sana said, self-loathing apparent in her words, as she caressed the younger one’s cheeks.

“Sana,” she pleaded, blinking back the tears rapidly. “I don’t care about your past or your exes or that douchebag first love of yours who left you hanging. I have real feelings for you. All of you. You might not believe it, but I mean it,” Dahyun finally confessed with every fiber of her being. “Sana, I-I lo-.”

Sana shook her head, refusing to hear what she has to say with all her might. “You deserve someone who’ll be there for you in the morning and in every morning after. You deserve someone who will give you real love, not someone like me who’s just temporary.”

“But what makes you think you’re temporary?” Dahyun’s voice was desperate now, as she tried to hold Sana’s face still. “W-why are you saying goodbye?”

“Dahyun-chan,” Sana said her name exasperatedly, meeting her eyes with all the brokenness of a grieving, vulnerable person. “I’m leaving tomorrow, or have you chosen to forget?”

That struck a chord in her heart. The reality hit her hard like a raging truck. Dahyun bit her lip trembling lip, her eyes finding their way back to the underside of the bed above. “I see.”

“I'm sorry,” Sana buried her face again in her chest as she cried. “I shouldn’t have let it get this far. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

Dahyun closed her eyes, letting the tears overflow down her cheeks and all the way to Sana’s pillow.

But despite her hurt, she comforted.

“Don’t be sorry,” she said sincerely. “I was the one who fell first.”

Sana sobbed even harder as she nuzzled into her. “You’re too good for me,” she spoke regretfully. “Too good.”

“As are you,” the tear-stricken Dahyun said understandingly. She lifted Sana’s head up by the chin then raised her own to plant a lingering kiss on her lips then on her forehead. “Come on, let me help you pack.”

☾

The storm that raged on outside soon quieted down as the two finished up packing in silence. They were dressed now, but the regretful memories of the night that they had shared tainted both of them in a way that drained them of their energies.

When Sana finally zipped up her bag, she continued to let her head hang low as she mumbled a quiet thank you for the pure-hearted girl across from her.

Dahyun, meanwhile, wanted nothing more but to be looked at again by the eyes that she adored, but she figured that if Sana wasn’t ready, then she’d gladly respect it.

They were about to head to their respective beds when Sana pulled on her hand and made her stop in her tracks. Dahyun looked at her slender fingers hooking onto tinier ones then followed the trail up until she met her still-tearful eyes. “Sleep next to me tonight, Dahyun-chan?” Sana asked quietly. “One last time?”

She knew that she shouldn’t. That she had been hurt too much already in one night.

But she also knew that she couldn’t say no to the one that held her heart.

“Okay,” she mumbled, following Sana back to her bed.

And together, like the night before on the same place, like a few hours ago on that damned hammock, they laid facing each other, just staring lovingly with all the words that they wished to say but dared not to – floating in the still air around them, left unspoken yet felt.

☾

Dahyun stood against the door frame of the other house the following morning, listening in on Yi-sook and Sana’s exchanges as the latter returned the keys of the motorbike to her.

“You’ve been such a wonderful guest, Sana,” the older woman complimented. “I hope you enjoyed your time here.”

“Ne,” Sana responded sweetly. “This place will forever hold a piece of my heart. Kamsahamnida.”

Yi-sook led the way outside and jumped a bit in surprise when she saw Dahyun. “You spooked me there.”

Dahyun bowed lowly and uttered, “Joesonghaeyo. I'm sorry, Yi-sook-ssi, I didn't mean to.”

The host took one look at the two girls who both held their heads low. Sensing a foreboding goodbye in the air, Yi-sook clasped on her shoulder and left the two by their own outside her door.

Dahyun dared look at Sana, who only stared at her shoes in shame. She decided to cut to the chase. “I guess this is goodbye?”

Sana’s jaw tensed as she looked up at Dahyun finally with those doe eyes, a lone tear running down her cheek . “Would you ever forgive me?”

The shorter girl shook her head and pulled Sana in for a hug, inhaling the vanilla scent that she had grown accustomed to. “There’s nothing to forgive,” she said into her neck then pulled away. In spite of the heaviness in her heart, she smoothened the taller girl’s hair and smiled with her crescent-eyed smile at her. “Thank you for making my trip better. You were the best part of it.”

Sana burst into tears then and took her face into her hands for one last kiss. Dahyun melted into her as she, again, let Sana take the heart that was still on her sleeve.

“Sana-ssi, your bus is arriving, I –" Yi-sook stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw them in that state. She stepped back inside as quickly as she exited. "Joesonghamnida."

The pulled away from the kiss albeit unwillingly, then turned to find Ji-hoon bowing lowly behind them. Dahyun, with a bitter smile on her face, nodded towards the exit and walked hand in hand with Sana all the way up the hill.

Once they reached the top where the exit loomed to signify the end, the two girls felt their hearts plummet to the ground when they saw the bus meant for Sana already waiting for her to board. With one last surge of feelings overcoming the two girls, they held each other’s faces once more and kissed in front of everyone with the tears that broke their hearts even more and the unspoken promises that they had hoped to say.

Sana pulled away, not wanting it to go any further, then kissed the back of Dahyun’s hands, leaving it tear-stained. “Tsuki ga kirei desu ne, Dahyun-chan,” she whispered. “Tsuki ga kirei.”

And without looking back, she wiped her tears with the back of her hand and climbed up the stairs to the bus, as Dahyun remained rooted on her spot on the side of the road and watched as the bus became smaller and smaller as it, and the girl that she loved, moved further and further away from her and into the distance.

Leaving her with only half of her heart.

☾

“Daebak,” Chaeyoung exhaled from the other side of the line.

“Yeah,” Dahyun said without another word, sighing.

After Sana had left, Dahyun could not find it in her to become her jolly self. Everything else at the hostel and in that town reminded her of her. Only her.

Dahyun knew she had to get away for a while.

So she found herself back at the shore where she first fell in love with the place on that first night – the shore that led them to the glowing planktons. The sun was up, making the place look very much different than that time. And there she called up her best friend and poured her heart to her.

“You really fell in love with her, didn’t you?”

“It’s so stupid, right?”

“Ani, ani,” Chaeyoung was quick to retaliate her words. “You don’t choose who you love.”

Dahyun sobbed again, the heaviness back in her chest. “It hurts, Chaeyoung-ah. I didn’t expect it to hurt this bad.”

“Did she really not leave a trace?” Chaeyoung asked, not knowing how else to console her.

She shook her head no. “She only left with this phrase that I couldn’t stop thinking about, but I don’t know what it means.”

“Have you tried Googling it?”

“De,” Dahyun shyly admitted. “No search results.”

Chaeyoung hummed afterwards. “If only I had a Japanese friend… maybe they could help you.” Dahyun stilled then, staring at Chaeyoung. The other girl, seeing the invisible lightbulb that lit up in her best friend, asked: “Wae, wae?”

“Chaeyoung-ah,” Dahyun breathed out. “You’re a genius.” She quickly wiped the tears off her face then plucked out a piece of paper from her back pocket. “I’ll call you later!”

With shaking hands, she quickly dialed the second number scribbled on the piece of paper.

“Annyeong hashimnikka, you’ve reached Momo. Please leave a message,” the voice recording greeted instead.

“Ssibal,” Dahyun cursed then tried again, but to no avail. Then her eyes wandered to the other number written there. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized – “Mina-unnie,” she whispered while dialing Nayeon’s number and by some force of nature –

“Yoboseyo?” Nayeon’s voice had never sounded more beautiful in Dahyun’s ears. “Hello? Who’s this?”

“Unnie,” Dahyun spoke gently. “It’s me, Dahyun. I-is Mina-unnie with you? I need to talk to her, please.”

Nayeon, sensing the urgency, was quick to transfer her phone to the confused woman beside her. “Dahyun-chan?” Mina asked from the other end.

“Unnie!" Dahyun could almost cry again at the concerned look she was giving. "What does suki.. suki ga…. Ssibal,” she cursed out of frustration, running a hand through her hair.

Mina frowned at the forlorn girl. “Tsuki ga kirei?”

Dahyun slowly lifted her head up. “That’s it.” Tsuki ga kirei desu ne, Dahyun-chan? "That's what she said to me." She watched as the look on both Mina and Nayeon’s faces transformed from looks of confusion and worry to realization. 

“Dahyun-ah.” It was Nayeon. “Did-did Sana tell you that?” Dahyun nodded. “She left today?”

She gulped down the reality. “De, unnie. Those were her last words to me." She hesitated for a short while. "Have you... Has she called any of you yet?"

Nayeon only gave an apologetic look. Dahyun could not say that she was not the least bit surprised. Mina, not wanting to extend the girl’s agony any longer, cut in. “Dahyun-chan, it's this... saying in Japan that means, the moon is beautiful, isn't it?" Dahyun frowned, unsure where this conversation is going. "Hear me out first. It's a popular phrase there. Commonly used by people who are professing their love but are unable to directly."

The younger girl stilled. Dahyun nearly dropped the phone from her hold.

"Dahyun-chan, I think what Sana-chan meant is that she loves you.” There it was. The validation that Dahyun needed from the whole conversation. Tears began to fall once more on her cheeks. “She just confessed her love to you.”

Her lips trembled. She felt absolutely defeated. Here she was, willing to risk everything for someone that she met only to find that that someone was just as willing – if only it hadn’t been for the circumstances.

If only both of them hadn’t been so scared.

She ran a hand again through her hair, feeling her heart breaking into pieces. “Unnie,” she cried into the phone, not minding the looks that the couple was giving her. “What do I do? She’s gone and – I don’t know what to do.”

“Dahyun-ssi,” Nayeon said seriously – the most serious that she had ever seen Nayeon become. “I think you know exactly what you have to do.”

☾

On top of a wide marble terrace overlooking the rest of the cityscape with the sun setting behind the fluffy clouds in the horizon stood a lone girl who savored the glory of the unique view that was beheld right before her eyes. The air was cool against her skin, and, normally, she loved moments like it.

But that time, she felt rather alone.

Behind her, families took photos of their children running around the fountain or next to the proud golden lion statues erected at the entrance. The groups of friends with them did the same.

And – how could she forget? – there were couples who held hands along the marble borders or down the stairs –  practically wherever, really.

She chuckled to herself. Really? Now you’re being bitter?

But was she not?

For everything was a reminder of her cowardice, of her decision not to take a chance on someone who actually made her feel something for the first time in a while.

Someone who had the most dazzling smile that could make her day brighter and the softest touch that could make her tremble down to her knees.

She took out her wallet which housed a familiar polaroid photo taken by one of the most memorable people she had ever met in her life.

A polaroid photo of herself mesmerized at the sunset as that someone stared up at her like she was far more beautiful to look at than the glory of nature itself.

She felt a lump in her throat as she ran her thumb across her face, pretending that it was her smooth baby cheeks that she was caressing at that moment. She blinked back the tears of regret, not wanting to spill anything on the precious polaroid. “Bogo sipeo, Dahyun-chan,” she whispered into the air, hoping that her words could somehow travel across the cool wind and reach her wherever she may be. “I miss you.”

It had been two days since she left crying on that godforsaken bus where she left half of her own heart with a certain petite girl who knew nothing but to love and understand her.

Two days since she was left with nothing but regret. And now she was here on top of a tourist spot, wallowing in her own sadness.

She took a deep, raggedy breath, then with one final look at the photo, she fished out her wallet to put it back in.

“Tsuki ga kirei desu ne, Sana-chan?” a strangely familiar voice stopped her in her tracks. It can’t be…

She turned around, still holding onto that polaroid film.

And found the one person she had been longing for all this time staring hopefully right back at her with her own tears in her eyes and the beguiling smile forming widely on her lips.

“H-how…” Sana was at a loss for words. Please, if this is a joke… I wouldn’t know what to do.

The other girl – Dahyun – held up a piece of paper (practice safe lesbian sex!) and spoke, “I had help with translations from Nayeon and Mina-unnie.” She took the few tentative steps towards her, similarly aghast at what was happening at that moment. “And they gave me the push to come to the city to find you.

“At first I went to the flower garden where you said you wanted to be, but I didn’t find you there, so I thought perhaps you’d gone at an earlier date or you haven’t gone there yet – ”

“I haven’t gone there yet – “

“See? Already 50% right,” she jested through her tears. They both laughed. “But then Momo-unnie finally called me back and I had to explain to her what happened, so she told me about this place and how she wouldn’t be able to make it here today because a spot in a famous seafood buffet opened up.” They giggled at this. Of course she would give up her place for a seafood buffet. Dahyun then took the last few steps and held her hand. Sana couldn’t believe it. All this was really happening. “And now here I am.”

Sana choked back a sob, smiling. “And now here you are.”

Dahyun brought her knuckles to her lips and kissed them tenderly, closing her eyes. “I also looked through the footage,” she mumbled against her hand. Sana shivered from the vibration it created. “It felt lacking; incomplete without a good ending.”

“So what are you proposing I do?” Sana smiled through her blurry eyes and soaring heart.

“Sana-chan,” Dahyun reached up and cupped her face. “Will you continue making this film with me?”

And this time, Dahyun got her answer.

“De, Dahyun-chan,” Sana sobbed, wiping away the tears in the younger one’s face. “With you, we’d make as many films as you’d like.”

☾ fin ☾