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05:30AM
The sky outside is dim, darkness arching over the landscape and painting everything it touches with a silent serenity. The lull is reflected in the prefecture’s sleeping residents, most still deep in slumber while the cool air outside their windows blows the fallen leaves wherever it pleases.
The sun remains shy between the mountains and no one bats an eye. Except for one.
CARLA thrums a reminder of the time loud enough that it stirs a sleeping Kaoru to consciousness. A grunt. He stretches his limbs out, eyes still shut while he absentmindedly reaches for a familiar heat. When he finds nothing but cold bed sheets, his eyes finally blink open, confused and mildly upset.
Kaoru grabs his phone and squints at the time. His eyes catch the date.
Oh, his heart stops, I’m getting married today.
06:34AM
Ever since he could remember Kaoru has always appreciated traditional wear.
Even when he had that ‘delinquent’ phase in high school, the few chances he had to wear a yukata – usually for festivals or the occasional times his mother would drag him to her calligraphy exhibitions – was a secretly cherished moment for him. The feeling of the thin material against his sensitive skin felt wonderful, the effortless way he could move in it without feeling constrained was the stuff of wonders.
Kaoru never once felt like a fake when he dons them because they act as their own version of an armor, a plate of defense when he steps outside to become Sakurayashiki Kaoru, the calligrapher master.
They’re a part of him as much as programming and skateboarding are. And for that, Kaoru appreciates them very dearly.
Not so much today though. As much as he values the traditional aesthetic, the hakama staring back at him from inside his wardrobe ignites a feeling unlike no other, heartbeat thrumming wildly like the wings of the Japanese white-eye outside his bedroom window, chirping and fleeting around its nest.
It looks, for some reason, infinitely more intimidating than it did the night before.
Slowly, Kaoru reaches out a hand, letting the pad of his fingers trace the thick material of the outfit. Two layers of cotton, the color a deep black and stripes of white and grey to pair it with. It had arrived a couple of days ago and Kaoru recalls it fitting well, customized especially for him by a well-known connection of his introduced by a client.
It doesn’t look any different than the other hakamas grooms always wear but it’s breathtaking all the same because this is an outfit Kaoru never thought he would wear, not in this lifetime. His stomach lurches at the reminder.
Kaoru purses his lips, feeling a little ridiculous for standing so long in front of his wardrobe in nothing but his bathrobe. He had purposely spent extra time in the shower to calm his jittery nerves, massaging his muscles the way he vaguely remembers with the warm water and his almond scented shower oil a heavenly combination for his stiff limbs.
It did help, sort of. Kaoru had stepped out of the shower feeling calmer than he did when he woke up and even spent the extra time to properly dry his hair. But the sight of the hakama kick starts the same twist in his stomach, enough so that Kaoru feels like puking even though he hasn’t actually had any food yet.
It’s horrible.
Sighing, Kaoru rolls his eyes at his own ridiculousness. There’s no point acknowledging his thoughts, he knows this. So, he might as well get dressed. Grabbing the hanger, he pulls out his outfit and starts disrobing.
He has a long day ahead of him, after all.
06:58AM
The hakama looks great on him.
Kaoru knows this, of course, since it’s not exactly the first time he’s tried it. Still, he stands straight in front of the full-length mirror and allows his eyes to slowly take in his whole outfit, from head to toe. His eyebrows tilt upwards in appraisal – it actually looks better than the last time.
The layers don’t drown him, fitting snugly on his broad shoulders, not too tight and not too loose. The colors might be too dark for his personal taste but he admits it looks good against his pale skin and pink locks, a pleasing contrast to the eye. The layers are a comfortable warmth as well for an autumn day.
Kaoru twists in front of the mirror and nods, satisfied.
He is in the middle of fixing his hakama, tucking it neatly against his frame when the bedroom door swings open and a soft voice calls for him. He looks up from his ministrations.
“Mother.” Kaoru greets.
Sakurayashiki Kanae is a beautiful woman, despite time having left its mark on her features. Underneath the artificial lights, she stands poised in a gorgeous faded yellow yukata, cherry blossoms twined around her small frame and pink hair tucked into a neat bun.
Her high cheekbones are framed in a subtle blush and the deep lines at the corner of her eyes lift with the joyful crescent of her smile, warm and inviting from the doorway.
At her smile, Kaoru feels his chest collapsing as if an ocean tide is washing over him. His mother looks no different than she usually does but right now, it feels different – the finality like the epilogue of his favorite book, the turn of the last page.
Starting from today, I won’t be just hers anymore, Kaoru distantly thinks. The tide in his chest drowns him even further.
Noticing his wet eyes, his mother, predictably, laughs. She reaches for his cheeks, caressing the corner of Kaoru’s eyes with the tip of her thumb. He leans in, helpless because he doesn’t think he could ever resist his mother’s touch even at his age.
“My sweet blossom,” Kanae sighs, “you’re still such a crybaby even after all these years, aren’t’ you?”
Kaoru flushes a deep red. “Mother!”
Her laugh chimes gently in the quietness of the room.
Like a petulant child, he pouts down at her when her hands begin fixing his hakama and patting away the invisible dusts that only a mother can see. She mutters about breakfast being ready as she fixes his appearance, chides him to eat more when she graces her fingers around his wrists.
Kanae pauses in the middle of tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, thin lips pursed into a thoughtful line. Emerald green eyes flicker up to meet Kaoru’s molten gold.
“Would you let me do your hair for you, Kaoru?” She asks.
Kaoru sighs, smiling down. What a silly question. “Of course.”
He takes a seat at the vanity table, slipping his glasses off to place it neatly on the surface while his mother settles behind him. “Sit straight, sweetheart.” She reminds Kaoru, gently lifting his hair up to play with the strands, face deep in thought.
The breeze from the open window leaves his bare neck cold, Kaoru shivering despite the thick layers. When Kanae lets it slip between her fingers to grab a brush, his hair cascades past his shoulder and rests just a couple inches above his waist, long and wispy. The scent of jasmine wafts from the fall.
He shifts on his seat, eyes flickering out the window to glance at the tinge of violet accents scattered across the sky. It’s going to be a beautiful day, Kaoru thinks. He turns his attention back to the mirror, glancing at his mother’s reflection to watch her closely.
The purse of her lips, the way she combs his silky strands. He feels like a child again, sitting restlessly on the floor while she attempts to make him presentable, itching to get up and play outside and feel the wind against his skin and the dirt on his hands and the blisters on his knees.
(To run away from the bitter and quiet words exchanged between walls, from the loneliness that echoes through every wall in his home).
The same restlessness returns, tenfold and far more troublesome but this time Kaoru let his eyes flutter close, the deep wrought anxiousness melting away beneath her fingers and his mind drifting into the Okinawan sea.
Not for the first time, his mother’s melodic humming becomes his only anchor.
07:18AM
“My blossom, you can open your eyes now.”
Kaoru blinks his consciousness awake, grunting at his poor vision until he slips his glasses back on. He had actually dozed off, though his subconscious remained dreamless. When his eyes finally register his reflection, the small gasp he let out is genuine.
His hair has been styled into a half up half down, the upper section pulled into a sleek fishtail braid that falls gorgeously down his back while his fringe is swept to the side, no longer hiding his eyes. It’s not an extravagant hairstyle by any means but it frames Kaoru’s face perfectly, a special hairdo for a special day.
It reminds Kaoru of the elaborate hairstyles his mother used to wear – a French braid on cool evenings, a poofy ponytail with face-framing strands for the summer, and a messy hair bun while she prepares for dinner. He looks into the mirror and recognizes nothing but her beauty, wisdom and strength shining through him.
Kaoru twirls a strand around his finger and beams up at his mother from the reflection. His chest bursts with joy. “I love it.”
Kanae laughs, kisses his temple.
07:36AM
Other than earrings and piercings, Kaoru isn't one for jewelry.
Necklaces make the skin around his throat uncomfortable and bracelets are a hassle for him, who needs his wrist bare for his calligraphy. His piercings are neither uncomfortable nor a distraction and though he no longer dons an array of them like he did when he was younger, Kaoru still continues to wear his stud earrings, usually a basic looking one that isn’t too flashy and doesn’t clash with his more traditional aesthetic.
A pair of earrings will definitely complete his whole look for today, Kaoru decides.
He’s in the middle of looking through his earring collection in the vanity’s drawer, frowning down at it through his contact lenses when the bedroom door opens again.
He hears his mother greet the new presence, his heart in his stomach when Kaoru turns around.
“Kojiro, I told you to wait in the living room!”
Kojiro scoffs. “I haven’t seen the love of my life since last night, excuse me for breaking your stupid rule.”
“Well, I don’t want to see you.”
A smirk and a kiss on the back of Kanae’s hand. “Wasn’t talking about you, four-eyes.”
Unperturbed by Kaoru’s withering glare, Kojiro greets Kaoru’s mother a warm good morning and beams at the affectionate pat on the cheek she gives him in response. His eyes flicker to Kaoru, raking them from head to toe with a besotted, awed look on his face that makes Kaoru’s inside warm and cozy, looking away to hide his pleased flush.
When Kojiro turns his focus back to Kanae, it’s Kaoru’s turn to stare at Kojiro.
Unsurprisingly, he looks even better in the outfit, a dashing figure in black and grey. The layers fall gracefully on his broad physique, Kojiro’s usual boyish handsomeness swapped for a classic one, especially with the swept back hair held by a black headband.
For once, he’s fully clothed without any extra skin showing to which Kaoru is very appreciative of. He never truly understood his fiance’s obsession with being bare.
It’s honestly unbecoming though if anyone could pull it off, it would be Kojiro.
Silently and selfishly, Kaoru wishes Kojiro would wear traditional clothes more often if only because he looks unfairly gorgeous in it. But he supposed because it's such a rare occurrence, no one could blame him for letting his eyes roam appreciatively over Kojiro’s form in their matching hakama.
Matching hakamas. Because they're getting married. Today.
Jolting back at the reminder, Kaoru snaps his attention to the other man who is still chatting and laughing at something with his mother. Kojiro looks completely relaxed, too relaxed and Kaoru’s temper flares. "Kojiro, I'm serious. Stop fooling around for once."
It comes out harsher than he meant to, slicing through the idle conversation and blanketing the room with a sudden silence. Red with both embarrassment and shame, Kaoru directs his gaze at his curled hands on his lap.
He distractedly hears his mother excusing herself to leave the room and watches from the corner of his vision as Kojiro kneels down at his side to wrap his hands around Kaoru’s fist, a gentle squeeze.
"Hey.” Kojiro whispers. “I'm not fooling around at all, Kaoru. I'm here because I wanted to check up on you, that's all."
"But I'm not ready.” Kaoru grits, narrowing his eyes before he smooths it over, exhaling the restlessness in his bones to uncurl his fist and tangle his fingers with Kojiro’s. “I want you to see me when I'm ready and I'm...not."
"What do you mean? I think you look absolutely stunning right now, Kaoru."
A scowl. "Shut up."
"I'm serious!” Kojiro exclaims. He pulls their intertwined hands closer, kissing Kaoru’s knuckles so achingly sweet and assuring. “You look breathtakingly beautiful, everyone else is nothing next to you."
"But I'm not done yet…" Kaoru couldn’t help but insist, throwing a dissatisfied look at the mirror across him. It sounds extremely superficial and perhaps it is, but Kaoru can’t shake the nagging voice in his head that’s screaming about how incomplete he looks.
Kojiro, because he’s always been perfectly understanding when it comes to Kaoru’s anxiety, nods. "Is that so? Then what else do you need?"
"... Earrings."
"Earrings? Okay, yeah. I can see it. Have you chosen which one to wear?"
"No, too many.” Kaoru jerks his head towards his collection, sighing at the rows of stud earrings glinting back at him. “I want it to be a perfect match."
Kojiro hums, eyes scanning each stud with a quiet concentration he would usually reserve for in the kitchen. Classic Kojiro, Kaoru fondly muses, glancing sideways. Always taking his concerns seriously, as if it was his own.
In his focused state, Kaoru lets himself greedily stare at his fiancé’s side profile, soaking up the little details; the furrow of his thick eyebrows, the lack of stubble he had just yesterday and the dark circles under his eyes as if he couldn’t sleep at all the whole night. Like a schoolgirl with a crush, Kaoru’s heart flutters in excitement at just how handsome Kojiro is.
He almost misses it when Kojiro points at one of the stud earrings. "Got it! I think this one is perfect."
Kaoru picks it up, appraising. It’s a beautiful jewelry piece, shaped in a unique floral design and decorated with a rare pink diamond complimented by another rose-cut one. It glistens in his palm, shining bright under the lights and their gaze.
Kaoru smiles. "It's your Christmas gift for me."
"Yep.” Kojiro grins, no doubt reminded of that Christmas night two years ago. “And it'll match. See?" He grabs one of the stud earrings, tucking a strand of Kaoru’s hair behind an ear before he positions it just right. They both glance at the mirror.
A hum. It does look good, the perfect pop of color and shine against the darker shade of his whole outfit. Kaoru bites a pleased smile, tilting his head upwards because he can. “Perhaps."
“Asshole.” Kojiro chuckles, planting a quick kiss on his cheek, "Want me to put it on for you?"
"Please."
Gentle and steady hands clasp the earrings for him, thick fingers thumbing the shell of his ears and lingering over his earlobe, where the diamonds gleam bright and beautiful. Kojiro lets out an appreciative whistle, leaning back and smirking at the reflection. Kaoru wants to smack him.
"Didn't I tell you? Perfect."
Overwhelmed, Kaoru leans in to pull him into a kiss, hoping everything that he’s feeling is translated into the soft press of his lips against Kojiro’s. When they break apart, he sighs into space between them.
"I'm sorry I made you sleep on the couch the night before.” Kaoru begins, lips downturn in apology. “I just wanted to surprise you. Wanted to be perfect for you."
Kojiro rolls his eyes. “Kaoru, you dumbass.” He leans in for another peck before pulling away and smacking Kaoru softly on his forehead. “You're already perfect for me. I wouldn't ask you to marry me if I didn't think so."
Kaoru glares. "...I asked you to marry me"
Kojiro, the absolute idiot, waves it away. "Eh, same thing. I still wouldn't say yes if I didn't think you're my perfect match."
"Sappy ape." Kaoru mutters, delighted.
"Your sappy ape." Kojiro coos back, tucking his face against the crook of Kaoru’s neck and kissing the bare skin there. His arms move to hold him from behind, intertwining their fingers together as he softly sways them side to side, the soft crooning of a classic song playing from CARLA’s bluetooth speaker all the way from the kitchen.
The darkness outside is gone, blue hues painting the skies and molten-red bearing trees standing guard outside their window. The chill slips through the window planes but Kaoru feels nothing but warmth. Warm from the content settling in his stomach, warm from Kojiro’s tight embrace.
They’re getting married today but Kaoru has a feeling this exact moment will stay with him the longest.
He doesn’t know how long they stay like that, wrapped up in their own bubble and unbothered by the world outside. A knock at the door surprises them and Kanae walks in, eyes softening at the sight of them all tangled up in the early autumn morning.
His mother smiles apologetically. "Sorry to disturb you lovebirds but Kojiro, your parents are already on the way to the shrine to meet us there.”
“Huh.” Kojiro exhales, straightening up and giving Kaoru one last firm squeeze. He glances at the clock on the wall. “It’s already 8, who knew?”
When he turns to look down at Kaoru, there’s an excited gleam in his eyes that Kaoru can’t help but feel it too. Kojiro’s mouth curls into a grin, so familiar it drags Kaoru back to when he’s eight years old and Kojiro is grinning at him from on top of the monkey bar. He extends a hand, much like he did back then. The sun peeks brightly behind him.
“Ready to spend the rest of your life with me, Kaoru?”
Kaoru smirks. He takes the hand, nuzzles it affectionately with a quiet giggle and places a chaste kiss on the back of Kojiro’s hand. “I can’t wait.”