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There were days in which Rin Setsu A did nothing but relax and listen to what the animals were saying.
There was an art to listening to the animals speaking. It wasn’t only a magical art, though that was part of it. The rest of it lay in sitting calmly, quietly, and still, so that you became part of the scenery. Just another piece of the background, like a tree. Then the animals would walk around you, and go about their business. If you moved too much, they suddenly remembered you were human, and they scattered.
Except for this snake, which was rapidly slithering towards Rin while muttering to himself.
“Another human for my garden,” he hissed. Truly, the snake was distressingly large—easily as long as both of Rin’s arms outstretched, with a worrying pattern of orange and black diamonds. Rin took a deep draw from his pipe as the creature approached. For something so large, he moved very quietly.
“Yes, human, stay there, meek as a little mouse on your rock,” the snake said, drawing nearer. “Your life was mine from the moment you entered my forest.”
Rin let him get within striking range before he said, “Now, now, Sir Snake, I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”
The snake stopped. “You can understand me? You can speak to me?”
Rin rose and lightly jumped from the rock to land with a flourish several feet away. “Indeed. Am I correct in presuming that you are the ruler of this forest?”
The snake raised the front half of his body. “You are,” he said with a long hiss. “I am the oldest creature in this forest, and by far the most powerful. Nothing lives here without my permission. This is your last day on this earth, foolish traveler.”
Rin bowed deeply. “I am honored to meet you. I’m afraid that I must correct you on one point, impertinent though it may be. I am not a human. I am a crow.”
The snake reared back, opened his mouth, and snapped it shut. “You look like a human, you smell like a human, and you probably taste like a human. You are obviously not a crow.”
“Am I not? Surely you don’t think a human could speak to you like this.” Rin emptied his pipe and carefully put in fresh incense.
The snake swayed back and forth, considering. “I don’t see how you can be a crow,” he concluded.
“Well, I don’t usually show this to others, but since this is your domain, it would be rude not to,” Rin said, blowing a large smoke ring. He twirled in a circle, and where there had previously stood a man was now a snow-white crow with blood-red eyes, clutching a pipe in its beak.
The crow put the pipe down carefully and said, “You see?”
The snake lowered himself to the ground and slithered closer, close enough that his flickering tongue nearly touched Rin. “You look like a crow, and you smell like a crow.” He circled around Rin, dry scales rasping against Rin’s feathers. “You feel like a crow. Why would you disguise yourself as a loathsome human?”
Rin sighed sadly. “While I am not as powerful as you, it is true that I am no ordinary bird. There are many humans who would lock me away, or even kill me, if they caught me. I find disguise and misdirection to be the best way to remain undetected.”
“Hmph! It’s too bad that you don’t have fangs like mine. No human gets past this grove without feeling my bite.”
“I had wondered why there were so many bones around here. Was that your work?”
The snake made a wider loop. “This grove is mine, and mine alone. Anything I bite dies within minutes. The bodies of the humans feed the mice, and the mice in turn feed me. And so I have lived for many years. Fewer humans come through here, now. Only occasionally can I feed the mice.”
“I would give much, for fangs such as yours.” The crow spun in a circle, and turned back into a human. He bent to pick up the pipe, straightening his robes as he did. “Don’t you ever feel afraid of them? Humans, I mean.”
The snake hissed in a pattern of bursts, and Rin interpreted it as laughter. “I have killed many humans, and none could stand against me. I do not fear them.”
Rin’s eyes flashed, and he sat down, crossing his legs. “I must admire your confidence, Sir Snake. Magnificent, really.”
“This was an interesting conversation, but I find myself getting hungrier, and you will make a nice meal for me. Goodbye, crow.”
“Wait, wait!” Rin held up his hands. “I cannot fight you, but what if I could trade another life for my own? A more valuable life?”
The snake swayed. “What life would you have to offer, crow?”
“There is a human that will arrive soon in this grove. I’ve managed to stay ahead of him for some time, but he is about to catch up to me. You said that humans were the fertilizer for your garden of mice, correct? A single traveler would provide plenty of fertilizer for many generations of mice.”
“Yesss. This human is following you?”
“Mmmm. He has made threats against my personal safety several times. I have managed to stay safe by making myself useful to him, but as soon as my usefulness runs out…who knows what may happen? So, Sir Snake, I will use myself as bait to lure him here, and then he will be yours. A good trade, wouldn’t you say?”
The snake started making a slow circle around Rin. “You might say anything, to avoid being eaten.”
“This human will be here within three hours, most likely. If you can wait that long, you’ll have a much finer prize than me.”
It took three more circles around Rin before the snake spoke. “I will wait,” he said. “You will stay as you are. No flying off. Then, when this human arrives, I will bite it, and you will leave the corpse and go.”
Rin gave an elegant seated bow. “Of course. Thank you for your lenience, Sir Snake.”
There was an art to getting exactly the reaction that he wanted. It meant that the cloth on the ground had to be spread just so, and the tea set arranged just so. He had to be positioned so that he would be the first thing that a traveler saw once they rounded a bend in the thin dirt path that served as a road. He sat just so, arranged as though he had just finished preparing the tea. And it meant that his voice held a careful blend of obviously faked surprise and genuine interest as he called out, “Ah, Sir Shou. What a surprise, to find you in a place like this.”
The traveler who had rounded the bend, Shou Fu Kan, startled backward with a cry of surprise, and then, yes—he half-turned away, shoulders slumped, sighing, rubbing the side of his nose with one hand.
Rin Setsu A took a congratulatory sip of tea for a job well-done. Really, it was Shou’s own fault. Rin wouldn’t keep surprising him like this if it wasn’t so funny.
“Rin Setsu A. Of course you’d be here. Well, I’m leaving. Later.”
“Ah, Sir Shou. Not even staying for a cup of tea?”
“Hell no! Whatever you want, it’s none of my business!” Shou shifted his sword to rest on his shoulder and started taking determined steps down the path, past Rin.
Well, that wouldn’t do. Not that Rin hadn’t expected this. “You can continue alone if you must, but I hear that this forest isn’t safe. The locals say that it’s inhabited by bloodthirsty ghosts, and that no one who goes in ever comes out.”
Shou slowed down. “If I had one meal for every time I’ve heard that, I’d never go hungry again.” He laughed quietly. “Why would you be in a haunted forest, then? Wait, no, don’t answer that. It fits.”
“I really am simply on my way to the next town. It was such a pleasant day, though, that I decided to stop for a while. There’s nothing quite like a cup of green tea surrounded by a calming scenery.”
Shou sighed again, even longer than before. “Seriously, whatever you want, I’m not interested.”
“Have I asked you to do anything? Even if I did, you could easily refuse. Do whatever you wish. I’ll be here, enjoying the day.”
It was a small but satisfying victory when Shou turned around, walked back, and sat down across from Rin, setting his wooden sword on the ground. “What the hell. A cup of tea does sound good right about now. Been walking for ages. But just one, got it? And don’t try anything!”
“Of course,” Rin said, pouring for him. He glanced over at a patch of shadow underneath the trees, where the snake hid in wait. Good. It appeared that the snake could not understand the speech of humans, which made Rin’s explanation earlier plausible enough, given how aggressive Shou acted.
Shou downed the tea almost in a single gulp, and Rin poured again. “What does bring you out here, Sir Shou?”
“A favor for Tan Hi, actually. She said there might be some trouble at a Goinshi shrine up ahead. I said I’d go check it out.” Shou downed the second cup of tea just as fast. “A real pain, but I owe her one, for all the help she’s given me.”
“Once again, your generosity never fails to amaze me,” Rin said. “Did Miss Tan Hi say anything about the nature of the trouble?”
In the shadows, the snake started moving, quietly approaching their picnic.
“No one’s sure. Might be nothing, really, but the last letter she got from them made her worry.”
Rin took up his pipe and blew a smoke ring. “Well, well. If it’s enough to send you out here, it may well be dangerous. Perhaps it’s the kind of thing you would like help with? I would be glad to provide assistance.”
“Thanks, but no thanks!” Shou shook his head vehemently. “Knowing you, you’d make it worse!”
The snake was approaching closer and closer, his tongue darting out to taste the air. He was almost upon them.
And luck was with Rin. The snake was approaching the same side where Shou had set down his sword.
Rin blew another smoke ring. “Harsh words from the proud Sir Shou! Have I not been a good friend as of late?”
“Whatever, man. I’ve got to get going. Uh, thanks for the tea.” Shou set down his cup, rolled his shoulders, and grabbed his sword.
Rin watched Shou’s face carefully as the swordsman realized that instead of his weapon, he’d just grabbed an enormous copper and black snake.
“AAAHHH!” Shou yelled, jumping to his feet and shaking the snake violently. The snake whipped back and forth in his grasp, as helpless as a rattle in the fist of a baby and making a similar noise.
“Ah, Sir Shou, you appear to have made a mistake. Hmmm, shaking it about like that can’t be good for that creature, can it?”
“If it bites me, that won’t be good for me!” Shou looked around wildly, as though perhaps, miraculously, a magical scroll would appear that he could throw the snake into.
“What are you going to do with it?”
“I ought to throw it at you!” Shou reared back, faced the treeline, and threw the snake, hard. The snake twirled end over end, like a baton, and was lost to sight.
“Goodness.” Rin stood fluidly and shaded his eyes with his hands, looking out over the grove. “Where will it land, I wonder?”
Shou leaned his hands on his knees, panting. “You bastard,” he said, “I know you had something to do with that!”
“Hmmm?”
“Don’t play dumb. Hell with this, I’m out! Don’t follow me!” Shou nudged his real sword with his foot, and when it remained a sword, he picked it up and stomped off.
Don’t follow me, he always said. As though there was any chance that Rin would listen. He would follow, but there was something that he had to do first. Rin found a large and comfortable tree. Leaning against it, shielded from all view, he pressed both hands against his mouth to stifle his helpless laughter.
Travelers began to pass safely through the grove again, and no one ever learned why people had been disappearing in the first place. Near a small stream, under the cover of a patch of bushes, the snake quietly lived out the rest of his life, only biting in self-defense.
Forever after, though, he had a particular fondness for attacking and eating crows.