Archive of Our Own

He wakes up to a blue sky.

But its not blue like the blue sky in Marley with the patches of white cloud drifting across. There is no smoke, no pollution.

Its pure in a way the world would never be again.

He sits up, and watches the expanse of water before him, as waves gently caress the shore. The sand below his fingers is smooth and soft, and the air smells salty.

He hasn’t been to the sea. He hasn’t been to the ocean. He never thought he’d go again in this life, not with all his pains and aches and disabilities.

In life…he doesn’t feel any pain here.

Is he dead?

Is this an afterlife?

He stands, expecting the searing ache in his leg, but it doesn’t come.

He flexes his fingers, the ones that have reappeared on his right hand, and is surprised at the ease of it all, the lack of stress or tension that had resided in his body all through the war. Its what sells this for him.

’Its all over, huh? Well, it was about damn time.’

There’s no one else here.

He’s wearing his old uniform. The cloak, emblazoned with the wings of freedom, is wrapped securely around his shoulders. He reaches up to grasp it, to hold something familiar in this place full of uncertainty.

What does he do now? There’s no one else here.

He feels stupid, standing around here like some child who’s lost their parent.

Parent…his mom must be here!

There’s no way she wouldn’t be. She deserved to be here more than anyone. She had to be here.

It was a place to start anyway. He’d go look for her and try to figure this place out at the same time.

The afterlife is huge as hell.

Everyone who ever died probably came here, though it’s unclear if there is a separate heaven and hell, or just one big ass post-life world.

Either way, he’s just started walking across the beach shore, and he already feels like he’s been walking a long time. It strikes him then that he has all the time in the world. This is what its going to be like from now on.

No more waiting, no more counting the time he had left, no more cherishing each moment. This is it. He doesn’t need to watch out, wondering whether every moment is his last, because he has all the time in the world here.

He isn’t sure how to feel about that.

He’s so caught up in his thoughts, he almost misses the tuft of blond hair that catches the corner of his eye. He’d recognize that smirk anywhere.

Nanaba. The first person he’s seen here.

He makes to call out to her, but the words don’t make it out of his throat. He just stands there breathless. Its been so long, and he’s…he’s not ready, even though he’s been waiting so long for this. Years after the war.

Years later, he’s here, and he can’t take the step forward. Its so simple and he can’t do it.

And its not just her. She’s with Mike and Gelgar and the rest of their squad. He briefly catches a glimpse of Nifa, all decked up as usual. Hange’s squad is here too. They’re all here. And they’re all laughing and carrying baskets and blankets. They look at peace here. It feels wrong to invade on that for some reason. He wonders if its guilt. Guilt that he’d been able to live so long while they had to die that way.

He feels sick. He wants to turn away. He should turn away. But he just keeps watching them. They look happy.

He wonders how they’ve been.

Away from him, Mike stops. He sniffs the air, and his eyes go comically wide. It would have been funny if Levi hadn’t known what he’s smelling.

He should hide. But there’s no where to hide. He just stands there, breath catching in his lungs as Mike turns slowly to face him. Their eyes meet and Mike stiffens.

He feels ridiculously self-conscious.

”Levi!”

The yell rings in his ears, and his eyes snap shut as his hands fly to his ears, senses assaulted by the sudden stimulus. Once he opens them, he sees all of them racing towards him as fast as he’s ever seen them.

Nanaba reaches him first. She’d always been fast. No, she is fast. Because he’s dead. And she is dead, and now they’re all here.

The reality of this hits him, and it shakes him up hard, just as Nanaba throws her arms around his shoulders and sweeps him in for a hug. She’d hugged him once before, and it feels just like that time. This is real. He’s really here. He’s really here.

”Levi! Levi, you’re here!”

He’s surrounded by people, his comrades. He’s wanted this for so long, and it feels right, it feels nice. But…

”When did you get here?”

”No idea. I’ve been walking for a while.”

Mike steps up to him and takes a long sniff. Out of pure muscle memory, Levi jerks to the side just in time to see Mike’s smirk. Which then turns into a wide smile. He places his hands on Levi’s shoulder.

”Its good to see you”, he says, and Levi agrees with that, at least.

He’s missed them so much.

”Me too.”

Nanaba and Mike have a house on the beach. Apparently, they live together now. He isn’t surprised. Nanaba and Mike have always been into each other. They’d kept their feelings private to focus on their battle, but now its all behind them.

”We didn’t want to have some fancy ceremony, so we just slapped a ring on each other’s hand and got drunk instead of a proper wedding. And one thing led to another, so now we put up with the whole gang at our house ever Saturday. I guess its lucky I forced everyone to get out of the house today, or we wouldn’t have spotted you.”

Levi just hums in acknowledgement. Nanaba just laughs. She’d never been one to talk too much, and had always understood his love for silence. It is really…great to see her again. To see them all again.

He isn’t sure what its like here yet.

It looks like everyone has a house, and everyone dead just…comes here.

And although he’s so happy to see his friends again, something feels…off.

He doesn’t know what it is, and he doesn’t like not knowing what it is. He decides to chalk it up to his new surroundings. He just died and found that everyone he’s ever lost is here, its only natural he would need time to adjust.

He pushes away the nagging feeling that tells him that’s not what it is, and focuses on Nanaba, who is talking again. He tries to soak in her voice as much as he can. He’ll need some time to get used to the fact that he’s never going to lose them all again.

All he’s ever done is lose anyone he cares for, after all.

”We’ll need to get you some clothes. You can’t go around dressed in your Survey Corps uniform here.”

”Right…”

”What, no insults? You haven’t sworn once since you got here. Have you changed that much in such a short time?”

”I haven’t, carrot head. Its just…all this is so…”

Nanaba’s eyes soften from their teasing glint. “New? Unbelievable?”

”Yeah, I guess.”

”Don’t worry, it was like that for all of us. It was strange, but we found each other. Mike and I could finally get together here, its so peaceful. It was strange to live in a world without titans, but I wouldn’t change anything we’ve found here.”

”Yeah. Sounds good.”

The moment they reach Mike and Nanaba’s house, he’s caught in a group hug before Mike helps shoo them all back into the house. They have food here and water, but none of them really need it. They can eat and drink to their heart’s content. Surprisingly enough, they get drunk, but he’s not sure its ever going to happen to him.

It almost sounds too good to be true.

Since he has no urgent needs, Nanaba decides that they might as well go to town and buy him clothes. Levi agrees, though he’s going to keep the uniform. Nanaba smiles and says she expected nothing else from him.

Town is…very big.

Big could be an understatement, it’s fucking gigantic. It should probably be called a country. When he points this out, Nanaba bursts into laughter like she usually does whenever he says anything, even though he’s being serious. Mike is a fucking godsend and tries to explain. “We didn’t really have countries back when we fought, so we just call it a town. No one named it, and no one bothered to try either. It just is.”

”So, what the hell even is this place?”

Nanaba shrugs. “Dunno. Never bothered to find out. But I never want to leave.”

Mike wraps a hand around her waist and presses a kiss on her head, and Nanaba responds by pulling him down for a proper one on her mouth. It makes him happy to see them that way, so happy and peaceful. But it sends a sharp pang through his chest and he turns his head away. He tells himself its so as to not disrupt the intimacy of that moment, even though Nanaba and Mike have never been shy about that kind of thing.

‘Town’ is full of people. He finds out that everyone else lives here. A few tried to put up on the beach, but they were the only ones to do it in the end. A lot of other people who aren’t their friends also live on the beach though. And there are a lot of people in town.

”Oh, they’re the others. The people who were killed in these past few years, or just anyone who’s died really. Every Eldian, at least. We haven’t seen a single Marleyan. Maybe we just don’t know or they aren’t here.”

”How do you know all this shit anyway?”

Mike responds. “Hange, The moment we got here she started to explore everything. Its just like her.” Nanaba continues with a grin. “She has her theories about it, though I haven’t asked her. I didn’t want to find out that this was just some delusion or a place we stay before we just…vanish. Luckily, she assured me that this is permanent, though I’m not sure how she knew that.”

Shit. Hange. She’d slipped his mind. How could he not have remembered her? He’d thought about her almost all the time!

His distress must have been visible, because Nanaba smiles. “It takes a while to recollect everything and everyone. We’ll take you to her soon, she isn’t home yet. Gone off to explore again.”

He has to suppress a smile at that. Its so like Hange to keep moving onto new projects and keep being so damn inquisitive even after death. He’d missed her more than he could bear sometimes.

After enduring long hours of shopping(which should have ended the moment he picked out a suit at the first shop they went to), Mike decides to take pity on him and helpfully points out to Nanaba that maybe Levi’s had enough. All she does is smile again and tell him that they’ll visit one last shop before they leave. Levi can’t do anything but groan about the injustice of it all inside his head as she drags him over to some weird ass place which pops out of nowhere.

Nanaba disappears immediately with her hands full of bags into the depths of the place while Levi and Mike just stand awkwardly in the entrance.

”I never did thank you for everything, Levi.” He jumps, startled out of his reverie. “Mike is looking at him with an odd smile on his face. “What?”

”You avenged me. You avenged everyone who died at his hand. You killed the Beast Titan. I never thanked you for that. Thank you.”

Levi frowns. “Yeah. I did. I did it.”

Yes, he killed that hairball. He avenged his comrades. He only did it for them.

His comrades, who hadn’t deserved to die that way. Not while he lived for so long.

”Have you been happy here?”

Mike gives him a strange look. “Of course. I share Nana’s sentiment. I never want to leave, and we won’t leave.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that. He settles for elbowing Mike in the ribs. “Don’t call her those names in front of me. Keep your sappiness to yourself.”

Mike laughs for the first time since he’s gotten here, and the sound eases his heart. He hasn’t heard that sound for a very long time. Too long.

”What’s taking her so long? Is it always like-“

”Captain!”

’That voice…’

Levi whirls around. Petra Ral stands in front of him, boxes full of cloth dropped unceremoniously onto the floor, its contents scattered all over the room. Her hands come up to cup her mouth and tears fall from her eyes.

”Petra! And…”

The words die painfully in his throat as the rest of his squad runs out of the depths of the shop where Nanaba had disappeared into. They look at him in shock, in surprise, in happiness. He can see it in their eyes. He won’t deny that the same look is probably on his face.

But he recovers faster. “Oi, what are you all staring at? There’s a huge mess on the floor.” Its crass and rude like he’s always been, but he knows his squad can notice the hint of affection that crept into those words.

Petra doesn’t cry. The tears roll down her face, but that’s it. Its Eld who bursts into tears, and the other two rush at him for a hug. Petra joins them halfway and Levi allows it. He would never have done it before, but he’s too happy to deny this. He’s missed this. He’s missed them. So much.

Eld sniffles, and joins the hug. Levi has never enjoyed having his breath squeezed out of him so much in his entire life. As much as Hange liked to hug him, she wasn’t as strong as four people.

Nanaba stands to the side, a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

At some point, Gunther notices that perhaps he would like to breathe even though he is at no risk of dying, and they let him go. He notices Oluo still wearing a cravat like he did, and instead of annoyance, it just fills him with warmth.

”We were waiting for you for so long, Captain. I’m so glad you’re finally here.” Petra says, and Levi doesn’t cry, but it’s a close thing.

There’s an old ache in his chest, but for once, its not pain that’s causing it.

Petra is very well acquainted with this part of town. He’s not surprised. She’d always enjoyed looking for clothes and stuff, and she’d been very close to Nifa, who apparently owns the store they were just at. She takes them to a tea shop, chattering about something or the other all the while. The rest of his squad keep interrupting. Even Gunther, who usually stays silent keeps chipping in with things to say.

He loves it.

”And that’s how Oluo and Petra got together and stopped being idiotic.” Petra reaches over to whack Eld on his head, and he dodges her hand. “Oluo never did stop dressing like you though. He said that he’d do it as a tribute of sorts to you. And now you’re here, Captain.”

”Although Levi, for all the years you’ve lived, you still look like you’re thirty.” Levi does look thirty. He’s aged backwards, probably. Its so weird, and he’s hoping to have Hange answer his questions.

”Did you want me to come up here looking like a goddamn prune?” That gets him a clap on the shoulder from Mike and another onslaught of giggles from the rest of them.

”Hey, we’re here!”

They step inside, and Levi is immediately overwhelmed by the smell of tea. Specifically, Black Tea, his favourite. He inhales the scent. His senses had dulled considerably in his old age, and he’s glad for the opportunity to take in the scent at its full capacity.

A woman sits at the table farthest from them, and she’s sewing something with a needle. She looks up when they all enter. He’s struck by how much she resembles Mikasa for a moment. Maybe she’s related to her. And a man who must be her husband approaches her from the back room to sit next to her.

”Mr. Ackerman! We’d like you to meet someone!” Ah, so he is Mikasa’s father. Must be, since he’s never met this man before.

”This is Levi. Levi Ackerman, the short grump I’ve told you about?” Nanaba pushes him forward, ignoring his glare at being manhandled. The man sticks out his hand for a handshake. “Levi, huh? We’ve heard a lot about you from your friends.”

He reaches out to take the offered hand and shakes it. “If they told you any stupid shit about me, its probably a lie.”

Mikasa’s dad laughs. “Looks like they were right about your sense of humour! You really are just like they said.”

He wasn’t joking, but whatever. “Anyway, you’re just in time. Kuchel just put on another pot of Black Tea.”

Kuchel. Mom.

She’s here. His mom is here.

He pushes past the man in front of him, ignoring their questioning glances, and strides quickly to the back of the shop. Mom. His mom is here. It has to be her.’

He throws the door open, unmindful of the noise. And she’s right there, the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, almost glowing in the light. His mother. Who he hasn’t seen since he was a child.

”Hello, dears. I didn’t expect to see you again so-“

”Mom.”

He watches as her eyes widen, as she turns around almost too slowly, as if she can’t believe what she’s just heard. He can’t either. For a moment, he wonders whether this is just some dream, if his mother isn’t really in front of him.

There’s a loud crash, and tea covers the floor below her. Yet, all he can see is her face, her beautiful face, the kind eyes, the curve of her mouth, her pale skin. The face he thought he’d never see again. His mom.

He stands there, just soaking in her appearance. He’d almost forgotten what she looked like, what she sounded like. But it all comes back to him now. Her face as bright as the moon in the darkness of their little hovel, her voice like a musical note. This is his mom. And yet, he can’t believe it.

And suddenly her arms are around him, and he’s not tall enough to tower above her, he’s shorter than her, he fits into her arms perfectly, just like he did when he was a child, and this can’t be fake, because it feels so real, and his mom is here.

He’s missed her so much.

”Levi. My baby. You’re here.”

Neither of them cry. As much as the afterlife is free and happy, they’ve lived this way all their lives. Strong faced and unflinching. But a few tears fall from her eyes, and his eyes sting furiously.

”Mom.” The word comes out easily, if not choked up, even though he hasn’t said it in years.

”Mom.”

They stay there for a long time, finding comfort in each other’s embrace. Although they have to let go at one point, and they part unhappily. Though it occurs to him yet again that he’ll never be parted from his mother ever again, he’ll never lose her to disease or any ailment.

She smiles at him and kisses the top of his head once more before starting to make the tea she’d dropped again. Wordlessly, he procures a rag and starts to clean up the spilt tea. Its something they’d done back in the world of the living. He’d clean their home as much as he could while she made him food from whatever they had, and she’d help him finish up before they ate. They’ll be able to do this everyday now, without worrying about going hungry. She won’t have to sneak her food onto his plate or eat in dirty dishes. Everything’s here.

If anyone deserves all the comforts in the world, its mom. Although if he knows her, she’d be content with a clean home and good food, even if she deserves so much more. Kuchel Ackerman has always been a proud and strong woman who only wants what she needs.

He wonders if the rich pigs are here. There isn’t any sort of government or police as far as he can see. But that’s none of his business if they are, as long as they don’t bother anyone else.

”You haven’t changed a bit, sweetheart.” She croons, and swats the top of his head lightly. “I see you kept the haircut I showed you how to do.” “Mom, you were watching me all the time.” “I know, Levi, but a mother is allowed to appreciate the fact that her son maintained his hair. Boys your age would have shaved it all off or let it grow out!”

”What sort of shit brained idiot would do that?” She laughs, and it sounds like a million tiny bells are ringing in unison. “I see you’ve inherited Kenny’s crass manner. I like that in a man.”

He can’t tell, but from the way his mom looks at him he knows his face is red. “Mom, don’t say that sort of shit.”

But the thought sobers up his good mood. His mother had chosen to be a prostitute, not because she liked having sex, but because of the value she placed on life. She’d been a proud person, refusing to stoop to the level of murderers to keep herself alive, even if it meant she’s suffer. And she’d refused to give up on him even though it would hurt her business.

And he…he’d killed everyone he’d seen. After everything she’d told him, everything she’d tried to teach him, he’d neglected to follow the one piece of advice she’d held closest to her heart. It makes him sad that he’d never honoured her in his life, despite everything she’d ever done for him.

She kneels in front of him, and there’s something in her eyes. “Levi, my darling, I’m so proud of you. You’ve done so well.”

Its so sudden, so on the point that he falters. “I- what?”

”I could never be angry with you. You survived. You lived. I can’t fault you for that, no matter how I may have done things. I wasn’t there to guide you, but you lived. And if you had to kill to live, its not your fault.”

”But even after everything the world took from you, you stayed strong and never swayed. You fought for your friends, and you stayed so selfless despite everything. I couldn’t ask for more. You fought a war and came out of it alive and strong. You helped so many people. I’m so proud of you, baby. I love you.”

”Mom…” And now there are tears in his eyes. Because his mom isn’t angry with him. She still loves him despite everything. And he should have known that, shouldn’t he. She is the most amazing person in the world and beyond.

”I- I love you too.”

She presses a kiss to his head, and he leans into her once more, feeling calm and content for the first time since he’s set foot in this whole new world.

It occurs to him then, that he’ll be meeting a lot more people from life. He doesn’t remember a lot of them until he does.

They all sit down and try to recall everyone Levi knew in life who should be here. Mikasa’s parents have left the shop with a promise to catch up sometime, which makes him feel very strange.

”We’re going to see Hange soon, and you’ve already seen the rest of us…well, that leaves the new recruits, right? And anyone you might have known from your past. What about those two who came with you to the Survey Corps?”

Isabel and Furlan. His friends. Of course.

His mother smiles at him. “They come around here at about this time.” She stands and walks over to the door, peering outside. “Right on time!”

He’s suddenly assaulted by an onslaught of various emotions. The last time he’d seen them was on that disastrous mission, where his foolishness had cost them their lives. A nervous feeling bubbled in the pit of his stomach.

’Would they hate me, after everything they’ve seen me do…’

Joining the Survey Corps after their deaths, not completing their mission… he’d desecrated honour amongst thieves for sure, not that it was really a thing. But it had been for the three of them, and he’d gone and devoted himself to the Survey Corps after it had taken their lives.

Maybe they’d be mad at him. Furlan, for all his hopefulness had always had the capability to be more than a little pessimistic and often had very little patience for him, something which didn’t bother him as much as it should have. But it really bothers him now.

He crosses his arms. Levi has never been one for many words, but he doesn’t shy away from confrontation either. He’ll take whatever they have to say to him.

It’ll be enough just to see their faces again. To see them smile just once more, like they did before they were taken away.

The door swings open, and at least he isn’t the one caught in shock now.

Furlan stares at him like he’s grown another head. Isabel hasn’t noticed him yet, and is in the process of demanding sweets from his mother.

”Oi, idiots shouldn’t be eating so many sweets, Isabel.” He watches her stiffen and turn to face him, jaw dropping. To her credit, she gets over the shock quicker than he’d ever expected and rushes towards him for yet another hug. “Big brotheeeeeeeeer!”

He catches her in his arms, and grossly overestimates her weight and speed, and the difference in his strength without his Ackerman powers. She barrels into him and they crash into the floor, Isabel wrapping herself around his body like some sort of goddamn monkey.

”Big brother! Me and Furlan have been waiting for you for soooooo long!” There are tears in Isabel’s eyes. Levi has never liked seeing Isabel cry, and he hasn’t stopped disliking it now either.

”Its ‘Furlan and I’, dummy,” Furlan walks up to them with his dashing smile, and offers him a hand. “Its been a while, Levi.”

He snorts. “Yeah, it has.” He’s really missed them. More than he even knew.

Isabel is still clinging to him and he struggles to get up. Instead, Furlan falls on top of them and Levi is buried under both of their weights. Being crushed has never felt better.

It tells him they aren’t mad, they don’t care, they’re proud and happy. They still love him after everything. It calms him more than he already is, it makes him so glad. That his choices haven’t come between them, even though they weren’t there to take them alongside him. He’s really happy about that.

So he allows it, falling limp onto the floor and allowing his friends to slump on top of him as everyone else in the vicinity watches with varying degrees of bemusement.

Back in the underground, they’d never been one to show any feelings outwardly for their own safety. Furlan would hide his emotions under a veil of cockiness and Levi would put up his mask of cold indifference. Isabel would hide her more vulnerable emotions under her false cheer and bluster, more as a means of survival than anything.

For all their banter, they’d never really talked about their emotions. It wasn’t really a good thing to do, and it was more awkward than helpful. None of them were really the type to have deep and meaningful conversations about feelings. But that didn’t mean they didn’t care.

It was about the small things. A ruffling of Isabel’s hair, a clasp of the shoulder, a pat on the back. Meaningless gestures that conveyed more than could be seen at first glance, an intimate expression of vulnerability in a place where emotions could lead to death. They never spoke, but it was understood by all three of them what they were.

They were the closest friends. A family. They would have each other’s backs no matter what.

And now, as Isabel buries her head into his shoulder and Furlan manages to pat his arm lightly from above them, he thinks that nothing about that has changed at all.

After their reunion, they all sit around the largest table in his mom’s tea shop and drink her tea. Isabel has finally managed to procure her long-awaited sweets from his mom. Levi wonders if everyone he knows just decided to meet up to give him a damn shock once he got here. Mike and Nanaba have been giving him smug, knowing looks all day, and Levi doesn’t like not knowing things.

”…and then Hange sold the cookies I worked so hard to make for brownie-points! Big bro, you gotta help me take my revenge!” Isabel huffs, chomping down on a cookie angrily, and Levi is too engrossed in soaking up the sound of her voice and watching her pigtails bounce around animatedly that he doesn’t even notice all the crumbs she’s spilling onto the clean table.

His mother does, however, and Isabel is promptly assigned clean up duty while Furlan throws more cookie crumbs onto the floor. Isabel sticks her tongue out at him, eliciting a laugh from everyone present. Absently, Levi ducks down to help her, and is thrown onto the floor once more.

”Isabel, get off me.” He pushes her head off his chest, and she pouts moodily. Furlan just laughs harder and rubs his fist over her hair, messing it up nice and proper. “Aw man!” Isabel whines, then launches a furious attack on Furlan with her fists. And he responds in kind by launching a ‘tickle attack’ on her, which is something Levi has never gotten the displeasure of experiencing. Hange had been devastated to discover that Levi was, in fact, not ticklish.

He can’t wait to see her again.

”Levi-bro, help me!” Isabel shrieks the words, and Levi pulls Furlan off her just to stop the noise. Isabel runs behind him and sticks her tongue out at Furlan.

He’s really missed this so much. Just them horsing around and having fun. Doing crazy shit like this without having worry about the next person who would try to take off their heads. He’d missed Isabel’s rambunctious nature and Furlan’s dry humour. He’s glad to have it back.

He’s glad to have them back.

Gunther pulls out a watch from his pocket. “Say, I think Hange would probably be back by now, wouldn’t she?” Petra and Mike lean over to look at the watch, and Levi raises himself off the floor again. His mom comes over with a broom and a dustpan, and Levi takes it from her hands.

”Huh, you’re right.” Nanaba starts to inhale the rest of her tea. “I think we should be going now if we want to catch Hange. You don’t mind, Kuchel?”

His mom smiles at him sweetly. “No, of course not. Go see your friend, Levi. You deserve to. Nanaba, dear, I hope you’ll persuade Hange to come around more often. The girl works herself too hard.”

”I suspect she likes working herself that hard. Hange really loves science and mystery.” Nanaba stands. “Its getting dark and we need to go into the woods. We’d better hurry.”

”We can stay and help you, Mrs. Ackerman.” Petra chimes in, and winks at the rest of them. She fails to hide this from Levi though, and he frowns. ’The hell are they up to?’

”That’s very nice of you, dear.” Kuchel steps up to hug him again, and he sinks into his mom’s embrace. He’ll never get tired of being wrapped in her arms. “I know how long you’ve waited to see her again, Levi. I’m so happy you’re here.”

He can’t stop the smile that comes to his lips. “Yeah, me too.”

“So, there’s a morning and night here too.” “Don’t question everything, Levi. It just is.”

Nanaba holds up a lantern, and Levi levels his look of contemptuous disgust at the flies that buzz around it, reaching for the light. Too bad it doesn’t work on insects, the disgusting creatures.

’Four-eyes probably lives with these as her roommates’. Its not a pleasant thought. He’d hoped that the afterlife wouldn’t have any other forms of life, especially not the ones that cause almost every disease Levi can ever imagine, but it seems that even the afterlife is not so perfect after all. A pity, really.

But at this point, he’s willing to endure Hange’s smell if it means seeing her again. He’ll endure anything if it means seeing her again.

“I’d rather the two of us just live here. Right? Levi?”

Looks like four-eyes had gotten her wish. She’d set up in the forest. Living alone, free to pursue her interests and perform her experiments without abandon. Hange would be happy. He hopes she’s happy. She deserves it.

’They all do’, he thinks, looking at Mike slipping his hand into Nanaba’s, squeezing her fingers. She looks up at him and smiles. It sends a pang through his chest. ’They deserve it. Do I?’

”We’re here.” Its not spoken in a loud, cheerful tone. Its solemn, almost melancholic. Full of the weight they’d never been able to drop in their life. They still haven’t. There’s still a lot that needs to be said between Hange and himself.

For all he’d wanted this, he dreads it more than ever.

Hange’s built herself a shoddy cottage that looks like its one good kick away from ruin. It suits her taste, he supposes. It looks like its been patched up multiple times. A result of her experiments, no doubt.

”We’ll wait out here. Good luck.”

He steps inside, with the dread pooling in his stomach again. It looks shitty. The piss-poor paint-job is peeling off, and there are cowebs everywhere. He doesn’t know if its because Four-eyes isn’t around most of the time of if she just hasn’t noticed them. Knowing her, both are plausible.

There’s a crash and a yell from somewhere inside, and Levi’s finely honed senses carry him towards its source.

And she’s right in front of him, her hair sticking out haphazardly as she pushes various shit off a table and empties the contents of her hands onto it. She reaches up to adjust her goggles, her eye-patch missing.

Hange is here. He’s finally looking at her again.

This is…he’s really here. After everything.

The floor creaks beneath his feet, and he only has a moment to bemoan the poor quality before Hange is turning around opening her mouth to say something, and shit, he isn’t ready for this.

Hange’s eyes blow as wide as saucers, and her hands drop to her sides.

For a long moment, they simply stare at each other, unable to believe their eyes.

He breaks the silence. “Hey, Four-eyes.”

Hange faints.

Once he’s been made aware of the fact that people can fucking pass out in the fucking afterlife(why the hell?), he drags her to her shitty couch and settles for bringing her water when faced with the absence of tea in her stores.

Hange wakes up very fast, and looks around wildly. Her eyes land on him once more.

Unable to come up with anything witty to say after the shitfest that went down, Levi hands her the water, and watches as she throws it down her throat.

She drops the glass once she’s done, and how lucky for her that its not made out of glass.

”Levi.” The nervousness transcends his brain and causes him real fucking pain.

”Hange.”

”You’re here.”

Hange is solemn, her eyes staring at him with a calculating gaze, as though she’s wondering if all this is really true.

”Yeah.”

They just sit there in silence. Levi takes her in. She’s dirty, completely messy, her hair sticking out, clothes all rumpled. But she looks…good. Happy.

Happy in a way none of them have ever been down there.

And isn’t that his fault? For not taking down the Beast Titan the first time? Leaving him to destroy everyone? Making her the Commander?

They’d never talked about that. He wonders if a part of her hates him for that. If she’d been happier without him around here. And he’s here now.

”Levi.”

”I’m sorry.”

Hange blinks. “What? Why are you sorry?”

”I’m sorry for everything you had to face as Commander. It must have been hard for you, and that was my fault.”

Hange sighs, the weary look of life appearing on her face. She reaches for her glasses, and pulls them over her forehead, fixing her naked stare on his form. Its too intense, and he looks away. He feels really pathetic right now. All the titans he’s faced, and he can’t look his friend in the eye.

”And you think I hold that against you?”

”You would have every right to.”

”Yeah. You’re right. I would.”

”Being Commander was so awful. Eren went full psycho and suddenly, titans weren’t our enemies anymore. I- I was never the type for leadership, and I wasn’t who they needed at that time. I was new and stressed and I was so, so tired of it all, and I really wanted to give up, I really did. Because I couldn’t control anything, and everything was crumbling around me faster than I could react to anything. I really did wish that I had never been chosen to be the Commander.”

”But I could never hold that against you, Levi.”

He jerks in shock, eyes meeting hers properly for the first time. And there’s nothing there. There’s no contempt, no hatred, no disgust. Nothing he really deserved. Nothing but happiness and care.

”We all made our choices. Choices that affected everyone we knew, but in the end it was our choice. And you chose something. Something that caused that for me,” Hange frowns, brows furrowing, “but…it was your choice. And no matter what, I can’t hate you or condemn you for that, as much as I wouldn’t have made it.”

”And…you didn’t leave me alone. You were always there for me. You made me eat, you helped me with my work, you held me when I cried and you helped me keep moving forward. You were there every step of the way, helping me carry out my duty as a Commander and as a soldier. Without you, I- maybe I would have given up, tried to run away and live in the forest, but… I gave my life and ended up here. I could never hate you for that.”

”In fact, I’m grateful to you. You never left me alone, and…it wasn’t so bad until the end, with you around to help. Thank you, Levi.”

”Hange…”

”In fact, I’m the one who should be sorry. You were always there for me, but I never tried to ask after you, did I? I was so wrapped up in being a Commander that I didn’t pay attention to you as much as I should have. You were grieving too, and I didn’t help you the way you were there for me.”

”And…I wanted to fulfil my duty. I wanted to go out with a bang. But, I left you all alone. You were always there and I left you alone and hurt. I should be the one apologising to you.”

Hange sits there, eyes downcast, mood sobered.

”Tch. Are you done with your pity party now?”

Hange’s head jerks upwards. “What?”

”You didn’t leave me, Four-eyes. You were the Commander. You had a job to do. It wasn’t your duty to babysit me. I helped because I could, and because you needed it. You don’t owe me help or gratitude for anything. You were doing your duty.”

”And even in the end, you were still doing your duty. I couldn’t hate you for that. You don’t owe it to me to stay. I’m used to people leaving me all the time. Besides…I’ve found them again now…”

Hange sniffles. “Its just-“ “Its nothing, Hange. I’m here now, right? Just…keep moving forward and all that shit.” He waves his hands in the air, trying to make some sort of a point.

”Leave what was in life behind.” “Yeah, that.”

Hange smiles. “Well, I guess that settles it then. Though I think we both needed to talk that out. Best not to dwell on it, huh? You’ve always been good at moving on and fighting…”

Hange sniffs again. Levi hands her the towel that’s conveniently draped over the arm of a chair, and she blows her nose noisily. The air feels much lighter now.

”I just want you to remember…that you started the pity party first.”

Levi scowls in her direction, just as Hange bursts into raucous laughter. “Shut up, Four-eyes.” The sound of her laughter fills him with such happiness. He’s never felt so happy in his life. It sounds easy, carefree. Hange sounds happier than she’s ever been.

Hange calms down from her fit of laughter, and steps over to him. He knows its coming before she wraps her arms around him in a hug. He can’t bring himself to care about all the dirt that’s on her body before he wraps his arms around her.

”I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been waiting for such a long time, and now you’re here. Is this a dream, Levi?”

He buries his head into her shoulder. “No, I don’t think it is.”

Finally, after all this time. After all the dreams, all the nightmares, all the memories which were his only way of keeping her with him.

She’s here. And she’s never going to leave him ever again.

Hange decides that she is going to come to town to celebrate his return, to which Levi replies by shoving her back into her house and telling her to clean herself up. He’s not going to be seen travelling with some muddy hermit. Hange could make an effort.

He reunites with Moblit while Hange takes her time to clean herself up. Moblit hugs him and thanks him for looking out for Hange when he’d been gone. Levi tells him honestly that he hadn’t minded doing it.

Nanaba faithfully delivers his mother’s invitation to Hange, who gleefully suggests taking it up now. Levi has no objections towards seeing his mother again, and so they head back. Moblit and Hange take their horses, and when Levi glares at Nanaba questioning why she didn’t bring them on horses, she starts whistling an aggravating tune and turns her head to the sky. Fucking smartass.

In the end, Levi hitches a ride with Hange, and Nanaba jumps onto Moblit’s horse, Leaving Mike to trudge after them grumpily. Hange starts chattering the moment he climbs on, and he doesn’t wish he’d rode with Moblit like he usually would have.

He’s really missed hearing her chatter. He’s missed many things so much.

And he has things he needs to ask her anyway.

”Oh, this? This is the afterlife, for lack of a better term. Its where all souls come after death, depending on the circumstances of their life. All fulfilled souls can ascend to this place, whereas souls who haven’t really found peace with themselves and the world will be sent back to live out another life until they are fulfilled enough to come here. Its really simple.”

”Everything here is a reflection of the mortal plane, the real world. Everything good about the real world is here as a reward of sorts for those who’ve lived through their lives to the fullest, suffering yet persevering.”

”You mean that this place is perfect? Nothing’s perfect, Four-eyes.”

”This place is. Its filled with only the good things from our world. Despite the sheer number of people here, the world has hardly been filled. It expands to accommodate everyone, whenever they come here. And it never ends. It just keeps going on and on and on. It isn’t the real world, Levi. We’re dead.”

”Hmm. So is there really no government here? Or any police, or even money?”

”Nope! You see, the people who come here are the best of the best, the type of people who would never commit any sort of crime that could possibly hurt anyone else. We don’t need a police for that. And if you did commit a crime that affects the peace, you’ll be sent back down to another life, and I don’t think anyone who comes here will really want to risk leaving.”

”And we never run out of anything ever! Stuff just keeps appearing. Like, we’d never run out of food. I once organised a marathon eating challenge to test out the limits of the replenishable ability of this place, and guess what? We never ran out of food! Amazing, right?”

Yeah, it is pretty amazing. “Sounds too good to be true.”

Hange turns around on her horse. “I know, right? And we don’t even gain or lose weight, we don’t grow taller, we don’t get diseased, we don’t even need to sleep!” “Does that mean people don’t need to shit here?” “No, we don’t. Its so weird.” “Tch. Alright then.” “I guess your toilet humour falls short here, huh?”

Levi stares up into the sky. Its very pretty, with all the stars glowing brightly. Its not even real, it’s a mockery of the real sky, but it doesn’t feel that way at all.

”This is just so…” “Feels too good to be true, huh.” “Yeah.”

”I know it does. But it is true. Its hard to believe after everything we’ve been through in that cruel world, but that’s precisely why we’re here in the first place. Because we never gave up and kept fighting.”

”Makes you wonder why we didn’t end it all way earlier and just come up here.”

Hange adjusts her glasses. “Well first of all, no one knows this place exists. Wouldn’t it be a huge gamble to take your life on a whim, just to find some place that may not even exist? I know even I wouldn’t do that. And besides, even if you did take your life, you wouldn’t end up here, you’d just go back down there as someone else. And…”

”Its all the struggles that we went through down there, everything we faced but never bowed to, that makes this all the more sweeter. We’ve fought so hard our lives and we can finally rest here. We deserve this. And knowing that makes the peace we feel now so much better. Its so amazing to feel this way after the horror of our lives.”

’Yeah, you all really do deserve this.’

Hange is looking at him strangely, with that assessing look she wears sometimes that has always managed to disturb him. “What are you staring at, Four-eyes?”

”Nothing. Just really glad to see you.”

A small smile graces his lips, hidden enough that Hange can’t see it. ”Yeah, me too.”

They abort their half-hearted plans to go see his mom in the middle of the night when people would be asleep, and go to Mike and Nanaba’s house again. She shows him to a room usually occupied by Hange, and decides that they’ll be looking for a house for him soon enough. Levi is just glad he doesn’t have to share a room with Hange for longer than necessary.

Apparently, people sleep here because sleeping is nice and feels nice, even though they don’t feel any form of fatigue. Levi can’t relate. He’s never been able to sleep for more than two hours a day even when he was alive, even though he’d been exhausted and praying for the sweet release of a dreamless sleep. He sure as hell isn’t going to be able to sleep here.

Its not like any of them are sleeping tonight either. Levi spends his time looking around at all the various trinkets and baubles that Nanaba has used to decorate the house, while Hange shamelessly curls up against him, her head on his lap, petting his hand absentmindedly.

Mike returns carrying a tray filled with mugs of hot-chocolate, a rare luxury on the island. Its not tea, but it tastes better than most of the tea he’s drunk in his life.

None of them speak. They just sit there, thinking back to the times before. And he feels a sharp sting of…something. Its not pain, its not anything related to any loss he’s felt, not like when he’d just lost someone. It just feels like an old ache deep inside his heart that he’s just gotten used to living with, like a part of him isn’t really here.

And he can’t place it. Its just there, the faintest memory of some part of him, something that he lost and something he wants to find once more. And now he’s here, where everything he’s lost can be found, but he hasn’t found that yet. So he clings to the ache, which feels almost too familiar in some way, and thinks ’I’ll find you somehow. Whatever you are. I’ll find you.’

He hopes he will.

Hange sets off with him the next morning to look for proper accommodation. According to her, there has to be a place that is suited for him somewhere here. When Levi asks her how she knows all this shit, she responds in a very vague, un-Hange like mumble. He gives up asking after a while.

Just when Levi is getting bored of walking through the whole town, Hange jumps in joy and points excitedly. Hoping for at least a brief reprieve from the sheer boredom he’s experiencing, Levi follows her finger to lay his eyes on a farm. Its nothing he hasn’t seen, but it does relieve him of his boredom for a moment because he hasn’t ever seen a farm here before.

There are a lot of vegetables growing in large fields, which is probably where everyone gets their food from. There’s a stable full of horses too, and Levi thinks of getting one for himself.

Hange has the same idea, and there’s something else she’s excited about. Levi doesn’t even bother trying to resist as he’s dragged towards it, knowing full well that he has no choice in the matter.

It’s a nice farm. The grass is green, there’s a nice breeze, the place is filled with calmness. The air is fresh everywhere, but especially so here. He breathes it in deeply.

There’s a cottage nearby, and a woman who looks suspiciously familiar exits it. Hange trots over to her immediately, pulling him along with her. “Carla! Its me, Hange!”

The woman, Carla, smiles at them. “Hello, Hange. And who is this?”

”This is Levi. The short grump.”

Levi scowls at her. Why does everyone only know him as a grump? This is so stupid.

Carla smiles at him. “Captain Levi? Levi Ackerman? I’ve heard all about you. My son wouldn’t stop talking about you for a long time. He really looks up to you, you know.”

’Oh?’ “Does he now?”

”Yes. I’m sure he’d be very happy to see you again. He’s been waiting for you as well.”

Who the hell is waiting for him here? What child has been waiting for him to show up here?

”Darling? Someone’s here to see you!”

Levi only has to wait a couple of minutes before Eren Yeager sprints out of the door and rushes towards them. If he weren’t already dead, maybe he’d have died from sheer shock.

As it is, he just stares dumbly in front as Eren makes his way over to them, looking like his annoying fifteen year old self. “Captain Levi, sir! You’re here!”

Levi says nothing, too wrapped up in the shock of the moment. Hange gives him a resounding thwack on the back. “Don’t rush him, Eren! He needs to process it, poor guy.”

Just to spite her, Levi gives her a shove in the ribs, and she falls onto the grass. “So, Yeager, you were waiting for me?” he says in lieu of a greeting.

Eren blushes easily. “Well, I was just waiting for all of you. You’re the first one here though. I’m glad to see you, Captain.”

”Tch. I’m not your Captain anymore, am I.”

”You’ll always be the Captain to me, sir.” Levi sighs and nudges Eren’s shin with his foot, knowing he can’t very well give him a kick in front of his mom.

”Have you been keeping clean? I hope you haven’t been slacking off just because you’re here.” “No sir! I’ve been teaching everyone to clean just like you like it.”

”Everyone else?”

”Captain Levi!”

Sasha Blouse steps out of the house, piece of meat in her mouth, and yet manages to screech clearly. There’s a boy he doesn’t know with her, and they race towards their little reunion.

”Captain Levi sir! Remember me, sir?”

”Of course I remember you, Blouse. How could I forget your incessant eating? Its good to see you.”

Sasha blushes too. “Its good to see you too, Captain Levi, sir!”

”You don’t have to call me sir anymore, Sasha.” Sasha grins so hard his own mouth hurts. “Yes sir! I mean- Captain Levi!”

Levi sighs. Sasha has not changed a bit. He’s introduced to the other kid, who’s name is apparently Marco. The boy that Jean mentioned, he remembers. The brat gets a huge smile on his face when he mentions Jean to him, and Levi can see how proud he is of his friend.

Eren’s mom herds all of them inside, including him. Levi looks at the cleanliness of the house with satisfaction. The brats have done an acceptable job. A plate of cookies is placed in front of them and Eren’s mom disappears, leaving Levi to deal with the group of teenagers and Hange.

”So Captain, how’s everyone down there?”

Of course this was coming. “They’re doing okay. Peace talks were going decently last time I knew of. Armin’s very good at what he does.”

Eren smiles brightly. “I knew Armin would be the one to save humanity.” He wistfully stirs his cup of tea as Sasha steals the cookie in his hand.

”And… how are they? Are they happy?”

Levi puts down his cup of tea to look Eren in the eye. “Its not easy to be the only ones trying to put the whole fucking world back together, but they’re doing good. They’re…happy as can be considering everything.”

Eren’s eyes dim from their previous excitement. “And… Mikasa?”

”Mikasa is fine. She misses you still, but she’s peaceful and happy as she can be too.”

Eren looks at him with a weird expression that’s a mix of both hope and guilt at the same time. “So, she hasn’t moved on from me?”

”No, I suppose not.”

Eren’s face washes over with an expression of relief, and then he blushes profusely. “Sorry, I just-“

”Shut up, you dumbass. We know.”

Eren goes quiet. Levi thinks about, for the first time since he’s got here, about the people he’s left behind. All the brats, Gabi and Falco, Onyankapon. Maybe they were hurting now because he’d left. And he’s not going to be seeing them for a while now, because they aren’t going to die anytime soon. He feels a twinge of sadness at the realisation that he’s left them in sorrow. He hopes they don’t mourn him too much.

The sombre silence is broken by the sound of Sasha’s chewing. When all heads turn to her, she emits an embarrassed squeak, but doesn’t let out on the chewing. If anything she chews harder, making Hange laugh and the other kid chuckle nervously. Eren cracks a small smile, and Levi tuts silently, refusing to entertain such ridiculous antics and refusing to reveal his amusement at them.

Soon, the entire room breaks into noisy laughter which Levi doesn’t join in on but silently appreciates. The tension was becoming unbearable even for him. He supposes he’s become soft after a day full of happiness that even a small amount of unease can faze him. He’s never been more grateful for Hange.

Still, there’s something that Eren needs to hear. He briefly wonders when he started feeling responsible for providing emotional help to these bratty teenagers.

”When we come here, we leave everything in life behind. There’s no point in holding grudges or feeling guilty now, is there?”

Eren sighs. “No sir, its just that-“ “Zip it, Eren. Leave it behind you. You know better than most to keep moving forward, so do that. Don’t ruin what you have here for yourself. It’s a miracle you’re here in the first place.”

”Yes sir. Everyone else has been telling me the same thing.” “Everyone else?” “Yeah, the rest of your friends. They told me to stop feeling so damn sorry for myself and move on from it. I don’t think I can ever take back this mistake, but there’s nothing I can do about it anymore. Besides, everyone I’ve killed is here in peace, and I’m glad to hear that the world down there is healing too.”

Leave it to Eren, the melodramatic little shit to turn everything into such a dramatic affair. Levi just nods and watches Hange devour a cookie the size of her hand in one swallow. He hopes she doesn’t speak with her mouth full.

”So, there are Marleyans here, huh?”

”Yeah. I’ve seen that kid who stole form us here somewhere, though only in passing. And I’ve seen the rest of them here too. Bertholdt, Galliard and Ymir.”

”Ah, so the rest of them ended up here too.”

He’s not particularly interested in seeing any of their old enemies, but he guesses that its good for them that they’re here.

Hange chips in brightly with a grin. “You won’t believe what we did to Eren when we first met again!”

Eren groans. “Hange, not again.”

The Marco brat speaks up, reminding Levi that he is, in fact, present here. “She made him build her house. And he still helps her with her experiments.”

”You helped her?”

Eren smiles weakly. “I wanted to apologise to Hange after everything I put her through. I-“

”Stop. Let’s not go there again. I’ve said that I’ve moved past what you’ve done, and I don’t need another remainder.” For a second, he can see the authority in her gaze, and is reminded sharply just why Hange had been chosen as a Commander.

The look drops, and Hange beams brightly, looking more like herself. “Besides, after all the labour I put you through, I think I don’t mind having you around.” She means it. Whatever happened between Hange and Eren while he wasn’t here has clearly allowed them to look beyond the events of their lives and move forward. He’s glad they’ve made some sort of peace with each other, though Hange may never see Eren the same way again. But clearly she’s willing to be around him, so it’s a start.

”You did a shitty job with her house, Eren. It looks like it’ll fall apart the second someone tries to take a shit. Especially someone like Four-eyes.”

”Not at all. Its still standing right? Eren did okay.”

”That’s cause you have shit taste, Shit Glasses.”

”Hey, I haven’t heard that one in a while! Why’d you even start calling me that? Oh wait, I remember now!

As Hange launches into a tirade of words which he tunes out after a while, he looks around for what is probably the umpteenth time and enjoys the blissful calmness that life had never let him feel.

They meet more people that day after bidding goodbye to Eren. As they step out, his vision is rudely assaulted by an unseemly yellow beard which could only belong to that furry freak Zeke Yeager, who seems to be heading into the house they’ve just exited. Levi has no interest in ever associating with him even in this place. He grunts in greeting when Zeke wishes him a good afternoon, and decides to let their past bad blood slide, although he still isn’t going to make any effort to get along with him. They’ve both wounded each other more than even death can repair, and the reason why he isn’t foaming at the mouth at the sight of Zeke is because of his sacrifice to end the rumbling. He respects that, albeit begrudgingly.

Maybe he’ll be able to tolerate him soon. Maybe.

They leave everything in life behind here, after all. Its like a new start, but not really. Kind of.

Hange tries to run off the list once more. “And I’ve seen Keith and the Marleyan Commander here too! They meet up with each other on the daily.” That surprises him more than he cares to admit. That asshole Commander probably has a lot in common with old Shadis, and well, he hopes they enjoy each other’s company. As much as he doesn’t really respect Shadis, he’d been witness to his tired eyes and breakdowns, and he can understand the stress that had come with being the Commander of the Survey Corps. At least Armin didn’t have to bear that particular burden for an extended period of time.

All the same, they go find Shadis. Shadis actually tears up when he sees Levi, which makes him very uncomfortable. “I never thought that you would-“ he gulps, “you would do so much for us, for humanity when you first joined. It was truly an honour to have fought beside you once, even though our tenure as fellow comrades did not last very long.” He looks like he might hug him, the thought of which is unwelcome, though not as off putting as it may have once been. He’s never really seen Shadis like this ever, though judging by the expression on Hange’s face this is still something that is very out of character for Shadis.

Levi responds with a very eloquent, honourable “No problem.” And then silently judges his lacking speaking skills. At least he doesn’t get more than a pat on the shoulder.

They also meet Levi’s third squad, the one who’d been turned into titans by the ha- Zeke. Valis tries to hug him before seemingly remembering himself. “We’ve not touched a drop of alcohol since we got here, Captain. We’ve been drinking only Black Tea in your honour.”

They tell him that they’re grateful to him for having killed them quickly, instead of letting them live a mindless existence as titans. “You did your duty, Captain. Its why we followed you.”

Its relieving and he’s thankful. Thankful that they don’t hate him despite everything, relieved that death was painless and swift like he’d hoped so fervently as he’d slaughtered them.

They even run into the other shifters they’d fought in the war. Bertholdt just stands and stares with barely disguised nervousness until Levi pushes past him and walks away. The Jaw Titans just look at him too, until the newest one sucks up his goddamn pride and asks about his friends. Levi replies with the barest minimum of words, because he’s still being stared at like he’s a particularly nasty piece of shit on a clean surface. The Ymir girl asks about Historia, who Levi had been perfectly well off not thinking about. Hange and he leave them as fast as possible.

Its evening when they finally head back to Mike’s house, when he remembers what they even went out for. Hange laughs nervously when he points this out. “Well, looks like we’re going to be roomies for another day, buddy! Say, I could use your help with-“

”Go take a bath first, Four-eyes. You smell.”

Mike and Nanaba aren’t home, so Levi waits for Hange to take a shower before they go and find them.

Its been a really long day, even if he feels no tiredness. Since he’s gotten here, everything has been happening so fast that he hasn’t quite processed it yet. And Levi has never been one to ever process anything. But now he’s all alone with nothing to do but wait.

And he’s alone with nothing but his mind for company, the treacherous thing. He can’t escape it, even in death, and certainly not in life. Even in death, he can’t be rid of such human thoughts and feelings.

He’s found so many people, so many friends again. Eren, Sasha, his squad…he feels like a person instead of a husk after so long. Its everything he’d ever wanted but had never hoped to find.

And it really sinks in that they’re never going away, no matter how many times he’s told himself the same thing before. That he’s done. Everything is over. He’s…free.

Isn’t that so strange.

All he’s ever done is survive. Live on. Keep fighting. He doesn’t know anything else other than that. And now…fighting doesn’t exist here. He can’t rely on violence, his oldest friend and foe alike. Whom he doesn’t need anymore, not when it cannot even be in a place like this.

And death has been a part of him, a curse entrapping him in its embrace just as much as violence had aided him. But neither of those exist here, the two things that Levi knows more than any man. The two constants of his life are not found here.

And without them, Levi should feel lost and adrift. Because he isn’t living, but he’s alive. He isn’t in life but he isn’t non-existent. This is somewhere he is, where he can see, hear, touch and feel. It feels like a new world, somewhere he has never been but knows.

All through life he’s seen the worst of man, from criminals to rich bastards to warmongers. Cruelty and the truth of life have been visible to his eye since the very beginning, when he watched as his mother cried in their little dirty room every night when she thought he was asleep. But he can see none of that here.

It doesn’t feel like a second chance, instead it feels like a reward. It feels like he’s being offered everything that he’d been denied in that world. Everything here is so good and pure and so far removed from everything he’s ever known. And despite how much he’s relied on violence in his life, he doesn’t miss its absence. He should, but he doesn’t. He’s so happy here, he feels nothing but what he’s always wanted but knew he’d never had. The kind he’d had in dreams, the dreams from which he’d never wanted to wake up. But he cannot even find it in him to question if this is a dream.

The feel of his friends touch, the expressions on their faces, the assurance in their voices tell him ’no, it is not a dream.’ He’s really in a place where he can rest, after everything. He can do anything here.

Here, where those who gave their lives come, having died valiantly for the cause. And he’d lived his whole life unable to save any of them, and then living in peace in Marley, home of the people who launched an attack on their whole world and ruined them all. He’d never gone to see their graves even, he didn’t know what had become of them, of their legacy.

Does he truly deserve…all this? This pleasure, this peace, this overwhelming happiness. Is he selfish to want all this, to keep it even though he may not deserve to receive it?

And what of those he’s left behind? Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, Gabi, Falco, even Onyankapon. When will they be here, when will they finally be rewarded for this. How much longer will he have to wait? He knows they will come and that his wait will finally pay off. It won’t be like the times he lost his comrades, without bearing any hope of ever seeing them again. He’ll see those people here someday, but he still feels sombre. He misses them, but he’ll have to wait here too.

’Look at you, a proper citizen of death’, he thinks, and scuffs at the ground below his shoes, parting the sand. The stars are twinkling in the dark night sky. Its nice to be here, but…

But.

There’s always something.

He’s in a place where everything that’s been ripped from him, every single piece of his heart that has been lost in the world below is being returned to him. But, he still feels adrift, like he’s being held up by a bunch of balloons, just floating around, not grounded like the rest of the people here seem to be. There’s still something that’s missing, something he hasn’t found that he’s been waiting to see, the one thing that he had lived and fought for and lost. And its isn’t here.

He doesn’t even know what it is. All he can think of, when he tries to remember, is the sky, the blue sky, and the sun, bright and warm.

Something worth fighting for indeed. And if there’s one thing Levi has ever been good at, its fighting.

’I will find you. I’ll remember you, whatever you are, and I’ll fight to find you again.’

Hange skips out looking only slightly better, and Levi is grateful that she doesn’t smell at the very least. She grabs him and keeps skipping, and Levi wonders if Hange hit her head somewhere.

But she seems to know where she’s going, and no amount of insulting or questioning or even the threat of a beating seem to reach her ears. Not that its ever worked, but whatever.

Hange finally reaches another house on the same beach. Its smaller than most houses, but it looks comfortable, something that could be considered a home.

Someone’s already inside though, and he questions who it might be, who is so important that Hange can’t tell him without dragging him across all the sand.

They go up the three measly stairs to its threshold, and Hange pounds on the door so hard some dust falls from the ceiling above them. Levi steps back in disgust, ready to tell her off before the door opens and he is unceremoniously shoved through its entrance.

Its dark and the lamps haven’t been lit. What sort of-

”Surprise!”

He almost jumps. Almost. Then looks around in shock and horror.

Because everyone is here. All his friends are here, all wearing their uniforms, and smiling like they’ve never felt sadness in their lives.

Hange gives him a knowing glance and shrugs off her jacket and pants, revealing her uniform under them. He mentally kicks himself for not noticing the boots that were clearly visible through her clothes.

’What the hell is this?’

Hange grins brightly. “Its your welcome party! We wanted to celebrate your arrival here!”

He frowns. “So you’re celebrating the my death? The hell?”

Hange replies smoothly. “No, just the beginning of your existence here! Its not life but its where we all are, and it’s a cause for celebration that you’ve finally joined us. So lets celebrate!

Then there are familiar faces crowding him, and he’s dragged over to the entrance of the house once more. So many of his comrades are here. All of them are here, all his friends, dressed in their uniforms, the wings of freedom draped across their backs.

He tries to speak up, to say something, anything, but for once, he has nothing to say.

There are suddenly more people arriving at the door, and Levi can see nothing but people, all dressed in their uniforms, some even in the black full suit that the Corps had adopted towards the end.

These are all his comrades, every single member of the Survey Corps. Every single person who died fighting for their cause, all gathered here in a huge crowd.

Hange clears her throat. Turning his attention back to the room, he finds many new but familiar faces. Commander Pixis, Nile, Shadis too. What is this all about?

”I’m sure you know who this is, right? This is Captain Levi Ackerman, known by all of us as a trusted comrade, known by others as humanity’s strongest soldier. After a great long time, he’s finally joined us here.”

”We’ve all fought long and hard, giving our hearts and lives to the cause, ever faithful that the comrades who remained would carry our dreams to the end, and fulfil our goals. We’ve all given everything, laid down our lives since the beginning.”

”Us veterans all laid down our lives to pursue freedom, to take back our world. We were the original Survey Corps, the first iteration of our ideals, and we hoped to one day reach the end, to see freedom.”

”And though we gave our lives, we could rest assured that our dreams would see the end, our sacrifice would not be in vain, because one person was always there to carry us forward and to complete our mission.”

”Captain Levi fought for us, for our dreams. He was selfless and brave, and he carried us to the end, completed our role, and saved the world we fought for. He honoured us in the best way, and he fulfilled the duty of the Survey Corps.”

”Though every one of us left him, placed all our dreams and hopes on his shoulders, and caused him so much pain, he fought. He fought for us, and gave meaning to our deaths and sacrifices. He gave us our closure, fulfilled our wishes, and kept moving forward through all the pain, even though he was alone and hurt and so burdened.”

”Levi seemed so rash and cold, but his heart was larger than anyone’s, his mind was stronger than everyone’s. He devoted his heart and wore the wings of freedom to carry all of us forth to fight for humanity.”

”He represented everything the Survey Corps stood for. He was brave, loyal, caring, kind, selfless and good. He fought for humanity, to give us closure. And we watched him. The last of us, fighting till the end.”

”And we are so grateful, so thankful, and so proud of you for carrying all of us this far, despite all your pain, despite how much easier it may have been to just die instead. You fought and lived for us and we could not be more grateful or happy. Our sacrifices had meaning, our lives were not given in vain, and you showed that to the world.”

“To the most loyal, brave and devoted soldier. To the one who fought for us, our own wings of freedom. To our most dedicated comrade, and our dearest friend. To Levi!”

They all salute, together, in unison. They salute him, their faces smiling and happy. Proud. Satisfied. Everything he’s fought for…

’You guys…’

Their fists clench over their hearts strongly, proudly, boldly. Its just like that time, when the fighting was done, when he’d looked at them for what he thought was the last time and thought, I’ve done it, you guys.’

’Your lives had meaning, so much more than I can say. And I’ve brought you here, to this world, these ruins.’

And its like that again, except its not just a vision in the mist, a final salute to say goodbye. This a salute of gratitude, to say thank you. To him.

Hange approaches him. “You’ve suffered so much, lost so much more than we’ll ever know and you still gave everything you had. We’re all so happy to see you here with us once again. All of us knew that you would lead us to victory. You fought so well. We couldn’t be happier. Thank you, Levi.”

There’s a sudden outburst of noise, and he spins around wildly to see his comrades cheering loudly. They yell and cry out and it shocks him, its too much. Its too much for him, they’re giving him way too much.

”No. This isn’t…I-“

The noise is deafening. His head pounds, the blood roars in his ears. It sounds too much like screaming. Like the screams he’s heard from those soldiers, those children, as they rode to their deaths, led to their doom by-

His vision spins, fading. He sees yellow, like strands of the sun. Too bright, too blinding.

Why is he here? Where is-

”Levi? Levi, what’s wrong?”

Its too bright, its too hazy. He can’t see. He won’t be able to see, not unless he takes hold of-

He shouldn’t be here. Not without-

”Levi!”

Hange’s voice is like a moment of clarity in the fog that is his mind. He briefly registers that he is no longer outside, rather, he is inside the house, though that doesn’t concern him in the slightest.

”Levi, can you hear me?”

He exhales shakily. “Yeah.”

Hange sighs in obvious relief. “What was that? One minute you were fine and the next you were just…frozen in place like you’d died or something.”

He can’t stop the flinch that passes through him, and Hange’s hands leave his shoulders in surprise. She reaches out to place a hand back, but he bats it away.

”Hange, what’s happening?”

He startles again, and whips around to see a lot of familiar faces.

”Calm your trap, Nile. I’m trying to figure it out.”

Levi addresses Nile for the first time, strange visions taking a very temporary backseat in his mind. “What are you doing here?”

Nile rolls his eyes. “I was a part of the Military. I saw you fight and wanted to express my gratitude for the part you played in stopping the Rumbling. That’s also why Pixis is here.” He gestures to the old man next to him, who’s still taking a long sip out of his hip flask.

”Tch. I would have thought you’d be part of the Yeagerists, Nile.”

Nile frowns. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you think so lowly of me, but I suppose that’s both of our faults. We’ve never been famous friends, after all. But no, I don’t support the rule of the Military. All I’ve wanted was for us to be happy, not become the next warmongers.”

”And if we’d ever agreed with the merits of mass euthanasia or genocide, we would have agreed with Zeke’s plan from the very beginning. I do not approve of the current state of affairs as such, and I am truly grateful to you for stopping such a crime against humanity. It was you who ended the rumbling, correct?”

Levi looks to Pixis, seeing the utter seriousness in his eyes. Levi respects Pixis, if no other Commander.

His head twinges painfully, and he grunts in affirmation.

Pixis places a hand on his shoulder and smiles. “And for that, you have our eternal gratitude. You’ve done us well, Levi. But it appears you don’t believe so.”

Levi curses Pixis, the man is too good at reading people.

”Yeah.”

”What? Why?” Hange bursts, and steps back at a look from Pixis.

”Levi…”

”I don’t know if I should be here.”

Nanaba huffs. “Of course you do.” Its meant to be reassuring, comforting, but it just pisses him off more than ever. His head throbs dully.

”Why? All I did was fight the same fight any of you would have, and in the end, we even let Eren wipe out most of the fucking population. And then I lived in Marley, the place from where the people who ruined our lives came from. I worked with the people who killed so many of our friends to kill someone who was doing-“ he gestures with his fingers, “- the ‘best possible thing’ for Paradis. I never even knew what became of all your graves, your memorials, and we didn’t even have a body for you.” He turns painfully towards Hange. “The Yeagerists used your research for their weaponry, and I didn’t do a damn thing about it. I lived a great life down there, after letting all my friends get eaten by titans I could have damn well killed. So, tell me, why do I get to be here?”

There’s a stunned silence. Levi slumps to the ground. All the fight has utterly left him. He wraps his arms around his legs and tucks his head into the crook of his knees.

”What do you mean, the ‘best possible thing’ for Paradis? You don’t mean to say that you agree with that, do you?” Hange’s voice is not harsh or accusing. Its calm and controlled. Her Commander voice.

Levi sighs. Another case of him saying stupid shit he doesn’t mean. “No, of course not. I stopped it, didn’t I?”

”And you thought any of us would ever agree with something like that?”

He doesn’t need to think about the answer to that one. “No. None of you would ever want that.”

”Yeah. We wouldn’t want that. The Survey Corps has always been about fighting for humanity. We would never want to wipe out the world for ourselves. And you knew that. You care about life, Levi. You never wanted this either.”

”You were hurting badly, I knew that. We’ll never know what its like to be all alone with everyone we ever knew dead. But you felt all that, and you fought. You were always there when we needed you, and you fulfilled the role of the Corps so well. I thought we’d made that clear back when we saw each other, before all of us left.”

”And…it must have been painful to live without anyone you knew by your side, but you did. For us. And you deserved to live in peace in the world that you gave so much to see. We all did, but we gave our lives without regrets. We had no expectations of you to save our lives, and you have to stop thinking that we ever held it against you for not rescuing us. We came here, and we could finally rest. You deserve it just as much as we do, if not more. You’ve done so much, seen so much. Don’t you want this, Levi?”

Its pathetic, how quickly the admission leaves his lips. “I do.”

Hange smiles softly. “Then you deserve to be here, just as much as the rest of us. You’ve fought long and hard. Now we can rest and be together forever.”

Forever. “Sounds like a long time.”

”It isn’t that long. Its just forever.”

And she wraps him in a hug once again. He rests his head on her shoulder, closes his eyes. She smells like soap and flowers.

Its so…warm. He feels like he never wants to let go. Its been so long. And he feels that more than ever right now. He remembers all the pain, the feeling of being so hopelessly lost and alone, stuck in a world he couldn’t understand, and wishing so fervently that someone had remained by his side through till the end.

And they’re here now, and yet, he can’t put aside all his shit for a damn minute. But he wants this so much, has wanted it for so long.

Maybe Hange’s right. Maybe he can rest here. Be with his friends, his mom. And he’s never going to live with that kind of pain again.

And…they…they’re grateful. To him. They’d saluted him. Him.

’It was worth it after all. All that pain, everything that happened. They’re happy.’

’I did it.’

’They…they’re happy. I- I did it.’

And he can be…at peace.

”Yeah. That’s what I’ve wanted for you for so long, Levi.”

There’s no more pain here. Just peace. Happiness.

For so long. He’s wanted this for so long. And he has it now. Its never going away.

’Finally.’

Tears prick at his eyes. He can feel wetness run down his face. It feels so gross.

’Finally.’

No more pain. No more hurt. Just peace.

He can feel himself shaking, and finds himself unable to suppress his sobs any longer. Hange rubs his back comfortingly, and he fists his hands in her jacket, trying to hold onto her.

A choked sound like some sort of animal rips itself out of his throat, the likes of which he’s never emitted before. He’d managed to get through life without ever reducing himself to this. Always shouldering the pain, moving forward, masking every single damn feeling to keep fighting, and losing, and losing…

”It was so hard…” He whimpers into Hange’s shoulder, while gasping for breath. The tears won’t stop coming, and his head hurts so fucking much. “I thought that death would be easier sometimes. I didn’t want to stay there sometimes. I missed you.”

The physical effects of baring your soul are more intense than he’d expected. It scares him, how the human body is capable of bearing such pain and yet this feels worse than anything he’s ever felt.

He must look like a fool, gasping for air and whining like he used to when he was just a brat. Pathetic. And yet, he can’t stop.

”I know. I know, Levi. I’m so sorry. But its over. Its all over now. I won’t leave you again.”

’She’s not going to leave me ever again.’

He sobs quietly as she rocks back and forth, holding him in her arms. There’s wetness on his clothes too, which makes him realise that she’s crying too. That more than anything makes him finally decide to stop.

He gasps in a deep breath, and exhales shakily.

’Finally.’

Hange loosens her hold on is, and he takes the opportunity to wipe the wetness out of his eyes. Crying had been something so foreign to him until now, and it doesn’t really make him feel any better like he’s been told it does.

No, what makes him feel better is the dearest friend by his side once again, and the knowledge that that is where she’ll always be from now on.

That’s where everyone he’s ever loved, ever lost will be from now on, until all of eternity.

There’s a cloak draped across his arms, and he can register Mike’s large hands fasten the clasp around his neck. His hands grasp his shoulder in the reassuring way that only Mike can pull off.

’Its going to be like this from now, huh? I can live with that.’

A smile makes its way to his lips again, and he doesn’t bother trying to supress it or even hide it like he surely would have. Its an overwhelming relief that floods him, like it had the last time he had ever dared to smile freely in front of others.

”Thank you, Hange.”

Hange watches him in shock for a moment, and then smiles softly. “Its alright. We all needed to adjust to seeing everyone again. Its not that easy of a change. It happened to all of us.”

”Hey, Levi, you look really cute when you smile, you know that?”

He wipes the smile off is face as soon as the words leave Nanaba’s mouth, and scowls furiously at her. She just smirks at him.

”I would take this opportunity to say welcome, Levi. Officially.”

Heat creeps up his face when he realises that Pixis and Nile have been witness to his embarrassing display. Pixis looks unfazed, though Nile looks just as uncomfortable as he feels right now. Shadis looks both surprised and sad. He ducks his head, scowling even deeper, cheeks blazing.

”Not to mention how adorable you look when your face is that lovely shade of red!” Nanaba gushes, just to spite him, he knows.

”I will beat your ass. I can still do it.”

”Ah, is that a threat, Levi?”

”No, it’s a promise. I can and will do it. You won’t be able to take a shit without feeling miserable.”

”Hah! You’re so funny, Levi.”

Levi tries to jump at her, but Mike throws him down first. Levi is buried under Mike’s enormous body and Hange enthusiastically plops herself onto the pile, effectively squishing him.

Levi can do nothing but grumble about the blatant cheating, to which Hange replies that there were no rules to the game. Mike sniffs in affirmation, and Levi’s head hits the ground with a groan as everyone bursts into laughter.

It’s a nice room they’re in. Its clean and sparsely furnished. There are some flowers he’d liked looking at, and a nice big couch. It feels like a place he could call home.

Hange notices him looking around, and gets off the pile, allowing Levi to stand. “So, what do you think of the place?”

He wonders why she’s asking him of all people. “Its alright. Clean enough.”

Hange beams. “Great, cause its yours!”

It takes a moment for her words to register. Surprise follows. “What?”

”Yeah. All of us built it together just for you!”

”All of us?”

”Yeah! The whole Survey Corps! Everyone did something to build this house. Your friends brought you that tea set and your mom picked the flowers.” Hange picks up the teacup on the table and hands it to him. “This one is even easier to hold for you, since you hold yours so weirdly.”

He takes the teacup from her hands, still stunned. “But why…”

Nile scoffs, reminding Levi that he’s still here. “You could be more grateful, you know. Some people worked their asses off to do this for you.”

Levi deigns to turn a wicked glare on him, shutting him up.

”We did his cause we wanted to. You honoured us all, Levi. You carried all the thousands of our dreams on your two shoulders. We all wanted to do something for you. Your newest squad helped build the place along the rest of the scouts. Your first squad cleaned the place. Mike, Nanaba and I decorated the place. Your friends and your mom furnished it. Even Eren and Sasha fed us while we were at it and helped out.”

”We all wanted to show our gratitude and respect. Every one of those soldiers out there owe you a great deal. We wanted to honour you. Everyone else may have fought for the war to end and for the people of the world, but we know that you fought for us. You are our hero for now and forever, Levi. Our most favourite soldier.”

Levi looks out of the window. Every single soldier out there is drinking some black liquid from a teacup. “Are they drinking tea?”

”Yeah. Its Black Tea, with no sugar and no milk, just the way you like it.”

They are. There are long table with a bunch of cups and kettles in them. There’s not a single person without a cup in their hands and a smile on their face. Some are even holding it the way he does. He watches as Valis tries to take a sip and spills tea all over his person.

”That’s another thing we’re doing tonight. For you.”

His eyes sting again, but tears don’t come. He smiles again, out of real happy surprise this time. It’s a touching gesture, and makes him feel warm inside.

”Well, its time for presents!” Hange announces gleefully. Levi turns back to her in shock, because there’s more?

Nanaba rushes out for a few minutes, and returns with his squad, Furlan and Isabel. “What’s this?”

”Happy Birthday, big brother!” Isabel chirps. Furlan rolls his eyes. “That isn’t funny dumbass.” Isabel pouts.

”Anyway Captain, we have presents!” Petra announces, as they carry in a few packages, the likes of which he’s never received in his life. “Open them!”

Furlan shakes his head. “I’ll never get used to hearing people call you Captain.” He mutters some other things to himself as Isabel grabs the largest package and shoves it at him. “Open it, open it!”

”Alright. Calm down.” He starts to peel off the paper methodically. Its been packed pretty neatly, and he doesn’t want to tear the paper. He manages to get it of without incident, and opens the box.

”Its my handiwork.” Hange announces proudly as Levi stands to extract the 3DMG from its box. It looks just like he remembers, shiny and intimidating. It already feels like a part of him. No matter the war, he’d always loved the sensation of flying through the air freely, like nothing could weigh him down. He’ll enjoy playing with it freely here. His wings, given back to him after what feels like ages. It means more than he can say.

All the same, he turns to Hange. “Thank you, Four-eyes.” Hange just grins. “Don’t stop now! Keep going!”

Levi uncovers a pack of vintage tea, a broomstick, a few suits, a new cravat, a jacket, other cleaning supplies, and a decorative vase. Gelgar steps in for a minute to hand him a few bottles of whiskey. “You know, tea isn’t so bad after all! But, of course, whiskey’s better.” Pixis gives him an appreciative nod, and hands Levi a hip flask which looks a lot like his own.

Shadis gives him a coat with the wings of freedom emblazoned on it just above the heart. Levi puts it on. It’s a good coat, nice, warm and soft. He briefly grasps the symbol above it, right above the heart, feeling some weird energy spread through him at the action.

Even Nile has something that’s not a complete waste of time to offer. He gives him a packaged pile of what seems to be a bunch of books. It’s a bunch of picture books, more like. Levi flips through pages of colourful pictures, showing him so many things like the ocean, beaches, mountains covered in snow, dense forests, cities, rivers of fire spewing from a mountain with a hole on the top(which is called a volcano, apparently), and other stuff. He doesn’t mind thanking him for the gift. Nile says he doesn’t mind giving it to him.

”I saw the volcano and thought of you.” He says, and Levi gives him a glare without any real bite in it.

He likes everything he’s gotten. They’re things he’ll keep close.

Behind him, Eld and Gunther laugh at one of Furlan’s jokes, and Petra and Oluo are feeding Isabel something. Mike and Nanaba are kissing, Hange’s trying to make Shadis laugh, and Pixis has manged to convince Nile to take a drink out of his flask.

It feels so natural, so, dare he say, normal. He feels like a person instead of just a soldier after so long.

And he’s so happy to see everyone again, all well and happy themselves.

And it feels right, it feels so right. He deserves this, and he wants this more than ever. He’s wanted this for so long, and now he has it. Its almost too good to be true.

But, he thinks as Hange barrels into him for another bone crushing hug with a whoop of joy, it is.

And he doesn’t feel like leaving anytime soon. Not when he’s finally happy, not when he has everything he could ever want, everything he’s ever lost given back.

Yeah, this is perfect. He’s free and peaceful. He has everything he’s wanted.

He’s happy.

Eventually, the “party” comes to an end. Levi sits in the porch watching people leave. Some soldiers come up to him and do the salute once more with huge, earnest grins on their faces. Once, it would have disgusted that these grinning kids would be heading straight for their doom, but the sight just makes him happy now. He does it back to them, which makes their eyes go wide.

They grin and salute again, and run off to wherever it is that kids go with their friends. He enjoys the silence for a while, and watches the sun rise. The sky is beautiful, lighting up their surrounding in shades of red. He’s watched many a sunrise, but this just feels special. His first sunrise here.

He gets to see strands of sun for real with his eyes open. The water by the house glistens and sparkles.

Like eyes.

He starts, surprised by his own thinking. ’Where the hell did that come from? Like eyes?’

Whose eyes? And what is with seeing ”strands of sun” anyway? What is that, then? Hair?

Why does that even sound plausible? What the hell? Has he finally lost it? He’d be one to go mad after death for sure, but he doesn’t feel insane.

This feels like something he should know.

And Levi doesn’t like not knowing things.

The headache’s back again, and he rubs at his head angrily.

Hange plops down next to him and claps him on the back. “Hey buddy! Whatcha doin’?”

Levi grimaces. “Don’t talk like that, Four-eyes. Its not for you.”

Hange laughs. “I guess you’re right. So what’s wrong with your head?” “Just a headache.” “Really?

He turns to her, surprised by the sudden change in her light-hearted tone. “Yeah. What about it?” Hange chews her lip thoughtfully “Well, for starters, none of us have actually gotten any sort of sickness, even headaches, out of nowhere. You’re the first person here to feel something like that.”

”Oh.”

”Yeah. Guess its something to look into. You want something for that?” He passes. Its not bad enough to warrant medication, but it’s a real inconvenience. A real pain.

”You could be useful and look into it now, Four-eyes. I want to be rid of it, and I have nothing to do now anyways.” Hange jumps up, clearly thrilled at the thought of being able to discover whatever weird shit is happening to him. “Okay, lets go!”

He has to stop Hange and make sure she tells Nanaba and Mike that they’re actually going somewhere. She’s still so abnormal, even in death.

Once they get to Hange’s barn, into which he only enters after much cajoling on her part, she sits him down and gets to business.

”So, when did this headache start taking place?” Levi thinks back. “Well, back at that party you threw.” Hange nods. “Alright, did you feel anything else? Pain somewhere else, some sort of unusual physical reaction, maybe?” He shakes his head. “Though I did see some weird shit when I closed my eyes. Like yellow rope, or-“ strands of sun “…and blue eyes.”

Hange blinks curiously. “Blue eyes?” “Yeah, that’s what I said.” Hange takes in the information. “Hmm. Do you know anyone with blue eyes and yellow hair?” How did she even think about hair? “We’re talking yellow ropey stuff and blue eyes. I just assumed that rope would be hair. Think of it as trial and error. So do you?”

The answer spills from his mouth before he can think about it. “Yeah.” Hange looks surprised, like she hadn’t expected her hypothesis to ring true. “Okay, who is it? Armin?”

”Its-“ He stops. “I don’t know.” “You don’t know?” “No.” “Then why’d you say you did?” “Because I do! I just-“ He blinks rapidly, thoughts clouding over. “I just can’t remember.”

”You know someone like that, but you can’t remember them?” “Yeah.” Hange sits herself down. “Alright then. Do you think they’re dead?” “Yeah. They’ve been dead a long time.” “And how do you know that?” “I just do.”

Hange frowns. “Alright then. What do you think was your connection to this person?” ’My connection?’ He closes his eyes, and tries to think about where he would have found a person with blue eyes and yellow hair. This person isn’t Armin, but-

”He was in the Survey Corps.” Hange raises an eyebrow. “The Survey Corps? A fellow soldier.” She tries to recollect. “I can’t recall. A lot of people match that description. Are you sure it isn’t Armi-“ “He’s not Armin.”

Hange looks shocked by his vehemence. “All right. Then who is it? Only you know this mystery person. You said it was a he. What else can you remember about him?” He closes his eyes again.

”Dunno. I don’t remember anything. I don’t even know how I knew he was a man.” He tries to imagine a man with yellow hair and blue eyes. ’The epitome of attractiveness, huh. Just a big blonde bastard.’

”Think you know anything about him that could help? Something that could help you remember?”

He doesn’t remember anything. Why had he been associated with some big blonde guy like that? For all he knew, the guy was some sort of pervert-

”…He liked my sense of humour. And my tea.”

”That’s…kinda helpful?” “Don’t be patronizing, Four-eyes.” “Yeah, yeah, keep going at it.”

He runs through his memories of the Survey Corps. His squad, Hange’s experiments, every damn thing with Eren, his recruitment. He can still remember the humiliation he’d felt when-

He blinks. Strange. He can’t recall. Who’d been there? He’d been threatened to join by…Mike? No, Mike had been behind him then. He’d pushed his face into the water. There had been someone else there. Someone he couldn’t remember.

”I think Blondie was the one who made me join the Survey Corps.” Hange furrows her brows. “That would mean that our guy wasn’t just any ordinary soldier. He had to have a title. How did you arrive at that conclusion?” “I can’t remember who made me join. I would have remembered something like that.”

Hange grins. “This is great! Progress! Now we know that there’s a bunch of gaps in your memory, so we can find out exactly where they are and try to fill them in! Keep thinking!”

Levi obliges. And realises there are several things that don’t make sense. “There’s a lot I don’t remember. I remember losing Furlan and Isabel, then leaving for an expedition, but-“

”Another thing you don’t remember?” “Yeah.”

”And in Shiganshina, when those new recruits charged to their deaths. He was there.” “How do you know that?” “There’s a gap in my memory before I went to take down the Beast Titan. I think he went with them. I feel like he lead them.”

Hange’s gaze becomes severe. “Then he must have proposed the plan itself.” “Yeah.” He sees her clench her fist. “Hey-“

”He must have been a real monster. And a great leader.” That stuns him. “What?”

”To have so many children charge to their deaths. Just for a gamble. We must have needed him to get that far. To retake Shiganshina.”

”And… then?” “Then… there’s nothing. I can’t find any gaps.”

”So he must have died in Shiganshina. Someone with a lot of power, on the event of whose death I became Commander…”

He reaches the same conclusion she does, evidently. “He was our Commander.”

They just stand there, looking at each other as though the answers they seek are written in the depths of their eyes. “How could we have forgotten our own Commander?” He asks.

”What Commander?” Hange asks.

He looks at her in surprise. “We were just talking about him now! We forgot our Commander, the guy who lead us through everything until we took back the wall! Don’t start with your shitty games, Four-eyes!”

He sees realization flash through Hange’s eyes, followed by a glazed look. “I’m sorry, what were we talking about?”

This is new, and this is wrong. The hell’s going on here?

”Hange.” He starts slowly. “Do you know what we’re doing here?” She frowns in thought. “Talking about the expedition to Shiganshina? Hey, why were we talking about that anyway? What’s going on?”

”I don’t know.”

Something’s going on. They’ve forgotten their Commander. And the moment they find out is when Four-eyes spontaneously develops some sort of selective short term memory loss. Hange gets up and steps out, rubbing her head thoughtfully.

And as for their Commander, he’s some guy who sent children to their deaths. And the surprising part is that he doesn’t feel angry or outraged. The guy was someone who had lead them well, well enough to convince recruits to ride to their deaths so that Levi could take down the Beast Titan. He’d probably sacrificed everyone they’d lost to reach the end. He’d been willing to put aside his emotions and focus on the mission, something that Levi could respect in a Commander.

’Probably why I followed him. I wouldn’t have if he were any lesser than the best Commander.’

He doesn’t feel any regret when he thinks of choosing to follow someone so ruthless, so cold and uncaring. ’I feel like he cared. He probably cared a lot.’

’He lead us well. I would have followed him anywhere.’ The thought comes out of nowhere. There’s a strange feeling of calmness pouring over him at the thought even though he has no clue what it means.

There’s a strange kind of pressure on his throbbing forehead, like someone’s kneading it to soothe the pain. It feels nice, like a reprieve from the annoying ache.

It feels like something that guy would do. It feels like he’s done it before. He wonders what sort of person he must have been, for Levi to have let him become so close to him.

He must have been a selfless person. Someone who fought for humanity. He would have followed someone like that. But… that isn’t right.

Blondie wasn’t really selfless, was he. No, he had his own motivations. And Levi had followed him regardless. But why had he then? If he hadn’t agreed with the guy, why had he followed him so closely?

Who is he?

And, if they’d been so close, how had he let him die? Had the guy wanted to die? Go out like some sort of hero? Had he reached his dream, whatever it was?

He knows the answer to the last question. No, he hadn’t. He’d died before he could. He doesn’t know how he knows that. He just does.

Maybe he’d wanted to be a hero. Instead of a monster. Go out selflessly, fighting for their cause. Maybe it had all been too much to bear the weight of all those lost lives.

He doesn’t know how he knows all this either.

He doesn’t think he will. He doesn’t know any more than what his jumbled thoughts are telling him. But now, there’s some feeling inside him, a warmth that fills him when he thinks about that man, that Commander.

And its comfortable, natural, familiar. It is-

”Love, baby. It’s a very warm feeling in your heart when you see someone you love. You never want to let them go ever again. You want to be with them forever and ever. That’s love. And I love you, sweetheart. Your mommy loves you, and she wants to be with you forever and ever.”

”If you love someone, you’ll always protect them. You’ll never forget them. Even if they’re gone, they’ll always be with you. You’ll never be cold when you’re with them. Doesn’t that sound beautiful, Levi?”

Love.

That’s what it is. He’d loved that man. Loved him. He’d loved him more than anything. That he knows, more than anything else.

He’d known this person. He’d loved him. And now he can’t remember.

He should never have forgotten him.

His head pounds again, the rubbing on it ceasing suddenly. He feels like he’s floating, hanging by threads, drifting aimlessly, lost in the expanse of this world he doesn’t know, and he won’t ever know, not when the one thing that he’s fought for is lost to him, lost and gone, along with everything that had mattered. Because he had been all that had mattered, and he’s lost.

And all he has left is a promise, the promise he’s made, not on any order, the last thing he has left of this man, this great man, this loved man, this good man.

And the man, with hair like the sun and eyes like the sky, smiles like he’s never seen. Smiles a smile full of peace, of love.

”Thank you, Levi.”

His voice stirs something in him, a precious memory awakening. He feels himself kneeling in the dirt.

’I’ll follow you, Erwin Smith. Even if you lead me to hell, I won’t regret. Ever.’

Erwin Smith.

Erwin Smith.

Erwin Smith.

Erwin.

After everything, all his memories come back with frightening clarity. He remembers everything. Everything about Erwin Smith.

’I- I kept my promise, Erwin. And I’ll keep this one. I’ll find you. I’ll find you, whatever it takes. You’ll not be lost to me again.’

But where to start? Why does no one remember Erwin? And why do others forget him? Why is he the only one who remembers?

Where did Hange go, anyway?

He leaves the house, breathes in the air. And spots Hange covered in mud, running towards him. She ignores him completely and runs into the house. Mike, Nanaba and Eren follow her, all looking puzzled beyond belief. Levi can relate.

”Hey Levi, what’s going on? Why did Hange call us all here?” Nanaba doesn’t look too pleased at being summoned here at this weird ass time. Levi would answer if he knew what Four-eyes is up to. For better or worse, he doesn’t either. “No idea.”

He wonders if he should even bother telling them what they’re forgetting. Though it might just be useless to waste his breath if they’re going to forget it the second. He doesn’t get time to decide, because Hange rushes out and grabs his arm with her filthy hands. He grimaces and ties to pull away, but Hange is pulling him over to her horse. “Come on, everyone, we have to go! No time to waste, hurry up! Mike, get your horse and let’s go!” She crows the words and Levi resigns himself to being dragged around. “Where are we going, Four-eyes?” Hange tuts. “No time to explain. You’ll see!”

He’s only just gotten on the horse when it starts moving. He grabs Hange and wonders where they’re going. Mike and the others are following closely behind, he can tell.

From what he can tell, they’re just heading deeper into the forest, where the big-ass trees are getting even bigger. And taller. And there’s way less light.

It makes it difficult to see, but Hange seems to know exactly where she’s headed, like she’s been here many times before. Maybe Four-eyes has been keeping some dangerous creature there as a pet. Something that’s related to this whole shitty situation.

Anything that could make him forget Erwin was not something he was keen on seeing, not unless he could force it to make everyone else remember too. He’d given up so much. He deserved to be remembered, not forgotten. And he deserved to be here more than anyone.

And he would find him. Bring him back.

He’s brought out of his thoughts when the horse comes to a stop. They all dismount, everyone looking around in curiosity.

Hange has brought them to a clearing. A pretty one, he thinks. There’s a stream flowing through it, and the whole place is illuminated by a single ray of light that filters through the trees. He looks up towards it, then stops in surprise.

They’re in front of the tallest tree he’s ever seen. It stretches high above the rest of the trees, towers over them like the titans used to tower over them. Its intimidating. The rest of them stare at its base, where there’s some sort of chasm. It looks big enough for a person to live in. Maybe its one of Hange’s weird friends.

Eren flinches harshly, and all heads turn to him. The brat’s face is white as hell. He looks like a sheet of paper. When Levi is just about to point that out, the brat points towards the cave, fingers trembling like leaves in the wind. Levi turns back, and he can see why the brat is trembling.

A young girl steps out of the cave, blonde hair falling over her shoulders, covering her eyes. She reaches up to brush them out of her face, and sweeps her gaze over their little group.

The Founder. Ymir Fritz.

No one speaks. No one even breathes. Birds screech in the air. The wind blows and they can hear it blowing. Time seems to stop. He feels both too acutely aware of and far removed from the situation. The moment feels surreal.

”Hello Ymir, how are you doing?”

Hange waves brightly, and the moment is broken. And yet, he feels shock. This is the mother of all Eldians that she’s addressing so casually. The one at the centre of their 2000 years of pain and suffering at the titans’ hands. And Hange’s addressing that same person as though they were close friends.

And what’s worse, he thinks, is that the founder waves back, smiling serenely. Her gaze lands on Eren, and she smiles a bit wider, more fondly. Eren doesn’t smile back, instead looking away. Ymir addresses him.

Hello, Eren. Its very good to see you after so long. I hope you’ve been well.

Her voice is soft as silk, and still so loud. It sounds almost ethereal.

Eren nods, white as a sheet still. Ymir’s smile grows. And then her eyes land on him, and her smile becomes a grin.

Levi has been taught all his life to conceal his emotions, to not react to any situation in a way that could allow his enemies to take advantage of the situation. He has perfected his expressions, schooled his features into indifference. He’s always prepared for anything, always ready to act and react, without displaying shock or surprise.

And yet, when the founder turns her grin on him, he recoils in shock, taking a couple of steps back. To her credit, she seems to have expected this particular reaction from him, and starts approaching him. He has to force himself to stand still and not back off and run like he really feels like doing.

So, you’re Levi, huh? I’ve heard a lot about you.

”Oh?”

Yes. Hange here has told me quite a lot about you. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.

All he does is stay quiet. Hange is grinning about something. Four-eyes probably thinks this is funny. Well, he isn’t finding it funny at all.

Ymir frowns. I thought you’d have more to say. You always made me laugh when I watched you.

”What?”

Ymir cocks her head to the side. You were so funny. I liked your jokes.

This…isn’t what he thought he’d ever hear if he ever met the founder. ’What is she on about? She’s like a brat.’

Looking at her more closely, he can see that Ymir Fritz is still in fact, a little brat. A bratty founder, but still a brat. No wonder she got along with Eren. The thought that Ymir is still a little girl who by all logic shouldn’t be any more than a normal human here does help him relax.

’She’s just a kid. Its alright.’

”I never made jokes.” You did. And they were amusing.

He doesn’t know what to say to that. This whole situation is beyond awkward.

You know, you are quite dear to me, Levi. That throws him for a loop. ’What?’

Ymir’s smile softens. You and your relative, Mikasa. You both are people I hold close to my heart.

He can understand why she would like Mikasa. After all, Mikasa had been the one to save her from her fate, whatever that meant. Apparently they’d spoken for a few seconds. But him? He’d never even seen her before. So why…

The Ackerman clan receives its strength through the love for a liege. When a member of your clan fights in the name of a liege, they can unleash unspeakable amounts of strength. It is an effect of the misguided love I felt for Fritz, a source for the powers of the Ackerman. If they chose to love someone, they could fight in their name as I did for Fritz. But it was entirely of their free will, a difference from my predicament.

I watched you through her eyes. I’ve been watching every member of your clan, waiting for the person who would free me from my slavery at the hands of Fritz. I chose Mikasa as that person. I watched the world through her eyes, and I saw what she saw. I saw how much you loved someone, and I saw you let that person go. I watched you let him die.

I required someone to show me the way. And someone to release me from the parasite that had bound itself to me. Once I came in contact with Eren, he bore the parasite by virtue of possessing the Founding Titan. And then it was Mikasa who would kill the one she loved, and free me from my eternal chains. But I did come to see that it was not just she who had given up the person she loved in this world. You did the same. You were just like her. Ending the life of the one person you loved more than anything else…I saw myself in you just as I did her. Just as I did in the other Ackerman.

In the end, it was Eren who possessed the parasite, and only Mikasa could stop him. I had seen that it was she who would end him in my visions of the future. But perhaps if things had gone differently and it was your liege who had reached me with the founder in hand, I would have chosen you. And for that, I am quite fond of you.

It is in this love for you that I am willing to assist you in your quest to reunite with your beloved once more. You are a good man, Levi Ackerman. Through your life you have done everything you could for everyone but yourself. I will do this for you.

She’d…she’d help him. Help him find Erwin?

”Do you know where he is?”

I do.

She knew. She knew where he was. She could help him find Erwin.

”Who’s Erwin? And how do you know where he is?”

He remembers that he is not alone with Ymir here. Eren has regained a significant amount of colour, and is looking at Ymir with a curious look in his eyes. He looks at Mike and Nanaba. They are whispering between themselves, pained looks on their faces. Hange looks at Ymir, and looks towards the clearing when their eyes meet, expression quizzical.

I may not be of the living any longer, and certainly I do not still possess the power of the titans. But I am far from what you might call normal.

As is life, death too is a plane of existence, where we can be found. The parasite I referred to is one such creature that can traverse the planes at will. It can transcend time and space, and move between life and death. It has no consciousness, however, and seeks a living host with whom it can establish a bond. I chanced upon it.

The parasite is nothing more than a symbiote, unremarkable on its own, but powerful in the hands of another. With its power, I was able to create a separate plane of existence for all my children, where they went upon death. And after being bonded to the symbiote for 2000 years, I have retained some of its powers.

When I first came here, the place was full of nothingness. It was very much a dark place where dead souls would simply exist. I desired to give my children better, to give them happiness after the world of anguish they had experienced. I created everything in this world. The sky, the sun, the stars, the ocean…they are all from me. My creations, just as I created the realm of Paths so long ago. As long as I am here, it will not fade. And I will never cease to exist here. Our souls have come here, and they will never leave this place.

I desired for my children to be happy. And I desired for you to be happy as well, Eren. You are the one who showed me freedom alongside Mikasa. I wanted you to be content and happy here. I wiped the memories of the Rumbling from the minds of those who were killed in its wake. They have no recollection of it. I imagine that this would not be what you wanted, but it is something I wanted to do for you. I forwent erasing its memory from the minds of those you knew, but most people here do not remember.

Eren trembles in place, but makes no noise. Levi feels very much the same way. The moment seems so surreal once again. They are hearing the secrets of the world. Every sound seems hushed, muted as though the world is pleading with them to keep its secret. Ymir seems to glow in the light.

Only Hange seems unfazed. Almost like she knew all this before…

”You knew about this, didn’t you.”

Hange looks at him. “Yeah. I found Ymir here when I was exploring. I told her I’d keep her existence a secret.”

Ymir smiles. Hange has been keeping me company for a very long time. She looks at him once more. She’s told me quite a lot of things about you. And I have told her many things. I have told her everything.

”That’s how you knew.” Mike says it calmly, not betraying the emotion that is so clearly visible on his face. “You knew everything.”

”Not quite. I still knew nothing about this lover of Levi’s whom we’re all forgetting. He must have been important to all of us. So, why did we forget? And why didn’t you help us remember?” There’s a lack of accusation in Hange’s voice, only curiosity filling it.

Powerful as I may be here, I still do not have command over the planes of existence. And aside from life or death, there is a third plane. Though it is more of a void than a plane. It is where the souls are given direction, where the decision of whether or not they pass is taken. But, there may be some souls who do not pass from there, souls who remain adrift, trapped forever in the void, forgotten by those who pass onto the release of death.

And as for the man you seek, he is someone dear to you all. She takes his hand and closes her eyes. Tell them yourself, Levi. Tell them his name.

Mike and Nanaba look at him, determination in their gazes. Eren looks confused, but curious. Hange looks understanding, and grasps his shoulder.

”His name is Erwin. Erwin Smith.”

”How could we forget him?” Hange mutters, eyes glaring at nothing.

Saying his name has brought a rush of memories back to him all at once. He feels every emotion he has ever felt with Erwin by his side. The loss of Furlan and Isabel. The countless deaths. The anger he’d felt when he heard the jeers Erwin had to endure as Commander. Erwin’s death. All the pain.

How could they have forgotten him?

It is because he is still trapped in Purgatory. Ymir looks around at them all. Mike and Nanaba’s faces are pinched and drawn. Eren looks angry and confused as ever. “What do you mean?”

He has not passed from there. He remains adrift in limbo, his soul restless and lost. Soon, it may vanish forever, may pass out of existence. His soul will cease to exist once he is completely forgotten by those who inhabit the realm of the living.

In the case of your friend, he is very much fit to enter this world. But, I sense that there is something that holds him back, preventing him from entering this realm. And that is himself. He is preventing himself from leaving that void. For what purpose, I do not know.

Nanaba speaks, her voice shaky. “What, you saying he wants to be there?” Precisely. “But, why?” That is something only you may know. I have never known of anyone to hold themselves back from passing all these years.

”How do we find him?” Mike speaks again, face full of determination. One must travel to Purgatory to retrieve him. Nanaba blinks. “Well, that was surprisingly straightforward. So how do we get there?”

It is not quite as easy. The path to Purgatory is full of peril. One feature of the place is that it is where you are judged to pass on. If one goes back, they may not be allowed to pass once more. And…it is a void beneath the afterlife. The journey will take someone exceptionally strong of mind.

”Well, that’s not a problem. You guys are all strong of mind.” Eren points at them eagerly. “You’re all the bravest people I’ve ever seen!” Nanaba frowns. “But it would mean that we wouldn’t have a high chance of…coming back here, right?” Yes, that is true.

Nanaba and Mike squeeze each other’s hands, while Hange looks around. As for him, he’s already made the decision. “I’m going. I’ll bring him back.”

All heads turn to him. Ymir smiles. I knew you would say that. So it has been decided.

Hange starts. “What do you mean, decided? You mean we can’t go?” I’m afraid the path to Purgatory is already one that is very difficult to traverse. Having more than one person go could complicate things. I do not know if I have the power to open the path to more than one person either. I’m afraid its just one.

”I don’t care. I’m going. I’m going to get that asshole back myself.” He shouldn’t be this selfish, he thinks. Erwin is their friend too. But he can’t bring himself to be magnanimous. He’s been waiting years. Years, just thinking about when he’d find him again. Years, with the sound of his name being the only thing that he could keep of him, and the memories of their time together the only solace in a world that he had never understood, even in the end.

He can’t- won’t- wait another damn minute longer. He’ll go get him himself.

I see that you have decided. A good choice, for you to be the one to go. It seems it will take someone very close to him to break him free from whatever he has done to himself.

The path to Purgatory is not one that anyone can traverse. While travelling to it, you will be consumed by your regrets, all your pains, all your fears. They will pull at you, rend your soul to shreds. It will be unlike anything you have ever experienced. As the afterlife is full of the joys of life, all the despair is suffered on the way from Purgatory to sanctuary, and is forgotten upon arrival here. You may be trapped in the path itself, if you are unable to move forward. You will drown in your regrets and remain in the void, unfeeling and lost. Eventually you will vanish, as though you never existed. Knowing this, will you still choose to pass back?

He doesn’t need to think. “Yes. I’m going.”

Nanaba steps forward. “And we really can’t go with you?” No.

There’s a crash as Moblit rushes into the clearing, 3DMG in hand. “ Hange, why did you tell me to- what’s going on here? And is that-“ “We’ll…explain later.”

Hange takes the gear from Moblit and gives it to him. “I think you’ll need this.” He nods and starts strapping himself up with the gear, enjoying its weight on him once more. It makes him feel more confident. He’s done a lot with this gear. And he’ll use it well to find Erwin.

Hange wraps him in a hug. “Be safe, Levi. Come back with that dumbass in tow. I know you can do it.” “Tch. Cut out the crap, Four-eyes, it’ll be fine. I’ve lived through the worst before this.” Hange laughs.

Ymir reaches for Eren. For no reason, Levi glances back at Moblit, to whom Hange is whispering furiously. His eyes widen in sudden realisation. He looks to Levi, and gives him a shaky thumbs up, a wobbling smile in place. He knows that Moblit is going to have a few drinks after this. It almost makes him smile.

Ymir grabs Eren, and the boy yelps in surprise. Do not fear, Eren. I have a need for the miniscule amount of power you retained upon your connection with the founder. You will be safe, so do not fear. Eren’s eyes clear, and he steps forward resolutely. “Good luck, Captain.” Levi nods at him.

Mike steps forward to stand next to Nanaba. “Bring him back.” Nanaba smiles at him. “Good luck.” He nods at them too. Ymir glances upwards. It is time. She closes her eyes. Eren winces when her grip tightens on his own.

He thinks of what could happen. Lost, alone and empty, drifting in nothingness, losing everything he’s gained once again, all at once. It’s a prospect that makes him feel nervous. But he feels hope. The hope he had felt whenever he’d looked at Erwin Smith, the one who led them all to victory all that time ago.

She raises her other hand, and lightning flashes, and falls from the sky, heading towards him. He watches it head straight for him, and as is vision is engulfed in bright, white light, he thinks only one thought.

’I’m coming for you, Erwin. Just you wait. I’ll get you back, I promise.’

When the brightness fades, he finds himself in some strange new place. He’s floating, surrounded by nothing but some bizarre sky in hues of pink, with a bunch of rocks floating around. He wonders if this is what its like to be a bird. He doesn’t feel like a bird though, he feels like he’s swimming.

He shoots his gear, hooks catching on one of the floating rocks, and propels himself forward. There’s already a bright, white light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, and he heads towards it. ’This is isn’t so hard.’ But he isn’t going to let his guard down.

He heads deeper and deeper, but the light doesn’t seem to get any closer. He’s starting to get impatient. Why can’t he get closer?

Maybe someone more useful than you could have done it, you know.

He winces at the voice that sounds just like him, and tells it to shut the fuck up.

But I’m right, aren’t I? Really, what have you done that has been of any worth?

He ignores it.

You let all your comrades die. What was the point of being so strong if you couldn’t save them? And then you lived selfishly, in the place from where the people responsible for the demise of all the people you ever cared about lived. And you think you deserve this?

Ah, this must be the resistance he’s facing. All his regrets, his worst thoughts. Its not pulling any punches at all. Going straight for the kill. He collects the thoughts that are bubbling in his head and stuffs them at the back of his mind. ’Focus. Don’t stop.’

Look at you, the voice purrs. You’re so lacking in the graces that you wanted to be useful to people. And didn’t that go so nicely? You let everyone get eaten, even though you tried your hardest to please them. It says something about how useful you are to them. Not at all.

’Don’t stop. It isn’t true.’

He’d never done anything to please anyone. He shoots another line. Pushes forward.

Perhaps its better to say that it was you who let them die. Why you even killed some of them with your own hands! Can’t you see the blood on your hands, Levi?

In some state of curiosity, he looks down at his hands. They’re covered in blood. He recoils. “But how did-“

Its so disgusting, isn’t it? You’re covered in filth. Mud, dirt, ash. Its not clean. Its dirty. Its like a disease. Like the one your mom died from, isn’t it?

That right…she died because you were too poor to afford anything better. She was too weak to recover. She kept giving all her food to you instead, and suffered herself. People didn’t want her cause she had a brat. You didn’t keep the place clean enough for her. She cried every night, didn’t she? It was because of you. She died because of you, Levi. She died because you were born.

The weathered, rotten corpse of his mother flashes in front of his eyes. Hanging like a doll, her mouth moves.

”You let me die, Levi…you were nothing more than a mistake…a mistake that cost me…its all your fault…I wish I had never had you…

He can’t help it. It hurts. It looks just like her…

But it isn’t. It isn’t his mom. Just a lookalike, a fake, a clone. His mom loves him. She does.

But what if she doesn’t? Who would love a bastard like you? Son of a whore that you are.

She loves him. She does. She does.

’I know it lies. Its lying. Mom loves me. Keep going.’

”You’re lying.”

He pulls out a blade, and slashes. The clone disappears with a hiss, only steam in its place. He breathes in deeply, and fires again.

So you keep deluding yourself. But she died, didn’t she? She died because she had to take care of the both of you. And it wasn’t just her, was it? What about your friends? You killed them, didn’t you? Didn’t you?

The sky of pink turns darker, as though eyes are watching him from all over. Isabel’s head materialises in front of him, eyes wide open and mouth agape. Furlan’s body hangs over her head, his lower half missing.

Levi is suddenly covered in blood.

You killed us, Levi. Your desire for revenge…your damned pride…you let us die…

Isabel’s head sheds a tear. Why’d you let us die, big bro?

He’s covered in blood. He feels cold. He feels wet.

’Its not real.’

You’re like a curse, aren’t you? Everyone around you is doomed to die a miserable death. And its all on you. Its all your fault.

”No, no, I-“

Furlan looks at him, eyes cold and unfeeling, glittering with disappointment. I trusted you, Levi. I thought you’d save me. You killed me. You were too proud, and you let it destroy me. Why?

”No, I didn’t…it was the titans.”

Did they really? Or is it just an excuse? To cover up your failure, your pathetic failure.

’Yeah…my own damned pride is to blame…’

’No, it was the titans! They did this. They did this. They did this…’

’Argh, fuck off!’

He slashes at the head, and it vanishes. But the blood doesn’t. It stays.

Wow, you really are pathetic, aren’t you? Guess that’s to be expected, given your height. You look so useless. I can see why people would leave you. You’re so pathetic.

His head whips to the side as a fist cracks him on the face. The pain blinds him for a second. The hook pulls taut and Levi is propelled forward, right into someone’s hands.

There’s a firm grasp on his shoulders, which anchors him. Though the grip turns painful after a second and Levi has to break free. He brings his leg up and kicks the person as hard as he can. He hears a grunt, and breaks away. And finds himself looking into the sneering face of Kenny Ackerman.

Oi, oi, what’re ya tryin’ to pull, huh? After all I’ve done for ya, runt.

He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to take Kenny on here. He can move away quickly, move past him. Kenny doesn’t have his gear on him, though he might have a few blades. Levi has no weapon on him, no weapon except his wits and his 3DMG.

I thought I’d taught ya well. Though ya never delivered, did ya? I knew I’d done right by leaving, you would’ve only held me down. Thought you were real smart, didn’t you. Thought you’d gotten away. Well, you ended up a slave to your power all the same, and I bet ya thought you were a hero! Didn’t save anyone, did you? It’s a damn shame I’m related to a dirty little runt like you.

Don’t you see? You’re really worth nothing. Nothing at all. You helped no one. All you did was let them die.

”Liar. You bastard, Kenny. Get the hell away from me.”

Kenny dodges the slash of his blades. I’m right, runt. You know I am.

Other faces appear in the corners of his eyes. Scores of people, his comrades. The air around him turns thicker. His vision starts to swim. His ears are ringing.

He feels like he’s drowning.

Why didn’t you save us, Levi?

”I didn’t- I tried-“

You didn’t try hard enough.

”I did, I did try.”

I thought you cared about us, Levi.

”I did, I do-“

But you didn’t save us. You let us die.

He can see so many faces. His squad, bodies ripped apart. Mike and Nanaba, their bodies in shreds. Hange, her body burnt beyond repair, eyes glistening with tears and hatred.

Her voice is harsh, and cuts through him like a knife. Do you know what you did to me, Levi?

You gave me an impossible job. You made a selfish choice, and forced me alone to deal with the consequences. You blew yourself up, and you forced me to keep fighting on. You let me run to my death on a whim. What sort of friend are you, Levi?

”I-“

It burned, Levi. I burned. I bled. I died. And you didn’t even look.

Why would we ever love someone like you? What made you think that anything you did could ever make up for all the pain you’ve caused us? What lies have you been feeding yourself?

He can see the figures of Armin, of Mikasa, Jean, Connie, Gabi, Falco…

You left us alone, Captain. You left us all alone down there. What gives you the right to regain everyone you’ve lost, when their deaths are all on you?

Armin looks at him. Why did you bring me back? Its because you wanted me to suffer, right? Am I right?

”No, that wasn’t why…”

You set down our dreams on the carcass of a broken world. You destroyed the one hope we had for our people. You are not one of us.

”You wouldn’t have wanted-“

And what do you know of us, other than to watch us die?

We hate you, Levi. We despise you.

”No, no-“

He’s crying, he can feel it. He feels like he’s choking. He can barely breathe.

’Its not true, they’re lying, it’s a lie, it’s a lie, they’re lying…’

No, You are lying.

Useless.

Pathetic.

We hate you, Levi.

”No, no, don’t leave, don’t, don’t…”

Levi.

There’s a hole of light ahead of him. He can’t see it anymore. ’Its…so dark here.’

Levi.

He knows that voice anywhere.

You told me to die.

All I wanted was to see the basement. It was my dream, and you took it away from me. You were selfish. You were cruel. You’ve hurt me terribly, Levi.

”No, no, Erwin, that isn’t what I-“

You failed to protect me. You failed to avenge me. You didn’t fulfil my last order. You were ready to give it up, you were ready to fail. That displeases me.

”I didn’t give it up. I killed him. I did.”

He came to you, did he not. Did you not work with him, knowing that he had killed me? Were our deaths so meaningless to you, Levi?

”No, I never thought that-“

Since the day we first met, I have been wary of you. You were truly an unfeeling, uncaring demon. I cannot fathom how you ever thought that I cared about you. You are nothing more than a tool to me, an asset. I knew that you hadn’t changed. And you killed me, in the end. Was it gratifying? Don’t you regret it?

”…No.”

Erwin’s countenance hisses, features contorting into something vile, something monstrous, something so unlike Erwin. Then I hate you.

Useless.

Then suffer. Feel our pain.

Pathetic.

Regret.

Their voices wash over him. He feels like he’s on fire, burning him mind and body. He can’t breathe, he can’t see. He’s dying. He’s dying.

Someone is screaming.

His head hurts.

He’s screaming.

Yes…you deserve this…you deserve all of this…

’Yes, I deserve this, this is fair, they are right….it hurts, it hurts…’

But you deserve this.

’…Yes…’

You don’t deserve to go back to them. You should stay. It is what you deserve.

’No…I can’t, please, don’t leave…’

You don’t deserve to go back to them.

’No…I don’t…’

Then stay here…the pain will all go away…

It will all…go away.

The pain fades.

Make it all stop…

The void becomes darker. The light is disappearing.

Forget about them…embrace the darkness…remain lost…end it all…

Yes…stop it all…he deserves it, after all…

No.

”You’re lying.”

No. You’re lying. You’ve been lying all this time. To yourself. Deluding yourself, thinking that anything you have done is anything better than ruin. You deserve nothing.

”I’m not going to fall for that bullshit again. Did you think that I wouldn’t know my comrades? Well, I do. And these aren’t them. They would never say shit like this. These aren’t my comrades, these are fucking jokes.”

”My comrades would never condone the slaughter of humanity. They would never blame their deaths on me. They are brave and are strong. They devoted their hearts. And so did I.”

Another lie you’ve been telling yourself! You are useless-

”Don’t involve me in your shitty drama. I’ve got places to be.”

You are lying! They lied! You must remain!

”Whatever you say. But I’m done here.”

And for what will you go? The man who you seek, he hates you. You’ve caused him nothing but pain, taken everything away-

”I freed him from hell. I let him die a man instead of a monster.”

”Thank you, Levi.”

”I’ll never regret that.”

Never.

And he strikes. Swings his blades and cuts away the poor imitations, the false clones of his friends. They vanish in a puff of steam. And he moves towards the light.

Stop!

’I won’t stop. I said I’d get him. I said I find him.’

’I promised him!’

And he’ll keep the promise. He’ll find him again.

Stop!

He’ll keep moving forward. Keep fighting. Until he finds him once more.

He cuts through the air. Breaks away from the force trying to trap him in place. Reaches for the light.

No!

’I’ll find you soon, Erwin. I’m coming.’

A feeling of calming numbness envelops his mind. He feels the pain in his head disappear.

’I’ll get you back. I promise.’

The darkness vanishes, and Levi can see nothing but light.

When the light fades, Levi can see only darkness. Eerie, pitch black. There’s not a single sound.

’Is this nothingness?’

Its frightening. It’s a number of steps beyond having lost all your senses. He can’t even hear his heart.

Why would anyone willingly stay in a place like this?

Is this even Purgatory?

”Erwin!

No answer. He takes a few steps forward. Cups his hands around his mouth. “Erwin!”

Nothing.

And he can’t see shit either.

”Erwin Smith!”

Nothing.

”Commander Erwin!”

No response.

”Blondie!”

”Eyebrows!”

Nothing.

”Where the hell are you, asshole?”

”Levi?”

That voice…that is…

Its him. It has to be.

He turns quickly. He can’t wait to see- it is. Its him. Finally. Finally.

’I found you at last.’

’Erwin.’

“Levi?” Erwin looks shocked. “But why- how- how did you-“

”I came to find you, dumbass. What else?”

Erwin looks startled. “But you passed. I saw you move on. How did you come here? I thought no one could travel the path back to this place without losing their mind.”

He can’t recall any of that. “Well, I guess I did, since I’m here. The better question is, why the hell are you still here?”

Erwin’s eyes, bright like the shining sea, so deep you could drown in their depths, lose their shine. “Because it is what I deserve.”

Levi stands. He blinks. And then he feels rage.

”What? Why the hell would you think that?”

Erwin meets is gaze with steely, stubborn determination, the sight of which had once filled him with such awe. Now, he just hates it. “Because it is true.”

”No. No, it isn’t. What makes you think of such shit?”

”Its quite obvious.” “Well, enlighten me them, cause I don’t see it.”

”You told me to ‘give up on my dreams and die’. I died. I died as I led so many of my friends to their deaths, so many children to their doom. I did it for myself, for the sake of my childhood dream. And then, you were too kind to me. You let me pass. I should have been brought back to suffer. I sent so many to their deaths selfishly. It was only fair that I suffer the consequences, the appropriate punishment. Therefore, I stayed behind. I kept myself back. My comrades deserve to live in a world where they do not have to look at the face of the man who selfishly killed them for a dream that he did not even achieve in the end. They deserve to live happily.”

”I…I don’t know what to say…except…that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my goddamn life and beyond.”

Erwin stares at him, eyes flashing angrily. “I’m sorry?”

”You heard me. You think you’re some fucking martyr? That you’re doing us all some sort of favour by staying in this…this hell?” “Yes, I do. It is what I deserve.”

”No, it fucking isn’t. You did what you had to, your actions benefitted humanity. You were the one to take us so far! You gave up your dreams to do what was best for humanity in the end! Erwin, you deserve to be up there with the rest of us! We want you to be there. They know about your motivations now. They don’t care! We all want you there, so come on!”

”You don’t understand, Levi. It isn’t that simple.” “Then help me understand!” Erwin shakes his head, and turns away.

The fucking nerve! How dare he, after everything…

”Then I’m staying here too.”

Erwin whips around. “What?”

”You heard me.”

”Levi…but why? You deserve to be up there! You shouldn’t have come here in the first place!”

”Tch. If you don’t deserve to go up there, then neither do I.”

Erwin’s features change from shock to anger. “What is this, Levi?”

”If you deserve to be here, then so do I. I was the one who carried out all your heartless plans, after all. I’ve hurt my comrades badly too. They must hate my face.”

Erwin scoffs. “That’s quite unlikely, Levi. No one could hate you.” The compliment takes him by surprise. He can feel the heat rush to his face. “I can name a few who do.”

Erwin laughs. The sound fills him with warmth, even in a cold, dark place like this. He looks like he’s shining, like he’s the fucking sun itself.

”If they don’t hate me, they won’t hate you either. So come with me.”

”Forgive me Levi, but the answer is still no. Now, please return to our friends.”

”Fuck you, I’m not going without you!”

”Levi, will you stop behaving like a petulant child?”

”I’m not the one who’s whining and talking shit.”

Erwin growls. Levi stares back defiantly.

They stay like that, for a long time.

Then Erwin’s eyes soften. “This takes me back to when you’d first joined the corps.”

”Oh?” “You disrespected me quite a bit back then. We’d do this for ages.” “It wasn’t that bad.” “I suppose it wasn’t. I do like to think it was though, just to admire how far we’ve come since then.”

”Mm.” They say nothing. Then Levi ventures. “It could- we could do that again, you know. If you came back with me-“

”No, Levi. I deserve this. I must pay my dues.”

Anger boils in his stomach. Which turns to desperation. “Why? You gave your life for humanity! What dues do you still have to pay? Goddamnit, Erwin!”

Erwin shakes his head, left arm coming to grasp the stump on his right. “Its not enough.”

”…You know what? You don’t get to decide that. We do.” “What?”

We’re the ones who suffered through everything you put us through. We decide how much ‘dues’ you need to pay us. And we’re done. We don’t want anymore. We just want to see you again. So come with me.”

”I do not deserve it. I do not deserve happiness in that world. This is where I must be.”

Levi shakes his head, eyes burning. But before he can say anything, Erwin runs his tongue. “I think that it is just you who wants me there, isn’t it? You would prioritize me over all our comrades’ happiness, am I wrong?”

Levi can’t believe it. Is he really…”You bastard! What are you trying to say?”

Erwin glares at him. “You heard me.”

He moves before he knows. His fist connects with Erwin’s face. Erwin falls to the ground.

Levi stands above him, fist clenched, panting.

Levi should go. If he were someone else, he would have given up, given into the taunts, and let Erwin pout in his little world of darkness. But Levi is Levi, and he’d made a promise. He’ll fulfil it, no matter what.

”This isn’t going to stop me from trying to bring you back.”

Erwin had clearly not been expecting him to remain. “But…why?”

”Because I promised to find you and bring you back. I promised you. And I’ll keep every promise I’ve made to you, whether you like it or not.”

And he means it. He'd chosen to follow Erwin to hell without regrets, all that time ago. And he's done it too. He's come all this way. He'd promised. He's going to keep his word.

Erwin looks at the ground, eyes wide. “…Why?”

”Why would you want me?”

Levi is prepared to scoff derisively, but the lost, sad look on Erwin’s face makes him pause. “What do you mean?”

Erwin looks at him, and Levi starts. He’s never seen Erwin look so…pathetic, really. He looks sad and horrified and so lost at the same time. It breaks his heart.

”After everything I’ve done to you, why would you come all this way?”

”Tch. You didn’t do anything. Every single soldier out there chose to follow you. They put their faith in you, and they were prepared to die. They followed the orders willingly-“

”I was referring to you.”

He stops. “What about me?”

”After all I’ve done to you…how can you want me to be happy ever again?”

”What the hell are you on about? Why wouldn’t I want you to be happy?”

”Because I’ve ruined you!” Erwin yells, and Levi steps back in sheer shock. His voice seems to almost echo around the nothingness. Levi tentatively raises his hand. “Erwin-“

”I took away your friends, forced you into this horrible war, and had you suffer so much! You did so many things in my name, you lost everyone! It is my fault that you had to endure all that pain! How can you want me around after all that?” Erwin stands, moving away from his raised hand. “I believed that you would hate me after everything I put you through for my own sake. You deserve to be happy more than anyone I know, Levi. You don’t deserve to be stuck in a world with me in it as well.”

Levi lets his hand drop back to his side. Erwin bows, eyes closed. The air feels tense around them. The silence is defeaning.

”But I want to be with you anyway.”

Erwin looks up sharply. Levi’s eyes sting. “You hear me? I don’t care what you did, or what you think you did. You forced me to do jack shit. I chose to follow you by myself. If you recall correctly, I had you at my mercy, my blade was at your neck. I chose not to kill you right then. And I chose to follow you too.”

”But…why?”

”Because I wanted to see what was outside the walls. I wanted to breathe the air, see the sun. And then when the novelty wore off, I wanted to help humanity. I wanted to use my strength to help humanity, to honour the sacrifices of my comrades. And following you was the way. You were looking at something I couldn’t see. I wanted to understand it. We were two people with similar goals. We could help each other.”

”And…you were always there for me. You told me lots of shit, and…whatever lies you fed others, you never lied to me. You never lied to anyone else either. I…I got to know you well, better than others, and…I grew to care about you a lot, the more time we spent together.”

”And after all that time…you had a selfish dream. It was something I didn’t know about you, but…I still wanted to follow you. We needed you. Humanity needed you. And I…I knew we did. And I wanted to help you find your dream too. I wanted to keep you safe.”

”And in the end, what you needed was to give up on your dream. So I made the choice for you. And I didn’t bring you back, because I didn’t want you to suffer anymore. And yet here you are, suffering. Like a selfish bastard.”

”Levi…”

”I didn’t let you die so you could do this to yourself, damnit! I wanted you to be free! Not this! I didn’t go through all that, that- that whole life without you, without anyone, just so that you could leave yourself to rot here like shit!” His eyes burn, and he can feel tears coming to them. He stalks upto Erwin and grabs him by the collar. “You’re really a selfish asshole aren’t you! After everything I did for you to be happy, you go and pull this shit! You don’t get to do that! Not after- not after I-“

A tear falls from his eye down his face, yet he can’t bring himself to take his hands off Erwin. Erwin reaches up, and wipes the tear away. Levi watches his hand, as it wipes it away and stays on his cheek. “Please don’t cry, Levi. I can’t bear to see you cry.”

”Fuck you!” He howls. “You don’t get to ask for shit! Not after what you pulled right now!”

Erwin doesn’t listen. “I told you to do such heartless things, Levi. I saw how much you could help me achieve my goals. I picked you off the streets. I thought I could use your power and be done with it. But I didn’t expect to grow so attached to you. But you weren’t just another comrade like I’d hoped you would be. No, you became the person I trusted so deeply. The one person I trusted more than anything, the one person with whom I shared a goal at last. You amazed me, Levi. You listened to everything I had to say. You kept me company. I enjoyed your presence more than anything. You were so patient, so kind despite everything I put you through.”

”You were a humanizing presence in my life. Perhaps I could say that you kept me human, instead of becoming a true devil. You tempered me, Levi. You kept me aware of the sacrifices of my soldiers. You bore my burdens as well. I- You’ve truly spoiled me, Levi. I did not think I would ever grow to care about anyone as I did you. It pained me greatly to see all that you endured for my sake. I thought you would have had me return to the world. But you set me free. Why?”

”I- you idiot. Stupid, piece of shit.” He feels himself trembling. He drops Erwin to the ground and sinks down on it himself.

”I wanted to stop your pain, end your suffering, like I said. You- you gave me a purpose when I lost everything. You gave me something to fight for. And you treated me like an equal, like I was worth something. For the first time, someone had so much faith in me, and for the first time, I trusted someone else so much. You were there for me too. I saw that you were so kind, and you treated me like no one had before. You meant everything to me. I chose to follow you. I would have followed you anywhere, even to hell. And I would have regretted nothing. I still don’t.”

He breathes, calms his mind. To hell with everything, he thinks.

”I love you, Erwin Smith. I always have, and I always will.”

He looks down at his feet. He’s said it. And now-

Erwin’s hand finds his cheek, and cups it. He brings his face up so that their eyes meet. Erwin smiles, warm and happy, the sort of smile Levi’s always longed to see, the smile that has plagued his memories for so long, so much that he never forgot it, even though he forgot much of Erwin’s features.

”I love you too, Levi. Almost too much. I always have. After everything, I allowed myself to fall in love with you. This, this makes me so happy.”

And he gathers Levi into his arms. It feels so natural, so normal. Erwin is warm, he’s so big, and he’s so unmistakeably Erwin. This feels like home, like the warmth of the sun, the coolness of the wind, all wrapped in one. Erwin’s one arm around him, enough to engulf him in its embrace, feels like a heaven in itself. He presses himself against Erwin’s chest. He’s thought what this would feel like for so long, yearned for this. And this is even better than he’s ever imagined.

He never wants to leave. He wants to be here forever.

”Levi.” Levi grunts in acknowledgement. “I want to be with you forever.”

Levi sighs. “Me too.”

”I want to keep seeing you for the rest of eternity.”

”Me too.”

”I want to see all my friends again, I want to see my father again. I want to see them all again. It has been literal hell here. I want to leave, Levi.”

Levi touches Erwin’s cheek, runs his hand through his hair. “Then come with me. I came to bring you back.”

”But…what if no one wants to see me? What if the sight of me only causes them pain?”

”Erwin. No one could ever feel pained by you. Everyone who died had a choice. They chose to fight and follow you. They chose to fight. And they all knew that whatever you did was essential to our victory. You’re their trusted comrade, their dear friend. Trust me, you’ll be fine.”

Erwin smiles again, a bit more melancholy. A tear drips down his face, and this time Levi wipes it away. “Then…I want to leave this place. I want to leave with you.”

Levi looks at him, sees the determination and longing in his eyes. He pulls himself out of the embrace gently, and stands. He holds out his hand to Erwin, the man he loves the most. “Then lets go.”

Erwin takes his hand, and Levi stares into the depths of his eyes, sees the vastness, the beauty of it. Erwin’s eyes are far deeper and far more precious than the sea, or the ocean, or even the stars themselves.

It isn’t any bit of a challenge to leave. Its like they know exactly what to do. They just have to wait, and let themselves go. And then they’ll be free, happy forever.

”Ready when you are, dumbass.” Erwin smiles again, and takes his hand.

”Then I am ready as well.”

Then, as the lighting falls from the sky, and their vision turns white once more, Erwin turns to him, and utters the three words he’s always cherished the most.

Levi smiles, as the both of them are swallowed by the light.

”Thank you, Levi.”

They reappear in another clearing, one that is definitely different from the one where he left. Levi realises that he is still in his gear, and therefore cannot be held properly. He starts to take it off. When he looks back up, Erwin is looking around in what is most definitely awe.

”Its…so beautiful…”

Levi says nothing, and just joins him. They watch the sight in front of them in silence. The water flows with soft splashing sounds. The sunlight flows in through the trees, illuminating the green grass, and passing over the smooth soil below their feet. The water in the stream sparkles beautifully. He notes that its almost sunset. The sky is full of hues of orange. The clearing is bathed in evening light. It looks beautiful.

”For so long…I’ve wanted this…”

Levi glances up to find Erwin crying. They don’t look like tears of sadness though. They look like tears of relief, happiness. Freedom.

Levi takes his hand. His right hand. “You deserve this, Erwin. After all the suffering you went through, you deserve to find this peace. I’m sure of that. Trust me.”

Erwin exhales shakily. “Yes…yes. I believe you. I believe you Levi.”

”I’ve always wanted to share a moment like this with you. I’ve wanted to do so many things with you. I’ve yearned for this for so long…and now…”

”And now we can.” “Yes. We can.”

And Erwin takes in him in his arms, holds him again. Levi can’t help the squeak that leaves his mouth as he’s hoisted off the ground bridal style. Its evident by the amused look in Erwin’s face that he’s been waiting to do this for a while. Its weird being carried in this way, its weird being carried at all, but it isn’t as bad as he thought. Probably cause its Erwin who’s doing the carrying.

Erwin, with his deep, beautiful eyes like stars, leans downwards. Levi wraps his arms around his neck, and moves upwards. Their lips meet in a gentle touch, light and sweet. Its everything. Once again, it feels like time stops, just for them. For what feels like an eternity, there is nobody but them in the world. Its just Erwin and him, sharing this moment for the first time, after so many years of waiting, of suffering.

They part after long last, and Erwin presses his forehead against his own. And they look into their eyes, and think the same thought, after everything.

Finally.

They stay like that for a long time, finding comfort in the intimate contact they’re sharing. Though at some point, they hear a rustling in the bushes. Erwin quickly sets Levi down, because for all the shit they like to do, the thought that others are watching is still weird as hell.

Hange bolts out of the bushes, and makes a bee-line for Erwin. She throws her arms around him and yells “Erwin! I missed you so much!” Erwin makes full use of the return of his right arm, and catches her easily. Hange is smiling like there’s no tomorrow, and it makes him happy to see his friends so happy.

Mike, Nanaba and Eren all troop out of the bushes, and Mike and Nanaba rush towards Erwin immediately. Hange steps aside just as Mike embraces Erwin, and Nanaba lays a hand on Erwin’s back. Erwin embraces him fondly, and the sight warms his heart.

Then Hange’s yelling at him. “Levi! You’re safe! You brought him back!”

Levi is then dragged into a group hug with the five of them. Mike is crying, and they’ve all never looked happier. They’ve never felt happier, he can tell. Because that’s how he feels. They’re all grinning, even him. And it comes easily.

After so long, all those long years of waiting, hoping to be able to see his friends at least just once, wondering if he’d ever see them again after the disappearance of Paths, he’s finally with all his friends once more. With Hange and Erwin’s arms around him, he thinks that he has never felt warmer.

After they’ve all separated, albeit begrudgingly, Erwin spots Eren lurking. He settles for giving a handshake to the brat, because it will take Erwin some time to warm up to him once more.

They all grin at each other when Erwin asks how they managed to get to where he had been. “That’s a question for Ymir Fritz, isn’t it Levi?” “That’s right.”

Erwin looks startled. “Ymir Fritz? The Founder?”

Hange shares a grin with him. There’s still a surprised look in everyone’s eyes when they see him grinning or smiling, but they’re quick to warm up to it. He doesn’t even try to hide his smiles or grins anymore. When he feels like it, he shows it. Its thrilling and nice to do, in a way. He doesn’t do it too often, but it’s a start.

Erwin’s return triggers the memories of him in everyone else, and they all flock to Levi’s new house. Erwin has already decided to put up there with him. When Erwin steps out for the first time, he’s assaulted by the sight of all his comrades yelling his praises.

”Took you long enough to get here, Commander!” “Welcome back, Erwin!” “You lead us well!” “We missed you, Erwin!”

Erwin offers a salute, which is copied by everyone else. Levi clenches the fist over his heart tighter, and feels stronger than ever, now that Erwin is here. Erwin holds up all day to meet so many of his friends, and cries in Levi’s arms that night. Levi understands the feeling. He wraps his arms around Erwin, and strokes his hair.

They search for Erwin’s father. And find him drinking tea in his mom’s tea shop. A tearful reunion between father and son follows. Mr. Smith hugs his son tightly and assures him that he is so, so proud of his son, while Erwin sobs into his father’s shoulder.

Levi is soon introduced to Mr. Smith, and Erwin to mom. They get their full blessing, which is something very important to them. His mom, he finds, is very taken with Erwin. “I’m glad you found yourself a man like Erwin.” She sighs. “Never let him go, Levi.” Levi doesn’t intend to.

Erwin finds Shadis again too, and Shadis really does cry this time. Erwin is wrapped in a bone-crunching hug which he returns with fervor. He meets Nile and Pixis again too. Pixis and Erwin greet each other warmly. Nile puts on his shitty tough guy act when he gives Erwin his embrace, but Levi can hear him sniffling. Erwin thinks its quite touching, Levi just thinks Nile crying is the funniest shit he's ever seen. He's not complaining though, not when it makes Erwin happy.

They find that they adjust to domestic life together easily. Levi already knows how to cook and clean, and he enjoys doing those things. Erwin helps out or they both just laze around. Erwin soon hears about a school for the kids here from his father, and decides after much cajoling that he’ll teach there as well.

Erwin discovers his love for ice-cream, and so they visit the shop every other day. Usually they walk around the beach, and watch the sea while Erwin tells him some old stories his father tells him. They pop around to visit Erwin’s father and his mom alternatively.

They have picnics on the beach often. Usually its just Erwin, Hange, Mike, Nanaba and him, but some other friends come by often. They have another gathering of the veteran corps, and get notoriously drunk. Levi enjoys watching his friends make absolute fool of themselves, and feels like smiling when he watches Erwin laugh boisterously as he sways on his feet as they watch Mike and Nanaba tearfully re enact some shitty love story.

At some point, Levi and Erwin return home to find Kenny sitting on their couch swinging a knife around. He stares Erwin down, and Erwin stares him down even though he’s drunk as hell. Kenny breaks off the contest and nods approvingly at Levi, before swiftly exiting through the window. Levi just closes the window as Erwin eyes the couch suspiciously.

Kenny invites himself into their house whenever he wants to. He comes once with Uri Reiss himself, who apparently invited himself along. He discovers that Uri likes tea too, and is decides that he is tolerable. He has a lot of good stories about Kenny, which is something that Levi makes use of very often, just to see Kenny squirm. Uri gets along with Erwin as well, which is a given, since both of them are old men.

”You’re almost as old as I am.” Erwin says. “But I’m still younger than you, old man.” Erwin doesn’t say anything else after that, and Levi revels in the fact that he has won an argument against Erwin Smith.

Hange pops up with her discoveries on the regular, and eats with them a few times, mostly when Moblit accompanies her. On one fine day she suggests that its time Erwin meets Ymir. Erwin is nervous throughout, but maintains his composure throughout. Of course, Ymir likes him too. Levi isn’t surprised. Everyone with any sort of sense would love Erwin.

”You’re just biased, Levi.” Erwin says when Levi relays this to him, and kisses the top of his head. Levi disagrees with his words, but agrees with the course of action.

They get a lot of visits from Isabel and Furlan. Levi isn't surprised when Furlan and Erwin get along well enough that you couldn't believe they'd ever been on opposing sides. Isabel takes to Erwin soon enough too, and Levi has never been happier about that.

There are these moments full of enjoyment, and then there are the quiet moments when its just them. Erwin usually sits on the couch reading some book, while petting Levi’s hair as he lays his head on Erwin’s lap, reclining on the couch. Erwin occasionally kisses his forehead, and then keeps reading. Levi just lies there and closes his eyes.

And during the nights, they lie on their bed together, arms around each other, finding warmth in each other’s embrace. Levi shuffles closer, feeling Erwin’s breath on his skin, and finally falls asleep for a time more than two hours.

The days pass by. It rains, the leaves change colour and fall, it snows. Erwin introduces him to the wonders of snowball fights. It proves to be a mistake when Levi proves to be quite adept at the game, and he and Hange team up to decimate their opponents. They sit around Mike and Nanaba’s fire that night drinking hot chocolate. It’s the most fun Levi’s ever had.

Once summer comes, they mess around with the 3DMG. Levi tries to teach them how to perform all the maneuvers he knows, and they play around for days. The brats join in on the game at some point. Levi never fails to find the sight of Eren and Sasha failing at properly navigating the moves funny.

His squad visits randomly with gifts in tow every single time. Erwin insists on hanging up every single piece of junk that Petra buys when she visits, and soon the house is a mess. Levi organises a house clean up and drags everyone into it.

And later that day, they all head outside to sit on the beach. Nanaba and Mike spread a blanket on the sand. They sit facing the sea, with the wind blowing in their faces. They sit watching the sunset, and watch as the stars start to show up in the sky. Mike and Nanaba are leaning against each other, while his head is on Erwin’s lap once again. Hange’s lying on her stomach, swinging her legs back and forth while issuing instructions to a flustered Moblit.

Not for the first time, he looks around at their little group, and thinks of how far they’ve come. He’d never thought he’d see them again, never thought that they’d find all this. But they have, and he can’t ask for more. This is everything he’s ever wanted. Its amazing. Its beautiful. Its peaceful.

Its perfect.