Archive of Our Own

It was still early for a Sunday, even though they had eaten breakfast already and had sex. Hannah and Clara had taken Mary out to the park and then later to see Jack's mother. They were completely alone in the apartment and Llewellyn had decided to take full advantage of the quiet to put on a record - a quieter symphony that would be enough and yet not distracting - and picked up his copy of the new Gilgamesh translation. It had most of society in an uproar for being too accurate for decency. He'd wanted to sit on the sofa they had found for the room, but Jack had urged him back to the bed.

Jack brought over water for them both, but no book for himself. When Llewellyn raised his eyebrows, curious, Jack smiled and straddled Llewellyn's thighs. "Read it to me."

Llewellyn frowned. "Are you sure? It might be a bit more than you're expecting."

Jack's smile turned into something sly. "Oh, I've heard enough about it from everyone who's anyone. I want to know if they're over reacting. And..." He bit his lip a moment and Llewellyn's cock - which shouldn't have been ready for more by all reason (they'd been rather enthusiastic this morning) - stirred. He knew that look; it always got him in trouble. And Jack knew it if the look on his face now was an indication. "I want to listen to you read. You have a wonderful voice."

"Hmm. Should I start at the beginning or shall I pick some verses I think you'll like?" Two could tease and play at this game after all. And while Llewellyn didn't have as much practice as Jack did, he was well versed in knowing how to tease his husband.

Jack tilted his head, considering. "Pick ones you think I'll like. I'll have you read me the full epic later to know if you made them up."

Llewellyn laughed and flipped through the book to one of his favorites. "I saw him and I rejoiced. I loved him as a woman. I embraced him." He turned the pages again. "The man whom thou sawest, whom thou didst embrace like a woman, means that he is to be associated with thee." Jack raised his eyebrows and Llewellyn smirked. "And thou like a wife wilt embrace him. Thou wilt love him like thyself."

Jack lightly rubbed his hands up Llewellyn's sides. "Maybe everyone isn't overreacting?"

Llewellyn hummed. "Let me start at the beginning, then? You did say to only pick the ones I liked."

Jack laughed. "I suppose I deserved that. Go on, then. Read it to me."

Jack's face softened as he listened to the verses and Llewellyn was almost fooled. The creeping heat of the day, the music, Jack's weight - he started reciting from memory. But then Jack shifted, leaned forward, and began laying kisses on his skin, first his neck after chucking him under his chin and then down and down. He gasped when Jack nipped his thigh and his recitation trailed off. "Jack. I thought you wanted poetry."

Jack rubbed his thighs. "I want both. The words and your body."

Llewellyn raised his eyebrows. "I don't know if I can manage that."

"Try."

Llewellyn groaned and reopened the book, but he couldn't concentrate as Jack kissed his way close to his cock which was leaking a steady stream of liquid onto his stomach. Jack's nails bit into his sides and Llewellyn said the first poetry that came to mind, anything to keep Jack on task. "For him, I sing...to make himself by them the law unto himself."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "That sounds like an entirely new poem."

Llewellyn covered his eyes. "I can't read right now. I'm sorry. I'm only saying what I remember. All the poetry verses that are locked in my mind."

Jack contemplated this for too long a moment. Llewellyn peeked out from behind his arms. Jack's eyes were calculating, deciding if his game could continue. "I'll allow it. Just keep reciting poetry to me."

Llewellyn sighed and searched for something specific he could say, something that he knew would speak to them both, but when Jack wrapped a hand around his cock, he lost any coherency. And when Jack's lips closed around the tip, his mind just gave him anything it could remember if only to keep Jack going.

"Kiss me like a filthy ocean. Teach me to drown without the help of baptism. Your hands twisted in my hair, mouth melting, swallowing my breath, bending backwards into want."

Jack hummed and Llewellyn chanced another look. Jack's eyes were twinkling, pleased and mischievous all at once, and Llewellyn moaned. "Therefore I send you my poems that you behold in them what you wanted."

Jack tapped his thigh and removed his mouth. Llewellyn swore. "Don't stop. Please. I was almost..."

Jack kissed him, tasting of salt and sweat. "I know what you were almost. But I wanted you to end another way. Hand me the vaseline?"

Llewellyn's hand trembled, nearly knocking over their water and other detritus, but he got the jar into Jack's hand, albeit with a rough shove. Jack laughed; Llewellyn huffed at him. "Just...hurry. You've left me in quite the tangle you know."

"Oh, I know perfectly well," Jack said. He lifted one of Llewellyn's legs over his shoulder and began to slowly prepare Llewellyn. "But you still have to give me words. Whatever ones you want."

Llewellyn's breath shuddered, as overwhelmed as he was, but the verses came all the same. "Who can the Wine and Water part, or me and Thee when we combine?"

They both groaned when Jack seated himself inside Llewellyn, Jack's head against Llewellyn's chest. A moment and Jack kissed him. "More."

"I don't know how much more I have in me," Llewellyn nearly hissed.

"Llewellyn..."

"In all Mosques, Pagodas, Churches, I do find One Shrine alone; thy face is there, my sole delight."

"That's it," Jack whispered. Sweat dripped from him onto Llewellyn, almost scalding, and Llewellyn tried to cover his face, but Jack grabbed his hands and put them at his own hips. "Hold onto me, sweetheart. Just me."

"You're trying to kill me," Llewellyn groaned.

"Trying to keep all of your wonderful brain on me. I want all of your focus and attention. Stay with me."

"Afraid I'll wander off?"

Jack smiled. "Exactly. How else am I supposed to keep you?"

"You have me. Always. I'm yours. Wholly and utterly."

Jack's hips stilled inside Llewellyn, the better for him to bend forward so he could kiss Llewellyn, as deeply as his cock was inside him. Their tongues slid against one another, giving and taking at first, but then Llewellyn had no choice but to surrender, to let himself be wholly owned. He squeezed Jack's hips. "You came to me while we were sleeping, we were both sleeping, and you asked me to hold this for you."

Jack nipped his lip and resumed his thrusts. As a distant church bell rang ten a.m., they were ending their own worship of each other, bodies as close as they could manage and sharing breath.

"These days my hands are falling in love with the love languages of the ones they love. I never spoke with God nor visited in heaven; yet certain am I of the spot as if the chart were given."

Jack laughed. "I'm all the thought that's left of you, hmm?"

Llewellyn kissed him. "You are my first waking thought, the breathe I take in the new day, and the last thought I have before I surrender to sleep. The moon that creates my timetable. The impulse that tells my lungs to breath. You are all of me. You never have to ask."

Jack's face was something approaching what could be called blasphemous, but what Llewellyn would call adoration and worship. He cupped Llewellyn's cheek. "I love you, too."

Llewellyn blushed. He hadn't... But he had, he supposed, only he hadn't meant it like that. "I... I was only reminding you that you never have to ask for my attention. It's always yours because you have wrapped yourself into my entire being."

"And for you I know that means love," Jack said. His eyes darted across Llewellyn's face. "It was alright, wasn't it? I just worry some days... Your mind is so vast... And you're very passionate and loyal... It's a wonder to me that no other man has wooed you away from me. To some bigger adventure, to more challenges. A man who could keep up with that mind for yours and who would match your passions. It's a wonder you looked twice at me all those years ago and I worry if I'm enough to keep your attention. I'm sorry." He licked his lips. "I know it feels like we keep dancing this waltz, but I just... I feel as though some days I am not enough."

Llewellyn couldn't find the words to assure Jack immediately. Instead, he rolled them onto their sides and together they arranged their limbs so they were nearly one being. Llewellyn's hand had settled in Jack's hair and despite the sweat of it, he lightly rubbed his nails into Jack's scalp. "Our life together is enough of a challenge for me. You and I are one being in my very cells, yes, but that isn't the whole of our lives together, is it?

"I am a man who has always struggled to fit in and yet the desire to belong is also instilled in me. You look at me like I'm wondrous, but I have spent my life being considered odd, difficult, strange. One night with you was all I hoped for, but then you invited me back and then again and again. So many times and then you said let us make a family. Our own little small community of four and now five. I could I suppose go looking for a companion who matched my hunger for knowledge and mental challenge. But I don't need that in my life. I have my work which gives me plenty of challenge. And the college gives free lectures now and then where I can also debate with other individuals like myself. What I need in my life you have also given me: a place to belong. To come home to. You became all of me, but then choose to do the brave thing and shared me so that I have a place to call home. No other man could do that. No one else has looked at me and seen a man worth keeping if it wasn't for my labor. I wonder some days why you would choose to keep such an odd man as I am."

Jack blushed. "Maybe we were always meant for one another then? You who needed to belong for more than any mental acumen and I who needed a man who needed to be kept?

Llewellyn kissed him, softly without rushing, something that was more an equal exchange of themselves or a baring of their souls to one another. "And words, little words, words too small for any hope or promise, not really soothing but soothing nonetheless."

Jack hugged him close, but Llewellyn understood. There were no more words and they were so completely open in this moment that the only bandage for such openness was each other.

~~~

He had a message waiting for him when he returned from his lunch on Monday. It was surprisingly not from his family or about a case; it was from his rabbi. Interesting. It asked if he could stop by the temple after work for a favor. It was unusual -- his unique approach in his faith meant that while he was welcome, he wasn't fully considered a member of their community. The rabbi was always glad that Llewellyn had questions and would help for all the holidays and meals, but when Llewellyn's questions turned in a particular path -- as they usually would -- the rabbi would remind Llewellyn that unless he tried to be more acceptable, he would remain on the outside. He could at least go see what the request was; it was the least he could do. And it wouldn't hurt anything.

End of the day, he stopped by Jack's shop to let him know he'd be late getting home and then detoured to the temple. It was at least cooling off with the storms rolling in and he hoped to be home before the rain started.

"Ah, Llewellyn, come in," Rabbi Adamik said, waving his hand. Aside from them, it was empty in the building, but Llewellyn as usual could almost hear the prayers echoing around the walls. "I'm sorry to be a bother tonight, but I, or we collectively, need a favor."

Llewellyn put his hand in his pockets. "As a detective?"

The rabbi waved his hand. "No, no. As a member of the community. A fellow rabbi is passing through this week. There's a community east of here that needs a new one. Theirs died of a heart attack. We've been asked to house him for a night. He'll arrive tomorrow morning and leave mid Wednesday. I don't know if you have the space, but I would appreciate it if you and Hannah could arrange it."

Llewellyn considered it. They did have the spare room on the first floor - a small space that had once been a work room. It had only been used twice, but it should be alright once aired out. "I'd have to ask my landlord as there is a spare room on the first floor, but it shouldn't be any trouble."

The rabbi grinned. "Excellent. Send word if not; otherwise I'll drop him at your home after I pick him up at the station. Hannah should be able to take the day off, yes?"

Llewellyn groaned inwardly. It remained a point of contention that Hannah continued to work despite being married and she would be insulted if he asked her to take the day off. He'd have to take the time off his own day, but no one would have to know that. "Someone will be there I'm sure. It might be my landlord's wife."

The rabbi frowned, but nodded. "Very good. Thank you, Llewellyn."

He let out a breath when he left the temple. This would be interesting. He wasn't sure how any of his family would take the news or how comfortable they'd be with resuming their supposed sleeping spaces. The only times they'd had a guest was when Jack's mother had stayed over; once when Mary was just born and then later when Mary had gotten a terrible bout of chicken pox. They'd gotten through it only because they'd been too tired from the worry to think about it.

His thoughts were still spinning around when he walked through the door that led to his bedroom. He hadn't felt ready to face them like this, his thoughts a whirlwind; safer it felt if he could have a moment alone before telling them of the request. He could hear the sounds from down below of dinner being made, Mary reading aloud which likely meant that she hadn't wanted to do chores. It was a trade off they'd all agreed to early on. She had some chores that she had to help with, but others, like setting the table for dinner, she could trade for reading aloud. She was more of a reader than even he was and she'd long ago read through what titles from his personal library they'd allowed her to read. He'd have to ask her soon if she needed a trip to the library.

"Llewellyn?" Hannah called from the second floor. "Are you okay?"

He looked down the stairwell and she frowned when she saw him. "Come. That looks a family matter."

He laughed. He couldn't help it. She raised an eyebrow. "Now that is troubling."

"Is everyone in the kitchen?" He asked.

She nodded. "Yes. So come and tell us what has you worried."

Clara was for once cooking. She'd finally learned something from Jack's lessons, though she didn't think she'd ever achieve anything like Jack's Sunday dinners. She could manage boiling vegetables and cooking potatoes. The meat was usually something easy to do, so long as it didn't require time or a sauce. Jack nevertheless kept an eye on the meals and now he was multi tasking - he was facing the stove so he could watch Clara, but he was also holding open the book for Mary. Llewellyn smiled at the scene, remembering yesterday, the truth that he'd told Jack. No matter what happened, they could and would face this as a family.

"Mary, why don't you go put your book away?" Hannah asked in a tone that brooked no argument.

Mary pouted, but she knew that tone. As soon as she was out of earshot, Hannah nudged Llewellyn in the back. He cleared his throat. "Rabbi Adamik has a favor for me. There's a community who needs a rabbi east of here. Because of where it is, the train schedule means he'll have an overnight stay here in Toronto. The rabbi asked if we could host him for the night."

Jack nodded. "That should be fine. We have the little room down here. Clara? Hannah?"

Clara shrugged. "It's one night. I see no reason why not."

Hannah nodded. "Yes. I am not looking forward to Llewellyn's snoring, but it's only one night."

"Hey!" Llewellyn said, offended.

Jack smiled. "You do snore, sweetheart."

Clara smirked. "And so do you. It's a wonder either of you can sleep."

Hannah laughed. Jack sighed. "So we're agreed?"

"We are," Clara said. "Would you boys be alright airing the room later? Hannah and I will adjust our rooms once Mary is asleep."

Llewellyn nodded. "Jack, would you be able to manage a kosher meal?"

Jack rolled his eyes. "As if I'm not a deft hand at it by now. I'll have the kosher butcher deliver something for us in the afternoon and I'll do the cleaning in the kitchen."

Llewellyn kissed Jack's temple. "Thank you."

Jack wrapped an arm around his waist and tilted his head back for a proper kiss.

They could do this. It was only one night.

~~~

Rabbi Adamik frowned when Llewellyn was the one who opened the door in the morning. "Hannah couldn't take the day?"

Llewellyn shook his head. "I'm afraid not. However, as I'm the second detective at the station house, I was allowed to take the morning off." He held out his hand for the visiting rabbi. "I'm sorry my wife wasn't here. I'm Llewellyn Watts."

The man shook his hand with a wide smile. "Rabbi Zima. It's quite alright. It's actually amazing, isn't it, how modern some women are."

"Indeed," Rabbi Adamik said with a frown. "I have some errands to run this morning. Thank you for this, Llewellyn."

Llewellyn raised his eyebrows and nodded his head, unsure as he usually was in new situations. He hadn't ever really had cause to host someone before. "Won't you come in? I can take your suitcase if you'd like. Do you have anything else?"

Zima shook his head. "The train company was kind enough to hold my other pieces at the station for me. I'll carry it through. It's a very nice house, this. Is it yours?"

"Oh, uh, no. It's my landlord's. My wife and I rent the space on the third floor. My landlord, however, was kind enough to allow us to use the spare room for you. I'm sorry it's not much."

Zima waved his hand. "It's fine. It has a bed, yes? Then it will do."

Llewellyn nodded. It was, as he said, small, but the rabbi didn't look put off by it. He set his suitcase on the small bureau they'd squeezed into it and smiled as he looked out the window. "Yes, this will do. Do you have an indoor bathroom here?"

"Ah, yes. Let me show you. It's just upstairs. I should let you know my landlord has a daughter. Well behaved, but she is very curious. She'll likely have a lot of questions for you. Hannah and I have taken her to some of our services and she understands it, but she's learned that nothing is as straight forward in Judaism as it is in Christianity and she loves hearing different answers to her questions."

Zima raised his eyebrows. "Truly? That is amazing. Does she know Hebrew?"

Llewellyn nodded, rather proud of that fact. It had started by accident - she'd wanted to know the lullabies he sang to her and the prayers he sometimes said unconsciously and her curiosity had led him to teach her Hebrew alongside the English she learned from them. "I've also started teaching her Yiddish. She picks up languages very easily. I think there's also one of our neighbors - they're Russian and she's learned enough of it to converse with their children."

"Oh, I can't wait to meet her. She sounds amazing. Do her questions have a particular path or does she simply want to know?"

Llewellyn smiled softly. Like him, she wanted to know everything. Jack always joked it was a good thing Llewellyn was well read or else Mary wouldn't have anyone to help her. They spent many hours together, learning new things and exploring the world. He hadn't thought he had the patience for children longer than a few hours, but Mary was patient with him in turn and made it a joy to teach. "She only wishes to understand the world. She's adored by my colleagues. She never contaminates our work, but is always polite enough to ask questions and have them demonstrate police work."

Zima nodded. "Wonderful. You must have quite the hand in helping to raise her if you know her so well and your colleagues adore her so."

Llewellyn froze. Had he given too much away?

"What do you think will happen though when you have a child of your own?" Zima asked. "Do you think she'll be jealous?"

Llewellyn cleared his throat. "Hannah and I... We've been to doctors. We... Mary has our whole attention and likely always will."

Zima frowned. "Oh, I see. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to -"

Llewellyn shrugged. "It's fine. We've had time to grow used to the idea. And we're lucky that our landlord allows us to be so involved in his daughter's life."

Zima clapped him on the shoulder. "It is very good then that you have such a home here. Now let me wash up and then if I could ask you to direct me a place to eat. I'll let you go back to work."

Llewellyn frowned. "If you're sure?"

"Quite, quite. I'm quite capable of getting around on my own and if I get lost I know where you'll be, yes? One of the station houses."

"Number four, yes."

"Then I can ask someone for it and it'll be alright."

~~~

Llewellyn was worried for the first hour he was back at work, sure that he was messing up as a host, but then a case came in - a missing camera that evolved into neighbors spying on each other and missing jewelry. It took up his time and his mind and he nearly forgot about his guest until he left for the day. As he was leaving however, Zima stood up from the bench outside the station house. He was at least smiling.

"Rabbi," Llewellyn greeted. "You could've come inside. I hope you weren't waiting too long."

Zima shook his head. "I only arrived fifteen minutes ago. Any longer and I may have gone in to ask for you. Would you be alright if we walk?"

"I prefer it after work," Llewellyn said. "It helps me set it aside so it's not still in my mind when I arrive home."

"Very good." Zima clasped his hands behind his back. "You have a wonderful city here. Do you enjoy it?"

Llewellyn shrugged. "I've traveled a bit. Other places are interesting, offer something new, but I suppose I've never wanted to live anywhere else. If that is a sufficient answer."

Zima laughed. "Rabbi Adamik said you were an interesting man. I see now what he meant. I like that. You are a man not beholden to what is expected. You simply are, aren't you?"

"I cannot find it within myself to try to be anything else. I am as I suppose I was intended to be. It's been said that perhaps society was not ready for a man like myself who will not bend."

"Oh, I do like that. It does seem that way at times for some of us. I think the Christians believe that it is only the burden and challenge set before you to see if you would bend to His will, but perhaps it is Man who decided to ignore that will and instead force their own over others. Which in that case would indeed mean it is not ready for someone to refuse to be molded."

Llewellyn smiled. "I rather like that. It is some comfort to think so."

Zima was quiet for a long moment. "Are you not going to ask me your questions? The drive over to your home, Rabbi Adamik said you were rather pressing with them. Some of which would best not be asked aloud, but which you persist in."

Llewellyn was silent. Confused. He was sure he knew what questions Zima meant, but he was afraid. Because of course here in the streets it would be dangerous to say them aloud. Toronto was a vehemently Christian city, after all.

"Do not let your fear hold you back," Zima offered quietly. "Ask."

Llewellyn sighed. "It's only... I've noticed... I thought I knew the Bible. I had read it as a child and felt it contradicted itself, but when I asked, I was told to ignore such things. To listen to the verses that I was told to. But then when I discovered my family's possible background and then made a commitment to conversion - it was agreed for the best to approach it as if I didn't come from a Jewish family since we couldn't be sure - I learned Hebrew. And I learned what the Christians call a Bible is in fact some other book for all the differences that lay between the two faiths. Hebrew is a fascinating language when one reads the whole of the Tanakh. Particularly when it discussed the laws and even sometimes the gender of the people in it."

Zima nodded. "Yes. It's one reason why we guard the language so closely. We know the society we live in. How we were and are already persecuted. Can you imagine the outcry if they learned what you did? Now of course because Jerusalem was taken by goyim so many centuries ago many argue that what we think we know cannot be right. Surely what some of us have noticed must be wrong."

"Surely if we see some of the people in the book as being neither male or female and yet they are allowed to wed..."

Zima nodded. "Yes. Yes, I know. Llewellyn, you understand why no one wants to ask this even as it seems society may be moving toward more...enlightened thinking?"

Llewellyn nodded. "I do. I completely understand."

"And you are married so -"

"Yes. I... But if I am indeed as Jeremiah, whose being and path is already known and if this is what is set out in the Tanakh, that it isn't as straight forward as we are told it is..."

Zima was silent. And was for the rest of the way back to the house. Llewellyn fretted the whole way home, worried he'd insulted the rabbi. He was already something of a pariah here. He hated to think that he'd also insulted a guest. But at the porch, Zima stopped him with a sad look.

"If I could, I would marry you to the man in your heart, Llewellyn," Zima said. "I am so very sorry that this is how things are. You are entirely correct that there is likely no objection to such a marriage in our books. I wish someone had told you sooner. I can sense that you are a man who will rest now he knows the answer. You don't need society to acknowledge it and I would as I said grant you that desire, but rest knowing that you aren't wrong about that."

Llewellyn closed his eyes against the years that threatened. "Truly?"

Zima put his hand on Llewellyn's arm. "Truly."

Llewellyn took a deep breath. "Thank you."

"You are most welcome. Now, I believe I smell a chicken cooking. Let us go break bread with this small community you've found for yourself."

~~~

Jack had managed to find two chickens for them to eat and he'd done up some baked potatoes as well. Hannah had picked up wine on her way home. It was altogether a good meal. Llewellyn could hardly focus, lost in what the rabbi had confirmed for him. Mary carried most of the conversation luckily - she was thrilled to have a new mind to pick over. Clara had tried to temper it, but once the rabbi said he didn't mind, they all spent the meal listening to the questions and answers. It was, surprisingly, aligned with Llewellyn's own questions - how did Jewish and Christians have the same source material but come to different answers. And why was it more appropriate to ask questions of a rabbi when the priest Jack's mother preferred dismissed them.

Later, when she was in bed as the adults lingered over coffee, the rabbi congratulated them all. "She's a lovely girl. You should be proud of her. And I can tell, all of you are involved in her upbringing, yes?"

Mary nodded. "Yes. I feel very blessed that Llewellyn and Hannah help. Jack, too, for all that most husbands want nothing to do with the task."

Zima smiled. "Many hands make light work. Is that how the saying goes? I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to be the single person raising her."

Mary laughed. "She's a handful even for the four of us."

"And lucky for us, Llewellyn is well educated," Jack added. "Some days I don't understand where she gets her questions from or how to answer them. And he's always willing to take her to the library."

Zima laughed. "Education and an eagerness to learn is the mark of a bright mind. Are you considering encouraging her to continue her studies all the way to college? I know it wouldn't be traditional for your backgrounds, but the world is changing, is it not?"

"It would be nice," Clara said. "She has several excellent role models for it. However, there are just as many examples she has of how far one can go without such education. We plan to encourage her to go where she thinks is best. To have a career and life that would make her happy."

"It is all any of us want for our loved ones," Zima agreed quietly. "To be happy. Might I have a refill?"

Jack poured them all a refill and before the silence could stretch on for too long - or Mary wake up as she sometimes did, having gotten Clara's penchant for broken sleep - Zima broke the peace. "I understand now Llewellyn what drove you to ask those questions."

Clara, Hannah, and Jack all looked Llewellyn. He hastily swallowed the coffee he'd just sipped and put the cup down, very focused on the task. He cleared his throat and slumped down in his seat just a little. "Yes... Ah...."

Jack covered his eyes. "Would these questions be about the breakdown of gender and marriage in the Bible?"

Llewellyn blushed. "They may."

Zima laughed. "Don't tease him. It only came from a man who knows himself and from a place of love. But, it wasn't wholly for yourself that you asked those questions, was it?"

Hannah wrapped ran her thumb around the rim of her cup. "Sometimes his love for us causes him to go too far. Is that what gave us away?"

Zima shook his head. "No. I knew from his questions that the person he loved he couldn't have. It was seeing all of you here together that told me. Oh, I wouldn't worry too much. You do quite well keeping up the pretense of being two married couples. It's only that I don't know any of you. I am told here are two couples and a child and so I look to see what manner of people they are. What I see is indeed two couples, but not the ones others see because I have none of the preconceived notions. Do you understand?"

Jack took a deep breath. "W-what will you do with that information?"

"No need to worry," Zima said. "Why should I break up such a wonderful family? Because the law says so? Llewellyn here I'm sure knows that sometimes the law must be.... Well. Sometimes we ignore the law for what we know is the right and true thing to do. What does it matter what happens here in these walls?

"No, no. I've heard quite enough of what society says happens when sodomy is committed or when women forsake their traditional roles for a life together. But I have seen so many families in my years. From my childhood to my years as a rabbi. In a home where a man beats his wife and he's allowed to because the law says he can, he will also beat his children. He might drink. But because he is a good worker, pays his bills, attends church, he is a good man. Even if his wife is beaten out of life and his children live in fear. That is allowed.

"And here in this home? The law says it is illegal. But there is a little girl who is bright and unafraid, who knows she is loved and is so then allowed to be what she wants to be. There are two couples who have made a commitment to each other and live by it. This is a house of love, but the law says it isn't allowed.

"I won't turn you in because what is right and true is how you are living your lives. Because there is an enduring thread of community in you and this is what Adonai would want of us."

Llewellyn's breath was ragged, heart lightened and his being overwhelmed. Jack covered his hand with his own. Llewellyn smiled at him even if he was again close to tears.

"As I said to Llewellyn, I wish I could make this easier for all of you. That the image you must present to the world wasn't necessary. But if the Christians are correct and we all have a challenge we must overcome, it isn't that you prefer the company of your own sex. Your challenge is to endure where society would like you beaten."

Clara sniffed. "Thank you, Rabbi."

He nodded and finished his coffee. "I worry that I've left you all in a terrible state when I must go to sleep, but I think you'll be fine. You will of course give up this pretense and go to the beds you always share, yes?"

They all said they would and he nodded. He said good night and left them in the kitchen, taking comfort in each other's company.

"That was not what I was expecting," Clara admitted. "I never once thought anything but trouble would come of your questions."

Llewellyn sniffed. "I can't not ask them. Well, I suppose I don't have to anymore, but I had to know. I just... I think I needed to hear that I was right. I didn't want to be ushered away, told it didn't matter. I just...needed to know."

Jack kissed his knuckles. "Of course you did. At least this time the answers were the ones we needed to hear."

Hannah took a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm sorry, but I... Clara, I think it's time for bed. I need to rest."

"We all do, I think," Clara agreed. "Thank you, Llewellyn."

~~~

Despite their agreement that they needed to sleep, none of them did. Or at least he assumed so. He and Jack were still awake despite the hour. It just seemed too good to be true, to know that the accusations fling at them, at people like them, really had no basis in anything. It was without source.

"It's terrible," Llewellyn whispered into the dark. "How can anyone... Even in a Christian version of the book it's..."

Jack made a noise not unlike when he was hushing Mary. "I know. And as the rabbi said, it is only love. Why should that be so illegal? Oh, the laws are for specific acts, but the law has always argued that a man like us must have once committed some kind of indecency. But what does it hurt in the end, I know."

Llewellyn took a deep breath which because he had his nose close to Jack's neck was filled with nothing except his husband. Because Jack was his husband, no matter the laws. Marriage was a commitment to share a life together, to support one another and be as one. He and Jack were that. It didn't matter that it couldn't be spoken of beyond their home; they were married.

"I want more poetry," Jack whispered. "Do you remember yesterday? I want the words in your head."

"As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the sons; in his shade I delighted and sat, and his fruit was sweet to my palate. He brought me to the banquet hall, and his attraction to me was symbolic of his love. Sustain me with flagons of wine, spread my bed with apples, for I am lovesick. His left hand was under my head, and his right hand would embrace me."

Jack fell asleep first, but Llewellyn kept speaking until he fell asleep, too. Jack had asked it of him. And of course he would always listen and act if it was in his power to do so.

Always.