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Ryousuke's twirling a cherry red leaf in his fingers when he answers the Skype call, and Haruichi gets the drop on him for once. "You sure that's not poison ivy?"
Ryousuke laughs, points the leaf at the shiny eye of the camera. "My little brother gets sharper every time I talk to him."
"Or Aniki's getting slow in his old age." Haruichi smiles like something overly-sweet and toxic, and Ryousuke laughs again, reaches out with his other hand until he remembers he can't actually touch him. The action makes Haruichi blush all the same.
"Speaking of old, how are you enjoying being one of the seniors on the team now?" He smirks like he knows, like he remembers, like Haruichi's sigh is the answer he's expecting. "That much fun?"
Haruichi laughs. "No, not fun at all. I'm expected to babysit the first years, and next year's first years, while still having to babysit Eijun and Satoru." Ryousuke cracks up then, and Haruichi wants to throw something at him. "Shut up. At least I have Kanemaru helping out."
Ryousuke smiles, and he thinks of sending Kanemaru flowers, maybe a sympathy card. "Is Sawamura still dragging Miyuki out to the field every night?"
"Oh of course. Miyuki's not going to get his freedom until he graduates." Haruichi blushes and leans a little closer to the computer, so he can whisper. "I think they spend half their time making out though."
Ryousuke has to laugh again. "He needs to let that poor boy study."
Haruichi shrugs. "That's what I keep telling him, but he says I'm jealous."
"Are you?"
Haruichi's blush darkens, and he sighs, looking suddenly like that sad, lost child he used to be, and Ryousuke hates that he's so far away, miles and endless miles between them. "Maybe. I miss you."
Ryousuke breathes slow around the deep ache he's felt since the summer, a new kind of wound that doesn't know how to heal. "I miss you too." He watches Haruichi reach for the screen, and the ache tightens. "You know, I was thinking about wormholes earlier. How Skype really needs to get its shit together and give us instant teleportation or whatever, instead of just these glitchy chats."
Haruichi does that unrestrained laughing snorting thing, that shocked, honest sound, and falls sideways in the frame. "Aniki...."
"What? We have cars that can park themselves, why can't we have wormhole chat?"
Haruichi gasps something that sounds like "wormhole chat!" and Ryousuke sighs. "Stop laughing and think about it. You'd have three buttons: phone, video, and visit." He pauses, and he can hear Haruichi trying to rein in his laughter, waits until the right perfect moment to say the most important part. "And then I would be there with you right now."
The sound catches in Haruichi's throat, forces him silent, and he sits up, flushed from amusement but the expression on his face is all seriousness. "Aniki." That solid, no-nonsense tone is not what Ryousuke is expecting. "We live in the same city, and there are these things called trains, and --"
Ryousuke cuts him off with his own laughter, high and completely out of his control, and Haruichi isn't sure if he wants to punch him or kiss him or punch him first and then kiss him. "You're right, Harucchi. Why would we want instant teleportation when we could spend half an hour on public transportation."
"Smart ass. The point is you could still be here, right now."
Ryousuke calms, and curls a taunting little smile. "Go get on a train then, if it's so easy."
Haruichi sighs. "Fine I get your point, wormhole chat would be faster."
"Yes it would. Oh well, we'll see each other for New Year's, and at least we won't have to worry about alien monsters coming after us."
He knows he shouldn't ask, can clearly see Ryousuke's smile is still on the side of teasing, but Haruichi's always been a sucker for his brother's traps, so he gives in, and sighs. "Okay, tell me about the alien monsters."
Ryousuke grins. "Well think about it. In all the movies, books, mangas, whatever, any time someone invents a way to travel through wormholes, it always lets something nasty through from the other side. Like this manga I was reading, where they opened up a sort of time gate, and all these aliens came pouring through, and they had to create these specialist teams of soldiers to fight the aliens just so the scientists could get through the gate and do their work."
"So you're thinking, if we can use Skype with wormholes, we could Skype with other planets, and let aliens into this world?"
"Maybe. They would probably be more advanced than we are, so they could hijack our wormholes somehow." Ryousuke hums. "Maybe we could do something with aliens for our manga. I was thinking about Lovecraft the other day, I love the concept of ancient aliens more than the usual fancy spaceship aliens."
Haruichi takes a breath finally without laughing through it, distracted by that little thrill he always gets at the thought of doing something together with his brother. "We could do aliens if you want, Aniki. We could do a manga version of a Lovecraft story too."
Ryousuke smiles, and Haruichi warms from it. "We would make the best Lovecraft manga ever."
His fingers are also starting to itch, like everything is trapped in them and all he has to do is set it free. "I'll do some sketches when I have time, see if there's anything you like."
"I'm sure I'll like all of it." Ryousuke waits, watches the blush spread across Haruichi's face, and he shamelessly touches the screen. "I should go. I need to get in the gym before it fills up."
Haruichi nods, swallows back the ache in his chest that makes him want to beg him to stay. "I'll see you in a month. Kataoka says we'll get to go home on the thirty-first, and I've already warned Mom and Dad."
"Great! If Mom starts cooking now, she might be finished by the time we get there!"
They both laugh, and it's warm and fond and Haruichi thinks of how he doesn't normally have time to miss his parents, but when it hits, it hits hard.
Last year's break was so awkward. All he remembers of it is his parents playing mediator between him and Ryousuke, how few words they spoke to each other. Tournament wins in his back pocket, and he should have been proud, should have been happy, but he was too caught up in the losses, those infinite empty spaces.
"Harucchi, you're thinking too much."
Ryousuke's voice pulls him out of it, and he smiles, never thought he'd be able to smile so easy. "At least it doesn't hurt when I think."
Ryousuke puts a hand to his chest and slumps over, laughing. "Oh, another kill shot."
"I keep telling you, I had a great teacher." Haruichi blushes, but he grins. "Good night, Aniki."
"Good night, brat."
It's a long time before either of them stop smiling.
+
New Year's Eve comes in fast, riding the heels of winter training camps, and Ryousuke likes the way it feels to be so worn out, but he's also glad for the break.
His train arrives at the station an hour before Haruichi's, so he waits, giving in to nostalgia, can't help thinking about his first winter break from Seidou, the exhaustion from working so hard to prove himself. Coming home to find his little brother was someone he hardly recognized, someone he could begin to be truly proud of, but he didn't yet know how to say it.
Haruichi always finds a way to surprise him. Ryousuke hopes he never stops.
There's a big glittery banner on the wall, Goodbye 2008 -- Hello 2009!, and Ryousuke takes a picture of it, then sends an email to Haruichi. Hurry up, little bro. Can't you make the train go any faster?
Haruichi replies with a HA HA ANIKI and Ryousuke laughs.
He thinks of everything that has changed this year, all the painful, heavy things he's been able to let go, and he decides he's tired of looking back, when there are so many reasons to look forward.
Haruichi's train arrives, a few minutes late, and he nearly throws himself into Ryousuke's arms, burrowing into the warm place between his scarf and his neck. Hidden safely there where he can kiss the soft skin, where he can whisper, "I missed you, Aniki."
Ryousuke smirks against Haruichi's hair, and pulls him in tighter. "It's only been a few months, aren't they teaching you patience at that big fancy high school?"
Haruichi laughs, and his sigh is one of those heavy, enduring sighs. "You're ruining the mood."
Ryousuke snickers, then pushes Haruichi away, enough that he can get both hands on his blush-warmed cheeks. "I thought it would be obvious. I missed you too."
"You better have." And he desperately wants to kiss him then, so he steps back, picks up the bag he'd dropped.
On the walk home, Ryousuke talks about Yuuki and Isashiki and how much they're in love, and Haruichi's painfully aware that he's going to spend his entire life being jealous of everyone else, their open, acceptable happiness. He'll never get to tell his parents, I found someone, I'm in love and they love me back, and I'm happy, and that's something he hasn't thought of yet, that he's going to lie to them, Ryousuke's going to lie to them. They're going to sit together at the dinner table and pretend they aren't having the worst kind of unnatural relationship.
"Haruichi?" Ryousuke stops a few steps ahead, and Haruichi's standing still, the middle of the road, and he's somehow pale and flushed at the same time, biting his lip the way he does when he's trying not to cry, and Ryousuke gets it, Ryousuke feels it like a sucker punch. "I told you this wasn't going to be easy."
"It's not about easy, Ryousuke." His voice wavers, then Ryousuke's walking back, close enough for Haruichi to get a hand on the collar of his coat. "I want Mom and Dad to know I'm happy. They're never going to know."
Ryousuke breathes slow, pries Haruichi's hand from his coat so he hold it for a moment. "So tell them you're happy. You don't have to tell the details."
"I guess." He doesn't have to say, it's not the same, because Ryousuke knows. They'll never be like Yuuki and Isashiki, or Sawamura and Miyuki, they'll always be a secret.
Ryousuke very briefly kisses the backs of his fingers, brave and daring there on the neighborhood street where everyone knows the Kominato brothers, but the risk is worth it. All the words he can't say, that he's not ashamed, that Haruichi means more to him than anything, even baseball, and he always has.
Haruichi relaxes enough that he doesn't feel like he's about to cry, and he leans in against Ryousuke, links their fingers together in the safe, hidden shadows. "It isn't fair."
"It isn't. But it's what we have." Ryousuke smirks, shifts from foot to foot so he can bounce one shoulder against Haruichi's and then the other. "Remember what you said to me once, we know, and that's what matters."
Haruichi briefly snorts. "I think I said that about Aokigahara."
Ryousuke's smile then is that dangerous, glittery one. "Ahh, so you did. Well, that means we have two things that are just for us, and no one else."
He makes it sound so enticing, so satisfying, that these secrets are something precious for them to hold tight and sacred, not to worry about and regret, and Haruichi wants to remember that feeling, the next time he gets so overwhelmingly jealous.
Ryousuke does the shoulder bounce again. "I'm glad you're happy though."
"I am." Haruichi squeezes the hand he's holding, because he still wants to kiss him and he still can't, and he tries to do the shoulder bounce thing but he just ends up shoving Ryousuke back a few steps, and it sets them both giggling. "Are you happy?"
"Yes. Yes I am." Ryousuke lets go of Haruichi then, gets him walking again, before they both fuck up and forget where they're standing. He can't help thinking, he's really pretty lucky, having someone he can love so intensely, a love that's been there to inspire him and drive him through every part of his life. And maybe their friends can kiss in front of other people and they can't, but it's a fair trade.
+
They spend the day catching up with their parents, how work is going, what hobbies they're into lately, conversations that have nothing to do with baseball or school and it's nice, relaxing. Their mother feeds them so much that it's almost like a challenge, to see how much they can eat, how much until they're slouched back in their chairs, unable to take another bite, and she looks so satisfied as they stumble off to their old bedroom that Haruichi thinks about congratulating her.
He manages to grab his bag before collapsing on Ryousuke's bed, Ryousuke sliding in beside him, and he pulls out his sketchbook, flipping to the most recent pages. "Here's what I've been working on."
They're covered in wonderfully grotesque things that Ryousuke recognizes instantly from the stories he's read, and he almost wants to touch them because they look so alive, so soft and fluid in Haruichi's smooth, careful shading. It's nothing like the manga sketches he remembers, but he wasn't expecting it to be.
Ryousuke smiles through the massive rush of pride, turns the pages carefully, and even when it's clear that Haruichi's trying to work out the right details, trying to turn words into images, there's not one line out of place. "This is impressive. You've made Cthulhu look... pretty."
Haruichi laughs, swats Ryousuke's arm. "He'd eat your head for saying that."
"Probably." Ryousuke snickers, and turns back to the first one, to look through them again. "I just mean, I didn't know you were this good."
And there's the blush, right on time. "It's not that good, there's a lot of mistakes. And Lovecraft sometimes is so vague, half the time I don't know what I'm supposed to be drawing, like where do the tentacles go, there's always so many tentacles."
Ryousuke laughs. "Maybe you should draw tentacle porn."
"Aniki!" Haruichi swats him again, harder. "I am not drawing tentacle porn."
"Why not? You could sell it on the internet, make some good money."
Haruichi sighs. "I'll keep it in mind for the future." He can't let Ryousuke win though, so he leans over, whispers, "But if you're interested, there's some Takahashicest a few pages back...."
Ryousuke makes an undignified sound in his throat, coughs to cover it up, and flips back through various baseball-related still lifes and car portraits until he finds it. That sound slips out again and Haruichi quietly laughs. "You thought I was kidding."
Ryousuke clears his throat, and he's about to catch fire with how much he's blushing, and Haruichi's ready to claim his victory until he says, "It would be better with tentacles."
Haruichi groans, struck out in the bottom of the ninth, and he slumps forward to hide his face in his knees. "Aniki I swear."
Ryousuke cackles. "I'm teasing, it's very nice. I think we should try that position."
Haruichi chokes out a strangled "Aniki!", then he's rescued by a knock at the door, Ryousuke quickly closing the sketchbook before calling for them to come in, and Haruichi can't lift his face from his knees because all he can think about is Ryousuke pressed against the hood of a sleek white Mazda and he can't face his mother like that.
But she knows them well enough, takes in Haruichi's hiding position, Ryousuke's deviant smile, and sighs. "Ryousuke stop embarrassing your brother."
"But it's so easy." And Haruichi can't move his head, but he can move his hand, so he knuckles hard into Ryousuke's shoulder, makes his whole arm go numb. "Ow. That's it, you're going to die."
"Well, your father and I are leaving now, so please don't kill each other while we're gone." She watches her sons shove at each other for a moment, and she knows better than to say it out loud, but she's glad to see them getting along, had been worried for a while. But whatever was broken between them the last time they were home, they seem to have fixed it, and maybe there was nothing to worry about at all.
They say goodbyes, and Haruichi and Ryousuke wait in silence, listening to footsteps fading down the hall, the front door opening and closing, then Haruichi is fast across the room to lock their bedroom door, and he barely gets turned around before Ryousuke crashes into him. It's their first kiss since summer, it's what they've been waiting for, and it's almost clumsy and uncoordinated in their eagerness, hot and rushed like the first time.
Haruichi breaks away to breathe, and Ryousuke pulls him from the door, back to the bed. He'd been smart enough to move the bag and sketchbook to the floor before he got up, so there's nothing in the way when he shoves Haruichi down, following quick to kiss him again.
It should be awkward, Haruichi thinks. Lying there on Ryousuke's bed, the room they grew up in, and their parents might be gone but they could come home early for any number of reasons, but it only feels like a coming full circle of sorts, like he's finally kissing Ryousuke in the place he's supposed to be kissing him.
Like it needs to happen here, in order for him to move forward, away from the regrets of the past.
Ryousuke feels him blush, his kiss going softer, and Ryousuke pulls back, pinches a flushed cheek. "What are you thinking?"
That question always makes him blush even more, and he pinches Ryousuke's side in revenge. "Just sentimental crap."
Ryousuke smiles his bratty smile. "What kind of sentimental crap?"
"Like... I needed to kiss you here, to make up for all the times I didn't."
Ryousuke exhales fast, still has no way to defend himself against these kinds of things. "We have a lot to make up for."
He doesn't need to say it, all the wrong decisions he made, thinking he was doing what was right, what was necessary to be the good older brother. He's past all that now, though his mind inevitably tries to drag him backward, into nights spent staring at the slats of Haruichi's bunk, cursing his weaknesses and failures.
He has to distract himself, has to kiss Haruichi again and remind his cruel memories that he's allowed to, that all of this is okay, and he isn't going to let those old fears hold him back anymore. And to prove it, he slides his hands under Haruichi's shirt, sits up so he can pull it off.
"Aniki, you're worrying again." He kisses him before he can reply and deny it, then pulls at Ryousuke's shirt until it's tossed to the floor and he can get his hands on warm skin, sliding over muscles that have built back up since the summer. Haruichi spares a moment to be glad Ryousuke's taking care of himself again, and everything that means.
Ryousuke takes advantage of the preoccupation to push Haruichi back on the bed, to kiss over his chest, leaving little bites that turn pink but won't bruise, Haruichi arching into each one. He leaves a trail down to his hip, bites harder on the edge of bone and Haruichi gasps, and he feels Ryousuke's silent laugh on his skin, reaches down to get a handful of hair. The tug makes his breath stutter, and he looks up, expression full of trouble as he quickly unfastens Haruichi's jeans, pulls them down along with his underwear.
Haruichi's only warning is a sharp curve of a smile before Ryousuke licks a slow, hot line up the length of his cock.
Haruichi gasps out a fast "fuck Aniki!" and has to bite his hand, trying to mute the sounds caught in his throat as Ryousuke takes him into his mouth, keeping a slow motion but it's enough to have Haruichi overwhelmed with sensation.
His hand falls out of Ryousuke's hair, and Ryousuke catches it, links their fingers together tight. Haruichi's lost in the warmth, the unfamiliar slide of Ryousuke's tongue twisting around him, new and amazing, and he's moving so slow but it doesn't seem to matter, each slick motion pushing Haruichi closer until it hits him so fast he can barely remember to breathe.
When awareness fades back in, Ryousuke's leaning over him, flushed and smirking amusement, and Haruichi raises up enough to kiss him. The taste of himself in Ryousuke's mouth is kind of a shock, but he likes it, in a bold, possessive sort of way.
Ryousuke sits up, pets over the line of fading bite marks, feels Haruichi shiver from it. "That was awesome."
Haruichi laughs, he can't help it. "That was very awesome. But I really need to work on my staminarol."
Ryousuke snickers at the use of Furuya's vocabulary. "You'll have time, don't worry."
"I guess. So can I do that to you now?"
Ryousuke's not expecting that, and his breath catches, rushes out of him fast. "Actually, I had something else in mind, if it's okay."
Haruichi nods, blushes again, and he almost wants to laugh, because how could he ever deny Ryousuke anything. "Whatever you want."
And Ryousuke blushes too, gets up quickly from the bed so Haruichi doesn't have time to notice the rising color, and comes back with his bag, sorts through it for a white bottle with the label picked off. His effort was for nothing though because he's still blushing, and he tosses the bottle for Haruichi to catch. "It doesn't smell like roses."
Haruichi fully cackles, opening the bottle to squeeze some out on his fingers, and it's clear and silky-smooth and smells a little like the aloe vera gel he keeps for treating sunburns. "This is nice. Where'd you get it?"
"At a store, where else?"
Haruichi chokes, almost groans at the sudden mental image of his brother out buying sexual lubricant, and it shouldn't be so exciting, but it is. Ryousuke watches Haruichi cover his face, and laughs quiet, taking the bottle back.
"Anyway, my idea." He slides a hand up the inside of Haruichi's thigh, feels the muscles tense and shiver as he lifts his leg, pulls it around his waist. "I was thinking, I'd like to have you like this, this time."
Those words light up like fire under his skin, and Haruichi's hard again so fast it makes him dizzy. "Oh fuck. Yes."
Ryousuke snickers and pets over Haruichi's thigh again, then moves to get the rest of his clothes off, and Haruichi's sitting up to catch him in a kiss, pulling him down to the bed. Fingers still slick from testing the lube slide over him, stroke him slow, and Ryousuke purrs a quiet sound into the kiss, hips twitching eager into Haruichi's hand. His impatience says this would be fine, this would be great in fact, but he somehow manages to push Haruichi's hand away, to shift around until he has Haruichi's legs right where he wants them, curled around him and pulling him close.
Haruichi leans back on his elbows, and Ryousuke can't resist licking over him again, just to make him gasp, to make the grip of his legs tighten, and he snickers, kissing Haruichi's stomach in apology.
Haruichi shivers, nudges his knee into Ryousuke's ribs. "You're such a brat."
Of course Ryousuke only grins. "I learned from the best."
"Don't use my own words against me!" But he laughs, and then Ryousuke's slick fingers are pressing against him, and he forgets words for a moment, forgets everything but the feel of him pushing inside. Haruichi's arms give out and he drops flat against the bed, makes Ryousuke quietly laugh again, though the sound is shaky, unfocused.
He gets it now, why Haruichi likes doing this, how he can feel every reaction, every shiver, the heat of him unlike anything he's imagined. Ryousuke slips a second finger in, searching, and Haruichi jolts, lets out a vicious line of curses, and Ryousuke laughs, licks him again. He repeats the motion, both at the same time, and Haruichi shouts a broken "Ryousuke!" and Ryousuke laughs harder, the stutter of his breath on oversensitive skin making Haruichi whine.
"Wow. I should have done this the first time." He sits up right as Haruichi raises a hand, reaching for him, and he misses, grabbing only air. Ryousuke catches his hand and licks over his fingers, the calluses on his palm, until he's shivering from it, fingertips twitching against Ryousuke's cheek.
"Aniki, you're killing me."
Ryousuke responds with another press of his fingers, Haruichi tensing around him as the hand against Ryousuke's face spasms, another growled-out "Aniki...", and Ryousuke really can't handle how much he likes that, it's almost unfair.
He relents, pulls his fingers out and lets go of Haruichi's hand, reaching for the bottle so he can get himself ready. Then he's pushing in, and he knows what Haruichi's feeling, the novelty and intensity of being filled for the first time, but he's not prepared for how good it feels to be inside him, the way it shocks him hot and sudden.
It's almost too much, aching in his chest like echoes of the earlier nostalgia, thinking, this is Haruichi beneath him, the one thing he loves most in the world, and he's overwhelmed before he can push it away.
Haruichi feels him begin to shake, and he reaches for him again, catches his arm and pulls him down, whispers "I know, I know," because he remembers. He can still feel the way it felt to have him that first time, after so many years of wanting, the relief and the thrill and all the overheated consuming emotions that he doesn't have words for, and they're still sort of there, tangled up with a lingering disbelief, that he could wake alone at any moment, Ryousuke dissipating like smoke.
But he isn't dreaming, so he kisses him, twisting his tongue around Ryousuke's, mimicking the way Ryousuke sucked him, and Ryousuke begins to move, matching the slow, drawn-out speed of Haruichi's mouth.
He shifts one of Haruichi's legs into the crook of his arm, angles in deeper, feeling Haruichi shudder around him, and it's a shame to leave behind that wonderful kiss, but Ryousuke sits up, changing the angle again, and Haruichi drags in a loud gasp like he's been shocked, and that's exactly what Ryousuke was looking for.
Haruichi curses, and Ryousuke purrs in response, raises Haruichi's leg up higher so it rests on his shoulder, and he's able to slide that hand down the back of it, soft skin over tight, well-trained muscles, the quiver each time Ryousuke thrusts in.
It still kind of amazes him, because when the hell did his tiny baby brother get such wonderful long legs, all the changes happening while Ryousuke was afraid to watch. He thinks he might even have grown a little since the summer, and though he's jealous in a very basic way, he still hopes Haruichi keeps growing, so the coaches won't judge him as harshly as they have Ryousuke, so Haruichi won't have as much to prove.
Haruichi's leg tenses, draws his attention back where it belongs, and he kisses the soft place behind his knee, the ticklish sensation making Haruichi laugh under his breath. Then he slides his other hand away from Haruichi's hip, a slow drag over his cock, and Haruichi arches off the bed, pressing into the friction of Ryousuke's palm.
Ryousuke rises up a bit more on his knees, leaving Haruichi arched with only his shoulders touching the mattress. He has to be careful with the bunk right above his head, but the angle is even better like this, and Haruichi's lost to whimpers and trembling, hiding his face behind his arms, and it takes just a few determined strokes of Ryousuke's hand before he's coming, and Ryousuke has to go still, can't breathe through how tight Haruichi clenches around him. Then Haruichi rolls his hips just right and that's it, Ryousuke gasps through the rush, barely aware of Haruichi reaching for his hand, a grounding point.
Ryousuke drops back to sitting, and Haruichi lets his leg fall from his shoulder so he can sit up, get his mouth on Ryousuke's again, a soft, lazy kiss, both still tingling and sated. Ryousuke pulls away from it to smile, to say against Haruichi's mouth, "That was the best idea I've had in a long time."
Haruichi laughs, bites Ryousuke's lip. "You are so shameless."
Ryousuke hums and fully grins. "Maybe." And Haruichi is wet and slick where he's sitting over his lap, so Ryousuke reaches down between them, and there's hardly any resistance when he presses his fingers inside, only the flutter of Haruichi's shiver.
"Proving my point, Aniki." He drops his head to Ryousuke's shoulder, feels the shake of his silent laughter, and he'd punch him but he doesn't have the energy, and he's mostly just amazed that he can still feel so good, pleasure rocking through him every time Ryousuke twists his fingers. "Fuck."
Ryousuke laughs again, keeping relentless pressure against his prostate. "Think you could come a third time?"
Haruichi makes a sound that's half laugh, half moan. "You really are trying to kill me. But we don't have time, we don't know how long they're staying out."
"They're staying at least until midnight." Ryousuke smiles so Haruichi can hear it in his voice, and presses into him harder, and all he can do is shiver through it, can't manage a protest, not when it's so endlessly white-hot and perfect.
Ryousuke pets through Haruichi's hair, tugs it gently until he raises his head to kiss him, and he stops worrying about time, loses track of how long they stay like that, Haruichi clenching around his hand, licking through all of his soft, desperate little sounds.
He isn't sure he can handle it, this slow-building wave, isn't prepared when it fully hits, like nothing he's ever felt before, like something inside him has gone supernova. All he can do is cling to Ryousuke, arms wrapped tight around his shoulders, barely coherently whispering "don't stop, don't stop", and he faintly hears the response of Ryousuke's curse right as a second wave crashes over him.
He's shaking so much that Ryousuke starts to worry, the way he can feel the too-fast racing of his pulse from inside him, but he doesn't stop, and Haruichi bites back a cry as everything whites out again.
He can't count how many times the heat rises and burns through him, and it's not until he thinks he's been burned away to nothing that it finally starts to fade, lets him relax and melt boneless against Ryousuke.
Haruichi feels him pull his hand away, a moment passing while he wipes his fingers clean on the sheets, while Haruichi tries to reorient himself back to reality, and Ryousuke sounds completely awed when he says, "That lasted for minutes, I thought I really had killed you."
"I thought so too." Haruichi laughs, and somehow manages to sit up on his own, kissing him again, and he is definitely doing that to Ryousuke next time, but for now he just slides his hand down Ryousuke's stomach, finds him hard and aching and wonders how long he's been like that.
Ryousuke's breath catches, and Haruichi tightens his grip, kisses him until he comes, mouth slack against Haruichi's, and he's struck again with how beautiful he is like this, how he'll never get tired of seeing him without his defenses, without the everpresent taunt waiting at the corners of his lips. He thinks he could stay there forever, maybe make him come again, but it is definitely late now, so Haruichi forces himself to let go, to climb reluctantly off the bed.
His legs are unsteady, wobbly and embarrassing, and he smacks Ryousuke's arm when he starts to laugh. "Shut up. I'm going to have a shower, and I'm going to use all the hot water."
"You little shit." It comes out with that accidental fond tone, and Haruichi blushes, smiles like he's proud of himself as he leaves the room.
Ryousuke falls back on the bed and just laughs.
Two hours later, midnight arrives with a barrage of fireworks, and Haruichi leans over the edge of his bunk, dangles one arm down. "Aniki, you asleep?"
There's a rustle of blankets as Ryousuke rolls and shifts, reaches up to catch Haruichi's hand. "Not yet. Happy new year."
Haruichi squeezes his fingers. "Happy new year to you too." He can't think of anything he needs to wish for.
+
It's cold at the shrine, and Haruichi's trying to blow smoke rings with his breath, but Ryousuke keeps trying to stick pine needles in his mouth when he opens it. "I'm going to bite your hand off in a minute."
Ryousuke snickers, and that time he just pats Haruichi's cheek. "You can't do it like that anyway, you need actual smoke."
"I've seen people do it." But it's getting kind of embarrassing, so he stops, steals one of Ryousuke's needles to pick apart. "What did you wish for?"
"Better food in the campus cafeteria."
Haruichi laughs and swats his arm. "Aniki, be serious."
"I am serious." Then his smile softens, that delicate, honest smile that Haruichi loves to see. "I wished nothing would ever change."
Haruichi exhales slow, and he leans against Ryousuke's shoulder, tangles fingers in the loose knots of his scarf. "I wished for the same thing."
Ryousuke's not expecting the flood of relief, the sudden weightlessness, like he's just let go of something heavy, but it makes sense when he thinks about it, all his worries, that all he ever wanted was for his brother to be happy. When he laughs it's almost a giggle, so he coughs, sets it right, and he can't kiss Haruichi there but he can hug him, so he does.
Haruichi hugs him back, and neither of them think about that day in the dorm, when they couldn't touch each other without being afraid. All they think about is how right things are, and how perfect the future will be.
+
Time passes quickly, and Haruichi is left with one year at Seidou.
The third years are graduating, which means Sawamura is sobbing loudly as he clings to Miyuki, the team gathered out on the field one last time, throwing baseballs around in the warm spring sun. Haruichi's standing off to the side with Zono, leaning against the sturdy support of his shoulder, and it aches in him that he won't be there anymore, his quiet friend through all this madness of the last two years.
The two most important years of his life, if he's honest.
Kuramochi cackles from his clingy perch on Kawakami's back, and Zono gives in, pulls Haruichi into a tight, squishing hug. "This is a day for you to celebrate."
Haruichi doesn't need to ask what he means, he just laughs into the lapel of Zono's jacket. "I should, but I'm going to miss everyone."
"Yeah, me too. It's been a great three years with these dumbasses." They both laugh at that, and Zono lets Haruichi go right as Kuramochi laser beams into him, knocking them down in the dust. "Don't kill him, Youichi, shit."
Kuramochi cackles again, but it's quieter, less menacing as he settles himself over Haruichi's stomach, wipes dirt from the poor boy's face. "He's tough, he won't die so easily."
Haruichi huffs, blushing as he swats Kuramochi's fidgeting hands away. "That doesn't mean you need to try."
Kuramochi snickers, then he goes serious for the moment, pets over Haruichi's hair without being too obnoxious about it. "I meant what I said though, keep in touch. And if anything ever goes to hell, you've still got me and Zono to talk to, okay, remember."
Zono grunts an agreement, and Haruichi nods. "I'll remember. Both of you can call me too, for any reason."
"Yeah, I will." He leans over then, rests his forehead against Haruichi's, and he's thinking about last year, when he thought he'd lost him, thought he'd been broken too deeply to repair. "I really mean it, you've got me. And you better take care of yourself, cause I can't wait to see you and Ryou together on the field, I don't wanna hear about any injuries or accidents or any shit like that, got it?"
Haruichi lets his arms curl around Kuramochi, and his throat goes tight, but he refuses to cry. "I got it. What are you, my second brother?"
Kuramochi grins down like sunlight. "Yes, that's exactly what I am."
Then there's a shuffle of shoes right beside them, and a soft voice saying, "Well, this is interesting."
Haruichi gasps out a shocked "Aniki!" and Kuramochi laughs bright, like it's the best thing ever.
"Speak of the devil! I get to manhandle both Kominatos in one day, what a great graduation present!" He pinches Haruichi's cheek, leaping up before he has a chance to retaliate, and throws himself at Ryousuke, clings until Ryousuke gives in and hugs him back.
He ruffles the back of Kuramochi's hair, where there's less gel, and curls a lock around his finger and tugs. "I still think you should go into pro wrestling, then you can manhandle people all the time."
Kuramochi laughs. "There's no fun in it if they give me permission. Oh, and I have something for you." He lets go of Ryousuke, steps back so he can search through his pockets, finally coming out with a shiny black button, and distantly he hears Zono make some kind of amused comment. "I saved you my second button."
Someone whistles, it sounds like Miyuki, and Kuramochi blushes, opens his mouth enough to slide the button onto his tongue, then he leans in and kisses Ryousuke.
It's a little shaky and nervous, because everyone is watching, whistles and catcalls across the field and a loud cheer from Sawamura, but Ryousuke licks the button from his tongue, and that's all that matters.
When he pulls back, he's blushing like he learned it from Haruichi, and he leans to whisper in Ryousuke's ear, "I know you're Harucchi's, but I've had that planned since first year. I hope you don't mind."
Ryousuke laughs quiet, and takes the button out of his mouth before he swallows it. "I'd have been disappointed if I didn't get it, actually."
"You arrogant bastard." He laughs, and Ryousuke kisses him again, just to keep him blushing. Then they step apart, and Kuramochi has to shout at everyone, "Alright, show's over, nothing to see here folks, move along!"
Miyuki calls out a taunt, and Kuramochi's off chasing him, running intentionally too slow to catch him, and Ryousuke feels a little sentimental tug, back to when he belonged on this field. Zono's been dragged off by some of the first years, eager for last-minute advice, so Ryousuke leans over on Haruichi, catches his hand discreetly between them. "Your turn next year."
"Shh, don't remind me." He pinches Ryousuke when he starts to laugh, elbows him when it still doesn't stop him. "That was cute though, with Youichi. I got pictures."
Ryousuke grins at that. "Good. I bet we can blackmail him later."
"Aniki...."
"I know, I'm kidding, I wouldn't do that. Send them to me though."
"I will, I will." Haruichi sighs, and watches as Kuramochi finally tackles Miyuki, Sawamura crying something about defending senpai's honor, and leaping on top of the pile. Haruichi sighs yet again. "Is he really almost a third year?"
"Yep." Ryousuke laughs, watches them all roll through the grass. "It's a crazy world."
"And in a few weeks, you'll be an actual adult, which is even crazier." Haruichi smiles, and he doesn't say, but they're both thinking, only one year left until they're together, one year left to work hard. He dares a kiss to Ryousuke's cheek, then tugs on his hand to get him walking. "Come on, let's go karate chop some people."
Ryousuke cackles, flexes and stretches his fingers. "I like the way you think."
"I know. I'm the best."
Of course, Haruichi gets the first chop.