Chapter Text
Kathryn couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so free. After months of being questioned, heralded, condemned and finally celebrated, the debriefings had ended. It was a heady feeling, to know her entire crew could choose their future as they pleased, and she was able to do the same.
To celebrate, the entire crew had gone out to dinner one last time together. Though many of them had been done with their part of the interviews for weeks, she and Chakotay had finished just this morning. She couldn’t help but think, for not the first time since they had come home, she thanked any god who would listen for his steady, familiar presence in her life.
Tonight, he looked better than she had ever seen him, his posture relaxed and his smile broad and genuine, as he made the rounds in a simple white dress shirt and black slacks.
She felt his eyes on her more than once tonight, though she attributed it to how much time they had spent together these last several weeks. Late dinners pouring over PADDS and writing reports to the specifications of Starfleet headquarters had been a staple in their daily lives, and she was grateful for the opportunity to spend time with him again as friends and aways from the constant pressure of command.
It seemed to pass too quickly, but soon she found herself gathered in warm hugs and firm handshakes as everyone departed. As wonderful as it was to know they were happy and home, she felt a pang of sadness at watching her crew scatter to the winds.
Katheyn smoothed a hand gently over her short navy dress and tucked a few wayward strands behind her ear. It was harder than she thought, to close this chapter of her life.
She felt his solid, warm form behind her as she buttoned her coat, calling her back to hundreds of moments over the last 7 years when she was bolstered by him at her back.
“Want to get some coffee?” His voice was warm and relaxed in her ear, and she could hear his smile
She felt the soft hum of joy run though her, “Sure, let’s head over to my apartment. It’ll even make you non-replicated tea if you’re lucky.”
He grinned and offered his arm companionably, “Sounds great.”
**************************
It was late, nearly midnight and her face ached from smiling and laughing, but it was a wondrous, unfamiliar feeling she wouldn’t trade for anything. Chakotay relaxed not far from her on the couch, their renewed ease at being together reflected in his posture. He was leaning back, long legs stretched out in front of him, his features warm and content.
She knew they should call it a night, but she was reluctant to close the book on this day, seven years in the making.
Kathryn idly traced a finger over the rim of her coffee mug, tucking a leg under her body. She felt awash in joy and relief. To be here, in this moment, with this man, filled her heart to the brim.
But as a cup of coffee became two, then three, she found herself gazing at the man next to her.
The air between them was different tonight, though they had been spending more and more time together since their return. A crackle, an electric pulse, permeated the small space between them.
She took scandalous delight in the previously forbidden small acts: on the ability to let eyes linger a little longer on his mouth when he spoke, to rest her hand on his thigh as they laughed, to brush her body against his as they moved in the kitchen.
When he bit his lip and let his gaze drift idly down her body she wondered if she was losing her mind. He was her friend…..her best friend….who she occasionally still imagined naked…...
Whoa there, Kathryn.
With that delicious thought still twisting in her mind she startled as he spoke. His voice was deceptively calm despite the weight of his words
“I want to take you to bed.”
Kathryn coughed hard, sputtering as coffee flew from her lips and she straighted up on the couch next to him. She laid her cup on the table with an aggressive thunk and looked at him, still choking and absolutely stunned.
Fuck.
“To bed?”
His mouth curved in an amused smile, but his eyes darkened, and any woman, even one who hadn't had sex in the better part of a decade, could see he was being absolutely serious.
Wait, had it really been that long? Good god, she was in trouble.
It had been too long since she’d done this dance and she was afraid she’d forgotten the steps. The give and take of flirtation and desire and sex. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to mull this over or strip her clothes off and jump in his lap.
Her body was currently hoping for the latter.
She swallowed and cleared her throat, reason winning over lust, “Chakotay….I don’t know what to say.”
He inched infinitesimally closer, and she found herself gazing at the open neck of his white button-down shirt, the tan lines of his throat. When had she forgotten how beautiful he was?
“Say yes, Kathryn." He paused and leaned forward, angling his body toward hers.
She held her breath, her pulse quickening.
"I know what its like to want someone who doesn’t want me back, and I’m fairly sure that’s not the case here. I don't think it's ever been the case.” There was a confidence in his tone that made her both aroused and annoyed.
The arrogance of this damn man.
It was completely irrelevant that he was justified in it, with those streaks of salt and pepper in his hair, the soft lines that crinkled in the corners of his eyes…...that mouth……...
She was suddenly painfully distracted by his nearness, his scent, and the fact that he was looking at her in a way she hadn’t even considered for years.
Like he wanted to eat her alive.
It was disorienting and delicious and she needed to do something to calm the curl of arousal that was currently gathering low in her belly.
Get a grip, Kathryn.
Chakotay raised his eyebrows at her questioningly as she stood quickly, efficiently gathering up their empty cups and turning to face him. Putting some distance between their bodies helped with her next words, “As tempting as that sounds….I’m not sure it's that simple for me. Its not at all that I don’t want to, I just…...I just need to think.”
She turned and walked to the small kitchen with much more authority than she felt.
Every nerve in her body screamed in protest as she gently set the cups in the sink. There, just a few minutes and she would calm down and deal with this in he morning. They would talk and perhaps set a date for dinner. That's how these things were done.
Right?
She waited for the gentle click of the door as he said good night, but it didn’t come.
Instead, after a minute, she felt the warm press of his body against her back and the heat of his breath on her neck.
Oh hell, that felt glorious. Even his breath smelled good.
She felt a tremor run though her as his fingertips skimmed her arm. His quiet chuckle told her he hadn't missed it either.
“Okay, Kathryn….why don’t you think while I talk?” his deep voice in her ear was pure sin and she couldn’t help but press her thighs together at his words.
“This may not be what you think you need, but I’m pretty sure it's what you want. You've been alone for too long and I know there is a passionate, wonderful, and sexy as hell woman in there who is dying to get out.”
His fingers danced across her hip, his hand settling warm on her stomach and she couldn’t help but squirm as his lips brushed her neck in a clear declaration of intimacy.
“And yes, Kathryn, I’m talking about sex. The kind of sex that wrecks you, lays you out and leaves you too shaky to pour that enormous cup of coffee you drink every morning.”
His mouth sucked a pulse point behind her ear as his large hand urged her body backward, drawing a gasp from her at the stiff pressure of his arousal against her lower back.
"And just to clarify, I don't want simple. I want messy and beautiful and damn exhilarating. And, trust me, it will be." God, this man.
Involuntarily, she felt her head roll back a little, opening her neck for the eager exploration of his mouth.
“Give me a night in your bed, Kathryn. I can make it so good for you, there are so many ways. Anything you want….anything….all you have to do is ask.” His words were low and urgent, spokenly hotly against her skin like a brand.
She swore she could hear the crack as, at those words, the last of her resolve broke.