Chapter Text
Every one of Launchpad’s exes are better thanks to him. Sure, they would leave him slightly heartbroken with each break up but he will never hold a grudge. As long as they were happy during their time together, that was all that mattered. But there is an exception to every rule. One relationship did turn sour. Could dating yourself get on your own nerves? Yes, it can. At least to Launchpad’s clone.
At first, the clone didn’t understand why he was into himself. Initially, it was the physical attraction. Launchpad is a handsome man, taller and more muscular than most, if not all of the avian citizens in Duckburg. Clone Launchpad reasoned the other level of attraction stemmed from the original’s sweet innocence and positivity. As he spent more time with Launchpad, he learned that the original is a moron. While a wonderful caring boyfriend, Original Launchpad is stupid beyond belief.
That’s where the two deviated in personalities. They both are adventurous thrill seekers and enjoyed campy 90’s TV shows, but Clone Launchpad was suave, smarter, faster and overall better. He tolerated the idiot for a while. The original couldn’t just keep up with his superior intellect. Clone Launchpad found himself wondering if there was a trace of himself buried in the original’s subconscious. How could they be so different? As smart as he is, he just could not find how they were so different.
When the Original Launchpad opened up to him, exposing his vulnerability, his clone grew frustrated. He understood the root of his own irritation: his original self was pathetically insecure. Always going on about how he wasn’t enough and he could do more but always makes mistakes. The insecurities made sense, he does crash and break things frequently. Maybe the original isn’t as stupid he seems, or he just so happens to be self aware. Finally the clone decided to terminate the relationship. It did not go the way he planned.
This was Original Launchpad’s first breakup. He’s used to people breaking up with him. They’re moving onto bigger and more dangerous things. He hid his heartbreak behind a smiling facade. Each break up drove home how he isn’t good enough. He knows he isn’t the sharpest crayon in the box (speaking of, he needs to buy more), but he could tell when the adventure was coming to an end. He knows his clone has the potential to do bigger and better things. He may as well get the heartbreak over with.
It’s hard to break up with someone you still care about. It’s for the best, though. ‘I’m holding you back. It’s not you, it’s me. You’ve made me a better person.” Launchpad used every reason he has been told before. Clone Launchpad sat watching Launchpad’s hands move frantically and curled his beak when he noticed Launchpad was barely able to make eye contact. He was more annoyed over that than the break up. This guy is saying the most cliche lines in the book and isn’t man enough to look him in the eyes. He faked his way through the “I understand”s and the “I wish you well in the future” BS.
Launchpad apologized one last time before the clone abruptly got up and left the table without so much as a goodbye. The original watched him go with all of his fingers tapping on his coffee mug. He may as well chalk this up as a learning opportunity: every break up hurts, even when you are the one who does the breaking up.
The clone fumed. He couldn’t bring himself to look back at the milquetoast man behind him. He couldn't even look him in the eyes. He couldn’t complete one sentence without tripping over his words! Worst of all, he was the one who broke up with him. It should have been the other way around. Now what?
Months later, Launchpad was hired on at Scrooge McDuck’s chauffeur and (unofficial) pilot. He was living his best life. A globe-trotting adventure every week with new friends and family? Good deal! Clone Launchpad found himself under some new employment, too. After responding to a job opening working security for a lab in Duckburg, he was hired almost immediately. He’s too great to not nail the interview. He still harbored resentment for his original self and would occasionally check in from time to time. Just make sure he was doing better than him.
As it turns out, the job was working for a secret organization called FOWL. Fiendish Organization for World something, he didn’t care enough to know. Working for an covert organization is right up his alley, even if the uniforms were really weird. Eggheads? Really, how lame can you get? Regardless, working for FOWL is so much better than being a chauffeur.
This was an opportunity to make a name for himself. Enforce the fact he is the better Launchpad. When he took the job, he was ordered to give himself a new name. He had always gone by Launchpad when he was on his lonesome. When he was dating Launchpad, he was known as Clone Launchpad and the other was Original Launchpad. It was annoying to always be seen as the clone, but it can't really be helped when you are the clone. Forget Clone Launchpad; he is now Egghead 54.
After a year or so of working for FOWL, Clone Launchpad moved up the ranks from grunt to admin. He doesn't have level of authority that Agent Steelbeak or Agent Black Heron have but that doesn’t mean he won’t get there. Ambition fueled him. Someday, he will stand among the chief agents of FOWL. The only person he will have to take orders from is Director Buzzard. No longer will he have to put up with that birdbrain Steelbeak ordering him around. There have been so many times 54 has wanted to punch that damn rooster in the face. Infighting between agents is strictly prohibited and enforced. FOWL is reigning in chaos, not creating more of it.
Much to Clone Launchpad's relief, no one questioned why he looks just like McDuck’s chauffeur. There was no doubt the smarter agents of FOWL knew that there was something going on there, and if it were ever mentioned he’d lie and claim they were cousins. When he was promoted to an admin, he was privy to information he never would have access to when working as a grunt. Most of the information he couldn’t give two shits about. The end goal of FOWL is to get rid of the McDuck family. That doesn’t just mean Scrooge and the blood relatives but everyone close. That includes the original Launchpad. That was all he really cared about.
FOWL always had eyes on the McDucks. It’s so much easier to keep an eye on Launchpad now. No more running around town looking for that damn limo or plane. Cunning and savvy as he is, 54 did not brave sneaking onto the grounds of McDuck Manor. He’s smart enough to evade detection, but even if he was caught, it wasn’t worth any criminal charges. FOWL’s constant surveillance is so much better than physically following himself around.
54 understood why Director Bradford wanted to be rid of this family. Chaos truly ruled Duckburg. A whole bunch of Harpies raided the town. There was a money-eating shark running (swimming?) around at some point. An ugly zombie chased one of the kids around while destroying the city. Aliens from the moon fucking invaded! Worst of all, an actor from his favorite TV show died on the set of a movie at McDuck studios.
The original Launchpad was there. In fact, he brought Jim Starling to the set and did nothing to save him. 54 just resented the original. After hearing of Starling’s death, the resentment turned into a hardened grudge. Oh, what he would give to beat the hell out of his other self.
He was on assignment in St. Canard when he heard that Launchpad and the weird blue kid infiltrated the FOWL’s base. He got wind that the original Launchpad was acting differently. Some Eggheads joked that it was 54 wearing Steelbeak’s suits to make fun of the rooster and find a way to fight him.
Alas it wasn't 54 kicking the agent's ass. The original got to fight Steelbeak. It just wasn’t fair. He could argue he fought Steelbeak by proxy, but that's a bit of a stretch.
Going back and watching the footage, he realized that the reports were true; Original Launchpad was acting differently. Launchpad was smooth, calculating, charming, and a much better fighter than expected. 54 isn't an anomoly. Somewhere buried inside of Launchpad mind is the source of 54's intelligence. What changed? The IntelleRay changed him. Fortunately after Steelbeak’s plan failed (much to the clone’s mirth), the duck was returned to his idiot self.
More time passed. Clone Launchpad was again on assignment in Valhalla when Launchpad and this new “Darkwing Duck” broke into Taurus Bulba’s lab. After the events in St. Canard reveled the existence of FOWL, Director Buzzard scattered operatives all over the state of Calisota. Though FOWL was no longer a secret organization, the revelation ended up being a blessing in disguise.
Director Bradford assigned 54 to oversee the Mouseton branch. Bradford was so impressed with the clone’s work. He was deserving of a promotion. “Now, 54 your work these past few months have been very impressive. Your reports are unparalleled and the operation in Valhalla could not have gone better if any of the higher ranking agents had done it themselves. With that being said, I am putting you in charge of Mouseton’s operations. Do you think you are up to the task?”
Finally! After months of toiling around doing basic grunt work to administrative task work, it was damn time to be given the promotion he deserved. “Yes, sir!”
Bradford put a badge down on the table. “Excellent. Congratulations on your promotion, Agent 54.”
Without a doubt, he is better than Launchpad.