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I’ve always known there was something special about Beca from the moment I met her. It wasn’t love at first sight. I didn’t fall for her straight away. Not even after I busted in her shower where we sang to each other naked. It was a slow and almost torturous process. Everyone else knew it before we did. But when we finally got there it was all worth it. It was everything. I finally got the girl.
I always had fantasies about meeting the one and having a soul mate and we were one of the lucky ones. I know Beca’s the one. Even before we started dating, I told Beca things I never told anyone else. Not even Aubrey. And I know she was the same to me. We easily became each other’s comfort blankets.
She was there for me when I was lost and had no idea what to do with my life. She was patient when I was undecided and kept changing my mind. I was always envious with how Beca just knew what she wanted to become. From day one she said to me she wanted to make music and I witnessed how she went for it.
It was one of the things I admired the most about her. Although there were times when Beca needed a little push. We all need that sometimes and I never tired of reminding her just how talented she is and that she was made for this.
I was always one to tell her how much I believed in her and it warmed my heart how she came out of her shell and started believing in herself more and more. She was still insecure, we all are. I have always known about her insecurities. She never shied them away from me. I had mine and we both tried to work through them together.
When at first I wanted to become a teacher, Beca was behind me the whole time. It was her turn to cheer me on. In less than a year, I found that it wasn’t for me. She remained supportive when I told her I didn’t want to be a teacher anymore.
Then when I wanted to become a nurse, Beca was there for me like always. I was just so sure this time that this was my calling in life. That didn’t last long and I was back to square one. She didn’t judge me and she never left my side.
When I got a job as a vet’s assistant, I decided to pursue veterinary medicine. It was going to be a four-year course and if it weren’t for Beca helping me out with the preparations and the applications, I wouldn’t have pushed through with it. When everyone else was skeptical, Beca never once made me feel that this was just another phase I was going through. It didn’t feel like she was waiting for me to quit and change my mind again.
Now I finally got it right. Things were going better than ever. We’ve been together for years now. Beca’s a producer and I’m a vet. We even bought a house together. Every year when we attended reunions and weddings, people ask us when our turn was going to be.
I don’t blame them; it was the next step in our relationship. We would laugh it off every time the girls tease us about marriage. I wasn’t pressured about it. I knew it was going to happen someday. At our own pace, I would always tell Beca.
We had about three to four reunions every year, but Beca started missing out on them. She has missed the last three times we all got together. We would argue about it but I try my best to understand.
I could tell Beca was overworked but she didn’t let up. She hasn’t been sleeping well and she hasn’t been taking care of herself. I tried to help her by making sure she ate and prepared her coffee in the mornings before leaving for work. Other times I force her to come to bed with me almost dragging her away from her home office.
Not long after I opened my own clinic, Beca quit her job at Residual Heat and accepted the offer of another recording company. She didn’t talk to me about it and I only found out through social media and articles online.
When I asked Beca about it, it blew up and we had a huge argument about something I don’t even remember what about and it ended up with her walking out. It was the first time she’s walked out on me since we started dating. I was too stunned to even process what just happened. I think I was standing in the middle of our living room for a good ten minutes just staring at the door.
I pretended to sleep when I heard her enter our room. She went straight to me and just held me.
“I’m so sorry Chlo. I didn’t mean anything I said.”
“Don’t ever do that again.” I try to say sternly but my voice cracked at the end.
“I won’t. I’m sorry. I was just so frustrated and angry. I didn’t want to take it out on you.”
I nodded and I felt her kiss the side of my head as she held me tighter. We fell asleep like that.
Neither of us said it out loud but work was getting to us and it was putting a strain on our once unbreakable bond. It also wasn’t the last time she would walk out on me after that. The arguments became more frequent and we would be screaming at each other. It was a never-ending cycle and it almost always ends up with Beca walking out on me.
It didn’t help that we had conflicting and hectic schedules. We barely had time for each other. Our downtime was spent mostly catching up on more work or sleep. Gone are the days where we had weekly date nights and where we were each other’s automatic plus ones at work events.
One night I came home a bit tipsy. It’s been a long week and when some of my colleagues invited me for drinks, I figured it would be a good way to unwind from the tough week we just had. Don’t get me wrong I love my job but some days were just so draining. During times like these I would usually rush home and seek comfort in Beca.
I saw Beca at her usual spot on the couch with her laptop and headphones on. She hasn’t looked up. I wasn’t sure whether she was waiting for me or if she’s heard me come in.
I made my way to where Beca was and pulled on her headphones. Beca smiles up to me at first and takes her headphones from me and sets it aside.
“Hey where’ve you been?”
“Just a few drinks after work. I sent you messages and tried calling. You should’ve joined us.”
“Sorry about that. I turned off my phone. There’s no way I was going to finish this and make the deadline with Theo calling me every five minutes.”
I didn’t respond anymore and started trailing kisses around Beca’s jaw and neck. I was satisfied with myself when Beca set aside her laptop as well. I straddled her as soon as that was out of the way and started kissing Beca harder.
I pulled back to remove my shirt and tossed it somewhere then went back to kissing Beca. My hands started to work on the buttons on Beca’s shirt. I was halfway when I noticed Beca wasn’t as into this as I was. Her hands were just lazily on my hips and her kisses weren’t meeting the intensity of my kisses.
I opened my eyes to meet hers and I furrowed my brows. “What? What’s wrong?”
Beca looked away and sighed. I tried to force her to look at me. She kept avoiding my gaze and she looked conflicted and I knew that look too well. I could already feel my anger rising.
“It’s just that. Chlo you’re drunk and I-” Beca started to ramble.
“I’m not even that drunk. And even if I was, so what? It’s not like you’re taking advantage of me here. I think we’re way past that. Don’t you think?” My voice was starting to rise.
“I know I know. That’s not what I meant. It’s just that I really really have to finish working on this track. Why don’t you go to bed and I’ll follow in an hour tops I promise?”
I stared at her in disbelief. She was still not making eye contact. She’s rejecting me and it hurts. I almost begged for it. I wanted to tell her I just needed a release but this was a side of her that was new to me. And honestly she already killed the mood.
“I don’t mean anything by it Chlo. I promise I’ll make it up to you as soon as I finish.”
I lifted myself off of her and didn’t even bother to look for my shirt. I was still in disbelief and just wanted to curl up in a ball under the covers.
“It’s okay. Take your time.” I managed to say as I walked away.
“I love you?” Beca called out to me.
I stopped in my tracks but could only shake my head and continued to walk to our room. I didn’t say it back. I showered and went to bed. I still tried to wait for her even when I was like a lost puppy licking my wounds. I don’t even remember when I fell asleep.
There was a time when we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves. A time when we craved each other’s presence so much that the absence of one was deeply felt by the other. When we finally got together and kissed for the first time, there were fireworks and so much relief. It was the best thing that’s ever happened.
I don’t know when or how it happened. We live in the same house and sleep in the same bed but we no no longer wake up tangled into one another. When did we start running out of things to talk about? When did we stop reaching out to each other? When did the fire stop burning?
The last straw was when we had another argument. It was my fault. I forgot we had plans and it just slipped my mind. When I got home, the room was dimly lit. I saw the romantic set up at our dining table and Beca was sitting on the couch with her arms and legs crossed.
I was too tired and I apologized right away. Beca wouldn’t let it go. It was another scream fest.
“Don’t you dare walk away!” I shouted when I saw Beca was looking around for her car keys.
She ignored me and grabbed her keys and her phone. “I swear to god Beca. If you walk out that door, I won’t be here when you get back.”
“I just need to clear my mind. I can’t even look at you right now.”
Beca had her hand on the handle.
“I’m serious. The moment you walk out that door, you’re walking out on me and this relationship.”
“I’ll be back I promise. I just need some space.”
“I’m not going to be here when you get back.” I was already crying and I’m sure Beca knew that. I wanted to run to her and keep her from getting away but I was rooted in place.
“I’m sorry Chlo. I won’t be long I promise.”
Then Beca was out the door. I choked out a sob I was holding as soon as she did.
I decided to clean up first. I knew I was buying her time. I kept thinking I could hear Beca come in and would stare at the door but nothing. There was nothing. By the time I was done cleaning up, I decided to give Beca another ten minutes to come back to me. An hour passed by and my tear-stained cheeks have dried, I got up and went to grab a suitcase.
I was crying again as I was packing. I never even imagined I would get to this point ever. I knew there was no way I could drive in this state so I called Aubrey.
Aubrey arrived as soon as she could. I could see she was confused. I’ve never called her before for something like this. She could tell it was serious when she saw me standing next to two suitcases. She didn’t say anything and just helped me with my things and lead me to her car.
***
I avoided Beca like the plague after that. I even got rid of my sim card and bought a new one and I blocked her in all my socials.
Beca would ambush me outside of the clinic and kept sending me flowers. She would beg me all the way to my car. There was even a time when she stood in front of my car to keep me from driving away. Sometimes I think it was pride that kept me from giving her another chance.
I was driving home from work when it hit me. LA reminded me too much of Beca. I couldn’t even get out of the house cause I was too anxious to run into her. It got so bad that I put my clinic up for sale and decided to move back to Florida to be closer to my parents.
I only told Aubrey about my plans. She said she was going to miss me but she also understood that I have to do what I think was best for me. She would try to talk me into giving Beca a chance and hear her side of the story but I was being stubborn. I still loved her. I know deep down in my heart I still love Beca but that’s the thing. I’ve long accepted the fact that whether or not we get back together, I will always love her.
I got a job at one of the bigger animal hospitals in Orlando. I moved a week before my first day at work. I was out house hunting and have been driving around the whole morning. This was the third house I was going to be looking at. I couldn’t decide because the moment I step in I’m already thinking how Beca’s stuff would fit in nicely in certain areas. Maybe I should just rent a one-bedroom studio apartment.
I was stopped at an intersection staring at the red light waiting for it to turn green. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel along with the music and stepped on the pedal as soon as it changed.
There was a loud crash and then it was all black….
***
“Extra pencils? Eraser? IDs?”
“Bec. Relax I have everything. You’re more nervous than I am.”
“I’m not. I’m sorry. I should take it down a notch.” Beca grabbed both my shoulders. “I am so proud of you. You’re gonna smash this test.” She quickly gives me a peck on the lips. “And I’ll be right here waiting for you when you finish and we’ll order take out and beer and snuggle.”
It was my turn to give Beca a kiss. “I’ll see you after. Now go home and rest. You don’t usually have days off.”
“Don’t worry about me. Today is about you. I love you.”
“I love you too. Catch you later.” I winked at her before turning around and walked towards the doors.
I looked back one more time and Beca was waving at me and blowing me kisses. I’ll never forget how adorable she was then. She was never that excited when it came to her own endeavors.
***
“I missed you. I’m never accepting any offsite jobs without you ever again. It was so lonely.”
“Quit exaggerating. I saw your hotel. It was so fancy. It was like you went on a vacation.”
“Yeah well it didn’t matter cause you weren’t there. No 5 star hotel can compensate for you not being there.”
Beca’s such a softie.
***
“Hey Chlo. Come here for a sec please. I’m stuck and I need your opinion on something.”
I was about to take the seat next to her when Beca pulled me to sit on her lap. Then she grabbed the headphones and kissed my scrunched up nose before putting them on me.
I always loved the way Beca would watch me closely waiting for my reaction to her music. It used to make me self-conscious. I remember one time I pulled a prank on her and pretended I didn’t like it. I took it back as soon as I saw her face fell.
***
“Hey you okay? You know they’re just teasing, right?”
“I know. But you’re not like getting impatient, are you?”
“What? Of course not. Bec. It’s not like I lay awake waiting for you to propose to me.”
“Okay. But if ever you do get impatient, can you just let me know straight up? You know how bad I am at reading signals.”
“You’re so full of yourself sometimes.”
“What? I’m serious.”
“I’m not itching to get married to you.” I teased her. “In my mind we’re already married.”
Beca raised her eyebrows at that. “Is that so? Well slow it down a bit, I would want to properly propose and put a ring on that finger.” She reached for my left hand and kissed my knuckles.
“I’ll give you a clue then. I don’t want anything grand or in public. I swear if you propose in public I’m saying no.”
“We’ll see about that.”
“I will!”
“Whatever you say.”
***
“Chlo wake up. You’re going to be late!”
“Ten more minutes.”
“No. You have to get up now. You wouldn’t want to miss this.”
“Seven minutes.”
“No now.”
“What’s in it for me?”
“You’ll see.”
***
I slowly opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. White walls surrounded me and there was a beeping machine next to me. I tried to lift my right hand but there was something heavy leaning against it. I slowly turned my head to look and found Beca sleeping on my bedside. She had both her hands around mine.
I tried to speak but nothing came out. My throat was so dry and I was parched. I tried to lift my right hand again and Beca suddenly woke up from the slight movement.
“Oh my god you’re awake.”
She didn’t let go of my hand and she started to cry. She stroke my face and my hair with her other hand after pressing a button from behind me. Then she buried her face on my hand and just cried. I wanted so much to comfort her but I couldn’t move.
“Bec. Why are you crying so much?” I was finally able to croak out.
She refused to let go of my hand and wiped her tears with her free hand. She was shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I’m just so happy. I thought I lost you for good. Thank you for coming back.”
Before I could ask questions, several people entered the room. There were doctors and nurses and my parents. My parents ran to my other side and that’s when I felt Beca starting to let go of my hand. I held on tighter with all of my strength and she looks down at our hands.
She looks at me then slowly nods and intertwined our fingers. “I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Welcome back. Can you state your full name please and date of birth.” One of the doctors said to me.
I cleared my throat. “Chloe Beale. 7th of June 1990. What happened?”
“Just a couple more questions Ms Beale. Do you know what date it is?”
I try to rack my brain for that one. My head hurt just thinking of the date today. “Uhm it’s. I think 3rd or 4th of February 2021.”
I saw everyone looked around and exchanged worried looks. I looked to Beca who just gave me an encouraging nod and gave my hand another squeeze.
“Do you know where you are?”
“Orlando, Florida.”
“Very good. Well done. Now you’re right. Your car accident was on the night of the 3rd of February this year here in Orlando. Ms Beale today is the 29th of July 2021. Your accident was almost five months ago. You’ve been in a coma since. Now we will run a few tests and observe you for a few more days. If it all goes well then you’re free to go home.”
Five months. I couldn’t believe it. I was out for that long. Then it comes crashing down on me. I was driving and I was staring at the light. I was at an intersection. My parents were crying on my other side but they were smiling. My mom kept kissing me on the side of my head.
“Okay I’ll let you settle down for a little bit before we run the tests. We will be back later today. Don’t hesitate to call us for anything.”
My parents kept hugging and kissing me before excusing themselves so me and Beca can talk.
“Hey. Does it hurt anywhere?” She asked once we were alone. I could tell she was nervous.
“My head does kinda hurt.”
Beca was worried the moment I said it. “Should we call the doctors back or the nurses?”
“I’m fine. What are you doing here? When did you arrive?”
“I’m still your emergency contact. I came as soon as I heard what happened. God, it was the single most terrifying moment in my life. I know I may be the last person you want to see.”
Five months. I’ve been out for five months. “Wait you’ve been here for five months? But what about your job in LA?”
“That’s not important. You shouldn’t be worrying about that. That’s the last thing you should be thinking about.”
“But Beca, that job meant so much to you.”
“No. You mean so much more than my job. It’s just a job. Besides we worked something out that allowed me to be here and take care of you. Please don’t think about it. You should be resting.”
“I know I tried to cut you out of my life but.”
“I deserved it.”
“But I’m glad you’re here. There’s no one else I’d rather wake up to. I’m really happy to see you. I’m sorry I let my pride take over.” I couldn’t stop letting out a yawn.
“Shh. Let’s not talk about that now. Why don’t you try to get some sleep?”
I was fighting sleep because I was scared that this was all a dream and I wake up Beca is gone again. “Promise you’ll be here?”
“I promise I’ll be here when you wake up. I’m not going anywhere this time.”
“Even if it’s another five months?”
“Not funny Chlo.”
I chuckled. “It’s a little funny.” I already had my eyes closed. I felt Beca’s lips on my forehead.
“But yes I will still be here even if it’s another five months.” She whispered.
That was the last thing I heard as I drifted off to sleep.