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It was supposed to be a nice Saturday date. They were going to go out for breakfast, then catch an early showing of that new movie. It wasn’t going to be romantic (because their dates never were) but it was going to be nice—a good way to pass the time. However, this was Derby Harrington she was dealing with. He was the very definition of self-absorbed.
Pinky showed up at the restaurant early because not only did she hate being kept waiting, she hated keeping people waiting, as well. She hung around outside the restaurant for five minutes, continually checking her phone for a text to indicate he was close. Five minutes turned to ten, which turned to fifteen, which turned to losing their reservation because he no-showed. Okay, fine, he’d done this before. She knew how to handle it: go in and bribe the hostess, and they’d get their table back. Rather, she’d get her table back because Derby would never show up. Pinky wondered whether it was worth it to spend yet another meal alone before deciding that no, it wasn’t worth it. She was worth a lot more than a table for one, and simply decided to catch the new movie. She rather enjoyed it, but it wasn’t enough to erase her anger and frustration at being stood up again.
When she got back to Harrington House, instead of doing her homework (it could always be done tomorrow), she decided to treat herself to a nice, relaxing day. If no one else was going to do it, she’d do it herself. Pinky grabbed a bottle of soda from the fridge and sat on the sofa in the foyer, grabbing a magazine from the coffee table. Just as she got absorbed into the latest gossip, her light reading was interrupted by someone slamming the front door. It was Bif.
“Hey, Bif!” Pinky greeted him once he stormed into the foyer. “Who’s got you all riled up?”
“Derby,” he answered through gritted teeth. “God, that guy can be such a dick.”
“Oh, tell me about it.”
“He thinks he can order me around all the time, like I don’t have my own shit to do! Just this morning, he came and pounded on my door to demand we go and train. I went with him, obviously, but then he went and tried to get me to pick a fight with the Greasers by myself! It’s like he wanted to get me killed!”
“So that’s where he was this morning.”
“What, he stood you up again?”
“You know it. I have to break off that engagement. I don’t care what my parents say anymore.”
“Good for you.”
“Either way, I’m sure you would be fine if you took on the Greasers by yourself. You’re the champ for a reason!”
“I guess, but that’s not the point. The point is he thinks he can treat me like a workhorse, that I have to be at his beck and call at all times. I get I’m his ‘bodyguard’ or whatever, and it’s not like I hate him, but I don’t want to follow him around all the time! I like doing my own thing sometimes! Not everything I do has to relate to him.”
“So what did you do? You just left?”
“Left him right at the entrance to New Coventry. I’ll get shit from him later, but whatever. I’m done with him right now.”
“Well, I know what’ll cheer you up. There’s a bunch of sodas in the fridge. Go get one.”
He did as she suggested before sitting on the opposite end of the couch from Pinky, still stewing in anger. He even opened and drank his soda angrily, which she found hilarious, but she didn’t laugh at it. That would be rude.
They sat in silence for a few minutes after that, Pinky turning her attention back to her magazine as Bif focused on cooling off when the front door was opened once more. It didn’t slam this time, however.
Tad came walking in through the entrance hall this time, fists clenched and his head down. He didn’t seem as angry as Bif was, but he was certainly upset about something.
“What’s wrong, Tad?” Pinky asked, her attention once more being directed away from her magazine.
“Stupid Derby, that’s what’s wrong,” Tad said, not really looking up at them. He wasn’t putting on his fake British accent anymore.
“Join the club,” Bif said with a sigh. “There’s sodas in the fridge, if you want. Maybe it’ll help you feel better.”
“Maybe.”
He didn’t sound too convinced, but he went to get a drink anyway. They waited for him to sit on the couch with them before asking any more questions.
“So what happened with Derby?” Bif asked when he sat down.
“Well, I went out to look for him earlier, for there was something I needed to speak with him about,” Tad began, fake accent back but not yet fully confident. “I managed to find him waiting around near the entrance of New Coventry, for some reason.”
“That would be my fault. I left him there after he tried to get me to fight all of the Greasers by myself.”
“...I see. Either way, I told him we needed to discuss something, and he gave me the go ahead. I said my piece, but once I was finished, he just started insulting me, talking about my father, his business, and how I was already lucky to be in the Preppies in the first place, so I shouldn’t come to him with ‘ridiculous rumors like these.’ He called me a social climber, for God’s sake.”
“Oh, Tad, that’s horrible,” Pinky said, setting her drink on the side table to put an arm around his shoulder. “What did you need? Maybe we can help.”
“Ah, it really wasn’t anything important. Derby was right, I shouldn’t have come to him with it in the first place.”
“That still doesn’t warrant being called a social climber,” Bif said into his soda bottle. “I can’t believe he’s managed to piss off all three of us today.”
“I can,” Pinky said. “That’s his specialty.”
“Why? What happened to you two?” Tad asked.
“He stood me up again.”
“He keeps ordering me around.”
“I see.”
“You know what?” Pinky began, standing up from the sofa. “Having a soda pity-party is fun and all, but we deserve something better. We can’t let that dick ruin our Saturday, so how about we have our own fun?”
“Yeah, I’m down with that,” Bif said, standing up as well. “You think we can get some food? I’m starving.”
“I’m not particularly hungry,” Tad continued, “but if you want lunch, I shall come with you two. Anywhere is better than moping around here.”
“Well, since I skipped breakfast, it’s settled!” Pinky smiled. “I’m treating you both to lunch. Come on, I know a great restaurant.”
Pinky took Tad and Bif to the restaurant she and Derby were going to have their date at. She was the one who chose it initially, and she was right to do so; the food was delicious. Afterwards, they decided to go to the carnival, where Pinky asked the boys to win her a prize. They managed to get her a stuffed rabbit from the prize tent, which was immediately displayed on her shelf. All in all, it was a great day, and all three of them managed to feel better after Derby brought them down.
Pinky expected their little outing to be a one-time thing. Derby was a dick, sure, but he couldn’t be a dick to all three of them on the same day again, right?
Wrong.
The next time it happened, Tad was the first of the trio lounging around on the couch with a soda.
“What happened, Pinky?” Tad asked, once she came through the front door.
“Derby happened,” she fumed. “I tried breaking off the engagement today, but he wouldn’t hear it!”
“He wouldn’t let you break it off?”
“No, he literally wouldn’t hear it. He wasn’t listening to me at all! I’m going to try again later, but I’m giving up for now because he just made me so frustrated! I need something to make me feel better. Are there any more sodas in the fridge?”
“Only a few. Someone is going to have to get more.”
“Well, it won’t be me. Let’s make Derby do it.”
“If you manage that, call me up and we’ll buy a lottery ticket. We don’t even need it, but it would feel nice to win, you know?”
“Oh, I know.”
Pinky got her soda and sat down next to Tad on the couch.
“So what happened to you?” Pinky asked, taking a sip of her drink. “You’re not generally a soda drinker.”
“Oh, I know,” Tad sighed. “It’s Derby again, same thing as it was before; insults upon insults.”
“What a dick.”
“Lord, don’t I know it.”
Then, much like the last time, Bif came stomping in incredibly loudly through the front door.
“Oh, yeah?” Bif yelled. “Screw you, too, you dickhead!” He slammed the door and stormed to the fridge.
“Derby?” Pinky and Tad asked him.
“Yes. We got into an argument today. He’s just so fucking unreasonable. He only cares about himself.”
He threw himself down on the couch next to the others, sipping angrily on the last soda.
“This is a familiar scene, hmm?” Tad said, and Pinky and Bif nodded in agreement.
“That restaurant we went to last time is open again today,” Pinky suggested. “I’ll pay.”
“The carnival’s also open, right? I wish to challenge Bif to a rematch.”
“You’re on, Tad,” Bif said.
The trio finished their sodas and spent their Saturday forgetting their previous anger.
So, Pinky reasoned it was a two-time thing. That was fine. Contrary to the saying, lightning did strike in the same place twice.
But then it kept happening. The rest of the Preps questioned where all of the soda was going, and the three of them always volunteered to go out and get more. They went to that restaurant so much they had their own table, and they played the carnival games so many times that they got bored of them and had to find new activities. The outings became a regular thing for the three of them.
“You know, I think we need a name for this gathering,” Pinky suggested one day as the three of them waited for their food. “We’re practically a club at this point. Clubs need a name.”
“Don’t you need four people to start a club?” Tad asked.
“Who cares?” Bif said. “Let’s start a club.”
“Whatever. I’m not opposed. What shall we name it?”
“Well, it’s got to be something that relates to what we do,” Pinky said, thinking.
“‘What we do is sit around and complain about Derby,” Tad said.
“And call him a dick,” Bif added.
“And call him a dick.”
Pinky gasped, “I got it! The GDCBSADS!”
“What?” Bif and Tad asked.
“The GDCBSADS. It’s really simple, guys.”
“That’s not a word, Pinky,” Bif said.
“Well, duh. It’s an acronym. It stands for ‘God, Derby Can Be Such A Dick Sometimes’. Easy!”
Bif and Tad laughed upon hearing the full name.
“Well, if you two don’t like it, what suggestions do you have?” Pinky huffed.
“No, no, I like it,” Tad said, trying to compose himself. “It’s incredibly funny, though.”
“Yeah, I agree,” Bif said between laughs.
“We must hide this from Derby, however. If he finds out, he shall skin us alive.”
“He hasn’t found out yet,” Pinky smirked. “And he never will.”