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“I want to do something for you,” Jesse abruptly says.
They had just finished eating dinner, the dishes were washed and put away, and the two of them are curled up together on the couch while the TV plays a movie from Jesse’s growing collection. Tonight was The Mummy.
Emily glances at her with a curious quirk of her brow. “Oh? And what’s the occasion?”
“I dunno, I thought maybe we could do something for your birthday? Or if there’s something you want, maybe?” She sighs then, mostly to herself. “Shit, this is coming out more awkward than I wanted, but still. You’ve done a lot for me, so I want to return the favor.”
There’s a momentary pause as Emily digests her words, feeling her heart beat a little faster. She snuggles closer against her with a soft chuckle. “We don’t have to, Jesse. I’m at the point in life where birthdays aren’t all that important. Besides, seeing you happy is the perfect gift.”
“See that’s what I mean. You make saying things like that look so easy, and every time I go to try to say them back to you or try and do—” she shakes her head off that train of thought but Emily is already filing it away. “It never feels like it’s enough,” Jesse continues as her arm around Emily’s shoulders tightens. “I want to make you happy too.”
At that, the movie becomes long forgotten and Emily separates from her hold to properly look her in the eye. “Jesse,” she begins, lacing their fingers together. “You already do. More than you realize.”
Jesse says nothing in response as her eyes flickers away, switching between the movie, Emily’s unwavering stare, and to her own lap. The scene changes into a brighter setting, washing their living room in bright hues and it’s there that Emily sees it: the light dust of pink in Jesse’s cheeks.
“Jesse.” Emily gently takes her chin between her thumb and forefinger and reconnects their gazes. “What’s this really about?”
Jesse’s throat bobs as she swallows the rising nervousness that she knows isn’t warranted. This is Emily, after all. “I don’t know how else to say it. I want to do more for—” she stops, exhales through her nose, tries again, “I want to do more to you.”
Emily’s eyes widen, realization sinking in. “ Oh. You mean when we—”
“ Yeah, yeah... That.” Jesse rubs the back of her neck.
“There’s no need to be embarrassed, Jesse,” she reassures, chuckling at the endearingly bashful display.
“I know. That’s why I want to—God, why’s talking about this so hard?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“What?”
“What we can do for my birthday. If it’s something you really want to do for me, then I’ll think about it. A week should be a sufficient amount of time to come up with something, I’m sure.”
“O-oh okay. Cool. Awesome.” A second passes. Then two more. “Do... you have a little bit of an idea?”
Emily laughs heartily and kisses her on the cheek. “Don’t worry yourself, Jesse. I promise I’ll tell you as soon as something enticing comes to mind.”
The way she says ‘enticing,’ a low intonation crackling with heat, the hiss of air passing her teeth as she sounds the C, lingers in Jesse’s ears, further tinting her ears pink and sending her heartbeat into a frenzy. But the momentary trance is over as quick as it began and she feels Emily settling back against her side, snuggling in close as her attention fixates on the remainder of the movie.
And that’s where the conversation ended.
***
Work days at the Bureau pass uneventfully. Well, whatever would constitute as ‘uneventful’ is in constant flux, but as long as another lockdown isn’t needed and there hasn’t been more than five fires at a time, then Jesse would like to chalk it up to that category at the end of the day.
But uneventful isn’t what she needed right now. Her conversation with Emily still buzzed in her mind, both with nervous anticipation, and impatient excitement, and there was nothing at the Bureau potent enough to distract or derail from thinking about it.
Perhaps even more irritating is the fact that nothing about the woman’s professional demeanor during board meetings or her enthusiasm for free reign science in the Research Sector betrayed anything that might hint what she has in mind for her birthday.
Jesse had hoped that maybe Emily would come up with something right away and she’d have time to mentally fortify herself for whatever was to come. She’s not adverse to improvisation, of course, she does it quite often since nothing here has a set precedence and new science and methods need to be invented on the spot. But with something like this... well she wants it to be perfect. And she hates the waiting part, the apprehension that’s just left to stew. Still, she waits all the same.
It isn’t until the sun rises on the day before Emily’s birthday, with Jesse in the kitchen nursing a mug of hot chocolate, that she finally resolves to finally ask her directly.
Their bedroom door opens and out shuffles Emily in her fuzzy slippers and her hair freshly mussed with sleep. Though there have been many mornings seeing her like this, it never fails to squeeze Jesse’s chest free of air, leaving her to just stare in revelry that this is something she gets to see.
“You’re up early,” Emily remarks with a drowsy smile.
“Yeah,” Jesse smiles back, thumbing the rim of the mug. “So... Your birthday is tomorrow.”
“Hm. So it is,” Emily says as she goes through the kitchen to prepare her coffee.
“Did you come up with anything?”
As Emily pours coffee grounds into the basket filter, she throws Jesse a smirk over her shoulder. “Check the closet. Top shelf, black bag.”
Jesse raises a suspicious brow, but she slides her drink out of the way and does as she’s told. All the while, Emily continues to brew her coffee.
Padding down the hallway, she stops in front of the singular closet and swings it open. Just as Emily said, there’s a black bag sitting at the very top shelf. There’s no logo or any sort of embellishment that would hint at its contents. She takes it down, notes that there’s a box within the bag, and returns to the kitchen.
“Is this it?” she asks, holding it up for Emily to see.
“Yes, that’s the one.” At this point her coffee is made and she takes slow, measured sips of it as she looks Jesse dead in the eye. “It’s for you.”
“For me? Heh. Last I checked, it’s not my birthday,” Jesse snickers but slides the box out of the black bag anyway. It’s a shoe box. But whatever it was inside definitely didn’t weigh like it was a pair of sneakers or anything like that.
“Let me clarify then.” Another sip. Her gaze turns smoldering. “It’s for you to use .”
Jesse’s hands go still. Then she practically rips the box lid open—only to immediately slam it shut with a furious blush. “ Oh, ” she squeaks.
“We don’t have to if it’s something that makes you uncomfortable,” Emily says cooly. “Birthday or not, your well-being takes priority.”
Speechlessness still holds Jesse hostage. Even as she opens the box again to verify its contents, any and all chances of coherency are rendered null. Of all the things she imagined Emily possibly wanting to do for her birthday, this was nowhere near the bottom of the list—and yet she’s in disbelief all the same.
“This—” she swallows and draws a steadying breath. “This is what you want?”
“Yes. But only if you are okay with it. Are you?”
“I don’t know,” Jesse breathlessly laughs. “I’ve never done this before... Have you?”
She takes another sip to recollect. “Two or three times, yes.”
“Shit, well now I really don’t want to mess up.”
“It’s not a competition, Jesse,” Emily chuckles. “It’s just something I thought would be fun to try together. Regardless of what we end up doing, you’re wonderful to be with.”
Jesse averts her eyes and her cheeks grow warm. “Thanks. So are you.”
“I’m glad,” Emily says, smiling wider into her mug.
“So the ball’s in my court now, huh?”
“It is. And there’s no pressure to say yes.”
Jesse huffs a lungful of air, blowing up her bangs before ultimately combing the loose fringes back with a rough rake of her fingers, and holds them there as she thinks. All the while, her eyes still lock onto the box’s contents. Heat returns to her cheeks the longer she stares, but she ignores it. She did say that she wanted to do something special for Emily’s birthday and she’s not about to back down now.
Besides, she’d be lying to herself if she wasn’t at least a little curious... “Alright.” Her eyes flicker up to meet Emily’s. “Let’s try it.”
Emily regards her for a long moment, studying and searching her expression for a hint of discomfort or masked, disquiet hesitation. She’s gotten quite adept at recognizing such expressions, but here she sees only nervousness and she understands it wholeheartedly. Finally, she nods. “Tomorrow night then?”
“Yeah. After dinner though. I found a recipe for carbonara that you might like.”
“It’s a date.”
Jesse exhales again, this time with finality and resolve. “Cool.” She replaces the box lid and drums her hands against the top. Looks like she’ll have to try and do some research soon. But in the meantime, she sways on her feet, unsure of what to say next and Emily is still looking at her with bemused adoration over the rim of her coffee mug. “I guess I should go grocery shopping now,” she eventually says. “Do you want to come with?”
“I would love to,” Emily sighs, “but if I have any chance of getting a true day off on my birthday, I should look over and get some proposals and reports out of the way.”
Jesse winces sympathetically. “Ouch. Well I’ll bring you a little pick-me-up on the way home.”
“You spoil me.”
“Good, means that I’m getting the hang of this,” Jesse grins proudly and makes her way back into their bedroom to change and get ready to face the rest of the day. Even with a set list of goals and Emily’s warm smile, there’s no escaping the newly evolved nervous anticipation nestling in the back of her mind.
***
Dinner prep goes about as well as Jesse could hope when she’s practically a giant jumble of nerves. The ticking of the clock has never sounded so potent til the hours leading up to the evening meal, and the entire time her mind raced with images of what was to come later tonight. More like who , the snide thought flits by and she proceeds to slam straight into the corner of the countertop when she finally realized that she just thought that. Even Polaris appears in her vision momentarily, but it sure wasn’t to offer consolation with the resonant-being practically swimming playfully and chiming like little bells that gave Jesse the distinct impression that she was laughing.
The pot of boiled pasta was fortunately spared from her blunder and was promptly poured into a waiting strainer in the sink without further incident.
“Just keep it together,” she tells herself as she adds the final touches on the dish. “You’re Jesse fucking Faden, and you got this.”
She huffs with her hands on her hips as she looks over her evening’s work. Plates were set on the table ready for food to be placed, an unopened bottle of wine she prays is the right kind sits at the center, and music softly plays from the portable speaker Arish had graciously lent her for the night. Done and done.
She turns to the microwave and inspects her dark reflection in the glass door to fix her hair and clothes. Though her hair is in its usual hair tie, she did go the extra mile to make the curls a little more pronounced and her clothes are certainly a step up from her usual jeans and leather jacket. Instead she opted for a crisp light blue button-down tucked into a pair of black slacks. They may be dining-in tonight, but she should still look good at the very least.
With a final nod, she turns towards the hallway where the closed door of the office/guest room. Emily managed to finish the reports yesterday, but was blindsided by an onslaught of emails by the midafternoon and that’s what she’s been up to since then.
“It’s fine, Jesse,” Emily had reassured her with a kiss and she went to settle into her desk. “This is how I’ve spent most of my birthdays, I’m used to it. Besides,” she smirked and winked, “the evening is what matters most, isn’t it?”
Jesse shoves aside that particular part of the day back into the corner of her mind where it belongs and saunters up to the office door. She knocks her first knuckle against it and calls, “Em?”
“Come in.”
The door swings open to reveal the lamplit room and Emily turning about in her swivel chair with glasses perched on her nose and a document between her fingers. “Hey, how’s it going in here, birthday girl?” Jesse greets.
“On the last one,” she answers with a triumphant wave of the page. Then her eyes flicker up and down Jesse’s form. “My, you clean up nice.”
Jesse enters the room, glancing down at her clothes with her arms spread out at her sides. “It’s not too much?”
Emily makes a show of drinking in her appearance: a thoughtful hum, a lingering gaze, a smile curling the corner of her lips. Then she rises from her chair, her fingers finding Jesse’s front belt loops, and pulls their bodies flush together. “Not at all.”
Jesse smiles despite the furious blush that rushes to her cheeks, and presses a kiss to Emily’s nose before giving her another on the lips. “Are you hungry? Dinner’s just about ready.”
“Sounds good to me.”
***
She might have overdone it a bit on the wine. It didn’t taste all that great—a little strong and she’s already not much of an alcohol-person in general, though she’ll entertain a beer on occasion—but her nerves hardly minded as she practically downs two and a half glasses by the time her plate is cleaned of its pasta.
While she’s far from falling into a drunken stupor, there is a pleasant buzz coursing through her, loosening the tension in her shoulders remarkably until she’s all but leaning on one elbow on the table and lazily gazing at Emily sitting across from her. Like Jesse, Emily has changed into a button down shirt, not unlike the ones she wears to the Bureau, but this particular shirt had a pattern of small rosebuds dotting the off-white fabric. Jesse recalls the day she bought it, but recollection ends there as her imagination starts to prickle with enticing images of unbuttoning it, tugging it open to expose her neck and collarbones—
Emily dabs a napkin over her mouth when she notices Jesse’s stare. “Jesse?”
“Hm?” She doesn’t startle at the call of her name, which would’ve been a surprise to both of them if one of them wasn’t already slightly inebriated, and the other had taken notice of the undeniable shimmer starting to overtake blue irises.
Emily suppresses a knowing giggle. “Is there something on your mind?”
“You,” Jesse answers with little to no hesitation and a husk that laces the singular word in warmth and desire.
An amused smile tugs on her lips as her eyes flicker over at Jesse’s half full wine glass. “How much did you drink, Jesse?”
Her hand searches to take Emily’s in a loose hold. “Enough.”
“Uh huh,” she deadpans but it soon becomes a chuckle and she brings Jesse’s hand up to kiss her knuckles. “Thank you for dinner, Jesse. This has been wonderful.”
“Only the best for you, Em.”
Emily’s chest seizes at the words, but only for a moment and soon the sigh that exhales from her nose is one of contentment and her heart becomes unbearably full. “I’ll help clean up,” she says, and just as she pushes up to stand, Jesse does the same.
Their hands are still joined and remain that way when Jesse interlocks their fingers and tugs on her arm.
The kiss starts off small. A quick peck on the lips that simultaneously pull into small smiles before they reconnect with fervor and passion.
“Jesse,” Emily hums in between breaths.
“Yeah?”
“The dishes.”
Jesse makes a noncommittal noise and kisses her again but this time she allows her hands to wander, stroking Emily’s sides up and down, gradually riding her shirt up enough to caress bare skin. “What about them?” she murmurs against her lips.
“We should clean up everything first before we—”
The words cut off there as Jesse descends and presses her lips along the length of Emily’s neck, occasionally stopping to nibble or lick at a particular spot. “Should we?”
Emily releases a breathy laugh, her fingers rising to thread through thick red tresses to pull Jesse closer to her. “We should,” she says though she made no move to follow up on that.
Jesse gives a hearty bite at the junction of neck and shoulder, growling softly as she does. “Don’t care.” She licks the spot where she bit, and her hand rises higher up Emily’s back until it could tease at the hook of her bra. The gasp that Emily exhales into her ear spurs her into taking a step forward. Then another, and another, and another until Emily is pressed against the nearest wall.
“Jesse—“ Her words are swallowed whole as Jesse reseals their lips with a searing kiss.
Her hands no longer mindlessly wander and instead purposefully travel up to work at the buttons of Emily’s shirt. Meanwhile, Emily’s fingers pull at her hair, scratching at her scalp at the same time her free hand drags nails down her clothed back. She’s wholly aware of the heat festering, growing hungrier by the second.
When Emily’s shirt is free of its buttons, leaving her abdomen exposed and bra on display, Jesse slots a leg between hers and sets to work on kneading her breasts in tandem of rocking her thigh against her core.
“ Jesse, ” Emily cries as her hips jerk involuntarily at the sensation. Her fingers curl tighter in their respective places, especially when she catches a glimpse of Jesse’s eyes bright with arousal, and the tell tale tug on her pants signals to her the inevitable. She drags a languid tongue along Jesse’s neck, stopping at her ear lobe to take it between her teeth. “Bed,” she intones.
Another low growl rumbles from within Jesse, igniting with impatience and eagerness. She thumbs at the button holding her pants closed, caught in the temptation of taking Emily where she stood there and now.
But then she remembers the plan for the night, the plan that already awaits them in their room. The image of Emily against the wall is no match for the prospect of having her writhing in a full body flush that’s on full display underneath her. Lust and urgency course through Jesse like an electric current and she guides them both down the hallway. The door to their room all but crashes open.
“Where did you put it?” Jesse husks against Emily’s lips, parted and panting for breath.
“Under the bed.” They kiss some more, fervently drinking one another in while clumsily pawing at their clothes to remove them. “Are you sure you want to?”
Just as she says that, the back of her legs impact against the edge of the bed, and in response, Jesse pushes her down to sit, squeezing her shoulders as she leans down to intone in her ear. “Yes.” Then she locks their gazes in an intense, heated stare. “I want you. ”
A pleasant shiver shoots down Emily’s spine, making her tremble slightly in anticipation. She kisses Jesse on the cheek, smiling as she pulls away. “Alright then.”
And with that, Jesse gets down on the ground to rummage beneath the bed. She distantly hears Emily shuffling on the bed and the sound of clothes being mindlessly tossed to the floor. Her fingers are clumsy from the wine and her own restless eagerness as she affixes the harness to her hips. The sight of it is sobering, but not enough to ignite any sort of second thoughts about going through with this. Especially not when she looks up to find Emily waiting for her, exposed and blatantly ogling her and the toy strapped to her waist.
At the barest twitch of Emily’s legs parting open, Jesse is on top of her in a flash, sealing their lips together just as she palms one of her breasts. She pushes her tongue into her mouth, swallowing the moan that soon follows.
“Jesse, please,” Emily breathes while she blindly reaches for the strap to guide it closer to where she needed..
“Hold on,” Jesse kisses along her jaw. “I gotta make sure you’re ready.”
Emily groans, sinking her teeth into Jesse’s shoulder in protest, but beyond that she acquiesces.
Fighting through the instinctive recoil and shiver blossoming from the stinging press of Emily’s teeth, Jesse runs her hand away from her breast, caresses the expanse of her stomach, and finally slips between Emily’s legs. “Oh,” Jesse murmurs as her fingers come away wet.
“Is it so surprising to know that I want you too?” Emily giggles.
“I...” The buzz of alcohol subsides as she looks down, taking in everything that is Emily from her beautiful shade of pink to her amused smile that didn’t shy away from showing her affection. Seeing that effortless smile, Jesse snickers at herself and shakes her head. “No, I guess not.”
They meet in the middle as they kiss again, softer this time but no less heated.
Getting back on track, Jesse slips a finger inside of her, and the gasp that escapes Emily breaks them apart.
“That’s not necessary,” she keens while her hips unconsciously thrust upward in a desperate search for more friction.
“I still want to make sure,” Jesse says and pumps her finger at a steady pace. The last thing she wants is to hurt Emily on their first night trying this out. “Okay...”
“I’m ready, Jesse.”
She nods, drawing on the remainder of her liquid courage to part Emily’s legs with a steadying breath. She takes hold of the toy and lines it up with her glistening entrance. Her heartbeat spikes and her ears perk up at Emily’s sharp, anticipating inhale as the tip grazes over her clit. Biting her bottom lip, Jesse gently takes her chin and watches her face for any sign of discomfort or pain as she slowly enters her.
For the most part, Emily is unable to meet her eyes, which would’ve been worrying. Was she doing something wrong? Does it hurt? Is she going too fast?
But then Emily’s breath hitches with a barely stifled whimper, parting her lips bewitchingly; her legs twitch and go to encircle her waist, and finally their eyes meet. Whether Emily was conscious of it or not, her legs tighten around her and pull her closer. Either way, her impatience is clear and Jesse must be doing something very right to garner such a reaction.
It’s here that something ignites in the pit of Jesse’s stomach, spurs her to sink the rest of the way in and soon their pelvises are flush against one another. Emily’s arms encircle her torso, her nails dig into her back as she inhales shakily and exhales with soft bliss. She keeps still for a long moment, remembering that sometimes there needs to be a pause to let the receiver get acclimated to—
Emily starts to move. A mindless rhythm and her brows tightly knitted together while fixing Jesse with a pleading stare.
Her mouth goes dry. Carefully, she draws back, and just as carefully pushes back in.
“ Jesse. ”
“Is this okay?”
Emily nods fervently. “Jesse, I love you, but if you don’t move faster right now.”
Jesse sucks in a breath, and unfortunately ends up doing the opposite of what Emily wanted. The legs around her waist pull her abruptly closer so that she has to brace herself on her hands. Still, she hardly minds. She stares down at Emily’s face, framed by the splay of her hands on either side of her head, and her hair beginning to come undone from its coiffe. “You love me?”
The soft murmur is enough to clear the lustful haze that has blanketed over Emily and she finally meets Jesse’s glowing gaze. With an airy smile and a tender brush of her fingers along Jesse’s cheek, she repeats her earlier statement, “Is that so surprising?”
Jesse shakes her head, laughing giddily and happily, whether from the alcohol in her system or the affectionate warmth blossoming in her chest, it matters little. She kisses Emily all the same, lowering herself on her forearms to be closer to the woman who has become such a fixture in her life, and finally thrusts the toy in earnest.
The low moan in her ear spurs her into increasing her pace and she licks up the column of Emily’s neck, pausing only to suck on the pulsepoint that brings Emily’s spine into an arch that moulds her body perfectly against hers.
“Don’t stop,” Emily pants, raking her nails down Jesse’s back while bringing her other hand up to bury it deep in her thick red tresses.
In response, Jesse speeds up and her hand languidly travels down Emily’s side, caressing her flushed skin before coming to stop at her clit. One stroke earns her a sharp gasp and hips bucking up against hers, driving the toy deeper. “Say it again,” she husks against Emily’s marked neck.
“ Don’t stop. ”
“I won’t,” she promises with another stroke of her finger. Unaccustomed to the motions, her muscles were already beginning to tire, but she isn’t about to give up. “I won’t.”
Emily kisses her neck, priming it for the bite she rewards her with soon after.
“Can you say the other thing?” Jesse asks through a groan.
“Other— ah —other thing?”
She searches Jesse’s face for any indication of what she meant and the bashful flush in her cheeks is more than enough. She chuckles around a blissful sigh and murmurs in her ear: “I love you, Jesse.”
Her heartbeat spikes with elation, spurring her to further ravage Emily’s neck with short nips and open mouthed kisses as her strokes and thrusts grew more and more in sync. The words want to come out and reciprocate in earnest. But they weigh heavily on her tongue. So instead, the hand that had been laying idly beside Emily’s head shifts and threads through her hair—caught between pulling and caressing and overall holding onto her with every ounce of affection she could pour into the gesture.
“Almost—” Emily gasps, “ almost. ”
“I’ve got you, Em.”
Emily’s hold becomes constricting when she finally tumbles over the peak. A sound caught in the middle of a moan and a sigh is muffled as she buries her face into Jesse’s shoulder. Her walls flutter and clench around the toy, forcing Jesse to slow her thrusts into a languid roll of her hips to help her ride the aftershocks.
After taking a measured breath, Emily comes down and relaxes back against the mattress with her arms loosening to give Jesse a proper hug.
Meanwhile, Jesse kisses her temple, following the line of her jaw, and ending with a loving peck on the lips. “You okay?”
Emily nods and kisses her in turn, “Wonderful. You’re wonderful.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re surprised?” she asks for the third time that night.
“Maybe just a little.” Jesse goes to pull out, but stops when Emily makes a noise of protest.
“Leave it. I want to go again, I just need a minute.”
“Oh... A-Alright.” Jesse flushes crimson at the casual declaration, feeling her arousal begin to pool in the pit of her stomach once more.
Emily cups her cheek. “Are you up for another round?”
And once more, Emily’s ever present consideration takes the tension from her shoulders and pulls an easy smile from her lips. “Yeah. Anything you want, Em.” She brushes their noses together and murmurs. “Happy birthday, Emily.”
That earns her an airy giggle and a playful pinch on the cheek. “Thank you.” Then her tone drops an octave. “So. Would you want something like this for your birthday?”
Jesse chokes.
“Sorry, too soon?” Emily snickers.
Jesse huffs through her blush, raises herself onto her forearms, and rolls her hips in a shallow thrust. At the sound of Emily’s sharp inhale, her confidence surges and she picks up a slow and steady rhythm. “I’ll think about it. But last I checked, you’re still the birthday girl here.”