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They were on their way to base, Sanford drumming his fingers on the dashboard while he tapped his ash out the window, when Deimos realised he was gay. He braked so hard it nearly sent his partner out the windscreen.
“Woah- the hell?!” Sanford cradled his sore nose, and past the panicked haze of his thoughts, Deimos laughed at the face shaped stain on the front window. “Dei?” He kept asking, though his expression softened when he heard the giggle. “Why’d you stop the car?”
“You’re gonna laugh,” he said, feeling far away.
His partner just pulled his lips back in a grin, a challenge,”try me, buster.”
“I think I’m not actually straight,” he started, trying to get his thoughts in order. “I don’t like girls.”
The confession garnered a curious tilt of the head from Sanford. "What? You like boys?"
"I've never... been with a boy," he admitted, hands clenched around the wheel.
He was expecting ridicule, pity maybe, not for a hand to reach over and fucking stroke his knee. "Do you want to?"
"I-I-" he swallowed, but Sanford didn't take it away. "Man, shut up. I'm still figuring it out." He wiggled his leg a little to shake that hand off and immediately started to miss it. "You coming onto me a'something?"
"Hell yeah I am." He leaned forward, once again disregarding his personal space. "You getting shy on me?"
"Well I've been too terrorised by your fat mommy milkers to focus on being gay so- hnn..." his voice tapered off into a whine when Sanford got ahold of his chin and made him turn to face him.
"Deimos, I like you too."
And that was that. He was caught, he was willing, so he closed his eyes and puckered up.
A second passed. Then two seconds.
Sanford let him go and his stomach plummeted. It was like getting stabbed in the chest, watching the guy he liked struggle not to laugh. Deimos scoffed, turning back to face the road. He had to fight for his goddamn life to hold back the hot tears prickling at his eyes. "That was a cruel fucking prank."
"I'm not playing with you, Dei. I really do like you." Sanford sat back in his seat with a little creak.
"Then why-"
"Shush, ask me that later." He cut in and Deimos sighed, leaning his forehead against the wheel to close his eyes. “I’m gonna be pouring my heart out here so don’t interrupt me, uh, might wanna park the car for this.” He did, switching the gear shift to park obediently. A quick glance revealed Sanford pushing up his glasses to rub at his eyes. A nervous tick. Deimos didn’t understand what that meant but his throat was still tight with anxiety so he just nodded for him to talk.
Sanford smiled and even that made his belly twist. "Before I met you I was barely comfortable in my own skin. I didn't know where I stood with Hank and Doc, I had little in the way of conversational skills and this shit doesn't come easy to me, you know." Deimos smirked a little, because he did know. "Basically, I sucked. I was just an absolute dogshit guy." Sanford laughed, which made him want to laugh too but he kept his head down and listened.
"Then I met you, and it was like you showed me what it was like to be a real person. I'd never felt so right with anyone else.” This was so cheesy, he’d never realised Sanford could be this corny. What’s worse was that he liked it.
His partner in crime chuckled fondly like he was reminiscing,“Then you really started coming out of your shell and every mission with you was more fun than the last. All the fighting, every bruise and scar, suddenly they were all worth it when I had you by my side.” God, he was starting to get teary again for equal and opposite reasons. This was too much.
“You- you changed my life, Deimos.” Sanford continued, and he could hear where that confident voice started to get shy. It was achingly sweet. “I can’t deny that and hell, I don’t want to. You’re cute, you’re funny, you’re so, so special to me. I wanna make you feel special too. I wanna make you as happy as you make me. Honestly! You’ll never know the shit you do to me and, uh, if I had to pick a person to spend the rest of my life with it’d have to be you.” He paused for an awkward moment and Deimos felt like his heart was about to explode. “Okay I’m done.”
“Are you proposing to me?” Despite his best efforts, his voice came out high and tinny. Thank fuck it still made Sanford laugh.
“We’re not even dating yet,” he reminded and Deimos broke into a nervous giggle.
“Christ, Sanford,” he was acutely aware of how pathetic he sounded right now but there was little handhold to get a damn grip on, not when his thoughts were slipping and sliding all over the place. “I like you more than anyone, I didn’t even know it was possible to like someone this much, and now you’re just gonna say this shit?!”
That reaction garnered a small laugh. “At least you know I’m not joking now.”
“Then why didn’t you just kiss me?” He blurted out the question from just now, and Sanford grinned at him, eyes crinkling up in a smile.
“Because, Deimos,” he leaned closer,”I was stalling for time.”
He made a confused sound,”For what exactly?”
“For the sun to go down, silly boy,” his eyes were so soft. “I wanted to kiss you in the light of the setting sun. Romantic right?”
Oh.
He felt so silly. He was weak in the chest and knees and Sanford was so close and the sun was behind them and the desert was this lovely shade of orange that he vividly remembered Sanford saying was his favourite. His head was spinning but it barely mattered when his chin was held again, just as gentle as before.
Then Deimos flailed, slapping Sanford’s hands and face away,”Wait wait no oh my god wait!” He nearly ripped the glove compartment off its hinge and grabbed his mints. Hands shaking like he’d just done five shots of cocaine, he popped open the container, spraying little white pellets everywhere and swearing loudly while he was at it. The universe did have a way of aligning itself though, because as he was scrabbling for dear life, his shoulders were grabbed and Sanford kissed him full on the lips.
His visor got knocked askew, and he might have accidentally bit Sanford, but he eventually managed to regain his bearings and kiss back. He was kissing Sanford! He was getting kissed by Sanford! The hands on his shoulders slid down to his back and pulled him closer, so Deimos took that as cue to sling his own hands around Sanford’s neck. He realised he was gripping like a drowning man, so he relented a bit, stroked along the firm muscles and then Sanford moved his lips and he moaned like a goddamn loser and had to break away to take a breather.
“Heh,” Sanford laughed a little breathlessly,”You’re blushing.”
“So are-“ he gulped for air, most definitely breathless,”so are you!”
“Can ya blame me? I’ve been wanting to do this for months.” The look Sanford was giving him should be illegal, but most everything they did was anyway.
Deimos laughed, still skittish but happier than words could say. “Fuck, can we do that again?”
“As many times as you want, Dei.” Sanford pressed their foreheads together and he still couldn’t imagine someone so wonderful would like a person like him. Someone like Sanford. Who retorts like a stinging whip, Sanford whos taller and broader than him, Sanford whos unabashed to be his loudest and proudest self, Sanford who’s so fucking funny it makes him cry with laughter sometimes, Sanford whos talented and versatile, who watches his back and cares for him, who sings and drums his fingers against the steering wheel when he drives, who fills the room so effortlessly with his presence, who loves shows like the titanic and tries not to feel embarrassed by it while being awfully embarrassed by it, who cant cook without burning more than half the meal, whos stubborn in the worst of ways, who acts tough because he has to be. Sanford who gets so fucking soft when he’s looking at him like that that it makes Deimos ache to tell him how much he loves him.
“I’m so glad I’m gay now,” he said with the goofiest grin, instead of all that other shit he’d been thinking,”so I can do this!” Deimos punctuated his sentence with another kiss, pulling Sanford into a hug while he was at it. They held it for longer this time, but eventually even that had to end and Deimos sighed happily, feeling Sanford tuck his head to his chest while his chin rested in his hair. The sun had gone down fully, and it was just the stars in the red night sky. “Why the hell didn’t we do this sooner?”
“You said you were straight, dum dum,” Sanford reminded him and Deimos blew a raspberry on his clavicle, making the other man cry out. They dissolved into a mess of loose limbed laughter then, and he didn’t think he could be happier than this. Sanford nuzzled his head then set him back in his own chair, aglow with a pleasant buzz. “Let’s head back to base then,” he said lightly, and Deimos sighed though he knew there was no rush. “I can tell you wanna break the news to doc,” Sanford continued, casting an amused sidelong glance at him as he started the car again.
“Nah,” Deimos couldn’t keep the twinge of smugness from his voice,”let’s see how long it takes for him to notice.”