Work Text:
"Hey Catra?"
"Mm? What?"
When she got no reply, Catra rolled over in the narrow bed and gave her weirdly flushed friend a closer look. At thirteen, it was starting to get too crowded for them to lie side by side in the Horde cots like this, unless they cuddled like when they were very young (to say Catra would have mixed feelings about that would be an understatement). But they'd had an awkward and long day, and Adora had been unusually clingy, so a sleepover had been wordlessly decided. As soon as lights went out, Catra had dropped down silently from her bunk to find Adora already holding the thin bed sheet up, grinning goofily in the dark.
Now Adora was staring up at the bottom of Catra's bunk, fiddling nervously with her own fingers, nose wrinkled like when she was building up the courage to attempt a particularly tricky course. Catra prodded her impatiently in the side.
"Ow!"
"Adora, what ?"
"It-" Adora hesitated again, chewing her lip. Still avoiding her friend's direction, she gave the rest of the sleeping bunks a cautious glance. Catra was about to start prodding again, when she finally burst in a rushed whisper, "I was just thinking about everything today."
"Ugh." Catra wrinkled her nose, irrationally irritated that Adora was still avoiding looking in her direction. "Why would you want to?"
That day had consisted of a rudimentary sex education, in both parts embarrassing and insufficient. The key points seemed to be, here's how not to get pregnant, and here's how not to be a burden to others. The most tangible impact it had on the cohort of awkward teenagers was to spark a spirited debate over which Force Captain was doing who. Adora had remained stiff and quiet during this conversation, especially after Lonnie had tried to pull her into it, choosing instead to hover strangely by Catra's side, lost to her own thoughts.
"Well it was, it was just," current Adora fumbled, "you know when Lonnie was asking who I would be with, if I had to choose?"
Now Catra fidgeted uncomfortably, as she had at the time. Crap, had Adora noticed how Catra had felt that question physically hit her somewhere deep in her chest, had stared in rapt hope for Adora's answer then changed the subject before she could give it? Did she know what it meant? Catra barely understood what it meant. "Yeah..?"
"Well, I know we're not supposed to think about it anyway but…" Adora finally looked at her, blushing fiercely. Catra felt frozen in place, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. "I think, I don't like boys at all. I think I only like girls. Or just… not guys. Do you think-" her eyes flickered away and back, embarrassed. "Do you think that's weird?"
For a few moments, Catra didn't know how to react. It felt as if time had frozen, her heartbeat stuttered, her muscles locked, everything shrinking down until only the two of them existed. All of her growing, muddled feelings that she didn't have the vocabulary to name seemed to rush forward in her chest, fizzing along her veins with hope and yearning. It was only when Adora's face crumpled in a sad expression of ' I knew it ', that she broke out of it.
" No !" Catra hissed back quickly, struggling to keep her voice low. Her face felt hot. "No, it's not weird. At least, I don't think so. Um," and this next revelation she dropped shyly, a little exchange of trust, "I'm the same."
"Oh!" The look of relief and delight that instantly washed over Adora's face made Catra's chest hurt all over again. "Oh, that's- that's cool! That makes me feel a lot better."
"W-well, good."
They lapsed into silence, Adora smiling contentedly to herself, a pretty pink blush across her cheeks, visible only to Catra's eyes in this gloom, while Catra tried to remember how to breathe. She didn't know who reached out, but at one point their fingers brushed, and stayed there.
Their eyes locked again. Catra still hadn't quite remembered how to breathe. She felt helpless to do anything but stare deeply into the wide blue eyes of the most precious person in the world to her, noticing how soft and delicate her lashes were, how they framed the blue so prettily. In the midst of the harshness of their daily grind, the moment felt soft and poignant. A falling petal suspended in time. Catra felt words she suddenly yearned to say sit heavily in her heart. What would happen if she said it? ‘I like you , Adora.’ Would she-
But then Adora spluttered a goodnight and turned away to go to sleep, leaving Catra feeling oddly cold. So she didn't voice it, and the next few days Adora threw herself so fervently into their training, she buried it away.
It was the first time she almost told her.
- Present day -
"And then, after giving me a heart attack , she just goes to sleep!" Catra finishes with a huge flourish, laying on the faux offence as thick as she could while also resting her legs across her girlfriend's lap.
Bow and Glimmer burst into laughter, while Adora had finally reached the shade of her jacket. It was past midnight, and the floor of the Queen's bedroom had been transformed into a nest of pillows, blankets and cake crumbs. The Best Friend Squad were huddled together in the middle of this sleepover explosion, and after cards had started to get dangerously competitive, Bow had suggested swapping childhood stories. This had quickly transformed into embarrassing childhood stories, and Glimmer and Catra were officially in their element. Somehow even this had turned competitive.
"That's not how it happened," Adora protested, pouting, shoving some flyaway hair from her face. Like the rest of them, she had changed into her most comfortable pajamas, the oversized shirt falling slightly from her shoulder. Catra didn't think there was a cuter sight in the universe. Melog, whom she was also settled against, gave a contented, sleepy purr.
"It is," Catra smirked at Adora, flicking her tail. "And that's not the only oblivious Adora story I have either. I could go all night."
The pout grew.
" No ," Adora insisted, seemingly subconsciously pulling Catra closer in her lap. "I mean I didn't just fall asleep!"
"Yes, you did! I was all psyching myself up to tell you and you just turned around and started snoring."
"Harsh," Glimmer offered, sniggering.
"Well jokes on you, Ms super senses," Adora retorted. Her face had settled on a warm pink. "I turned around because I suddenly thought about kissing you and I got all flustered and didn't know how to handle it. I actually couldn't sleep for hours . That's why I just tried to focus on our training afterwards!"
"O-oh." Now Catra stumbled, blinking owlishly at her. She was still caught off guard whenever Adora revealed feelings from their Horde days. Sometimes her current feelings seemed too unbelievable to actually be true. Catra hadn't even considered that perhaps Adora had felt the same, even all the way back then.
She was going to have to re-evaluate her entire childhood.
"Aww!" cooed Bow, happily.
"Oh my stars ," Glimmer groaned. She swiped another pink frosted cake square and settled back against Bow's side. "Adora, that just makes the story worse. How did you two even survive as teenagers? No wonder you're PDA Central now."
That reinstated Adora's furious blush, but Catra just ignored Glimmer (one of her favourite hobbies), and shuffled closer to the blonde instead. It was probably silly, but that revelation about one of her most precious childhood memories made her heart warm in ways she didn't expect. It felt like, deep inside, that angsty, hurting thirteen year old had got the validation and affection she never could have dreamed of. Adora looked over at her - those beautiful, blue eyes - and something in Catra's expression made her dissolve into a soft smile. Perhaps the raspy purr that Catra suddenly realised was betraying her.
"So, what was it you wanted to do again?" she teased, feeling herself melt into the moment.
"Why don't I show you?" Adora returned, and the way her soft smile tweaked smugly upwards on one side felt like an arrow right to the heart.
I'm a lost cause.
Before Catra even knew it, she was completely in Adora's lap, kissing her lips softly, revealing in the warmth of them, the softness of her skin beneath her fingertips, the security of Adora's arms around her. She felt Adora smile into the kiss, and wasn't sure how she ever got to be this happy.
But it only lasted a few moments. She'd completely forgotten the others were there until Glimmer let out a pointed cough.
"If you two could stop being cute for two seconds, I'm going to blow that story out of the water," she retorted. "Once me and Bow were playing pirates and I'm pretty sure he had a sexual awakening-"
" Glimmer, no!"