Archive of Our Own

Dazai Osamu was a simple man (he really wasn't). At the ripe age of twenty-four, there wasn't much he wanted. He had a (questionably enough) stable job at the Armed Detective Agency; even though he lazed around more often than not, he was way too much of a genius to be a dispensable employee. He had a great place to live in, that is, the wonderful penthouse he shared with his equally wonderful husband. No seriously, the penthouse was great. Dazai got to wake up to Yokohama's beautiful skyline every single day.

He also got restaurant quality food every day; his husband was a good person and made him food, knowing he wouldn't really bother to eat otherwise. So yes, there wasn't much he wanted at this point of his life. But there was one thing he wanted, and that was a divorce from said wonderful husband. Don't get him wrong, he absolutely loved Chuuya; yes he was married to the infamous Port Mafia executive, and what about it? But he just... Wanted a divorce. The reason to this decision was probably unknown to Dazai himself. Alas, who knows how shitty, genius minds work, right?

But Chuuya simply would not even give Dazai the chance to present him with the divorce papers, and ask for the damn divorce. Really, Dazai had tried five times now, and none of his extremely-well attempts worked. It was safe to say that Dazai was getting just a little annoyed now, after his fifth try.

i.

Dazai had totally planned to get home early for work today. He'd told his partner Kunikida that he would be leaving early and everything too! Of course, his work partner had wanted to know why he had to leave early. To that, Dazai had responded with, "Oh, I'm going to ask Chuuya for divorce today!" Kunikida and Atsushi had, of course, looked at him strangely, but knew better than to ask for an explanation. Unfortunately for everyone, their last mission of the day had run a little longer, prolonging Dazai's wait time till he could finally ask for his long-sought divorce.

So, Dazai got home later than he had planned to. And usually that would be fine, but today he had something important to ask his husband. The universe was obviously against him today, considering said husband was already home before him.

Dazai heard Chuuya humming in the kitchen as soon as entered his apartment. A few strides into the house, and towards the kitchen, and he could see the mafioso cooking in the kitchen, his usual work attire replaced with something more comfortable; namely, he was wearing just an oversized shirt with black boxers underneath.

Chuuya snorted when he saw the bandaged detective, "Took you long enough."

Dazai sighed as he made himself comfortable at the dining table, "Work ran late. I told Kunikida-kun that I needed to be home early, but when has he ever listened to what I have to say?"

Chuuya hummed as he seasoned whatever he was cooking, "Nobody in their right minds should listen to what you have to say, shitty Dazai."

The detective whined, his voice lacking the usual bite, "Chuuya is mean."

The said mean person spoke as he served his soup into two bowls, "Nothing you don't deserve, darling."

Dazai fought down a blush at the nickname, focusing on the food instead, "Is that crab soup?"

His husband nodded as he placed a bowl of the soup in front of him, "Yeah. It's a new recipe actually. Tell me if you like it."

Before Dazai could taste the soup (or bring up the divorce), Chuuya raked his fingers through the other's soft, brown hair, before dropping a kiss to the top of his head and then kissing him soft and proper. Mind you, he could do that only because the taller was seated and he was not. The mafia executive whispered after he'd kissed his husband, "Hi, shitty Dazai."

Dazai laughed, "Hello, Chibi."

Chuuya gave him a smile before taking his seat, and the two of them got to eating. The crab soup was great, as Dazai let the cook know. Chuuya flushed happily, and then the detective didn't have the heart to bring up the divorce and ruin the nice, relaxed atmosphere that had been created. 

Stupid Chuuya, being stupidly cute. 

ii.

The next time Dazai tried to propose divorce, it was the week after the first (failed) attempt. He'd been extra sure to get home before Chuuya, but the executive had texted him to tell him that he was going to be a little late. So presently, Dazai had an hour to kill and he decided to do it by reading his favourite book- "The Complete Guide to Suicide." The idea of committing suicide interested him less than before, but it was a fascinating phenomenon to study.

He was still peacefully reading his book in the living room, when Chuuya barged into the apartment. The short redhead stomped his way over to the living room, and dropped his coat and hat onto the empty sofa before flopping down next to Dazai, his head resting on the bandaged bastard's stomach.

Dazai complained, putting aside his book, "Ow, Chuuya is so rough with me."

Chuuya pressed a finger against the other's lips, "Shush. I'm too tired to deal with your bullshit. Today has been such a long day."

The taller of them carded his fingers through bright red hair, "Is that so? What would Chuuya like to do then?"

Chuuya, who had his face pressed into Dazai's stomach, rearranged himself to be able to speak, "Order in a shit ton of junk food. And then play video games; I'm going to beat your ass, just you watch."

The other laughed softly, his hands still combing through red hair, "We can do that. Say Chuuya, do you still think we're sixteen? Ordering in junk food and competing over video games of all things?"

Chuuya quietened. A few moments later, he spoke up again, his voice tinged with melancholy, "Nothing wrong with going back in time once in a while."

Dazai hummed, "No, of course not. Alright, go take your bath. I'll order the food."

His husband sat up immediately, "Great. I want lots of extra cheese on my pizza, mind you."

With that, he skipped off to the big, fancy bathroom attached to their bedroom. Dazai proceeded to order a lot of pizza, and then setting up their gaming console once that was done. Half an hour later, Chuuya was done with his bath, the pizza had arrived, and the couple were seated in front of their console, pizza and alcohol right in front of them. Wine for the shorter one, and whiskey for the former mafia executive. 

They spent the next few hours playing video games, and of course, screaming profanities at each other.  Chuuya glared at his husband after losing for the third time in a row, "You. You shitty bastard! When did you rig the game?!"

Dazai was losing his shit, practically rolling on the floor with laughter, "Chuuya, honey, I think it's time to admit that you're terrible at this game."

Chuuya stomped his foot, even though he was seated, "I am not! You are just a terrible, god-awful cheater who deserves to rot in hell. Hell!"

Dazai righted his seating position before slipping his arms around the shorter man's shoulders and pulling him closer. He jokingly kissed the other's head, "You are so cute, Chuuya!"

Chuuya, of course, nudged him hard in the ribs, "Get off me, you shitty octopus! That's it, you're sleeping on the couch today."

Dazai just laughed harder, "Because you lost at the game? Not to mention you're purely at fault for being such a bad player?"

Chuuya pouted, "Yes!"

The taller man, who had finally calmed down from his laughter-high, patted the other's head, "But Chuuya, I love you."

Chuuya sighed, finally admitting defeat, "Yeah, I love you too, shitty bastard."

The usually hatted executive then proceeded to fall asleep a while later, his head using his husband's shoulder as a pillow. Said husband then went ahead to carry him to their bedroom, and putting his blanket over him. During the whole thing, Chuuya just opened his eyes very briefly once in order to mumble, "Night, honey."

As it probably goes without saying, Dazai never got to bringing up the divorce once again. Stupid Chuuya, being stupidly cute, for the second time.

iii.

The third time, Dazai attempted to bring up the matter of their divorce,  he had everything planned. He would get home before Chuuya, and he would get there in the afternoon, way before Chuuya returned. And later, when Chuuya came in, he would make sure that he got the first word in, before Chuuya goes being cute again. Dazai would definitely bring up the divorce this time. 

All in all, it was a very simple plan. The setting was simple too. Dazai would be very careful, and keep his ears open for the sound of Chuuya's housekeys turning in the lock. As soon as he heard the distinguished sound, Dazai would quickly walk over the door. Then his husband would obviously walk in, and Dazai would stop him with a simple sentence.

"Chuuya, I think it's time we get a divorce."

It was a really simple plan. It could not possibly be any simpler than this. And if the execution of the plan depended on anyone other than Chuuya, it would most certainly, flawlessly work. But, Chuuya had been with Dazai for over eight years now, and some of the latter's "bastard mackerel-ness" (as Chuuya himself would describe it) had rubbed off on the executive.

Of course, none of Dazai's plans went according to, well, plan, when it came to the infamous Mafia Executive. Presently, the former executive opened the door to his penthouse, fully expecting an empty house. Empty. Peaceful. Silent. Chuuya-less.

The universe must be working extra hard against Dazai today, because the apartment was exactly none of those things. Chuuya was in the living room, eyes trained on the television screen, where... Is that actually a Barbie movie?! The blonde male doll (Dazai was sure the doll was named Ken), was being flown away by... Were those fairies?! Pfft, how ridiculous. Everybody knew humans couldn't fly.

Dazai chose to ignore the two blatantly obvious facts. One, fairies were obviously not humans. And two, his own husband, the gravity manipulator Nakahara Chuuya, could himself fly. 

Said gravity manipulator was too engrossed in his Barbie movie to notice that somebody was home. So, Dazai obviously took advantage of that and sneaked up behind his husband and threw his arms around his shoulders, "Chuuya! One day, if you're not careful, kidnappers will think you're a small child and kidnap you, you know! Letting down your guard like that, tsk."

Chuuya let out an exaggerated sigh, and paused the movie. It was amusing how he didn't even flinch at Dazai's actions or words; he did, after all, have eight really long years to get used to the shitty bastard. He turned around to face the detective, who was busy stripping out of his tan coloured coat, "Nobody knows where we live, idiot. This is our home; I'll be damned if any bastards shittier than you make their way in here. And stop calling me short, damn it!"

Dazai ignored all of his comments and made himself comfortable next to his husband on the couch, "What is Chibi doing home so early?"

Chuuya unconsciously changed his seating position so that he was leaning against the other before speaking, "Mission finished up early, so Boss gave me the day off. What about you? Kunikida would never let you off early."

The agency member gave him a boyish grin, "You're right, of course. But I was so tired, so I just decided to let myself off for the day!"

The mafioso snorted, "Of course. I'm not even surprised. Once a lazy, shitty bastard, always a lazy, shitty bastard."

Dazai dutifully ignored that comment and beckoned towards the paused television screen, "So, Chuuya has plans for the day?"

The tips of Chuuya's ears reddened as he shrugged, "Elise made me watch a few of these Barbie movies yesterday. They are disgustingly cringe but hilarious and 'iconic' at the same time, as she says it."

Dazai grinned amusedly, "I wonder what people would think if they knew the Nakahara Chuuya binge watches Barbie movies in his free time."

Chuuya cracked his knuckles, probably without meaning to, "Then people can take up their issues with Nakahara Chuuya himself. Nakahara Dazai Osamu, however, should shut up and join his husband in the Barbie marathon."

Dazai laughed openly, "You are actually so fucking cute. I'll change and then be right out."

Chuuya said before playing his movie, "Well, don't take too long. After Barbie and a Fairy Fever Dream, we have to watch barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses. I heard it's the best Barbie movie in existence."

The former executive chuckled as he walked to the bedroom and began changing, "Say Chuuya, are you going to attempt to make the fairy food shown in Barbie movies after this, as well?"

They both knew Dazai meant it as a joke, but Chuuya was nothing if not an expert in dealing with his trashy husband. He hollered, "You know, I can see why people call you a genius. We should absolutely do that!"

Dazai laughed some more as he changed and finally got back to the living room, seated next to his curled-up husband. For the next few hours, the deadliest duo of the Yokohama underworld, Double Black, watched Barbie movies. Quite a lot of the movies had a romantic sub-plot, and it was all very cutesy. Later that night, Chuuya did in fact attempt to make fairy cupcakes, which definitely turned out delicious. The mafia executive even sprinkled the frosting with edible glitter, to give it a more 'fairy-like' look. 

The mood was very domestic, and soft. Plus, Chuuya sniffled when Genevieve got married to Derek in Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princess, and when Erika and Annelise married their respective partners in Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper. Dazai possibly couldn't bring up their divorce after such cute, emotional on-screen weddings.

Hence, his third attempt at trying to divorce Chuuya was ruined yet again.

iv.

The fourth attempt at divorcing Chuuya was to be made a few days after the Barbie Marathon day. Dazai had decided to return home after his husband for this attempt. He would follow the very simple plan from the third attempt, but with an obvious, slight twist. This time, he decided he would return a little late, and get the first word in, before Chuuya could even say hello. It was, once again, a really simple plan, with three simple steps.

1. Unlock the door, and announce your arrival with "Chuuya, I'm home and I need you to not utter a single word until I'm done speaking.

2. Chuuya would stare at him in confusion and still try to speak, because he was stubborn like that. So, step three, hush Chuuya by pressing your fingers against his lips.

3. Announce the divorce with "Chuuya, I want a divorce."

It was exactly that simple, damn it. But, the plan went completely haywire as soon as Kunikida informed Dazai that he would have to stay at the office a little late to finish his overdue paper work. Damn it. So this is why people do their work on time. So, when they have plans to divorce their husband, they are actually free to do so. 

So, Dazai returned home at eleven that night. He still decided to stick to the plan. He unlocked the door and stepped in, and started to announce, "Chuuya, I'm home and-"

The words died in his throat when he noticed Chuuya curled up and asleep on the couch. He was still wearing his work clothes, and his hat was on the coffee table. It was almost like he had been waiting for Dazai to come home. 

Dazai sighed to himself, trying to suppress his growing concern for the mafioso, as he walked over to the sofa and knelt next to his sleeping husband. His stomach lurched unpleasantly when his fell on Chuuya's usually peaceful face.

This time however, his husband's face was streaked with dried tears. The detective also noticed that the other's hands were clenched around the sofa pillows. Dazai gently brushed the hair out of Chuuya's face and kissed him softly, "Chibi. Darling. Wake up, I'm home."

Chuuya woke up almost immediately, almost as if he had been waiting for his partner to rouse him from his nightmares. His hands found their way to Dazai's shirt and latched onto the fabric. The mafioso blinked up at the taller man, "Hi. Welcome home."

Dazai took off his coat and put it away before combing his husband's hair with his fingers, "You fell asleep in your suit. Waiting for me, were you?"

Untrue to his nature, Chuuya didn't vehemently deny the other's claims as he sat up, "Yeah. I was."

Dazai understood the cue to take his seat next to him. Hence, he sat down on the sofa, and pulled his small husband towards him, the other's back against the front of his torso. The taller of them rested his chin on top of the other's head, and slipped his arms around his shoulders, "Bad day?"

Chuuya sighed, "Yeah, you could say that. Rough mission. A few of my men died."

Dazai murmured, "I'm sorry, Chuuya."

The redhead sighed, "I'm just, so tired, Osamu."

Dazai pressed a kiss to the top of his husband's head, "I know. Have you eaten?"

Chuuya shook his head, "Don't feel like it. You?"

Dazai hummed, "Of course not."

Chuuya tried to sit up, "I can make you something-"

The detective shushed him and pulled him back down, "Don't be ridiculous. I'm not hungry."

The mafioso was clearly too tired to cook, but he still protested weakly, "You need to take better care of yourself, shitty Mackerel."

Dazai laughed softly, "Why? I have a pet dog to do that for me, after all!"

A very tired wine-addict mumbled, "I'm not your dog."

Dazai poked the other's cheek, "Of course not, partner."

Neither of them said anything for a while. A few minutes later, Chuuya had fallen asleep once again, his body fully rested on the skinny, bandaged man. Dazai figured taking the other to bed, and changing him would probably wake him up, and Chuuya clearly needed the rest. So, that night, the two of them ended up sleeping together on their very comfortable sofa, still in their work clothes. They could worry about changing and food the next day.

It is safe to say that Dazai forgot about the impending divorce that night.

v.

Dazai's indifference to the matter of their divorce didn't last very long. The next day, he was back at work, and ignoring his paperwork to think about his divorce with Chuuya. His husband had woken p feeling a lot better than the previous night, and the two of them had had a quiet and simple breakfast before each of them left for their respective workplaces.

Dazai had forgotten about his fourth failed divorce attempt, but it all came back to him when he got to work and took a look at his seldom-used 'To-Do List.'

Dazai's To-Do(n't) List
1. Divorce Chuuya
2. Kunikida-kun's paperwork
3. Pay the café tab
4. Stop shipping Atsushi and Akutagawa; they are not like you and Chuuya -Kunikida Doppo

What the hell? When did Kunikida-kun manage to scribble another task on Dazai's already way too long list?! Ah well, not important right now. Dazai had clearly failed at doing all his four, very important tasks. Since divorcing Chuuya was on top of the list, that was obviously the lazy detective's top priority. 

After a lot of thinking, and failed divorce attempts, Dazai finally decided to give up on asking Chuuya for divorce in person. Chuuya was too cute and that is never going to work. A simple email is going to suffice. Hence, Dazai went ahead to announce to his beloved mentee Atsushi, and his frustrated-beyond-limits work partner Kunikida, that he would be emailing to Chuuya about their divorce. 

Meanwhile, at the Port Mafia, Nakahara Chuuya was stuck in a meeting with Executive Kouyou, the entirety of Black Lizard, Akutagawa and his subordinate Higuchi. The meeting had been for a briefing report regarding yesterday's critical mission, and it had been going on for over an hour already.

When the meeting was finally over, and Chuuya was walking out of the meeting room, he somehow was stopped by all of the other participants for some reason or the other. Kouyou wanted to know if he was doing okay, and while Chuuya appreciated the concern, he just wanted to go back to his office and maybe drink some wine.

Tachihara wanted to tell him that he thought the executive's gravity-manipulating ability was super cool, and Gin was annoyed and ready to drag him off. Chuuya was secretly thanking the younger Akutagawa in his head. 

The older Akutagawa followed Chuuya to his office, insisting that he had something to tell Chuuya. Higuchi, as usual, was following her superior around, until she finally got told off by both her superiors, to give them some privacy.

Once the mafia executive and one of the mafia's most feared members were in the former's office, sans the blonde assistant, Akuatagawa cleared his throat to express his concerns, "Chuuya-san, I understand this is none of my business, but I got some... Intel, I suppose, from the Agency's weretiger."

Chuuya asked curiously, "We are on a truce with the Agency, so is it about another enemy organisation?"

Akutagawa maintained his stoic expression, "Ah, no. It's something more personal. The weretiger has told me that our mentor, Dazai-san, has been talking non-stop about his divorce with you. I just thought I should inform you of the circumstances."

Chuuya processed that for a second, before raising his eyebrows, "Will that be all?"

Akutagawa bowed with a response before leaving the other's office, "Yes, sir. I will be taking your leave now."

Chuuya mulled over his subordinate's words as he turned on his computer and opened his email, "Divorce, huh?"

Of course, when his email inbox finally loaded, an email from Dazai's extremely personal email address was waiting for him.

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: divorce !!

Dearest Hatrack,
I have tried to ask you for divorce four times now, each resulting in failure, because I made the mistake of marrying someone who is simply too cute. So, I'll do this by email, and ask you for divorce. It is time for I, Dazai Osamu, to be a free bird again! I'll attach the divorce papers, slug. Sign them please <33

xoxo
~Dazai

Chuuya first openly stared at this absurd email for a few seconds before snorting and marking the email as spam. He really did not have time for this today, he had more important things to attend to, such as mission reports.

Hence, unknown to Dazai at the time, his fifth attempt at divorcing a mafia executive was yet another failure.

+1.

Dazai had been eagerly anticipating a response email from his husband. An email which would signify his victory at achieving divorce at the age of twenty four, from his husband of six years. But unfortunately for him, the long-awaited email never came. And Dazai refreshed his inbox after every five minutes to check, too! 

Honestly. How rude of Chuuya to not digitally sign the divorce papers and send them in immediately. Dazai would have to have a few words with his husband, about manners and immediate replies before the two of them went to bed that night. 

Dazai's work day ended at seven that night, and he was yet to receive an email from Chuuya. By now, Dazai was convinced that Chuuya had forgotten to check his email that day. That was less likely to happen, but of course, Chuuya would never ignore such an important email from his beloved husband, would he? Dazai had full faith that his husband would never even dream of doing such a thing.

So, later that day, when Dazai finally unlocked the door to his penthouse, he surely wasn't expecting to see Chuuya home already. He'd expected that Chuuya would be home late, considering he never got an email response. Chuuya must have been very busy throughout the day to forgo replying to his husband's email, and hence his workload must have kept him late at work, right?

But no, Chuuya was cooking in the kitchen, while sipping wine from a fancy glass. He greeted when he saw Dazai walk in through the door, "Welcome home, shitty Mackerel. I'm making sushi today."

Dazai blinked at him, "You. You are home."

Chuuya scoffed, "Yes, genius. Are you sure you are a detective?"

Dazai ignored the heavy sarcasm and blinked at the other, "Say, Chuuya. Did you not receive a very important email from my personal account?"

Chuuya said distractedly, looking up from his cooking, "Eh? Oh, that email. Yeah, I got it. I marked it as spam."

Dazai gasped dramatically, "What?! Chuuya, how could you?! After I poured my heart and soul into writing that email and sending it to you instead of doing my job."

Chuuya threw a crumpled paper at him, "Bastard, you never do your work. Stop using me as an excuse."

Dazai took a seat at the dining table and slouched, "That is not the point! The point is that I sent you a very important email and you failed at responding to me!"

He whined further when Chuuya merely ignored him, "Chibi! Stop ignoring me! We have to talk about this, jeez."

Chuuya finally set up his rice cooker to cook the rice, and then sat down across Dazai, "Alright. Let's talk. You have until my sushi rice is cooked."

Dazai started the conversation with a strong point, "I sent you our divorce papers, which you were supposed to sign and send me."

His partner didn't say anything for a while, and the two of them stared each other down, engaging in a staring contest, and neither of them backing down. Finally, Chuuya gave in.

He waved his hand, "Oh, that. I figured signing the printed copies would make the divorce more legitimate, don't you think?"

Dazai pulled out a bunch of papers from his bag and slid them across the table, "Great idea, Chibi! Here are the papers and here's a pen. Now, sign it."

Chuuya raised his eyebrows at his husband, in response to which said husband just smiled innocently (nothing about his expression was innocent). The mafioso then skimmed through the writing on the papers; he'd learnt early in life to never sign anything without reading the finest print first.

After he was done reading everything, he looked up at his extremely annoying and obnoxious husband, "Dazai. These are not divorce papers. This is a suspiciously well-made contract binding me to be your 'dog for life'."

Dazai gave him an angelic (read: absolutely demonic) smile, "Oh, oops! Did I say divorce papers? I meant dog contract papers, of course!"

Chuuya sighed, raking his fingers through his hair, "Shitty Dazai. What is this about, really?"

After being married for so long, and having been together longer, Chuuya knew Dazai very well. Anybody else would think that this whole thing was just a big joke Dazai was playing on Chuuya, but the mafioso knew better.

Dazai said animatedly, "I'm just making sure Chuuya can never leave me! Hence, a binding contract."

Chuuya snorted, "What, our marriage certificate isn't enough of a contract for you?"

The ex mafioso shrugged, "Those things come with divorce as an option."

Chuuya said, trying to hide his simultaneous concern and amusement, "And you thought it would be a good idea to present this stupid contract under the guise of divorce papers to me, why?"

Dazai gasped, pretending to be offended, "Chuuya! How dare you call my contract stupid?"

Chuuya, of course, immediately noticed that Dazai had ignored his question. So, naturally, he pressed again, "Dazai. You didn't answer my question."

Dazai replied this time, meaning to sound joking, but his partner knew him well enough to detect the underlying vulnerability, "I thought Chuuya would be eager to divorce me! Then silly Chibi would sign my contract thinking it's divorce papers, and tied to me for life."

Chuuya knew insecurity when he saw it. He was self-aware enough to know of his own insecurities, and knew his partner well enough to know of his. So, he stood up and walked over to Dazai before putting an arm around his shoulders and hugging him close, "Shitty Dazai. I'm tied to you for life anyway. Divorce has never been an option."

Dazai clapped gleefully, "Well, of course! That is the result of you losing that one bet we made on the day we met, nine years ago, Chuuya!"

Chuuya murmured, "No, shitty Dazai. That is the result of me marrying your annoying ass willingly when we were eighteen, and when you decided to leave the Mafia."

Dazai finally allowed himself to be serious. He spoke quietly, "Have you ever regretted it?"

Chuuya shrugged and replied playfully, "Once or twice, when you stole all of my body wash. Other than that? No. Never."

Dazai whispered, "Chuuya~ You are being so nice today."

The mafia executive took a seat next to his husband and looked him in the eyes, "Listen to me, you asshole. You deserve nice things, and to be happy, alright? And I'm lucky enough that you chose me. I'd be an idiot for leaving you. So no, shitty Dazai, I will never be leaving you, or this apartment, or this life."

Dazai was speechless for a while. Yes, the once well-known demon prodigy of the mafia, the one known for his silver tongue, was capable of being speechless when it came to his husband. He then spoke up, "Chuuya deserves better."

The other gave him a small, sly smile, "In that case, you can try to be a better person in our next lifetime together, you piece of shit. In this one, and the ones after this, you're stuck with me anyway. Your sorry ass made wedding vows to me, and I don't allow take-backs."

Dazai was bad at feelings. It was a fact known to Chuuya. He had weird, underhanded ways of expressing his emotions. Chuuya was okay with that. He'd signed up for this at the young age of eighteen. He would never want anything else. 

A few seconds later, Dazai asked again, his voice tinged with happiness, "Are we going have to crab sushi, Chuuya?"

Chuuya stood up and laughed, "Yes, you social misfit."

Then the short man tilted his head downwards to kiss his idiot of a husband, "Happiness is a look suited on you, shitty Mackerel."

Dazai hummed, "Chuuya has only to thank himself for that."

Chuuya snorted, going back to work on his sushi, "Hell, yeah, I agree. You should thank me too, in the form of binge watching Winx Club this time."

Dazai said disbelievingly, "Isn't that another kids' sitcom with fairies?"

Chuuya rolled his eyes at him, "Yes, and? What's your point? We are still watching it."

Dazai commented, a small, playful smile on his face, "And are you going to fly around our living room pretending to be in the fairy fights?"

Chuuya bopped him on the nose, "Pretending is a bit too much. I will be flying around, though. Touch me when I'm trying to flitter like a fairy and I will hurt you."

Dazai gasped, "Chuuya would never! He loves me too much!"

Chuuya sighed as he rolled his sushi, "Yes, you sorry fucker. I love you too much."

Dazai genuinely sparkled this time, "I love Chuuya too!"

fin