Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Jongin stands there with both of his hands tucked inside his pants pocket, overlooking the night city from the top floor of his 20 floors building. He knows that everyone would die to be at his place. Jongin has everything that any man has ever wished for - status, job, wealth, good looks and body.

He tries to convince himself day and night how lucky he is to have them. But somewhere deep inside his heart, he knows it is all lies.

There is a large billboard hanging on the building across from him with bright spotlights shining upon it. He can't take his eyes off the man on the board - a smile on his face with a bouquet of flowers in his hands, head slightly tilting downwards, eyes looking up. The heart-shaped lips are still the same as Jongin remembers it, thick and red.

Kyungsoo looks like he doesn't age at all, beautiful but Jongin can't help to notice that there is less chubbiness on the man’s cheeks. It used to be very round. He would sneakily kiss it at every chance he got, which earned him sometimes a smack on his shoulder or a whine - a cute one.

He stands there a little too long, eyes staring at the angel. His heart twists in an unpleasant way when he knows the reality he is living in is the one where he can only see Kyungsoo but not touch him.

“President Kim,” a voice speaks up from the door to his office.

Jongin turns around, pulling out his hands from his pants pocket and approaches his working desk a few steps away from him. He sits down on the chair while gesturing for his secretary to enter.

The lady in a black skirt reaches down to her knees, walks towards his boss with a white file in her hands.

She stands in front of the glass desk, placing two different files in front of Jongin.

“This is the list of potential movies that the production team has put together. According to the financial department’s revised budget, we should be able to invest in one or two.”

Jongin nods and sends her away.

He puts on his reading glasses before flipping through the files.

“Love and Us. Seokhwa has 6 months to live, decides to find his first love and… No. Too tragic.” He flips to the next page, chin resting on the palm of his hand as he continues reading.

“Sweet, sweet, love. Hayeon has been crushing on her boss for over a year. Her love story starts to develop when she moves next door… Cliche. Nope.”

Jongin sighs as he drinks his protein shake. His phone vibrates when he puts down his tumbler. He leans over to take a look at his phone’s screen.

‘Let’s get a drink tonight.’

The expression on Jongin’s face remains unchanged. He is planning to go home and sleep after he has decided which movies he wants to invest in, that is if he manages to make a decision by tonight.

Jongin flips to the next page.

“Love again. Seungho tries to win over his ex-girlfriend after realizing that he couldn’t forget her although 5 years have passed. Cliche.”

He feels a little self-conscious when he reads the last couple of words. It sounds like he's reading his own life story without the ‘trying to win over the ex’ part. It has been over 5 years since he broke up with Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo still selfishly lives in his mind rent-free. Jongin tries to shift the blame to Kyungsoo for being unable to leave his thoughts. But he knows that a part of him still deeply longing for his ex-boyfriend.

He sighs, fingers about to turn to the next page but he stops midway when he reads a familiar name on the same page.

“Do Kyungsoo - Lee Seungho.”

Jongin crosses his arms against his chest, brows knitted, trying to make sense of the situation unfolding in front of him.

“What are you trying to tell me here?” He asks no one.

“Is this a sign? Are you telling me to be like Seungho? Win Kyungsoo over? Is this what’s happening here?”

He interlocked his fingers and put his chin on it, deep in thought. One may think that Jongin is insane if they see him in this manner. But truthfully, we always try to find clues in every single thing that appears in front of us, figuring out if there’s a hidden meaning and not entirely assuming that it is a coincidence.

And the man is maybe too desperate.

It doesn't help his case either when he sees a large Kyungsoo staring back at him everytime he looks out the window from his office. It has been there since last week.

Jongin curls his fingers into a fist as he lightly hits his forehead with his eyes closed, as if he is racking his brain, an attempt to make sense of the situation.

“Should I choose this one? Maybe I'll get to see him again.”

He sighs as he stops hitting himself and puts his hands down. There is a brief silence, a dreadful one. All sorts of expressions appear on Jongin’s face. He is a brilliant 34 years old man who runs one of the successful television and radio network companies in South Korea - EXO at a young age. But the fact he is easily swayed by uncertainties for his own selfish needs make him question his credibility.

Comments: Highly recommended. 2 of Director Han’s films have been nominated for awards. The lines of actors and actresses are rising stars and the current sensation.

Jongin reads the comment at the bottom of the page.

He presses a button on the phone to call for his secretary.

Once his secretary stands near his table, he hands over the files.

“Let’s invest in Love again. Please arrange accordingly.”

His secretary nods before she walks out of the office.

“Oh, one more thing. I would like to have a full update on this project,” he added with a firm tone.

Jongin lets out his breath and melts on the chair.

“Well, it’s not entirely for my own selfish reasons. The production team puts 5 stars on that movie.”

At this point, Jongin only tries to convince himself because no one would bother to question his decision as the amount allocated for this investment isn't large. There is definitely a return but not a high return. They have a yearly budget to spend on mid-tier movies to support the filming industry especially for the small production companies and new or rising stars.

Jongin mentally thanks his secretary for convincing him to leave the final decision to the CEO, which is him.

“Now what?”

//

It is the fifth outfit he has tried on that day. The CEO of EXO can't seem to make up his mind on which outfit he should wear for a very special and important occasion - the Love Again read-through session (Kyungsoo will be there).

He tried to ignore the look on the director’s and his secretary’s face when he announced that he would attend most of the events and meetings related to the Love Again movie. No president of any big companies would personally be present at a small-scale project. It was a surprise for the production team when they heard a strange demand leaving President Kim’s lips.

Jongin can't hide the smile on his face when the thought of meeting Kyungsoo again suddenly crosses his mind. 5 years is a really long time. He doesn’t know how he managed to go through those years without seeing Kyungsoo in the flesh.

But he is going to break that chain today.

Jongin puts on the fanciest and flashiest outfit he has in his walk-in closet but decides to tone it down a bit when he realizes he would stand out too much. Jongin chose a dark blue tuxedo and white button up shirt instead. He also wears a matching vest under the blazer and a brown leather shoe. An expensive watch around his wrist.

He quietly admires his reflection on the large mirror hanging on the wall. There is a smirk on his face, the kind that he knows he is good looking and attractive. The cloth covering his arms are slightly tight as the man has been religiously visiting the gym to maintain his figure for the past years.

Jongin definitely aces the physical look. Kyungsoo will not be able to sit through the entire script reading without secretly looking at him. That is the one thing he is very sure of.

He straightens his blazer and fixes his strands of hairs while still looking at himself through the mirror. Jongin lets out a nervous sigh. Despite his overflowing confidence and charisma, a part of him isn't sure if Kyungsoo still has feelings for him, even the slightest. Jongin isn't sure either if he can make Kyungsoo love him again. It has been 5 long years.

He knows that it is his fault. He was the one that broke up with Kyungsoo. The only person who he should be blaming is himself, not Kyungsoo, other people or the circumstances. He let Kyungsoo go. And there isn't a day that goes by without regrets.

It is crazy, really, how a small incident that probably means nothing, but a mere coincidence could motivate Jongin to do what he is about to do. Love really makes you do the strangest things.

And so it begins - Love Again project.

//

Jongin tries his hardest to maintain his cool but his heart isn't cooperating with him, neither is his face because he can't seem to stop smiling. His secretary has been consistently asking him if he is ok. Jongin shakes it off and acts like he is super invested in this project, which is in fact the truth.

He stops in front of the closed white door, clearing his throat as he fixes his blazer.

This is it. He can finally see Kyungsoo.

Jongin reaches over to push the door but the door is being pulled from the inside, making Jongin stumble forward, almost losing his balance and cool. All eyes are on him. Jongin puts on a smile as everyone greets him. A wonderful way to leave a first impression. He follows behind his secretary towards his designated seat.

Jongin pulls the chair and settles down while his secretary sits behind him. The tables are arranged to form a big rectangle with an empty space in the middle. Actors, actresses and crews of the production team sit around the table.

He really did try to not look like he was looking for someone. But Jongin finds himself unable to restrain himself and ends up looking for the person who makes him do something out of character.

Kyungsoo is sitting opposite of him, only a few steps away, so close yet so far. He is wearing glasses, short hair and a black hoodie that drowns the small figure. Cute, Jongin thought.

The rising actor is flipping through the book script while talking to a man sitting next to him, which Jongin assumes is the co-actor, whose name is written on the label card on the table but Jongin can't bother reading it. Jongin sits there with a grin on his face, appreciating the beautiful view.

The Kyungsoo in front of him is definitely better than the one he saw from his office’s window. Kyungsoo really doesn't look like he has aged. His skin is fair, round eyes and a cute button nose. But Jongin does notice that Kyungsoo seems to have lost a bit of weight. Snippets of the memories he had with Kyungsoo flashes through his mind, playing like a mini trailer of their love story. He feels the weight on his shoulder has been lifted.

The man he has longed for years is finally in front of his eyes.

He wonders to himself why he didn't think of doing it sooner. It is a brilliant plan to invest in a movie that Kyungsoo is starring in. He could have seen Kyungsoo way much sooner and not wasted 5 years. But then Jongin realizes that he didn't have much power like he does right now. It isn't even a year yet since he was appointed as the new CEO of EXO. He worked very hard to gain his father’s and the shareholders' trust.

But now, Jongin is capable of calling the shots. He tries to reason his actions as not an abuse of power but a way to make the best of it without hurting anyone in order to win in love. To be quite frank, there isn't much difference between the two besides the fact that Jongin uses excuses to mask his lovestruck.

“Good morning everyone. I’m Director Han who’ll be directing Love Again. First of all, I would like to thank everyone that decided to join hands with me to work on this film. I’m truly grateful. I would like to introduce our investor from EXO, the president himself. President Kim, if you may. Care to give a short speech?” Director Han says, laughing awkwardly as he clasps his hands together.

Jongin smiles and stands up. “I personally chose this project because it has a very big potential. I’m looking forward to seeing the movie. Please don’t hesitate to talk to my secretary, in case you find me intimidating,” the room breaks into small chuckles.

“If you need anything or any assistance in regard to the movie,” he continues.

Jongin sits down and offers a smile to everyone who is clapping for him.

He looks to the front to see Kyungsoo’s reaction, but the actor looks unbothered while staring at Director Han.

“Alright. Now, let’s introduce the line of actors and actresses. Do Kyungsoo will be playing Lee Seungho. Park Yuri will be playing Im Sora…” Jongin turns deaf to Director Han’s introduction. His world gradually becomes silent and everyone in the room disappears one by one, leaving only him and Kyungsoo in that very space.

Kyungsoo has not looked at him once since the moment he walked into the room. The ladies’s stares are too obvious to remain unnoticed. But Jongin is used to it by now. He is a good-looking man and the youngest CEO in the country. Who wouldn't want to look at him?

But the person he is trying to impress doesn't even bat an eyelash in his direction. Jongin would be lying if he said it doesn't hurt him. He did put extra effort on his outfit, something he rarely does.

They start the read-through session. Jongin occasionally flips through the script while looking at Kyungsoo even when it isn't the man’s turn to speak his parts.

Jongin imagined that they would lock eyes like in one of those dramas he has watched. And they would stare at each other long enough that they started to feel a spark igniting inside of them. They would fall in love again. But unfortunately, that didn't happen. So, it is true, it is called drama for a reason - it never happens in real life.

The read-through went over an hour. Jongin thought the time passed by fast, knowing that Kyungsoo still had not looked at him. He feels slightly irritated but he can’t possibly blame Kyungsoo. Maybe Kyungsoo doesn't find him attractive anymore. Beauty is subjective.

But Jongin doesn't plan on giving up anytime soon. He stands up after they end the read-through session and walks towards Kyungsoo without hesitation.

The plan is to say hi and flashes his most seductive smile.

“Hi,” Jongin starts and holds out his hand.

It takes a few seconds before Kyungsoo grabs his hand and looks up.

Their eyes finally meet. Jongin feels he is on cloud nine and breaks into a huge grin. No seductive smile apparently.

Kyungsoo offers a business smile that drags Jongin out of his trance.

“Looking forward to working with you, President Kim,” the actor says and pulls his hand away.

“Umm. Yes. Likewise, Do Kyungsoo.”

“If you may excuse me, I’m running late for my next schedule,” Kyungsoo apologizes as he leaves Jongin standing there all alone.

Jongin was not able to process that brief meeting he had with Kyungsoo.

“Does he remember me?” Jongin whispers to himself.

“Sorry, President Kim. Did you say something?”

“No.” Jongin clears his throat as he finds his secretary standing next to him.

//

Kim Jongin is going through a huge crisis. It is probably one of the biggest crises he has ever encountered in his 34 years of living in this world. He can't shake off the thought that Kyungsoo might not even remember him.

“You need to lose the tense. Here,” Sehun, his childhood friend, offers a glass of whiskey to Jongin.

Jongin takes the glass and downs the drink in one go. He wipes his mouth with his hand in one swift.

“Alright, dude. Not too fast. I’m not taking you home. Sober you is already a handful,” Sehun says while looking at Jongin judgingly.

Jongin groans as he leans his forehead on the high bar. “I’m screwed.”

His friend chuckles as he pops a couple of nuts into his mouth. The first two top buttons of his silk shirt are left unbuttoned, exposing his chest a little too much to be considered as appropriate. There is an expensive watch worth millions of won wrapped around his left wrist.

“You can always ask him directly. And if he does forget about you, that’s your fault,” Sehun says with his index finger pointing towards Jongin accusingly.

Jongin sighs miserably. He knows that it is indeed his fault. He doesn't need anyone to remind him of that fact.

There are not many people in the high-end bar. It is a member only bar at the top floor of one of the sky risers in Seoul. Both of them enjoy the privacy and the jazzy ambience the bar has to offer. Being the CEO of a successful company comes with a lot of perks, and that includes the money department.

The tanned man sits straight as he pours himself a whiskey. He takes a sip.

“But I’m trying to win him over. Can you at least show some support, Sehun? You’re my friend,” Jongin complains while holding his glass.

Sehun laughs at his friend’s desperation. “Ok,” he says while putting both of his hands up, a gesture to calm Jongin down. “Let’s start with why you broke up with him. Then, we can figure out what was the problem and fix it.”

“You know why.” Jongin puts down his glass, index finger tracing the ring mindlessly.

“No. I don’t know. Tell me,” Sehun’s voice is monotone. It is true that he knows why Jongin broke up with Kyungsoo but he wants Jongin to say it again. A reminder that the one who messed up is his friend himself.

“I was busy with my work after I was promoted to senior manager. In my defense, I was scared of disappointing my father. You know how insufferable he can be. Kyungsoo was the first, heck, the only man that I’ve been in a relationship with.”

“That’s because you haven’t been in one since you broke up with him,” Sehun interrupts him.

“Ok. I do find men attractive but not like how I find Kyungsoo attractive. I wasn’t sure either if what we had was even real. Maybe it was fleeting emotions. I made up excuses that I was busy and he also needs to focus on his acting,” Jongin adds.

His friend hums. “And now you want him back?”

“Yes. Shit. Sehun, you need to help me. I just need to know if he still remembers me.”

“I don’t know if I can be of any help. But why now?”

Sehun finds it odd that Jongin decided to court Kyungsoo again after 5 years have passed. He knows that his friend has not completely gotten over his past lover because every time they do meet up, Jongin would mention Kyungsoo’s name or brag about actor Kyungsoo in any of his recent movies or dramas.

Jongin would speak of Kyungsoo very dearly. His eyes would bright up. Kyungsoo has grown to become a brilliant actor. He still has a lot to learn but still a great one. He has starred in a couple of movies and dramas as a supporting actor. Jongin never misses any of Kyungsoo’s works.

Kyungsoo also has a nice personality, just like how Jongin remembers it. He is a true gentleman with a priceless smile that can sweep anyone off their feets.

Although Jongin doesn't say it out loud, Sehun knows that Jongin is still very much in love with Kyungsoo.

“I know I may sound selfish when I say this, but I have everything that I could ever have now. I’m the CEO of EXO and I don’t take orders from my dad anymore. I can do anything. And I want Kyungsoo back in my life too,” he confesses.

“I’m not sure if Kyungsoo would appreciate what you just told me.”

“I want to do what I want for once. I’m going to win his heart. Yes. You know what. I’m going to do exactly that.” He is probably talking to himself by then.

“A shot of Tequila. Wait, no. Margaritas please,” a familiar voice speaks up from the other end of the high bar.

The two men turn their heads towards the voice and gasps at the unexpected sight.

Jongin quickly turns his head away. “It’s Kyungsoo,” he whispers aggressively.

“No, shit,” Sehun is slightly amused.

“This is definitely God's work. It can’t be a coincidence. There are probably 100 bars in Seoul and both of us decided to come to the same one.”

The tanned man couldn't help it but to start connecting the dots. It is similar to that night when he contemplated whether to read too much into the clues unraveling in front of him, which he eventually did.

“Have you ever thought that maybe he’s here to see me,” Sehun teases as he fixes his watch.

“Are you even my friend?”

Sehun chuckles, eyes observing the young man sitting a few chairs away from them. Kyungsoo still looks like the Kyungsoo he remembers seeing. Cute.

“Hey, eyes on me,” Jongin blocks his friend’s line of sight, eyes glaring at him.

Sehun scoffs as he takes a sip from his glass. “Why are you so protective? He’s not even yours.”

“I’m going to talk to him,” Jongin suddenly speaks up.

Sehun clears his throat, terrified for his friend’s sanity.

Jongin stands up and slightly fixes his hair. He straightened the fabric on his shoulder, a baby blue shirt that has a low-cut neck, slightly exposing his collarbone.

“How do I look?”

There is a distinct pain expression on Sehun’s face. He wants to disappear from there that very moment.

“Oh no. Jongin, please don’t go and embarrass yourself,” he grumbles as his fingers press on his forehead to soothe the incoming headache.

“Dude come on. I’m Kim Jongin.”

“Yes, I know. But the lovestruck Kim Jongin isn’t the type I want to deal with,” Sehun stresses the words ‘lovestruck Kim Jongin’.

Jongin rolls his eyes as he whispers, “dramatic,” before he approaches Kyungsoo.

He isn't planning to back out. It is now or never.

Once he stands near Kyungsoo, the man clears his throat to catch the other’s attention. There is a confident smile on his face. Sehun is cursing under his breath while observing his friend from a distance.

Kyungsoo looks pretty from Jongin’s point of view. His side profile is breathtaking. The man is wearing a black sweater, paired with knee length pants and a black cap.

Jongin’s face lights up when Kyungsoo turns his head, and their eyes meet briefly. He is about to say something but Kyungsoo turns away too quickly.

“Why does it have to be the person I don’t want to see that approaches me?” Jongin could hear Kyungsoo whispering to himself.

Jongin smiles knowingly. “So, you do remember me,” he states, heart brimming with excitement.

Kyungsoo sighs as he finishes his drink. The younger man stands up in front of Jongin, taking off his cap in frustration, hairs slightly disheveled and cheeks turning a shade of pink. “Why won’t I? The man who broke up with me.”

There is a thick silence hanging in the air.

“Oh.” Jongin is speechless, a little taken back by the fact that Kyungsoo just slaps on his face.

“I’m s-”

“No. I don’t really care anymore. It’s in the past. So, can you please leave me alone?” Kyungsoo interrupts before Jongin could finish his sentence.

The rising actor walks away, leaving Jongin standing there all alone, dumbfounded for the second time that day.

The good news is Kyungsoo does remember him.

//

It is the first day of filming. Jongin bought lunch for all the crew members involved in the movie. He decides to show off his good side to Kyungsoo, that he isn't just a CEO but a kindhearted and considerate one.

Although Sehun did warn him that the production crew may find him overbearing, knowing that no one likes it when their bosses manage their work closely. But Jongin didn't take his friend’s advice seriously and kept on marching forward.

He offers his biggest and sweetest smile to everyone. Jongin knows that the ladies are smitten by his look and personality at that point. He could resist him.

In the first scene of the movie, Lee Seungho stands in front of a river, dressed in expensive clothes while thinking about the meaning of life. He is a successful businessman who owns hundreds of convenience stores outlets across Asia. But there is still a part of him that feels empty.

Jongin takes a moment to digest the paragraphs he was reading. He clears his throat as he loosens his tie a bit. It is scary that Kim Jongin and Lee Seungho share a lot of similarities. Jongin wonders if the screenwriter knows him on a personal level.

But Jongin is pretty sure he has not shared anything personal about himself to anyone except his childhood friend, Oh Sehun. It is definitely a coincidence.

“Camera ready,” the director shouts.

Jongin looks up from where he is sitting down, a few meters away from the filming set. He can see Kyungsoo from a distance, looking good and handsome in a pair of dark brown tuxedos. His hairs are styled upwards, making him look even more dashing and charismatic. It is no surprise that Do Kyungsoo is the new rising actor. Everyone would have fallen for him. Besides being a talented actor, Kyungsoo is also a true gentleman and good looking.

The camera starts rolling and Jongin can't take his eyes off Kyungsoo. He smiles, wondering how much has happened to Kyungsoo in those 5 years. Did he have a hard time when he was a trainee? Did anyone mistreat him? Or undervalued his worth? Did he get enough sleep? Jongin wants to know everything about Kyungsoo.

“President Kim, I have President Han on the line,” his secretary approaches him with one hand holding the phone.

Jongin nods his head and stands up to take the call. There are some changes in the contract his company has made with an entertainment agency. They need to physically see each other to sign the new contract for the sake of formality but President Han is currently in Japan for a business trip.

The call lasted longer than he expected it to be. By the time he returns to the filming scene, the crew has started packing up. His secretary informs him that he needs to leave in a few minutes to make it to his next meeting with the marketing department on time, to discuss the end of year plan.

Jongin didn't think of leaving today without exchanging a few words with Kyungsoo. He tells his secretary to wait for him in the car with his driver. Jongin walks briskly towards Kyungsoo, standing by the river while taking pictures of the scenery using his phone.

He tries to not make a sound, approaching Kyungsoo with much discretion. There is a visible smile drawn on his face. Both of them are standing a bit further from the crews, which Jongin appreciates because he could talk to Kyungsoo without anyone bothering them.

“Kyung--”

“Ah!”

Jongin is shocked at the sudden loud scream that leaves the other’s lips.

“What were you thinking? Sneaking up on me like that,” Kyungsoo says, mortified with his eyes widened.

“Umm. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jongin states, one hand tucks inside his pants pocket. He doesn't expect Kyungsoo to react that way. “I forgot that you are easily startled.”

Kyungsoo’s expression changes instantly. He clears his throat, making his way back to the filming set.

Before Kyungsoo can take another step further, he loses his balance when he accidentally trips on the uneven pavements. His body is thrown backwards, waiting for the ground to meet him.

But Jongin is quick to catch Kyungsoo in his arms, hands wrapped around the slender waist from behind. It reminded him of their first meeting. Jongin feels his heartbeat quicken when Kyungsoo is pressed against his chest. A sweet scent hits his nose, making him unconsciously leaning closer to take another whiff of that addictive fragrance.

Everything about Kyungsoo is addictive.

Jongin can feel Kyungsoo’s body stiffen. He helps Kyungsoo to stand on his two feet.

Their eyes locked for a brief second before Kyungsoo walks away.

Jongin thinks that his plan to win Kyungsoo back is progressing excellently. He mentally thanks the pavement for giving him a helping hand. It is always the small or brief touches that sneakily makes its way to the heart, just like in those romantic dramas. One might think Jongin is way over his head because the reality is, Kyungsoo hardly gives him any attention.

The CEO is committed to attend most of Kyungsoo's filming schedules but his attempts to get Kyungsoo to talk to him or even look at his way fails miserably. Kyungsoo would ignore him 90% of the time. The other 10% is when there are other people watching them. Kyungsoo had to maintain a good image. He is obligated to reply to the President of EXO’s questions out of respect.

Kyungsoo would give Jongin a business smile, the kind that Jongin truly hates.

He moves to plan B, which is asking for Kyungsoo’s phone number from the actor’s manager. And obviously, he gives the ‘for work purposes’ as an excuse.

//

It has become a daily routine for Jongin to message Kyungsoo. He decides to be shameless and continue messaging the source of his affection.

‘Hi Kyungsoo. It’s me, Jongin hyung. I got your number from your manager.’

‘Have you eaten?’

‘I couldn’t make it to the filming today. I’m swamped with work :( I promise I’ll come see you next week.’

‘I sent sandwiches to the crew. I hope you like it.’

‘Do you still like flowers?’

‘Don’t forget to rest well. I know you’re working hard.’

But all of his messages are left on read. It is ok, Jongin comforts himself. Kyungsoo needs time to warm up to the idea that a man, his ex-boyfriend to be specific, is courting him. Jongin knows that the moment he signs up for the Love Again project, it will not be an easy ride.

First, he deserves the cold shoulder Kyungsoo is giving him. He was an asshole who dumped his boyfriend for selfish reasons. Second, Kyungsoo is an actor. Same-sex love probably will take a toll on his career if the media exposed him and Kyungsoo probably doesn't have time for love too. But Jongin is planning to change that. He is willing to go to extra lengths to make their relationship work. Third, Kyungsoo might not have any feelings for him anymore.

Jongin frowns at the last reason. There is an unpleasant feeling settles at the bottom of his heart. It makes him wonder, if that is truly the case, Jongin doesn't think he stands a shot. He beats himself for letting Kyungsoo go. Younger Jongin was scared and foolish.

Jongin had lived his whole life as his father’s shadow, following the old man around with a big burden resting on his shoulder. He was expected to take over the company once his father retired. Jongin was a lot of things back then, and that included troublesome, stubborn and self-centered. He would fool around with his job, knowing that his father wouldn't dare to fire him. Jongin took things for granted.

But that started to change when he was forced by his father to attend a business meeting with Diamond Ent (Entertainment). Jongin needed to coordinate with the agency’s planning team for the end of year show. He first saw Do Kyungsoo at the entertainment’s company building. The 19 years old boy was a few months old trainee, preparing to debut as an actor.

Jongin remembers the petite boy with a nervous smile, fingers kept fidgeting with the end of his shirt. He wondered how a future actor could be very timid when he would be expected to act in front of cameras and people.

Jongin kept seeing the boy whenever he visited Diamond Ent. Sometimes, he found himself unconsciously looking for the boy. There was nothing more than mere fascination that blossomed inside his heart. He would feel disgusted by himself if he had a romantic feeling towards a person who was 6 years younger than him, a male to top it off. Kyungsoo was barely at a legal age.

The first time they spoke to each other was at the rooftop. Jongin was taking a smoking break to let off some steam. His father threatened him to cut off all his financial support, leaving him with only his monthly salary. Certainly, considering his lifestyle, Jongin wouldn't be able to survive even for a day.

While he was taking a long drag from his cigarette, he heard a voice coming from behind the artificial trees. His body moved towards it and saw Kyungsoo standing with one hand holding the paper.

Kyungsoo was practicing the lines he read from the script in his hand. It was a sad dialogue. Jongin didn't remember the exact words but something along the lines of, “I’ve worked so hard to be where I am right now.”

The expression on the boy’s face was intense, forehead furrowed with eyes glistened in tears. The grips on the papers tightened as it crunched it on the side. Jongin was captivated. He stood there while observing the boy in silence.

Jongin knew then that Kyungsoo would make a great actor in the future.

Kyungsoo was startled by his presence, almost lost his footing but Jongin saved him from kissing the floor. The red tints on Kyungsoo’s cheeks were evident, which Jongin found adorable.

“You should be careful. We don’t want a scratch on your beautiful face,” Jongin said. He had always been good with words.

They started talking more. Kyungsoo looked up to Jongin like a big brother. The young boy came to Seoul on his own to pursue his dream. He had no one to depend on in this big city. Jongin came into his life at the right time.

Jongin admired Kyungsoo’s courage. He couldn't imagine himself doing the same thing. What started off as a hyung-dongsaeng relationship grew into something more meaningful. They found themselves looking forward to seeing each other.

The more Jongin learnt about Kyungsoo, the more he fell for him. Kyungsoo was hardworking, passionate and beautiful. He was also insecure and would feel worthless when he failed to perform well during the monthly evaluation. Jongin would hug and comfort Kyungsoo until he wiped away all the tears.

Something inside him changed. Jongin started to take his work more seriously. His father pointed it out, in which he dismissed it by saying, “it’s nothing. I’m just doing my work.” Seeing Kyungsoo restless and working so hard to secure his spot at his agency made him realize that he was acting like a spoiled brat.

They started dating a few months after Kyungsoo turned 20. Jongin didn't expect Kyungsoo to say yes so quickly but he did hope for it to happen. Jongin remembers their relationship as a good memory, a sweet one too.

They spent most of their time together at Jongin’s home. Jongin was in love. He had never been so in love before and Kyungsoo made him experience all sorts of emotions, the kind that kept him awake at night with a huge grin on his face.

He never imagined that he would be in a relationship with a man. He was not completely sure in the beginning if what they had was real. Jongin grew up knowing that love between the same gender was unnatural. But the moment felt perfect - their relationship felt real.

Jongin was a heartthrob but he was not the type to do one-night stands. As much as he fell into the stereotypical rich and good-looking man category, love is the one thing he wouldn't play around with. But he took a chance on love with Kyungsoo.

They became each other's support system. Kyungsoo kept Jongin grounded and sane while Jongin would hold Kyungsoo when he was insecure and scared of what the future held. Both of them were caught up with work and practices. But they would still make time to be together.

Kyungsoo changed him in a lot of ways. Jongin became more responsible with his work. He also stopped smoking because his boyfriend couldn't handle the smell of the smoke sticking on his clothes. Everything was great. It was too good to be true.

But their relationship gradually fell apart when Jongin was promoted to senior manager two years later. Reality suddenly hit him, learning that it was actually happening. He could feel the pressure when his father started to rely on him to handle more important tasks and decisions. Jongin worked day and night to meet his father’s expectations. Jongin felt the darkness enclosed him when his father spoke ill of homosexuality. The thought of seeing disappointment on his father’s face haunted his dreams.

Two months passed by quickly and he realized he had not seen Kyungsoo since he was promoted. He would occasionally reply to the younger’s messages. When he did see Kyungsoo again, it was the day he broke up with him.

He used work as an excuse and Kyungsoo should also focus on debuting as an actor. Jongin left before he could see the tears rolling down Kyungsoo’s face.

It was also the moment he regretted the most in his whole life because no matter what he did to distract himself from thinking of Kyungsoo, it was fruitless.

//

Jongin wants to at least apologize to Kyungsoo.

He waits for Kyungsoo in front of the actor’s condominium unit. He decides to confront Kyungsoo tonight. Kyungsoo has been avoiding him so much that Jongin has not made any progress on his mission to win Kyungsoo over.

“You’re acting like a stalker. Should I report you to the police?” Kyungsoo says, annoyance written all over his face.

“No. I’m here to say I’m sorry.”

The younger man scoffs. “Ok. For what?”

“About what happened to us 5 years ago,” Jongin says earnestly.

There is a brief silence before Kyungsoo speaks up again. “It’s all in the past. It means nothing anymore to me.”

Jongin presses his lips together, feeling his heart drowns in pain at Kyungsoo’s brutal honesty.

“If it means nothing to you, then why do you keep avoiding me?”

Kyungsoo sighs in exasperation. “Oh my god, Jongin. Are you really asking me that question?”

“I apologized. I’m trying to be nice to you, to make up for everything that I’ve done.” Jongin takes a step forward in desperation. He doesn't understand why Kyungsoo couldn't see the meaning behind his efforts for the past two months. Isn’t it enough?

“I don’t need you to be nice to me. Why do you even want to talk to me again?”

Jongin stands there, lip-tight with his eyes staring at the other, looking for answers.

“I--”

“See, you can’t even answer that question,” Kyungsoo cuts in.

“Just leave me alone. We’ve done it for 5 years. Why stop now?” are the last words Kyungsoo says before he enters his home, slamming the door on Jongin’s face.

Jongin is speechless. He hates himself for being unable to express his feelings to Kyungsoo. He can't pinpoint where and why he couldn’t tell Kyungsoo that he still loves him. It sounds so easy and simple in his head. But he froze at the crucial moment when he needed to say those three words the most.

He goes home that night with a hole in his heart. He feels empty. It feels like he went back to square one. But it is far worse than when he first started. Kyungsoo told him to leave him alone. He is unneeded.

For the first time in his life, Jongin feels utterly clueless. He needs to revise his plan. Certainly, the man isn't going to give up. Not yet. He needs to tell Kyungsoo he loves him.

//

“Dude, have you ever considered that maybe he has been rejecting your advances because he’s unavailable? He has a boyfriend, or girlfriend?” Sehun questions while eyes fixated on the phone screen with his two thumbs repeatedly tapping on it.

Jongin’s fingers stop typing, eyes looking up at his friend, pondering about Sehun’s question for a second. “No way. Kyungsoo? No.”

“I mean it’s been,” Sehun stops midway, face scrunches bitterly. “Fuck. I lost,” he ends his sentence.

He puts down his phone on Jongin’s work desk in defeat, hands crossed against his chest. “I mean it’s been 5 years.”

“I’ve been single for 5 years.”

“That’s because you’re old and complicated. Kyungsoo is still in his twenties-”

“Late twenties,” Jongin cuts his friend’s sentence.

Sehun rolls his eyes, shrug at Jongin’s comment. “Still in his twenties. And he’s a popular actor. There’s a high chance that he has someone in his life. That’s not you obviously.”

Jongin leans against his chair while fixing his reading glasses. They decided to hang out at his office when Sehun called him earlier.

“Shit. How do I find out about that?”

Sehun shrugs again, unamused. “I don’t know. Twitter? Ask someone? You’re an influential man in the industry. I think it’s fair to assume that no rumours would go by without you hearing them.”

“You know I don’t really pay attention to them.”

“Well, now is the time to care if you want to know about your-,” Sehun pauses, mouth hangs open as he is thinking of a word to describe who Kyungsoo is in Jongin’s life. “Crush?”

Jongin unlocks his phone and opens a browser. “What do I search for?”

“Jongin, I know I said you’re old. But you’re not that old.”

He tells Jongin which sites to check and what to search.

“There are a few comments on a post about Kyungsoo’s ideal type in Maeil Talk. Kyungsoo is into sexy girls with long hair and has a strong personality.” Jongin frowns in displeasure.

“Oh there’s a video.” He presses on the video attached to the post and waits for it to play.

“Everyone is curious. What’s your ideal type, Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo chuckles. Jongin is smiling from ear to ear.

“Someone who’s kind and has a pretty smile.”

“You have a pretty smile too,” Jongin says to his phone screen.

“What? Did you say something?” Sehun asks, who’s busy scrolling something on his phone.

Jongin shows the video to his friend. “Listen, he didn’t specify a gender when he was talking about his ideal type. He could still be attracted to man. I still stand a chance.”

“You’re over your head, dude. I don’t know if I can save you at this point,” Sehun states with a straight smile on his face.

Jongin glares at the other and continues surfing the internet.

He comes across a post that says Kyungsoo is currently dating a non-celebrity for over a year. They met each other during Kyungsoo’s training days. Jongin lets out a sigh, mind thinking of all sorts of possibilities that ends with Jongin and Kyungsoo remaining as strangers.

He copies the link of the site and forwards it to Sehun’s phone.

“Is this true?” he asks.

Sehun opens the link and takes a minute to read the post. “Don’t believe everything you see on the internet.” He shakes his head as he dials a number on his phone.

Sehun moves towards the glass window that stretches from the floor up to the ceiling behind Jongin to take the call.

“Is that Kyungsoo?” he asks when he sees a huge billboard of Kyungsoo across him. He laughs at his friend’s misery.

Jongin isn't responding to his remark, too caught up with everything that is going on in his head.

He feels demotivated, learning that there is a high probability that Kyungsoo is dating someone. He feels like an idiot for not considering that possibility in the beginning. It is true that Kyungsoo is young, popular and good looking. It would be weird if Kyungsoo is not seeing anyone.

“Cheer up,” Sehun says as he returns to his chair. “Kyungsoo isn’t seeing anyone. I called someone who owes me a favor. And you’re lucky I’m using it for you.”

Jongin’s face brightens up with hope.

“The reporter I know gives up following Kyungsoo because his life is boring? I didn’t bother to dig into it. But he’s currently single. He did say that there was a rumour Kyungsoo dated someone when he was a trainee - a man. There was no proof so most of the reporters dropped the scope.”

“That man was me.”

“Why do you look so proud?” Sehun was disgusted.

Jongin feels relieved to hear the news. “So, this is another piece of good news. He’s single. I’m definitely winning.”

//

The word ‘give up’ doesn’t exist in Jongin’s dictionary. He keeps on courting Kyungsoo in every chance he gets. He would find an opportunity to talk to the actor. Although Kyungsoo has been consistently ignoring him without fail. But Jongin knows that hard work will definitely reward him, maybe not now, surely soon.

The filming for the Love Again movie has entered its final week. Everything went as planned. The movie will end on a good note. Jongin is happy to know that he is one of the major contributors to the success of this movie, without him Kyungsoo may not be able to take part in this project.

It is true that Kyungsoo has avoided him with such passion, but he has not physically and vocally pushed him away. Jongin takes it as a good sign that Kyungsoo doesn't entirely hate him.

It is to the point that Kyungsoo’s manager asks if there is anything between Kyungsoo and him in front of them. Kyungsoo quickly dismisses it. “President Kim is our investor, hyung. We certainly have to maintain a good relationship,” he says as he flashes his business smile.

Jongin feels slightly hurt by the comment. No matter how patient he can be, Jongin also has his limit and pride.

It has been over three months. The filming has ended and the whole production crew is celebrating it at a restaurant.

Jongin is sitting down next to Director Han, a table away from Kyungsoo and the other actors and actresses. He sees Kyungsoo standing up, excusing himself to go to the toilet. Jongin follows Kyungsoo and corners the man at the hallway heading towards the toilet.

He puts his palm on the wall with Kyungsoo’s back pressing against it.

“Stop avoiding me,” he says with a stern voice as he leans down.

Kyungsoo looks unamused, eyes unfazed. “Is that a demand, President Kim?”

“Don’t call me that. Call me Jongin hyung, like how you used to.”

The actor let out a sigh with his hand gripping his other arm, trying to hold himself back from bursting.

“I don’t want to,” he stresses. “We broke up. Do I need to remind you again?”

“Am I not being obvious enough? I’m trying to win you over, Kyungsoo. I want you back.”

Jongin sees the distressed look on Kyungsoo’s face. He feels sorry for putting Kyungsoo in the spot, but he needs to know.

“But I’m not interested anymore. You were the one who left me. It’s been 5 years and I’ve moved on. You should too.”

It pisses him off at how easily Kyungsoo mutters those words because the past 5 years without Kyungsoo were nightmares to him. It pisses him off how Kyungsoo didn’t suffer as much as he did. It pisses him off even more that he knows that it was his fault.

“I tried but I couldn’t. I still love you.”

Jongin finally says it. He is taken back by the words that left his lips. He couldn't believe he actually said it.

The man finally admitted his feelings, the love he has been harbouring for Kyungsoo all these years.

Kyungsoo looks equally shocked, eyes widened, body tenses up with his mouth seal shut.

“Kyung-”

“Kyungsoo. Oh, President Kim! I didn’t know you went to the toilet too,” his manager speaks up.

Jongin moves a step away from the actor, leaving enough space between them that people wouldn't speculate anything.

They return to join the others at the table. Jongin sits next to Director Han, trying to engage with the conversation but his eyes would occasionally look at Kyungsoo.

The actor keeps on filling up his glass with soju, spilling some on the table. A glass, then another, and another until his cheeks turning a shade of red with his gaze floats about his surroundings.

Kyungsoo’s manager came to his side to aid the drunk man. He struggles to let Kyungsoo stand up properly as the actor fumbles a lot with a wide smile on his face.

Jongin doesn't waste a second and approaches the two of them.

“I’ll take him.”

“President Kim! It’s fine. I don’t want to bother you,” he says nervously.

Jongin shakes his head and slings Kyungsoo’s arm around his shoulder. “You need to be here to help wrap up everything. It’s not a bother really. Kyungsoo and I know each other. He’s just too shy to admit it.”

Kyungsoo’s manager reluctantly let go of Kyungsoo and completely leaned the actor’s body weight on Jongin. Jongin drags Kyungsoo out of the restaurant. Once they are out of sight, Jongin hoists Kyungsoo up to carry him in his arms. It wasn’t his plan to act like the hero in the romantic dramas, but Kyungsoo keeps stumbling around, making it hard for him to bring the drunk man to his car.

Kyungsoo’s eyes are closed, head leaning against Jongin’s chest. Jongin smiles at the view. His driver opens the back door for him. He puts Kyungsoo down in the back seat while he slides in from the other side.

They head to Jongin’s place. It wasn’t his plan either to take Kyungsoo to his place but Jongin realizes he doesn't know the passcode to Kyungsoo’s unit, and the younger man is passed out next to him.

Once they are inside the luxurious penthouse, he puts Kyungsoo down on the bed in his guest room. Kyungsoo suddenly grabs him by the neck and pulls him in for a kiss. Jongin’s eyes widened at the sudden contact. His heart is racing under his chest, feeling excited, happy and scared at the same time.

As much as he likes having Kyungsoo’s lips on him, he isn't someone who would take advantage of a drunk man.

Jongin slowly pushes the actor away, one hand cupping the small face with his thumb rubbing the soft skin tenderly.

“I don’t want to do this when you’re drunk,” he says.

“W-what? Why? Didn’t you say you want… hic… want me?” Kyungsoo slurs, trying his hardest to keep his eyes open.

“Of course, I want you. But not this way. When you’re sober, we’ll talk about it.”

Tears are pooling at the corner of Kyungsoo’s eyes which make Jongin panic when the tears rush down the fair cheeks.

“Y-you left me! Do you know how hurt I was?” Kyungsoo suddenly confesses, hand gripping Jongin’s front shirt.

“I couldn’t focus during practices, trying to figure out which part of me was lacking. A-and now… hic…now you suddenly barged into my life after I’ve finally got myself together, expecting me to accept you with open arms.”

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. “I hate it even more that it’s so...hic…so easy for me to fall for you again. Am I easy, Jongin? Do I look easy to you?”

Jongin quickly brings the trembling man into his arms and rubs his back comfortingly. “No, Soo. Of course, not. It’s my fault. You’re perfect. You’re more than enough. I was stupid for leaving you and I deserve the cold shoulder you’re giving me.”

The cries become louder. Jongin can feel the front of his shirt drenched with tears.

“But I’m not giving up. I don’t want to lose you again.”

Kyungsoo’s fist hits Jongin’s chest, not too hard, not too soft, but enough for Jongin to feel the sensation in his heart.

“Stupid. You could still have me if you were not an idiot.”

One of Jongin’s hands moves behind Kyungsoo’s head, patting the soft hairs to calm the other down. “Yes. I was an idiot. I’m the one to blame,” he admits.

They stay in that position for a couple of minutes, until Kyungsoo stops crying.

Kyungsoo pulls away to look up at Jongin. His eyes are red and puffy, hairs disheavelead. “Can you hold me, Jongin hyung?”

A soft smile appears on Jongin's face. They both lay down on the bed with Jongin’s arms holding Kyungsoo close to his chest.

“Yes. Always,” he whispers as he kisses Kyungsoo’s forehead.

It is the first time he heard Kyungsoo calling him hyung after so long. It makes him happy but also guilty. He doesn't know that Kyungsoo was feeling that way. It makes him feel mad, knowing that Kyungsoo blames himself for what he had done.

He wonders how deep the scar was he left on Kyungsoo. He came to understand why Kyungsoo kept resisting him. Who wouldn’t do the same?

Jongin promises himself that he would be a better man for Kyungsoo. He would treat the younger man right. And he is not planning to leave. Living without Kyungsoo was hellish for him, and he doesn’t think he can survive through that for the second time.

“I love you,” he says. The words left his lips so effortlessly. He truly loves Kyungsoo.

//

Jongin wakes up to an empty space next to him. He grabs his phone before he could wash up and dial Kyungsoo’s number.

He waits for the call to be connected impatiently, hoping that what happened yesterday was real.

“Hi,” Kyungsoo finally answers.

“Morning. Umm. I’m sorry I didn’t see you out. You could have just woken me up,” Jongin says as he rubs his eyes.

“I don’t want to wake you up. I’m sorry for the trouble I caused you last night.”

Jongin quickly shakes his head. “No! It’s no trouble at all.”

They fall into a prolonged silence.

“Kyungsoo-”.

“Jongin-”.

They speak up at the same time. “You go first,” the older man says nervously. His heart is pounding against his chest.

“About last night.. Umm. I remember what I said to you. I-I don’t know if I can. I mean take a chance on you again. I don’t want to get hurt.”

Jongin’s face relaxes. “I’ll wait for you. Take as much time as you need. You can say yes when you’re ready,” he assures the other.

“Ok,” Kyungsoo answers sweetly. “Thanks. I have to go now. My manager is calling me. I’ll talk to you again, Jongin hyung.”

“Sure. I’ll wait for your call.”

Jongin hangs up the call and falls back on his bed. He squeals in excitement, heart overflowing with joy and happiness. The way Kyungsoo calls him Jongin hyung is making him feel giddy and all warm insides. He can’t believe Kyungsoo has finally accepted him, although it wasn’t a clear yes yet, but at least it’s a huge progress.

He starts his day with a huge smile on his face, unnecessarily greeting his staff that he came across as he heads to his office. Everyone who looks towards his direction would have guessed that something good happened to him. Jongin is acting very obviously.

Jongin sits down on his chair and spins around, like a true lovestruck man.

He sends Sehun a message to update the man of the current progress of his Love Again project. Good news needs to be shared.

Jongin feels like he is in paradise. He has never wanted someone so much. He wants Kyungsoo. He loves Kyungsoo. He would make sure to do it right this time.

The door swings open from the outside, making Jongin stop on his track. His father walks into his office with his secretary and bodyguard standing by his sides.

Jongin stands up and fixes his blazer. “Father. This is unexpected.”

Mr Kim wears a grim expression on his face, the kind that Jongin has grown immune to. He used to find it very intimidating, but it doesn’t affect him anymore, even the slightest.

“I built this company. I can come anytime without your permission.”

Jongin isn’t surprised by his father’s comment. It was as expected of the great Kim.

“Of course,” Jongin says, unbothered to pick a fight with his father in the morning. His day started off on a good note and he prefers to keep it that way until the end of the day.

Mr Kim takes a seat on the sofa at the sitting area on the left area of the office. Jongin joins him, ordering his secretary to prepare a cup of tea for his father.

“What brings you here?” Jongin breaks the silence.

“I heard you’ve been fooling around again with that Do Kyungsoo.”

“How did you know about us?” Jongin asks, concerned about what this unexpected visit from his father would lead to. “And we are not fooling around. I follow him around.”

“Son, do you think I wouldn’t know about you and him? Back then and now you’re doing it again.”

Jongin is speechless. He doesn’t expect his father to know about the relationship he had with Kyungsoo. He had tried his hardest to keep it out of his father’s radar.

“Are you getting back with that kid? A man? Have I not made it clear enough that homosexuality is disgusting?”

He feels betrayed, knowing that his father purposely said those words 5 years ago to send him down the spiral of hesitation and insecurities.

“You’re the CEO of EXO. I expect you to behave appropriately. End whatever you have with that boy,” his father demands, unwaver as he takes a sip from the cup of warm tea.

Jongin is having an internal battle, wondering to what extent his father would go to dictate how he should live his life. He is not a kid anymore. He is a 34 years old adult who is capable of making his own decisions.

He has sworn to himself that he would not make the same mistake. Jongin doesn’t plan on leaving Kyungsoo again. His father doesn’t control his life anymore.

“No, father. I’ve stopped living my life trying to please you. I’m not your shadow anymore. I’m the CEO of this company. You can’t tell me what to do.”

Jongin grips his thighs, watching as his father’s expression changes. His old man doesn’t like to be challenged.

“I love him. I won’t blame you for being the reason that I left him when I was younger. I was a coward and selfish. But now, I’ve never been so sure. I’m going to be with Kyungsoo and that’s final.”

The man stands up. He feels so relieved that he can finally get it off his chest. Jongin feels as if he has reborned as a new man, a better one. He is freed from his father’s shackles and man-built prison.

Jongin leaves his father, ignoring the loud voice telling him to stop.

He can’t wait to see Kyungsoo again.

It feels so good to love openly.

//

Can I take you out for dinner?

How about tomorrow night? My place.

Jongin’s chokes on his drink when he reads Kyungsoo’s reply. He rubs his chest to soothe the pain. He is in his room, sitting leisurely on his bed as it is Friday night.

Jongin presses his lips together, mentally reminding himself not to read too much into Kyungsoo’s message. It is just dinner. Nothing more than that. But it is difficult, considering how he had been courting Kyungsoo tirelessly for the past months. The man might also be sex deprived.

Is it ok to have dinner at my place? I want to cook for you. I can’t afford to be seen with anyone right now :(

Kyungsoo sends another message. Jongin internally squeals at the emoji Kyungsoo is using. He can vividly imagine how cute Kyungsoo would look with his mouth pouting. He can’t wait for tomorrow night.

And he was definitely over his head. Kyungsoo didn’t invite him over for other reasons. It will be just dinner; he reminds himself again.

Saturday night comes and Jongin dresses to impress. He puts on a white low cut neck shirt with a black slim pants that hangs around his ankle. He styles his hair down, covering his forehead to go for the innocent and pure look. He wants to appear less intimidating and makes Kyungsoo feel comfortable to be around him.

Jongin stands in front of Kyungsoo’s unit with a bottle of wine in his hand. He presses the bell and waits for Kyungsoo nervously. It is finally happening. He is finally having dinner with Kyungsoo.

It takes a few seconds for Kyungsoo to answer the door. The actor is wearing a black loose pants and an adidas black shirt. His hair is wet with a white small towel around his neck.

“Jongin hyung, come in. Sorry, I just got out of the shower,” Kyungsoo offers a shy smile.

Jongin melts at the sight in front of him. Kyungsoo looks effortlessly beautiful. The man could literally wear anything and still be able to take his breath away.

Kyungsoo takes the bottle from Jongin and heads to the kitchen to finish up on his cooking.

Jongin enters the two-bedroom condominium, eyes looking around at the space. The interior design is definitely Kyungsoo’s choice. Black furniture, gray walls, potted plants and a huge black and white portrait picture of Kyungsoo hanging on the wall.

“Stop staring at that picture. It’s embarrassing,” Kyungsoo voices out, fingers slightly pulling the end of Jongin’s shirt while his eyes staring on the wooden floor.

Jongin’s lips tremble at the adorable gesture Kyungsoo is showcasing. He isn’t sure if he could make it out of there alive without having a heart attack. Kyungsoo is too much for his heart.

“I’m sorry,” the actor pulls away his hand quickly. “Force of habit,” he laughs awkwardly as he rubs the nape of his neck.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind. You can keep doing that as much as you want.” Both of them break into chuckles.

“It’s a beautiful picture,” Jongin adds as he shifts his focus back to the picture on the wall. He turns his head to look at Kyungsoo who is staring at a picture of himself with a proud smile on his face.

“Beautiful,” he breathes out, almost sounding like a whisper. He hopes Kyungsoo didn’t hear him.

They sit on the dining table after Kyungsoo gives the older man a house tour.

“I made Vongole. I don’t know if you remember it.”

Jongin stares at the food on the table and nods. “I do. I also remember it tasted very delicious.”

Kyungsoo blushes at the compliment.

They enjoy their dinner with a glass of wine, basking in each other’s comfort and company. It almost feels like a dream to Jongin. He can’t believe he is the reason that Kyungsoo is smiling and laughing.

But a part of Jongin noticed that Kyungsoo is still very cautious with what he said and shared. Jongin offers an assuring smile as he puts down the fork and spoon. “Kyungsoo, I want you to feel comfortable around me. I want you to lean on me. I want to be the first person you call when you need someone. I know I may be pressuring you, but I need to at least know if you’re willing to try.”

Kyungsoo follows by putting down the cutleries, wiping the corner of his mouth with the napkin. He takes a deep breath and lets it out, trying to find the courage in him to answer Jongin’s question. “Ok. I’ll try.”

The smile on Jongin’s face spread from ear to ear. “Great. I’m happy to hear that,” he says, scratching his forehead that’s not itchy at all to distract himself from the growing happiness inside of him. He is scared that his desperation will appear unappealing to Kyungsoo, said the man who has been consistently self-inserting himself in Kyungsoo’s life again.

They spend the rest of the night talking to each other, sharing everything that they have missed out for the last 5 years.

Everything about that night is perfect.

Jongin can’t wait to hear Kyungsoo say yes.

His plan to win Kyungsoo’s heart hasn't ended yet.

//

They went out for a couple of more dates, what Jongin calls it. Kyungsoo never explicitly says it is a date but Jongin likes to think that it is. He likes every second he gets to spend with Kyungsoo. He would look forward to meeting him.

Jongin doesn’t know if it’s only his imagination, but he notices that Kyungsoo is becoming more adorable as time passes. Kyungsoo uses a lot of emojis and cute terms in most of his messages. The actor would also talk sweetly, dragging the last word in his sentence a little too long that does this weird thing to Jongin’s heart.

It is a privilege to be the only one who gets to witness the duality of Do Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is such a gentleman when he is an actor, maintaining a masculine image that attracts a lot of female fans. But it is hard not to call Kyungsoo cute when the man himself is living proof that a person can be cute without actually lifting a finger.

The Do Kyungsoo that Jongin gets to witness is an actual cute one, can be a little stubborn and fun to tease with too. Jongin wonders if the young man knows how adorable he is. Would Kyungsoo look at the mirror and ask his reflection, am I cute? Imagining it happening in his head is making Jongin grins widely, clutching his heart at the overflowing cuteness. He is willing to pay millions if he gets to watch that scene with his two eyes.

Jongin doesn’t stop with his advances too. He would send flowers to Kyungsoo with a handwritten message on the cards.

Have a good day, beautiful.

Don’t forget to smile today! It’s a shame to hide those heart-shaped lips.

I hope the day is treating you well, like how I would treat you ;)

Dinner at my place tonight?

Jongin would occasionally pick Kyungsoo up from his condominium and drive him to the man’s first schedule. He never forgets to get breakfast for Kyungsoo too - warm toasted sandwich and iced latte. Kyungsoo would eat inside his car throughout the journey with Jongin teasingly asking Kyungsoo to feed him. He did refuse initially but Kyungsoo eventually gave in to Jongin’s pouty mouth.

There was once when Jongin left in the middle of a meeting after he received a text message from Kyungsoo.

Hyung, I got into a mini accident while filming. I don’t think we can have lunch together today :(

Jongin rushed to the filming site, fingers gripping the steering wheel anxiously.

He has never been so worried about someone that way. Jongin sighs in relief when he sees Kyungsoo sitting on a chair, still breathing and smiling at him. There is a band-aid on the actor’s forehead.

“What happened?” Jongin asks as he kneels down in front of Kyungsoo, reaching over to caress the skin under the band-aid.

Kyungsoo’s ears turn a shade of red. “One of the ropes they used to hang the-” he pauses as he tries to think of a word to describe the item. “-thingy snapped, and it grazed my forehead a little. It doesn’t hurt at all.”

Jongin nods and cups the actor’s face with both of his hands. “I’m glad to hear that you’re ok. But please be extra careful. I don’t want to see you getting hurt.”

“Ok, Jongin hyung.”

It is the first time Jongin hugs Kyungsoo in front of other people - Kyungsoo’s manager and stylish. He isn’t all there either as he was distraught, thinking of all the worst-case scenarios when he was driving to see Kyungsoo.

Jongin quickly pulls away when he realizes his action, muttering a soft, “sorry.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head and wraps his arms around Jongin’s shoulder. “It’s ok. This is actually nice.”

Another attack on Jongin’s heart. Surely, he would have died if it wasn't for Kyungsoo’s smile and laughs that brings him back to life.

They are having dinner at Jongin’s place that night. It’s Kyungsoo’s third visit. They mostly spend their time together at Kyungsoo’s place because Kyungsoo doesn’t want to risk it being spotted by the reporters.

There were times they would go for a late-night drive, usually on days when Kyungsoo didn’t have an early schedule the next day. Jongin would park his car in front of the river with the view of the bridge and city. It was nice and comforting.

Kyungsoo sits down on the sofa with a can of beer in his hand, the other hand turning on the speaker using the remote control. He connects his phone to the speaker and plays Die For You.

Jongin joins him, scooting closer to Kyungsoo with his arm resting on the sofa behind Kyungsoo.

“You listen to The Weeknd?” Jongin asks as he puts his beer on the table.

“Not really. I just like this song. The beats are nice.”

I'm scared that I'll miss you.

Happens every time.

Jongin reaches over to push a strand of Kyungsoo’s hair that slightly covers those beautiful eyes, fingers intentionally touching the soft skin.

I don't want this feelin'.

I can't afford love.

Kyungsoo looks up to meet Jongin’s eyes, a tingling sensation in his hands.

I try to find a reason to pull us apart.

It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect.

They hold on to their gazes, trapped in the moment that seems too addictive to leave. There is something in the air that makes the night feel so special.

And I know that you're worth it.

I can't walk away, oh!

Jongin leans in to press his lips against the other. It was a rush, but he pulls back a little to see Kyungsoo’s reaction. Jongin takes the can in Kyungsoo’s hand and puts it on the table. He moves closer, one hand resting on the back of Kyungsoo’s head.

Even though we're going through it.

And it makes you feel alone.

They lean in for another kiss, lips pressing together with Kyungsoo’s hand gripping Jongin’s front shirt. Their kiss is slow but passionate. Both are still testing the water, cautiously, scared that they would be pushing it too far or fast.

The softness and sweetness of Kyungsoo’s lips reminds him of the rainbow, a dash of colours to brighten up his world and sends him a couple of feet up in the air, levitating in euphoria.

Just know that I would die for you.

Baby I would die for you, yeah.

Jongin tilts his head to deepen the kiss, body hovering over Kyungsoo, making the smaller man lay on the sofa under him. He licks Kyungsoo’s lips with his tongue, asking for permission which he receives. Jongin’s other hand travels downwards to rub the slender waist soothingly.

The distance and the time between us.

It'll never change my mind, 'cause baby.

Their kiss turns hot quickly, tongues swirling inside the warm caverns. Jongin manhandles Kyungsoo so the man’s thighs are spread open, caging him. Jongin pushes his front against the other, making Kyungsoo moans into the kiss.

I would die for you.

Baby I would die for you, yeah.

Kyungsoo pulls away to take a deep breath, eyes not leaving Jongin. His lips are glistening with saliva, hairs disheveled with both of his hands still holding on Jongin’s shirt.

The view under Jongin is sinful and arousing. Jongin can feel his blood pumping towards his groin that drives him to the edge of the cliff.

“Can we not rush it, hyung?” Kyungsoo asks, chest rising and falling.

Jongin smiles at the other, leaning in to kiss the lips briefly. He has been patient for months. Waiting for another few months wouldn’t hurt.

“Yes. Anything for you, baby.”

//

They would kiss a lot whenever they did see each other. Jongin can’t hold himself back from kissing Kyungsoo, finding himself leaning in and when Kyungsoo doesn’t push him away, he takes it as a sign to continue.

It becomes harder for Jongin when their kisses turn hot and wet quickly with their hands grabbing each other. It drives Jongin insane when Kyungsoo moans, hands running down his abdomen, feeling every nook and cranny of the muscles, firm and hard body.

He always had to pull back when their kiss became too dangerous, trying to hide his raging boner. Jongin is scared that he would mess it up. Their relationship is going at a steady pace, although Kyungsoo hasn’t said yes yet. He doesn’t want to lose Kyungsoo again and blames it on his incapability to control his libido.

The only way for him to find release is to please himself while imagining all sorts of dirty things he would want to do to Kyungsoo. Jongin sits on the bed with his back leaning against the bedhead, legs spread, one hand wraps around his throbbing cock.

He likes to have Kyungsoo under him, so he can have a clear view of that beautiful face and sexy expressions when he buries himself deep inside of Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo was always loud, begging him to give it to him harder. It’s not like he hasn’t seen the actor naked before. They had passionate sex all the time when they were dating.

When Jongin did cum on his stomach while moaning Kyungsoo’s name, he felt slightly guilty for thinking about Kyungsoo that way. But Jongin is a 34-year-old sex deprived man who hadn’t had sex for 5 years. One may think that it is impossible for an adult man to not engage in sexual intercourse for that long, but Jongin isn’t sexually attracted to anyone when the only person he has been constantly thinking of is Kyungsoo. The one person he could only see but not touch.

Of course, that has changed, which explains his increase sex drive. So, he tries his very best to hide it.

Kyungsoo doesn’t make it easier for him either. The young man is bold with his advances and actions. He doesn’t hold back on his compliments too.

“Hyung, you look really good with that shirt on,” Kyungsoo says as his eyes stare at Jongin, index finger touching his own lips.

The slightly see-through shirt exposed Jongin’s collarbone and highlighted the man’s broad shoulder. The muscle strain against the fabric at the biceps.

“Hyung, have I ever told you that you look hot?”

Jongin chokes on his drink, clearing his throat next when Kyungsoo teasingly touches his exposed wet and toned stomach. The older man just got out of the swimming pool, shirtless with only swim pants on.

He doesn’t know if Kyungsoo is giving him the green light to cross the already thin line. The actor is pulling his strings and giving him mixed signals. Jongin needs Kyungsoo to give him the verbal consent.

But Jongin is patient, very patient. That is what he tells himself every day.

Not until he blurts out an unexpected question when they are inside the car on their way to Kyungsoo’s home. Jongin just picked Kyungsoo up from his last schedule of the day.

“Do you love me?”

Jongin wants to drown himself in the Pacific Ocean for pressuring Kyungsoo, mentally slapping his mouth for asking that question. He did promise the actor that he would wait for him to say yes. It is just that his patience is running out. He has been spending his nights thinking and speculating a lot of possible scenarios, wondering when Kyungsoo will accept him again.

Both of them kiss, go out for dates, share a lot of the deep stuff and all the other things that a couple would do together. Jongin thought that it is not entirely unfair to Kyungsoo for him to ask that question.

“I…”

Jongin forces a smile. “It’s ok. I told you we can take it slow.”

Kyungsoo looks at him, fingers fidgeting on his lap. “Hyung, I’m so-.”

“Don’t be,” Jongin says as he stops at the red light. He holds both of Kyungsoo’s hands, giving it an assuring squeeze. “I’ll wait.” He leans in and kisses the younger man’s cheeks softly.

Once he drops Kyungsoo off at his residential complex, he lets out a long sigh. President Kim Jongin has never had to work this hard for love.

//

It is finally the first day of Love Again movie promotions. Kyungsoo is making a physical appearance at the press conference along with the director, screenwriter, the lead actress and co-actors. Jongin is the second happiest man, after Kyungsoo, when he finds out that the movie will be released in a week. It is the first movie Kyungsoo had worked as the lead actor.

He hasn’t heard from Kyungsoo for a couple of days after that night, assuming the actor is busy. But he decides to call Kyungsoo to congratulate him.

“You’ll do amazing,” he assures Kyungsoo through the phone call when Kyungsoo says he’s nervous.

Jongin sits down on his chair after he ends the call and switches on his iPad. He clicks the link his secretary sent to him to watch the live press conference.

“Hello, EXO Showbiz Korea viewers. We have the crew members of Love Again here with us. Please introduce yourself,” the press conference host says as the camera moves out to film all the crew members, fitting them in one screen.

“I’m the director of Love Again, Han Myungsoo.”

“I’m the screenwriter, Seo Hana.”

“I’m playing as Love Again’s Lee Seungho, actor Do Kyungsoo.”

Jongin claps his hands, smiling at Kyungsoo’s appearance on the screen.

The introduction continues and Jongin’s focus keeps shifting from the screen to the paperworks on his work desk. He will look at the screen when Kyungsoo is speaking.

“Kyungsoo, how do you feel about appearing as the lead actor for the first time?” The host directs the question to Kyungsoo.

Jongin looks at the screen of his iPad, giving undivided attention to Kyungsoo.

“First of all, I feel happy, really happy about my debut as the lead actor on the big screen,” Kyungsoo answers, a huge smile on his face as his eyes wander around, fingers fidgeting on the button of his blazer.

“When I first received the script, I had trouble carrying the character. I’ve never experienced trying to win over my past lover before. I discussed a lot with the director. I’m so thankful to him for helping me throughout the filming. Thank you,” he continues.

“So, you’ve never fallen in love before?” the host asks another question.

Jongin raises his eyebrows at the directness of the question. It is expected from the ‘showbiz’.

“Of course, I have,” Kyungsoo chuckles nervously. “I’m not young anymore,” he says, making the host and the crew members laugh too.

“I’ve never courted my ex. But I’ve seen someone I know doing it. It’s interesting to see how desperate a person could become for love. That’s how it is for Lee Seungho. I hope everyone will enjoy the movie,” he ends it there.

Jongin rolls his eyes, knowing very well that that someone Kyungsoo is referring to is probably him.

“Imagine if you’re Im Sora. Would you accept Lee Seungho again?”

Kyungsoo smiles, taking a moment before he holds the microphone close to his lips. “Lee Seungho shows his efforts through actions. He never gives up and he tries his best to be a better man for Sora.”

The actor pauses, eyes staring at the cameras flashing in front of him. “Yes. I will.”

Jongin can’t help but to take Kyungsoo’s answer personally. It feels like Kyungsoo is directing his answer to him. Jongin’s heart is feeling all sorts of emotions that he can’t really pinpoint. A part of him is happy, while another part of him is telling him not to get over his head again. It probably means nothing unlike how he had hoped for.

Jongin shakes off those thoughts and continues doing his work while watching the live conference.

The press conference ends 15 minutes later. Jongin closes his iPad and grabs his phone. He messages his secretary to book two tickets for the Love Again movie, emphasizing to get the last showtimes tickets. Jongin doesn’t want to attract any crowds around Kyungsoo when they go for a movie date.

Once he sends the text message, a notification pops up at the top of his phone screen. It’s a message from Kyungsoo.

‘Jongin hyung, where are you? I want to see you.’

Jongin types a quick reply.

‘I’m at the office.’

‘I’ll be there soon.’

Kyungsoo replies come in so quickly that Jongin doesn’t have to put down his phone. He informs his secretary to let the security bring Do Kyungsoo up to his office when the man comes by.

It doesn’t take long before he hears a knock on the door. Jongin stands up in anticipation as he calls the person in. Kyungsoo walks into the office, throwing his whole weight on Jongin as he wraps his hand around the man’s neck in a tight hug.

It sends Jongin a step backwards but he manages to regain his balance. Kyungsoo is light and small compared to him.

“This is pleasant,” Jongin smiles, reciprocating the affection.

The actor pulls away, fingers interlocked behind Jongin’s neck. “Yes. Yes. Yes. I love you too!”

Jongin’s mouth drops open, shocked at the sudden confession coming from Kyungsoo. “Is this real? Are you sure?”

Kyungsoo nods repeatedly, unable to hide his smile. “Yes. 100%. I love you, Jongin hyung,” he says.

Jongin screams in happiness as he lifts Kyungsoo up and spins him around in joy. The day he has been waiting for is finally here. Kyungsoo finally said yes.

And it makes his day even better when Kyungsoo said I love you back.

Jongin feels like the happiest and luckiest man in the world.

“I saw your press conference. Did you make a public confession?”

Kyungsoo giggles. “Maybe. Say it!”

Jongin frowns. “Hah?”

“Jongin hyung!” the actor whines, fingers curl into a fist to hit the other’s firm chest.

The CEO of EXO feigns innocence, but he eventually gives in. He cups Kyungsoo’s face and kisses the man on the lips. “I love you too, so much. Would you be my boyfriend, Kyungsoo?”

Kyungsoo nods again, brimming with excitement. “Yes,” he says confidently.

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to say yes, hyung,” Kyungsoo adds.

Jongin shakes his head and kisses the actor on the lips again. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. It’s worth the wait.”

Love again project - a success.

//

It is a real bummer that after Kyungsoo confessed, they couldn’t see each other for over a week. Kyungsoo’s schedules are packed with movie promotion. He had interviews, another press conference, movie premiere to attend and fan meeting events.

Jongin had to cancel their movie date night too, which Kyungsoo apologized a couple of times. Jongin told him that it was unavoidable, and they can always reschedule.

‘I want to see you so much.’

‘It’s just one more day.’

‘Make that 4 days :( I’m flying to Japan tomorrow. We’re starting the promotion.’

‘That soon? I thought the Japanese promotion starts next month.’

‘They bring forward the release date in Japan’s theater. Promotions have to start sooner.’

Jongin pouts. He was looking forward to seeing Kyungsoo tomorrow.

‘I imagined we will have hot sex after I confess. But the timing isn’t right.’

Jongin almost dropped his phone when he read Kyungsoo’s new text message. The man clears his throat, slapping his cheek to pull himself together. It is so easy to rile him up.

‘Kyungsoo, the words you said would be the death of you.’

‘You can do anything to me, hyung. I don’t mind. Can you wait for me?’

Jongin takes a deep breath before letting it out, calming his heart along the way. He can feel the area under his stomach tighten, a clear indication that he will have a serious case of hard-on in a matter of minutes.

‘I’ve waited years for you. I can wait another 4 days. Don’t worry about me. Make sure you return safely into my arms, baby.’

//

Jongin has been counting down the days he will be able to hold Kyungsoo in his arms again. One more day to go, he tells himself as he enters his penthouse. Physically and mentally drained, but mainly because of the lack of Kyungsoo in his life. He is missing his boyfriend too much. Boyfriend? Jongin giggles at that thought, a common reaction from a lovestruck man.

“Jongin hyung,” a familiar voice speaks up.

The tanned man puts away his shoes and looks up to find the man he had been missing dearly is standing a few steps away from him.

Kyungsoo is wearing a white button up shirt, which Jongin assumes is his, that falls just above his knees and pantless. Jongin doesn’t waste a second and drops everything in his hand on the nearest table or chair, he isn’t sure either, and runs towards Kyungsoo.

Jongin pulls Kyungsoo into a tight hug, earning a chuckle from his boyfriend.

“I thought you’re coming back tomorrow?”

Kyungsoo kisses the man’s nose and smiles. “Surprise,” he says.

Jongin leans down to press his lips on Kyungsoo’s. Their kiss is needy and impatient, hands grabbing each other’s body to keep them grounded. Jongin removes his blazer and loosens his tie with one hand while the other hand holds Kyungsoo on his waist. He throws the tie on the floor, both hands find its way around Kyungsoo, hoisting the smaller up.

Kyungsoo automatically wraps his legs around Jongin’s waist, clinging on to the older man as he hopes he won’t meet the ground. His fingers are slightly pulling on Jongin’s hairs, body heating up at the fact that they both know how the night will end.

They make it to Jongin’s room, laying on the bed with Jongin hovering over Kyungsoo. Jongin’s lips move to the exposed skin on the area where the neck meets the shoulder. His fingers fumbling to unbutton his shirt, pulling away from the kiss when it isn’t cooperating with him.

Kyungsoo pushes Jongin to lay down next to him as he climbs on top of the older man, thick thighs on either side of the man. He helps Jongin undress himself.

Jongin lets Kyungsoo take control, taking it as an opportunity to watch the beautiful man on top of him. He reaches over to caress the soft cheeks.

“I miss you,” he says.

Kyungsoo leans into the touch, humming at the attention Jongin is giving him. “I miss you too.”

They stare into each other’ eyes, hundreds of unspoken words expressed through their body languages. Jongin had never imagined he could have Kyungsoo this way again, to be able to touch, to hold.

“I love you,” Jongin confesses his love for the nth times, pushing his body upwards to a sitting position with Kyungsoo a breath away.

“I love you too, Jongin hyung,” Kyungsoo says, hands spread open the button up shirt, pushing it off Jongin’s broad shoulder sensually.

Kyungsoo leans in, breathing heavily. “I want to feel you inside me,” he whispers.

Jongin lets out a shaky breath, clearing his throat as he tries to keep his cool. His lover can be too much for him to handle, that it pushes him to the edge, only to be dragged back into reality, reminding him that Kyungsoo is all his.

He spins them around, letting Kyungsoo’s body drop back on the soft bed with a low thud.

“I’m not letting you sleep tonight.” Jongin’s voice is deep, eyes hooded with lust. He removes his shirt, exposing his glorious body that Kyungsoo can’t keep his hands off.

“I’m all yours. Take me.”

“Fuck.” Their lips brushes again, tongues meet in the hot cavern with their hands travelling south.

Jongin rubs the clothed erection, enjoying the moans that escape through Kyungsoo’s mouth. He strips Kyungsoo off impatiently, lips sucking bruises on the exposed skin. He takes his time to plant kisses on Kyungsoo’s body, like a white canvas that is waiting to be painted.

Jongin opens the top drawer of his bedside table and takes out a bottle of lube along with packets of condoms.

He bends Kyungsoo's knees, licking the skin to get a reaction out of the younger man.

Jongin lathers his fingers with the clear liquid. He rubs the ring of muscle before pushing a finger in. Kyungsoo moans with his eyes shut.

The sight unraveling under him is arousing, feeling the pain of his strain cock inside the confined of his pants. He groans when Kyungsoo clenches around his finger. It is only a finger but Kyungsoo is already so tight. Jongin could imagine the pleasure that would clench his cock once he buried himself deep inside the younger man. He feels like he could come just from thinking about it.

But he has to be patient.

A finger becomes two, then three. Jongin starts to scissor his fingers, watching closely at Kyungsoo’s expression to pick up any discomfort. He wraps his hand around the throbbing cock, thumb flicking the pulsating head.

Kyungsoo pushes his hand away. “N-no. I might cum if you touch me there.” His breathing is heavy, chest rising and failing at a faster pace.

“I w-want to cum when you’re inside of me.”

Jongin loses it, at how much simple words could bring out the devil inside of him. Everything about Kyungsoo is so deliciously sinful, especially when he is all willing and pliant for him. Jongin is running out of patience, despite the fact he just told himself to be patient a few minutes ago. He is scared for Kyungsoo’s dear life that he might not be able to hold himself back anymore.

It doesn’t take long before Jongin rolls the condom down his length, stroking it to its full hardest. He groans at how heavy and hot it is in his hand. Jongin takes pride in his size. It is slightly above average, and it fuels his man ego when he pairs it with his godly body.

Jongin leans down to whisper sweet nothings next to Kyungsoo’s ears as he grabs a pillow to put it under Kyungsoo’s ass. He guides the tip of his cock to the stretched opening. He gives a few teasing rubs around the rim, which earn him a whiny moan.

He finally pushes it through the entrance, groaning at the heat that suddenly wraps around his pulsating length. Kyungsoo is so tight. And it feels amazing. Reality is definitely better than jerking himself off to the mental images he had of Kyungsoo.

Jongin halts his movement, letting Kyungsoo get used to having a cock up his ass. He tries to distract his boyfriend with kisses and lightly sucking on the perky nipples. His other thumb rubs and pinches the other one, making Kyungsoo mutter incoherent words.

Jongin moves his hips, pushing more of his cock into Kyungsoo.

The younger man’s fingers grip his shoulders, face scrunches while biting his bottom lips.

“Are you ok, baby?” Jongin asks, reaching over to tilt Kyungsoo’s chin upwards.

Kyungsoo opens his eyes and nods. “I-I don’t remember you’re this big,” he breathes out.

“I-It’s been so long. I fingered myself earlier b-but..fuck..I feel so full, hyung.”

Jongin nuzzles into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck, trying his hardest not to push his cock all the way to the hilt because shit, he doesn’t know where to begin. The possibility that Kyungsoo hadn’t had sex with anyone but him or the fact that Kyungsoo has a filthy mouth.

Jongin doesn’t know which one he found more arousing. It is like a mixture of everything including his pent-up sexual frustration that makes him so bothered and hot.

“Give it to me, hyung. I’m ready,” Kyungsoo’s voice snaps Jongin out of his trance.

The older man complies, slowly moving his hips forward as he thrust into Kyungsoo deeper until he presses against Kyungsoo’s ass.

Jongin lets out a throaty moan, both hands gripping Kyungsoo’s waist, acting as an anchor to keep himself from rolling his hips. The tight heat it welcomes, envelopes his throbbing length is making him lose his sanity, mind turns hazy at the increasing lust that clouding his judgment.

It is worth it, he thought. To save it for Kyungsoo. If he could turn back time, Jongin would still have done the same, not the fact that he broke up with Kyungsoo but the fact that he would only make love to Kyungsoo.

Jongin starts rolling his hips in a slow pace after Kyungsoo grabs his hand with a nod. He maintains the rhythm, chest contracted as he takes a deep breath.

Once Kyungsoo starts to relax around him, Jongin picks up his pace, snapping his hips as it hits Kyungsoo’s ass which produces a loud sound. Kyungsoo arches his back beautifully, moans ripping from his throat.

The part where they are connected is sending both of them down the spirals of euphoria. They have waited for a long time to make love to each other again.

Jongin gives it to Kyungsoo hard, making the body jolted upwards with every snap of his hips. Kyungsoo grips the sheets under him, mouth repeatedly chanting Jongin’s name.

Kyungsoo tightens around him when one hard thrust hit that bundle of nerves. Jongin continues abusing that spot, watching how the body under him flushes in pink and covers in sweats.

A few more thrusts later, Kyungsoo comes untouched, white and sticky substances covering his stomach as his whole body trembles.

“Just a little bit more, baby,” Jongin assures his lover as he rolls his hips erratically into Kyungsoo to chase his own release. He groans with every thrust. He could feel the area below his stomach tightened. Jongin pulls out and quickly removes his condom, throwing it next to him. He strokes his pulsating cock fast on top of Kyungsoo’s spent body, moaning at the pleasures.

Jongin comes on Kyungsoo’s stomach, mixing with the latter’s cum, followed by a loud groan.

“Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo. Fuck,” he moans, hand slowing down as he desperately trying to catch his breath.

Jongin flops next to Kyungsoo, wiping his hand-covered cum on his stomach.

They lay down next to each other, both trying to gasp for air to calm their racing hearts.

“That was amazing,” Kyungsoo states.

Jongin can’t help it but to chuckle at the younger’s honest feedback. It was indeed amazing, he thought.

“You were amazing,” Jongin says, turning to his side to brush his lips against the other languidly. He moves away from the bed to grab a fresh towel. Jongin returns and wipes Kyungsoo’s body clean.

Jongin feels a little embarrassed at the sight of their cum splatters on Kyungsoo’s stomach. The thought that he just cum on his lover’s body is messing up with his brain.

“You were sexy,” Kyungsoo suddenly says.

Jongin throws the towel to the floor once he wipes both of them clean and joins Kyungsoo to lay on the bed. He brings Kyungsoo into his arms, holding him close to his chest.

“Hmm, you were sexy too,” Jongin answers with his eyes closed, growing sleepy.

Kyungsoo leans in and kisses the older man’s chin.

“But next time, I want to feel your cum inside me.”

Jongin's eyes are wide open. “W-what?” he stutters.

Kyungsoo nuzzles into his chest, making himself comfortable. “I love you, hyung.”

Jongin hasn’t processed the words that leave Kyungsoo’s lips earlier.

“I love you too, baby.”

He waits for Kyungsoo to say something.

“Kyungsoo?”

Jongin pulls away to look at his boyfriend’s face. “Kyungsoo?” he calls again.

Kyungsoo had his eyes closed.

“You can’t sleep now. You need to explain what you just said earlier.”

Jongin lightly shakes the smaller body. “Kyungs-”

Snores.

Jongin’s mouth hangs open, body frozen as he tries to organize his thoughts. He chuckles while shaking his head at how absurd the situation is.

“Goodnight, baby. I love you too,” he says, kissing Kyungsoo’s head with much love.

Love Again project, signing out.

//

Prologue

"Hyung, what if we broke up?" Kyungsoo asked, back leaning against Jongin’s chest while flipping through the scripts in his hand. He was sitting in between his older boyfriend’s legs on the L-shaped sofa.

The older man stopped reading his book, head turning to stare at Kyungsoo’s back.

“What? Are you planning to break up with me?" Jongin answered with a question. He put down his book once he slipped the bookmark in between the pages he had stopped reading.

Kyungsoo shook his head as he turned his body a bit to face Jongin. "No! I suddenly thought of it. I’m reading a script about how a couple who has been in love for 5 years fell out of love."

Jongin leaned forward with one hand wrapped around his lover’s waist. Their eyes met briefly before Kyungsoo looked to the front, hugging his knees. He felt guilty for bringing up the topic. It was definitely unnecessary.

Jongin rested his chin on top of Kyungsoo’s shoulder, cheeks pressing against the other.

"I doubt we will ever fall out of love. But if we do break up,” Jongin paused, manhandled Kyungsoo until the smaller one sat on his lap facing him.

“You better be prepared to say yes when I ask you to be my boyfriend again,” he continued as he rubbed Kyungsoo’s waist comfortingly.

A smile appeared on Kyungsoo’s face. "Ok."

"Promise?"

Kyungsoo nodded. "Promise."