Chapter Text
Akutagawa Ryūnosuke was, in his own words, unimportant. Just another citizen, fuelling the economy by going to college so he could work. An unimportant, 19-year-old, college student, with a small circle of friends, having no idea what the world had in store for him.
Not yet, at least.
Just like every morning, Akutagawa woke up at 5am to three cats begging for food as if they hadn't been fed for days. After feeding his cats, the four birds in his bird cage and his rats, he went to his bathroom to get himself ready for the day.
In all his life, Akutagawa had heard that he was emotionless, and that people had a hard time seeing him care for anything. He didn't understand why people thought that. He loved animals. The cats he had were strays, and he took them home out of the goodness of his heart. The rats were ones that never got picked, so he picked them. And the birds were from eggs he found abandoned in a bush.
So, he was capable of love. It was just that animals were a lot easier to love than humans. He could never see himself love humans, but he liked a few.
He liked Atsushi, his best friend who stayed by his side practically all his life, protecting him from the bullies even though he would cry from a mean look.
He liked Chuuya, who is his best friend as well but more so because Chuuya took it upon himself to adopt Akutagawa (as a joke, but now Chuuya gives him money monthly to get by).
He liked— actually, like is a big word. He tolerated Dazai. Only because he's Chuuya's boyfriend and Chuuya would be upset if he hated Dazai.
And those were the people he allowed into his life. Three was more than enough, and he only ever communicated with two. And that already exhausted him.
Akutagawa stared at himself in the mirror, putting in the final piercing in his eyebrow.
Some may say he was a delinquent from how many piercings he had. But with his weak physique and his bad lungs, he didn’t even stand a chance against a toddler. He simply liked piercings. He had three in each ear (all placed himself), one in his eyebrow, a tongue piercing and snakebites. He had gotten those long ago.
He skipped breakfast, praying Atsushi accidentally-on-purpose bought another muffin for him to eat, slamming the door shut behind him after telling each one of his pets goodbyes.
"Ryū-chan!" Atsushi waved from across the street, lifting an untouched muffin in the air.
God bless Nakajima Atsushi.
"So loud so early in the morning." Akutagawa grumbled, taking the muffin, and taking a small bite.
Atsushi shrugged, a smile on his face. "Of course. We're finally going back to college after this one-week break. We haven't had contact all week, where did you go?"
"Bed."
"Is that all?" Atsushi frowned.
"Yes. What did you do?" Akutagawa shifted the attention to Atsushi again. He never did anything interesting, so there was no use lingering at what he did. Atsushi always had a story to tell.
Unlike Akutagawa, Atsushi was rich. He had loving parents, a little sister, and a big house. Although his parents did hover, so Atsushi didn't live in the dorms. But Atsushi and his family always went on holidays.
Akutagawa, on the other hand, had himself. He lived with his parents until he finished high school, and then he moved into his own apartment. It wasn't that his parents were bad, he just never felt attached. And his parents didn't love him as much as they should.
Maybe because he was expensive. His lungs weren't the best, and as a kid he would often spend days in the hospital.
He saved his parents money by graduating high school with such high grades that he got a scholarship. The money they would use for college they instead used to buy Akutagawa a small apartment, with a little savings to start.
Now Akutagawa lived off of Chuuya's money. And most of that went to the pets he had.
"We went to grandma again and slept there. I didn't really join any of the activities because I was studying," Atsushi whined. "But I did take a lot of pictures of the scenery," He took the camera out of his bag, proudly showing Akutagawa all his photos.
"You should become a professional photographer already." Akutagawa commented, putting the paper of the muffin in his pocket to throw away later.
"No way! It's just a hobby, it's not like I'm actually good enough. Besides, I like photographing people." Atsushi lifted his camera to his face, to try and snap a picture of Akutagawa.
"Don't. I'll break your camera." Akutagawa threatened.
"Spoil sport! So rude! It's expensive!"
Akutagawa shrugged, ignoring Atsushi’s outdated speech (which he always had after visiting his grandma for a few days). It was widely known that Akutagawa didn't like pictures. He was rarely in group pictures and if he was, he would always hide his face behind something.
(That would change drastically in the future).
When they arrived at campus, Akutagawa finally finished his muffin. It was incredibly crowded, as usual, but he'd notice his other friend and the parasite attached to him no matter how crowded.
A short redhead accompanied by a literal giant compared to other Asians was not hard to miss.
Nakahara Chuuya and Dazai Osamu were a year above them. Chuuya studied hard, Dazai did not. Still Dazai tended to get higher grades. Both were literature students; a route Akutagawa would've chosen too if he didn't enjoy history so much.
"Hi~, Atsushi-kun and Akutagawa-kun~." Dazai waved at them, an arm securely around Chuuya.
"Hello, Chuuya-san." Akutagawa glared at Dazai with a soft huff.
"Oi, don't be rude. Look at you, you’ve gotten skinny," Chuuya 'tsk'ed softly, slapping Akutagawa's arm. "How was your holiday?" He asked as he dragged Akutagawa inside.
Akutagawa shrugged, following Atsushi with his eyes as the white-haired boy walked off. Atsushi had way more friends compared to him. But there was one girl who always stood out to him.
"Who are you looking at?" Chuuya asked, desperately trying to find the person Akutagawa was staring at.
"Absolutely no one. Let's go inside." Now it was Akutagawa's turn to drag Chuuya inside.
He didn't know the girl's name. But she was pretty. The clothes she wore were always cute, and a little odd, but Akutagawa appreciated the style. What he appreciated more was that it seemed personalised, as if she made it herself.
If he had the courage and social skill to ask, he would. Though, maybe he didn't have to take the first step. Maybe he could ask Atsushi.
Or wait for it to happen naturally.
Waiting was painful and boring.
After two weeks of college, Akutagawa had managed to gather information about said girl without making it look suspicious. Straight up asking would be weird, and he'd get questions.
"Do you like her??"
Or
"Do you finally have a crush??!"
People came up with the weirdest things very quickly.
But it was neither, Akutagawa told himself. He didn't know how to pinpoint how he felt, but 'interested' came close.
Her name was Lucy. Atsushi talked about her a lot, along with other names. All were boys' names, except Lucy.
Akutagawa found it fit her. Lucy with the red hair and green eyes and pretty clothes.
"I'd like to commission her one day." Akutagawa whispered; study books long forgotten.
Atsushi looked up with a frown. "Commission? Who?" He followed Akutagawa's eyes, tapping his pencil against his own books. "Lucy-chan, you mean?? For what?"
Akutagawa shrugged. "Yeah. Commission her to design me some clothes. Her clothes are always… Nice." He chose his words carefully.
Akutagawa was interested, but he didn't think much of it other than that. He pushed away the tingly feeling whenever it seemed that they locked eyes, looking at his books. It was interest and fascination he had for her, nothing else.
And those things faded quickly for Akutagawa Ryūnosuke.
At least, they usually did.
"I can ask her to come over!" Atsushi's eyes sparkled. Akutagawa had never taken such an interest in someone before.
"Do not. It is fine, it's just a wish. I wouldn't know what to say. What if I put her on the spot? Make her feel awkward. How do you even handle Westerners?"
"Ryū! Lucy-chan has lived in Japan since she was a baby. She may look like a westerner, but she isn't, really. Whatever... If you say no, it's no." Atsushi shrugged. He had learned, after years, that there was no point in arguing with Akutagawa, or try to change his mind. He was frustratingly stubborn.
Akutagawa sighed as he got up, putting his books in his bag. Really, he wanted to accept Atsushi's offer. Atsushi knew Lucy, and it would be the means of getting in contact with her. But no matter how bad he wanted it, he couldn't.
He wouldn't.
There wasn't really any reason as to why not, other than to protect himself as he had done for so long.
"I have to go home." He announced.
"Alright! Oh, Chuuya-san is looking for you. He went home today after Dazai was nagging at him, but you should call him—."
Akutagawa gave Atsushi a nasty look at the word 'call'.
"— or text! Or wait until tomorrow at school." Atsushi quickly finished, laughing nervously. "No need to call, obviously!"
"Hm, alright. I'll think about texting him. See you tomorrow." Akutagawa gave a curt bow, walking out of the study area with wide steps.
After taking his shoes off, Akutagawa brought the mail with him to the living room.
His usual mail consisted of bills and the modelling magazine Chuuya was in quite often. It was expensive for a monthly magazine, but it was worth it for his friend.
But this time, there was a different letter. Akutagawa inspected it with narrowed eyes.
It was from Tokyo. Which was weird, he lived in Yokohama. All his mail was from Yokohama, always.
The paper felt fancy. There was a slight shine to it, and a different feel from a normal paper envelope.
It was definitely addressed to him. Akutagawa Ryūnosuke. And his address.
Akutagawa took a deep breath, looking at his pets who had absolutely no interest in him. "It's always good to know you guys absolutely support me. Useless things… I'm sorry, that was rude. I'll give extra food." he reached over to pat one of his cats, who gave a sleepy ‘prrt’ in response.
Upon realising he still had to open the letter, Akutagawa groaned. He wasn’t good with these type of things at all. He grabbed a knife, cutting open the envelope carefully and pulling the letter out. His eyes zoomed in on the “Bravo Models” brand at the corner of the letter.
That was weird, he never applied to modelling agencies.
With bated breath, Akutagawa kept reading. And again, and a third time before placing the letter down, rubbing his hands over his face.
He had an appointment. At Bravo Models. Of course, he could cancel, and he had to agree to their chosen time.
And Akutagawa already knew exactly who put him up to this. And he’d have a good word with him when he saw him at college.
“Nakahara Chuuya!” Akutagawa walked over with big steps, pushing through the crowd.
“Oh my, Chibi, you’re in trouble~.” Dazai hummed, removing his arm from Chuuya’s shoulder. This wasn’t his fight at all, in his opinion.
“Chuuya-san, I got this letter yesterday. Explain to me what it means and why it was send to me.” Akutagawa demanded. He was so worked up; he couldn’t care less if he made a scene. Well he would care later, and want to drown from shame, but not at this very moment.
“For real? What agency is it?” Chuuya snatched the paper from Akutagawa’s hands, reading over it with wide eyes. “No fucking way. Ryū, Bravo models is one of the best agencies out there, y’know.”
“Then why did they ask me? I’m a nobody, I’m not even pretty enough.” Akutagawa folded his arms, a frown on his face.
“The last statement is debatable. But they literally say right here that just in the pictures they see great potential. Go to the appointment, what’s the worst that can happen??”
“I-.”
“Exactly, absolutely nothing.” Chuuya gave the paper back with a smug grin. Everything was going according to plan. “I’ll help you with the walk, and your good angles. You have a month; we’ll speed run through it.”
“Are we doing this for you or for me?” Akutagawa asked, defeated. He would amuse Chuuya for a little while. After all, he doubted such a big modelling agency would even take someone like him on.
“For you! Maybe a little bit for me and also a little bit for Osamu who inspired me.” Chuuya admitted.
“I am not doing anything for Dazai-san.” Akutagawa growled.
“Fine, fine, then do it for me! And for yourself, because you are a sight, and the world should see it.”
“Doubt it. But I’ll do whatever you say.” Akutagawa took a deep breath.
This would lead to the event that changed Akutagawa’s life.
For better and for worse.