Archive of Our Own

It was a normal Thursday afternoon when Annabeth decided- while completing a study guide for an English test she had the next day- that the greatest oxymore was not in Shakespeare's Hamlet, but instead in her life. Never before her senior year of High School had she had a normal day, which made the experience entirely abnormal.

But, in the strangest twist the fates had thrown Annabeth yet, in the months following the war with Gaea, her life became something resembling conventional. By the time December rolled around, she almost knew to expect it. There was still the occasional run in with a monster on the subway and weekend trips to Camp-Half Blood, but while she was sitting in the quiet library of the New York City boarding school she was attending, Annabeth could almost convince herself that the past ten years of her life hadn’t been real. She wondered if she would’ve been able to fully convince herself if it wasn’t for the three daily reminders that her mother was in fact a goddess; those three reminders being her scars, the nightmares, and Percy. Admittedly, one of those things was not like the others.

And as if he possessed some sixth sense that gave him the ability to know exactly when Annabeth was thinking about him, Annabeth heard her phone buzz in her backpack.

Since the beginning of the school year, Annabeth and Percy had been using cellphones. As half bloods, it was dangerous to use them, but considering Iris messaging hadn’t been working since August, there didn’t seem to be a better option. Luckily, since Percy and Annabeth were not involved in the latest prophecy, the most dangerous monsters had moved onto new targets.

Annabeth dug her phone out of the bottom of her canvas backpack and confirmed that it was Percy calling her before hitting the accept button.

“Hello,” she greeted.

“Hey,” Percy responded, his voice cheery. “Whatcha up to?”

“Well, I just finished studying for that stupid Hamlet test I have tomorrow,” she said, stuffing the papers back in her folder.

“Ugh,” Percy groaned, “that’s no fun.”

“I definitely wouldn’t say I’m having fun right now.” Annabeth shifted, propping the phone between her shoulder blade and ear so she could use both her hands to cramp her textbooks into the bag.

“Hmm, odd.” Infuriatingly, he did not elaborate on that thought; which really wasn’t that surprising to Annabeth because Percy took every chance possible to be infuriating.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’d expect you to love doing homework, because every time you come over you force me to do it.”

“That’s only because I know you wouldn't do it otherwise,” Annabeth explained. She was mainly joking, but she knew it was probably true. Even though Percy was pretty determined to complete his senior year so he could attend college with Annabeth in the fall, his persistence ran short when it came to school work.

Honestly, Annabeth loved how adamant he was about going to college with her, as she loved when he spoke about their future together, so she figured the least she could do was keep Percy on track to execute his plans.

Percy laughed, the bright sound pulling her back to their conversation. “So, I called to ask if you are coming over today? Yesterday you said that you’d be busy, but I thought I might as well check.” When she didn’t immediately respond, he added, “It’s okay if you can’t.”

Annabeth was drawn back into her memories. She was tongue tied as she replayed the conversation she had with Percy the day before in her mind. It had went like this:

---

“What’s the answer to 23?” Percy asked. They were sitting on Percy’s bed, so close to one another that their legs were touching. There was a comfortable tenderness to the moment, even if it was spent doing math homework.

Annabeth leaned over, placing her right hand on his shoulder, so she could get a better look at the paper. “It’s a quadratic equation,” she answered.

“Okay,” Percy nodded, “but what’s the answer?”

Annabeth rolled her eyes. “What exactly would you be learning from me giving you the answer?”

He blinked. “The answer to 23.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Annabeth scooted to the edge of the bed, “but no.”

Percy attempted his ‘sad seal eyes’ as Piper had labeled them, but it had little effect on Annabeth. In fairness, it would’ve been a lie to say it didn’t make her brain melt a little, but she had gotten quite good at keeping her composure despite that.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Annabeth explained as she pushed herself off Percy’s bed. “Try to have that problem done by the time I get back.”

Percy stared blankly at the paper on his lap. “Annabeth, I literally have zero clue what a quadratec is.”

“Quadratic,” Annabeth corrected. “Quadratec sells Jeep accessories, I believe.” She opened Percy’s bedroom door and was about to step into the hallway, when she decided to take some pity on him and called over her shoulder, “ x equals negative b, plus or minus radical b squared minus 4ac, all over 2a.”

“I have no idea what that means.” Still, Percy was smiling and the room was filled with an overall joyful air when she left.

As if she was in her own home, Annabeth easily made her way down the hall of the Jackson’s apartment and to the bathroom. Actually, that was a poor simile; Annabeth felt more at home here than she did with her actual biological family back in California. That comfort partly comes from the fact that she was dating Percy, but also because Sally Jackson was a beacon of hospitality. It was during the six long months that Percy was missing that she had begun to see the Manhattan apartment as a home to her, often choosing to sleep in Percy’s empty bedroom rather than her dorm at her boarding school on weekends. And Sally had taken her in, made her dinner and cookies, bought her new clothing, and talked her down from many panic attacks, even when Sally must’ve been feeling the same fears herself; but most importantly, she had never lost faith in Annabeth. Sally made it clear that she had always believed that Annabeth would find her son.

Never in her life had Annabeth felt so stable, so loved, as she did when in the presence of the Jackson’s. Their house always felt like a home. And now that Percy was back, she continued to come over nearly every day after school.

It was while she was in the bathroom that she noted that it was the quietest the apartment had been in a long time. Paul was still at work and Sally had gone out to get groceries, leaving only Annabeth and Percy there.

After washing her hands, Annabeth made her way back down the hall into Percy’s room. While rounding the corner, she asked, “Make any progress?”

But then she was in his room and she immediately became aware of how the mood had changed. Percy was still staring at his lap so it took Annabeth a minute to realize that the paper was no longer there. From her viewpoint, Annabeth couldn’t see the look in his green eyes, but his mouth was pressed in a tight line and his posture was ridgid. It was abundantly clear that something had shifted in Percy in the minute she was in the bathroom, but she had no idea how or why.

Annabeth cautiously made her way towards the bed, afraid to startle him, yet Percy didn’t seem to notice her. She placed her hand on Percy’s shoulder, but he flinched away.

When he looked up at Annabeth, his usual sea green eyes seemed much darker. It reminded Annabeth of the color of the Cocytus; the pain in Percy’s eyes was much too similar to when they were in that miserable river. Yet, when his pupils locked on Annabeth’s face, he smiled.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, reaching forward to grab Annabeth’s hand.

She sat down next to him on the bed once again, but it felt entirely different. “No, no. It’s okay.”

Annabeth paused, trying to plan out the best way to have this conversation in her head. It was clear that Percy was upset about something, but it was very hard to pry that information out of him; Annabeth knew that first hand. But before she got the chance to speak, Percy held his arms out for her, and Annabeth obliged. She leaned into him.

“I’ll admit, I didn’t make any progress on 23.” Percy dodged Annabeth’s question before she even got the chance to ask it.

But it didn’t matter, because two could play at that game. “Are you okay?” Annabeth asked, ignoring Percy’s previous statement.

“Aside from the fact that I’m being forced to do algebra homework?” Annabeth couldn’t see Percy’s face because her back was up against his chest, but she could hear the attempt at a smirk in his voice. “I’m good. Where did the paper go?”

Percy pulled at the light blue blanket on his bed for a few moments before he found his homework shoved underneath his pillow. The paper had an alarming amount of wrinkles on it that were not there when Annabeth last saw it, and she could not help the morbid curiosity that wondered how it had happened. But she figured she probably already knew the answer.

“Percy, you know that’s not what I meant. When I walked in, you looked upset.”

“I’m fine, Wise Girl,” he assured her, tightening his grip on her waist. “Better now that you’re back, though.” She finally turned to get a look at his face, and all the darkness had been washed away and was now replaced by what looked like a genuinely happy smile. But Annabeth was smart enough to know that emotions of that strength could not disappear that fast, they could only be hidden.

Annabeth took both his hands in hers and gazed directly into his eyes as she pleaded, “Please, Percy, I know somethings wrong. It looked like you had just had- well, not a nightmare, but something like that. Maybe a flashback? Was it about tartarus?”

And he stiffened in a way that clued to Annabeth that she had guessed correctly. Still, Percy relaxed, and calmly said, “I don’t wanna talk about that right now.”

“You haven’t wanted to talk about it for almost four months! Let me help you, Seaweed Brain.”

Percy raised an eyebrow. “You were the one who said they didn’t want to talk about it.” With the word It, he was of course referring to tartarus.

“That- that was months ago,” Annabeth defended. “I just needed time to process it all. I’ve been opening up to you since then, you have not.”

Percy let go of her hands to cup her face, then he pulled her forward and kissed her; Annabeth was mad, but it was easier to kiss him back. Her heart was aching in her chest but his warm arms drew her in. She knew it was a losing battle. When Percy finally pulled away, he said, “So, can you explain 23 to me in actual English?” He completely glossed over everything that had just happened, just as she had known he would do.

So she helped Percy finish the worksheet, then she left early to head back to her dorm. She was supposed to wait for Sally to get home and eat dinner with the Jackson’s, as she did most nights, but she needed out. Annabeth claimed she would be busy with classwork for the next few days, which was kinda true, and most likely wouldn’t have the time to come over for the rest of the week.

She took the subway home, despite Percy’s offers to drive her back to the boarding school she attended. Annabeth opted to not eat that night, instead she crawled into bed and went to sleep immediately, desperate for the day to end.

---

Annabeth decided to do the petty thing. “Yeah, I’m super sorry, but I’m not going to be able to come over tonight. I’m insanely backed up in calculus.”

“No, Beth, you’re good. Keep doing your wise girl thing.” She could practically hear his smile. Annabeth’s heart squeezed in her chest, as she was once again reminded of how complex her emotions became when they revolved around Perseus Jackson. “But you’re still coming over tomorrow, right.”

“Of course. I should go, lots of work awaits me.”

“Okay. I’d wish you luck, but you probably don’t need it.” Annabeth laughed in spite of herself. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she replied easily, because it was true. It just so happened that it kinda hurt to be around him sometimes, too.

After they hung up, Annabeth left the library to head back to her dorm room. It’s not like she had anything better to do.
Annabeth shouldered her backpack and pushed open the double doors of the school’s library and took a left. From there, she exited the main building and walked across the courtyard to the girl’s dorm building. She had walked this path many times this year and she had mastered the ability to do it relying solely on muscle memory. Annabeth had gone to this boarding school the year before as well, but anything past the first semester was a complete blur to her, overshadowed by memories of Percy’s disappearance. In many ways, it felt like this was her first year at that school.

In September, when her Senior year began, Annabeth had thought that it might finally be her chance at a normal school year. She had thought that about the year before, after the war against Kronos, but that hadn’t turned out too well. Yet, so far, it was kinda working out. But, strangely enough, Annabeth couldn’t say that the normalcy was helping her to cope.

At first, everything was fine. The war with Gaea and Tartarus had left a new layer of scars, but the overwhelming rush of victory had offset them for a while; and things between her and Percy were better than ever before. They had wanted so badly to be ordinary high school students and the possibility of it had invigorated them. Annabeth and Percy, hand and hand, had taken off at full speed towards the light at the end of the tunnel. But, after a few months of staying in the fluorescent lit “real world”, the dust settled and it became clear they’d have to face their trauma. Well, at least it had become clear to Annabeth. Percy seemed content to keep his feelings hidden from her for forever.

Once she got to the girls dormitory, she took the stairs to the second floor and entered her room. Annabeth locked the door behind her and dropped her backpack on the desk chair. She changed out of her school uniform and took her hair out of it’s ponytail, running her fingers through her curls. That much was routine. Then she went to put on her boots, only to remember she wasn't going over to Percy’s apartment this evening. Annabeth took a seat on her bed and pulled her legs up, hugging her knees. She was unsure of what to do next. Nowadays, she always followed a plan or schedule.

Annabeth could feel herself retracting back into her old habits, back when she made it a habit to avoid Percy for any little misunderstanding. She was extraordinarily jealous back then and she didn’t know how to handle her feelings. That was what Annabeth did when she didn’t know what to do, she hid. She had thought she had gotten better about that, but here she was hiding from Percy again. She loved him so much, but she was hiding from him.

The truth was, Annabeth was not finding it particularly easy to adjust to typical high school life. Her problem was not with the workload, as her grades were still what her teachers called ‘exceptional’, but instead Annabeth couldn’t seem to place herself back into society. Nobody else had nightmares every night or had lost as many friends as she had.

In August, right after the war with Gaea, Percy had asked if they should talk about tartarus, and Annabeth had said not yet. Back then, she couldn’t even think of the word tartarus without a dam of repressed memories crumbling down. She had so much guilt for what had happened to her and Percy; it was her fault they had ended up in the pit, after all. Annabeth was supposed to be the smart one, but she had allowed herself to get wrapped in Arachne’s web and pulled down. She was supposed to be strong, but she had fallen so easily. Annabeth, for the first time in her life, couldn’t find a single thing about herself to be proud of; she just felt like a failure. Annabeth knew if she and Percy had talked about tartarus back in August, he would’ve assured her it wasn’t her fault. Percy being Percy, would have validated her wholeheartedly. But, Annabeth didn’t want to be validated, she wanted to fix it herself.

For the first two months of high school, Annabeth pushed herself to the limit with the purpose of rectifying her failures. She worked out for multiple hours of day and severely downed her caloric intake, just to prove she still had control over her life. She made sure her grades kept her at the top of her class and that she was the fastest runner on the track team, just as a reminder that she was capable. Annabeth could see that it wasn't helping- the combination of these unhealthy coping mechanisms often made her feel physically sick- but she was ashamed of the fact that she had caused these problems herself. The worst part of her pride was the fact that she often felt that she should be above needing help.

Then November rolled around and Annabeth knew she couldn’t go on living that way anymore. She told Percy she thought that it was time they should finally talk about tartarus, but he was the one who said ‘not yet’ this time; so that was that.

In those three months Annabeth had been so focused on her own pain that she hadn’t noticed how deeply Percy was suffering beside her. Things had been so good in their relationship that it was much easy to just assume things in their respective lives were good as well; but they weren’t. When Annabeth really studied his face, looking past the smile that was almost always there when they were together, she could barely make out the remnants of anguish on his face. Percy was surprisingly good at hiding his emotions when he wanted to and Annabeth was sure she was sure only to notice them because she was good at reading faces. She couldn’t help but wonder what his beautiful face looked like when he was alone, when he let the full extent of his despair out.

Annabeth knew he hid these ugly thoughts to prevent those he cared about from worrying on his behalf, but Annabeth wished he’d realize his secrecy only made her worry more. So, before she could figure out a more permanent solution to all these problems, Annabeth felt some distance was best.

After what could have been a few minutes or hours, Annabeth decided she did all the thinking she could handle for the day. She spent the last few hours of her day watching old movies on her computer before curling up in bed without eating dinner. Sleep came relatively easy, which was nice concerning it was rapidly becoming one of her favorite things to do.

---

The turning point came at 1:27 in the morning when Annabeth woke up to her phone ringing. Slightly annoyed, Annabeth reached over to grab the phone from the nightstand and check who was calling her. When she saw that it was Sally calling, her annoyance quickly morphed into concern. Annabeth adored Sally and even considered her to be a second mother to her, but it was not common for her boyfriend’s mom to call her at one AM.

She could feel her heart pounding in her throat, but she swallowed hard and tried to ignore the pit opening in her chest. Annabeth accepted the call and said, “Hello,” her voice horse with exhaustion and nerves.

When Sally spoke, the emotions in her voice mirrored Annabeth’s. “Annabeth, sorry for calling at this time.”

“That’s okay, Sally. Is everything okay? Is Percy-” Annabeth froze. There were so many ways she could have finished that sentence, so many things she could ask in that moment. It felt as if all the oxygen was being sucked from the room and she was suffocating.

“Percy’s alright.” Sally rushed to assure her, but it wasn’t convincing. “He had another nightmare, but I can’t calm him down this time. He keeps-” Sally paused, talking a loud and deep breath. “I just think it’d help him if you were here.”

And just like that, Annabeth forced herself to get out of bed and slipped on her boots. “I can be there in 15 minutes.”

Sally sounded even more concerned when she asked, “Are you going to walk?”

“Yeah,” Annabeth confirmed, grabbing the first sweater she could find, an olive green army jacket, and wrapped it around her. She didn’t bother changing out of her pajamas; she just grabbed her bag and headed out the door.

“Okay, dear,” Sally sighed. Annabeth knew she probably didn’t like the idea of her walking alone past midnight in New York City, but there was little Sally could do to stop her. Annabeth didn’t have her own car and she had to get to Percy. Plus, Annabeth was perfectly capable of handling herself. “Be careful. I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll be there soon.” Then Annabeth hung up and rushed down the stairs and out of her dorm. You were supposed to sign out at the central office before leaving campus, but the office was closed and Annabeth wasn’t beyond breaking the occasional rule. She ducked out the gates of her prestigious boarding school and rushed down the streets of Manhattan towards the Jackson apartment.

Her army jacket was much too thin for December in the Northeast, but she couldn’t be bothered to care about the discomfort. All she cared about was getting to Percy.

The walk normally took Annabeth anywhere from fifteen to twenty minutes, but that night it only took her ten. Later, Annabeth would say that was due the sidewalks being sparsely populated in the late night hours and the fact she nearly ran the whole way there, but in the moment, it felt like a miracle from the gods.

Annabeth entered their apartment building and took the stairs to their floor. She had a key to their unit, but she decided to knock anyway. It was one thing to barge into the Jackson’s apartment in the midday, it was another to barge in at 1:53 AM. She only had to knock once before the door swung open, revealing a disheveled Sally. There were dark bags underneath her eyes and the wrinkles on her forehead seemed more prominent than usual. She had a large, stained T-shirt thrown over her baby bump.

Nonetheless, she grinned widely when her eyes locked with Annabeth’s and she drew her into a tight embrace. “Annabeth,” Sally said, pulling back to study her face. “How are you, dear?”

The question felt utterly ridiculous. Sally was the one who was six months pregnant and looked completely exhausted, and Annabeth wasn’t even sure what exactly was going on with Percy at the moment; still, Sally had asked how Annabeth was.

Annabeth wanted so badly to reassure Sally that she was perfectly fine, as to not add to her list of concerns, but Mrs. Blofis was so comforting that Annabeth couldn’t stop herself from crumbling. It took everything in her not to break down into tears. “It’s been a tough couple of months.”

“It has.”

“So,” Annabeth cleared her throat, swallowing her sobs. “Where is Percy?” She could have asked ‘what’s wrong with Percy’ or ‘is Percy okay’, but over the years, the two of them had come to understand that the most important thing was being together. First, Annabeth needed to find Percy, and the rest could be dealt with from there.

“He’s in his room,” Sally sighed, running her hand over her swollen stomach. “He has calmed down quite a bit since he first woke up, but...” She shifted her eyes to look at Percy’s closed bedroom door. “I don’t think he’s asleep, yet. He’s clearly exhausted. He won’t tell me what the nightmare was about, but when he woke up he was yelling for you.”

Annabeth’s heart swole and she needed to see him immediately. Forget all the anger and resentment that had been swirling around in her mind the past few days, she needed to be there for Percy. She gestured towards his bedroom. “I’m going to go see him, then.”

Sally nodded. “I’ll give you two some privacy. I’m gonna go lay down, try to get some sleep.”

“Of course.” Annabeth gave her best attempt at a smile and then turned to enter Percy’s room. She slowly turned the door handle, doing her best to quietly creep into his room for fear that Percy might be trying to sleep. Instead, she found him wide awake, sitting on his bed with his computer resting on his lap. The light from the computer screen was a beacon in the dark room, illuminating Percy’s face. His hair was tangled and his green eyes were bloodshot.

Annabeth pulled the door shut behind her, the noise causing Percy to look up at her. His eyes widened in confusion and shock, as if he didn’t believe she was really here. Still, he scooted over on his bed and gestured for her to come sit next to him.

“Hi,” she whispered, crossing the room to sit next to him. The bed creaked when she sat, adjusting to the added weight, but other than that the room was stiff with silence.

“Hey,” Percy whispered back before turning off his computer, leaving the room in true, complete darkness. He appeared as nothing more than a featureless silhouette next to her. His shadow turned to face her, and his voice came a little bit louder, and undeniably hoarse, “Did Mom call you?”

“Yeah,” Annabeth muttered back. There was nothing preventing them from talking at a normal volume, but the stillness made the moment feel all the more tender, and Annabeth didn’t want to compromise that feeling. She didn’t want to ruin what was currently so calm.

Percy didn’t respond. He exhaled and his throat sounded rough; he had most likely been crying at some point before she arrived. She was organizing the thoughts in her head, trying to figure out what to say, when Percy surprised her, tightly wrapping his arms around her torso and resting his head on her chest. Annabeth leaned back onto the pillow, settling in.

There was so much that needed to be said, that she wanted to say to him, but she could tell that this was the best thing she could do for him at the moment, just sit with him in the silent blackness, just be there; so she did. Annabeth combed her hand through his dark hair, soothing him. She listened as his breathing slowed, and he listened to her heart beat in her chest.

They didn’t talk for a while- it could’ve been hours, Annabeth wasn’t sure- but when they did, it was Percy who broke the silence. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” She breathed, twirling a stand of his hair between her fingers.

“For making you come here in the middle of the night.”

Halfheartedly, Annabeth smiled. “Well, technically it was your mom who made me come here.” Percy’s head was still resting on her chest so she couldn’t necessarily see his face- plus there was the added hurdle of it being pitched back- but she just knew that he was smiling, based on the way his arms that were wrapped around stomach tightened their grasp. “And she didn’t make me come, I wanted to,” she reassured him.

“Well, I’m glad that you're here,” Percy said, rolling over to lie beside Annabeth, leaning his head on her shoulder.

“I’m glad that I’m here, too.” And despite all the tension she had felt between them in the past few weeks, it was the truth; she was glad to be there with him. But since she could never let things be too easy for him- even in moments where she was trying to comfort him- she said, “Your mom told me that you were calling for me when you first woke up.”

“She told you that?” His voice was muffled, as he buried his head in the crook of Annabeth’s neck.

“She did.”

“The nightmare was about you.”

“Oh,” was all Annabeth could say. She went stiff. It was rare that Annabeth and her sharp wit could be rendered speechless, but she hadn’t expected him to say that. Annabeth was good at picking up on the clues and determining the possibility of certain occurrences, but there was absolutely nothing that hinted that Percy would do that. She had spent weeks trying to get Percy to open up to her without any success , but he had just blurted that out without intense prying.

Percy interpreted Annabeth’s stillness the wrong way and lifted his head from her shoulder and grabbed her hands. “I mean, the nightmare was about losing you.”

None of this felt real. Maybe it was the inky room that prevented her from seeing his face or the continuous whispering that stopped her from hearing the true tone of his voice, but this felt entirely unreal. In a voice that felt too hushed to even be a whisper she said, “Tell me more.”

Percy didn’t respond for a bit, and Annabeth thought he was going to shut down on her, but he didn’t. “We- we were in Rome, and we had just found you.” His voice was pained and the story lacked detail, but she knew exactly what he was talking about. She could never forget that day; the day that she had completed the Mark of Athena and they had fallen into Tarartus. She often had nightmares about it, too.

She squeezed his hands. “Go on.”

“But this time, when you fell, I couldn’t get to you. You went over the edge and I-”

Even in the darkness, she could see that the dam was about to break. She reached out and pulled Percy into a secure hug as he began to cry. He collapsed into her, not trying to disguise the fact he was hurt, as he so often did. Annabeth kept one hand tangled in his hair as the other rubbed circles on his back. His tears were soaking the corner of her shirt, but she didn’t care. She was crying too.

After what simultaneously felt like two minutes and two hours, Percy mumbled, “It felt so real. I’d thought I’d actually lost you.”

“Hey,” Annabeth said louder, her voice croaky from crying, but sturdy nonetheless. She let go of Percy’s hands to cup his face, guiding his head from where it was burrowed into her shirt and bringing it forward so their foreheads were touching. Her cheeks would be blotchy and tear streaked, but it didn’t matter because she knew Percy’s would be too. It couldn’t be seen in the dark, but that somehow made everything easier. “I’m right here.”

Percy brought his hands up to hold the back of her head, keeping his forehead pressed up against hers. “I woke up and it still felt real. I felt like I’d actually lost you. I just needed you to be here, proof that it wasn’t real.”

Carefully, Annabeth closed the small distance between them. She kissed him, trying her best to reassure him that this was real, that she was here. His lips tasted salty from his tears, but she didn’t mind, hers probably did too.

Slowly, she tried to pull away, but Percy pulled her back. He held her face so close to his that the tips of their noses were touching and she could feel his warm breath on her lips. His hands cupped her face, using his index finger to wipe away tears that were invisible in the dark. “I love you so much,” he said.

Annbeth did the only logical thing and kissed him again.

It was Percy who pulled away this time, yawning. For the first time, Annabeth looked over at the digital clock on Percy’s nightstand and saw that the bright green numbers read 3:03. She wasn’t exactly sure when Percy had first awoken from his nightmare, but she guessed he had been up for at least four hours.

Annabeth kissed his cheek before saying, “You should try to get some sleep.”

“Are you staying?”

Annabeth had toyed with the thought of walking back to her dorm now that Percy had calmed down- she did have a test tomorrow morning after all- but the second he asked the question she had made up her mind. “Of course. We can talk more in the morning?”

She could see Percy’s tired shadow nod, so she took that as her cue to lie down and lift the covers up for Percy. Usually Annabeth made a point to ask Sally before she stayed the night, but she had probably already expected that Annabeth would

Percy crawled under the covers, wasting no time in wrapping his arm around Annabeth’s waist drawing her close. This was typical behavior for Percy, but Annabeth did note his grasp did seem to be a little tighter, as if he was still seeking physical proof that she was here with him. Annabeth snuggled closer, happy to be to prove it to him for as long as he needed.

She listened as his breathing evened out and fell into time with the quiet hum of the furnace. Manhattan, which was just outside the window, was a complete foil to everything inside Percy’s bedroom at that moment. Outside it was cold, artificially bright, and loud from the constant sound of horns and sirens. For once, Percy and Annabeth were inside.

Annabeth had been positive that Percy was asleep, but when she leaned over and whispered, “I love you,” into his raven colored hair, she swore she heard him whisper it back. Maybe she had imagined it.

---

The mixture of sunlight streaming in through the blinds and the smell of pancakes wafting through the apartment woke Annabeth up. She rolled over as best she could without waking Percy, who still had his arm slung over her stomach, to check the time. The clock read 6:45 AM, which was much too early to get up in Annabeth’s personal opinion-especially considering the time they went to sleep- but if Annabeth had any chance of getting to school in time, she’d have to. However, she didn’t feel right about waking Percy up.

Carefully, Annabeth lifted his arm off of her and slid off the side of the bed. When her feet hit the floor she had to physically bite her lip to prevent herself from wincing, the cold air immediately swarming her; she wanted nothing more than to crawl back under the covers with Percy, but she soldiered on and crept out the door.

In the kitchen, she found the source of the heavenly smell, as Sally stood over the stove top grilling distinctively blue pancakes. She was wearing an over sized white and blue floral robe, which was tied in a bow around her growing stomach and her hair was neatly tied back; despite all that, the dark coloring under her eyes revealed how tired she was.

The soft sound of Percy's door latching behind her caused Sally to look up, perplexed, but she smiled brightly when she saw Annabeth. “Good morning, dear. I should’ve known it’d be you. I don’t think Percy has ever gotten up before 7 AM on his own.”

“He’s gonna have to if he has any hope of getting to school today.” Annabeth crossed across the kitchen to sit on one of the bar-stools and rest her elbows on the tiled countertop. “Thank gods that you made pancakes. Now, he has an incentive to get up.”

Sally smiled, sliding a streaming plate of blue pancakes across the counter towards Annabeth. “I’ve had plenty of practice waking up Percy,” she winked. “Now, would you like something to eat?”

The smell wafting from the plate in front of Annabeth was beyond tempting, but there was a twisting pain in her stomach that made the thought of eating appalling. Plus if she had any hope of making it back to her boarding school before second period- when her English test was- she had to hurry. She wasn’t used to eating any breakfast, anyways.

“No thanks, Sally.” When Sally furrowed her eyebrows in concern, Annabeth was quick to add, “I have some granola bars in my dorm room.” It wasn't a lie- Annabeth was not a liar- but she had absolutely no intention of eating one. She didn’t have the time.

“Well, I’m going to get in shower. Can you give these to Percy?”

“Of course,” Annabeth agreed, picking up the plate and carrying it back towards Percy’s bedroom. She knew if brought them to him in bed, she'd have a higher likelihood of success than if she tried to drag him to the kitchen counter. Also, she was hoping that now that the sun had risen, they could finally have the conversation that had been pushed back for months too long, and the kitchen table didn’t seem like the best place for rehashing trauma.

Annabeth crept into the room, taking in the image of Percy sleeping peacefully, which was unfortunately a rare sight. He was curled up in a pose that resembled the fetal position, with his arms still stretched out in the direction of where Annabeth had been laying. His black hair was pressed flat, blanketing his eyes, and he had most definitely been drooling.

Keeping hold of the plate of pancakes, Annabeth sat down on the edge of the bed and lightly brushed her fingers along Percy’s cheek. When he stirred, tensing under Annabeth's touch, she whispered, “Good morning.”

He relaxed when he heard her voice, learning into her touch, but he didn’t open his eyes. He mumbled incoherently, but Annabeth swore she heard something that sounded like, “No thanks.”

“Percy, honey,” Annabeth attempted to make her voice soft, but she couldn’t help laughing at Percy’s sleepy scowl. “You have to wake up.”

Percy slowly opened his green eyes but he didn’t make a move to sit up. “I don’t wanna.”

Annabeth pushed the hair out of his eyes and said, “But you have to go to school. You can’t fail your credit recovery classes.”

Percy shifted to lay flat on his back, but he kept his eyes trained on Annabeth’s face. “And you know how much I care about school.”

“Oh, your mom made blue pancakes, by the way,” Annabeth smirked, holding the plate up for Percy to see.

“Fine,” Percy relented, sitting up and reaching for the plate. “You win.”

“It wasn’t a competition,” Annabeth said, handing the pancakes to him. “But yeah, I won.”

Ever eloquent, Percy flipped her off before shoveling way too much pancake into his mouth; how he could be so hungry right after he woke up, Annabeth wasn’t sure, but it had worked to her advantage. “Did you bring any clothes with you?” Percy asked after inhaling the majority of one of his pancakes.

“No, I was in a hurry to get here. I’ll have to stop by my dorm room to get my uniform before I go to school.”

“Won’t you be late?”

“Yeah, but there’s really no way to circumvent that.”

Percy’s tired eyes glossed over at the word circumvent, as they often did when she’d go on her hour-long architecture spiels. “Stop being smart in the mornings, Beth, I’m too tired to try to understand what you’re saying.” Annabeth chuckled, scooting over to sit shoulder to shoulder next to Percy. “Also, why don’t you just skip school for the day? We could do something funner.” He smirked as he said funner, and Annabeth knew he had said it just to annoy her.

She brushed past it, instead laying her head on his shoulder. He was still warm from being under the covers and Annabeth wanted nothing more to take him up on his offer. Despite herself, she said, “As tempting as that proposal is, I have an English test to take. I already feel bad enough about missing first period.” Realizing that if she remained tucked up against Percy she’d never be able to leave, she moved so she was sitting directly in front of him, face to face. “Plus, you won’t be able to graduate with me if you don’t get all your recovery credits.” Annabeth knew exactly where Percy’s weak spots were, and she knew how much he truly cared about graduating with Annabeth so they could go to New Rome University together in the fall.

Just as she had expected, he conceded, saying, “Fine, but at least let me walk you back to your dorm.”

Annabeth nodded and the two fell into a comfortable silence as Percy finished up his breakfast.

At least, it was comfortable until Annabeth unintentionally used the silence to start thinking, and that thinking turned to spiraling; and she knew she had to deal with this tension between them before it evaded her again. So, without stalling herself to think it through, she charged forward and said, “Last night, you told me about your dream.”

“Oh, yeah. I remember.” She could see his guard going up, and Annabeth knew she had to hurry before he blocked the subject off entirely.

“You- you said that it had felt like you’d lost me. How often do you have nightmares like that?”

Percy dropped his eyes to stare at his empty plate. “It doesn’t really matter.”

Annabeth reached forward and seized the plate from Percy’s clutches. She sat it back on the dresser before taking his hands. “But it does matter, Perce. We’re supposed to trust each other-”

“I do trust you, Annabeth,” Percy interrupted, tone serious.

“I know you do,” and honestly, she did know that. “And I trust you, too. We have been through so much together, and you’re truly the only person who can understand. We have to confide in each other.”

Percy let go of one of her hands to bring his hand up to cup her cheek. He brought her face towards his, so close that when he spoke she could feel the ghost of his breath on her lips. “I love you.”

Annabeth tried to repeat his words, but she only got out, “I lo,” before he was kissing her. And once again, Annabeth felt herself stuck in an internal conflict. Because, a part of her was melting from Percy’s declaration of love and his tender kiss. She loved him after all. But the other part of her was mad; no livid, livid that he had brushed off her attempts to close the gap between them. So was so clearly throwing him a life savior, but he absolutely refused to take it, instead opting to pull her into the thrashing waters with him.

So, when she pulled away from the kiss and saw that his wall had been fully constructed, Annabeth decided to flee once again. “Sorry, but I didn’t realize it was so late. I really should be heading back to school.”

“Wait, I’ll walk you. Just let me throw some clothes on-”

“No, it’s fine. You should head to school, too.”

“You sure?”

“Do you think I’m not able to walk to school without a man accompanying me?” Annabeth raised an eyebrow and made a show of crossing her arms.

“No I-” Percy stuttered, holding his hands up as if surrendering. Annabeth had to cover her mouth with her hand to stifle her obvious laughter. “That’s not fair!” Percy whined.

Annabeth, in between laughs, leaned up to kiss his cheek before getting up. “That’s what I thought. I’ll see you later.”

From there, Annabeth made a point to get out of the apartment and back to her boarding school as fast as possible, before she did something crazy- like running back and spending the day playing hooky with Percy.

---

The English test went well, the rest of her day, not so much. She would like to blame it all on Percy, but logically, she wasn't free of fault. And as much as she’d like to say she’d simply had a relapse of her young selves tendency to run away, it is impossible to relapse when it had never been gone. Annabeth always ran away.

It started out as an accident. When she got back to her dorm, she was in such a hurry to get into her school uniform and rush to class that she forgot to send the obligatory ‘I made it’ text to Percy. Annabeth didn’t use her phone in class, so Percy’s ‘did you get to school?’ text went unnoticed for the duration of her morning classes. Then, when Annabeth saw the text at lunch she was talking to her friend so she forgot to reply. Finally, she was back in her dorm after all the school day had ended and she still hadn’t texted Percy back, even after he sent a simple but effective, ‘?’.

At this point, Annabeth would admit that it seemed like she was ignoring Percy. That wasn’t her intention, she had been trying to message him for the past hour, but every time she picked up her phone an intense stab of dread would impale her heart. So, she was doing her homework and ignoring Percy.

It frustrated Annabeth that her childish antics were coming back into the forefront, after she had spent a year of her life actively trying to grow up. But, what frustrated Annabeth the most was her inability to pinpoint why she was unable to talk to Percy all of the sudden. She couldn’t figure it out, and there was nothing she despised more than not being able to figure something out. The immature part of Annabeth that was continuing to surface was convinced that by messaging Percy back she’d be surrendering, waving a white flag that spells out her inability to solve their situation, and little Annabeth would never let herself do that. She didn’t want help, she wanted answers.

Her phone, which sat face down across the room on her bed, was buzzing nonstop. No doubt Percy was texting her. She mentally registered the fact that it was now four o’clock, meaning Percy would have just gotten out of school, meaning he’d likely come looking for her if she didn’t respond soon. She did her best to brush the thought away. If Percy was MIA, she would undeniably do the same, but that did nothing to ease that sharp stab every time she tried to get up and answer the phone. So she sat there, trying to do her calculus homework, even though she couldn’t really focus and it was a Friday night and she should be heading over to her boyfriend's apartment. It didn’t matter, she just needed something in front of her; she needed to focus on something she understood.

And finally, finally, for no apparent reason, at the sound of her phone ringing for the third time in a row, Annabeth was able to move. She leaped from the desk chair and picked up her phone, not even checking the caller ID before answering. She didn’t have to look, she already knew who it was.

“Annabeth?” Percy panted, clearly out of breath.

“Yeah, yeah it’s me.”

“Oh, gods,” he was still short of breath, but the relief in his voice was obvious. “Where have you been? Are you alright? Where are you now?”

Anger stirred in the pit of her stomach. All these questions, yet Percy never answers any of the questions she asked him. She was tempted to yell out at him, tell him this was all his fault, but she wasn’t sure what that would accomplish. Instead, she took a page out of Percy’s book and deflected. “It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later. Can you meet me by the gates of my school?”

“Of course. I’ll be there in five.”

Annabeth didn’t bother pointing out that if he was at home, where he was supposed to be, it would've been at least a fifteen minute walk, meaning he had definitely already been on his way to her boarding school. “Alright, I’ll meet you there.”

“I love you,” Percy said.

And despite all the brewing anger, Annabeth said, “I love you, too,” with complete sincerity. She hung up the phone, pulled on her boots and coat, and left to go meet Percy by the gates.

The first thing Annabeth noticed when she swung open the door and started crossing the courtyard to the front gates was the cold. Thick snow was swirling in the air, creating a white haze all throughout Manhattan. The first snow of the year had been in early December, but this was the first time it was packed thick enough to stick to the ground, causing each step Annabeth took to be followed by a crunch. For a moment, the cold ache in Annabeth warmed at the sight of the rapidly falling snow. Growing up in Virginia and living with her parents in San Francisco, classic winter wonderlands were kinda a foreign concept to her. Even living at Camp Half blood in New York, the weather borders had prevented snow from feeling natural to her.

Yet, this warmth didn’t last long. Annabeth was shivering by the time she reached the gates. The light of the sun reflecting on the fresh snow was blinding. Annabeth took a seat on the bench by the gate, stuffed her hands in her coat pockets, and waited for Percy.

After sitting on that cold bench for what felt like way too long, Annabeth heard the sound of crunching snow and turned and saw Percy emerging from the misty haze. He was wearing a jacket that was much too light in Annabeth’s opinion, and his cheeks were flushed from the cold.
“Annabeth,” he called once he was in earshot.

She offered and smiled and scooted over, patting the spot on the bench beside her. Ridge, he took a seat.

“Where in Hades have you been?” His usual sea green eyes were stormy, boring into Annabeth with a mix of anger and concern.

Annabeth shifted her eyes up, watching as the sun peaked out between the flurries of snow. “Um, at school.” She didn’t have a better answer than that.

Percy gaped at her, anger beating out concern. “Annabeth, what the fuck? I was worried about you. You can’t just disappear like that and not answer my texts! You worried me”

At this point, Annabeth knew the logical thing would be to diffuse the situation and try to explain her feelings in a calm manner. But the thing was, Percy had disappeared like that, Percy had not answered her like that, so she couldn’t be calm. She was worried. She was mad.

All of Annabeth and Percy’s development in communication over the past year flew out the window. It was only fitting, seeming as Annabeth had regressed to her thirteen year old self in every other aspect. This had been building up for so long. Since she couldn’t find the proper words to explain her anger to Percy, she yelled, “Are you serious? I worried you?”

Percy was taken aback by that, but he didn’t retreat. He raised his voice as well. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Once again, there was an opening for a peaceful resolution, but Annabeth didn’t take it. Her thirteen year old self never did, so why would she now? Percy was so oblivious, and she was so angry. “Percy, you are so clearly hurting, but you never tell me anything. I’ve tried to ask you about it so many times but you always shut me down. This-us- isn’t healthy.”

Percy scoffed, literally scoffed. “It was never healthy, Annabeth.”

She wanted to slap him so badly, but she simultaneously wanted to run away and never look back. She settled on shouting, “But it could be, if you’d just try-”

“Whoa, whoa, wait a second,” Percy gestured erratically. “You can’t put this all on me. You act like you aren’t closed off, too. If this is unhealthy, it’s not just because of me.”

“What do you mean I’m closed off? I’ve literally been trying to talk to you about tartarus for weeks now, but you always shut it down!”

“Well, which one of us shut it down first?” Percy smirked, and it was so much colder than the sub-freezing wind whipping through her jacket.

“That’s unfair, and you know it.” Annabeth crossed her arms, unsure if the pit forming her gut was going to lead to a violent outburst or sobs.

“All of this is unfair,” Percy snapped, gesturing between the two of them.

Annabeth was reaching her breaking point. She tried to snap back, but her voice was strained, on the brink of tears. “This is hurting me, Percy. We can’t keep this up.”

Percy softened at the obvious pain in her voice. “I don’t want you to hurt, Beth.”

And somehow, those words made it all hurt worse. Because here he was, swearing that he didn’t want to hurt her, but he was doing it anyway. Just as her father had done, just as Luke had done; and every single time those words were followed by her running away, giving up.

Annabeth could have leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder for warmth. Then, Percy would’ve wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed her head, and it all would've been alright. They would’ve been alright. But, that’s not what Annabeth did.

Just as Annabeth had suspected, all the pain and confusion from the past few weeks finally broke through in the form of pure unadulterated resentment.

“You say that, but you keep hurting me Percy! First Rachel, then you disappear and find a home in Camp Jupiter, then the Akhlys, and now this.” Annabeth didn’t have control over her words anymore, she wasn’t thinking rationally. “The way you’re shutting me out, it reminds me so much of Luke. You’re so much like him, you know. I can’t do that again.”

“I-’ Percy was stunned, the hurt spreading across his face. Annabeth knew she had gone too far; Percy was nothing like Luke, but she couldn’t take it back. She knew that compression would gnaw away at Percy’s heart for years. And based on nothing but pure adrenaline, he lashed back in anger. “You’re fucking delusional.”

Maybe, just maybe if he hadn’t said that, they could’ve been spared from this end. But honestly, Annabeth’s beaten heart was set.

“I can’t do this anymore.” She stood from the bench, stiff and cold. She could feel the tears burning in the back of her eyes, but she wouldn’t let them fall yet.

Percy, sobered from these words, stood up as well. “Wait, what are you saying?” His voice quivered. He was clearly trying to keep his tears at bay, too.

“I’m saying leave me alone, please.” Annabeth turned her back to him and started rushing back towards the gates.

“Beth, wait,” Percy quickly caught up to her and grabbed her wrist, forcing her to look at him. “You can’t mean that,” he pleaded.

Annabeth softened at the look on his face, but she didn’t relent. “I’m not sure, I-” Her tears started to fall. “Just give me some time. I think it’s best if we take some time apart.”

Percy’s face was tear streaked, too. When he had started crying, Annabeth wasn’t sure. “O-okay,” he struggled to get out. “Can I still text you, at least.”

“Sure,” Annabeth sniffled. “I have homework to get back too. You’ll text me when you get home?”

“Yeah.” And hesitantly, before turning to go, Percy’s voice quivered as he said, “I love you.”

Annabeth didn’t hesitate before saying, “I love you too, Percy.”

And it was completely true, which made watching Percy walk away all the more difficult. She knew she loved him, but it hurt too much to be with him. Annabeth knew this was the right thing to do, but why did it have to feel entirely wrong?

---

A whole week crawled by and it still felt entirely wrong. During the school week, Annabeth had been able to busy herself with school work, but now it was Friday evening and school had just wrapped up for Winter break, and Annabeth had nothing to do but sit in her bed and think.

The majority of her mortal friends weren’t leaving campus until tomorrow, so if she truly wanted a distraction she could’ve hung out with them. A break up was a problem that her mortal friends would understand, but she didn’t want them to understand. The word ‘break up’ alone made her stomach lurch.

Because, despite all her intelligence, Annabeth wasn’t completely sure how things stood between her and Percy. They still texted at least once a day to make sure no detrimental monster attack had taken place, and that didn’t seem like a very ‘broken up’ thing to do. Then again, she hadn’t kissed him in a week, she hadn’t heard his voice in a week, she hadn’t held his hand in a week, she hadn’t even seen his face in a week; and that all seemed to point towards them being broken up.

Annabeth believed wholeheartedly that her and Percy would always find their way back to each other, but right now she couldn’t see the path.

For years, Annabeth would’ve killed to have more ‘mortal problems’. She was only eight years old when she first fantasized about draining all the ichor and godly heritage from her blood, taking with it all the pressure she felt. Every time she was given the chance to attend a mortal school and interact with normal humans, she would attempt to lose herself in it, because the loads of homework and the relationship drama seemed a slight price to pay to escape the hefty weight of the word that often rested upon her shoulders. Percy and Annabeth had agreed that the normalcy looked angelic, so they ran towards it hand in hand.

Now, Annabeth thought it must have all been a mirage. Because the wonderland they had raced toward faded into the barren wasteland of Annabeth’s dorm room. And Percy had ended up in his own desolately imitated paradise. The rain cloud that Annabeth thought she was leaving behind had followed her, drenching her unrelentingly. And perhaps, Annabeth thought, that was their problem all along. They were trying so hard to bask in the sunlight when they should’ve been buying umbrellas. For so long, Percy and Annabeth had been grasping at the morning light, when all along they could’ve felt content sitting in the dark together.

From there, Annabeth began to piece the puzzle together; and the picture, while choppy, was clear. As much as it pained Annabeth’s pride to admit it, her fault in the breakup became more obvious. While Percy had undeniably been shutting her out, she had also been sprinting ahead. She had been skipping out on meals, trying to gain a sense of control. She had let herself become consumed with schoolwork and routines, trying to ignore the pain she felt. She had reverted back to her childhood self in ways much worse than she thought. Annabeth had actively been running away; and worst of all, she was trying to force Percy to move at the same speed as her.

Percy had most definitely been acting shitty the past few weeks, but Annabeth had been too. All this time that she thought she was trying to talk about tartarus, she had really been trying to get it over with, just so she could pack it away, just as she had done with all of her other feelings.

It seemed she could no longer be mad at Percy for locking his feelings away from her when she had locked her own away from herself as well.

And for once, Annabeth wasn’t mad. She was sad and hurt, but she wasn’t mad, and that seemed like an excellent starting place.

So, she pulled out her phone and texted Percy to ask if she could go by his apartment later that evening. Now, Annabeth was determined to stop her sprint before she fell over the edge again.

---

It should’ve come as no surprise that Percy responded immediately, telling her of course she could come over, but it surprised Annabeth nonetheless. She wasn’t used to people waiting on her to come back after she ran away.

So just before sundown on Saturday evening, Annabeth bundled up and started her trek down Manhattan. Despite the temperature reading five degrees colder than it had been eight days ago, Annabeth swore to the gods that it felt warmer. But that could've been because she knew that with every crunch of snow beneath her boots, she was getting closer to Percy.

Annabeth wasn’t sure if it had been a conscious decision or not to speed up, but when she realized she was full on jogging down fifth avenue, she didn’t slow down. The ice around her heart began to thaw, the epiphany that she was finally running towards something settling in.

She busied herself with rehearsing lines in her head, preparing what she’d say to him, but nothing seemed right. Annabeth figured that was better, anyway. This was a situation that she couldn’t rely on her mind to get her through.

When she made the final turn, she rushed into his building and up the stairs. She only hesitated when she got to his door, her fist lingering in front of the door, but not making contact. But for once, this hesitation wasn’t born from fear but instead anticipation.

Finally, she rapped her fist on the door, and Percy swung it open almost immediately, as if he’d been waiting right next to the door for her. It had only been a day more than a week once she last saw him- Annabeth had gone months without seeing him in the past- but she still marveled at the fact of being reunited with him. He stood two inches taller than her, and he was bouncing on the heels of his feet. His black was tousled and swept across his forehead, a few centimetres away from getting in his sea green eyes. His face lit up at the sight of her, clearly drinking her presence as well.

“Hey,” she greeted after a moment of silence, offering something in between a wave and a salute. “Can I come in?”

Percy’s eyes snapped up to hers and he smiled sheepishly, as he had forgotten how to speak, caught up in the awfully anxious, yet somehow wonderful, tension flowing between them. “Sorry, yeah, come in.” He stepped aside and Annabeth entered the apartment.

The first thing she noticed upon her entry was the pleasant warmth encompassing the room, the perfect counter to the raging New England December outside. The heating unit in their building had been faulty for as long as she’d known Percy, but the Jackson apartment was perfectly temperate. She sighed, a slight smile spreading across her face as she slid her jacket off and hung it up on the coat rack. Annabeth allowed her eyes to shut for a moment, her back still to Percy, as she tried to recall the last time she felt this warm, this comfortable.

The sound of Percy’s footsteps on the hardwood floor spurred Annabeth from her pondering. She reopened her eyes just as he came to stand in front of her; and once again, Annabeth took everything in. Percy was dressed in his swim team sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, which was entirely ordinary for him, but the bags under his eyes revealed that the past week had not been easy on him either. In the living room, the curtains had been drawn, but the subtle whooshing of the wind could still be heard. The TV was on, playing some old game show rerun that Annabeth didn’t recognize, but as far as she could tell, the rest of the apartment was empty.

“Are you the only one home?” Annabeth inquired, raising an eyebrow. She wasn’t sure what she’d prefer. She loved Sally as if she was her own mother and had missed her almost as much as Percy in the past week. But, Sally was Percy’s mother, and Annabeth had broken up with Percy. Realistically, Annabeth knew Sally wouldn’t hold that against her, but she was sure that seeing Percy upset hadn’t raised Sally’s opinion of her.

“Yep. Mom and Paul are at birthing class.”

“Oh,” was all Annabeth said. She was as interested in the miraculous mechanics of childbirth and the woman’s body as the next person, but that wasn’t why she was here. She was on a mission, and the sooner she completed that mission, the better.

Annabeth walked around Percy to head to the kitchen. He stared at her, confused, for a brief moment before he caught sight of her taking a seat on a kitchen island stool. He hurried to join her, leaning on the kitchen counter across from her. Try as she might, Annabeth's eyes dropped to look at his forearms as they supported the weight of his body. When she finally forced herself to meet his gaze once again she could see he was attempting to hide a smirk, proving he had noticed her staring. Annabeth couldn’t stop the flush from invading her cheeks and she supposed that this was as good a start as any.

“So,” Annabeth cleared her throat.

Then, simultaneously, they both said, “I’m sorry.”

For the first time in weeks Annabeth laughed, actually laughed, and Percy smiled. Nothing had been settled yet, but she could already feel the weight being lifted from her back. She had a feeling things were gonna be okay.

“I’ll go first,” Annabeth decided. She needed to get all these words out before she could run away again. It was just an added benefit that Percy’s face lit up, his lips quirking up thankfully. Usually, she liked to make things purposely difficult for him, but this time Annabeth was happy to take the lead.

“So,” Annabeth took a deep breath, preparing to completely spill everything that had been building up inside her mind. “Let me just start off by saying I’m sorry. You’re right, I was being delusional.”

Percy was quick to cut her off, guilt washing over his face.“Beth, no. I didn’t mean-”

“Perce,” Annabeth smiled fondly. Now that he was here, right across the counter from her, his beautiful face contorted with worry as he rushed to assure her, Annabeth couldn’t remember how she had ever been mad at him. She had been delusional. “Let me finish.”

Percy nodded, walking around the counter to take a seat on a bar-stool next to her.

“I’ve been acting dumb, which you can understand is very hard for me to admit, but it’s true. Back in August, I shouldn’t have shut you down. We should’ve talked about tartarus, the war, everything; this probably wouldn’t be happening if we had. I guess I’m kind of a coward.”

Percy stiffened next to her, clearly wanting to protest, but he didn’t; possibly because he was still trying to tread lightly around Annabeth, but besides the reason, she was grateful that he didn’t. If he had interrupted her, she might’ve lost the courage to bear her heart to him; furthering proving that she was a coward.

“And you shouldn’t have been so aloof this past month, but I’m starting to understand why you were. I mean, it’d be pretty hypocritical of me not to.” Annabeth shifted her eyes to her lap, her right hand subconsciously toying with one of the beads on her camp necklace.

“No, you’re right I-”

This time, Annabeth cut him off by moving her hand to place it on top of Percy’s. He glanced up at her with wide, hopeful eyes and Annabeth’s heart melted on the spot. Even such a small display of physical affection was enough for Percy’s shoulders to relax, unadulterated and earnest happiness written all over his face. Annabeth had to break eye contact so she couldn’t get distracted from her monologue, but not this time from her cowardice.

“I haven't been very open either. I mean, I have nightmares basically every night, and I’ve never said anything. And I haven't really been eating. Gods, I haven’t really been able to do anything for-”

She was on the verge of tears, and Percy noticed immediately. “Annabeth,” he said, voice soft as he brought his arm up to wrap it around her shoulders. “You don’t have to tell-”

“No!” It came out harsher than she had wanted it to and Percy flinched away, his arm retreating. She silently mourned the loss of the potential embrace, but soldiered on nonetheless. “That’s the problem with us, Percy. We-” Annabeth, usually articulate, stumbled over her words. She slammed her palm on the counter and tried again, this time with a more level tone. “I guess you’re right, I don’t have to tell you anything, Perce, but I want to. And if we’re going to last, we have to want to tell each other things.”

Percy’s voice was uncharacteristically low as he whispered, “I want us to last.”

He looked so adorably timid that Annabeth couldn’t resist reaching over and squeezing his hand. “So do I, and I want to tell you how I’m feeling.”

This time, Percy didn’t say anything. He just reached over and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her into his side, and it immediately gave her the strength she so desperately needed.

“I think,” Annabeth began, “I’ve been trying so hard to get over all my pain. I mean, I want to get over my pain without ever having to feel it, if that makes sense.”

“That might be the most sense you’ve ever made, Wise Girl,” Percy joked, and of course, Annabeth had to bite her lip to prevent herself from toppling over laughter. She really had to get through this, no distractions.

“There was Luke, and then you went missing, and then the Mark of Athena, tartarus, Gaea- it never stopped. I never had a moment to really think, you know, and now I have too much time. It feels like I’m holding the sky again, and the only way I know how to solve my problems is to circumvent them. I’ve been running away, trying to throw myself into this ideal of a normal life to distract myself, and I guess pain wasn’t a part of that life I was trying to live. And I-”

Annabeth froze, a particular epiphany cutting her to the bone. She had been caught in headlights.

Percy picked up on the way Annabeth tensed, and he lightly nudged her with his shoulder. “And what?”

“And I think I’ve been pushing you so hard to open up because seeing you in pain reminds me of mine and how un-okay everything is. Almost as if I saw you as a problem I had to solve” Annabeth knew it was an awful realization as soon as she thought it, but hearing it out loud made it seem a thousand times worse. “Gods, that sounds terrible, I’m so sorry-”

“You can stop apologizing, I get it. I’ve been pretty shitty too.”

Annabeth didn’t protest, it was Percy’s turn to talk to talk after all.

“The way I’ve been shutting you out and ignoring your questions, it wasn’t cool of me. You deserve to know how I’m doing, even when I’m not doing well.” Percy sighed, “And you shouldn’t blame yourself for not telling me all this when I’ve been completely closing off every time you tried.”

Annabeth chuckled halfheartedly. “I guess that’s true.”

“Hey,” Percy pouted. “No interrupting. It’s my turn to talk.”

Annabeth giggled wholeheartedly. It was amazing how he could always make her feel so jovial even in the worst of times.

And even more miraculously, Percy’s face turned entirely serious again as he said, “I just hope you know that you can tell me these things. I am here for you, even when it seems like I’m not.”

If he had asked her that yesterday, her answer might’ve been different, but now she smiled and said, “I know, Percy.”

His face expressed relief as he said with a breathy voice, “good.” Then he scooted over on his stool so he could get a better look at her as he ran a hair through his already messy hair. “I guess this means, ya know-”

Oh, Annabeth did know. She was all too familiar with the way his voice trailed off; she knew exactly how he felt, the way the words were caught in his throat as he was unable to piece them together. Annabeth despised seeing him struggle like this and she wanted nothing more than to cut him off, tell him didn’t have to share what he didn’t want to, but he did have to. Or at least, he had to want to.

Instead, she offered him the next best thing. She brought a delicate hand up to cup his face. Annabeth ran her thumb across his cheek before dropping it to grab ahold of his hand, never once straying her steady, gray eyes from his. “Take your time,” she whispered.

Percy wasn’t going to remain closed off and Annabeth wasn't going to keep running.

After a comfortable moment of empty silence, Percy spoke. “The nightmares, even though the situation or setting changes, they all have the same ending- I lose you. Sometimes to death, sometimes.. sometimes it’s worse than death.”

Lose a love to a fate worse than death. The old prophecy lines flickered in her head, transporting her back to her time in the labyrinth. The moment she was first confronted with the idea that she had lost Luke to such a tragic fate and she couldn’t save him from it. Annabeth’s heart ached for Percy. He didn’t deserve to feel like that alone. They needed to share that burden. “Please,” she softly urged. “You can tell me.”

“In those dreams, I’ve seen you join Kronos' army, run away with Luke. I've dreamed that you never found me at Camp Jupiter and we were never reunited. But the worst one…” Percy closed his eyes, as if he couldn’t look at her as he said it. “In Tartarus, I didn’t stop. I killed Akhlys and you tried to run away from me. I- I couldn’t control myself and I- remember seeing your blood all over me.”

“Gods,” was all Annabeth was able to say, her eyes blown wide in horror.

Percy looked up at her, an equal amount of turmoil painted on his face. “It was just a nightmare! I’d never hurt you like that,” he rushed to assure her, mistaking the fear on her face as being directed towards him.

“Of course not, Percy.” Annabeth’s voice was fierce as she took his face in her hands. “I have never trusted anyone more than I trust you. You are the only person who has stayed with me through the dark.”

Annabeth let go of his face and brought her hands down, keeping them pressed firmly on her thighs, grounding herself to the stool beneath her. With a deep inhale, she continued. “Things are always going to be messy for us, and I’m okay with that. As long as we both promise to not keep these things so bottled up that we explode again.”

A hint of a smile graced Percy’s face. “I promise.”

“I promise,” Annabeth echoed.

Percy raised an expectant eyebrow. “So...”

“So?”

“So, what happens now?” Percy clarified

Annabeth shot him a crooked smile. Always a seaweed brain, she thought endearingly. “Well,” she began, reaching across the gap between them to reunite their hands. “It’s clear we still have some problems to work out, but we have a solution now, don’t we?”

She had meant it to be rhetorical, but Percy answered anyway. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“And what would that solution be, again?” Annabeth was only teasing with her inquiries, but somewhere deep in her subconscious, she did want the reassurance of hearing Percy repeat the plan back to her, just to be sure.

“We’re gonna help each other through all the nightmares and trauma and not fun stuff, not hide it from the other.”

“Mmm, sounds like a good plan. Who came up with it?”

Once again, Annabeth had intended for it to be a rhetorical question, but Percy flashed her what with someone who didn’t know him as well as she did might’ve classified as a ‘trouble-maker' smile and said, “the smartest person I know.”

Annabeth really did try to keep her composure, but she couldn’t hide the effect of his words. For the smartest person he knew, she sure did blush a lot.

Percy, always oblivious, didn’t seem to be aware of the fact that he had made her completely lose her wits. He leaned forward, his playful tone turning more serious, and asked, “I know things have been rough between us, and know we were kinda broken up, and honestly, I’m not sure where we go from here. I wanna know what you think, Wise Girl?”

As a daughter of Athena, Annabeth valued the importance of the spoken word as much as she did talent with a sword. The best of warriors were as diplomatic as they were aggressive. But even so, Annabeth could recognize when action was necessary- and her and Percy had talked enough in her opinion. So in lieu of an answer, she surged forward and brought her lips to his.

Percy, caught off guard, didn’t respond to her kiss at first. After a short moment, Annabeth slowly inched away, once again creating space between them, and this loss of Annabeth’s warm face pressed to his was what finally spurred him into action. He braced his hand in her curly, blonde hair and pulled her into another kiss. The feeling of his lips moving against hers was almost enough for Annabeth to burst into tears. It had only been a week since they had last seen each other, but it simultaneously felt like they had been both apart for years and never left one another at all. Annabeth was stuck somewhere between complete cardiac arrest and utter serenity. It felt as if the entire world had faded away, but Percy was the world.

And mentally, while Percy kissed her in the desolate kitchen of his Manhattan apartment, Annabeth revised her earlier revelation. Her life was not the greatest oxymoron, her love for Percy was. Never before had she known it was possible to feel so hopelessly heartbroken and astonishingly in love at the same time, until she had been wrapped in Percy’s embrace. Never before had she known it was possible to feel so illuminated in a dark apartment, yet here she was.

When they finally broke the kiss, pulling away only when the necessity for air became too much to ignore, an unspoken understanding passed between them. They were going to be okay.

“Mom made some blue cookies yesterday. There are some still in the fridge. We could heat them up and watch a movie?”

Percy didn’t outwardly say it, but Annabeth understood that this was his indirect, seaweed brain way of inviting her back into his life. And while she had admittedly not been gone for very long, she was eager to return.

“Sounds perfect.”

The next hour found Percy and Annabeth curled up on the Jackson’s living room couch half way through Tangled, a now empty plate that had once held cookies discarded on the coffee table in front of them. The room was completely dark, minus the flickers of light coming from the TV. Percy was half asleep, his head lolling on her shoulder, and Annabeth could feel her own eyelids growing heavy.

She smiled, feeling so perfectly content that tears sprang to her eyes. She wiped them away, and rested her head on top of Percy’s.

Annabeth knew if they fell asleep like this they’d both wake up with sore necks, but she was so comfortable that she couldn’t find it herself to care. They could deal with that pain when it came, right now, Annabeth was going to sit next to Percy in the dark, completely and wondrously in love.