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In the books that Atsushi readed, love sounded like something beautiful. For the little albino having a person who chose to be by your side through thick and thin was incredible. The idea that someone would love him, that there would be someone in the world who would choose him out of all people to care for and cherish him, made his days at the orphanage less hopeless.
Unfortunately the reality was not so. Late he realized that those tender love stories couldn't be compared to the painful reality.
Love for Atsushi was ...
"Ah-Akutagawa, n-no, slow down ..." The younger asked, his legs numb from being so many rounds on the older's shoulders. The love the albino had come to know was through purple marks on his skin, nails leaving crimson trails on the opposite back, and lips swollen and bruised from the uncaring bites of the raven staring at him with contempt.
"Shut up, Jinko." He whispered into the albino's ear, biting hard on the younger man's sensitive spot. "You're going to take everything I give you. Understand?" Atsushi knew what would happen if he surrendered himself to the older man's cruel arms. And yet he opened his body and soul for the contrary's use and pleasure, seeking that impossible storybook love, knowing that Akutagawa would never love him.
"Y-yes ..." And yet, as painful and twisted as it was, Atsushi loved him. He loved the way the older one lost his mind every time his bodies merged into one being, seeking his own pleasure and not the common one. He loved how he felt free in the arms of the raven, being able to let out all the wishes and desires of him without fear of hurting his partner with the tiger by accident. He loved Akutagawa and he loved being his, just at night, just for the carnal pleasure that burned in his blood, but his. He loved to be loved even if it was a lie.
"Good kitty." The black-haired man smiled crookedly and, God, Atsushi shouldn't find that hot but there it was. He could barely stay coherent, the older's cock filling him in all the right places while the raven licked and nibbled on all the tender spots of the youngest that he come to know over the course of their sexual encounters.
"A-Akutagawa ... I ...-" Atsushi could feel the beginning of his orgasm form in the lower part of his stomach, like the butterflies that normal people feel when they fall in love. It was so ironic that he could almost cry if the older had not squeezed his member, preventing him from reaching that longed-for ecstasy. "Akutagawa!"
"Who gave you permission to come, Jinko?" The man growled, biting his neck until it bled, eliciting a painful moan from the young man beneath him. "We're just getting started, kitty. It's still several hours until the sun comes up." He licked the wound in an almost affectionate way, as if it were an apology, but Atsushi knew better than to fall in love with those acts of mercy shown to the contrary.
"Akutagawa, p-please ..." he pressed his legs even more against the pale body above him, trying to bring that man even closer to the point of debauchery of him, drawing a sigh of appreciation that should not have been warmed the albino's heart. "Please, I'll be nice, just ... l-let me ...-" He couldn't finish pleading pathetically when the raven increased his thrusts, his penis abusing that red and swollen hole from the long hours that it had been used for the carnal hunger of the mafioso. Now the youngest felt that he was going to explode, his body burned in places that he didn't know he possess, tears and saliva wet his face, barely aware of the touches and bites of the eldest who used him only for his desire and pleasure.
In his state of lust and longing, the albino couldn't hear how the raven murmured between his skin marked by love bites a constant "mine, mine, mine."
"J-just a little bit more, Jinko ..." At that point, the older man could barely keep his sanity too, the tight albino hole prompting him to sink into its temporary warmth, seeking a false sense of love and belonged to the younger that only wanted him. For one night, that majestic tiger was his to devour and love at will until the sun rose and they left the room as two enemies who hated each other.
"I-I can't, Aku ...-" The youngest was crying with pleasure now, his arms were trying to bring the raven even closer, too closer, just as two lovers would be on their wedding night. The pain and sadness disappeared from the albino's mind, leaving only the latent desire in his veins for that man on his body as the only sensation that mattered. Risking being bitten by the older man, he kissed the mouth he loved so much, waiting and dreading the moment when his bodies would melt into one, only to be separated at sunrise.
To his surprise, the opossite didn't bite him, but enthusiastically received the touch of the opposite lips and returned that kiss with fervor. "I love you, I love you, I love you" their hearts cried, seeking to beat at the same rhythm, but fleeing from that beautiful and terrifying feeling.
Atsushi could see the sun rising through the window, the clock ticking every minute they had left of that meeting that united them, and the albino could only wish he were not so cowardly this time and say, at last, those words that hurt his heart.
"Atsushi, I-I ..." Just like on the battlefield, there was no need to say more words. His bodies are perfectly synchronized both fighting against others, against themselves or in the bedroom at the light of the moon.
Their moans sounded as one as their bodies reached their long-awaited climax, with their gasps the only sound in that gloomy room and Atsushi finally realized it. People always said that "opposites attract" and it was like that. Like poles repel, but opposite poles attract.
And he and Akutagawa were poles alike.
Now the boy's breathless laugh was the only sound in the room, much to the raven's dismay. Had he fucked him so hard that he totally lost his sanity?
"Jinko ...?" He had to ask, the older one concerned since now the young man in his arms had started to cry and those tears were no longer for pleasure. For a moment Akutagawa feared that he hurt him in his state of lust and desire, taking no consideration of the fragile body of the other assuming that the strong tiger man would not be hurt by his dirty hands. In a state of panic that his face could not show, he looked for any injury that the youngest might have, while the other had reached a conclusion. "Jinko what ...- ?!" The albino was looking at him now, taking his face gently as a painful smile appeared on that beautiful face.
"We are a couple of fools." Atsushi laughed and before the older man could ask or even reply, he said that feeling that he had kept deep in his heart, fearing to be rejected. "Ryuunosuke, I love you." At last he let out those words that he had wanted so much to hear for most of his life. There was no use hiding his feelings for the mafioso now; it would only bring more pain to have that body at night and cruel words during the day. Atsushi waited patiently for the raven to come out of his shock. "Well? What's your answer ...?" He asked with fear of rejection, but with weak hope blossoming as he didn't receive an instant rejection from the other side.
"My answer...?" The older man carefully wiped the tears from the beautiful eyes of the albino he adored so much. "My answer is that if you say 'Ryuunosuke' one more time I won't let you leave this room until the sun goes down." He sentenced on the younger boy's lips, drawing a satisfied sigh from him.
He barely removed his mouth from the tempting opposite lips a challenging smile appeared on that desired mouth. "Ryuunosuke." It was the last coherent word that the agent said that day because the mafioso was a man who keeps his promises and didn't release him until sunset.
And he would never let him go again.