Chapter Text
Taehyung and Jungkook have been partners in crime since the beginning of time. It all started when Jungkook saw a new kid outside the classroom, too nervous to even enter or say hi. Jungkook approached him, and they introduced each other. Taehyung said he just moved to Seoul. Jungkook acts by his instinct and holds his hand to stop them from shaking. The act is so simple, but he doesn’t know much it meant to Taehyung. Jungkook said that it won’t be scary if they do it together. From then on Taehyung promised that he’ll do the same and support Jungkook.
They know each other so well just by the sound of their breathing. They are opposites, and at the same time truly the same, almost like one person with different names. Taehyung's forte is in art and music, while Jungkook is in Math. He still likes drawing, though. Taehyung can't handle spicy food, so Jungkook eats it for him.
Jungkook is sensitive to smells, so Taehyung makes sure that everything is clean and comfortable. Taehyung is afraid of heights, and Jungkook will be there for him to gaze upon. Jungkook can't sleep at night, so Taehyung sings for him. Taehyung needs to hug someone, so Jungkook becomes his little spoon to cuddle. Taehyung has shaky hands, and Jungkook doesn't waste a second to hold them and calm him.
Taehyung is more than a year older than him, he always brings it up, but they are in the same grade. Throughout high school, they got teased a lot because they were always together. They laughed and shrugged it off. Even going to prom and the senior ball together because they said, " Hey, we both don’t have dates, let’s just go together as besties". It was never awkward for them.
They used to tell each other everything, but many things have changed. Jungkook now has a secret or two. He started keeping things from Taehyung, like how his stomach flips every time Taehyung lips turn heart-shaped when he smiles. How he feels dizzy every time Taehyung calls him baby even though this isn't something new. He also doesn't mention how insanely hot Taehyung became throughout the break. They only spent like four weeks apart. Taehyung went on a vacation with his family, and he came back covered in tan lines and toned as he worked out throughout the summer.
It’s the little things that make Jungkook’s heart skip a beat. How Taehyung touches his arm, holds his waist, and how he reaches for his hands every time he feels nervous or even if he’s just bored. It makes Jungkook feel important. Taehyung makes him feel special. Jungkook always tells people that Taehyung is just like that to everyone else. But deep down, he hopes not. He likes to think that he is special to Taehyung too.
Taehyung and Jungkook are both geeks. They watch the same shows and weep like babies when their favourite characters die or get hurt. At least they have each other's shoulders to cry on. Fun fact #1 about Taehyung is that he dyes his hair every time he faces a crisis or a minor inconvenience. Not so fun fact about Jungkook is that he has never dyed his hair. Although, he started getting tattoos to cope with life, balance.
***
Now they are going to the same university too. Jungkook is an accounting major, while Taehyung is a music major. At the beginning of the year, before they started classes, Taehyung applied to Hit Ent to fulfill his rockstar dreams. He sent his application, and after a while, they sent him an email scheduling his audition. He rushes to Jungkook’s house to tell him the news. Jungkook’s mom lets him inside since he’s practically there every day anyway.
“Kookie!!!” He knocks on Jungkook’s bedroom. The boy opens the bedroom, and he’s in comfortable clothes, with a bare face, and his hair is still damp, obviously just coming from the shower.
Jungkook widens his eyes. He’s not ready to get visitors. He’s torn between thinking it's just Taehyung and it’s Taehyung! “Taehyung?”
“I was calling you,” Taehyung says, almost out of breath, panting because he ran to Jungkook’s house from his house. His eyes are bright and filled with excitement.
Jungkook puts himself together. “Sorry, I was getting ready. What’s up?”
“They called me back for auditions.” Taehyung shows Jungkook his phone with the email. The younger one checks and reads it.
“Oh my god! Tae, that's amazing.” Jungkook hugs him. Taehyung embraces him back, going for his neck and shoulder, squishing him on his arms. Taehyung feels so happy about the news, and he likes sharing everything first with Jungkook. He’s not sure if he will get in, but this is the first step.
***
Two weeks later.
There they are, sitting in the waiting room of the auditions. Taehyung is way too silent that it worries Jungkook that he might show it in his audition. Jungkook asks with concern in his voice, “Are you nervous?”
Taehyung shrugs. “Nope, Kookie, why would I be?” He can deny it all he wants, but even with his eyes closed, Jungkook knows him more than anyone else.
Jungkook stares at him and notices his hands. “Tae, your hands are shaking.” He grabs Taehyung’s hands firmly and squeezes them. Taehyung relaxes at the touch. Jungkook holds it for a while or maybe a long time. Who’s counting right?
“Don’t be nervous. I know you’ll do well. You already practiced enough, and I liked your piece.” Taehyung doesn’t seem convinced, so Jungkook keeps going, “Come on, I’ll buy you hot chocolate later!”
Taehyung laughs, finding his best friend so adorable. “Okay, Kookie.”
Taehyung already let go of the other grip while Jungkook still tugs at his other hand, squishing and massaging it. He moves his thumb and traces Taehyung’s hand. Taehyung’s hands stopped shaking for a while now, but Jungkook doesn’t want to let go.
“Jungkook?”
“Mhm.” Jungkook holds him tighter.
“Kookie, baby , I’m fine. You can stop holding me now.” Taehyung thinks if Jungkook keeps holding him like this, he might actually fall. Or maybe it's a little too late for that.
“You will shake again once I let go.” Jungkook pouts, and Taehyung thinks he's adorable.
“No, I won’t.” He shakes his hand, trying to move away, but Jungkook threatens to bite him.
“Jungkook, stop.” Taehyung laughs and shrieks away. Jungkook places a gentle kiss on his hand instead. Taehyung can’t lie that the soft kiss made his heart skip a beat. So he relaxes and allows Jungkook to hold him.
Someone enters the waiting room and announces, “Kim Taehyung, you’re next.”
Jungkook finally let go of his hand. “Good luck, Hyung!”
“Okay, thanks, yeah,” Taehyung mumbles. He pretends he’s not feeling any worry in him.
Taehyung is heading to the main area, but he turns around and calls him, “Kookie.”
Jungkook widens his starry round eyes and asks, “Yes?”
“I love you.” The words roll off Taehyung’s tongue easily.
“I love you too, Tae!”
Jungkook smiles, and that’s the only good luck charm that Taehyung needs. The audition went pretty well, and it was more comfortable than Taehyung expected. He performed in a panel, and they said they will get back at him for the results.
***
Now that they are in college, a lot of things have changed. Starting with Taehyung's hair, he dyed it blonde because, as he says, "New place, new me." Jungkook will miss his natural dark hair colour, but blonde suits him too. Meanwhile, Jungkook got an undercut and declares that he’ll grow it out into long hair.
They have different classes and different friends. People have drawn interest in Taehyung since he performed in a homecoming party. Taehyung is a bleach blonde boy with a red guitar, god-like features, and an angel voice; of course, he stood out. Despite his new friends, Taehyung has always included Jungkook in everything.
Although, sometimes, Jungkook still feels left out knowing Taehyung has many friends, while he has few. But he can’t stop Taehyung from shining, not when he’s born to be a rockstar, and Jungkook will always be his number one fan no matter what.
***
Taehyung still spends time with Jungkook in his dorm. He brought chicken and his red guitar, of course. The essentials to making Jungkook happy is to feed him and sing to him. Luckily for him, Taehyung is best at doing it.
Taehyung’s phone is buzzing with messages that he had to put on silent. Jungkook arches his eyebrow. “New admirers?”
Taehyung shakes his head. “Nope.”
Jungkook teases, “You have a lot.”
He hides his feelings because, yes, he’s happy for Taehyung. He deserves to be admired for his talent. He knows Taehyung will get signed soon and move on with his life. But thinking about it, Taehyung is slowly slipping away from him. He’s going to be busier soon. That’s life, but Jungkook is allowed to be sad about it when he spent most of his life with his best friend. The least he could do is enjoy the time they have left. Enjoy Taehyung's gentleness and touch.
Taehyung puts down his guitar and grabs Jungkook’s face instead to squish it. “Yeah, but they’re not like you, baby.” He doesn’t care one bit about them.
“Shut up.” He playful hits Taehyung’s hand so that he removes it.
“Ouch!” Taehyung shrieks in the sudden pain. “Pay respect to me. I'm your Hyung!”
Jungkook rolls his eyes. “You’re barely a year older than me.”
Taehyung pats his head. “Almost two.” He also says it to reason out why he does what he does. Jungkook thinks that’s the only reason why Taehyung babies him.
Taehyung changes the topic, “So you still want to learn how to play the guitar?” No one can say no to his face, and Taehyung is the best teacher ever.
Jungkook nods. “Sure.” He already has an idea about it, but Taehyung still teaches him the basics.
After an hour, they stopped jamming and just lay on the couch. Taehyung starts tracing Jungkook’s tattoos on his knuckles then on his hand.
Jungkook yawns but doesn’t stop him. “What are you doing?” Naturally, his hand fits on Taehyung's, which is slightly bigger than his. Taehyung’s free hand continues to trace the tattoos while holding him.
“My favourite tattoo," Taehyung mumbles while caressing the heart tattoo. He pauses and says, “Looks so pretty on you.” Jungkook swears it does something to him.
***
Right after class, he sees Taehyung in the hallway laughing with a pretty guy, full lips that’s hard not to remember with blonde hair too, and he's wearing pretty clothes and his Chelsea boots. He looks posh. He is smaller than them both, and as Jungkook approaches them, Taehyung suddenly says goodbye to his other friend. He places his arm around Jungkook’s shoulder as they walk away.
“Hey, who’s that?” Jungkook asks.
Taehyung pulls him towards the exit. “Oh, just my classmate. Let’s get food. I'm starving.”
He discovered that the guy tagging Taehyung on his posts is Park Jimin. He seems nice, outgoing, and friendly. He once said hello to Jungkook at a party. As the first few weeks of college went by, Jungkook felt like he was losing his best friend. Taehyung kept his distance from him by spending time with Jimin instead. Maybe it's because they’re both music majors. Maybe they just have a lot of projects together. Maybe he doesn’t want to be Jungkook’s best friend anymore because he’s too much of an introvert, and he's boring.
Another thing that Jungkook dislikes is when people find out that he and Taehyung are friends, then they suddenly start talking to him too. He doesn't know if they really want to be friends or they just want to because he has a bond with Taehyung.
Taehyung keeps performing at campus events. They all know he is gonna be a rockstar. He’s extremely talented, playing every type of instrument, and has a beautiful voice too. It’s hard not to like him.
Although a few people are genuine to Jungkook. Some keep dropping hints for Jungkook to set him up with Taehyung. For crying out loud, he is his own person. Somehow, this feels like high school all over again.
In the third week of college, Taehyung posts a thirst trap, quite literally. It is a picture of him obviously shirtless with his wet blonde hair as he just got out of the shower. He just captioned it with an emoji as a tease he is, the same emoji tattooed on Jungkook's hand, but that's not the point. The point is this makes things harder for Jungkook for several reasons:
- Taehyung is only getting more attractive each day. It’s not helping his sanity and well his heart.
- More people are asking for his help, just to get to know Taehyung
- Too many people replied to his tweet that it frustrates Jungkook. He does not know why (he knows exactly why).
They all want to date Taehyung when they could instead get to know him for being amazing, annoying, and all that he is. They don’t know Taehyung doesn’t like spicy food. They don’t know Taehyung forgets to wash up his dishes. They don’t know Taehyung hates mornings and whines about it the first two hours of the day. They don’t know he needs Jungkook to cuddle to sleep. They don’t know him as he does.
There are also rumours that Taehyung and Jimin are dating. Taehyung hasn’t said anything to him. But what if he is? Jungkook doesn’t think he would hide that. But at the same time, Jungkook has also hidden a lot of things from him. It makes him wonder what Taehyung doesn’t share with him.
Taehyung, later on, asked Jungkook about what he thought about a pic, and he shrugs it off and says, "Yeah, looks cool. I bet many people are DMing you right now." He adds the last part on purpose. It's better to act like he cares little about it than to share that he is beyond frustrated about everything that he wants to kick boxes and scream at his pillow.
***
Jungkook gave up. His feelings are only worsening by the day, and he can't even admit it to himself. So he busies himself with studies, those lectures and readings that he usually doesn’t pay attention to. He doesn't bother squeezing himself into Taehyung's new friends anymore because what's the point of trying, right? He doesn’t fit in with them.
He’s also too busy balancing accounts and writing on ledgers all day. Fucking Accounting. He doesn’t even know if he wants to continue studying this, but that’s for another story. At least this time, he isn’t thinking about Taehyung and his long list of admirers that bugs him.
He hangs out with Mingyu, Yugyeom, and the others instead. At least when he's with his friends, he won't think about Taehyung. Jungkook groans because God, Kim Taehyung is consuming all of his time. Then his phone buzzes, and once again, it’s his best friend.
___
Taehyungie hyung:
Jungkookie wanna hangout?
I'm bored and I miss you
JK:
Now?
Taehyungie hyung:
Yes
JK:
Oops sorry I can't
Taehyungie hyung:
Hey
Are you avoiding me?
JK:
What?
Taehyungie hyung:
we haven’t seen each other all week
JK:
noooo, I'm just doing something else
I'm out with Mingyu
Taehyungie hyung:
oh
okay
have fun then :)
I'm just gonna hangout with Jimin I guess
___
Jungkook groans while reading the text messages. He can’t believe it came to the point where his stupid feelings make him avoid his best friend. He wants to avoid him, but he feels guilty at the same time. So he focuses on doing his accounting homework while his friends are playing video games.
Mingyu asks, “Having Taehyung problems again?”
Yugyeom teases, “He has more problems than us in a relationship.”
“Shut up. You don’t major in accounting. You don't know real pain.” That’s Jungkook’s number one excuse for being stressed. They laugh and pass a pizza to him.
***
Then Jungkook's ultimate life crisis happened. No, he didn't go bald, but Taehyung dyed his hair red. It's a vibrant red . Jungkook’s mind races into different things. Code red. Literally red. Burning red. Anyone else with this hair colour who have looked stupid with it. But holy fuck, he still looks like the most handsome man in the world. How on earth did he pull that off? Well, easy Jungkook guesses that God has favourites, and Taehyung is number one in the list. The red hair makes his skin honey tan skin glow, and his eyes look sharper. He gasped yet said nothing because he literally couldn't speak. It feels like the air in his lungs was knocked out. All the words were caught up in his throat. He can't believe his eyes, Taehyung glows.
Taehyung curves his lips into that with that smile that looks like a heart that Jungkook is so so so weak for. "Hey, what do you think?"
You look so handsome, you idiot. You're driving me insane. It's annoying because you're the only constant in my life, and I am scared of everything.
He doesn't say that, though.
Jungkook tries his best not to stutter. "Hmm, looks alright. Looks good like you always do." He couldn't say his screaming thoughts about how Taehyung is the most beautiful and most attractive person he has ever seen.
But it feels like a crime not to say it out loud. So he does. "You look beautiful."
"Why, thank you." Taehyung has a smug look on his face. He knows he looks hot.
Taehyung noticed Jungkook's hair tied and didn't waste an opportunity to touch his half-ponytail. He mumbles, "Cute."
Did Taehyung just call him cute? Who cares he always does anyway. It’s probably nothing. Taehyung is being playful, and Jungkook doesn't say anything just because ugh he's thinking about too many things.
Taehyung casually brings up, "Hey, wanna go to this party on Friday with me?"
Jungkook doesn't think about it as much as parties that Taehyung frequently goes to. He already knows Taehyung will be equipped for that party, so he asks, "Okay, should I ask my friends too?"
Taehyung laughs and clarifies, "No, I meant. We should go together if you want?"
Jungkook agrees. "Oh, okay, Tae, sounds good!" After more moments of Taehyung squishing his cheeks and playing with his hair, they both have to go to class.
Taehyung waves goodbye and winks at him. The sunlight touches Taehyung's beautiful honey skin, and the wind blows on his hair like a slow-motion in romantic movies. Is it possible to be jealous of the sun for kissing Taehyung’s skin?
Jungkook can't stop staring as his best friend walks away. It's the moment he knew or the moment he admitted it, rather. Fuck, he likes Taehyung so bad. No wait, he established that long ago. Fuck, he is so in love with Taehyung. He knows he's down bad.
***
Days came by fast, and suddenly it's Friday, and they are heading to the party together. Jungkook saw a few people from his class, so he said hello. While Taehyung is talking to a tall guy with noticeable dimples. They met once or twice. He is one of Taehyung's friends that genuinely seems nice.
Jungkook stands there while they talk, and Taehyung immediately notices him, "This is Jungkookie, my baby. Jungkookie, this is Namjoon." The pet name makes his heart flip, although Taehyung has called him that a lot of times that he doesn't think anything of it.
He replies, "Yeah, we met before."
"Yes, we did." You know how the first month of college is, everyone tries to talk to everyone. Taehyung wraps his arm around Jungkook's shoulder.
Jimin approaches them, and everything is alright, but then Namjoon says, "Oh, I didn't know you guys are dating."
Jungkook blinks as the words register in his mind. Taehyung looks at him, and Jungkook knows that the shocked expression on his face is probably noticeable.
"No, we aren't." Taehyung denies it. "He's my best friend, and we grew up together." It's the truth, but it’s how he said it and in front of his friends too. Jungkook knew what he said was right then why does he feel so annoyed. This night just became awkward.
Namjoon nods. "Oh, cool, hey both of you join us, we're playing games." They play beer pong, cards and spin the bottle truth or dare
Jungkook drinks liquor until he feels his cheeks and his body warm. They are currently sitting down in a circle. Taehyung is beside him, and beside Taehyung is Jimin. The bottle spins, and it lands in his direction. Mark, a guy he just met tonight, asks, "Hey, Jungkook, is there anyone you like here?"
Jungkook tenses. He sips on his cup more, avoiding the question. "I choose dare."
Mark starts, “Okay, I dare you to kiss—” That's okay, he'd rather kiss anyone else in this circle than admit anything.
It seems like Taehyung already noticed the change in Jungkook's expression, so he interrupts him before the dare could even start. "Hey, excuse us for a bit." He grabs Jungkook’s hand and drags him out of the room.
Once they’re alone in the hallway. Jungkook is so confused that Taehyung just interrupted the game. “What?” Does he think Jungkook can’t do simple dares because he doesn’t go to parties often? Well, he’s absolutely r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ wrong.
Taehyung glances at his drink and mumbles, "You had enough. Let's go home."
Jungkook rolls his eyes. The same thought lingers in his mind, does Taehyung think he can’t handle his drinks? And why is this because he rarely goes out? He’s not that lame. "But we're having fun."
Taehyung shakes his head. "No, I'm not. There are a lot of people here. I can't even hear you. I just want to spend time with you, not with them."
Jungkook’s eyes immediately softened as Taehyung explains. "Okay."
Taehyung clings his arm around him as they walk back towards the dorms. Everything felt back to normal. Jungkook pushes himself back to Taehyung. He wishes he could always be this close with Taehyung.
As they walk, Taehyung starts a vague conversation, "I know things have been different. But I'm still the same. I'll always be here for you. You know that, right?" Jungkook knows what he means even without being specific.
Jungkook nods. "I know." He had his doubts, but deep down, he knows that Taehyung will always be there for him. It's always gonna be them together, even if they are apart.
Taehyung sighs. "Okay, good."
Jungkook mumbles, "Sorry, I kinda ruined your night."
Taehyung is quick to ask, "What are you talking about?"
Jungkook admits, "I drank too much, and you couldn't have fun with your friends." Earlier, he was full-on denial that he had enough. Now that he thinks about it a lot and how their time at the party was cut short.
Taehyung ruffles his hair, "It's always fun when I'm with you, baby."
Taehyung goes inside his dorm and helps him to go to bed. Once Jungkook is settled in, Taehyung stands up to leave. Jungkook quickly grabs his arm, “Hey, Tae. Can you stay over?”
Taehyung easily agrees, “Okay.”
Jungkook requests, “Cuddle?”
Taehyung complies with his wishes. “Okay, baby.” He gets inside the sheets to hug Jungkook as close as possible.
Jungkook declares the thought that he has been thinking about for a while now. “You’re going away soon, though.”
Taehyung doesn’t even deny it. “Hmm.”
Jungkook mumbles, "I miss you."
I'll miss you even more when you go away.
It's the truth, they haven't spent time together these days, and Jungkook can’t blame anyone but himself. He avoided Taehyung, and despite everything else new and foreign, somehow nothing has changed. Taehyung’s warmth hasn’t changed. His feelings for Taehyung haven't changed either. It's only growing deeper.
Taehyung grips on him tighter. "I missed you too."
On that night, while Taehyung's arms are around him, Jungkook realizes that Taehyung rarely says no to him. It makes his heart skip a beat once more. He is unsure about many things. But he is sure about one thing, Kim Taehyung is driving him insane.
***
The next couple of days felt refreshing. It's as if everything is back to normal. Jungkook doesn't doubt the strength of his friendship with Taehyung anymore. To the point that he's comfortable hanging out with Taehyung and his friends.
Jungkook notices that Taehyung is dressing more. He styles his hair more too. He can't pinpoint, but something about Taehyung changed. He catches Taehyung staring at his phone mirror for too long.
Jungkook teases, "Looking good today, Tae. Going somewhere?"
Taehyung asks, "You think I look good?"
Jungkook hums, "Hmm, maybe." He plays with Taehyung's hair to tease him more.
Taehyung gives him that sweet smile. "Then it worked."
Jungkook arches his eyebrow. "What worked?"
Taehyung laughs cheekily. "I'm trying to impress someone I like."
Jungkook shrugs it off then they head to the cafeteria. They were having a nice time, but then something happens that made Jungkook's heart drop.
Jimin points at the object near Taehyung. "Hey, babe. Can you pass that?"
Taehyung passes him the juice box impulsively.
"Thanks, babe." Jimin blows a kiss with his hand to Taehyung and focuses on drinking the juice. Jimin called Taehyung babe twice in front of him. Taehyung. His Taehyung. Well, technically not his.
Taehyung laughs. "Yeah, right. Anything for you." They are flirting in front of him. Thinking about it, Jimin and Taehyung have always been flirty. Has this been happening the whole time, and he just chose to ignore it until now?
Jungkook has read about heartbreaks and dramas a lot, but he never knew the sound of utensils and people chattering would be what his heartbreak would sound like. He panics, without a second thought, he rushes to get his things. He stands up and leaves the two of them.
"Hey, Kookie, where are you going?" He is sure he heard the sound of Taehyung's voice, but he's quick enough to leave the cafeteria. He moves as fast as he can to get away from them, to get away from Taehyung.
Jungkook tries his best to hold back his tears as he walks back to his dorm. As soon as he got there, he couldn't hold back the tears from dripping on his cheeks. He buries his face in the pillow and cries. He hates his life and everything. He hates his feelings and how much it hurts. Oh and he hates accounting too and curses it. He cries about everything worrying him and burdening him the past months.
Just when he thought he calmed down from crying, he gets a text from Taehyung.
Taehyungie hyung: 2 PM
jungkookie
hey are you okay?
why did you leave like that?
Taehyungie hyung: 3 PM
are you sick?
do you need anything?
I can come over baby
Taehyungie hyung: 6PM
Jungkook this can’t wait anymore
I have something important to tell you
let's meet tomorrow, please
__
Taehyung is probably gonna say that he's dating Jimin or something. Jungkook hates everything. He hates how Taehyung and Jimin were flirting in front of him. He hates how someone else is making Taehyung happy. He hates how Jimin is so nice that he can't even hate him. But most importantly, he hates himself. He blames himself the most for breaking all the rules in the universe. It's his fault for c̶r̶u̶s̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ falling for his best friend.
He screams into his pillow and throws away his phone. Then instantly regret it the next second. He hopes it's not broken. He cries more until his eyes and chest hurt. He falls asleep from exhaustion, dreading for tomorrow to come.