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The 17 Knussies

Summary:

Auralescent was sitting in his little twinkish onsie, with his 9 strands of hair tucked behind his ear, while in his cabin in the woods, when he heard a knock at the door....

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Auralescent was sitting in his little twinkish onesie, with his 9 strands of hair tucked behind his ear, while in his cabin in the woods, when he heard a knock at the door.

“C-can yo-you l-le-let me i-i-i-in?” a small 2ft3” voice called out.

“Who is it?” Auralescent called out, in a hot hunky way.

“I-it’s s-s-s-s-s-so c-c-cold out he-he-re,” the small voice said.

Auralescent got up off his cottagecore couch, hitting his head in the process, and walked over to the door with his 7ft3” body and opened the door to see a sexy gremlin with one, really long strand of hair in the middle of his head, in a cheerleading outfit.

“H-h-hello, can you l-let me i-in, it’s, o-o-o-oh, so c-c-c-old.” the gremlin said, aroused.

“Why hello there….” Auralescent shouted seductively. “Come right in babygirl.”

“T-t-thank you, s-s-sir.” the gremlin replied roguishly.

The gremlin walked in, and touched Auralsecent’s cottagecore calves with his long, 5ft6”, nailess, boneless, fingers. Auralescent smacked the gremlins ass and sent him flying across the room into Auralescent’s cottagecore Draco Malfoy statues.

“Ouchie sir!” the gremlin screeched in a sexy way. His little funny bone was broken.

“Do you see these statues, kitten?” Auralescent pointed with his index toe. “These statues are a tribute to you! I have loved you for years!”

“B-b-b-but sir! You’ve o-o-o-only known m-m-me f-f-f-or t-t-t-wo m-mi-min-minu-minut-minute-minutes!”

“I feel like I’ve known you for an eternity! Are you from Mississippi?” he asked, go tobannly.

“N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no?”

“‘Cause you’re the only miss who’s piss I sippie, babygirl.”

The gremlin came on the spot.

“O-o-o-o-o-oh s-s-s-s-s-sir!!!!!!”

“Call me daddy, babygirl.”

“B-b-b-b-but you’re n-n-n-n-n-not my father?”

“Did you ever have a father?”

“No……. I never had a d-d-d-daddy. My m-m-m-m-m-mommy was a coke head and w-w-w-w-when I t-t-t-t-tried to take it a-a-aw-away from her, she b-b-b-b-bonked me on the head!! That’s w-w-w-w-why I’m 2ft3”!”

Auralescent got a boner.

“Oh babygirl…. can sing me Fight Song by Rachel Platten?”

“O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ok.” The gremlin composed himself and started singing beautifully. “This is my fight song, take back my life song, prove I’m al-”

Auralsecent clenched his cheeks so hard, he fell over 7ft3”-ly. “That’s enough babygirl, I love you so much. Can you do fun stuff to my butt with those long fingers of yours babygirl?”

“Of course master.”

They fucked everywhere, on the cottagecore Draco Malfoy statues, on the cottagecore couch, on the cottagecore toilet, on the cottagecore floor, on the cottagecore curtains, on the cottagecore roof. Go tobann, there was a banging from underneath the floorboards.

“W-w-w-w-wait, sir.” The gremlin called out, 5ft6” deep in Auralscent’s belly button in the sink.

“Don’t mind the noises, kitten.” Auralescent drawled out like a tall glass of uisce.

“S-s-sir! P-p-please.”

The banging got louder and louder, until the floorboards burst open, and Ketchup-Smelling Mikey came out. Ketchup-Smelling Mikey, wearing a Hooters uniform with a dagger tucked in the short, short, shorts because he is BADASS.

“Oh g-g-g-gosh! Why d-d-d-does it sm-smell like ketchup in here?” the little gremlin asked.

“Hello,” the boy said in a monotone voice. “Stop!!!!” Ketchup-Smelling Mikey exclaimed, in his little 1ft6” body, his piercings tickling his butthole. “This man has been keeping us under his floorboards for a week!!!”

“U-u-u-u-ss??” the gremlin asked, suavely.

There was a chorus of sounds, and Señor Harshaa burst out.

“It is I! Señor Harshaa! Here to save the day with my excellent onion cutting skills!” A square, 2ftx2ft boy in a Tom Nook costume screamed murderously.

“M-m-m-m-m-m-m-master? W-w-w-w-w-w-what is t-t-t-t-this?” the little gremlin asked, removing his fingers from his belly button.

“Señor Harshaa and I have been trapped under the floorboards by Auralescent! We came here in search of some warmth, and we ended up having some sexy sexy times. Then he trapped us under here!!” Ketchup-Smelling Mikey exclaimed, his circular head with a rainbow afro perched atop swaying in the wind.

Auralescent finally spoke up. “I can explain kittens. I was testing you guys.”

“You were testing us? Oh, that’s ok!” Señor Harshaa said, like the bad boy he is.

“What!!! You putting us under your floorboards for a week was a test!??!?!? Fuck you master!!” Ketchup-Smelling Mikey exclaimed angrily, his clit piercing pinching a nerve in his asshole. Ketchup-Smelling Mikey began kicking Auralescent’s ankles.

“I’m quite glad to be out of there, because it smelled very much like ketchup and it was very uncomfortable, I would’ve much rather it smell like onions, as I love onions!” Señor Harshaa said.

Ketchup-Smelling Mikey stopped having his temper tantrum and turned around to face Señor Harshaa. “That's rude!”
“Did we, mayhaps, pass the test?” Señor Harshaa questioned.

“Yes!” Auralescent exclaimed.

“S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-so, since we all p-p-p-p-passed, w-w-w-w-we can be a quadruple?” the gremlin asked, waving his nussies seductively.

Suddenly, there was a knocking on the cottagecore window. A dark figure loomed over it. Then, the window shattered, and the 9ft tall Ms. Kennedy crawled in.

“SON!” Ms. Kennedy boomed in a loud voice. “YOU’VE BEEN A BAD BOY!” She strutted over to Auralescent and pulled at his ear. In shock, the gremlin broke his other funny bone. In pure terror, Señor Harshaa began swinging from the chandelier, singing Chandelier by Sia. Ms. Kennedy turned to Señor Harshaa, and in an instant, threw a pumpkin at his head. She then turned to the gremlin and Ketchup-Smelling Mikey and threw a bowling pin at them.

“NO!!!!” Señor Harshaa squealed. He stood up from where he fell from the chandelier, and ran over to the gremlin. He began seductively kissing all 17 of his knussies. He then ran over to Ms. Kennedy and kicked her in the toe, Ms. Kennedy immediately fell over and died. Señor Harshaa, so traumatised from this, kicked himself in the throat and tried to kill himself. He fell to the floor. Ketchup-Smelling Mikey sprinted over to him.

“No you can’t die! I love you!” He cried.

“Ketchup-Smelling Mikey, promise me this, you’ll always cut your onions Hairy Mary first. Remember that!” Señor Harshaa squeaked out with his last breath.

Ketchup-Smelling Mikey and the gremlin turned around to find Auralescent, but he was nowhere to be seen. They ran outside and saw him riding out into the sunset on his elephant.

“S-s-s-s-s-sir!!! D-d-d-d-don’t go!!” the gremlin screamed.

“I’ll always love you!!” Auralscent screamed back.

Ketchup-Smelling Mikey began Irish dancing out of grief, the dance lasted a whole 30 seconds.

“I hope you get cancer.” Ketchup-Smelling Mikey said out of the blue.

“Ummm…. that’s not nice, young whippersnapper!” the gremlin exclaimed.

“You’re right, I need to work on my people skills. I think my rainbow afro is getting to me.” Ketchup-Smelling Mikey said, ashamed. “My clit piercing is rubbing against my butthole.”

“Omg you have a clit piercing, I have one too!” the gremlin exclaimed.

“Wow,” Ketchup-Smelling Mikey said in a cockney accent. “Where did you get it done?”

“That one well!”

“Omg me too!”
Go tobann, there was a rumbling from the bushes, and Hassandra crawled out. His 1ft6” body on all fours, wearing a Draculaura costume and Demonias. Behind him came a 7ft Noah’s Haven, in an unidentified furry costume, stripper shoes, and fishnets. And last but not least, Ms. Power’s 1ft1” came crawling out in a red amongus costume, a flogger in hand.

“RED IS SUS! RED IS SUS!” Ketchup-Smelling Mikey screamed bloody murder.

“Hallo, ich bin es, Noah's Haven.” Noah’s Haven exclaimed suddenly.

Ms. Kennedy came stomping out of the house, not dead. “WHAT DID YOU SAY! I DON’T KNOW GERMAN!”

Mikey kicked her in the toe and she died again.

Noah’s Haven turned to the gremlin, and bit his lip so hard it bled.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“S-s-s-s-s-sure.”

“Zieh deinen Rock aus.”

 

To Be Continued...

Notes:

bagina