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Today I met Odahviing.
He told me a great many things of Alduin; including where to find him.
Thinking this was wonderful news, I went to Sky Haven Temple to receive the rites of Esbern's Dragon Slaying Blessing Ritual and instead of the warmth I had come to know from there, Esbern would not greet me, and when I was met by Delphine, I was informed that they felt aiding me would be against their Blades code of Honor, because I had allied myself with the dragon Paarthurnax.
The only way they would again welcome me with open arms?
His Death.
Paarthurnax, my master, my teacher, my friend. He who trusted me, and I trusted in him.
How could they ask me to do something so horrible?
So treacherous?
When the well being of our very world hung in the balance... something so small... so petty.
So Paarthurnax had been Alduin's right Hand. He'd turned away from that.
He'd taken the word and teachings of Kynareth and made them his life.
But none of that mattered. Nor did it Matter that his allegiance to Alduin had not been a always been a willingness to serve, but an unwillingness to turn against his Brother.
Talos preserve me; They wanted me to kill the son of Akatosh, Alduin's little brother.
Troubled, I traveled to the Throat of the World, where I first met my teacher, where I learned to meditate, and learned the Dragonrend shout and faced against his brother...
Where he fought for me; beside me.
How could I even entertain the idea of Killing Him?
He greeted me with that slow smile, turning his head so his good eye was on me, and I reached up to stroke the side of his chin where the horn was missing.
"Yol!" I shouted; though it was customary for the Elder to speak first, I know how it pleases him, the feel of my Thu'um, my voice, and the warmth of my fire.
He spoke back, just above my head so I could feel his Thu'um, his warmth, but he took care not to burn me.
I crawled up the rock and ice to make my way beneath him where he perched. I sat there in silence for some time, listening to his heart beat, enveloped in the heat of his body.
His slow, steady breathing.
For a Dragon with a weakness for talking, he seemed to understand that I simply needed to meditate on the right words to say.
"The Blades think you deserve to die," I said finally, bitterness in my voice.
He was quiet for a moment, giving no indication he'd heard me, save for a low thrum, deep in his chest that I felt resonate through him. He too was looking for the right words; I could feel it.
"They are wise not to trust me," He said finally.
He told me that Dovahs, most of them, could not be trusted. They were prideful, Dominant creatures, but that he could be trusted. He'd found a purpose, and a way. But then he fell silent before he told me he had spent a millenia of my years on top of that mountain, and that every day he struggled with the desire to return to his old ways.
"Is it not better," he asked me, "Rather than being born good, to be born evil and overcome through great effort?"
It was true, what he said, but I sensed in him a sort of weariness. The way he spoke, when he admitted the temptations he faced every day, the years alone on this mountain.
Alduin was still out there... if Paarthurnax gave in to that desire, that urge... It could mean devastation for the human race, especially if the greybeards fell to their trust in him.
I slid down from the rocky perch so I could stand and face him.
I understood now... Paarthurnax was a social creature, really. He had a weakness for humankind, and contact.
He liked to talk. He liked to converse.
But he had Dragon urges, a dragon nature he had to keep buried. He'd been alone for a thousand years to protect others from himself, and to protect himself from others. He was lonesome. He couldn't be around other dragons, and he couldn't be around people. He'd had no friends since Numinex, and he was old.
He was letting me know that he didn't trust himself... that he was ready for whatever followed this life... That he was tired, and he was done.
I shouted to him, the full strength of my fire breath, and he closed his eyes, leaning his head down towards me in understanding, and with a deep breath, I leaped up and I plunged the long blade of my ebony sword up between two breast scales straight into his heart, and I quickly withdrew it.
The dragon released a long, slow, shuddering breath. Despite his best efforts, he released a wounded sound as pain swelled in his chest and his strength began to ebb. Slowly, he folded his wings and slid from his perch, curling against the great, broken wall where he had first taught me the word, "Yol."
"Praan, Paarthurnax... Aal Aaz Kron Hin Krosis." I whispered tearfully, voice breaking as I knelt beside him and stroked his head, bringing his chin to rest in my lap. "Rest, Paarthurnax... May Mercy Conquer your sorrow."
Tears burned as they welled and slipped from my eyes, leaving scorching trails down cheeks that had been numb with cold.
"Werid... Praise... " he whispered faintly, "Saviik Dii... savior mine."
The light faded from his one good eye, which had never left mine, and I leaned over him, pressing a kiss to his fevered, bony brow, and warmth engulfed him and I both as his body began to fade, and his soul swirled around me, seeping into my very being, settling into my very heart and soul.
He would be with me always, his voice would be my voice, and his strength would be my strength.
In the things I learned, and the actions I performed, he would live on in me.
This knowledge gave me peace; gave me comfort.
"Drem yol lok," I whispered.
Peace, Fire, Sky.