Archive of Our Own

The night was dark but the red moon made the sky an ocean of crimson. It reflected on Taeyong’s eyes, wide and steady while he felt the cold air. He was wearing his black satin robe, the wind almost caressing every part of his body. It was quite terrifying, him standing all alone at his mansion’s porch in the middle of the forest, not fully knowing if something or someone was watching him behind the tall and thick trees. 

With its full glow, the blood moon faced him. He knew he should be frightened but all he could feel was the grief hugging and suffocating him and his body slowly.

“It’s time,” he whispered to himself. The red moon was a symbol that he was coming.

He slowly went inside his mansion, feeling heavy with every breath and step he could take. He closed the heavy doors and walked to his room, looking at every angle of his chamber. This place was supposed to soothe his aching heart but all he could feel at that moment was despair enveloping his chest.

He touched every book that he once read and remembered the absolute joy that came while reading the lines and feeling the emotions of the characters he loved. He wished that he could take those books with him. He really wished he could, but he can’t. Not in that world, he whispered. 

He also touched every piece of clothing in his wardrobe that he made. He remembered being so happy drawing and sewing his favorite pieces that he would wear whenever he would go out and stroll in the nearby town. He was often complimented by how the clothes hugged his body perfectly and how they would also suit his extraordinary features. 

Taeyong saw his reflection in the huge golden mirror that was surrounded by fresh roses. It’s been his favorite flower ever since he was a child. His parents even built a garden of roses just for him. He smiled fondly at that memory but it didn’t reach his eyes. He looked at himself and he saw all of the emotions stored in those two hollows. Emotions. He would surely miss every feeling he felt in this world. Whether it was the joy, the sorrow, the excitement, or the displeasures he experienced. 

He would miss it all. 

He wondered if he would still feel emotions in the place he was going. 

He stopped at his table and sat on the wooden chair. Almost every space on his table was occupied by letters. He stared at the ink and paper for so long that he convinced himself that he needed to do it. 

His chest tightened, then with his hands shaking, he started writing.

Letter for my Love, you were my misery. You were a melancholic and painful taste of every silent word said jubilant, sweet, and paradise-like.

Why did you make every beaten soul believe you were true? You were not.

I've felt many things because of you. Your deep brown eyes stared directly into my soul. It was you who destroyed my ribs that protected the flesh that kept me alive. With bare hands, you owned it as if it was a nuisance.

Nothing compared to all the dark nights I was left with nothing, paralyzed by the words you carved into my flesh. You were killing me with your sweet lies, every moment I had to take a second just so I could breathe the truth. The seconds my chest hurt as it was about to blow up and start a fire all around.

You were a fantasy that everyone loved to fantasize about. 

You were my fantasy.

You were only an idea that made everyone fall until they hit the cold, lifeless truth. You were not what you said you were. You were not the one who would kiss me sweetly in the middle of the madness.  

Because you were the madness.

You were an enchantment that was so alluring I didn’t want it to end. You were my gehenna. You were an old wives' tale, a perfect delusion that's slowly, slowly killing the one you kissed with sweet, sweet lies.

Taeyong finally stopped writing. Teardrop marked the letter.

Taeyong walked inside the forest to find the rabbit that he saw earlier but he was too far away at that moment to say hello to it because he was busy admiring the roses in their garden. 

He walked on the green and wide path surrounded by tall trees hoping to find the white rabbit again. He could feel the tall trees towering over him as if they were watching his every move. Taeyong could also hear the rush of water near his spot. He remembered the nearby river that he would often go to when he was a child. It had a hanging swing that was tied to the trees surrounding the river, that was why it became a habit for him to visit this part of the woods.

Taeyong turned his head at the left side of the forest when something caught his eye. The smell of freshwater hit his nose as he was walking down in the direction of the glowing light.

It was glowing but he couldn’t see where it was coming from. If it was a person or just the sunlight peeking through the tall trees. He heard someone humming a song and because of his curiosity, he followed the entrancing music. Every step he took felt heavier as he was nearing the source of it. 

He finally saw someone glowing and glistening, sitting by the swing beside the river and he was beautiful. As well as his voice. It matched perfectly and Taeyong never expected to see a person when he was just looking for the white rabbit.

“Who are you?” he asked the person who was still humming a lovely song. He stepped closer because Taeyong thought the person didn’t hear his question.

“I am Love,” the person finally spoke. He looked at Taeyong and met his eyes. Their gaze lasted for a minute when the person finally decided to descend from his place and meet Taeyong face to face. 

“You are Love?” Taeyong asked the person in front of him. “Yes, my dear,” he walked closer to Taeyong. “But you could call me Doyoung,” he replied while smiling. 

Taeyong didn’t say anything as he was still absorbing the other person’s presence. 

“Did you see the white rabbit? I was looking for him,” he mentioned suddenly. The other man chuckled at Taeyong’s question. 

“I believe I am the one you’re looking for, my dear,” the man replied with a grin. “No, I am sorry but I am really looking for the white rabbit,” Taeyong replied with evident confusion written on his face.

“But I am the rabbit,” the man answered, his lips pouting. “No, you’re not. You’re a human being,” Taeyong answered back, still confused at the man’s words. 

Doyoung stepped much closer until they were a breath away from each other. He caressed Taeyong’s lovely face and said something that made Taeyong even more baffled.  

“Do you believe in gods, my dear?”  

After that incident, Taeyong and Doyoung spent almost every day and night with each other. They would often swim at the river, climb the tall trees or they would just lay around the grass admiring the pristine river. 

“What does it feel to be a god?” Taeyong asked the man lying beside him. 

Doyoung stared at the sky for a second before he answered. “It feels normal. Maybe because I am not a powerful god. I am just a god of love, Taeyong.”

“But that’s powerful. Love is powerful.” Taeyong carefully watched Doyoung who was still looking at the sky.

“It could even kill a person,” Taeyong continued. Doyoung turned his head to see the human’s face. It was full of innocence but his words weighed like a rock. 

“It could. Humans are foolish anyway,” the god replied and Taeyong didn’t know what to feel about that. He was stuck between agreeing with the god’s opinion or being offended. 

Taeyong and Doyoung were inseparable for months. Taeyong learned that Doyoung loved singing and he would often accept musical instruments as an offering from the humans. He also learned that humans could become so greedy and selfless for love. 

Doyoung told him that once, there was a human so deeply in love with another human being, he wished that every important person apart from him would be gone from his lover’s life. And his reason was so that he could be the only person in the world that his lover would ever love and care for.

He questioned Doyoung if he granted that kind of wish and the god said yes. Every desire you had as long as your reason was love, he would grant it. Taeyong was displeased because he thought that it was so selfish and terrible to wish for that kind of thing. It was so wrong. True love shouldn’t be like that, he thought.

After months of being together, Taeyong finally found the words that were tickling his tummy and making his heart full whenever he and Doyoung would hold hands and hug each other before saying their goodbyes. 

They were busy watering the roses in Taeyong’s garden. Taeyong and Doyoung were giggling and playing with the sprinkle when Taeyong suddenly held Doyoung’s hand.

“Doyoung, I think I’m in love with you,” he declared, face red, and eyes gleaming with affection and adoration. Doyoung’s face softened when he saw Taeyong’s eyes. He smiled tenderly and stroked Taeyong’s face. 

“I love you too, my dear Taeyong,” the god answered. 

Taeyong closed his eyes and felt Doyoung’s soft lips on his. The kiss deepened and he could taste the sweetness between them. The god moved his hands from the human’s face to his neck and Taeyong placed his hands on Doyoung’s shoulder. The god’s hands wandered from Taeyong’s neck to his back, pushing him closer to his body. They were so close to each other that they could feel the heat between their bodies. Doyoung’s lips were released when Taeyong stopped for a moment to catch his breath.

“Is this real?” Taeyong asked Doyoung who was staring intensely at him. The god just smiled and continued their passionate kiss.  

A year passed after the incident in the forest and Taeyong felt like he was on a cloud of happiness and pure bliss. When Doyoung came into his life everything changed around him. Suddenly the trees in the forest were dancing, his garden of roses became more alive, and the river became more meaningful. Doyoung would often whisper in his ear the words that would always make Taeyong’s heart melt. 

He was so in love that he thought that was it, that was true love. 

Every time their eyes met, Taeyong’s eyes would show the absolute admiration he had for the god of love. It was evident whether they were dancing in the middle of Taeyong’s rose garden or when they were swimming in the river.

However, everything changed when Doyoung stopped meeting him every day. It changed without any reason and that made Taeyong question himself. He questioned himself if he was doing anything wrong or if he did something that made Doyoung upset. He was tired of waiting for Doyoung to come so he went into the woods to find the rabbit again.

He was in the middle of the forest when he noticed something glowing on the other side of the river. He and Doyoung don’t go frequently on this side of the river so he thought it was unusual to see Doyoung’s gleaming aura on this part of the woods. 

He walked carefully once again feeling the trees watching him closely, he could feel his body starting to sweat, and his heart beat faster than normal. He didn’t understand why he was feeling nervous. Maybe it was the excitement ‘cause at last, he would finally be able to see Doyoung again. 

He stopped walking when the tree’s branch swiftly moved in front of him like it was intentionally blocking him from what he was about to see.

And he wished he wasn’t so stubborn. He wished he could turn back time and just stayed at his chamber, read his favorite books, and waited for Doyoung to come.

Because the next scene he saw almost ripped his chest apart.  

It was the love of his life kissing another man that was equally glowing like Doyoung, glowing like a god. Their beautiful and blinding auras blended perfectly as if they were made for each other.  

Taeyong’s world stopped spinning. The scene was in slow motion just like the films he has seen, slowly torturing his mind and soul. He could physically feel pain in his chest and his stomach turning like he was about to throw up from all of those emotions.

But he just stood there not knowing what to do. His mind and body froze but he could feel the hot liquid streaming down his face.

When Taeyong finally had the courage to speak, Doyoung stopped kissing the other man and turned in his direction. 

“Oh, you’re here.” The god’s tone was so casual like he didn’t just destroy and wreck Taeyong’s fragile heart. 

“W-what’s happening, Doyoung?” was all Taeyong could ask. Doyoung walked in his direction and the other man just sat below the tree and minded his own business. 

Doyoung’s hand tried to reach Taeyong’s body.

“D-don’t, please don’t t-touch me right now.” Taeyong’s voice was shaking, his tears streamed down his face.

“My dear, you look so pitiful right now,” Doyoung expressed with no mercy in his voice. 

“You said you love me.” Taeyong’s voice was full of desperation, wishing that moment was just a nightmare, and he would wake up in Doyoung’s embrace again.

“This is not love, Doyoung. Of all beings, you’re the one who should know that,” he said, slightly raising his tone.

“Obviously, this is not love, my dear Taeyong. A god could never love a human.” 

Doyoung’s words stung like the thorns on Taeyong’s beloved roses. It made his soul bleed, it was poisonous to Taeyong’s ear and deadly for his human heart. 

“You are indeed a human. Such a foolish being.” 

And that stuck in Taeyong's mind like a broken record. 

Months passed and Taeyong never went to the woods again. He never saw Doyoung, and the god never went to see him again. He was always in his chamber weeping for his broken heart. Taeyong’s tears never stopped streaming down his lovely face and his heart never stopped aching. He was in such deep pain that he could feel it physically hurt.

So he thought, maybe in another world, he would be happy. And that was why every day he wished for the god of death to just come and end his misery. 

As the old people would say,

Be careful what you wish for.  

He got up from his seat after writing his letter for Doyoung. He wasn’t sure why he even wrote that letter. Maybe just to have a final ending to his misery. After all, tonight was going to be the last day he could feel his heart breaking and beating.

He was going to be dead but alive in another world. 

He was going to the world of the dead. Taeyong couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that he actually wished for death and then it was coming for him. One night, he just dreamt of a black shadow saying to wait for the blood moon and he would grant him the wish that he desperately wanted. 

And then it was here.

Taeyong finally understood the grief he was feeling before, it was for himself. He was grieving for his human life. He was happy but he knew the pain that Doyoung caused would never go away. He would be in misery forever and he didn’t want that. 

Taeyong heard chains rattling outside his mansion. He was alerted by the strange noise so he went outside to know where it was coming from. 

When Taeyong went outside, it was colder, much colder than before that his lips started to dry. He hugged himself, trying to warm his body. Fear started to creep in his body when the fog almost covered the whole area and he couldn’t even see the tall trees that were surrounding his mansion. He could only see the red moon illuminating the crimson sky.

He heard the chains rattling again like it was impatient and wanted to go away immediately. A boat was floating and slowly emerging from the sea of fog. It was an old boat, a century-old boat that seemed to be wrecked by a strong storm but somehow it was still sailing. 

And it was sailing directly to his mansion. The chains were attached to the boats and he could hear it louder and louder until the boat stopped.

He was stunned. He had never seen anything like that before. Taeyong didn’t know what to feel, all he could feel was the cold air seeping into his body. 

A man suddenly appeared at the front of the boat. He couldn't see his face because the man was wearing a black cloak that almost covered his face.  

“I’m here to grant your wish, Taeyong,” the man spoke, his voice cold and deep. 

“Your wish to be dead,” the man continued.

Taeyong was drowning in fear, grief, and uncertainty. His wish was finally granted after months of torment and misery. He was then faced with death that he was longing for so long and yet he was afraid.

He was afraid of what was waiting for him on the other side but it was better than a life of despair in this world.   

“Are you afraid?” the man asked him. Taeyong found it strange, he didn’t know the god of death was considerate enough to ask about what he was feeling.

“Of course I’m afraid. I’m about to die.” Taeyong didn’t mean for his tone to be like that but his mind was literally in shambles right then that he couldn’t think straight. 

“I’m sorry. Please, take your time,” the man spoke again and his tone was softer but still cold. 

Taeyong was beyond confused about the man. He was supposed to be terrifying and scary but why did Taeyong feel at ease? His mind was calmer and his heartbeat slower than before.

“I’m sorry for my attitude, I'm just really afraid,” Taeyong spoke softly, almost like a whisper. 

He closed his eyes for a minute convincing himself that there was no going back. This was the moment he'd been wishing for. Taeyong opened his eyes and decided to take a step. Every step away from his mansion, he could feel his heartbeat slowing down.

“I want to warn you that when you step foot on this boat, the blood inside your heart would stop pumping and you would no longer be human but a being of the underworld,” the man warned him but Taeyong’s decision was final.

He walked away heavily from his mansion. He didn’t turn his head to bid at least a last farewell to his home for years. Where his family lived happily, where his rose garden was built, and where his safe haven was decorated with his favorite books. 

Taeyong didn’t turn his head and just kept on walking towards death. 

What was left for him in this world anyway? His parents were dead and Doyoung never came back for him. His love never came back for him. 

And he would never come back here, too. 

A tear fell from his eyes one last time and then he stepped foot in the boat. 

Taeyong’s body was in the boat and he noticed that it was actually made from bones. He didn’t even want to think whether it was from humans or animals. The boat started moving and his eyes followed the direction of the chains. He was taken aback when he saw corpses chained to the boat. They were pulling and carrying the boat forward.  

The man held him closer and shared his black cloak with him. He was startled when the man touched his shoulder. His hands were cold and Taeyong felt something in him when he felt the god’s touch.  

The god was sharing his cloak like he was shielding Taeyong from heavy rain and it was not even raining, it was just icy cold. The fog didn’t even help Taeyong’s eyes to see where they were going because their path was blinded by the thick fog. 

So he looked up and saw the man’s face. His face was pale like there was no blood running in his veins. His eyes were dark and dead, but his lips had a color; It was reddish like his favorite rose.  

This god was also beautiful. Beyond beautiful.

Taeyong wondered if it was a requirement for gods to have a perfect face. 

His hands went to his chest. No heartbeat. He was dead. He remembered what he said to Doyoung about love.

Love could kill a person.  

And he was right because it killed him. 

But he didn’t feel any sadness. Taeyong just felt calm and serene.

When they arrived the cold air never left Taeyong’s skin. He saw a stairway leading to a huge castle of stone. It had many steps and it was steep. The whole place was dark and dim, and you could only see a faint light coming from the torches every ten steps. 

“Follow me,” the god finally spoke to him. The whole time they were traveling from Taeyong’s mansion to this world, he didn’t utter even a single word. He followed the god of death but it was so dark that he couldn’t see the steps.

“Wait, it’s too dark. I can't see anything,” Taeyong mentioned. The god was several steps away from him but he turned his back and walked to hold Taeyong’s hand. 

“I’ll guide you. Just hold my hand,” the god said, his cloak covering half of his face. 

They finally reached the castle and the heavy gates were almost the same height as the trees in the forest wherein Taeyong would often go. It opened by itself slowly and it revealed the interior of the castle. It was dark but the chandelier made from candles gave a little light to see the hallway and the inside of the castle. 

It was a vast space even larger than his mansion. Taeyong also felt that it was a bit warmer inside compared to the cold air he was feeling earlier. It was dead silent and all he could hear was their footsteps. Then he smelled something familiar. 

Roses.

He saw a pile of roses in the middle of the castle like it was a welcoming gift just for him. He ran quickly in its direction, touching almost every piece of it, just making sure that the roses were real and he was not imagining things. 

“It’s a gift for you, Taeyong,” the god said, his cloak gone. Even if their only source of light was the candles from the chandelier, Taeyong could clearly see the man in front of him. Their eyes met and the god’s eyes shone for a moment. 

“For me?” Taeyong still couldn’t believe it. He thought in this world, roses wouldn’t even exist. 

“Yes, it’s only for you but you need to take a rest now. I’ll show you to your new chamber,” the god replied. He guided Taeyong in the direction of his new chamber. The castle was like a maze, it had so many doors and stairs. Taeyong would totally get lost inside this castle.

“This is your chamber. Have a good rest.” The god opened the door for Taeyong. He was about to go in but he turned his back and met the god’s eyes again.

“I don't know your name,” Taeyong asked, his eyes focused on the god’s expression but it was blank.

The god cleared his throat and spoke. “Jaehyun.” 

Taeyong stared at Jaehyun for a minute waiting for the god to say something more but he concluded that it was the end of their conversation. 

“Well. Thank you, Jaehyun, for granting my wish.” After that, Taeyong walked inside his chamber and closed the door.

Jaehyun stood outside Taeyong’s chamber for minutes. He thought he just saw the most angelic face a being could ever have. Taeyong’s face was heavenly for Jaehyun.

Weeks passed and Taeyong felt normal that it was strange. He expected that this world would be so much different from his. But he never really went outside of his chamber, afraid that he would be lost in the maze of stairs and doors so he didn’t really know what was waiting for him outside the castle. 

There were just a few differences that he noticed. First, the difference between the human world and this world was that there was no sun in here. It was always dark, cold, and chilly. Second, he didn’t need to sleep but he still rested his eyes, he also didn’t feel any hunger but he would still eat the sweets that Jaehyun would offer him regularly. Lastly, he didn’t feel any emotion aside from being calm and at peace. 

He was grateful that Jaehyun gave him a comfortable chamber with a bed similar to his own bed at his mansion, a closet full of clothes, and he also placed the pile of roses near his window. 

Jaehyun also mentioned that if he wanted to read books, there was a library on the left wing of the castle.

The god made frequent visits to his door and Taeyong thought that he was really considerate of the humans he brought to death.

“Do you need something?” the god asked as soon as he opened his door. 

“This is the 4th time you asked me if I needed something and you know the answer, Jaehyun,” Taeyong said, his lips curved into a smile because he never thought the god of death would be so charming and caring. 

“My apologies. I just don’t want you to be afraid or to be lonely.” Jaehyun looked down, avoiding Taeyong’s gaze and his sweet lips.

“I’m not afraid nor lonely. I chose to be a part of this world. I actually wished for it desperately, remember?” Jaehyun met Taeyong’s gaze again, and for a moment he was lost in those eyes. 

How could someone hurt you so bad that you wished to be dead, Taeyong? You should be happy living in your world and yet you chose to stay here.

Jaehyun wanted to say those words but he thought it would be unseemly. 

“Yes, I remember. You were weeping every day that I had no choice but to grant it,” the god teased Taeyong. After days of being here and talking to Jaehyun, Taeyong realized that Jaehyun’s eyes were not dead, they were dark but they had a life of their own. He could stare at Jaehyun’s eyes for hours and he would not be displeased.

After weeks of being together with him, Taeyong felt comfortable. He never expected their relationship to be like that. Like he was making a new friend but the only difference was that Jaehyun was a god and he would always feel warmer whenever the god of death was around.    

Jaehyun accompanied him to the library and Taeyong’s mouth almost dropped to the floor. The library had many floors, it was like a tower of books, letters, drawings, and portraits. Each floor had a different color and theme of books stacked on the shelves. It had almost a thousand floors that you needed to look up.

“Why do you have so many books? Do you also like to read?” Taeyong asked the man behind him. Still in awe that a grand library like existed in the underworld.

“Yes, but I built it for the beings who wanted to experience reading a book again or drawing something,” the god answered. 

Taeyong turned his head to meet the god’s eyes and stared at him before answering “Why are you so considerate?”

“I am not a being of torture, Taeyong. I am a god of death, my only obligation is to bring humans from their world to their fate and that fate is their ultimate death,” the god clarified, his voice calm and patient.   

“But what about the hell of fire? I thought it was here,” Taeyong asked again, his brows furrowed from confusion.

Jaehyun grinned, “Hell is not real, Taeyong. But yes, eventually, the beings will be judged by the god of misery and the god of mercy.”

Taeyong didn’t open his mouth so the god continued explaining.

“They will be judged according to their actions here in the underworld. If they atone for their sins, the god of mercy would let them stay here until their reincarnation. And if they didn’t repent, the god of misery will take them from here to the land of misery where they would suffer for eternity and they would never experience reincarnation.”

“So that will also happen to me?” Taeyong asked with concern on his face. 

“Your human life was short, Taeyong. So I’m quite sure you haven’t committed any grave sins. Do you want to be reincarnated?” Jaehyun asked as he was walking towards Taeyong.

“I don’t know,” he replied. Jaehyun stopped in front of Taeyong whose eyes were gloomy. 

“That’s alright,” Jaehyun assured him. The presence of the god always calmed him down.

“We came here because you wanted to read. What are you waiting for? Go and enjoy your books.” Jaehyun declared and suddenly the candles inside the library glowed brighter and Taeyong could see the room clearly. 

He could also see Jaehyun’s face more visible under the candlelights. “What about you?” Taeyong asked. 

“Do you want company while you’re reading?” 

“Yes, that would be nice,” Taeyong answered with a soft grin on his angelic face.

“Then let’s start. I know a floor you would love to see.” Jaehyun also smiled, he held Taeyong’s hand and went upstairs. 

The god was conflicted. He had been surrounded by dead people with lifeless eyes since the beginning of time that he didn't know he was still capable of feeling warm and joyful. And he started to feel that after seeing Taeyong face to face. 

Being with Taeyong for weeks made his cold heart, warmer, and brighter after ages of being in the dark and being alone in his stone-cold throne. 

“I would always make my own clothes when I was still in the human world. My mother would always bring me to the town, wearing my own creation and she would always praise me. She would always say that I was meant for greater things. I wonder what she would say if she knew that I died because of love,” Taeyong smiled bitterly while telling his memories to the god of death who was listening to every word he said.

“I was really a fool,” he added. 

After that, he continued sewing the last piece of design in the cloth that he was making. He didn’t even question how Jaehyun would always have the things that Taeyong would wish. He would just always surprise Taeyong with the things he loved in the human world. In return, Taeyong would always hug him, thanking the god of death for his kindness.

Taeyong was thrilled when he looked at the piece of clothing he made. He stood in front of his mirror and he instantly tried it but his hands couldn’t reach the ties on his back. 

“Can I help you with that?” Jaehyun asked, he stared at their reflection in the mirror. It was dark but he could clearly see Taeyong’s expressions. 

“Please,” Taeyong replied, smiling. 

Jaehyun started tying the layers of ties on Taeyong’s cloth. He was so concentrated that his forehead started to crease. 

“Are you done?” Taeyong asked and he could feel something inside him bloom when he saw the god’s face. 

“Yes,” Jaehyun answered him.

“It’s beautiful,” the god of death almost whispered, his hands still not leaving Taeyong’s back.  

“Thank you,” Taeyong smiled. 

Jaehyun’s hands traveled to his shoulder, his touches lingered on Taeyong’s skin. 

“You are always beautiful,” Jaehyun declared while staring at the mirror. 

“You always say such kind words to me that I’m starting to think you’re lying,” Taeyong teased him and Jaehyun gave a little chuckle in return. 

“I am not a very good liar,” the god replied.

“And I am not lying when I say that you are not a fool, Taeyong.”

“It’s not foolish to be in love,” Jaehyun expressed, his eyes full of sincerity and longing that Taeyong noticed even in the dark. 

24 years later.

Many years passed in the human world but it would have been just a few years in the underworld. Jaehyun eventually fell in love with Taeyong, and he was not just in love, he was gravely in love. It was inevitable, he thought. His first time seeing his angelic face and he instantly felt something inside of him burn. It was like something ignited a fire inside of him. 

Seeing Taeyong almost every hour of the day made the underworld full of dead souls lively for Jaehyun.

They would spend almost every hour with each other. They would do things that Taeyong would normally do when he was still alive in the human world. Everything that Taeyong wanted, Jaehyun was there to provide. He didn’t even have to speak of it and Jaehyun was always there handing him the things he longed for. 

He would sometimes teach Jaehyun about the activities that human beings would do and the god would listen attentively. 

Taeyong would often catch Jaehyun staring at his lips or he would always hold Taeyong’s hands carefully like they were about to break. Then he would stare at Jaehyun’s dark eyes and he’d see the tenderness behind them. 

And he would always ignore the signs, even if it was already ruining his peaceful soul.  

He would pretend that he was just seeing things. Taeyong didn’t let his mind wander about the things that were not meant to be. The god of death didn’t like him, it was impossible. Doyoung already said that a god could never love a human. 

And he didn’t want his dead heart to be more lifeless than it already was. 

They were in their own world dancing in the middle of the castle to a lovely piece of Taeyong’s favorite song. He just decided that he missed dancing in their hall back home and Jaehyun was there, willingly offering himself to be his partner. Their laughs echoed in the empty hall as they started dancing. 

Jaehyun’s hands were placed on his hips, their faces inches away from each other, and their giggling didn’t stop. Taeyong thought it was such a silly thing to do and yet the god of death enthusiastically agreed to do it. 

If his heart was still beating, Taeyong was sure that right at that moment, it would be rejoicing inside his chest. 

They stopped grinning as soon as their eyes met. The feelings that their eyes were carrying, mirrored each other. The evident passion and tenderness were the same, and it scared Taeyong that he needed to look away. He could still feel Jaehyun’s eyes on him and the grip on his hips tightening for a second. 

Then, they continued dancing along with the music. They danced for hours like they were in their own world. Not talking to each other, just their bodies sending the words that their tongues couldn't speak. Taeyong barely met the god’s eyes, afraid that his eyes would reveal what he was feeling but Jaehyun never took his eyes off him. Never loosened the grip on his body. 

“Taeyong,” the god whispered, and Taeyong could hear it clearly because of their proximity. He looked at Jaehyun and he saw the god’s face with an emotion that Taeyong couldn’t read or an emotion that he didn’t want to read. 

“Do you want to stop?” Taeyong asked Jaehyun innocently. 

They stopped dancing but Jaehyun’s hands stayed on Taeyong’s body. He looked at him before he spoke the words that made Taeyong mum. 

“Taeyong, you make my cold heart burn every second I’m with you. You make everything brighter in this sunless world. Your voice, your smile, your eyes, and your mind feel heavenly against my dark world,” the god said, his hold made Taeyong weak.

“I am deeply in love with every part of you,” Jaehyun said slowly while his eyes were full of emotion for the man in front of him. 

Taeyong heard everything that Jaehyun had said and when he looked at Jaehyun’s eyes, they were glistening. He removed himself from Jaehyun’s hold and stood in front of him, still mum. Taeyong regretted it when he saw the pain on Jaehyun’s face for the first time after years of being each other’s company.

“You don’t need to return my affection, Taeyong. I am alright with this. Just let me love you and serve you,” the god said, every word painted with hurt. 

Taeyong wanted to speak, he was desperately trying to find the right words but he couldn’t. He wanted to let Jaehyun know what he was feeling, that a god like him shouldn’t love and serve a foolish being like him.

“That’s all I ask of you, Taeyong.” Jaehyun's voice was laced with desperation and pain.

“I’m sorry, I need to go back to my chamber.” That was all the words Taeyong’s lips could mutter before he ran away to his chamber, leaving the god of death alone in the middle of the cold hall. 

Days passed and the cycle of Taeyong ignoring Jaehyun’s offers didn’t end. Jaehyun would always bring his favorite sweets to his chamber and he would ignore it, pretending he didn’t hear the knock. 

Jaehyun would wait outside Taeyong’s chamber for minutes until he decided that Taeyong just didn't want to be bothered. The god of death was patient. He thought what happened was his fault. He put so much pressure on Taeyong’s shoulders when he confessed his love. 

He deserved it, he thought.

Because of the guilt, he would apologize every day outside of Taeyong’s chamber hoping he would hear the regret in his words. 

And Taeyong would listen every time.

It shattered his soul hearing the pain and regret in Jaehyun’s voice. It shattered his soul every time because he wanted to let the god know that he was feeling the same, but he was afraid that even in this world the other gods were playing a sick trick on his poor soul. He didn’t want to experience it again. The misery he had to go through when Doyoung left him for another god. 

“Taeyong, please, just let me know if you’re doing fine. You don’t need to talk to me, I just want to see if you are--” Jaehyun was shocked when Taeyong opened his door.

“Come in,” Taeyong said, holding his door open but not looking in the god’s direction. 

“It’s fine. I just wanted to see if you ar--” the god explained calmly like he didn’t want to bother Taeyong.

“I said come in,” Taeyong looked at Jaehyun. So he went in, still in shock.

Taeyong’s chamber was dark and their only source of light was the few candles inside the bedroom. It was cold but also comfortable enough if Taeyong wanted to rest, although he didn’t need to. The smell surrounding the room was sweet like Taeyong.

The silence between them was cut off when Taeyong finally spoke.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you, I didn’t mean it. I didn’t want to hurt you, Jaehyun. I never wanted to do that. You’ve only been so kind to me even if you didn’t need to. Your company made me feel like I was at home and I never missed anything because of you. I am deeply thankful for everything and I wanted to let you know that--”

Taeyong stopped talking for a moment to arrange his thoughts. His hands were fidgeting and he could feel his legs getting weak. 

“I wanted to let you know that our feelings are the same,” Taeyong finally said. It was almost like a whisper but Jaehyun heard every single word he said.

“I love you too but I am afraid,” Taeyong confessed. 

“Why, my love?” Jaehyun whispered tenderly. He carefully stepped closer while his hands delicately tried to reach Taeyong’s body. 

Jaehyun held his hands to stop them from shaking. 

“Tell me,” he said softly, brushing his thumb on Taeyong’s hands, which made Taeyong calmer. He looked at Jaehyun’s face and only concern and tenderness were written on it.

“A god like you could never love a human,” Taeyong said, recollecting the time when he thought his chest was going to be ripped apart by the pain he was feeling. 

“That’s not true, Taeyong, because even if I don’t have a heart that’s beating, I know that it would only race for you. It would only belong to you and I would only belong to you. The words in this world couldn't even express the emotions I have for you, my love. They are simply not enough,” Jaehyun said while he poured all of his emotions into words. 

“But I don’t deserve your love. You are a god of the underworld and I am just a mere being,” Taeyong said and the sadness in his eyes hurt the god of death. 

“You are deserving of everything, Taeyong. I would make you a god if you want to. We could rule this world forever just say yes, my love, and I would gladly do it.”

Jaehyun was patiently waiting for Taeyong’s answer. 

“Yes. Yes, I want to be with you forever.”  

After those words left Taeyong’s tongue, he finally felt Jaehyun’s lips on his. 

It was a different type of feeling that even this world couldn’t describe. It was slowly making every inch of his body needy like he wanted to be touched everywhere. He opened his mouth letting the god consume every part of it. 

Jaehyun was starving for Taeyong. His hands and mouth on his lover proved that. He waited so long for that moment to happen; to finally kiss Taeyong’s lips and to finally feel his body against him. A whine escaped from Taeyong’s lips when Jaehyun’s tongue traveled from his jaw to his neck, licking it like it was his favorite dessert. Taeyong’s legs were weak and he mentally thanked Jaehyun for holding his body. 

Taeyong grasps Jaehyun’s arms while letting the god do whatever he wanted to do, his longing and hunger for years were evident and Taeyong could feel it all. Their lips met again and this time Jaehyun carried him and slowly walked to his bed. His back finally met his soft bed but Jaehyun never stopped kissing him and he consumed every piece of him. The god’s hands were placed on his sides, pinning him down badly like he would escape his grasp. Jaehyun’s knee prevented Taeyong’s leg from closing and it slowly caressed his aching cock.

“You don’t know how long I waited for this,” the god whispered in Taeyong's ear, clearly desperate for him. 

Jaehyun’s mouth roamed from his neck to his chest. He was impatient and he wanted his mouth on every inch of Taeyong’s body. He ripped Taeyong’s clothes and looked at his lover’s body under him, needy and unkempt. 

“You are beyond beautiful than any of the gods I’ve met,” he said, dark eyes traveled from Taeyong’s body to his angelic face.  

“Jaehyun, my love, have you seen yourself?” Taeyong grinned and held Jaehyun’s face for another kiss. 

Jaehyun’s other hand left Taeyong’s side and played with his chest. Taeyong moaned between their kisses when he felt Jaehyun’s hand on his nipple circling and playing with it. Jaehyun’s hands were replaced by his lips on Taeyong’s chest and he was a mess, moaning Jaehyun’s name while grabbing his hair firmly. The god loved the sound that Taeyong was making so his mouth never left his chest. 

“Please, I want you now,” Taeyong’s voice was desperate.

“Patience, my love.” The god’s voice was low. Jaehyun’s words were more like a command that shouldn’t be questioned.

Jaehyun’s hands removed Taeyong’s only piece of clothing then he slowly kissed Taeyong’s inner thighs, teasing his needy lover. He grinned when Taeyong grabbed his head away but he still continued. His mouth found its way to Taeyong’s leaking cock while his hands stroked it languidly. He licked its head making Taeyong’s moans louder. He continued doing it until he tasted Taeyong’s release. 

Taeyong’s legs were shaking, his face down to his chest was burning with desire, and his eyelids almost closing. He tasted his own release when Jaehyun kissed him again. 

“We are not done yet, my love.” Jaehyun tapped Taeyong’s cheeks. 

Taeyong saw Jaehyun’s mocking grin and he was annoyed by it. He bit his lover’s bottom lip causing Jaehyun to groan then he switched their positions and then Jaehyun was under him.

“Remove this, please,” Taeyong pleaded. Jaehyun sat down and removed all his clothes. 

Taeyong was sitting on his lap, grinding his bare hips on him while kissing his neck. If he was a mortal being he was quite sure that Taeyong’s hips and mouth would be the death of him. Taeyong pushed him back on the bed and then he was sitting on the god’s stomach. He saw Jaehyun’s lips redder than before, and his dark eyes screamed lust and desire. 

Taeyong opened his legs wider making sure the god would see everything that he was about to do. He sucked his fingers wetly and sensually while staring directly at Jaehyun’s eyes. The god’s grip on his thighs stiffened. He continued sucking on his fingers until they were dripping wet and slowly went inside his hole.

He inserted one finger and a moan escaped his lips. Taeyong added another finger, still enjoying himself while watching Jaehyun’s reaction. He thought the god could devour him whole with those eyes. Jaehyun’s hand moved and Taeyong immediately stopped it. 

“Patience, my love,” Taeyong said, smirking and mocking Jaehyun’s desperate moves. 

Jaehyun almost salivated at the sight of Taeyong enjoying himself on top of him. He could see everything, from Taeyong’s eyes half closing while he moaned his name and his fingers fucked his hole. He wanted to be the one to touch him and made him feel good but Taeyong didn’t allow it so he just watched patiently.

Taeyong removed his fingers from himself then he stroked Jaehyun’s cock behind him.

“I want this now,” he commanded and Jaehyun gladly obeyed it. 

Taeyong was on his stomach and his face pushed on the soft pillow while the god of death was behind him. Jaehyun’s hands gripped Taeyong’s hips. He positioned himself and slowly entered Taeyong. They groaned when they finally felt each other. Jaehyun’s rhythm was slow, feeling every part of his lover’s insides but then he heard Taeyong’s helpless cries which made him thrust harder. When he finally moved faster and deeper, Taeyong felt tears forming in his eyes from all the sensation and his mouth dripping with saliva. He was a complete mess under Jaehyun.

Their moans echoed in Taeyong’s chamber and Jaehyun was determined to make Taeyong scream until it reached the other worlds. 

Jaehyun made him sit on his lap again. Taeyong’s back was on his chest while riding his cock. They could feel their bodies’ friction almost igniting a fire in the underworld. 

“I would give you everything you want, my love. Everything you want,” he whispered in Taeyong’s ear while his hands guided his lover’s hips. 

“And I only want you. To be with you for eternity,” Taeyong answered back and it sounded like a prayer. 

They were near the end of their intense intimacy when Taeyong turned his face to the side to meet Jaehyun’s lips. “I’m near,” Taeyong cried, riding the god’s cock faster. Jaehyun’s lips sucked his neck and bit his shoulder making him sound louder. Jaehyun’s hand went to his leaking cock and then he stroked it faster making him cry. Taeyong’s legs were about to give up when he felt the hot liquid dripped on his thighs and his own release on Jaehyun’s hands.

“You’re the death of me,” Jaehyun whispered and Taeyong just smiled.

A millennium passed and the gods of death happily ruled the underworld as husbands. Their story was known to all the realms and everyone envied their deathless love. It was the kind of love that was calm and patient; yet so intense that it didn’t falter after ages of living in the darkness with no company but the cold air and the souls of the dead.

The castle had two thrones made for Jaehyun and Taeyong. It was surrounded by roses that made the castle a little bit colorful. The two gods stopped talking when a familiar face showed up at their hall.

It was Doyoung. 

“My love, it’s Doyoung, the god of love,” Taeyong whispered to Jaehyun then he turned his head to the familiar face. 

“Doyoung is not the god of love, Taeyong,” Jaehyun answered his husband. 

“That’s right, Taeyong. I am actually the god of fate and I came here to witness if it came true,” Doyoung declared in front of the two gods who were still sitting on their throne.

“What are you talking about?” Taeyong was confused. Doyoung really tricked his poor soul before. 

“Your fate to rule the underworld together with your husband,” Doyoung casually answered then he touched the roses. He didn’t even give a single care to the gods of death in front of him.

“You knew my fate and yet you chose to trick and hurt my human soul,” Taeyong replied. 

“Well, just think of it as a part of your fate. Come on, you’re a god now and it was a millennium ago, can’t you move on.” Doyoung rolled his eyes and that made Jaehyun chuckle. 

Taeyong looked at his husband and he stopped laughing. Jaehyun mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ to Taeyong’s irritated face.

“And you came here to ask for my forgiveness, am I right?” Taeyong asked Doyoung who was still busy checking their castle.

“It’s so dark in here I don’t know how you live here,” Doyoung commented, completely ignoring Taeyong’s question.

“Live? You are in the underworld, Doyoung,” Jaehyun spoke.

“You came all the way from your realm to our world to touch my roses?” Taeyong asked again.

“Fine. Now that I confirmed it, I will leave you two now. Plus, I’m getting sick of your sweetness. It’s literally suffocating me,” Doyoung acted like he was about to puke. 

Doyoung took his step away from the throne when Taeyong spoke again.

“I’ve forgiven you centuries ago, Doyoung.”

After that, Doyoung could hear Jaehyun still apologizing for his silly behavior earlier and Taeyong’s angry tone echoing in their hall. 

Doyoung smiled and he could feel the guilt he was feeling for centuries washing away from his system. He convinced himself that at least Taeyong was happy and loved.