Work Text:
11:50PM
Still, after years, the city at night gave him chills. The streetlights illuminating the sidewalks and roads, and the people and cars who went along them. From Niki’s balcony, they looked like nothing more than ants.
Niki. What was Niki going to think tomorrow? Waking up to such horrific news. He half expected his boyfriend to join him the next day, but he really hoped Niki was stronger than him. Scratch that, he had to be stronger than him.
Blowing out a puff of cigarette smoke as he leans over the railing, he begins to second guess himself. Maybe this was for attention. He’d always been an attention whore, even strangers acknowledged that about him. He liked the spotlight.
Maybe that in itself was a coping mechanism. Being in the spotlight to have people remind you that you still matter. It seemed reasonable, but he didn’t know why he was trying to reason. He isn’t a psychologist, and reason wouldn’t matter in about ten minutes anyways.
He drops the cigarette over the edge as he finishes with it, watching with puffy, red, tired eyes as it floats down. The glow of the still lit paper fading in and out with the wind. He watches it fall, taking a deep breath as he pulls himself up to sit on the railing.
If this wasn’t for attention, what was it? Bringing his issues to the surface was never something he’d had to deal with, nor will have to do, but he still asks himself impossible questions to distract his mind.
The sky. The night sky always looked so lonely in the city. Sure, it was cluttered with stars, but none were touching. Not even close. The distance between them only reminds Rinne of the distance between himself and his friends. They never cared anyways. They were right not to get attached. Niki was going to have it hard.
Hiiro. He hadn’t even considered Hiiro. The thought crosses his mind, and he closes his eyes, the wind blowing through his hair as he removes his headband, absentmindedly laying it over the chair behind him on the balcony. His shoes lay under said chair as well. For clarification, of course. Hiiro is going to be devastated.
It’s fine. He’ll find comfort in Alkaloid. He always did when Rinne hurt him. This was no different. Niki would find comfort in CrazyB. At least he hopes HiMERU and Kohaku care for Niki more than they care for him. Niki’s more deserving of their love than he could ever hope to be.
11:58PM
Deep breaths. Slow breaths. His hands are shaking, but he doesn’t care. Tears start to roll down his cheeks, dampening the collar of his jacket. He slips off the garment, placing it with his headband on the chair, praying Niki checks the pocket. His explanation is there, some closure.
11:59PM
He stands up. Hands tightly gripping the balcony behind him as he stares at the ground below. Nobody was there, nobody except for the cars parked in the driveway. Rinne wonders if anyone is in them. If anyone is going to hear his final action. Or see it.
He stops thinking about it. He lets his mind wander back to CrazyB, to Hiiro, the rest of Alkaloid, 2wink and all of the other people he’s talked to. Everyone he’s lied to. Everyone he's hurt.
They’d be so glad to be rid of him.
12:00AM