Archive of Our Own

“I’m going to murder that punk.”

Youichi was already having a sour evening. Baseball practice had been extra long and even more strenuous. Then there was homework, to top it all off. His class assignments were piling up before him, and the deadlines were fast approaching by the end of the week. He had just managed to finish one of his papers - a miracle! - and he was looking forward to unwind with a video game. Specifically, a game he had been playing for two weeks and almost had beaten.

The only problem was: he couldn’t find it.

Which was stupid, because he had just playing it yesterday. It should have still been in the console! But it wasn’t. Instead, a Katamari game that Sawamura liked to play was in there, and Youichi’s own game had gone missing.

Naturally, Youichi blamed Sawamura for all his strife. He blamed Sawamura for most misfortunes in his daily life. If Youichi couldn’t find his game in Sawamura’s Katamari case, then Sawamura must have misplaced it. And that was just unacceptable.

Once Kuramochi swept through the area around their television, the shelves at the cupboards, he rummaged through his own stuff. None of his search yielded any results, and his frustration was mounting by the second. He just wanted to relax with his game, was that so much to ask? Instead, his blood pressure was increasing, and it was all Sawamura’s fault.

Not that facing the final boss of a video game didn’t have its stress, but at this point, it was the principle of the whole thing! Sawamura needed to learn to treat his senior’s belongings with respect. Not be a punkass underclassman, which he was.

“Stupid, stupid, Sawamura… I’ll wring his neck when he gets back…” Back from wherever Sawamura might be, which was frequently less and less in their own room. Youichi wasn’t his teammate’s keeper, and he supposed he should be thankful for the increase of privacy. But… something about the idea that Sawamura, his idiotic junior, having more places to go than Youichi, made him mad. What did someone like Sawamura have to do with his time?

Both vindictive and spiteful, Youichi began scouring Sawamura’s side of the room. In Youichi’s opinion, he had this right. As a senior and as a victim, a victim of Sawamura’s foolhardy negligence.

“It has to be here somewhere…” Youichi muttered, looking through Sawamura’s sock drawer. Nothing. He looked under Sawamura’s bed. Nothing. He tripped over a rogue pair of Sawamura’s sweatpants, and cursed. Still, all this trouble with no results. “I’m seriously going to kill that kid!” Refusing to give up, Youichi turned his attention to Sawamura’s bureau. In a fury, he viciously tore open the first drawer, ready to scavenge its contents.

Immediately, he froze.

Something was in here that did not belong.

Specifically, there was a very large box. Not a fancy box or anything, but a flimsy, commercialised box of weak cardboard. Something easily bought at any drugstore. It wasn’t the box itself that shocked Youichi, but rather, its label.

OKAMOTO MICRO THIN
Jumbo Pack
Size: XL

Youichi could not believe his eyes.

He seriously could not believe this. Sawamura? Condoms? Sex? This must have been a mistake. This must have been a terrible, terrible mistake. Life was playing a prank on Youichi, and boy was it hilarious.

“Who does he think he is?!”

As if Sawamura Eijun would ever get any use of these! As if Sawamura Eijun had any chances with a girl! Sure, there was Wakana, but she was light years away. What did Sawamura expect?! Did he have a crush on someone else at their school? Was he going to cheat on Wakana?

As if! As if!

Sawamura was still a moron with no game with women. Definitely no more than Youichi, and his chances of actually using these condoms were, of course, miniscule. And the size? Youichi guffawed. Yeah right, like Sawamura had… Youichi shook the ensuing thought out of his mind.

Picking up the box, prepared to use it to humiliate his roommate, Youichi stopped again.

It felt light. Way too light.

Hands shaking, he turned the box upside down. Out fell a singular packet, just one condom left. The rest were gone, which meant that, most likely… Youichi gulped -- they had already been used.

This joke wasn’t funny anymore.

His fingers twitching with nerves, Youichi picked up the enclosed condom from where it had fallen atop the bureau. The wrapper was cool to the touch, a thin, shiny plastic. For some reason, Youichi felt obliged to handle it delicately. Just touching it made him blush.

This was the first time he held a condom outside of health class. The moment felt almost surreal; he was holding a real condom. A real condom, actually used for…

But who?! Who was Sawamura having sex with it?! Just wondering about it made Youichi gag. He didn’t want to think about Sawamura’s sexlife, and honestly, the revelation that Sawamura Eijun, Sawamoron for short, was having sex before his upperclassman, made Youichi want to throttle him the next time he had the audacity to show his dumb, cheeky face.

The curiosity was killing him, though. Part of him really wanted to know, while another part of Youichi begged him to leave this all behind him, to replace the condom and the box and to forget he ever made this discovery.

Wrapped up in mental turmoil, Youichi almost didn’t notice the voices outside. Two voices were rapidly approaching, growing in clarity and volume by the second. Startled, Youichi stumbled with the box as he tried to stuff it back in the drawer. He slammed the bureau closed, and -- Crap! He still had the condom! With no time to go back into the drawer, Youichi stuffed it into his pocket and dived for a game controller on the floor.

When Sawamura opened the door, Miyuki Kazuya of all people in tow, Youichi was on the floor, manically smashing the buttons on his controller, red-faced and sweating.

“Yeah, but I didn’t know you wore those and goggles!” Sawamura was animatedly saying.

“A thicker prescription of those goggles are super expensive!” Miyuki explained. “It’s easier just to wear contacts underneath!”

They both looked fresh, like they just came from washing up after a privately extended pitching practice. Toeing off their shoes at the threshold, they sauntered into the room together.

“Are you serious…” Sawamura dropped his bag on the floor by the door, making a seize of Miyuki’s glasses right off his face, making the other boy snap and drop his own back, fighting to get them back. “Holy crap!” gaped Sawamura as he slipped the glasses over his own eyes, “you’re so blind! You’re so--”

Stopping abruptly, both his words and his movements, Sawamura finally noticing his roommate. Slowly, he lowered the frames from his face. “...Kuramochi-senpai?”

“HahahahHEY GUYS! What’s up?!” Youichi offered a forced grin. His thumbs twiddled over the controller.

Miyuki accepted his glasses back and exchanged a wry look with Sawamura, before regarding the pathetic boy on the floor. “...Did you know the TV is blank?”

Youichi glanced at the television. It was indeed blank. “O-oh! Well, it just did that. Y-yeah. Just went black.”

“But you’re still playing with your controller,” Miyuki pointed out. His eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“Maybe you need to borrow Miyuki’s glasses,” Sawamura quipped. “Except they’re more like two telescopes on his face.” Grinning at Miyuki like he thought himself very funny, Sawamura only received a very unamused look in response, and he cleared his throat and quickly changed the subject. “But h-hey, the TV’s not broken, is it?”

“Um, no! Not at all!” Kuramochi dived across the floor and hit the television’s power button. The screen easily came to life. “See? Haha, it’s fine…”

“Good,” said Sawamura, sitting on the edge of his bed, Miyuki sidling beside him. “Do you want to watch an old movie?”

“What?”

Flipping upside-down over the bed’s edge, Sawamura pillaged through the hovel of crap he kept underneath there. Miyuki had to keep swatting feet away from his face. Then, with an “Aha!” Sawamura surfaced with a DVD case in his hands.

Youichi rose an eyebrow. “Seven Samurai?”

“Yeah!” Sawamura beamed his roommate and their guest. “Miyuki has never seen it before. Isn’t that tragic?”

“Okay but why do you--” Miyuki laughed, gesturing to the DVD, “Why do you just have that conveniently under your bed?”

“Clearly I knew,” said Sawamura, a noble air around him, “that one day this moment would come. That one day someone I knew won’t have seen this film, and I would be ready to set right this injustice that’s been done to them! Never fear, Miyuki Kazuya, I always come prepared!”

“You’re such a doofus.”

They continued to bicker, rather half-heartedly, Sawamura making his case for the movie and Miyuki berating him.

As for Youichi, he caught himself staring at Sawamura in awe. This was the guy having enough sex to empty a box of condoms. This guy? How was that even possible? Just being in his presence reminded Youichi of what a clown the kid was. But the evidence was stacked up against Youichi: Sawamura was clearly getting some from somewhere, and Youichi had been too shocked to actually give Sawamura the whooping that he deserved.

Plus, now that it was all sinking in, Youichi was starting to feel a tad guilty for going through his roommate’s things. The condom in his pocket weighed him down like an anvil chained around his ankles, dragging him under an ocean…

“So, Kuramochi-senpai, what about you?”

“Huh?”

Youichi snapped out of his daze, finding Sawamura and Miyuki’s eyes on him. Sawamura tapped the DVD case enthusiastically. “Seven Samurai. You’ve seen it, right?”

Act natural, Youichi! He told himself. “Oh, sure! Of course! My gramps has all of Kurosawa’s films. They’re classics! Who hasn’t seen them…?”

Sawamura gave Miyuki a triumphant I told you so look, at which Miyuki crossed his arms and scoffed.

“Why am I the one out of the loop?” Miyuki questioned. “We’re like fifty years younger than these movies! Just because you two are old men, I don’t see why I have to suffer for…” Miyuki examined the details on the DVD cover, “Four hours?!”

“Come on, Miyuki-senpai, throw me a bone!” pleaded Sawamura, pouting. “At least it’s like… critically acclaimed! We don’t have to watch it all tonight…” Considering this for more than a second, he shook his head. “Nope, that’s a lie. It’s best if you consume it all at once. Please prepare yourself for a very long but pleasurable night.”

Youichi winced.

“You idiot,” Miyuki jabbed, “we have class and practice tomorrow!”

“Ugghhhh UGH!” Sawamura flopped back on the bed, causing Miyuki to snicker at him.

“Sawamura!” Youichi intervened, finally. “You can’t take over the TV for four hours, I was going to play a game!” Which reminded Youichi how he got in this whole debacle. “And you frickin’--!” He kicked Sawamura in the shin, causing the boy to yelp. “You lost my goddamn game!”

“What!” Sawamura bolted upwards, “What game!?”

“That combat game I’ve been playing, you ass!” Youichi pounced on him, and Miyuki tactfully hurtled himself out the way as the wrestling began. Their thrashing caused the pillows and blankets on Sawamura’s mattress to fly haphazardly around them. Half of Youichi’s hostility was about the game, but the half for Sawamura being a possible stud. “I was going to finish that tonight!! And how could you do this to Wakana?!?!”

“Wh-what does Wakana have to do with this?!”

In response, Youichi tightened his headlock around his junior’s neck. “You know what you did!!”

Sawamura whined for freedom. “I put it back in its own case just like you tell me to!”

“No, you didn’t! I checked the case already!”

“Yes, I did! I swear!”

“No, you did--”

“Yes, he did.”

Youichi’s attention snapped to Miyuki, who was twirling the disc around his finger. He had the game’s case in his other hand, and a smug expression on his face. Both Youichi and Sawamura blinked up at him, Sawamura gratefully so, and Youichi just flabberghasted.

How had he missed that?

Releasing Sawamura, who sharply inhaled all the air he’d been denied, Youichi disbelievingly approached a smirking Miyuki.

“You feeling alright, Kuramochi? You’ve been looking delirious since we walked in, haha…”

Youichi snatched the game back from Miyuki aggressively, avoiding eye contact. “I’m fine!” he snapped. He looked down, and it was indeed the game he had been searching for earlier. “I’m just used to Sawamura losing my shit!”

Taking that as a cue, Sawamura weakly crumpled to the floor, woefully rolling into Miyuki’s feet. He painfully groaned.

“You finally killed him,” Miyuki remarked casually.

Youichi shrugged. “He had it coming!” Flustered about everything, Youichi stomped over to their television and plugged in his game. He aggressively plopped his rear on the carpet as the console’s menu screen flickered to life. Despite the nervous heart pounding in his chest, Youichi tried with all his might to ignore the boys behind him, particularly his roommate.

Which was difficult, since Sawamura was hard to ignore on a typical day, and he kept losing focus on his game. His character kept dying.

"I'm an innocent victim...!" whined Sawamura. His eyes glistened up at Miyuki. "You know what this reminds me of? A scene in Seven Samurai."

Miyuki snorted. "You're relentless." Then, he sighed, lowering himself to the ground. “Fine. If you’re going to be a brat about it, we can watch it."

All of Sawamura’s spirits returned to him. “Really?!”

“Really.”

In a restrained display of victory, Sawamura raised one fist into the air and grinned to himself. For some reason, Youichi stiffened before a word was even spoken to him.

“Kuramochi, give us the TV,” said Miyuki.

“What?!” Youichi, bristled violently. “No way! Can’t you see I’m playing a game!?”

“Yeah, but you keep dying.”

“I do n--!” He was so heated and distracted that his character did, indeed, die again. Gruesomely.

“See?”

“Fuck you!” Youichi spat, restarting from his last save point. He refused to surrender, both in the game and to the likes of Sawamura and Miyuki. “You have a single!” He directed at Miyuki, “Go to your room!”

“Yeah, but I don’t have anything that plays DVDs,” Miyuki countered. “You have, like, four DVD players.”

“They’re game consoles! And I only have two!”

“That play DVDs.”

At Youichi’s feral hiss, Sawamura placed a wary hand on Miyuki’s elbow. “Shhh! If you make him angrier, he’ll attack me again!”

“If he takes it out on you,” said Miyuki with a sneer, “then it’s not my problem, is it?”

Sawamura shook him. “That’s really cruel, Miyuki Kazuya!”

“Hmm… I guess I can spare you, though. We’ll watch your movie this weekend?”

“Wh-- Yeah?!” His eyes lit up and his features smushed together like overjoyed puddy.

Miyuki sighed. “You’re never going to rest until I see it, are you?”

“Haha, nope!”

The veins in Youichi’s temples throbbed. What an annoying pair of individuals, that only became more aggravating when in each other’s company. Why did Miyuki have to be there, too? As if having to face Sawamura after the… revelation… wasn’t awkward enough. Miyuki had to make things even more difficult to deal with, what with his snarky personality.

At this point, Youichi believed Miyuki would return to his own room. If they weren’t going to watch Sawamura’s film, then he really had no business being here, right?

Surprisingly, though, he did not.

Or… was it really so surprising?

Youichi was suddenly hyper-aware of everything about Sawamura’s life. Now that he thought about it, Miyuki had been spending an increased time in their room. Usually, Miyuki’s was the room everyone would invade. Not that Miyuki himself counted as a dozen teammates that hauled up in Youichi’s room, as others would in Miyuki’s. No, Youichi realized. Miyuki just started coming to visit whenever Sawamura was around.

And now…?

“Then can we take the Nintendo to Miyuki’s room?”

“Wh-?” Youichi startled out of his thoughts. Both Sawamura and Miyuki were staring at him again, almost concerned. Even they were not too stupid to realize that something’s been plaguing Youichi’s mind since they arrived. However, they also seemed entirely too preoccupied with each other. Almost like…

Wait. Where had his thoughts been going?

“The Nintendo?” Sawamura repeated. “You’re not even using it!”

“F-Fine!” Youichi barked, flushed and hot-headed. “Whatever! Just get out of my hair.” They were making him dizzy.

Where had his thoughts been going?

No, he told himself. There had to be an alternate explanation. Are you crazy, Youichi? It’s got to be someone else.

“So… Sawamura…” Youichi swallowed, at this point just pressing buttons aimlessly on his controller. His eyes were on the screen, but he wasn’t watching. “Have you… seen Wakana lately?”

“No?” The boy was half distracted by the games he was going through. “I’ve been here!” His head whipped around, eyebrows furrowed and eyebrows squinted distrustfully. “Why do you keep bringing up Wakana, anyways?”

“N-n-no reason!” He looked between the two other boys helplessly.

The narrowed sideways glance Miyuki directed at him was somewhat malicious. “Perhaps he wants you to set them up on a date,” he said.

“No!” cried Youichi. Actually, yes, maybe! But that wasn’t the point.

Sawamura muttered, just barely audible. “I couldn’t do that to Wakana…”

“What was that?!”

“Nothing! Okay, Miyuki--” he transitioned smoothly, but that didn’t stop the controller that Youichi chucked at his head. He continued, nonetheless, “which game do you want to bring?”

“Mario Party. I like stealing all your stars.”

“Rude! I like setting all the computers as the worst characters and teaming up and kicking their butts.”

“Hahaha, like Waluigi?” Miyuki laughed, a sickeningly genuine laugh that made Youichi’s hairs stand on end. “Alright, that’s fair. As long as I still get to beat you in all the minigames.”

The air around Youichi was suffocating as he observed them, dancing around each other in their words and perfectly synchronised movements.

Are they… flirting?!

Sawamura grinned over his shoulder, fondly shaking his head at the same time. “You always think you can beat me at minigames.”

“Um, I do beat you at most of the mini games?” Miyuki sneered right on back.

“Mhmm…” Sawamura’s eyebrows rose, and his voice oozed with sarcasm, “Sure… okay…”

Miyuki snorted. “Yeah, okay, Sawamura! We’ll see!”

With an impact that felt like a cinderblock falling on his head, Youichi realized… they were flirting. Disgustingly so!

Miyuki stuffed the last of the Nintendo wires into his bag, which he slung over his shoulder. “Ready?” he asked Sawamura.

Youichi could feel the attention Miyuki was giving him through the other boy’s peripherals. Thick sweat beaded on the nape of Youichi’s neck. By now, Youichi’s game had been on the restart screen for almost a minute, mocking him. He hadn’t even noticed when he had died again. He hastily pressed Start again, fumbling over the buttons. Ignore them! he commanded himself.

Easier said than done.

“Yup!” Piped Sawamura, putting the games in his own bag. He was bringing a bag to Miyuki’s room? “Ah, wait, one more thing!”

The next thing that happened was the worst confirmation that Youichi never asked for.

He watched in horror, almost as if in slow-motion, Sawamura stride across the room and open the top drawer of his bureau. The same drawer in that had…

Youichi gulped.

In a complete mockery of his real life, Youichi’s character died again, crying out in agony from the screen. No… His mind was painfully whirring. Not this, he thought desperately. Anything but this! Certainly, Sawamura was looking for something else.

But then --

“Huh…” Sawamura burrowed around in the bureau, his head practically disappeared inside. Items scratched against the wood, and Youichi swore he heard the ruffling of cardboard. “That’s odd… I thought--” He stopped, poking his head back up to look at Youichi warily, then apologetically at Miyuki. His face has a pink tinge to it.

Frantically, Youichi’s eyes darted between Sawamura and Miyuki. No, his brain repeated like an incessant alarm. Nononononono. No! This could not mean what he thought he meant. His pocket felt like a million pounds in weight, and his heart was hammering so loudly in his ears that he was sure that Sawamura and Miyuki would hear it, that they would know…

An eyebrow rose on Miyuki’s impatient face. “Something wrong?”

A strangled sound caught in Sawamura’s throat, something between confusion and shock, but he ultimately slid the drawer closed. His hands came back empty; he hadn’t taken anything out. “Nope,” he said tightly, his lips thin. “It’s nothing, come on.” Slinging his bag over his shoulder, Sawamura crossed the room and guided Miyuki towards the door with him.

Though Miyuki looked puzzled, he followed.

“See ya tomorrow, Kuramochi-senpai.”

With a respectful nod, Sawamura closed the door behind them, leaving Youichi in a lonesome bewilderment. It was several long, silent moments before Youichi truly realized what had just happened.

“T...tomorrow?!”

What just happened?! Did he --? Are they --?! They’re not really --!! What did he mean, he’ll see me tomorrow?! He sleeps here, doesn’t he?! Where else would he sleep…?!

This was easily one of the most horrifying moments of Youichi’s life.

The last month or so ran through his head like a film in fast forward. A reel of battery interactions passed behind Youichi’s eyes like a searing, blinding projection. They had definitely become closer, perhaps closer than any other two people on Seidou’s baseball team. But wasn’t that just a part of the pitcher-catcher dynamic? Weren’t they just teammates? Possibly even friends? Sawamura was personable and passionate with just about everyone on the team, after all.

But then, there was Miyuki.

Miyuki Kazuya -- as he was called by one particular individual -- who would back up off the edge a cliff before another human being got too close to him, was a different matter entirely. Yet, there he had been, in this very room, spending a surplus amount of time with a person when he was not obligated to do so.

I’m so stupid.

When the truth dawned on him, crept up on him like Death, a true enlightenment of the worst kind, Youichi nearly fainted. How could he have been so oblivious?

Sawamura Eijun and Miyuki Kazuya were sleeping together, and Youichi was an idiot.

He also had their last condom in his pocket.

Needless to say, Youichi got very little sleep that night, let alone actually beat his game. He tossed and he turned, trying to block out the thoughts that threatened to enter his dreams. There were certain things Youichi never wanted to think about, never wanted to deal with, and Sawamura Eijun and Miyuki Kazuya sharing a sexual relationship was definitely at the top of the list.

True to his farewell, Sawamura never did return to their own dorm room that evening. Which meant, Youichi presumed, that he was currently asleep in Miyuki’s bed. With Miyuki. Together, in one bed.

Probably naked.

Youichi slammed his head into his pillow repeatedly. His smothered his face within the mattress and screamed into it.

Everything was just so overwhelming. First there was the fact that Sawamura was sexually active at all. Even that alone was enough to make Youichi seethe, because he should not have popped his cherry before his senior. Before Youichi, anyways. Next, the amount of condoms that were missing from that box… Then, the size? Was Youichi supposed to believe that Sawamura was an XL, however big that was?

How big is that, anyways?

All these things Youichi never wanted to think about, he was now thinking about incessantly. It was terrible. Honestly, it downright sucked. Why couldn’t his brain obey him? Why couldn’t he just fall asleep and pretend like this was all some awful dream. Instead, his mind was a wheel of Sawamura and Miyuki images, not to mention all the questions and self-doubt that Youichi was currently experiencing.

He had enough to worry about just revolving around baseball, now he had to suddenly question everything he thought he had known about sex and relationships.

...Guys need to use condoms?

Seidou High School: known for its baseball, not so much its sexual education.

And he couldn’t exactly talk to anyone about it, could he?

It wasn’t that his friends and teammates were prudes, far from it. They were teenage boys, and jocks at that. Many conversations in the locker rooms involved girls, girl parts, and otherwise foul language. Some of the boys even had girlfriends, and things were definitely discussed.

But this was still a high school baseball team, a very heterosexual dominated area.

As far as he knew, Sawamura and Miyuki were keeping their relationship under wraps. Youichi wasn’t about to go blabbing to everyone what he’d found. Maybe if he still thought Sawamura was fooling around with some Unnamed Girl, but now? Youichi definitely wasn’t so sure.

The longer his eyes remained open to the dark void that was his empty room, empty without Sawamura, the more Youichi wondered…

Was it really so shocking?

Youichi considered himself pretty close to both boys in question, though perhaps rather reluctantly. One was his loud, sensitive roommate. The other was his snarky, insensitive batchmate. Together, they were the most irritating people in his life, but also the most constant. If they didn’t want people to know, Youichi would respect their privacy. That was easy enough for him to understand.

What he didn’t understand was, if they were so perpetual to him, how did he miss all the signs?

That reel in his mind had slowed, and Youichi could observe the details.

Sawamura and Miyuki always looked happiest when they played baseball, but when played baseball together, they looked euphoric. Off the field, Youichi could confirm that they probably smiled the most in each other’s company. Okay, besides Chris-senpai’s, but that was a completely different kind of smile. It was all in the smiles.

Those should have been the biggest giveaway. Just that Miyuki would smile, not smirk, whenever Sawamura made a fool of himself, or hassled his catcher, was rare enough. An expression of bliss without the usual malice. And Sawamura, who was indeed a little shit, still tended to show his seniors a fair amount of respect. Not Miyuki, though. Miyuki was his partner, in every sense of the word, and Sawamura had treated him as such since Day One. They still bickered, but now, Youichi wondered if that was any different from the blatant flirting they had flaunted that evening.

Next time he saw them, he would pay more attention. Maybe they were just bickering, as usual, being their typical dumb selves. Youichi kind of hoped that was the case. Otherwise, he’d see them as a couple from this day forward. Just as they became twice as effective on the diamond as a battery, they’d become twice as annoying. Their interactions were bound to illicit more attention and different reactions from him.

From now on, he’d be more observant of them, whether he wanted to be or not.

Despite the very little sleep Youichi acquired, the sun rose the next morning. He had to climb down from his bunk, over Sawamura’s empty bed, put some shoes on, wash up, and go to breakfast. Even if the thought of seeing Sawamura and Miyuki in the cafeteria made him feel a little queazy…

Since Youichi had nothing better to do (sleep, for example), he went to the cafeteria as soon as it opened. Therefore, he was the first one there. Greeting the chefs with a good morning, Youichi just got some white rice and eggs. It was about as much as his weak stomach could handle that morning. No doubt his exhaustion showed. One glance in the mirror before he left his dorm room alerted Youichi to the dark circles under his eyes. Whatever. What could he do? The day was already here.

Other team members started to filter into the mess hall, Youichi’s batchmates greeting him, some sitting beside him. “You look like death,” Maezono said matter-of-factly. Youichi merely snapped at him to shut it and eat his damn breakfast. If anyone asked him where his boisterous roommate was, Youichi conveniently shoved food into his mouth, subduing an appetite he barely had.

Just as he expected, they entered the cafeteria together, chortling over an inside joke.

“It’s not that you play as Peach,” Sawamura was saying, “she suits you. It’s that you win with Peach.”

“Suits me?” Miyuki’s eyebrows rose, “and what is that supposed to mean?”

“Just that, you know, Peach is the capable leader of a kingdom and you’re the captain of a team.”

“...Oh.”

“But also that sometimes she needs a big strong hero to save the day! I mean, win the game! Get it? Did you get that? I play as Mario. It’s a metaph--”

“No yeah I got it, Sawamura.”

Youichi’s eyes followed Sawamura and Miyuki from the entrance to the foodline, chirping at each other like innocent morning birds. Not like the promiscuous rabbits Youichi knew them to be. Nobody else probably had any suspicion that they were both coming from the same room. They spent so much time together anyways, nobody thought anything of it. Damn! It was the perfect con.

At another table across from where Youichi sat, they sat together. Directly next to each other, unnecessarily close. Their hips twisted towards each other, easier for their conversation to continue, for which Youichi perked up his ears to overhear.

“So much for being a ‘hero’ last night. Even the computers beat you…”

“Hey, I didn’t lose! Those bonus stars were rigged!”

“Don’t sulk! You got the pity star bonus, remember?”

Sawamura grimaced while Miyuki cackled. “I swear I beat everyone else at minigames! You cheat!”

“How do I cheat?”

“You play as the princess and bribe the games’ citizens and judges to favor you, obviously.”

“Wh… Yes. You caught me. That is what I do. I invoke the Power of Peach.”

“See? I knew it! You’re so suspicious!”

Youichi thought he felt bile rising up his throat. What a horrible display of unabashed flirting! Looking around, Youichi gaped at how everyone wasn’t as appalled as he was. How was this going over their heads?! Did they need a million arrows pointing down at the two boys, signs blaring in neon lights that said HEY, WE’RE DATING! BOYFRIENDS, RIGHT HERE! CHECK IT OUT! And yet, nobody paid the couple any mind.

Sawamura and Miyuki flourished in their own little world, while the team remained in blissful ignorance, and Youichi’s soul disintegrated in purgatory.

“Kuramochi!”

“Wh--!” He jumped so violently that he jostled the whole table, evoking jeers from his teammates. When he wiped the yoke from his chin, he looked up to see Miyuki twisted around in his chair, smugly regarding Youichi while Sawamura glared at him.

“Has Sawamura ever beaten you in Mario Party?”

“I have!” Sawamura proclaimed confidently. “I totally have! Don’t lie, Kuramochi-senpai! A higher power is watching you!”

Miyuki pushed his face. “Shut up, Sawamura.”

“Ah… hahaha… m-me??” Kuramochi cleared his throat, which all of a sudden felt very dry. “Of course not--” “LIAR!” “--but I will admit, he was a worthy adversary. Always beat Masuko-senpai and everyone else that came over…” His words faded out with his thoughts. Another revelation entered his mind, one that drew Youichi’s eyes from Miyuki’s face to his crotch.

Vaguely aware that the conversation was continuing without him, a whole coop of players now engaged about Mario Party and Sawamura’s skills, Youichi attention became focused elsewhere. It had hit him, suddenly; he remembered.

He still had their condom in his pocket.

And Sawamura had had the condoms, hadn’t he? That would make them for Sawamura, to fit Sawamura. So did that mean that Miyuki…? It must have. Apparently, Miyuki was catching Sawamura’s balls off the field as well. Remembering the condom’s size, Kuramochi gulped, and his eyes widened in sympathetic horror.

XL… Extra Large?! Wouldn’t that hurt like hell!?

Suddenly, Youichi felt slightly less irritated by Miyuki. He felt something between pity and admiration that the boy could still walk straight.

“Kuramochi…?”

Blinking, Youichi found Miyuki staring at him, looking worried. Around them, Sawamura defended his skills by claiming that because Miyuki played as Peach, he let him win, because Sawamura was a chivalrous person. And -- “What’s wrong with Peach?!” Nobody else seemed to notice that Youichi had started sweating, the warm blood churning red into his face.

“I’m getting more food!” Youichi abruptly declared, standing. Nobody cared, but if he stuffed things in his mouth, he wouldn’t have to speak.

Miyuki followed him.

“Kuramochi?” His voice came hushedly from behind Youichi, who was getting more rice. “Have you been feeling alright? You’ve been acting kinda… I mean, if you’re sick--”

“I’m fine!!!” Youichi tried to keep his voice even. Breathe in and out, he reminded himself. He was acting like a such a fool, he was making Miyuki worry about his condition, when really, it was Youichi who should be worried about the other boy. As subtly as he could, Youichi leaned back and peered down at Miyuki’s ass. “What about you? Are you alright?”

Squinting at him, Miyuki took a step back. “...Yeah? Why?”

“Uh!! Just, you know, if you’re like… sore or anything, take it easy…”

A nerve in Miyuki’s face twitched. “Sore from what?”

“Just… life…?” No, that was a dumb thing to say. “N-nevermind…!”

“Okay…” said Miyuki, turning away. Youichi could tell he wasn’t convinced about anything. When they both turned around, they witnessed Sawamura caught in a fray of very strong opinions about Mario Party. Miyuki sighed, and Youichi’s eyes wandered to the boy’s butt again.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see. It’s a nice ass, was all he took away, but there was nothing that suggested that it was any sort of pain. Then again, it was hard to tell without X-Ray vision when a pair of sweatpants and boxers were blocking a clear view.

Before Youichi knew what he was doing, he was pulling out Miyuki’s chair for him, saying “Don’t overexert yourself.”

This earned him a very long, almost offended glare from Miyuki. “Umm… okay…?” Even Sawamura’s attention snapped towards them, and his eyes at Youichi weren’t that friendly either.

“Uh…. yeah.” Was all Youichi had to say in his defense. He was being irrational, he knew that. But he was sleep-deprived and scandalized; he couldn’t help the crazy things he was doing. Besides, would they even have had sex last night when Youichi had stolen their last condom? For Miyuki’s sake, he certainly hoped not. How could he be sure? If he couldn’t tell by sight, maybe another sense?

Before he could control his body, Youichi unwittingly leaned forward and sniffed the air around Miyuki. What did sex smell like, anyways? There wasn’t any unusual scent, that he could tell…

“Did you just smell me?”

Oops. “N-no?!” Youichi jumped away, but Miyuki was still staring at him, wide-eyed and disturbed. “I was just--!”

“Yes you did,” Miyuki leaned as far away from Kuramochi as he could without falling off his chair. “Kuramochi what is going on?”

Waving his hands frantically in front of himself, Youichi pleaded. “No no no I swear I didn’t!”

This was perhaps the most irritated Miyuki had ever been with him.“Fine, whatever. Geesh, you’re acting weird today…”

“I’m not! I’m just trying to be considerate! You know what, forget it!”

He stormed out of the cafeteria, and he caught the sight of Miyuki and Sawamura exchanging concerned looks in his peripherals.

Maybe it wasn’t even that big, Youichi thought to calm himself. These things tended to cater to men’s egos, and Extra Large might actually be… well, not that big! There was only one way for Youichi to find out, though.

Meandering around hallways while he cooled his head, Youichi eventually wandered into a bathroom. Thankfully, it was empty, not that it made too much of a difference. After relieving himself at a urinal, which he realized that he needed to do anyways, Youichi went into one of the stalls and locked the door. Then, he reached into his pocket, and brought out the condom.

It didn’t… look very big. The ring was somewhat visible through the packet, and it looked as big as the hole created when Youichi made his thumb and index finger into a circle. Though, he realized they were also meant to stretch, remembering the demonstration in his first year sex-ed class.

When he went to open the packet, Youichi’s fingers hesitated. This was stupid, wasn’t it? Is this stupid? Opening a condom just to try it on, when he should be returning it to its owner. What if he opened it and didn’t know what to do with it. Don’t be stupid, he reminded himself, you just roll it on! But why? Just to check his size? To check if he constituted as an XL? Was that really worth wasting Sawamura’s last condom….

Screw it, I’ll buy him some more.

Tearing open the plastic, Youichi pulled out the latex condom, which weighed about nothing in his palm, and pocketing the torn packet without a second thought. He unzipped his pants, pulled them and his boxers down just low enough that he could reach his dick, which was, well… Now that he was looking down at himself, he realized he wasn’t exactly aroused by anything, was he? He wasn’t sure if condoms worked the same if a guy was limp or not. Obviously, they were supposed to go on an erection, but… Um…

At least he was a teenage boy, and it didn’t take much to work him up a little bit. Just a little bit of stroking did the trick, and Youichi wracked his brain to remember that health class demonstration. Why did they have to use a banana? Dicks were nothing like bananas, really. Anyways, Just start at the top and roll it down. Youichi did that, and when he reached his base with the latex, he gasped. This… Doesn’t feel right…

………….It didn’t fit.

Sawamura Eijun had a bigger penis than him.

Youichi barely paid attention in his classes that day. It was like trying to fall asleep all over again. To make matters worse, his eyes kept involuntarily shifting over to Miyuki, where the other boy sat by the window. Miyuki always stiffened under his gaze, visibly distressed.

Then Youichi just felt guilty. He definitely didn’t want to make Miyuki feel uncomfortable.

Rather, he kind of wanted to clap a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder and tell him It’s OK to be Gay! They were friends, weren’t they? It was always hard to tell with Miyuki, but Youichi considered himself one of the fortunate ones to crack through the barrier. Yet, Miyuki opted to leave Youichi in dark about this aspect of his life. Did he think Youichi was a bigot? Because Youichi certainly was not. He could even appreciate boys for what they're worth. After all, he spent a considerable amount of time around the Kominato brothers, who anyone could admit were the epitome of charm. Well, Ryou was maybe more terrifying than he was cute, but that was beside the point.

There were plenty of other reasons to find Miyuki Kazuya disgraceful other than his sexuality, like his personality, and his braying horse laughter.

Other boys on the team, though…

Well, it wasn’t that Youichi had ever witnessed anyone at Seidou being blatantly homophobic. He had a vague knowledge of past teammates, second stringers that he never shared too much time with, and just sprinkle of classmates here and there, that identified as queer in some form or another.

Seidou was a team, a mostly supportive team, but they were also composed of high school boys. High school boys could be… Well, they could say some rude things. Not that Youichi would ever tell Miyuki, but he’d be lying if he’d never heard inappropriate remarks behind Miyuki’s back. Miyuki had grown accustomed to the “Pretty Boy” jabs said to his face, and they never seemed to bother him too much. After all, Miyuki was vain, and knew that he was attractive.

Besides that, though, Miyuki knew he had a habit of rubbing people the wrong way. Youichi often reminded him. That, though, sometimes earned him some disrespect from teammates behind the scenes. The term DSL sometimes came around, for example, and not as a compliment.

Youichi suddenly felt a new kind of illness, a sickening boil in his stomach. He never personally understood some boys’ incline to use those sort of labels to drag a person. Usually Youichi, whenever he had to hear comments like those, had to tell the kids to stuff something sharp down in their traps. Since Miyuki became captain, though, he commanded a newfound respect from many of those players.

Still… resentments could linger.

Sawamura luckily didn’t suffer from the same kind of insults. The bulk of negative comments people had to say about Sawamura Eijun was that he was an idiot, which he was, and they often said it to his face. Hell, the kid usually found a way to take it as a compliment.

If anyone ever gave Sawamura a hard time for something as stupid as who he chose to date -- even if that person was a bastard like Miyuki -- Youichi would kick their ass into another dimension.

Then again, maybe the couple wasn’t as worried as Youichi. Sawamura was such an optimist, he might have rubbed off on Miyuki. While they hadn’t officially come out to anyone, so far as Youichi knew, they also weren’t putting in any effort to distance themselves from each other. Maybe they were just too horny to stand more than a foot from each other. Or, maybe, they just felt most content around each other.

When the lunch bell rang, Youichi realized he hadn’t heard a goddamn thing that morning.

He’d have to get over this. Just move on with your life; you’re not their keeper, he reminded himself, getting up with the rest of the students. He needed a drink. He probably needed a really strong drink, but he’d compensate with some soda. To the vending machines he went, where a flock of batchmates, from both the team and class, had also congregated during their lunch period.

“Hey guys!” He gave the group half a wave, which they returned with smiles. This is what he needed. To be among people that were neither Miyuki nor Sawamura.

Maezono, Shirasu, and Yui were among the group. A couple other kids from different classes than Youichi’s was with them. They were all discussing such beautifully innocent high school things. Baseball… homework… television shows… video games… Youichi was so thankful.

“The Pokey Pummel always gets me,” Maezono was saying, quite seriously.

“What? That’s an easy one!” said Shirasu. “It’s all in the wrist.” He demonstrated hitting a button on a controller at rapid succession.

“I’m pretty good at… Uh, crap, I forget its name,” said Yui, “but any race one I’m pretty pro at. And I always play as Toadette!”

Fuckin’ Mario Party… Youichi inserted a coin into the vending machine and selected his drink.

“In the end, though, it’s all about the board,” provided one of their other classmates. Tanaka, was it?

“Yeah, that’s where you get all the stars.”

“By stealing,” said Maezono, as if he disapproved.

“That’s the best part!” argued Yui, twiddling her fingers mischievously.

“Kuramochi,” Shirasu started, “you have some of the games, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Youichi popped the cap on his soda, sipping the foam. “Well,” he added off-handedly, “it’s in Miyuki’s room right now.”

“Miyuki’s?” Maezono’s face soured.

“Hmmm, I think I want one of those,” said Yui as she watched Youichi take another swig of his soda. “Yeah, I do.”

She started to reach into her bag for chance, but Youichi held up a hand to stop her. “I’ve got this,” he assured her with a grin. Patting down one of his pockets -- Oops, there’s no change in that one. He dug his hand into the other.

The next series of events proved that Fate was against Youichi.

“Oh, speak of the -- Oi, Miyuki!!” One of the other boys hollered, waving Miyuki down.

Youichi’s head whipped up, and sure enough, there was Miyuki, stopped in his track by the voice that called out his name. Wherever the boy had been headed would wait, for he reluctantly turned heel and headed toward their group at the vending machine.

All of this happened in quick succession. Youichi was too distracted that he didn’t immediately notice that what he pulled out of his other pocket was not change at all. When he did realize what was in his grasp, he panicked, and he fumbled.

“Can we borrow Mario Party later?”

And with one hand occupied with a soda can, it was hard to recover the wrapper falling out of his hand. It was too late.

“Well, sure, but it’s even not mine, it’s--”

Then it landed on the ground.

Everyone stopped.

Youichi dared not move, but perhaps he should have scrambled for it.

Now, Yui blinked down at it, not fully aware of what she was looking at yet. “Oh,” she bent over and picked it up with curiosity, then read the label. “...Oh!”

The boys in the circle, save for Youichi and Miyuki, all leaned in to inspect the item in Yui’s hand, until there was a combined chorus of “Holy shit…!”

“K… Kuramochi?!” Maezono gasped. “Is this…? Did you….? Are you…?!”

“Does that say Extra Large?” one of them asked. Everyone double-checked the label, then all their eyes redirected to Youichi’s crotch.

Everyone’s, that is, except for Miyuki, whose mouth was agape as he stared at the condom wrapper, one for a very familiar size and brand. Both he and Youichi were frozen. Youichi, because he was busted, and Miyuki because he busted Youichi. Surprisingly, though, Miyuki looked more alarmed than anything. His lips flattened together in reprimand, his fists trembling at his sides, but his eyes started flitting nervously between the wrapper and Youichi, almost like a silent beg.

Youichi snatched the wrapper back, stuffing it in his pocket. “Never mind that!” He said. Assumptions had already been made, though.

“Kuramochi, you dog! Who knew?!”

“Where’d you get it?!”

“It was open, so, y’know… did ya?”

“With who?!”

They were all looking at him rather expectantly. They really assumed the condom was his, that he had even used it…! Admiration and envy glimmered in the other boys’ eyes.

Maezono clapped a heavy hand on Youichi’s back, making him jump. His grin was wide and awed. “Congratulations, Kuramochi! You deserve to unwind every now and then!”

“So who’s the lucky lady?”

“Eep!” Yui was bright scarlet, obviously uncomfortable with all the sudden surge of masculinity and testosterone. “I’m gonna…! Yeah, I’m just gonna… Okay bye!” She slinked away, hissing a “Yikes!” Under her breath.

Nobody truly noticed when Miyuki’s silence, despite the lack of a snide remark from him being rare. Not even Youichi, really. Youichi was all of a sudden overwhelmed by the attention, the new esteem his teammates were regarding him. High school boys were so starved and curious that they tended to worship those who had seen the light. It made Youichi feel like he had a new power over them.

He kinda liked it.

“Y… You caught me! Kyahaha!” He held up the wrapper -- no point in hiding it anymore -- and showed it off. “It’s just as you think!”

Without giving them a chance to ask more questions, he pocketed the wrapper and sauntered off, stretching his arms behind his head. They cried after him, but he kept his pace hasty. The only hindrance was the feeling of Miyuki’s eyes drilling flaming pits into the back of his head.

For the rest of the day, Youichi felt much more than just one pair of eyes on him.

Apparently, witnesses from earlier were blabbermouths and gossips. Word travelled fast. Boys kept leering at Youichi and giving him winks and thumbs up. Girls kept blushing and side-stepping him, or they would look at him with a newfound animosity. After a while, Youichi started to feel thankful for the apathetic and the ignorant towards the situation.

Maezono kept asking him, whenever they saw each other, for the who and the when.

“Sorry, Zono,” Youichi would smirk, ignoring the guilty hammering in his chest. “I’m a gentleman. I don’t kiss and tell, kyaha!”

The condom wrapper remained in his pocket, like a brick of lies.

People were bound to discover the truth eventually. Someone could ask every girl in the school and realize that none of them had slept with Youichi! They’d burn him at the stake! But what he could say now? Sorry, people, I’m not the Romeo you think. The not-virgin you’re looking for is Sawamura Eijun.

As if anyone would believe that, even if Youichi felt like disclosing that information.

Which he didn’t.

I could have told them all the truth, he rationalized, because did he really need all the attention? The smirk on his lips whenever anyone praised him suggested that he wasn’t all that bothered, but Youichi shrugged that detail aside. He was doing this for Miyuki and Sawamura’s sake, in order to keep their secret. That didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy some of the side effects.

“K-Kuramochi-kun!”

Youichi whipped around at the sweet coo of a girl’s voice.

He had been on his way to practice, but now he was facing a very cute girl from the class next to his, slowing her jog to catch up with him. Kurumi Kyouko, Youichi recalled, remembering her short but athletic stature and her shortly cropped hair. They had been in each other’s class before, and sure, they got along and had many mutual friends, but they hardly surpassed acquaintances status with each other. What did she want with him suddenly?

“Kurumi-san?”

“Hey!” Kurumi beamed at him, hands on her hips. “Are you headed to practice?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Gee, you guys practice a lot.” She bit her lip for a moment. “Are there any weekends you’re not at practice?”

“Uhh…” Why is she asking? Youichi wondered. “On Saturdays we tend to wrap up pretty early… Why?”

“Oh, great! Because if you’re not doing anything that night, I was thinking we could…” She tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. Her face was slightly pink, and Youichi adored it. “Do something…?”

Was she… IS SHE ASKING ME OUT?!

It took all the strength in his body to keep him from collapsing in shock. This had never happened to him before! A girl? Was asking him out? Shivers ran over his skin, his face burned, and his pulse quickened. Youichi was over the moon with both shock and euphoria. How? Why?! He shook his head; it didn’t matter! Kurumi was beautiful and actually interested in him! He’d praise this day for the rest of his life.

When he realized he hadn’t given her an answer yet, Youichi spluttered to gain control of his thoughts. “Uh, yeah!! Sure, that sounds--!” Be cool, he reminded himself, “I mean, yeah whatever, that’d be cool…”

Beaming, Kurumi sighed in relief. “Great! I can’t wait.” Then, she stepped forwards. “One question, though...”

Youichi gulped. “Yeah?”

Checking their surroundings, which was only the two of them in one of the courtyards, Kurumi leaned forwards. She got so close, and Youichi thought he’d burn her if she got to close. When she spoke, her voice was just above a whisper. “...Do you have more?”

“...M...more?”

“Mhm, I’m kinda totally broke right now. I mean, I could manage it if we needed to. I’m not even that big a fan of Okamoto. Ever tried Sagami?”

“S… Sagami?” What.

“I know they don’t have the kind of brand loyalty as Okamoto does, but they’re really good! They’re so thin you don’t even know they’re there! I don’t know how they do it, it’s like magic!”

Youichi felt his jaw drop. There was a girl in front of him, a cute girl, talking very openly and very plainly about condoms. Like an expert! Clearly, she was familiar with condoms and sex, and thought Youichi was, too. He had no idea Kurumi had so much experience. Just how many people at Seidou were having sex while he wasn’t?!

“I don’t know if they come in XL,” she said, blushing excitedly at the thought. “But, you know, they’re pretty stretchy…”

That’s what this whole thing was about?! Youichi felt like he couldn’t breathe. Her only problem was that Youichi didn’t have even a fraction of the experience that she was after.

But I can’t tell her that!

“O-on second thought!” He stammered, “I think we have doubt practice this Saturday! Yeah, definitely! And I should really hurry before I’m late! It was nice talking to you! See ya -- but not Saturday. Bye!!”

Youichi practically sprinted away, leaving Kurumi Kyouko dumbfounded in his wake.

“You alright, Kuramochi?” someone asked when he walked into practice. “You seem out breath--”

“I’m fine!” snapped Youichi, and everyone instantly backed off. He warmed up with a volatile aura around him, and nobody approached him.

Why did I say no? He asked himself over and over. Had he not been previously moping because he was still a virgin? Had he not been going to accept the invitation to a simple date? If he had accepted Kurumi’s invitation, there would have possibly been fact behind the rumors currently circulating Youichi. Didn’t he want that? He did, or at least, he thought he had. He fantasized about sex a lot, as much as any boy his age, probably. There there she had been, offering him the opportunity. But Youichi couldn’t bring himself to go there.

It was too fast, wasn’t it? Did people just jump into sexual relationships like that? Youichi suddenly recognized that he didn’t want that. Did that make him lame? Those boys had treated him like their hero earlier that day, and now he felt like he had let them down.

He shook his head at the thought.

Was he afraid she’d notice his inexperience? Or was he just afraid of the experience itself?

Sex was kind of terrifying, he realized.

Just then, a hand grabbed his arm, and Youichi was dragged behind the bullpen.

“Wh--?!”

It was Miyuki. He pulled them out of sight from the rest of the team, behind the wooden wall of the bullpen, and leaned in closely to Youichi with a solemn expression.

“Where did you get that condom?”

Crap.

“Wh-what?” Youichi stuttered and acted defensive. “Th… that’s none of your business!”

“It wasn’t yours, was it?”

Sweat was definitely forming around Youichi’s brow, and he hadn’t even started practice yet. “What?” he repeated. “I don’t know what you’re talking about! I am a sexually active teenager that buys his own condoms!”

The tired face Miyuki made was so skeptically disbelieving that Youichi might have been offended. “Nice try. You got it from Sawamura, didn’t you?”

“M-me?! What… No!! Frankly, to be honest, how do I know you didn’t get it from Sawamura? Huh?!” That hadn’t even made sense.

But Youichi was kidding himself, and guilt started to suppress him. When he looked at Miyuki, who seemed on edge, Youichi backed down. Miyuki’s words were smug, but his demeanor was rather restrained. He almost looked nervous.

“F-fine.” Youichi conceded, “Alright? I went through his stuff and found them.”

Miyuki chewed on his bottom lip. “...And?”

“Well, shit, I was just looking for that game and they were just in his drawer!”

“Ugh…” Miyuki’s sigh was exasperated but not in the least surprised, and he leaned against the wall, glaring at the dirt at their feet. “That idiot, I’m gonna kill him…”

“Yeah!” Youichi snapped. “Seriously, what if somebody else besides me had found them?!”

A dreadful silence fell between them. Youichi frowned and scanned Miyuki for signs of life.

The other boy looked paler than usual. “You’re… you’re not going to tell people, are you?”

At that, Youichi’s scowl melted.

“Oi!” Maezono was shouting their names suddenly. “Kuramochi and Miyuki! Stop canoodling over there and get on the field!” His words earned him some chuckles from teammates.

Miyuki’s eyes shifted toward the voice, and Youichi growled. About to leave, Miyuki was stopped by Youichi’s hand on his arm. Youichi meant it to be an encouraging gesture. Their eyes met each other’s, and Youichi regarded him seriously.

“Meet me in your room after practice,” said Youichi. Miyuki blinked at him, somewhat perplexed, and started to open his mouth.

“What are you two doing?!”

Sawamura had suddenly dashed behind the wooden wall and regarded the pair of them suspiciously. His eyes honed on where Youichi had his hand on Miyuki. Instantly, Youichi quickly drew it away, and tried to look natural. So he whistled, and didn’t end up looking very natural at all.

Miyuki merely flicked Sawamura in the forehead, who yelped. “Nothing,” was all he said as he strode past the younger boy. “Come on, we’re in the bullpen today.”

Before he followed, Sawamura turned and fixed Youichi with an uncharacteristically nasty glare, so intense that it startled Youichi. With a final, narrowed squint, Sawamura ran after Miyuki, leaving Youichi to wonder what the hell that was all about. Clearly, Sawamura hadn’t pieced together the same puzzle that Miyuki had.

“Psh...” Punk. Youichi grabbed a bat and went to practice.

He’d never been so grateful to be at practice. Baseball was the best way to take his mind off this whole debacle. Didn’t have to think about sex, or condoms, or Kururi Kyouko, or what he’d tell the boys who kept asking him for girl advice. Just about good ol’ baseball.

However, whenever he took a breather, his eyes kept wandering over to the bullpen. Over there, he witnessed something special amidst the array of pitchers and catchers. Miyuki was catching for Sawamura, and the thrill of that was evident between them.

Youichi wondered if Miyuki knew when his personal feelings entered the game.

As he watched them, he noticed things that should have stuck out to him before. Like how they would stand just a little bit closer to each other, speak a little more often just between each other, smile a little brighter for the other. Small, subtle signs that pointed to how much they wanted each other to succeed. Maybe not so subtle in Sawamura’s case.

Miyuki only ever showed his favoritism on his face and with his words. Youichi was pretty sure he was unaware of whenever he did. Affectionate looks that Miyuki Kazuya never awarded any other player, only for Sawamura Eijun.

Sure, as a catcher and as a captain, Miyuki wanted both Furuya and Nori to succeed as much as any of his other teammates. But… as a teenage boy with a crush, he probably had his own dreams for who would become the team’s ace. The player that would stand across from him every game until he graduated.

Ouch, Youichi thought suddenly. He’d hate to be one of the poor saps that had to stick around Sawamura once Miyuki eventually graduated. Even someone as optimistic as Sawamura would feel that blow. Would they even stay together? Sawamura was naive, anyways, so maybe he just assumed. Surely, though, they realized going into this that there would come a time they would have to part ways…

WHY AM I THINKING SO HARD ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP?! Seriously, it was making Youichi depressed at this point.

Because… Another voice in his head rang out. Because theirs was the kind of relationship he wanted before he took that next step.

As soon as Youichi changed out of his uniform and washed up, he headed straight for Miyuki’s room. They’d tried not to interact too much during practice, putting a distance between themselves. Miyuki opted to stick out the afternoon with Sawamura, but Youichi wasn’t sure if they had communicated about the situation at hand.

Youichi had a feeling that, in his dumb, captain nature, Miyuki hadn’t said anything to Sawamura so that the boy could only focus on his pitching. They’re both idiots, Youichi reasoned.

His frustration showed when he banged violently on Miyuki’s door.

Obviously, Miyuki had been waiting, and he opened the door instantly. Without an invitation, Youichi strolled in and stood at the center of the room, addressing Miyuki bluntly.

“I know about you and Sawamura.”

Miyuki blinked, closing the door behind him. “Yeah, I figured.”

“How did you figure?!”

“Well,” Miyuki’s lips curled, “you kept staring at my ass, and I know you weren’t checking me out…”

Youichi winced. “Geesh… Yeah, no, I definitely wasn’t.”

“That, and with the whole far-fetched ‘oh, of course it’s mine!’ act.”

“Fuck you, it’s not that far-fetched!” Miyuki just laughed at him for that notion. “Fuck you! I covered for you! What else was I supposed to say, other than say it was mine?! Now everyone’s gunning for me. Just before practice, a girl wanted to hook up with me!”

“Hahahahaha! Oh, what a struggle your life has become!”

“It is, it really is! And this is all your fault! Yours and Sawamura’s!”

“No way! You did this to yourself, idiot.”

“Me?!” Youichi tried to keep his voice low, but Miyuki always knew how to raise his temper. “You’re dating the idiot! Sawamura kept those things in the most obvious place! His top drawer?!”

“Haha, yeah…” Finally, Miyuki’s laughter died out. “That’s no good. He really is an idiot.” He sat on the edge of his bed, leaning with his elbows on his knees. “So that’s why you lied earlier? About it being yours and using it?” He eyed Youichi, a hint of astoundment. “You really covered for us?”

“Yes,” said Youichi. That was certainly one of the reasons.

“So... you haven’t told anyone?” asked Miyuki.

“No,” Youichi assured. “I won’t, not if you don’t want me to.”

A long moment passed before Miyuki took a deep breath, lying back on his bed with his feet hanging off the edge, eyes towards the ceiling. And he exhaled. “I don’t.”

Youichi shared his breath. “...Okay. I won’t.”

Silence fell over them, and Youichi wasn’t sure what else could he say. He felt awkward, standing in the middle of the room, so he decided to join Miyuki on his bed. A respectable gap between them, Youichi gently sat on the edge. Miyuki remained on his back, staring above them.

“Hey,” Youichi started softly, “can I ask…”

“Hmm?”

“...How long?”

Miyuki’s eyes found him, but he didn’t budge. He pursed his lips, thinking, calculating… “About…” He held up his hands apart from each other in a measurement, “this big.”

At that point, Youichi would have welcomed Death. He felt his brain pop. “I MEANT -- NO!!! I MEAN SINCE WHEN, NOT FUCKIN’ THAT! DON’T TELL ME THAT.”

“Oh,” said Miyuki, half snorting. “Little over a month? Month and a half?”

Youichi’s eyes widened. “Shit, that long?! How many condoms were in that box?!”

Chuckling, Miyuki caused the mattress beneath them to vibrate slightly. “Well, we’ve only been doing it for like, three weeks. And there were twenty-four in that box.”

Eyebrows furrowed over Youichi’s eyes as he tried to do some mental math.

“Don’t hurt yourself, Kuramochi.”

“Shut up. Like three weeks, or actually three weeks?”

“Do you want specific dates?”

“You know specific dates?”

“Yes,” Miyuki smiled, and it was softer than his usual. “You remember everything for certain things.”

Youichi blushed something fierce. “Sh… D-don’t be lame…”

“Haha, you asked!”

“Well!” Kuramochi tried to regulate the blood flowing through his face. “I just feel… I felt kinda stupid I hadn’t realized.” When Miyuki rose an eyebrow, he expanded. “Just, like… Now that I know, it feels like it should have been obvious. You two are like… disgusting.” This got Miyuki to laugh. “I’m serious! It’s like you both kinda changed without me realizing. Do you even realize? Like, look at you. Using your words and shit. It’s a goddamn miracle.”

Caught in his blunder, Miyuki’s eyes shifted away, and his arms folded over his stomach. But, his mouth trembled with the threat of happiness.

“And it’s Sawamura,” Youichi added, “the loudest kid in the world. I’m amazed you’ve kept it a secret this long.”

“Haha, me too, honestly. But…” Miyuki solemnly shrugged against his mattress. “He understands. I think he kinda wishes we could be more open, but…”

“But… Sawamura never got trounced by his own teammates before,” Youichi provided hesitantly.

Miyuki looked over at him and, after a moment’s consideration, offered a melancholy smile. “Besides you, no.”

“Please! I go easy on him.” The tension eased a little, and Youichi relaxed onto the bed, leaning back on his hands. “Where is that brat, anyways?”

“Dunno,” said Miyuki. “He actually left practice pretty quickly today. Just said he was going back to his room.” Then, he actually huffed.

“Hyahaha!” Youichi observed the other boy beside him, including the prominent pout on Miyuki’s lips. It amused him. “You’ve really got it bad!”

Miyuki snapped at him and flushed. “Excuse me?”

“You.” Youichi leaned over and sneered in Miyuki’s face. “You’re not just dicking around. You’re like… smitten.”

Beneath him, Miyuki’s face went red as a cherry.

At that moment, Sawamura chose to burst through the door in a rush.

“Miyuki! Have you seen Kura--?”

He froze, taking in the sight before him: Youichi leaning over his blushing boyfriend, on his bed. Alone in his room. Sawamura’s eyes went wide, and Youichi could see Sawamura boil to rupture. There might as well have been steam coming off his head.

“I KNEW IT!” He exploded, pointing a very accusing, shaking, infuriated finger Youichi’s way. “You like Miyuki, don’t you?!”

The accusation felt like a lightening bolt, and Youichi jumped upright. “Wh-?! WHAT?!”

Miyuki rose to his feet to try and console his boyfriend. “Ei--”

“NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!” shouted Youichi.

“--Wow, really Kuramochi?”

Sawamura continued to seethe, though. “You were checking him out all morning! You pervert, I saw the look you were giving his butt! And then with the chair?! And then behind the bullpen?! What were you doing?! Just what are you trying to pull, Kuramochi-senpai!!”

This fucking moron. “I don’t like Miyuki, idiot!” Youichi spat, “You like Miyuki!”

Struck like a deer caught in the headlights, Sawamura’s eyes went wide and wild, frozen at his feet. He shuffled, trying to play it cool. And failing miserably. “WhHahaha?! Whaaaat…” He crossed his arms and rocked on his feet. Was this his form of playing it cool? “Nooo… That’s ridiculous…! I don’t--”

He stopped at the sensation of Miyuki’s palm smacking the back of his head.

“He knows.”

Blinking, Sawamura took a moment to process that. “...Oh.” Another moment. “Then okay, yes, I do like him.”

“Geez…” Youichi flopped back on the mattress. “That’s what you thought?!”

“Wait,” Sawamura started, the whole situation dawning on him. “You know?”

“Yes.”

“You know about…” he looked at Miyuki, then back at Youichi, then back at Miyuki.

“Yes.”

“How do you know?!”

“He found the condoms in your drawer, dummy,” explained Miyuki, giving Sawamura a very displeased and pointed look. “In your top drawer? Really?”

Rubbing the back of his head, Sawamura frowned bashfully. “Well… I didn’t expect -- Wait.” His attention zapped back to Youichi. His eyes narrowed. “You went snooping in my stuff?”

Busted… “Well,” Youichi tried, “that is to say… I was looking for my game! The one that you lost!”

“I didn’t lose it,” Sawamura reminded him, even-voiced. “You just went snooping.”

“I’m your senpai, I get a pass here!”

Shaking his head, even Sawamura knew that was an unacceptable excuse. “I’ve never snooped in your things before. We’re roommates! We’re supposed to trust each other!”

“That’s pretty low, Kuramochi…” Miyuki stood beside Sawamura, arms crossed and smirking. He was eating this up, obviously. Great, now they’d joined forces against him, and were making Youichi feel terrible.

“Okay, listen!” he reasoned, “I’m sorry! I think we’re missing the big point here! Which is you two! You’re not off the hook for lying to your roommate and vice captain! C’mere!”

He waved his hands, gesturing for them to sit on the floor in front of him. With an exchanged glance, they did.

“Now let’s get some things straight,” Youichi began. “Just because I know about you two doesn’t mean I wanna hear or see you kissing or anything else. The flirting is bad enough. And it has nothing to do with you both being dudes, it’s just because I think the two of you are the worst.”

Both of them frowned.

“Now, other than that,” He cleared his throat. “On a more serious note… Sawamura.”

“Yes!”

“Sawamura, you are like the stupid little brother I never wanted.”

“Thank you!!”

“No. Stop. Listen to me.” He closed his eyes, searching for his patience. “The fact that you’re that to me but having sex before me both terrifies and infuriates me. I kind of want to kick your ass--”

Sawamura gulped.

“-- but I won’t. Mostly because the fact that it’s with Miyuki makes me feel a lot better, because he’s not all that.” Ignoring Miyuki’s deepening frown, Youichi continued. “But as the stupid little brother I never wanted, I feel like I should also, like… congratulate you. So… Here.” He reached down and ruffled Sawamura’s hair, and dare he think it, the boy actually looked proud.

“Miyuki,” Youichi turned to the other boy, who perked up in anticipation. “I’m sorta happy for you too. May Sawamura have a more positive influence on your bitter soul. But mark my words,” Youichi’s voice lowered, “if you hurt this kid, I’ll fucking kick your ass!”

Surprisingly, Miyuki didn’t look scared at all. He looked endeared. “I know.”

Meanwhile, Sawamura looked close to tears, deeply moved by Youichi’s concern for him. “K-K-Kuramochi-sen--!”

“SAME GOES FOR YOU!” Youichi barked, “Respect your seniors! Especially the one you’re sleeping with! Don’t go doing stupid stuff like leaving your condoms around! Miyuki’s got enough to worry about besides you goofing off!”

Sawamura grabbed Miyuki’s hand with one of his and saluted with the other. “Y-yes sir!”

“Good.”

There was a pause, and then Miyuki quipped, “Did you just give us your blessing?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Youichi took a deep breath. “One more thing, though” and it was one of the important, making Youichi feel warm. “If you two ever wanted to flaunt your awful and cheesy relationship in front of anyone other than me… Uh, that is, if you two ever came out to anyone else, and maybe they didn’t take it as well… I would personally see to it that neither of you had to deal with it, and insure that those assholes receive an extensive level in tolerance from my fists. So… don’t worry about it, okay?”

After that, Sawamura really was crying. Even Miyuki was speechless.

“And, uh…” his voice faded. He started to really feel sappy. How could he conclude all that? “Anyways, haha… Just… yeah. And uh. Be safe?”

“Well how can we,” Miyuki teased, “if you keep stealing our condoms?”

“That’s enough,” Youichi rose his hand, blushing. “You’re dismissed.”

“This is my room!” laughed Miyuki.

“Yeah! Well!” Youichi’s eyes scanned the room, seeking salvation. They landed in front of the television, where his Nintendo was hooked up and had four controllers connected to it. “I just came here to kick your butts at Mario Party, anyways!”

He rose from the bed and transferred his rear to the floor, grabbing a controller. His ears were burning and he welcomed the distraction of gaming.

“Wait,” Miyuki piped, “hahhahahaha… we’ve got to wait until Eijun can see.”

Sawamura was wibbling, wiping tears from his eyes and snot from his face, and Miyuki was doing his best to control him. “K-kuramochi-senpai…!” he sobbed, “you’re a really great guy, you know! You can snoop all you want!”

“Get a grip, Sawamura,” Youichi jabbed half-heartedly, turning the game on.

“Now we better pay him back somehow, Sawamura,” said Miyuki snidely. “We’ve got to help Kuramochi with this whole ruse that he’s a Casanova on campus.”

“Kuramochi-senpai?! No way!”

“Watch it, Sawamura…!”

Youichi turned around to growl at them, but his temper died when he saw them bowing towards him in the middle of the room. Hands linked between each other, they lowered their noses to the floor, a real, grateful gesture.

They sang in unison. “Thank you for your discretion!”

All the blood in Youichi’s body raced to his face. How embarrassing! “Sh-shut up!” He snapped at them. “Get over here so I can kick both your asses in this stupid game!”

They did, sitting on either side of him, sandwiching him between their bodies tightly. The more he griped and groaned, the more they bumped and jostled him. But it wasn’t so bad, Youichi supposed. They didn’t even suggest playing the game as a team.

No, it wasn’t bad at all.

Then --

“Kuramochi-senpai,” Sawamura put a firm hand on his shoulder with an accompanying, very genuinely serious expression. “If you ever have any questions about how to--”

“FUCK OFF.”