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"It's you, it's always you."
Tsukishima was always fond of music. That's one of the reasons why he's always had his headphones on.
With everything going on in the world at the moment and with him being stuck at home, he seemingly picked up a new hobby over time, wanting to surprise you with a little something but he'll get back to that later.
The other reason is probably that he's not that much of a social butterfly either and most people don't talk to people wearing headphones unless they need something from them.
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"Here."
You hand him over something and he looks at you as if you'd grown an extra limb.
"What's this for?"
He asked, you weren't really close with Tsukishima, to be honest, but as one of the managers in training and (hopefully) his friend or acquaintance, it's your job to make sure that everyone's in a good condition or doing alright, to say the least.
"You look like you're about to either faint or suck other people's blood out from how pale you look. That thing probably has enough sugar to get you through your walk home."
It was a simple gesture of kindness without hoping for anything in return, he can tell that's how it is considering you two don't really talk often unless it's with the other first years.
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"If I'm ever gonna fall in love I know it's gon' be you."
His fingers probably hate him at this point with how often they get hurt and bruised from all the blocking that he's doing on the court.
The soft and gentle resonance of his voice matches the song's tone perfectly. His strumming might be a little slow and off due to his lack of experience but he's doing good for a beginner (he hopes).
He's bought extra strings in case he accidentally broke the ones that were currently on the guitar.
You weren't currently at home with him, literally speaking (he also hopes) and that made it easier for him to let it go when he makes a mistake.
It's not that he's not comfortable being human around you, it's just that he doesn't want to disappoint you in any way, shape, or form. Even if you said that you could never be disappointed in him, ever.
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It's you, it's always you.
Met a lot of people, but nobody feels like you.
He wishes he could say that it's embarrassing. That you should stop what you're doing but he didn't care what other people thought at the moment, he didn't have the heart to tell you off, and mostly because he just enjoys basking in the warmth of your affection.
It's only a bonus that you're doing it in front of his and your's friends.
"You're really lucky to have l/n-san, stingyshima."
The orange-haired man sighs as they sat down on the side of the gym, taking their break.
"I know. Don't you have someone too, a certain royal that easily acclimates to your needs perhaps?"
The blonde quips back but his fellow middle blocker just looks at him dumbfounded at his choice of words.
"Simpleton."
He muttered under his breathe before leaving but Hinata heard him either way and responded with an indignant "hey!".
The mundane gestures that you do every day from just greeting him, waving at him, giving him a pat on the shoulder, or keeping him company to giving him advice on how to improve his blocking, he really appreciates it.
Because it feels different to him when you do it compare to other people in the team or just other people in general.
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"So, please, don't break my heart."
"Don't tear me apart."
He would never say these words out loud though. He's too prideful for that to his dismay. It's that certain type of vulnerability that he doesn't think he's ever capable enough of showing to anyone for as long as he lives, unfortunately.
"I know how it starts."
"Trust me, I've been broken before."
Most of the time, when a relationship fails it's due to either miscommunication or lack of communication from both parties. It takes two to tango as they say and the same goes for relationships.
So he simply can't blame himself for it all or the other person for them not working out. That being said he thinks that there's always something that he could've done or done better to make the other person stay.
"Don't break me again."
"I am delicate."
He thinks it's not fair for you to feel like you're walking on eggshells around him when you did absolutely nothing to make him the way he was when you two first began going out.
He hates being treated like glass. Tsukishima can give shit and he also knows how to take it but you don't want to cross the line and actually hurt his feelings or bring up something he might be insecure about.
You know he doesn't want to be treated like a package with a sticker that says "handle with care" but you can't help it.
"Please, don't break my heart."
"Trust me, I've been broken before."
Making mistakes is inevitable in life but that doesn't mean they hurt any less when they happen.
Tsukishima knows that. That's why he has a hard time trusting people and letting himself feel comfortable in someone's arms, they could easily drop him onto the cold hard ground just as they hold onto him on most nights.
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I've been broken.
Yeah. I know how it feels
Tsukishima feels stupid, so fucking stupid. Despite knowing himself to possess quite the intelligence he can't help but feel idiotic as he watches the scene unfold right in front of him.
"Kei-"
The woman's eyes widen as she sees her lover standing a few feet from her and the guy she was grinding ass onto.
"Save it."
He regrets being here, he regrets going here. Everything smells like alcohol, vomit, and nicotine and it makes him want to throw up.
The blonde walks through the crowd of people dancing and drinking, not looking where he's going.
It took everything in him to not run over to the guy and punch him in the face. Tsukishima couldn't give two flying fucks whether that guy was more built or not than he is.
Fuck it all.
He thinks, heading to the door.
To be open
And then find out your love isn't real.
"Kei please let me explain"
She pleads with tears in her eyes as she grabs his wrist.
"Explain? Alright then. Explain."
He laughs sarcastically. Not letting her have the satisfaction of seeing him heartbroken.
"It's just that you were never-"
"If you had a problem with me then you should've talked to me. Whatever I did wrong doesn't justify what you were doing back there. If you want him then go to him, we're done."
"Fine then. I deserve better anyway."
Tsukishima frees his wrist from her hold and walks out of the party, walking back to his dorm.
He can't believe he fell in love with someone like that. He feels like a fucking fool with all the time he wasted. Some people were just meant to be unfortunate, Tsukishima guesses that he's one of those people.
I'm still hurting.
Yeah. I'm hurting inside.
"Can you believe that I got replaced with a fucking meathead? Talk about bad taste."
The blonde laughs but the mockery in it is directed to none other than himself.
"She's a bad person with bad taste."
Yamaguchi agrees. The green-haired boy couldn't believe what he was hearing in all honesty. Sure, his best friend is emotionally closed off most of the time but he thought that the girl would understand that or at least talk to him about it.
Not go behind the blonde's back and fuck some other guy because of his lack of communication.
"She deserves better anyway? What a load of bullshit."
You laugh at the woman's words.
"The irony with the whole situation along with the audacity she had to say that is really abysmal."
Yachi agrees and the rest of you hang out with the middle-blocker and keep him some company while he gets that woman out of his head.
He's glad to have you guys even if he doesn't say it out loud.
I'm so scared to fall in love,
But if it's you then I'll try.
Tsukishima isn't afraid per see, just cautious. Well, that's what he tells himself anyway.
"Is this okay?"
You ask, hands intertwined during the cold winter of December.
It may have been a year already but you didn't want to push it, didn't want to cross any unspoken lines he has.
He nods in reply, giving your hand a light squeeze, reassuring both of you.
It feels warm but it isn't scorching, he isn't getting burned and he isn't getting hurt. The cold winter of December felt like the beautiful warmth and colorful breeze of spring.
So for him, yes, it is okay. It's okay as long as it's you.
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"It's you, it's always you."
"If I'm ever gonna fall in love I know it's gon' be you."
It felt surreal entering the house with Tsukishima's voice reverberating throughout the rooms as if it was an invitation for you to listen.
"It's you, it's always you."
"Met a lot of people, but nobody feels like you."
You took off your shoes and walked as quietly as you can towards the master's bedroom, where you guess Tsukishima is.
"So, please, don't break my heart."
"Don't tear me apart."
The door was open and you take a peek without making a sound.
"I know how it starts."
"Trust me I've been broken before."
Tsukishima's back is facing you and you could see that he was playing guitar. Your old guitar to be exact. You've gotten so busy with all the work and problems that you've rarely played with the instrument that helped your love for music increase even more.
"Don't break me again."
"I am delicate."
Your train of thought gets cut off by the blonde's singing once more. Your back leans against the door frame, not making any noise or motion to make your presence known.
"Please, don't break my heart."
"Trust me I've been broken before."
Walking back to the couch, you carefully put your bag down before going into the room again. It really was a good decision for you guys to have the whole place carpeted.
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I know I'm not the best at choosing lovers.
We both know my past speaks for itself.
"Are you gonna go?"
You wanted to say no and that you'll stay but you both know that wouldn't sit well with the two of you.
"I am."
He nods in acknowledgment of your words. The cicadas' incessant buzzing fills in the silence that seemed to amplify as seconds turned into minutes.
"I see."
Is all he replies with.
He doesn't want to hold you back. You don't want to make him wait. You don't want him to let go either and neither does he.
"What do you want?"
It's a loaded question in its entirety, it could mean what do you want to do, what do you want to eat, what do you want from me, or what do you want us to be, and so on and so forth.
It's not a rude question, just an open-ended one and he knows what you mean.
He doesn't answer because truthfully, he doesn't know if his answer would change your mind. You're unpredictable like that and it's one of the things he loves about you. Yet it's the same trait that makes him have an internal debate with himself on what he should say in response.
"I trust you."
The blonde settles on saying that.
You lean onto his side and you could feel his arm pulling you closer as you two stare at the ball of light suspended in the night sky along with the specs of stardust that surrounds it.
If you don't think that we're right for each other
Then, please, don't let history repeat itself.
He remains speechless as you close in on him. Sometimes, certain emotions simply couldn't be expressed through words.
The smell of your perfume overwhelms him in a good way. It brings back bittersweet memories of when you held him close before your departure years ago.
You looked different in a good way as well. Time took good care of you and aged you like fine wine.
"I missed you."
Tsukishima waited even when you two promised each other nothing in the end. He can only assume with the look on your face and with the way you sink deeper into his embrace that you actually feel the same thing he feels.
"I missed you too."
He means it. All those sleepless nights, the few hours of worrying he had when you wouldn't answer at a time when you should've been out of the plane already, and all those nights where he'd come home to nothing and no one.
If enduring all that and more meant he'd get to be with you again in the end then he's willing to make those sacrifices as long as you are too.
'Cause I want you. Yeah. I want you. Yeah.
There's nothing else I want
It felt surreal for him to be helping you carry your luggage into the trunk of his car, it felt like everything was finally going back into its place as you play your favorite song on the car's radio and he changes it in the middle of the chorus just to piss you off.
You then get back at him by making him buy you your favorite ice cream on the way home after dinner to which he "begrudgingly" agrees to.
It felt surreal for you too after all those months of calling and face timing each other just to see what the other's up to and now you're here in his arms and in your home again.
Nothing much has changed, you realized once you enter the house. Most of the furniture stayed the same aside from the little souvenirs you'd send every now and then to show him that you're having a fun time where ever you were.
The fridge still has that pic of you and him after your college graduation that being held up by a dinosaur magnet that you were insistent on getting because you knew he secretly liked it as well.
He helps you unpack your things as calm music serves as white noise while the sunset could be seen from the window of your two-story house.
'Cause I want you. Yeah. I want you. Yeah.
And you're the only thing I want.
Tsukishima isn't the type of person who'd ask for a lot or anything for that matter. He takes what is given to him and makes due of it. For the most part, he thinks that asking for more could make some think that they're being selfish and as much as he doesn't care about what others think, he cares about what you think.
He cares a lot about what you think of him and what you think of in general.
But maybe this once, just this once, he wants to be selfish and ask more of what you have to give or rather, what you want to give.
"What do you want?"
Ah, that question again. The same question you asked him all those years ago but it suddenly felt like yesterday.
This time, this time he knows what he wants to say.
He knows there is no right or wrong answer. You'll accept his decision with open arms just like how you accepted him with open arms back then.
" I want you . It's you, it's always you. If I'm ever gonna fall in love I know it's gon' be you."
'It's you, it's always you.
Met a lot of people, but nobody feels like you.'
The low timbre of his voice makes his body tremble slightly as you hold each other close, closer than you two ever held anyone else.
The amalgamation of years of yearning and walking on eggshells came to an end as your bodies intertwine along with your lips, searching for something that was never lost to begin with but was only recently found.
For you and Tsukishima, you are each other's moon. You'll love each other even when you're not there, even when you're not whole.
Because for him, nothing could ever compare, to the feeling of loving you and being loved by you.
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"So, please, don't break my heart.
Don't tear me apart."
You lean against the door frame on your side as you spectate your unassuming lover perform without knowing that he has an audience.
"I know how it starts.
Trust me: I've been broken before."
You begin walking towards him, making your presence known as he feels a dip of weight beside him.
"Don't break me again.
I am delicate."
He faces you as he keeps playing the instrument, fully focused on it but acknowledges your presence simultaneously.
"Please, don't break my heart.
Trust me: I've been broken before."
You can't promise him that you won't because you won't know what can happen in the future and you're not the type of person to make empty promises.
That's why you do what you can to make him feel your love as much as possible without making him feel suffocated by it or by you.
You could only stare lovingly back at him as he finishes the song and puts the guitar down in an exchange of being able to hold you and be held by you.
"When did you learn how to play guitar?"
You ask while playing with his hair.
"A while back, wanted to surprise you"
His voice came out muffled due to the fact that his face is buried on the crook of your neck.
"Well, I was surprised either way so task failed successfully?"
You ask him and he groans at the reference you just said.
"Don't talk to me if you're gonna keep saying things like that again and you should probably take a bath before we eat dinner"
He replies, getting up and off the bed.
"Why bother if I'm gonna need another one later anyway?"
Tsukishima looks at you menacingly and it would've worked if it wasn't for the tinge of red that dusted his cheeks as he threw a pillow at you before walking off into the bathroom next door.
"I hate you"
He says while turning on the heater and preparing you a lovely bath.
"Yeah yeah, love you too Tsukkipoo"
He scoffs yet he wouldn't want anyone else to say that disgusting nickname to him and give him butterflies but you.
Because for Tsukishima Kei, it will always be you.