Archive of Our Own

Today is the day my world ends. It's any other day. The light shines through the blind onto my all might poster. My door is locked shut. I stare at the poster affected by the blinds. It hits All Might's face. His eyes are highlighted by the light. My blanket is pulled up to my neck and my head rests on a pillow.

It's another empty day. My door is left closed and I hide away from the rest of the world. My phone rests next to my head. My phone is always dry. I barely even use it. I mean what's the point. My ceiling fan has dust on it as it hasn't been used in quite a while.

I'm Izuku Midoriya. Izuku. Deku. Worthless. As I've been told either directly or indirectly. My own best friend turned on me as society deemed me useless and worthless. My mother, she never believed in me. She loved me, but she constantly neglected me. Days would go by and I'd have to fight for myself.

Days I came home with scars, bruises, and cuts that needed stitches. My mother never asked who did it. Maybe it was just obvious who did it. I look at my arms and rub the scars. I trace the faint lines. I've tried so much to make them go away. I trace a particular scar. It was one of many that needed stitches. Right on my wrist.

I pull at the all might shirt in wearing. His smile is slightly worn out from the years of wearing this shirt. His smile used to bring me such joy. Now? it's just a constant reminder of something I can never achieve.

"Izuku, honey?" My mom calls me name quietly. She doesn't knock. She always avoids looking at me directly in the eyes. I have no idea why. I keep staring at the poster.

"Your food is on the center counter. Please eat something." After saying it she walks away quickly as I can hear from her footsteps.

I shove my face into the pillow I'm laying on. Getting up feels impossible. I don't even feel hungry. What day is it? what time is it?

what a sad life.

I work up the courage to get up. The floor is cold. My room has a still, gloomy feeling. I sigh and make my bed. Leaving a mess behind will just burden my mother. Nothing will compare to the burden I am to her. I set all the money I have in an envelope and leave the letter next to it.

Days were spent trying to figure out what to say. Even then the final letter is blurry in my mind. All I remember is, it being the best letter I could write. Given the situation, it's hard to know what to write. Good bye? I'm sorry? What would my final words be. No one would know i suppose.

I change into plain clothes. I open my door and look back at the room I'm leaving. It's where I grew up for years. I have to leave it one way or another. I shut the door quietly. I pass the food my mother made me. I sigh at the sight of it. My favorite since I was a kid. Doesn't matter now i suppose.

I shut the door behind me. The sky is gloomy, as if it can feel its my last day here. I stuff my hands in my pockets. I pass kids playing in the streets. Many playing with their quirks. I smile at them weakly. They're so happy. Their smiles radiant joy. I shuffle past them. I hope they grow up to be something.

I start the climb up the stairs. The stairs in a quite large building. It's one I've been to so many times. They leave the roof door open well, everytime I've checked they did. I reach the top and open the door. Light shines through the gloomy clouds and hits the building. I wonder what the sunset will look like today. Will it be visible eventually?

I sit on the ledge. I look down unfazed I've looked down in this edge so many times. cars pass by. Some people look at me. Some people call for help. I don't remember leaning over.

I feel nothing at all.

A light shines on me.

I woke up. The day continues now. I'm staring at a ceiling that has a random dot patterned on it. I turn my head and look to see the rest of the room. On the hospital bedside table lies a bouquet of flowers and a note. From the window view I can tell I'm up pretty high but there's locks on the window.

It's mid day. I wonder why I'm awake now. I move my arms and there's bandages on them. I move to run my hands through my hair. There's bandage wrapped around my head. I sit up in bed and lay my hands on my lap. The last thing I remember is falling. and then nothing. Nothing comes to mind.

My mind feels blank. I just feel the same as I did before. My mother comes in running and hugging me. I just stay silent. I was supposed to be gone. Why am I still here. She cries and tells me she needs to go to work.

".. okay." It's the first word I say. The only word I say to her before she leaves. Why am I such a burden to her.

Doctors come in asking me questions. I respond with short answers. They let me rest and I stare at the ceiling again. A nurse walks into my room. I don't look at her, but I can hear the clicking of her heels on the tile floor.

"A visitor is here for you." I nod and she goes to bring them in. I can't imagine who it'd be. Maybe my classmates sent to make fun of me. I couldn't even end it right.

I hear clicking of shoes again. I hear shuffling from another pair.

"Izuku honey? It's me, Mitsuki and Katsuki." I turn over slowly and it is them. Kacchan looks angry as ever. He doesn't want to be here. His attitude makes the hospital room feel even more gloomy.

"hi."I say shortly. She has a gift bag in her hands. Kacchan has his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"We came to see you, and see if you're okay." She smiles nervously as avoids my gaze. Many people avoid my eyes. They just don't look at me directly. Kacchan used too. Now he's just, like everyone else.

"I'm okay." I respond. I don't get up. I'm tired. My head injury hurts to much.

"Katsuki stop being irritating and say something!" She whisper yells to her son. I don't care for Kacchan has to say. He's said enough to me.

"Whatever." He huffs. She pushes him closer to my bed and leaves the room.

Usually I'd be scared to be in the same room as Kacchan. A lot of quirkless people face discrimination. And it's never taken care of. Kacchan was just one of the examples.

"Deku I'm-" I cut him off.

"you can just leave and not have to talk to me...I'll tell Mitsuki you did." I roll over back to face the window of the hospital room.

He stays silent. I wonder what he's thinking right now. Is he going to say anything? The window is high. Maybe I could try again.

"Why'd you do it." He breathes the words out.

"Why? 's that really what you want to ask me? " I ask him. He doesn't say anything.

"what did you say to me again? " I sit up a bit as he stiffens, "Go pray for a quirk in your next life and take a swan dive off the roof of a building."

He breathes quickly. I don't know why I'm bringing this up. It didn't really matter much to me. He said that as an empty statement. But he was right about one thing. Nothing would have changed if it worked. Another quirkless child killed themselves. It's not like they had much promise, right?

I flop back onto my hospital bed, "don't pretend you care, Kacchan, because I know you won't ever care."

He looks at me and suddenly his eyebrows furrow together and his breathing gets quicker. It all happens fast. It goes by like a strong wind. I only realize it happened after it's done.

He punches me straight across the face. He looks at himself surprised he did it. My eyes tear up from the impact. I touch the spot on my face and I can already feel a bruise. My nose starts bleeding, I feel the blood run down my nose to my lips. It tastes metallic.

"... no matter how much I hate myself, you'll always hate me more." He stares at me. His mouth is left open as if he is trying to say something. His red eyes state bullets into me.

He finally explodes like bomb in my hands.

"You're a deku! you're quirkless! that's not even the worst!" He yells at me. I don't flinch anymore. His words blur together. It's all sounds.

"You gave up so easily! how can you be a hero if you give up the moment it goes wrong for you!" It's the only thing that gets through to me. I didn't think about that. I don't really know what I was thinking.

And for the first time in years, something unexpected happens. I see the different shades of red in his eyes, because those same eyes were staring right at mine.