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The orange evening glow started fading into a deep blue dusk the Saturday before Halloween, and most of the Walford residents were getting into the party spirit. With Mick and Linda away at Elaine's with Ollie and Annie, Janine was hosting a party at The Queen Vic with Shirley and Tracey, as were Kathy at The Prince Albert and Dotty at Ruby's.
Ben was dressed up in an orange prison jumpsuit as was Callum in a navy blue police uniform, as they left the flat above the funeral parlour and made their way towards The Queen Vic. Their plan for the evening was to have a drink in with Mick, who said he was going to make an appearance, before meeting up with Jay and Frankie at The Prince Albert.
"Ben, you alright?" Callum asked, as the pair walked down Bridge Street.
"Yeah, me hands are a little cold," answered Ben, rubbing them vigorously. "Thought that hot arse of yours could warm them up," he added, as he slipped a hand into Callum's back trouser pocket.
"Cheek," muttered Callum.
"And a nice one it is too," his husband replied, giving it a firm squeeze.
Inside The Queen Vic, Janine was dressed up as a queen, whilst Tracey and Shirley were dressed up as witches; all three in red and black.
Gathered in the corner at the dartboard were Jack, Sharon, Mitch, Karen, and Zack. Jack was dressed up as a werewolf, with a black nose and white canines painted on his face, whilst Zack was dressed up as a mummy, with blackened eyes and 'blood-stained' bandages, and Mitch wore a Frankenstein's Monster costume. As for the women, Sharon was dressed up as Cruella de Vil, whilst Karen was wearing a genie costume.
In the small booth next to the main door were Harvey and Aaron. Harvey was dressed up as a pirate, whereas Aaron was wearing a Joker costume. The younger man had just finished his pint, and made this way over to the other side of the pub. In the corner booth nearby, sat Kat in a leopard print jumpsuit with matching headband and face paint, her cousin Stacey wearing a vampire costume, whereas Stacey's wife Eve was wearing a scarecrow costume. Accompanying them were Whitney, who was dressed up as Emily from Corpse Bride, and her stepsister Tiffany, who was dressed up as Daphne from Scooby-Doo. The younger of the two got up from her seat and followed Aaron to the makeshift games area.
"Alright, Shirl?" Ben asked, as he and Callum took a seat on the barstools. "Not wearing a costume, I see."
"Haha, very funny," muttered Shirley in a deadpan tone. "Halfway," she said to Callum, "tell your husband to watch that mouth of his. Wouldn't wanna find out someone slipped some arsenic into his cocktail."
"Well..." said Ben, as he looked at Callum and smirked, "someone's cock is gonna be slipping into an arsehole later."
"No surprise there," replied Shirley. "From what I remember, your dad was very fond of anal."
"Eugh! Shirl!" Ben moaned, as he and Callum screwed up their faces in disgust, as Shirley just stood their and chuckled.
"What can I get yous two?" She asked.
"Nothing yet," replied Callum. "We're just waiting for Mick. Is he not here yet?"
"He's running a bit late."
"Well, in that case-"
"Four Bloody Marys, please, Janine," said a voice that Callum recognised as Whitney's
When she realised she was being watched, Whitney turned in the direction of her ex-fiancé as Callum immediately looked away.
Although it was still early doors, there was a bit of a small crowd within the pub, so perhaps it was lucky neither Callum nor Whitney saw each other a minute or so earlier.
"Callum," she said with an apologetic smile.
But Callum didn't respond; he just gave her a cold shoulder.
A few weeks ago, Gray was arrested after an argument with Whitney and Chelsea turned nasty. As he was being put into a police car, he hollered out to Callum how *Whitney was the one behind the wheel*. It didn't take long for Callum to clock on what he meant as Whitney suggested taking this somewhere more private. Alone in the kitchen of Number 25, Whitney explained how she tried to kill Ben on the night of his and Callum's wedding. To say Callum was furious would be an understatement. Whitney had never known him to raise his voice so loudly; it almost terrified her.
After Ben saw Whitney make her way back to the corner booth, he placed a hand on top of his husband's, and brushed his fingers over his knuckles.
"Like you said." He whispered. "She ain't worth it." And planted a kiss on Callum's shoulder.
After coming back from a car auction that same day, Ben found Callum laying across the sofa with red eyes. He asked what was wrong as his husband explained what had happened. As Callum feared, Ben was furious and threatened to make Whitney pay, but Callum warned him not to after what happened with Paul's killer Simon. Ben would not promise to be nice to Whitney, but he gave his word to Callum not to take further action.
"So what d'you fancy?" He asked, as they both eyed the cocktail menu.
"Erm...how about two vampire's kisses?" Callum suggested.
"Sure," smiled Ben, then stood on his tiptoes and rested his chin on Callum's shoulder. "Although..." he whispered, "...that's not the vampire's kiss I have in mind."
This made Callum crack a smile as Shirley handed them their drinks.
"Oi! Callum!" Both Callum and Ben turned around in the direction of the voice they both knew belonged to Stacey. "Your husband threatened to harm my kids, plotted to help kill Keanu, and went to prison for battering a kid at fourteen! But you can't even forgive Whitney for doing less?!"
The smile on Callum's face was long gone. Ben was about to argue back, but Callum just looked at his husband and shook his head.
"I dunno what you see in that scumbag, but you're welcome to him!"
"And a 'pot kettle black' to you too, Stacey," Janine butted in.
"You what?!"
"Oh, nothing much," explained the barmaid. "It's just that with your track record, everyone around here knows about your habit of welcoming yourself to other women's husbands. Like *mine*. Mind you," she continued, "I'm pretty sure Tanya's called you much worse than 'scumbag'. I mean we can always ask Callum here to ask Rainie."
"And what did everyone around here think when you pushed yours off a cliff, eh?" Stacey retaliated. "Or poison them? Or stab'em?"
"Well I don't know," answered Janine. "Possibly the same thing Martin thought when you pushed his pregnant wife down the stairs."
"Oh, you evil cow-"
"Enough!" Callum snapped, as he slammed his fist on the bar top, making Shirley of all people jump out of her skin, as the rest of the patrons watched on.
"You," he said as he pointed to Janine, "are an unremorseful murderous fuck with the motherly instincts of a fly. And as for you, Stacey? Of all people you are in no position to be giving lip about other people's relationships, when you're an expert in adultery!"
Callum exhaled angrily, as Ben tried to keep him calm by putting a hand on his lap, but to no avail.
"First of all, you cheated on Max's son Bradley with - surprise, surprise - Max. Then you cheat on Martin with his best mate Kush. And then! You cheat on Martin - again! - with Max!"
"Blimey," chuckled Janine. "Forget having more men than the grand old Duke of York. You obviously stole half of them. Eh, Stace?"
But Stacey just gave Janine a nasty glare.
"Erm, you are aware me and Martin were *not* together when I slept with Kush, right?" She said to Callum.
"You and Martin were also not together when he got with Ruby," he replied. "But that didn't stop you from rob-" He paused suddenly. "Actually, explain this to me, Stacey." He continued. "Why is it that when you betray your loved ones, you want forgiveness, but when your loved ones betray you, you want revenge? And what's more...what kinda woman lets her husband believe he's the father of her kid, when he's not?!"
Stunned by his anger, Stacey didn't know what to say.
"But yeah, my husband's a scumbag. But at least he ain't a lying, cheating, hypocritical little homewrecker!"
"Oh I'm a homewrecker?!" Stacey finally responded. "It was your precious little husband that ruined mine and Martin's marriage!"
"And throwing Martin out of his house after you played with Max's jingle bells the other Christmas didn't?" Ben replied.
"Why don't you shut it?!"
"Likewise. Same goes for your legs."
"Well you know what they say," added Janine, "a leopard never changes its spots..." She leaned forward across the bar top looking in Stacey's direction, with a smirk that could rival any of Ben's. "...and a slut never changes her knickers."
With a not-so-rich history of bad blood between the two women, Janine knew exactly how to tick off Stacey.
"Mind you," she continued, "the slut in question does however gallivant off to fuck-knows-where, allowing the police to believe her own precious little husband killed her rapist, whilst the husband in question rots in his grave. All because she's can do the crime, but is too much of a coward to do the time."
In a fit of rage, Stacey picked up her glass in an attempt to launched its contents towards her sworn enemy.
"Stace, no!" Kat yelled, as she grabbed hold of her cousin's wrist. "You're still on probation!"
As the Bloody Mary splashed against the panelling, narrowly missing its target, Janine wiped the non-existing liquid from her face in an overly camp fashion.
"Typical of you Slaters, ain't it?" She scolded. "You can dish it out, quite literally, but you can't take it. Well, when I say take it-"
"Why don't you go and rob another pensioner?" Stacey replied.
"Stacey," Callum asked. "Have you ever heard of a film called Unfriended?"
"Why...?" She asked back.
"Well me and Ben were watching it the other night, and you're just like the lead character Blair." He explained. "You both lie to your best friends. You both cheat on your boyfriends with their best mates. And Everyone Else Suffers The Consequences Of Your Actions!"
"Right! I think that's enough now, Callum!" Jack warned as he made his way across the pub.
"Hold on. Hold on," replied Callum, as he took off his police cap and handed it over to his colleague. "If you're gonna arrest me for public disturbance, you might wanna put this on. Not that you do a good job yourself anyway."
"Sorry?"
"Do I have to explain?! Fine! You was the one who dragged Lucas to The Arches and interrogated him; not me. And you were the one who got suspended for blabbering to Max about Mick's ordeal; not me." Callum paused as he exhaled angrily. "But yeah," he continued, "I'm the one risking my career, just for being married to a Mitchell. But then again, you know all about Mitchell marriages, don't cha? I mean you married Ronnie, twice. And impregnated Roxy and Sam. How you and Sharon didn't work out, I'll never know."
"Oi!" Sharon called out. "Don't drag me into this!"
"What? Like how you dragged Keanu into your bed?!" Callum replied. "You two are pretty much a match made in heaven. One minute you're shagging half the Mitchells. The next you're slagging them off. And quite frankly, if I were you two, I'd be more worried about my own toxic families. Jack," he said, "I think everyone's well aware by now of how much of a fuckboy Max was. And as for your other brother Derek? Where the hell would I start?" He drew his attention back to Ben's former stepmother. "And you, Sharon, what's this Kathy's told me about your own parents? About how your mum lied about having terminal cancer. And about how your dad had a kid with a teenager behind your mum's back."
The latter statement piqued Janine's interest.
"Sharon, are you sure Den wasn't your biological father?" She asked.
"Why...?" Sharon asked in response.
"Well for starters, he had Vicki with Michelle when Michelle was...? How old?"
"Sixteen."
"And then you had Albie with this Keanu lad behind Phil's back, even though Keanu's...? How old is he, Karen?"
"Twenty-two now," the woman answered.
"So obviously the apple didn't fall far from the tree, did it? And considering he married Chrissie, then cheated on her with Kate and Zoe, your dad certainly liked them young." Janine paused with a wicked smile, knowing her next statement would ruffle Sharon's feathers. "Dirty Den? Prince Andrew more like."
"How Dare You!" Sharon yelled furiously, and almost pounced on Janine, had it not been for Mitch and Zack holding her back.
"Whoa! Whoa!" Zack said, trying to calm his sister down. "Janine, that was out of order. And Callum, it weren't fair taking your anger out on Sharon."
"You wanna talk about fairness?" Callum asked. "Ok then. Tell me, Sharon. Was it fair when you banned Ben from Dennis' funeral?"
Looking directly at Ben, Sharon's anger subsided into guilt as she answered no quietly.
"And was it fair that Tina got the blame for Ian's attack?"
"No," she answered again, "but Mick and Linda have forgiven me."
"I haven't," said Shirley.
"So Tell Me This, Sharon!" Callum yelled. "Was It Fair When Keanu Had Me Tied Up In A Warehouse And Nearly Left Me For DEAD?!"
"NO!" Sharon yelled. "Alright?!"
"Course it ain't. Clearly you didn't learn anything from when you and Phil pulled the same stunt on his brother all them years ago, did ya?. And if you haven't have cheated with Keanu in the first place, I would never have been kidnapped! The boat would never have crashed! Denny would still be alive! Ian would never have disappeared! And Louise would never have left the square! Isn't that right?!"
"I told you not to have a got at him!" Kat told Stacey.
"Yeah, well," her cousin replied, "someone had to tell that moron like it is."
Callum turned round to the two women with teary bloodshot eyes as he took a big breath.
"Stacey," he said, "for once, why don't you keep quiet? Coz in the fours years I've known you, in half that time, you screech like a banshee that's been starved of Strepsils."
Callum was not known for being an angry person, and although it has happened, he has lost his rag before, as both Ben and Whitney have found out. A balloon can only handle so much pressure before it stops or deflates. If not, then it's bound to pop. So perhaps it would have been better if Whitney had also kept quiet.
"Callum," she said, "I know your still upset after the whole car thing at your wedding, bu-"
"To Right I Fucking Am!" He bellowed as the tears finally broke free. "What kinda mate tries to mow down another mate's husband on their wedding day?!"
"Callum, I'm sorry! But I did believe Ben and Phil killed Kush."
"Oh! And that Makes It Alright Then Does It?! What would've happened if you succeeded, eh?! Did you not think how Lexi would react if her dad died?!"
"No!" Whitney shamefully replied.
"Course you didn't," scoffed Callum. "Coz you're too busy jumping from bloke-to-bloke like a frog on a lily pad. Do tell me, Whit. How many 'loves of your life' have you had, eh?! Coz there wasn't just Kush, there was me, Woody, Lee, Tyler. You've even tried to make passes on both Mick and Johnny, even though you know full well Johnny's gay."
Callum shook his head angrily, and turned his attention to the rest of the pub.
"You lot can say what you want about Ben and the rest of the Mitchells, but I'll tell you this; Ben Mitchell is a loving husband and a doting father; he may not be a complete saint, but at least he don't pretend to be one. And let's be honest, the same can't be said for anyone else in here either. Murderers, adulterers, liars, snakes; Everyone's A Sinner In Here!"
Callum paused and took a shuddery breath, as he used one hand to wipe away his tears. In his other hand, he felt Ben interlock their fingers, giving him a light squeeze.
"Cal," he said, "why don't we finish our drinks and go, eh?"
"Yeah," nodded Callum, his voice drained of energy.
"And I'm the one who screeches like a banshee," argued Stacey.
This time, Ben and Callum just ignored her, as they finished their vampire's kisses and made their way towards the main doors, hand-in-hand.
"He'll break that heart of yours, sooner or later!" She continued. "And you'll only have yourself to blame!"
"Likewise," countered Janine, "sooner or later, you will cheat on your new wife, just like you did to Martin and Bradley, and you'll only have yourself to blame. With a dirty little cheat like you for a wife," she continued, "who needs enemies? It's no wonder this Ruby girl hired a hitman. She pretty much did the whole of Walford a favour."
Once again, Janine knew how to push Stacey's buttons, as a furious Stacey got up from her seat with another glass in her hand.
"You know what, fuck the probation," she declared, as she chucked its contents into Janine's face.
Janine retaliated by giving Stacey a nasty slap across the face.
By the time Ben and Callum were slumped on a bench outside The Queen Vic, a large fracas had broken out within the pub. Anyone who never stepped foot in Walford would think there was a football match taking place inside. Ben rested his head upon Callum's shoulder, who in turn rested his own head against that of his husband's, their hands still connected.
"Well," said Ben, "you certainly gave them lot a mouthful."
In any other circumstances, Ben would have followed that up with an inappropriate comment.
"Stupid question, I know," he continued, "but are you ok, Cal?"
"Will be in a bit," Callum sniffed, as Ben brought both of their hands up to his face, and kissed Callum's thumb.
"Still wanna go to The Albert?" Ben asked. "Wouldn't blame ya if ya didn't."
"Yeah course," his husband answered with another sniff, "just gimme a few minutes."
Without warning, there came a smash of glass as something wooden clattered against the road surface from around the corner. Ben and Callum got up from the bench to investigate, and saw a barstool lay on the road surrounded by multiple shards. As if on cue, Mick had just pulled up dressed up as Fred Flintstone.
"Ben. Halfway." He said, getting out of his car. "What the hell is going on in there?!"
At that moment, Jack emerged from the main doors with a phone to his ear in one hand, and Callum's police cap in the other.
"Hello?! Police, please," he said to the receiver. "Yeah, Queen Victoria Pub, Albert Square, Walford. DI Jack Branning from Walford Police. Yeah, cheers."
Pocketing his phone he handed the cap back to Callum, and rather than say something clichéd he just frowned at his colleague and shook his head.
"Well, I dunno know about you, Babe," Ben said to Callum, "but I'm off to The Prince Albert's Halloween party." He stretched his hand out, offering it to his husband. "Fancy tagging along?"
With an 'almost-there' smile, Callum took Ben's hand in his with a returning squeeze.
"Sorry we couldn't stay for that drink, Mick," he said to his friend. "Another day, yeah?"
"Y-yeah...urm...sure," a bemused Mick replied, as he looked over at Jack.
"Until we meet again, Officer," Ben called to Jack, as he and Callum made their way down Bridge Street.
Out of site, Ben couldn't help but let out a chuckle he had been holding back, and swayed his and Callum's conjoined hands.
"God, the look on Jack's face when you ripped him a new one," Ben giggled. "You know my Aunt Glenda, Ronnie and Roxy's mum, said something similar once to him years ago."
"About what?" Callum asked.
"Something about impregnating the women of Walford all by himself. And as for Stacey? Never seen her so stunned."
"Yeah well, everyone knows Stacey's morals are lower than the Mariana Trench," replied Callum. " And Jack couldn't even catch a cold, let alone a criminal."
Another chuckle escaped from Ben's lips.
"You and Abi would've gotten along like a house on fire," he smiled. "The things she said about Stacey would make a sailor look like a nun."
"Yeah? Like what?" Callum asked.
"I'll explain later," answered Ben, as they both stood outside The Prince Albert. "Right now, we've got a party to attend that needs a little more gay." On his tiptoes he whispered into Callum's ear, "and if you're on your best behaviour, we'll make good use of those handcuffs later."
And that put a smile of Callum's face.