Chapter Text
There is nothing much in common with Seong Gihun and Cho Sangwoo. They have different genders. Gihun is warm and extroverted whereas Sangwoo is distant and introverted. Sangwoo is the top 1% of their school. Gihun, needless to say, is the 1% bottom. However, they have some things in common. They live in the same neighborhood. They are part of the lower middle class. They’re also same-age friends who go to school together.
They used to play all kinds of games together. Despite Gihun being a girl, she beat Sangwoo more often in physical games. Gihun teased Sangwoo about that yet she would beat anyone who mocked Sangwoo for the same thing. When they were still in primary school, Gihun gave Sangwoo a bicycle ride to go to his extra class. Now of course in middle school, both experienced puberty, and Sangwoo has grown taller and bigger than Gihun. It’s Sangwoo’s turn to take him and Gihun to school with Gihun’s bicycle.
They still study together whenever Sangwoo didn’t have to go to cram school. Their parents are a bit wary as they are not children anymore. The differences in their bodies are more and more obvious as they grow older. But they decided to trust both of them as nothing questionable has happened so far. Gihun’s mother obviously thinks that arrangement benefits Gihun so much. While Sangwoo’s parents wish for a smarter study mate, they think Gihun’s cheerfulness and sociability will also benefit Sangwoo.
Gihun and Sangwoo are studying together in Gihun’s house right now. While Gihun is usually distracted, Sangwoo thinks she is more distracted and quiet now. Something is bothering her more than usual.
“What is it now?”
Gihun is startled at Sangwoo’s sudden question. She blinks then answers Sangwoo, “Oh, it’s nothing.”
Sangwoo sighs at Gihun’s answer. “You are usually distracted whenever we study together, but you are quieter than the usual. Just spill it now.”
“No, it is nothing. Fine, it’s a thing, but just trivial really.”
“Gihun.”
“Sangwoo,” Gihun replied by imitating Sangwoo's tone.
“If it’s only a thing you will not be this distracted. Just tell me, cause it starts distracting now.”
“Fine,” Gihun huffed. “A senior, you know Jicheol sunbae? Well, I went on a short date with him yesterday. We just ate ice cream and walked a bit. He asked me to kiss him and I said that I need to think about it.”
Sangwoo snorts. Only Gihun can be distracted with a simple request to kiss her. “That’s it?”
“See?! I knew you wouldn’t understand and mock me,” cried Gihun. “I told you it is trivial, you’re the one who insisted to know about it!”
“I apologize,” said Sangwoo with a small chuckle. “It’s just, I can not relate with all your romantic musings, I don’t see the big deal of it.”
“You are such an unromantic guy, Cho Sangwoo. How will you get married and have kids?”
“Is there an obligation to get married and have kids?” Sangwoo counters with a raised eyebrow.
“You don’t want to get married or have kids?” asked Gihun while eyes are widening. Of course, it doesn’t surprise Gihun completely. Yet it still jars her to hear it out loud from her oldest friend.
“I don’t know, it is just a lot of work you know. I mean, I am already satisfied and content with our companionship. Our friendship is not complicated, and we have known each other for a long time. Having a relationship...I need time to get to know and adjust to a new person,” Sangwoo answers.
Gihun feels a small jolt of happiness to hear Sangwoo’s answer. Sangwoo has never told her about his feelings for her or their friendship before today. Hearing Sangwoo’s answer is perhaps the closest thing of “I like you” (in a platonic way, obviously) from Sangwoo.
She decides to not respond to Sangwoo’s admission. She chooses to not make a big deal out of it. “Well, don’t you at least curious about kissing, skinship, or,” Gihun lowers her voice, “sex?”
Sangwoo smirks at Gihun. He then answers with a lower voice, “I can always look at porn whenever I am curious about sex or physical contact, you know.”
Gihun squawks at Sangwoo’s answer. This guy, the one she beat at squid game in their childhood, watches porn? Knows porn? Who is this guy and why he looks and acts like Sangwoo?!
“Yah, where and when did you watch porn?! How can you watch porn when all you do is studying?”
“Do you really think that I study all the time? That I never talk anything with other guys?’ Sangwoo asks Gihun with an amused tone. Oh, he enjoys this conversation. It is not every day he can surprise Gihun.
“I don’t know! All I know is you’re always so quiet, serious, and studying all the time. How should I know that you even know what porn is?!”
“Gihun, please. I may be a geek but I am still a human who tolerates socializing with curiosity. Besides, why the hell would I tell you that I watch porn? It’s not exactly a usual conversation between two friends of different sexes,” Sangwoo answers while shrugging his shoulders.
Gihun just opened her mouth for a few seconds before she closes it. She goes back to her homework. Yet both of them can see that she does not focus on her homework. She has been staring at the same question for almost five minutes. She does not even ask for Sangwoo’s explanation like at their normal time. Sangwoo decides to ignore it as he also has homework to do. Besides, he is sure that Gihun will tell whatever is in her mind later.
Sangwoo is right. Just a few moments after Sangwoo finishes his homework, Gihun asks a question.
“Well, do you like it?”
Sangwoo looks at Gihun carefully. Gihun has a faint blush on each of her cheeks. “I neither like nor hate it, I guess. I feel indifferent. I don’t see what other guys yapping about. They just show people screaming and being sweaty.”
“Wow, really? I thought all guys love porn,” Gihun mumbles.
“Seong Gihun, how many times do I follow the usual people?”
“Alright, Mr. Unique and Different. You are indeed different from mere mortals,” says Gihun mockingly with a shallow bow.
“It’s not unique and different, it’s called asexuality,” Sangwoo remarks with a smug tone.
“Asexuality? Don’t they use that word for small animals or plants that don’t have sex? Wait, don’t bother, I’m not in the mood to hear your lecture,” says Gihun when Sangwoo opens his mouth. “What about kissing? You don’t want to know what kissing is like, not even a little bit?”
“Why would I even think about kissing?”
“Damn, you really are different from us mere mortals.”
“I thought you’re not ready for kissing,” asks Sangwoo with a frown.
“Well, it’s not that easy to explain. I mean, yeah, I didn’t want to be kissed by Jicheol sunbae yesterday, but that doesn’t mean I don’t imagine it, you know. And I don’t imagine it with only Jicheol sunbae. Sometimes it’s with a faceless guy, sometimes it’s with Leslie Cheung,” Gihun says with a giggle.
“Wow, they are important pieces of information for my life,” Sangwoo deadpans.
“Yet I’m also worried if a guy I love kisses me and he is uncomfortable because it is my first kiss and I don’t know exactly what to do!”
“Ah, yes, it is very concerning and life-threatening…”
“Ugh, be a good friend for once and give me any advice! And no, not a sarcastic one,” Gihun grumbles.
Sangwoo shakes his head. He can’t believe he has this conversation with Gihun late weeknight. “Why don’t you just kiss someone or ask advice from other girls?”
Gihun can’t believe it. Sangwoo is smarter than her but he can be dumb for things like this. “Which guy can I ask?! I’m not close with Jungmin, and Woosung will definitely kiss and tell. Not to mention the girls will gossip about me immediately and then my mother will get crazy ideas.”
Sangwoo smacks his head to their shared desk. He can only blame his fatigue and previous action for his next question. “Will you leave me alone if I kiss you?”
“What the hell, Sangwoo?! You can’t just a girl for that kind of question!”
“Gihun, I’ve been doing my duty as a good friend to hear your rambling about kissing. It is past midnight, I’ve finished my homework, and I need a god damn sleep. The least you can do is answer my question and let me sleep after that.”
Gihun does not respond to Sangwoo immediately. She starts weighing her options. Not unlike most girls, Gihun wishes for her first kiss to be special. She always imagines it like any other romantic film or drama. The guy she loves confesses his love to her, they stare at each other eyes, then they move slowly until their lips touch each other. It would be the most wholesome thing to happen to her and they would live happily ever after.
However, with her luck, there is always a possibility that her first kiss would be the most awkward thing to happen. She could’ve used too much force, missed the lips, or she burped because she eats too much fried chicken. Or even better, the kiss was forced by some jerk.
The guy who is asking you is Sangwoo, your friend whom you have known since you wore diapers, said Gihun’s inner thought. It is ironic that Sangwoo and Gihun showered together in their childhood sometimes. They were literally naked. Worse, Sangwoo’s father took a picture of that embarrassing moment. Now, she feels awkward with the thought of kissing Sangwoo despite technically already doing something worse with him.
Nevertheless, Sangwoo is an introverted person who doesn’t have many friends. Better still, he loves his privacy so much that Gihun knows he will not kiss and tell. He is also her friend, so he will never hurt her with intent. The best part, Gihun is sure Sangwoo will not take advantage of her.
“Are you serious with your question, Sangwoo?”
“I will not ask if I am not serious,” Sangwoo replies softly. “But it is you who need to be sure. You’re the one who wants your first kiss to be special. I never have any romantic ideas about kissing.”
Gihun bites her lips. There is nothing wrong with Sangwoo’s words. But she still has one fear. “But you will not be awkward with me after this, won’t you?”
“No,” Sangwoo answers vehemently. “Nothing will change the fact that you are a friend. In addition, there is nothing romantic with our kissing. This is just us experimenting with each other, after all.”
Gihun nods slowly. “You’re right, of course.”
“When am I not right, Seong Gihun?”
Gihun just rolls her eyes. “I dare you to be smug again, Cho Sangwoo!”
It happens suddenly. Sangwoo moves his body closer to Gihun and holds both of her cheeks. Gihun can only widen her eyes and blush. She can feel her heart beating louder and louder.
Sangwoo keeps holding her cheeks softly while staring at both of her eyes. There is neither hesitation nor nervousness in his body language. He murmurs, “What will you do about it?”
“You can kiss me now,” whispers Gihun before she closes her eyes.
Sangwoo leans toward Gihun while closing his own eyes. He pauses as there's only a millimeter between his lips and Gihun's as if giving her a chance to back down. After three seconds, he puts his own lips to hers for a few seconds. Nothing but a soft touch. They break apart after Gihun gasped. They both open their eyes slowly. Gihun can only look at Sangwoo with a dazed expression. Her face is still red, her palms are sweaty, and her heart is beating so hard that she fears Sangwoo can hear it. She is just a tiny bit disappointed that Sangwoo is able to stay calm and unaffected.
"Now," Sangwoo says slowly and quietly, "can I go to sleep?"
***
Nothing changes between Gihun and Sangwoo. They still go to school and study together. Gihun still annoys Sangwoo with her stories while Sangwoo still annoys Gihun with his snarks.
Gihun kisses Jicheol sunbae a week after her kiss. She does not understand why she was more nervous to be kissed by Sangwoo than her crush. Sangwoo thanked whatever deity above that Gihun didn't realize how clammy Sangwoo's hands were.