Work Text:
“…we hoped for a better solution to be achieved…”
Mal sighed inwardly as he fought to stay focus in the world meeting but the mild headache that had been bothering him since this morning was becoming troublesome.
“…that’s unacceptable! We can’t just…”
His head was now pounding against his skull that he could barely hear anything but jumbled loud words…oh god, who the hell is shouting now?
“…weren’t you the one who suggested that in the first place…”
Can they wrap this up already? He wasn’t sure he could keep this up for much longer. His eyes were starting to blur and he could feel them tearing as the pain gradually intensifies in his head and nausea threatened to overwhelm him.
“...this is all the time we have, the meeting will adjourn until further notice…”
Thank you, GOD! He tried to stand up but his body refused to move…
“…al? Are you…”
‘Come on body! Get up already!’ He wants to go lie down and properly die somewhere! Preferably on a bed…or a couch…or even the floor, he’s not picky! Just get the hell up from this chair…no, it’s not a chair, it’s probably England’s stupid Busby cursed chair…yeah, that’s it!
“…can you hear me?”
This damn chair is cursed to make his headache worse and glued his backside on it so that he’d drown in pain…urgh, why is the ground shaking? Wait…that’s not…someone is shaking him?
“…al, where’s your room key?”
‘Who is it? Who’s talking? Room key? What key? Stop shaking me!! I’m gonna barf!!’ He’s really going to throw up if whoever is touching him won’t stop bloody shake him!!
“… I’ll take him…”
“…go with you…”
His head felt like splitting that he could barely make out a pair of hands sliding under him, lifting him off the god damn chair, his head lolled against a firm chest while his arms hanging uselessly.
‘…I hate this…I hate this so much…it hurts…’ he grits his teeth as more pain lanced through his head, tears spilling down his face.
Indo frowned worriedly as he took in Mal’s pained face as he breathed heavily, grimacing and whimpering with each step Indo took as he rushed them towards the elevator lobby. Singa running alongside him, carrying Mal’s work bag with him as he kept glancing at Mal with concern.
He didn’t understand, Mal looked fine this morning before the meeting but as they got to the middle of it he started to lose focus and his face gradually turned pale.
Reaching the elevators, Singa quickly punched the button leading up. “Bang Indo…is he…?”
Indo shook his head, careful not to jostle Mal too much, making sure that he had a firm grip on him. “I don’t know, Singa. Let’s just get him to bed first.”
The door opened and they hurriedly got on, Singa pushed the button for the floor where their rooms are. Luckily, the three of them were on the same floor. As soon as they reached their floor, Indo walk briskly towards Mal’s room.
Singa took out Mal’s cardkey and slides it across the auto lock to open the door. Upon entering, he briefly noted that Mal’s room was tidier than he expected of him.
Crossing the length of the room, Indo gently set Mal down on the bed who curled into himself, groaning miserably when Indo proceed to take his shoes and socks off.
“Singa, see if you could find his migraine meds.” Indo gently manoeuvred Mal to get his blazer and necktie off, muttering quiet encouragements when Mal started whining in protest.
Singa searched the room for the prescriptions and found it lying atop the vanity desk. He frowned when he realized that there were also depression pills…what? He stared at the medication in disbelief, half were already taken…had Mal been…depressed?
No…No! That can’t be! It’s impossible! It’s a lie! He’s always smiling and joking around…and…and…
“…and he didn’t tell anyone?” He murmured, why didn’t he? Not…not even to him? His heart clenched at the thought of Mal keeping such secrets from him.
“Singa.”
Startled, he turns back to the bed and saw Indo staring at him. Don’t say anything, is what his gaze was telling him.
He reluctantly handed the migraine meds to Indo, watching uncertainly as Indo got Mal to take them. This idiot...this utter fool…he wants to yell at him, he wants to scream at him for being so stupid…he wants…he wants to cry.
He wants to cry so badly.
‘Why?! Why can’t you just tell me?! You…you…’
“Singa…I think you should go back to your room.”
His head snapped up, eyes glaring sharply at Indo. “I’m staying.”
“Singa…” Indo warned, his own eyes narrowing at the younger man.
“NO! I’m staying and you can’t make me!”
“Then don’t make that face!”
Singa blinked. Indo kept going.
“Don’t make that face where he can see you…he doesn’t need that right now.”
“Bang Indo…did you…did you know about this?”
The silence was quite telling.
“I only found out because I caught him taking them that time. He’s getting better. I know he is, because he hadn’t taken them as often as he did before.”
Singa frowned at him. “Why…why didn’t he tell me? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“For what reason? Would you have listened?”
“What are you talking about? Of course I wou-” he stopped at Indo’s stern gaze.
“You wouldn’t. You barely tolerate his presence as of late, much less if he wants to tell you his problems. Just last week you actively avoided anything to do with him, didn’t you? Why would you do that, I don’t know. But for you to expect him to tell you anything when you do something like that is beyond unreasonable, Singa.”
He gently pushed Mal’s sweaty bangs away from his face, placing a cold fever patch over his heated forehead, “He cares deeply about you. Pushing you away almost broke him but there was nothing he could do…nothing either of us could do. Yet he kept acting as if everything was fine because he didn’t want to worry anyone. Especially you. That’s why he didn’t tell anyone, he almost didn’t tell me if I hadn’t forced it out of him.”
Singa wanted to deny him, to tell him that he was wrong, that he would never have left Mal alone to suffer…but he couldn’t. The words wouldn’t come out. Damn it! Damn it! Berating himself for not noticing. For not paying attention…for…
“Tell me, Singa. Do you hate him?”
The rage bubbling in him was instantaneous, eyes blazing at his older brother. “How dare you…how dare you! I never hate him! I could never hate him! How dare you!!”
“Then why-”
“BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!!”
The clock on the wall ticks quietly in the night, indicating that it was now 3:45 AM. At this time, it would be normal for everyone to be asleep still, resting the weariness of the day off.
Mal woke up, eyes slowly opening to see the ceiling of his room. He stared blankly for a minute, trying to get his thoughts together.
‘My room? …when did I get here? How…how did I get here?’
Yesterday…what happened yesterday?
The meeting…they were having the biannual world meeting. Then his head started aching. ‘Ah, crap…I must’ve forgotten my meds.’
He had been trying to get off of the medicines, slowly transitioning himself to a longer term solution and not just relying on suppressants. He’s been getting better that he sometimes forgot the meds altogether but occasionally he still needed the meds for cases like this.
The stress had been piling up lately, from the idiots messing around in his government to everything else…he was so tired.
‘I must’ve caused a scene…man, that’s embarrassing!’ He wanted to bury himself in a pit, or at least throw himself into the ocean. ‘Oh My God! That’s just too embarrassing!! I wanna die!’
“Singa…I think you should go back to your room.”
“NO! I’m staying and you can’t make me!”
Did…did Bang Indo and Singa…? Were they the ones who brought him back to his room? He thought he heard them arguing…was it real? Or was it a dream?
“Tell me, Singa. Do you hate him?”
Or maybe he just imagined all that? Sighing he rolled onto his side and stopped, his breath hitched in his throat.
It was Singa.
Lying next to him and deep asleep, their faces mere inches apart. His brain short circuited. Why is Singa here? Had he really…
“BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!!”
Mal bit his lip in uncertainty, torn between feeling relieved and denying it all. Wanting it to be real and yet convincing himself it was all just his hallucination. God…why was he such a mess? How did he end up like this?
Singa’s face while sleeping was a vast change from when he was awake, he was more relaxed, soft and sincere in his sleep. Against his better judgement, Mal quietly reached out to touch Singa’s face with his fingertips, gently caressing the curve of his cheek.
When Singa’s brow twitched, he quickly retracted his hand but not quick enough when a hand snatched his in a tight grip. Dawn coloured eyes opened, locking onto his reddish dusk ones. Neither said a word as they stared into each other’s eyes.
“…hi.”
Singa kept staring at him, his face unreadable. Mal was starting to get nervous. “S-Singa?”
Then Singa tightened his hold and brought Mal’s hand to his cheek, laying his palm fully against his skin.
“If you’re going to touch me, then do it properly.”
It took him several seconds to process what was being said to him, “Huh?”
“Don’t ‘huh’ me...once a day.”
What?
“Either text me or call me, once a day. Don’t flood my freaking inboxes, it jams the system, stupid.”
“Singa?”
“We’ll have breakfast, lunch and dinner together thrice a week…we’ll alternate on who’s cooking when or if we’re eating out, it’s only fair.”
“…”
“Always call ahead if you’re visiting…and stay the night with me. Don’t just drop by and then leave as you please.”
“Wait…”
“Of course, I’m going to stay at your place too…and tell Johor to stop glaring at me every time I come over.”
Mal stared at Singa in quiet awe, not resisting when the other snaked his arm around his waist to pull him closer. His heart beating loudly in his ears, his chest felt tight with strange anticipation.
“You’re going to stop calling me ‘Brother’ or even alluding anything to us being siblings…I hate it every time you did that…ask me why, Mal.”
“I don-”
His arm tightened around him, eyes narrowed in warning at him. “Ask. Me. Why. Mal.”
“…why, Singa?” He asked in a quiet voice.
“Because I love you and I want you.”
Like an overflowing dam, he couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Desperately trying to control his breathing, to stop the sobs from escaping him but failing. “…no…you…”
“I always have, Mal. Before, Now and I hope it will be forever…I never stopped loving you.”
“S-stop it, Singa…”
“You infuriate me when you keep denying me what is mine…you. And I couldn’t help but want to punish you by ignoring you but…I shouldn’t have done that…
…I’m so sorry, Mal…
…I should’ve straight up tell you what I want. Made it clear that I want you…all of you…every part of you for myself, not it the way brothers are…we can’t be brothers…”
Singa ran his hand up and down along Mal’s back, hooking one leg over the older man’s to prevent him from escaping.
“Because brothers don’t desire each other the way I desire you…I want to kiss you so much that you can’t think straight. I want to map your entire body with my lips…I want to touch you everywhere…tell me, would ‘brothers’ do that?”
“…no…Singa?”
“Yes?”
“Did you find my meds?”
“I did…I’m sorry.”
Mal smiled tiredly, curling his hand into Singa’s hair. The younger man leaned into the touch.
“It’s fine…then you should know that I’m not really mentally stable at the moment, right?”
“I know.”
“...it’s the stress…it gets harder to ground myself sometimes…I’m a mess, Singa.”
“…we all are, Mal. It’s not just you…”
“Yeah…I know…Bang Indo said the same thing too.”
Singa leans forward so that their forehead touched and their breaths mingled warmly.
“…I’m sorry, Singa…for not being strong enough to stop them.” He stopped Singa from talking with his finger on the other’s lips. “Let me say it now, please…”
Singa sigh, nodding to let him continue, the hand that was caressing Mal’s back came up to grab his hand. Pressing his lips on Mal’s fingers. His eyes never leaving Mal’s.
Mal bit his lip, hesitant to speak what had been buried for so long in his heart…but he needs to do this.
“I tried to talk them out of it…to come with a better solution for both our sides…but they were resolute, their paranoia started affecting me too…I became distrustful of everyone. The confrontation with Bang Indo certainly didn’t help…in fact, that’s what really fuelled it…
I’m so sorry, Singa…
…I never wanted to hurt you…to hurt us…I’m sorry.”
Warning! Boys Kissing!
His sobs were silenced when Singa pulled him forward and covered his lips with his. Their mouth slanted over one another, moving furiously and desperately against each other.
Mal gasped and Singa pushed his tongue in, eagerly exploring the warm cavern of his mouth, running over the other’s tongue, along his teeth, tasting the roof of his mouth.
He wants to devour this man.
Make him his and only his.
He wants to take away all of his problems…make him think of nothing else but him.
Fuck the world! Fuck this whole damn world! MAL IS HIS!!
Mal then started kissing him back just as desperately, his arms wrapped around Singa’s frame tightly.
Singa rolled them so that he was on top of Mal, between his legs. His hands running along the length of Mal’s body, then dragging them back up underneath his shirt. Feeling the heated skin against his palm, tracing the contours of Mal’s abs.
He wants to touch him…feel him everywhere.
He missed this so much.
Dreams can only do so much.
He wants to keep kissing him forever…but their lungs were starting to protest at the lack of oxygen. It was with great reluctance they released each other’s lips, chest heaving to draw as much oxygen in, blood rushing in their veins and spreading colours over their heated faces.
Their faces were still so close, mingling their breaths into one.
Warning! Ends
“I love you…” Mal whispered, fighting back another wave of tears. “I love you so much...I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”
Singa silenced him with another kiss. A soft kiss that robbed him of his words. Then held his face in his hands, staring straight into his eyes.
“I love you too, you big idiot.”
“…don’t leave me.”
“Never. You’re mine and I’m yours. We’re never leaving each other even if this world burns.”
Mal couldn’t help it, he laughed and Singa, who tried to look cool but failed, laughed along with him.
Indo quietly closed the door, leaving them to their rest. He was honestly surprised when Singa suddenly shouted at him earlier, that’s when he realized that it wasn’t only Mal who has problems with honesty. When he decided to leave Singa with Mal, he was actually worried that they would start another argument...
Now he’s glad he did leave them together…hopefully they are resting and not doing anything else.
They still have another meeting the next day.
“Did they make up yet?” Netherlands asked from behind him.
Indo almost screamed, glaring at the tall blonde Dutch man who appeared out of nowhere.
“That’s none of your business, isn’t it?” He huffed, resuming his walk back to his own room. He frowned when he realized Netherlands was walking beside him.
“Stop following me.” He hissed.
“I’m not. My room is just two doors down from yours.”
Great. Just great.
“Since the lovebirds already made up, would you like to go get coffee with me?”
“No thanks.”
“And one more thing Mal.”
“What is it?”
“Can you tell Thai to keep his hands to himself next time? Otherwise I’ll be tempted to chop them off.”
“Huh? Thai?”
End.