Chapter Text
Sirius is two when he meets his sister for the first time. That seems strange to a lot of non-Purebloods, he learns later in life, but for him, it’s normal. He’s kept separate from her and the home, locked away in his parents’ room and then his own nursery. They see each other sometimes, in fleeting glimpses and mumbled hellos, but they never properly meet until he’s two. When he thinks to ask about the isolation when he’s five, his father looks at him with a small frown. “To keep you safe.” He explains, looking at Sirius like he doesn’t understand why he even feels the need to ask. “How else would your magic grow if it was constantly hindered by illness? No, better to keep you alone and protected from others.”
He’s two, and it’s Christmas when his mother carries him downstairs and sets him down in front of a crouching seven year old. “Hello.” She greets him warmly. “My name’s Carina, and I’m your sister.”
He’s not really sure what to say, so he settles for a meek, “Hi,” and then scoots back to his father’s legs. Carina watches him go with a light grin that he’s not sure what to make of, but the way she winks a moment later makes him think they could be friends.
“Help your brother open his presents, Carina.” His father says mildly, settling a hand on Sirius’ head for a moment. He looks up at his father pleadingly, nervous about the new girl, but his father just pats him and nudges him forward.
“Come on. Mum and Dad give the best presents, you know.” Carina encourages, offering him a hand. He stares at it for a long minute before nervously moving forward to take it. She guides him towards the tree, sparkling bright and pretty, and then takes something out from under the tree and offers it to him. It’s heavy and big, so he sits down and she sets it down in front of him before taking a smaller one for herself. “Here, watch me, this is the fun part.” Carina whispers softly for him, and then teaches him the proper way to tear the wrapping off in the messiest way possible.
Their parents watch them go with some amusement, their father more amused than their mother, and when the pile of messy paper grows to be too much for her, she barks for their house elf to take it away. Sirius and his new sister respond by enthusiastically making a brand new pile, and their father watches with an unrestrained grin.
By the time he’s turned three, right after she’s turned eight, he’s decided that she’s the best sister anyone could ask for. She spends all her time with him - he thinks, at least - and he definitely spends all his time with her. Unlike their parents, she never seems to get bored or annoyed with him, though she does sometimes make him do stuff he doesn’t like. Like cleaning up his toys.
Which causes problems when Regulus joins them for Christmas two years later. He’s less shy than Sirius had been, but in the face of Sirius’ disdain and jealousy, he quickly starts to act even worse than Sirius had. “Behave.” Carina warns him quietly and Sirius scowls, shooting her a betrayed look, and then glares at Regulus even harder. The two year old retreats to the safety of his mother, who stares at Sirius disapprovingly.
“Sirius Black, be kind to your younger brother.” Their dad says sternly and Sirius turns his back to them, scowling.
“If you won’t be nice, you’re going to be separate from us until you can be.” Carina says disapprovingly, and it’s the only warning he has before she abruptly goes to Regulus’ side. “Hullo, Regulus. I’m Carina, your sister.” She introduces herself warmly, too warmly, and Sirius sulks at the base of the tree.
“Hi.” Regulus greets her uncertainly.
“Come on. I’ll show you the best way to open presents. Do you know who Saint Nicholas is?” She asks just as warmly, taking his head, and Sirius can hear their mother’s resigned sigh. When Regulus and Carina sit down at the tree, Sirius can see the mischievous smile on her face. She must see him looking, because she turns suddenly and offers him a playful wink that makes him sulk a little less. “Here. Start with this, and watch what Sirius and I do - don’t worry, it’s fun.” Carina whispers to Regulus, passing him a small gift. She passes a bigger one to Sirius before taking another small one for herself.
It’s nice, he thinks in the end. There’s no better way to bond than ripping paper up and throwing it like confetti while Regulus shrieks with laughter and their father watches on with a fond smile.
Christmas is only the beginning, though. Sirius doesn’t understand Regulus, and doesn’t like him. He’s boring, and stupid, and anytime he tries to tell this to Carina, she looks at him with a frown. “He’s your brother, Sirius. Be nicer to him.” She chides and it only makes him like Regulus even less.
And then she starts spending time with him. It’s awful, and Sirius hates it. She’s his sister, not Regulus’. He tries to tell her this, once, and it ends in him screaming and stomping his feet and Regulus crying and Carina watching him disapprovingly. She hugs Regulus, rocking him as he cries at Sirius’ hurtful yells, and the whole time she stares at Sirius with narrowed eyes. It makes him cry, because she just doesn’t get it, and he storms off to his room and cries into his pillow.
It’s not until he’s stopped crying that she comes in, without even knocking, and sits on the side of his bed. “That was awful of you, Sirius.” Carina tells him quietly and he sniffles into his pillow.
“‘M sorry.” And he is, now that he’s stopped crying. “I just miss you.”
“I’m always here, you silly brat.” Carina scolds lightly. He can hear in her voice that she’s rolling his eyes at him, and it makes him feel worse. She sets a hand on his back, though, rubbing it soothingly, and he hiccups. “I understand it, Sirius, but you can’t let your jealousy get to you like this - it only made things worse, didn’t it?” She points out and he sniffles again.
“Yeah.” He admits reluctantly and her fingers tap a quick rhythm against his spine before returning to rubbing soothing circles under his shoulderblades.
“Yes. And I am always here, you know, it’s just that sometimes I’m with Regulus. You can always join us, though, you know that.”
“He’s boring.” Sirius mutters plaintively. He’s pretty sure she laughs, but she covers it up quickly.
“So were you, and I still spent time with you, didn’t I?”
“‘M not boring!” Sirius argues instantly, rolling over enough to scowl up at her. “He’s just a baby.”
“And you’re a regular, everyday adult, are you?” Carina asks, arching an eyebrow at her, but she’s smiling so Sirius relaxes.
“Yes.” He confirms.
She laughs brightly, and he reluctantly decides to maybe join her and Regulus sometime.
He tries, but sometimes he just can’t stand Regulus. He’s so… stupid. It makes Sirius frustrated, and he often storms out when Regulus and Carina are playing. She’s patient with him, and it makes Sirius even more frustrated, because he wants to be, too. He wants to be as good of a big sibling to Regulus as Carina was to him, but he sometimes just can’t take it.
But then, just after her tenth birthday, Carina starts leaving him alone with Regulus. He’s not sure where she goes, but their parents go with her, and when they come back, she looks… uneasy. Then downright nervous, and finally, one day she comes home looking scared. She locks herself away in her room, Orion watching her go with a small frown, while their mother looks outright furious.
“Carina Vulpecula Black! You will come out here right this minute and apologize for your rudeness!” Walburga shouts, and Sirius does the smartest thing he can do. He grabs Regulus and tugs him back to the four year old’s room. Even then he can hear their mother screaming, like she’s starting to do more the older they get. It makes him nervous, listening to her shrill yelling and, eventually, Carina starts yelling back too.
“It’s not right, mother!” She yells and Walburga makes an angry growling sound.
“It is right, you ignorant brat. He’s a respectable pureblood, and the only one even close to your status, girl!”
“I don’t care! He’s rude! He’s a snob.”
“And he should be!” Walburga shrieks, sounding insulted, and Sirius hears a loud crash. “HOW DARE YOU!” His mother’s voice echoes it’s so loud, and Sirius flinches a bit even though they aren’t anywhere near them.
“Carina!” Orion barks disapprovingly, and Sirius shoots Regulus an anxious look before he hesitantly leaves the room. Regulus snags his hand and creeps along behind him, pressing close to Sirius. A loud smack echoes down the call, followed by Carina giving a quiet yelp.
“You will never use your magic against me, you little bitch.” Walburga spits and Regulus whimpers at the word. Sirius flinches as well, fear and anger warring with one another as he rounds the corner. Walburga stands outside Carina’s open doorway, a shattered globe lying against the wall behind her. He recognizes it as her Christmas present from last year. It had a snowy owl in it that sang, and Sirius winces at the sight, knowing Carina had loved it. Orion stands a few feet behind Walburga, his arms folded against his chest and his expression foreboding.
“You should be ashamed, Carina.” Orion says flatly, almost threateningly, and Sirius leans to see Carina standing just inside her room, a hand pressed to her cheek. She flinches at Orion’s words, bowing her head so her hair (and hand) hides her face. “Your behavior has been atrocious. You are our daughter and we love you, but you are Pureblood, and it is not your responsibility to carry on the Black line.” He lectures her, stepping forward to set a hand on Walburga’s lower back. The furious woman leans into him slightly while Orion glowers down at Carina, who keeps her head bowed.
“You will accept this, and you will be pleased to know that we’ve arranged such an auspicious marriage for you.” Orion warns her, falling silent for a moment. Carina nods slightly and he softens, stepping away from Walburga to set his hands on Carina’s shoulders. He leans down slightly so he can look up at her face, his voice low and surprisingly gentle - like Sirius had never heard it before. “The Malfoy’s have long wanted to become part of our family, and through you they will. You’ll be cherished.”
Sirius doesn’t understand much of that implication, but he can tell it’s meant to be comforting - and he can tell that it absolutely isn’t. Carina just gives a short, jerky nod and steps away from Orion, who straightens with renewing displeasure. “Please, may I be alone to think about this?” She asks quietly and Sirius thinks he can hear her voice shake. His father must, too, because he looks even more displeased as he nods.
“Fine. But this is your future, Carina. You’d be wise to accept that now.” He says with a hint of threat before turning and guiding a glowering Walburga away. Carina watches them go before she throws a hand out to grab the door, the limb trembling as she eases it shut. Sirius waits, watching his parents disappear around the corner, and only then does he dart forward, Regulus anxiously hovering along behind him. He knocks nervously at the door, which swings open so fast he doubts she’d even taken her hand off the knob.
She stares down at them for a moment, her chin quivering before she offers a weak, trembling smile. “Yes?”
Sirius looks up at her uncertainly, chewing his lip. “Are you okay?” He asks after a moment, quiet and nervous, and Carina lets out a soft sob, sinking to her knees. He’s not sure how to react, but a moment later she grabs him, pulling him gently into a hug and crying against his shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” Regulus asks anxiously, patting her lightly on the shoulder, and Carina lets out another sob at that.
“I’m so sorry.” She says, shaking her head before pulling away from Sirius. He can only watch it utter bemusement as she seizes Regulus next, crying against him as he warily hugs her back. “I’m sorry we were born to this bloody family. I’m sorry you’ll have to go through this, too.” Carina sniffles and Sirius steps back, chewing his lip. He almost steps on a shard of glass and turns to look down at the broken globe, his brow furrowing. He remembered the way her face had lit up when she’d opened the gift from their father, and the way she smiled anytime she saw the snow-white owl inside it.
He glances at Carina, still crying against a helpless Regulus, and then back down at the shattered glass.
What if…?
Sirius crouches down over the remains, flicking the shards towards the now-dismantled white owl, and contemplates the pile. He reaches for it and concentrates, picturing the way it had looked and urging it back to that state, and then…
It does.
He gapes at it for a moment, watching the water rise back up out of the carpet and into the reforming globe, the owl floating again in the water. When the last shards slide into place, the owl flaps it’s wings and does a little flip, and Sirius grins widely, scooping it up. “Rina! Here!” Sirius jumps to his feet and turns, offering it proudly. “Look!” He insists and Carina slowly lifts her head from Regulus’ shoulder, looking at him blearily.
“What is it…?” She trails off, blinking as he beams proudly at her. “I…”
“I fixed it.” Sirius informs her, still grinning, and Carina reaches up to wipe the tears from her eyes. Her cheek looks bright red, but after a moment, it wrinkles with her own grin.
“Sirius! That’s…” She stares at the globe as the owl flies around in it, swooping and diving and flipping around, and lets out a bright laugh. “That’s incredible! Come on, we have to show mum and dad!”
His smile almost disappears, but in the face of her proud enthusiasm, he can’t quite lose it entirely. She seizes a confused Regulus by his hand and jumps to her feet, setting her other hand on Sirius’ shoulder.
“Come on, they’re going to be so happy, Sirius. I’m so proud of you!” Carina laughs again and Sirius lets her guide him down the hall. He’s not sure why she’s so happy all of a sudden, or why she even wants to see their parents when even he’s nervous to, but he goes along with it because she’s grinning at him. She knocks the second they reach the door, and after a few moments, Orion opens it with a deep set frown.
“What is it?” He asks and Carina crouches down beside Sirius, moving to grip both his shoulders.
“Show father what you did, Sirius.” She encourages with so much pride that Sirius can’t help but feel it too, holding the globe up to Orion expectantly.
“I fixed it.” Sirius explains and Orion blinks slowly at him, then glances past him to Carina. He feels her nod before Orion’s gaze darts back to his son, a soft smile pulling at his lips.
“Walburga, come look at this.” Orion commands, reaching down to gently take the globe from Sirius. The woman in question pulls the door open further, looking irritated until Orion presents her with the globe and mutters something to her. Her eyes widen and she glances down at Sirius.
To his shock, her lips suddenly split in a surprisingly beautiful smile. “Oh, Sirius, I’m so proud of you!” She exclaims, taking the orb from Orion and examining it as the man crouches down, smiling warmly at his eldest son. “It’s flawless!” Walburga announces, beaming proudly, and Orion’s smile widens as he settles a hand on Sirius’ head.
“Good work, son. You truly are the heir of our House.”
She keeps disappearing, seemingly at random, even after her eleventh birthday. Orion stops going with her and Walburga, though, instead spending that free time with him and Regulus. It was strange, Sirius thought, how his father had suddenly started giving them lessons after he fixed Carina’s globe. It wasn’t even fun, either. The lessons were boring, full of reading and lectures and ‘stop doing that and pay attention, Sirius’s. Regulus, on the other hand, actually enjoyed them, which disgusted Sirius.
He hides from them one day, sneaking into Carina’s room and hoping father doesn’t think to look there. He’s six and can see over the top of her desk as she scribbles against a piece of parchment, pausing when she notices his intrusion. “You’re supposed to knock, Sirius.” She says with a soft sigh and he shrugs, unrepentant. “Brat.” Carina huffs fondly, setting her quill down and turning to face him. Her eyes are red-rimmed and concern immediately wipes away any sense of mischief he’d been feeling.
“Why were you crying?” He demands, glancing at the closed door.
For a moment, she just stares at him, startled by his bluntness. “I… It’s complicated.”
“Did mum hit you again?” Sirius asks, nervously now. “She’s been doing that more, recently.” He adds quietly. Carina winces, looking down for a moment before nodding.
“She has been, yeah. We’re… disagreeing about something.”
“About where you keep going?”
“Kind of.” Carina sighs, leaning back in her seat. “She’s forcing me to do something I don’t want to.” Her lips twist in a bitter smile at that for some reason, and Sirius’ concern grows deeper. “I’m trying to fight her against it, but it… it’s not going well. Father’s agreeing with her, too.” Carina lifts a hand to rub at her eyes, then shakes her head and lowers it, staring at him with a frown. “Speaking of, aren’t you supposed to be with him?”
“Um.” Sirius winces, giving himself away. Luckily, because Carina’s the best sister, she just rolls her eyes fondly and turns away.
“Alright, well don’t look to me when he’s scolding you later.” She warns. “Now tell me, does this sound too pretentious?” She asks, passing him the parchment. It’s nice parchment, Sirius realizes, straight from father’s own prized stationary.
He reads it, grimaces, and reads some more. “I don’t know half the words. How do you even pronounce that?” He demands, pointing and showing the paper to her. Carina leans in to read it and smirks slightly.
“Repugnant. It’s like a really strong sense of disgust.”
“Oh. That’s mean.” Sirius notes, passing her back the letter, but she just nods thoughtfully.
“It’s meant to be.” She says distractedly, re-reading the paper and then adding a quick note at the bottom. “Alright. I’ll let this dry and send it in the morning.” Carina decides aloud, setting the paper on a small pile. Sirius blinks and leans in, stretching up to lift the paper and look at the one under it.
“Who’s that?” He asks, surprised, and Carina looks at him with a frown.
“Hmph. You’re too curious for your own good, Sirius.” She scolds, peeling the parchment free from his grasp and then snatching the drawing up from under his fingers.
“It’s not bad. Dad says it’s good to be curious.”
“It’s good for you sometimes, but not always for the other person.” Carina huffs, rolling her eyes before displaying the picture to him. “This is my friend.” She explains.
Sirius stares at the drawing dubiously. The boy in it has weird glasses, and big eyes, too. “You don’t have any friends.” He accuses distractedly, eyeballing the mystery child.
“Merlin, you’re rude.” Carina says, appalled, and Sirius huffs softly before ignoring her.
“He’s got funny hair.”
“And you're eloquent, too.”
“Shut up.” Sirius complains. She just rolls her eyes, of course. “And what’s that on his face?” Sirius asks, leaning in, but Carina snatches the paper away before he can look closer.
“It’s a scar. Now let me show you this neat trick mother taught me.” Carina says, and promptly distracts Sirius by juggling an empty tea cup, her owl globe, and a paperweight shaped like a cat.
With magic.
He cries when she goes to Hogwarts, though he doesn’t admit it. Regulus really cries, right there into their mum’s robes and everything, but he just tears up a little bit. “I want to go, too.” He complains and Carina sighs, crouching in front of him.
“You will, eventually.”
“Five years.” Sirius moans, distressed, and Carina shrugs unrepentantly.
“That’s what you get for taking so long to be born.”
“It wasn’t my choice.” Sirius argues, instantly bristling, and Carina grins at him. Her cat, an abnormally small, black, fluffy thing with bright green eyes and an unnaturally strong glare, sits down beside her and stares at him imperiously. “At least you’re taking Mittens with you.”
“It’s Harriet.” Carina corrects him half-heartedly.
“Mittens.” He argues forcefully.
“Harriet.”
“She has white feet! Mittens!” Sirius points accusingly at said white paws and Carina sighs, rolling her eyes heavenward.
“She’s also got green eyes. Harriet.”
“Green eyes have nothing to do with the name Harriet. You have the worst naming skills.” Sirius sulks when Carina just shrugs.
“I think it’s a perfect name.” She reaches down and pets the cat, who purrs in agreement. Sirius glares at her for that and the stupid furry thing glares right back. “I’ll write to you every day, Sirius. Even if you never respond.”
“I’ll respond.” He mutters, but he’s really not sure himself. Writing anything is boring. Writing letters is hard.
“Mhm. Well, I need to go before the train leaves me behind. I’ll be back for all of the holidays, and with so many stories you’ll be sick of me by the time I leave again.”
“You’d better.” Sirius whines, his eyes burning a bit. Carina hugs him quickly and stands up, her stupid cat lazily joining her.
“I’ll see you for the winter holidays, Mum, Dad.” Carina says warmly to their parents, even though mum had hit her really hard just a day ago. Sirius wasn’t sure what they were arguing about, he’d been outside with Regulus at the time, but she’d needed a Healer afterwards. Orion had yelled at Walburga for it, at least, so maybe she’d finally stop?
He had a feeling that was too much to hope for.
“You’ll go to Slytherin.” Walburga informs Carina, her tone almost threatening. “I’ll have no more of this… resistance of yours.”
“I wouldn’t dream of going anywhere else, mum.” Carina promises, leaning in to give her a quick peck on the cheek. Walburga returns it politely, her lips staying pursed in displeasure as Carina moves on to hug their father. He squeezes her tightly and whispers something that Carina nods at before breaking away and crouching in front of a sniffling Regulus. “Just three months, Reggy, alright? Be nice to Sirius, and write to me every day. Especially if Sirius isn’t being nice to you.” Carina adds with a sideways look of warning at Sirius.
He ducks his head in both embarrassment and defiance.
“Alright.” Regulus sniffles and Carina kisses him quickly on the forehead before rising to her feet again.
“In three months, then. Goodbye, mum, dad.” Carina repeats warmly, waiting for them to echo it before she turns and grabs her truck. She wheels it away towards the Hogwarts Express, Mittens following along after her, and Sirius fights against the tears stinging his eyes.
“Come along, son.” Orion mutters quietly, setting his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “It’s time for us to head home.”
“But the train hasn’t left yet.” Sirius protests as Orion turns him around. He twists his head to look over his shoulder, watching Carina climb up into the train. She stops at the top of the steps and looks back at him, and even though he can’t see it, he knows she’s smiling as she waves at him. He returns the wave meekly as Orion pulls him along, and only when he trips on his own feet does he stop and pay attention to the ground in front of him.
He catches himself awkwardly and winces at the sharp glare Walburga sends him.
Things are… not so good, after that. Their mother starts yelling more, and now it’s suddenly directed at Sirius and Regulus. Their father holes them up most of the day, but that doesn’t make things any better. While he doesn’t yell, anytime they do things less than perfectly, he looks unbearably disappointed in them, with a dash of disgust at their ineptitude.
But he starts teaching them magic, which makes the disappointment worthwhile, even if they only occasionally get to actually cast things. Dad lets him use his wand sometimes, and Reggy uses Mum’s, but it’s only between long bouts of eyeball-melting reading and lecturing. He hates it, but Reg loves it, and their mum loves how much he loves it.
By the time the winter holidays come around, Regulus only gets yelled at half as much as Sirius does. It’s a struggle not to cry in relief when Carina comes home again, dressed in Slytherin green that immediately makes their parents look proud instead of grouchy.
The relief disappears almost immediately. By dinner, Mum’s glaring furious holes into the side of Carina’s face, and Dad’s cutting his steak with unnerving precision. The tension’s bad enough that all Sirius and Regulus can do is keep their heads ducked and pretend they aren’t holding each other’s hands anxiously under the table.
Carina does nothing to make it better, eating her food with utter indifference towards their parent’s obvious, growing anger.
“I received a letter from Abraxas Malfoy this evening.” Father is the one to say, his voice perfectly calm, and somehow, it scares Sirius even more. Kreacher, their new house elf, must agree, because he abruptly disappears into the kitchen.
Carina gives a soft hum of distracted acknowledgement, and Sirius stares at her with huge eyes. That was not helping.
“He tells me that you’ve been actively avoiding Lucius.” Father continues on, idly rolling his knife between his thumb and pointer finger. “That you’ve rebuffed his every attempt to communicate with you.”
“He’s a third year, father. I haven’t much in common with him.” Carina muses, carefully spearing a pea on her fork, and Sirius shoots a nervous glance at his mother.
She’s staring at Carina with more anger than he’d ever seen, her face white with it, and the scariest part is that she says nothing at all. He looks back at Carina, eyes moving under lowered lids, and can see how tight her jaw is. She’s intentionally angering them, and it worries him. “Carina. ” He hisses softly to her, pleadingly, but she doesn’t even glance at him.
“Boys. Go to your rooms. Kreacher will take your plates up there.” Orion says icily, and Regulus doesn’t hesitate to scramble away from the table. Kreacher pops back into the room and levitates the plates, disappearing with them, but Sirius hesitates, looking nervously at his sister. “Now, Sirius.” Orion adds flatly, and something about it makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
He needs to go. Every bit of him screams to run, but he still hesitates, half-frozen and half-desperate. Carina quirks her lips up a bit at him, and it’s all the reassurance he needs to leap up and bolt. Regulus stands in the doorway, looking at him pleadingly - and then with utter relief when he finally hurries towards him. “C’mon.” Reggy whispers the second Sirius reaches him, and once they’re out of the doorway and down the hall a bit, Sirius grabs his hand.
He’s not sure who he’s trying to reassure, but they both need it, especially when the yelling begins in earnest.
And the scariest part is that it isn’t even Mum yelling. In fact, she’s unnervingly silent.
“I never agreed to this!” Carina yells, and unlike Mum, her voice doesn’t go shrill with her anger. If anything, it gets rougher.
“It is not your place to agree with it, Carina!” Orion shouts back and Sirius and Regulus flinch at the loud crash that follows. “You are my daughter and you will obey my commands!”
“Even when your commands bring me nothing but misery? And here I thought you loved me.” Carina spits the words venomously.
“Your sacrifice is a necessary one, Carina, and it wouldn’t make you miserable if you would accept your fate. You will marry Lucius, and you will carry on the Malfoy name, and you will do it with honor!” Orion roars the last words alongside another crash.
“I don’t have a choice, father, but if you think I’m going to do this willingly, then you’re a fool!” Carina snarls, and Sirius pales.
Did she really just…?
“Carina…” He whispers pleadingly, but she doesn’t take the words back, and absolute silence reigns for several seconds.
Kreacher appears in the room with a muffled crack and raises a hand, his eyes huge and terrified. “CRUCIO!” Walburga shrieks, and Carina screams, high pitched and horrible, for a split second before Kreacher’s fingers snap and the room goes eerily silent.
“Young masters.” Kreacher says meekly, his hand and ears drooping miserably, and Sirius stares at the door with wide eyes.
“What’s Mum doing to her?” Sirius demands, whipping around to glare at Kreacher. His ears droop further and he shrinks in on himself, staring guiltily down at the floor. “Kreacher!” He barks, half hysterical, because Carina had screamed -
“Leave him alone!” Regulus snaps, shooting Sirius a dirty look. “He can’t help it. Dad gave you orders, didn’t he?” Regulus adds to the house elf, who nods weakly.
“I’m not to let you leave, or listen.” Kreacher mumbles.
Sirius and Regulus exchange heated stares for a moment before worry overcomes the anger, and they turn uncertainly to the door. They stand there anxiously for several minutes before Regulus tentatively interrupts the silence.
“Should we… play Exploding Snap?”
Sirius almost snarls at him. Their sister was downstairs screaming and he wanted to play a game?
But when he twists around to shout at him, Regulus is staring up at him with wide, too-shiny eyes, clearly desperate, and Sirius sighs as the fight drains out of him. “Yeah. Okay.”
They make it through two rounds before Kreacher (who played intermediary) suddenly disappears with a sharp crack. Sirius and Regulus pause to stare expectantly for his return, which comes mere moments later. “Young Masters are free.” Kreacher says, his voice shaking with emotion, and with a snap of his fingers the silencing spell pops and he disapparates again.
Sirius looks at Regulus, who meets his gaze nervously but strongly, and almost as one, they scramble to their feet and out of the room.
The house is quiet, eerily so after so much yelling, but he gets barely halfway to the dining room when his father rounds the corner, a limp and unmoving Carina in his arms. Sirius pauses at the sight, blood rushing from his face, and then completely freezes at the cold look on his father’s face. “Come with me, boys.” He says quietly - dangerously quietly, sending shivers down Sirius’ spine, and he unthinkingly grabs Regulus’ hand as their father passes by.
Regulus squeezes his hand back, clinging as tightly as he was, and Sirius nervously follows their father. He leads them to Carina’s room where he promptly lays her down on the bed, still limp and unnaturally pale. Every couple seconds, a limb twitches slightly, but she doesn’t stir, and their father stares down at her intently.
“Watch closely, boys.” He orders flatly. Regulus flinches at his tone but he and Sirius both watch Carina in growing discomfort.
It’s horrible, looking at her. The twitching, the way her eyes don’t so much as flicker, and the faint, slightly raspy labored breathing is all unnatural and disturbing. Sirius swallows back his nausea, finally daring to lift his gaze from her and up to his father. He almost flinches, because Orion is staring at him with a stern, unforgiving expression. “You will both stay with her, and you will learn from this. This ,” Orion gestures slightly to Carina’s prone form, “is the price of disobedience and defiance. I am your father, and until the day I die, you will respect my decisions, and follow them through without hesitation.”
The commanding words echo in the room as both his sons stare at him with wide, shocked eyes. “I was too gentle with her.” Orion mutters, looking down at Carina with a tense frown. “That was a mistake I will not repeat.” With a sharp, warning glare at his two sons, he snaps his cloak around himself and strides out of the room. The door shuts behind him, and as Sirius stares at it in numb shock, the lock clicks into place.
“It’s called the Cruciatus.” Carina explains to them hoarsely when she finally is able to function again, a full twenty hours later. She’s sitting on the side of the bed, her blanket around her waist and legs, with a shawl over her shoulders. Her hands shake terribly as she tries to drink tea, so Kreacher perches himself beside her and carefully uses magic to steady the cup for her. “It’s a terrible curse. Arguably the worst of them all. It…” Carina flinches slightly, lowering her gaze to her cup, and Sirius clenches his fists tightly at his sides. “I won’t describe it. I couldn’t do it justice even if I wanted to, and I don’t.” She says, her voice shaking slightly, and Regulus gives a tiny, quiet sniffle beside Sirius.
“I was under it for twenty minutes. It only takes thirty minutes to cause permanent damage.” Carina adds in a distant sort of tone, staring at her free hand as she plays with the fringe on the throw.
“Permanent damage?” Regulus asks in a meek voice and Carina’s gaze snaps to his. She smiles immediately, a gentle and adoring smile, and her entire body seems to relax. Sirius feels himself relaxing as well - it’s unnatural, seeing her so tense and… disturbed.
“We’ll talk more about that later. All you need to know now is that it’s one of the three darkest curses in the known world, and that Hogwarts doesn’t even teach you that they exist until seventh year.” Carina explains, and then immediately snorts and rolls her eyes. “Which, of course, means mother taught me it when I was ten. You’ll be learning it at ten as well, I’d imagine.”
“But it’s dark.” Sirius protests immediately, his eyes wide, and Carina looks at him with an almost pitying expression. It makes him blink, and then it’s his turn to roll his eyes. “Right. Somehow forgot what family we’re in.” He mutters, glaring down at the carpet. The stupid, depressingly grey carpet.
“Sirius…” Regulus whispers reproachfully and Sirius turns his glare on him instead. Unlike the carpet, Regulus flinches.
“Come on, Reggy. You know the kind of things mum and dad have been planning on teaching us next.”
“Wait.” Carina interrupts sharply, her brow furrowed in concern. “They’ve been teaching you magic?”
“I- Well, yes.” Sirius blinks at her in confused surprise. “Ever since you left.”
“Merlin.” Carina hisses, reaching up with a shaking hand to pinch the bridge of her nose, nearly poking herself in the eye in the process. “I didn’t realize. I’ll…” Carina pauses, then lowers her hand and shakes her head. “Well. Learn as much as you can - magic is magic. It’s how you wield it that matters.”
“But… dark magic…?” Regulus trails off uncertainly.
“Dark magic is dark.” Carina assures him, but it only makes Sirius more confused.
“But you just said-” He cuts himself off when Carina sighs and pulls her blanket tighter.
“You should leave, Kreacher. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with mother and father.” Carina tells the house elf gently. He winces and bows his head, reaching out to carefully take the tea from her hands. Carina smiles warmly at him and Sirius thinks he sees Kreacher blush before he disapparates. He opens his mouth and instantly Carina’s shooting him a warning look that has him closing it again.
He clears his throat awkwardly.
“Dark magic is dark, that’s unquestionable, but some spells can be used for good - though most of them can’t. Has father taught you much about dark magic yet?”
“Not really.” Sirius admits and Carina frowns, but nods thoughtfully.
“Well. The difference between dark magic and most other magic is that dark magic requires emotion. A rare few so called ‘Light’ spells do, as well, but not in the same way. Take the Patronus charm, for example. It’s a pinnacle of ‘Light’ magic because it requires you feeling the utmost joy to cast it.”
“Seriously?” Regulus asks skeptically. “That sounds like something written by Beedle the Bard.”
Carina just shrugs shamelessly. “Well, it’s true. It’s also famously impossible for dark magic users to cast. But, that means true dark magic users. It’s only those who have lost themselves to dark magic who can’t.”
“Lost themselves?” Sirius questions, frowning softly. “How do you lose yourself to magic?”
“It’s… complicated. It’s not like dark magic is alive or anything like that, but it is… it requires you to embrace and enhance your worst parts. Opposite of the Patronus charm, most dark magic requires you to feel a negative emotion to be able to cast it successfully. For instance, opposite of the Patronus charm, the Cruciatus Curse is one of the three pinnacle Dark Arts spell.” Carina explains, her voice growing soft. “Whereas the Patronus requires you to be feeling the utmost joy, to cast the Cruciatus Curse, you have to be feeling the utmost hate.”
“But mum doesn’t hate you!” Regulus protests immediately. Sirius looks at him sharply, annoyance rising, but Regulus shakes his head firmly. “I know she doesn’t. She and dad talk about you all the time, and she was smiling so much when she read about you getting into Slytherin, and-” Regulus trails off, looking painfully confused. “She doesn’t hate you.”
“It… It’s complicated, Reggy.” Carina says tightly, wincing. “It’s complicated.”
“What does that mean ?” Regulus demands, jumping to his feet. “‘It’s complicated’? How? Either she hates you or she doesn’t, and I know she doesn’t-”
“We heard her cast it!” Sirius snarls at his brother, climbing to his feet too. “And we heard-”
“Stop it!” Carina snaps, her voice rising like mum’s does and Sirius flinches a little at that. “It’s complicated, okay? Yes, the spell requires you to be feeling hatred, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be about the person you’re casting the spell on.” Carina explains sharply. “So it’s complicated.” Sirius looks down at his feet, wrapping his mind around that, and for a few tense minutes, the room is completely silent.
“But you were screaming and she kept casting it.” Sirius realizes aloud in dawning disgust. He looks back up, meeting Carina’s pained gaze, and sees Regulus’ own head snap up at that. “For twenty minutes.”
Carina stares at him, her lips pressed together in a thin line. She doesn’t answer at first but Sirius holds her gaze, demanding and a little bit pleading. “She kept casting it?” Regulus asks meekly, and Carina closes her dark eyes and exhales slowly through her nose.
“Yes.”
He doesn’t like the Dark Arts much after that. He hadn’t liked them much before that, but he really doesn’t like it afterwards. He tries to hide it, though, because the first time he’d made a face, father had looked like he would hit him. Sirius is daring, only more so with every passing day, but he’s not quite that brave yet. He’s only a little embarrassed to be so afraid of his dad.
So he and Reggy keep their heads down and follow father’s and mother’s instructions, and luckily, the spells they learn are normal ones. He knows, because he starts writing to Carina about everything they do during their lessons.
In return, she writes to him and Regulus about everything they do in her lessons, and gives them a heads up about a fight she’d gotten into with Lucius Malfoy. Sirius recognizes the name and understands deeply why the letter is followed by an apologetic one saying she won’t be coming home for Easter.
Unfortunately, their angry parents adjust their holiday plans ‘accordingly’. Instead of spending Easter at home with the family, Walburga takes them both out to get new dress robes to spend the holiday at Arcturus Black’s manor. He hates the trip to Diagon Alley - it’s dull without Carina there to help him make his daring escapes from Walburga’s claws. Regulus actually likes spending time there with her, but Sirius hates it. She doesn’t let him do anything he wants and just yells at him to pay attention all the time.
It’s not his fault that the new Cleansweep Six looked awesome.
Sadly, the Easter party was decidedly not awesome. All his cousins were there, which included Bellatrix and Narcissa. Narcissa, at least, was just quiet and boring. Bella, on the other hand, was miserably loud and bratty. She was a sixth year, though, which had a curious Regulus immediately darting to her. Something Bellatrix had tolerated with a surprising amount of patience, even if most of it was the condescendingly amused kind. Narcissa, though she was born the same year as Carina, had been born in summer instead of fall, so she was a second year.
Andromeda, on the other hand, was a fourth year and the only one there he was excited to see - a feeling that seemed mutual by the way she beamed at him and immediately abandoned her sisters.
It’s the only thing that makes the evening bearable. He’s not entirely sure why a fourth year wanted to spend hours playing games with a seven year old, but it’s fun, and by the time their parents carry them through the floo and back to their manor, he and Regulus are both exhausted.
He goes to sleep reluctantly thinking that he might actually have enjoyed himself.
There’s a tenseness when Carina comes home for the summer. Their parents don’t yell or hit her anymore, but there’s irritation anytime mum looks at her. Father seems disapproving still, but he doesn’t push whatever the problem is. When Carina’s W.O.M.B.A.T. scores come in two weeks later, he even smiles proudly at her. “Outstandings in every subject. You bring your house pride, Carina.” He tells her warmly and she smiles a little in response.
Later on, after they’ve had dinner and a celebratory cake, Sirius waits for Regulus to go to his bedroom and then heads for Carina’s. The light’s on in spite of the late hour and he opens the door quietly and slowly, giving her plenty of warning before sliding into the room. She’s sitting at her desk, quill poised over a piece of parchment, and looking at him with an arched eyebrow. “My time away has killed your manners.”
Sirius huffs grouchily and closes the door (gently!) behind him. “No one ever explains why I have to do certain things and not other things.”
Carina, to his relief, gives a very familiar, faintly amused and very fond smile. It puts him at ease immediately and he meanders over to her side, peering up onto her desk. He doesn’t have to lift up onto his toes to comfortably see the parchments anymore, and the letter makes him frown. “Is… Lucius… the person you and mum and dad are fighting over?”
“Yes.” Carina confirms with a soft sigh. “You don’t need to worry about it, Sirius. I’m handling it.”
The quiet, tense tone in her voice makes Sirius frown. “Are they going to start yelling again?” He asks suspiciously. Carina smiles again and this time it’s much more bitter.
“It seems very likely, at this point.” Carina says, then gives her parchment a troubled frown. “Any time he and I speak, he reports it to his father, who reports it to our father, who reports it to our mother. It’s… difficult.”
Sirius stares at the parchment as well, taking in the distinct lack of ‘Dear’ in front of ‘Lucius’. “You don’t want to marry him?” Sirius prods after a moment of silence and Carina huffs softly.
“Not at all. Not even remotely. He’s… He shares mother’s opinions on things.” Carina says this like it’s some big confession, but it just confuses Sirius.
“You… don’t?” He guesses after a moment and Carina shakes her head.
“I don’t. I don’t think Muggles are vermin, or dirt. They’re humans, just like us. Intelligent creatures capable of incredible things. The only difference is, they don’t have magic.” Carina explains, shaking her head, and he stares at her in confusion. After a moment she sighs and turns in her seat to face him better, her expression lecturing. “Tell me, Sirius, do you think mother is mean to Kreacher?”
“I- Yeah.” Sirius blinks at her, startled, and she nods.
“Kreacher has magic, doesn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“So tell me, Sirius. If mother is willing to treat Kreacher - a compassionate, intelligent creature who feeds us and cleans for us - as poorly as she does, what would she do to an intelligent creature who doesn’t have magic?”
Sirius frowns at her for a long moment before he realizes that she wants an actual answer, and then he frowns even harder. “I… I don’t know.”
“Good.” Carina mutters, surprising him, and then she sighs. “Let me ask you this. Do you think someone deserves to be beaten and… decapitated… like our last house elf, just because they weren’t born with magic?”
Sirius slowly shakes his head, staring at her pensively. He relaxes a little when she nods firmly at him.
“Good.” She repeats with just a hint of pride, maybe, and it makes him more confident in his decision. “Muggles are people too. A very different kind of people, but people nonetheless. One day, when we’re older, I’ll show you Muggle London and you’ll see for yourself.”
“Really?” Sirius asks excitedly and she nods, smiling a little. “I miss going places with you. Mum always drags me around and yells at me and you know how Regulus is with her.” The little traitor takes her side at every turn.
“Yeah, I know - and yes, I mean it.”
“Awesome.” Sirius breathes out, glancing back at the letter. He frowns, tilting his head a bit to the side. “What’d he do to make you so angry?”
“Did you hear about the Minister?” Carina asks softly, a hint of anger in her voice, and he looks up to see her scowling at the letter.
“Yeah. She’s retiring. Mum’s pretty happy.”
“Mhm. Of course she is, Minister Leach is a muggle-born. Abraxas Malfoy, Lucius’ father, poisoned her.”
“What?” Sirius gasps, looking at her in shock. “But- but that’s illegal!”
“Sirius.” Carina mutters darkly and reprimandingly and he recoils a bit at the unexpected tone. She frowns severely at him, gaze flickering back to the letter for a moment, and shakes her head. “You’re too good for this family, Sirius.” She sighs softly after a tense time, lifting a hand to prop her chin up. She doesn’t say anything else, staring pensively at the letter, and Sirius stares at her, utterly lost by her mood swings.
“...I’m going to bed.” He says at last, and she only gives a soft hum of acknowledgement. It makes him all the more eager to leave, anxiety itching at his skin as he heads back to his room.
He’s not sure why his sister’s acting so strangely, but it makes him nervous.
It’s only after a vicious two months of screaming, fighting, and tense truces, in constant repetition, that Carina finally leaves for her second year at Hogwarts. It worries him that he’s actually relieved to see her go, because it means an end to the horrible, stifling dread that constantly filled Grimmauld Place that summer.
Except it doesn’t last.
She returns for Christmas and, surprisingly, the peace lasts throughout the entire visit. It’s nice again, having her there, but then she leaves again and his and Regulus’ lessons with their father suddenly take a dark turn.
The Unforgivables, Orion says their titles are, and even just reading about casting them makes Sirius feel sick to his stomach.
‘I don’t want to do it, Carina. You were right. They’re the worst of dark magic, and I don’t want to do it,’ he writes to her after three days of anxious sweating.
‘Then don’t.’ She writes back. ‘Think for yourself, Sirius - you know what’s right and wrong, even if father’s forgotten. I support you.’
It’s the last three words that do it.
They’re nowhere near being ready to even practice casting the spells, but Sirius takes the advice to heart nonetheless, and the next lesson on it, he refuses to cooperate. Instead of writing an essay on how to successfully cast the curses, he folds his arms and refuses to move.
It’s the first time Orion hits him.
He never forgets it.
“Come with me.” Carina instructs the second their parents leave the room. She’s only just returned for the summer and Sirius can’t even imagine protesting, following her up to her room. Harriet (Mittens) hops up onto Carina’s bed immediately, curling on the pillow, but Carina pays the cat no attention. “Sit up.” She tells Sirius instead and he reluctantly abides, hopping up onto the side of the bed. Carina closes the door behind her and crouches slightly in front of him - but only slightly, because he’s eight now and getting taller.
“Don’t tell mother or father about this.” It’s all the warning Sirius has before Carina whips her wand out and jabs it at his face. “Episkey.”
Sirius flinches at the uncomfortable bubbly sensation around his cheek and the corner of his lip, and he sees a bit of blood zip away from him and into the tip of her wand. “There. Better?” Carina asks, her brow furrowed, and Sirius lifts a hand to his face.
His suddenly unbruised, uncut face. “How…? But you’re underage?” He asks incredulously and Carina grins slyly at him. He relaxes at that, relieved she doesn’t seem focused on his injury.
“That’s a secret, Sirius Black.” Carina says smugly, her smile widening. “Now, tell me, what did you do to piss off dad so much?” She asks eagerly, and when Sirius stares at her in dumb surprise, she arches an eyebrow. “What? I’d recognize that cheek cut anywhere - it’s from the bloody signet ring, yeah?”
“You’ve been talking to Gryffindors.” He accuses, stunned by her choice of words, and she laughs.
“No - it just infuriates Lucius to no end when I talk like a ‘dirty half-blood’.” She quotes, leaning in mischievously. “Now, tell me. What’d you do?”
It takes him a moment to overcome his shock at seeing his beautiful, charismatic, pure-blood sister encouraging his defiance. Finally, he leans in a bit as well. “I asked him why I’d want to become Head of a moldy, inbred House like ours.”
He doesn’t expect her to laugh so hard at that, but it makes the weight of his misery ease a lot , and he finds himself giggling a bit as well.
“Merlin, tell that one to Bellatrix sometime. The look on her face.” Carina laughs even harder and Sirius snorts.
“If I did that, I’d die before I had time to laugh.” The sad thing was, he wasn’t sure he was wholly joking. The new Hogwarts graduate had seemed unusually unhinged at the last family gathering, truthfully.
“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure of that.” Carina says slyly, nudging him lightly. “You’ve got me to protect you, don’t you?” She asks with a grin.
He blinks at her, torn between wistful bitterness (where have you been these nine months I needed you?) and utter relief. Finally, he weakly smiles back. “Yeah. I guess I do.”
If she hears his uncertainty, she firmly ignores it, instead rising to her feet and lifting her wand again. “Now, since I spoiled the secret of me being able to cast magic at home, I might as well show you a few tricks. Want to learn something that isn’t Dark magic for once?”
Sirius does sag with relief then, looking up at her with big, desperate eyes. “Yes. Please.” He whines, and Carina laughs brightly before transfiguring her dresser into a pig that jumps at a bristling Harriet and proceeds to chase the hissing cat throughout the room.