Chapter Text
❦ I just feel crushed without you ❦
Boil lay down on the vacant bunk, not feeling very well that evening. Everything around him was a mess, the world spun, though he was sure the alcohol hadn't gotten into his mouth. He was clean.
Today some shinies arrived in the 212th Battalion. He smiled as he remembered the little initiation they had given them. These were maybe not as famous and well-known as in the 501st Legion, but just as fun. He hoped that one of those joyful moments would always remain with him.
"Remember our beginnings in 212, Waxer?" He asked, waiting for an answer from the upper bunk. His smile faded and there was no answer.
He didn't remember. His brother didn't remember anything anymore...
Boil tried his best to hold back the tears.
"Don't cry!" He shouted to himself. "Don't Cry! Not again!"
Sleep. Try to sleep. Try to forget. It's just another time...
"I kriffing miss you vod," he whispered, unable to hold back a sob anymore. He just pressed his hand to his mouth and even bit his skin to muffle his raging emotions. "I…" He broke off, trying to hold back the stinging tears in the corners of his eyes. "I'm so sorry."
He felt defeated.
Another night where he was kicked by the past.
Another night, when he fell asleep alone, still remembering his best friend's wide smile... perfectly remembering his voice, his laughter, his care...
He was destroyed.
Boil felt someone's fingers running slowly through his hair. He didn't want to open his eyes, and he squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to wake up, he didn't want another day, he didn't want more orders and more voices in his head.
"You're so lazy, Boil." He heard a soft laugh.
"I'm not lazy, I'm just tired. This is a fundamental difference," the man muttered.
"We are the best people of 212, we have to show our best side. Get up, Boil!"
He would recognize that voice even at the end of the galaxy.
"Waxer?" He asked softly, slowly opening his eyes.
"And yet you are awake, little brother," Waxer said with a smile.
Boil got up abruptly and sat on the bunk for a moment without taking his eyes off his brother.
"How is this possible? Am i having hallucinations?"
"You're asleep. You fell asleep after that… everything," Waxer sighed. "I know this is fucked up, Boil. I wish, it wasn't."
"After Umbara... I couldn't be like I used to be. I had so much resentment for Rex, even for Kix, that they didn't tell me about you. I wasn't with you! When I found out about your death, you know, from Restly, I laughed right in his face, thinking he was joking. The shiny didn't know what happened. He was looking at me seriously, so I fell silent. When I finally got to you, it was too late."
"I've been thinking about you for the last seconds. I was wondering if you were alive," Waxer said softly, sitting down next to his brother. He took him in his arms, hugging him tightly. "When I died... I met all the other boys from the squad, but you weren't there. I felt relieved, I think."
Boil nodded, then snuggled closer to the body of his closest friend.
"What is this dream? A Goodbye?" Boil muttered.
"No, vod'ika. I will never leave you."
The arms held him for a long time. Maybe for a few minutes, maybe hours. Boil wasn't sure, but he didn't want them to ever let him go. Could he stay asleep forever?
"Wake up, Boil," Waxer whispered.
Wake up.
Just wake up.
I don't want to lose you.
"I will never leave you...
Boil opened his eyes and smiled sincerely for the first time in months, feeling cleansed. He breathed slowly, allowing himself a few short moments, devoid of dark thoughts.
"Everything is fine," he kept repeating in his head. "Everything is okay."
Or maybe it was his brother's voice… their voices were identical.
He smiled again, knowing he wasn't alone. He will never be alone.