Archive of Our Own

Kiyoomi is fucked. He is so incredibly, royally fucked that he can't even remember which way is up and which way is down. Why in the hell did he have to tell his teammates that he was seeing someone?

Oh right, so they would stop trying to set him up on dates with people around campus. It had started with girls-because for some reason, every single person on his team thought he was straight-then once they found out he was actually gay, it switched to guys. And somehow every single guy they managed to find had been sleazy and terrible and trashy and-

Basically it was not good. Like at all.

So he'd decided to tell them he had a boyfriend and they'd finally, finally stopped trying to set him up. He was grateful for the brief solace that the lie brought him but now he's super mega incredibly fucked because now they're all begging him to bring this mystery boyfriend to their upcoming volleyball awards event so that they can meet him.

This is why he's sitting in his apartment three weeks before the event on a video call with Motoya which he is regretting because now his cousin is laughing at him and making fun of him for putting himself in such a brainless situation.

"Alright, you've made enough fun of me now," he grumbles. "Are you going to help me or not?"

Motoya lets out one last dwindling laugh. "Kiyo, I don't know if you remember, but pretty much all of my friends are pro volleyball players, which means that they're in the public eye. I'm pretty sure that everyone on your team is gonna see right through your lie."

Kiyoomi lets out a frustrated sigh. "Yes, I know that."

Then, just to contradict himself, Motoya says, "You could always ask Ushijima-san. He's managed to keep his private life out of the public eye fairly well, so no one would know if you're actually dating or not. Besides, didn't you have that huge crush on-"

"No, I don't know what you're talking about, Motoya, and even if I did, I can't ask that of Wakatoshi-kun."

"Well why not?"

"He's busy with practice. There's also the fact that he's taken."

Motoya makes a surprised noise, his eyebrows flying up. "Wait, really? Who's he dating?"

Kiyoomi groans. "I can't tell you because that would be a direct breach of Wakatoshi-kun's trust."

"Come on," Motoya whines.

"No."

"Ugh, fine." He pauses, thinking for a moment. An idea must pop in his head because his face lights up and asks, "What's Atsumu doing that weekend?"

Kiyoomi's eyes widen. "No, I'm not asking Atsumu."

"Why not? You guys are friends, right? I'm sure he wouldn't mind. We're off season right now anyways so it's not like he'll be busy with practice or games." Motoya looks to his right and calls out, "Hey Suna, do you know if Atsumu has any plans coming up?"

There's a hum followed by some footsteps and then Suna appears on screen. "I don't think so. He usually visits his mom at the beginning of May and Osamu is too busy with the shop right now so he doesn't want to bother him. Why?"

Motoya gives a coy grin to Kiyoomi. "No reason. Thanks!"

Suna shakes his head and walks away, muttering, "Whatever, ya fuckin' weirdo." His tone is light, though, so he doesn't actually mean it.

"See? He doesn't have any plans coming up." Motoya sounds triumphant, like this is some kind of contest that he's won.

It makes Kiyoomi want to smack him.

"Okay, and? I already knew that. Atsumu was telling me about his plans a couple of weeks ago." Immediately he freezes.

Should not have told him that , his brain says on repeat.

"Aha! So you were already thinking about it!"

"No, I wasn't!" Kiyoomi has to bite his tongue to keep from letting out a frustrated scream. Why did the universe have to curse him with Motoya for a cousin?

Luckily, Motoya seems to take pity on him because he says, "Just ask Atsumu and if for whatever reason he says no, I'll try to help you find someone else. Okay?" Kiyoomi grunts an affirmative. "Alright. Talk to you later?"

"Yeah," he responds. He'd really like to tell him no but Kiyoomi knows that Motoya will just weasel his way back into his good graces somehow anyways. His phone screen goes back to his contacts app once Motoya ends the call.

It doesn't matter what happens; he is not asking Atsumu to be his fake boyfriend. He isn't going to ask that of Atsumu and he isn't going to put himself into that position of Atsumu's boyfriend (whether fake or real) again. He doesn't think his heart could take it if he did.

Through the rest of the evening, Kiyoomi's thoughts are dominated by what Motoya suggested no matter how much he tries to think about other things. He knows that Atsumu has no plans that weekend and he knows that the blonde would more than likely be willing to help him out, but there's the issue of them being exes.

They'd gotten together shortly after the training camp their second year and things had gone great. Both boys made an effort to see the other as much as they could, always keeping up with each other via text or late night phone calls or FaceTime. But it got difficult, maintaining grades and making time to travel between Hyogo and Tokyo to see each other. So they mutually decided to break it off but remain friends.

Kiyoomi never told Atsumu how much he cried that night. It had been the most difficult decision up to that point to break things off with Atsumu.

After graduation and Kiyoomi went to university and Atsumu signed to MSBY, they still made time to text each other, even going so far as to schedule a weekly FaceTime on a night when both of them are free. They've only missed one call in the four years they've been doing this and it was when Atsumu was so sick that he couldn't do anything (which of course, made Kiyoomi travel all the way to Osaka and take care of the big baby. Motoya says that proves Kiyoomi still has feelings for Atsumu. Kiyoomi says it doesn't.).

Kiyoomi's phone rings at a quarter to ten and he doesn't need to look at the caller ID to know who's calling. Atsumu had set his ringtone to some terrible pop song he'd been obsessed with and since no one else had their own ringtone on Kiyoomi's phone, he always knew when Atsumu called.

As soon as he hits the green button, Atsumu's face appears on his screen. "Hey, Omi-Omi! Whatcha doin'?"

"Well I was working on homework until you interrupted," he deadpans.

Atsumu rolls his eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah, ya know ya'd rather be talkin' ta me anyways. 'M much better than homework."

"Sure, just keep telling yourself that, Miya."

"So how's yer day been?"

Kiyoomi hums as he finishes typing a sentence for his paper. "Not terrible. Motoya called me earlier and was heckling me. How about your day?"

"It was good! Bokkun an' I finally managed ta nail this move we've been working on fer a couple weeks. 'M excited ta try it out against the Adlers when we play 'em next season."

A small smile pulls Kiyoomi's lips up just a bit at the excitement in Atsumu's voice. "That's great."

"Yeah." Atsumu shifts around and his hair splays out on the pillow. "Suna texted me earlier."

"Oh?" A lead weight drops in his stomach; he can already tell where this is going.

"Yeah, said somethin' 'bout how ya have some volleyball event comin' up an' ya need someone ta go with ya."

Kiyoomi lets out a quiet groan. "I told Motoya that in confidence. I knew he was going to blab."

A soft laugh comes from the other end of the call. "Ya know, I am gonna be free tha' weekend if ya want me ta come along."

He shakes his head. "I can't ask that of you."

"Why not? It's jus' a regular volleyball event. Suna said it was an awards ceremony. Not like I haven't been ta plenty of those."

"I just can't. It wouldn't be fair."

"To me or to you?"

"Both."

Atsumu sighs. "C'mon, Omi, ya gotta gimme a better reason than tha'."

"Because I told my team that I have a boyfriend so I need someone to be my fake boyfriend so they don't realize I was just telling them that so they'd stop trying to send me on blind dates." All of the words rush out of Kiyoomi's mouth before he can stop them. Atsumu's eyes widen just a little at the outburst. "Sorry," he mutters.

"No, s'okay. S'tha' why ya didn' ask me already?" Kiyoomi gives a small nod. "Kiyoomi, 'm an adult. I can pretend ta date my ex fer one night with no issue."

"Atsumu, I can't ask you to do that."

"Why? We ended things mutually, we're still friends, there's no bad blood. 'Sides, the most we can do is cheek kisses an' holdin' hands."

"They're not going to believe we're actually dating."

"Well then we make it seem believable. Can't be too hard ta make it seem like we're in love, right? S'like ridin' a bike."

Kiyoomi groans. "It is not like riding a bike, Atsumu."

"They prob'bly think yer all prickly an' avoid touch anyway so it won' be too hard ta make 'em believe we're datin' if we jus' hold hands."

"Why are you so adamant about this?"

Atsumu shrugs. "'Cause ya need help an' I know yer too damn stubborn to ask fer it. 'M free that weekend anyway so we can go ta the event Friday night an' then spend the rest of the weekend doin' fun stuff 'round Tokyo." The blonde shifts again and Kiyoomi swears he sees a hint of pink color his cheeks. "An' we haven't seen each other in a while so it's a good excuse ta come see ya."

Kiyoomi sighs. "Alright, fine."

"Awesome! Text me all the details."

"I will."

"Talk ta ya later!" Atsumu gives a wave and then the screen goes black. Kiyoomi sets his phone and stares out his window for a moment before the realization hits him.

"Did that fucker just convince me to let him be my fake boyfriend?"

He sends Atsumu the details for the event later that evening, along with a scathing reprimand about how he turned the tables on him.

All he gets in response is:

9:36pm

From: Atsu

It'll be fun! ;P

He sighs. This is going to be a long three weeks , he thinks.

Kiyoomi spends the next week focusing on his classes. Atsumu texts every day, just like normal, but now his usual texts are interspersed with texts about the event and questions about his teammates and what they should wear.

Motoya laughs at him again when Kiyoomi tells him that Atsumu is going with him. Then he calls Suna over and Suna laughs too.

"You'd better hope neither of you run into me around the city because I'll be arrested afterwards," Kiyoomi seethes before hanging up.

A couple of texts from Motoya comes through a few minutes later.

2:41pm

From: Motoya

I'm sorry, Kiyo, it's just kinda funny how things turned out.

2:43pm

From: Motoya

Just don't let yourself get hurt, okay?

That Friday, two weeks before the event, a knock sounds on his door shortly after he gets home. He glances up from his textbook, confusion scrunching his eyebrows together. He doesn't have anyone visiting as far as he knows. There's another knock and he reluctantly gets up, going over the door.

"What do you-" he says as he opens the door, only to stop and stare at the person standing on the other side. "What are you doing here, Miya?"

"Oh c'mon, Omi-Omi, s'tha' anyway ta treat yer boyfriend?"

"None of my teammates live in this apartment building."

Atsumu shrugs. "Better safe than sorry. Ya gonna let me in?"

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes and steps aside so that Atsumu can step inside. "You didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

Atsumu shrugs as he sets his bags down. "Figured it'd be fun ta see ya. We can practice our fake datin' if ya want. I also came down ta see Sunarin an' Samu fer the weekend."

He doesn't completely believe Atsumu but he decides he won't press the issue. “How do you propose we ‘practice our fake dating’?”

“I dunno, maybe walk ‘round the city, act like we’re on a date?”

He crosses his arms. “Okay, what should our ‘date’ be?”

The setter lets out a hum. “We could go ta tha’ little coffee shop a few streets away thatcha like. They still got those cute little rolls, right?”

Surprise hits Kiyoomi; he hadn’t expected Atsumu to remember his favorite coffee shop; he'd only mentioned the place once when he first started university. “Oh, yeah, they still have them.”

“Great! Ya wanna go now?”

“Sure.”

Atsumu holds out his hand for Kiyoomi to take. “Don’ worry, I used some hand sanitizer. Can’t have any germs’r nothin’ runnin’ ‘round these fingers.” He wiggles his fingers and sends him a wink.

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes but takes his hand anyway. Atsumu’s hand is warm and slightly calloused but just as soft as he remembers. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t feel nice. After making sure he has his keys, they walk down the street-still hand in hand-to the coffee shop between Kiyoomi's apartment building and campus. It's not too busy, just a few university students typing away on their laptops and an older couple sitting together in one corner.

Kiyoomi tries not to notice how they're looking at each other. That's how you and Atsumu used to be , his mind cruelly reminds him.

They walk up to the counter and Atsumu orders for both of them-an iced coffee with oat milk for him and a chai tea for Kiyoomi-before he can say anything. Kiyoomi raises an eyebrow at him and shrugs.

"You always get the same thing," he answers simply.

Kiyoomi grumbles but can't think of an actual response to hit back with so he lets it slide. They take their drinks and sit at one of the corner tables away from everyone else. Atsumu slides in next to him, their hands still tightly interlocked.

"So Omi-Omi, why didja come up with a lie about a boyfriend instead of tellin' yer teammates ya didn't like the blind dates?" Atsumu asks.

Always straight to the point , Kiyoomi thinks grumpily.

He gives a shrug, taking a sip of his tea. "I don't know. I just kind of . . . blurted it out."

Atsumu raises an eyebrow at that. "You? Blurt somethin' out?"

"It happens on occasion, you know."

"Yeah, maybe ta me'r Toya-kun'r Sunarin. Yer not really the type ta jus' say the first thing tha' pops in yer head though. Ya always gotta think everythin' through first."

This is a good point. It's a great point, actually, because unfortunately, Atsumu's right. Kiyoomi isn't the person to just blurt random things out. But he can't tell Atsumu that his reasoning is the fact that saying you're in a relationship and explaining why your significant other can't come meet anyone is a hell of a lot easier than saying that you're still not completely over your high school boyfriend who is now your best friend and you still have incredibly strong feelings for.

"Things happen," he says simply.

Atsumu hums but he can tell that Kiyoomi doesn't want to talk about it anymore so he doesn't press it; Atsumu is annoying that way, because he can still read Kiyoomi like a damn book. And yeah, they could explain it away with the fact that they're best friends, but anyone that really knows them knows that it's because they've known each other inside and out since their second year of high school.

"So graduation is soon, yeah?" Atsumu asks. Kiyoomi hums an affirmation, grateful for the subject change. His thumb is mindlessly running along Atsumu's knuckles. "Ya gonna send me an invitation?"

"Atsumu, you already know you're invited." What's the point in sending any invitation to someone who is already going to be there? It's like sending an RSVP to the groom of the wedding.

"Omi, s'not official til I get an invitation!" he whines.

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes. "You don't need an invitation."

A weight lands on his shoulder and he looks down to see Atsumu looking back up at him, puppy dog eyes on full blast. "Please, Omi. I wanna be able ta look at it in years ta come!"

"Why would you do that?"

"I dunno, call me nostalgic, I guess."

"Ugh, fine, I will send you a damn invitation."

"Yes!" Atsumu says, a little too loudly. A couple of the students glare at him and he winces. "Sorry," he apologizes, voice much quieter this time.

Kiyoomi smiles into his tea. "That's what you get."

Atsumu pouts at him and Kiyoomi had to suppress the urge to smooth out his eyebrows. "Tha's not nice, Omi."

He lets out a soft hum. "Well, unlucky for you, no one said I had to be nice."

"Yer so mean ta me," Atsumu whines, burying his face into Kiyoomi's shoulder. His breath is warm against Kiyoomi's skin but even though he should be disgusted-revolted, even-he can't be because this is Atsumu. It's Atsumu and he knows that Atsumu respects his boundaries and probably cleaned up at Suna and Osamu's apartment before coming to his apartment. So he just pats his soft hair and lets him whine.

Later that evening, they're back in Kiyoomi's apartment watching some shitty American show that Atsumu swore up and down was actually really good. Atsumu is spread out along the couch, his head in Kiyoomi's lap because "yer lap is comfy, Omi!" and Kiyoomi's hand is running through his hair. They've done this a hundred times before, both before and after the end of their romantic relationship but this time feels different than all the other platonic times they've done it.

At this point, he isn't paying any attention to the tv, his attention solely focused on Atsumu. His hazel eyes are closed and his breathing is even but Kiyoomi knows he's still awake. The atmosphere around them is calm, a stark contrast to how it was earlier in the coffee shop. His nails scratch gently at Atsumu’s scalp and the blonde gives a soft hum in response.

Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we’d stayed together? Kiyoomi wants to ask Atsumu so badly but he can’t bring himself to actually say those words because what if Atsumu doesn’t? What if he doesn’t think about him in any other light but platonic now? What if he doesn’t think about the ‘maybes’ and ‘what ifs’ that their relationship could have been had Kiyoomi just stuck it out and dealt with the distance like an adult instead of turning and running away like a scared child?

That’s what it boils down to, really: Kiyoomi was the one who ended things because the distance scared him and he blamed his grades-which weren’t even suffering, really-and how he couldn’t go see Atsumu as much as he liked and broke things off, breaking his own heart in the process. He pushed Atsumu away but was too selfish to do it completely, keeping him as a friend but not allowing either of them anything more. It was selfish and idiotic and definitely the thing that he regrets the most but what’s done is done.

A finger poking his cheek brings him back to reality and he realizes that Atsumu has turned onto his back, hazel eyes staring up at him with concern behind his glasses. “Ya okay, Omi? Ya zoned out on me fer a bit.”

A small smile works its way onto his face but it’s tight and fake and he knows that Atsumu can see right through it. “Yeah, I’m fine, Atsumu. Just thinking.”

“‘Bout what?”

“How I’m best going to torture Motoya.”

That draws a laugh out of the setter, a high-pitched sound that makes Kiyoomi’s smile just a tad bit more genuine. “Why’re ya gonna torture Toya-kun? All he did was tell Sunarin 'bout yer predicament.”

“Exactly, that was his first mistake.”

“Aw, c’mon, Omi. Ya can’t torture ‘im jus’ fer tha’. S’not nice of ya.”

“It’s a good thing I’m not the nice cousin then.”

Atsumu laughs again, his eyes crinkling in that way that Kiyoomi loves. “Ya can’t jus’ be a dick ta yer cousin jus’ ‘cause he told Sunarin ‘bout the whole fake boyfriend thing.”

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes. “Fine, I’ll find a different reason then.”

“Tha’s not what I meant!”

The rest of the weekend goes by much too quickly for Kiyoomi’s liking. Contrary to popular belief, he does enjoy spending time with Atsumu, even if it’s just for a few days. They go on a few more 'dates'; they go back to the coffee shop, they go to the library (Kiyoomi wanted the newest book in a series he's reading), they go to a couple of restaurants, they take a couple of long walks in the park. Atsumu holds his hand whenever they're out of the apartment and calls him pet names that he pretends to hate. All very couple-y things. It's all so domestic and it kind of scares him how quickly he's able to fall right back into that mindset with Atsumu. He's not sure if he'll be able to keep the charade up until the event; he's terrified of doing something that will ruin both their facade and their friendship.

“Don’ miss me too much, Omi-kun,” Atsumu teases as they wait for the bullet train on Sunday.

Kiyoomi scoffs teasingly and rolls his eyes. “Like I’d miss you that much, Miya.”

“Nuh uh, we’re not goin’ back ta Miya! Ya call me Atsumu an’ tha’s it! Ya only call Miya when yer mad at me.” He lets out a gasp. "Are ya mad at me? Did I not do somethin' right? Was I a terrible roommate this weekend?"

"What? No, you were just fine as a temporary roommate." Just like you always are .

Atsumu lets out a breath of relief. "Oh thank god, I don' think I coulda handled any disappointin' looks from ya today."

"I'm sure you would be just fine."

"Nope, I'd've died , Omi."

Kiyoomi snorts out a laugh. "You're so damn dramatic."

"Am not!" Atsumu pouts, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yer the dramatic one."

The late afternoon sunlight hits Atsumu's hair, making it shine like gold. It makes his face light up and Kiyoomi has to make himself look away because the setter looks absolutely radiant . His heart is definitely not skipping because of Atsumu. Absolutely not .

"Omi, ya alright? Ya keep zonin' out on me."

Kiyoomi shakes himself out of his reverie. "I'm fine."

Atsumu chews his bottom lip and his hand almost comes up to pull it out of his mouth because it's a bad habit of his and he's told him so many times before that it'll just ruin his lips but he stops himself. He doesn't have the right to do that. They aren't actually together, it's just fake.

We're just friends , he reminds himself.

"Look, Omi-"

Even though he knows he can't see it through the mask, Kiyoomi gives him a tight smile. "It's alright, Atsumu. I'm okay, really. I'm just . . . stressed about school, that's all." Please don't press it. Please don't.

Sighing softly, Atsumu nods. "Okay," he murmurs. "If ya need anythin', though, 'm here fer ya. Ya know tha', right?"

Tension bleeds out of his shoulders, letting him relax a little, letting him smile a bit more genuinely. "Yeah, I know. Thank you."

There's a hiss a few meters away and they both look over to see the train pulling in. They look back at one another and Atsumu gives him a small smile. Kiyoomi swears he sees a hint of sadness in the man's face.

"Well, I'll see ya next week?" He sounds slightly hopeful but hesitant, like he's afraid that Kiyoomi will actually tell him no.

"Yeah, next week is fine." Kiyoomi gives him a reassuring smile.

Relief crosses Atsumu's face. "Alright. I'll see ya then. I'll text ya when I get back ta Osaka."

"That sounds good. Be safe."

Atsumu throws him a wink. "Always am, Omi-kun."

He rolls his eyes but lets out a low laugh regardless. "Go get on the train, dumbass."

"Yer dumbass, though!" Atsumu calls back as he walks away.

Kiyoomi can't help the pang of sadness that hits him as he watches Atsumu get on the train.

Yeah , he thinks, you are.

The week passes slowly and his school work is not nearly enough to keep Kiyoomi preoccupied. Atsumu runs rampant through his head. They call each night, usually when Kiyoomi is studying. Atsumu talks for a little while and then falls quiet, occasionally making sure Kiyoomi takes a short break. Each night around midnight, Kiyoomi looks up at his phone and sees Atsumu fast asleep, soft snores filtering through his phone speaker. He can't help the smile that makes its way onto his lips. The blonde just looks so peaceful when he sleeps, even if he does drool a little bit. Somehow Atsumu manages to make even drooling attractive.

He'll usually hang up after that and go to bed himself, only to wake up in the morning with a text from Atsumu.

7:21am

From: Atsu

Have a great day Omi! Sorry for falling asleep on ya!

The messages never fail to make him smile and it does usually make him have a better day.

The morning text on Friday is a little different than the ones from the rest of the week, but only because Atsumu is letting him know that he's heading to the station now and should be in Tokyo in a couple of hours.

He goes to class-even though he'd really rather be at the train station to meet Atsumu-and hurries home afterwards, making sure to send Atsumu a text to let him know he's done with class for the day. Atsumu shows up twenty minutes later, after Kiyoomi showers and cleans up the apartment a bit.

"Omi!" Atsumu exclaims when Kiyoomi opens the door.

"Hi, Atsumu." He steps aside, letting him in.

"So I was thinkin', tomorrow we could go ta the museum? I know none of yer teammates'r gonna be there prob'ly but s'good practice fer next week, right? Getcha more comfortable bein' kinda touchy."

"Yeah, that sounds good."

How did I let myself be talked into this again? Then a grin appears on Atsumu's face and he thinks, Oh, right. Damn him and his persuasion skills.

They don't have any plans for that evening and Kiyoomi is glad for that. They can just lay around the apartment, not worrying about anything or anyone but each other. It comes as no surprise when they end up on the couch, in the same position they were last weekend: Kiyoomi sitting upright with Atsumu's head in his lap and his fingers running through dyed blonde waves.

Atsumu had turned on some British drama this time, saying that their posh accents and funny period costumes added to the humor of it. Halfway through the second episode, Kiyoomi looks down at Atsumu, finding his eyes closed and breathing even, his glasses trying to slip down his nose. Soft snores fall from his lips and Kiyoomi lets a small smile make its way onto his face.

One of his fingers on his free hand lightly trace Atsumu's forehead and eyebrows, smoothing them out. Atsumu lets out a soft sigh, shifting slightly before relaxing again. His head is turned more towards Kiyoomi now, almost pressing into the hand still threaded in his hair.

"What am I going to do with you, Atsu?" Kiyoomi whispers, more to himself than to Atsumu. He glances up at the clock. 11:36 . He sighs and shifts, sliding out from under Atsumu. Atsumu lets out a groan and turns over, grabbing Kiyoomi's hoodie with a loose hand. "Atsumu, go back to sleep. I'm just going to bed."

"Mm, noo," the blonde whines lowly. "Stay out here wit' me."

"Atsu," he sighs.

"Pl'se? S'kay ta stay, ya know."

How can he say no to that? Atsumu isn't even looking at him but he's still somehow got him pinned. "Alright," he relents. "Let me go grab a blanket from the closet and I'll be right back." Atsumu lets go of his hoodie, albeit a little reluctantly, and Kiyoomi walks down the hall to the closet, grabbing the blanket that Atsumu always uses when he comes for a visit. It was a blanket that Mama Miya had made for Kiyoomi for the first Christmas that he and Atsumu were together and he couldn't bear to get rid of it after he broke things off. Sometimes when he's really craving the warmth of the Miya home or Atsumu, he wraps the blanket around himself tightly.

He shakes the memory off and walks back to the living room. Atsumu is clearly fighting sleep but perks up when Kiyoomi walks back in the room. His hands come up, making grabby motions at Kiyoomi. A soft laugh slips between his lips and he lays down on the couch next to the setter, making sure to slip Atsumu’s glasses off his face and set them down on the side table. He spreads the blanket out, successfully covering both of them. These couches were definitely not made for two full-grown athletes, even if one is leaner than the other, but somehow they manage to fit mostly comfortably. Atsumu's head is tucked underneath Kiyoomi's chin, his hands loosely tangled in the spiker's hoodie while Kiyoomi's arms are draped around Atsumu, fingers running gently along his back. They fit together perfectly. Kiyoomi hopes that Atsumu can't hear how fast his heart is beating.

Atsumu gives a soft sigh of content and murmurs, "G'night, Omi-Omi."

"Good night, Atsumu."

As much as he hates to admit it, Kiyoomi sleeps better that night than he has in a while. Maybe it's because of Atsumu, maybe it's because the temperature is just right in the living room, maybe it's because he-

No, definitely because of Atsumu , his brain taunts. Of course, he refuses to tell Atsumu this because it'll only serve to fuel the man's ego and he cannot deal with that today.

They get up later in the morning, both content to lay there and bask in the little bit of morning sun peeking through the blinds, neither one quite ready to get up. Finally around ten, Kiyoomi untangles from Atsumu and showers while Atsumu folds up the blanket and waits for his turn in the bathroom. After they're both showered and ready, they walk down to the coffee shop hand in hand again.

Atsumu's hand is nice to hold and his fingers fit nicely with Kiyoomi's. It's comfortable and familiar, walking side by side with him, their fingers entwined with one another. They walk inside the coffee shop and the barista's face lights up at the sight of them. Earlier in the week, she had asked Kiyoomi where his boyfriend was, since she'd seen them together over the weekend before. He'd told her that he'd gone back to Osaka for the week, not quite wanting to tell the truth. It's not like she knew any of his teammates or who he was but he told himself that he didn't want to take any chances.

It didn't make the lie any easier, though.

"Good morning!" she chirps. "How are you today?"

"We're good, Hayami-chan! How are you this morning?" Atsumu replies cheerfully.

"I'm great! Would you like your usuals?"

"Yes, please," Kiyoomi says. He hands over the money before Atsumu can dig his out and she starts making their drinks. As they wait, Atsumu leans against Kiyoomi, laying his head on his shoulder. A thumb runs back and forth against the back of his hand and he barely suppresses the shiver that runs down his spine.

"Sakusa-san!" Hayami calls out as she places the drinks on the counter. Atsumu moves forward, untangling their hands so he can grab the cups. He hands the tea to Kiyoomi and slips his hand back into his.

"Thank ya Hayami-chan! Have a good day!"

"You too!" She gives them a bright smile before turning to help another customer.

Kiyoomi lets Atsumu lead him out of the shop and down the street. "So Samu is talkin' 'bout openin' a branch in Osaka," Atsumu say as they walk.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he said somethin' 'bout wantin' ta expand business but we both know tha's a buncha shit. I mean, it would be good fer 'im ta open another shop, but I think he's lonely here in the city. He'd be closer ta Ma in Osaka." He'd be closer to me , are the unspoken words that Kiyoomi hears. No matter how many times the twins deny it, Kiyoomi and Suna both know how much they miss each other.

Kiyoomi hums and takes a drink of his tea as they arrive at the bus stop. "Aren't he and Suna still together? Moving out of the city would put some distance between them."

"They're still together but Samu figures tha' he can spend most of his time in Osaka while it's the on season an' then durin' the off season he can come back ta Tokyo an' spend that time at the main store and with Sunarin. Suna talked ta me 'bout it an' he said he doesn't mind that. He's pretty busy durin' the on season so even when he gets home from practice, some nights he barely has time ta eat before he passes out." 

"Oh."

"Yeah. I kinda envy 'em, in a way."

"Why's that?"

"Well, they've been together fer years an' even through all the shit tha's hit 'em, they're still goin' an' they keep goin', no matter what happens. I guess 'm kinda . . . envious of tha'?" Uncomfortable silence hovers between them for a moment. "Uh, not ta say tha', ya know, nothin' won't happen between 'em, jus' sayin' tha', um, I-I think it's great how they're . . . doin' great." He clears his throat. "'M jus' gonna shut up."

Kiyoomi is unsure how to respond. On one hand, he could get upset and ask Atsumu if he's trying to hint at something, hint at how Kiyoomi handled things when they were still teenagers. On the other hand, he could ignore it and try not to let it bother him, even though it really bother him a little bit (even though he feels he doesn't have a good reason for it to bother him).

He goes for the latter.

Letting out a hum, he runs a reassuring thumb along Atsumu's hand, hoping that it's soothing for the setter. "I think Osamu should open the Osaka branch. I know you miss each other."

At that, Atsumu lets out a gasp, looking at Kiyoomi like he's just been offended. "Omi! How dare ya accuse me of such a heinous thing! I do not miss tha' shithead."

"Oh, right, of course. How could I do such a thing? How completely idiotic of me," he teases.

Atsumu pouts. "Yer mean, Omi-Omi." They get on the bus, Kiyoomi standing close to the door-careful not to touch the pole-and Atsumu standing in front of him, acting like a shield from the rest of the rest of the bus. "How dare ya accuse me of missin' Samu's idiot ass?"

"Oh please Atsu, you could barely stand being away from each other as kids. You barely lasted the entire week at training camp our second year." Atsumu says nothing, only staring at Kiyoomi, eyes slightly wide. "What?"

"Ya called me Atsu," he says quietly.

Damn it, Kiyoomi. "Sorry, it just slipped out. I-"

"No, no, it's okay," Atsumu rushes to say. "You haven't called me tha' since . . . ya know. S'nice ta hear it again." He looks almost shy as he asks, "Couldja use it more of'en? If ya want ta, o'course."

Oh. That's not really the reaction I was expecting .

"Uh, yeah, I can do that," he says quietly.

The grin that appears on Atsumu's face is going to make him blind if he keeps staring at it. "Thanks, Omi."

He looks away, hoping that Atsumu doesn’t notice the flush that is definitely coloring his cheeks and peeking above his mask right now. “You’re welcome.”

They spend the remainder of the trip talking quietly amongst themselves as they switch from the bus to the train station, even though Atsumu is the one doing most of the talking. Their hands are still intertwined, stuffed into one of Kiyoomi’s jacket pockets as Atsumu stands in front of him, a barrier between him and the other passengers. Finally, their final stop at Ueno Station is next and Kiyoomi has never felt so happy to get off of a train.

Kiyoomi takes the lead out of the train station and through the park to the museum. He knows this area fairly well, having spent many weekends coming to the museum with Motoya and even a few times with Atsumu over the years. Atsumu seems content to let him lead, making occasional comments about the scenery or someone they pass. When they get inside, Atsumu pulls out his wallet and pays for their tickets.

“Atsu-”

“Nah, I got this one, Omi.” He sends him a wink and a smile. “Ya can get the next date.”

It’s not a real date. It’s not a real date. It’s not a real date , Kiyoomi thinks. But then the way that Atsumu takes his hand again and tugs him into the main building and looks excitedly at everything, constantly looking over at Kiyoomi to make sure he’s having fun too makes him rethink it. Is this really fake? Can you fake a date this much? How much until it becomes real?

They’re about halfway through one of the outdoor exhibits a couple of hours later when they hear a loud call of “Hey, Sakusa-kun!” somewhere behind them. Kiyoomi turns and looks, his eyes finding one of his teammates.

“Kamei-kun, hello,” Kiyoomi greets as the man jogs over to them. His hand tightens around Atsumu’s for a moment and he feels Atsumu gently squeeze his hand back in reassurance. The gesture is a small one but immensely soothing.

“Is this the boyfriend you told us about?” Kamei asks, looking between Kiyoomi and Atsumu.

Kiyoomi nods. “This is Miya Atsumu.”

“Nice ta meetcha,” Atsumu says, holding out his hand.

“Woah, nice accent! I’m Kamei Touma,” Kamei responds, shaking Atsumu’s hand briefly. His dark eyes study Atsumu for a moment. “Hey, aren’t you the starting setter for the MSBY Black Jackals?”

Atsumu, ever one to love praise, puffs his chest out a little. “Yeah, I am.”

Kamei grins. “That’s so cool! It’s awesome to meet you, Miya-senshu.”

“Ya can call me Atsumu. I got a twin brother.”

“Oh yeah, you guys were like a power duo in high school. I remember hearing about you; it was a pretty big deal.”

Atsumu shrugs, letting out a hum. “Yeah, it was pretty great. The real big deal in the high school circuit was Omi-kun, though.” He nudges Kiyoomi’s shoulder with his own a little, a grin on his face. “He’s so insanely good, it’s crazy!”

“His wrists bend so much, it makes his spikes so intense!” Kamei agrees.

Kiyoomi shuffles his feet a little, already starting to feel uncomfortable; it’s not really the fact that they’re talking about his wrists or playing ability, it’s more the fact that Kamei was one of the team members who had been so insistent on finding Kiyoomi a date. The movement makes Atsumu look over at him.

“Ya alright, babe?”

He tries not to let the surprise show on his face at the pet name. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Hazel eyes study him from behind tortoise-shell rims for a moment before looking back at Kamei. “It was nice ta meetcha, Kamei-kun, but Omi an’ I got some errands ta run before supper tonight so we should probably get goin’.”

Kamei nods understandingly. “Yeah, that’s cool. You’re coming to our event next week, right? We’ve got an awards ceremony next Friday.”

“Yeah, Omi told me ‘bout it. Wouldn’t miss it fer the world.” Atsumu flashes one of his award-winning grins and then they’re turning and leaving.

“You didn’t have to do that, Atsu,” Kiyoomi mutters. He’s grateful that Atsumu could tell he was starting to get uncomfortable but he still feels it was a bit rude.

“S’alright, I could tell ya were reachin’ yer limit. He seems like a nice guy, just a tad too excitable. Not really Bokkun levels but close.”

Kiyoomi lets out a hum. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“No problem, Omi-kun! After all, what’s a fake boyfriend for?”

Right; fake boyfriend .

The reminder that all of this is fake and the end drawing closer and closer make him dread the event even more.

Just like the previous weekend, this weekend passes by much too quickly for Kiyoomi’s liking. He feels like it passes him by and he's just stuck, watching everything pass by him in a daze. They meet up with Motoya, Osamu, and Suna for lunch on Sunday before Atsumu heads back to Osaka and right before Astumu and Kiyoomi leave the deli, Motoya pulls him aside.

“Are you okay, Kiyoomi? You seem . . . sad.”

“I’m fine, Motoya."

"You're obviously not."

Kiyoomi grits his teeth. "Don't worry about it."

"You know you can be honest with me, right? It isn't going to kill you to actually talk to me about your feelings."

"Well what do you want me to say? Hm? That I'm still in love with him? That I constantly wish that I hadn't been a fucking coward and just dealt with the distance like an adult? That breaking up with him is the biggest regret of my life and that pretending to date him is fucking killing me because I know it's not real and probably will never be again? How is that fair to him, Motoya? How is my inability to move on fair to him? He's probably moved on and hasn't given a second thought to it. I can't do that. Believe me, I've tried." His throat feels like it's closing up and he can barely breath, his lungs refusing to cooperate. Tears are starting to blur his vision but he doesn't really care much at this point because at least now he can't see the look of pity that's surely on Motoya's face after his outburst.

"Omi, didja mean all of tha'?" Atsumu's voice is small and hesitant, like he's afraid of the answer. Kiyoomi turns and looks at him, eyes wide.

Shit, I hadn't meant for Atsumu to hear that. Damn it, Motoya.

His breath hitches. He can't do this, not here and certainly not now. "I-I have to go."

"Wait, Omi-"

Before Atsumu can finish, Kiyoomi turns and hurries away, praying to any deity that is listening that none of them follow him. The universe seems to take pity on him for once because no one does. He can't tell if he's glad about that or sad.

When he finally reaches his apartment, he locks the door behind him and lets himself sink to the floor, back against the heavy wood and tears sliding down his cheeks. He struggles to catch his breath, lungs shattering with every inhale.

He needs to get his breathing under control. He needs to apologize to Motoya for yelling at him and running off. He needs-

He needs Atsumu.

But you can't have Atsumu because of your little outburst at the deli , his mind reminds him.

His fingers weave themselves into his curls and he struggles to keep in a scream. He knew this was going to end in disaster. Why did he have to let Atsumu talk him into this?

Because you love him , that voice taunts.

A broken sob leaves his chest and he does nothing to stop it. He feels ridiculous, sitting against his front door and crying, but the thought that Atsumu probably hates him and wants nothing to do with him now that he knows Kiyoomi's secret makes him cry harder.

He knows he has no right to be upset about any of this because he was the one who ran off, he was the one who just confessed to Motoya-and Atsumu-that he's still in love with the setter, he's the one that got them into this whole situation in the first place.

That doesn't stop him from crying until his eyes finally refuse to let any more tears out.

Later that night, he gets a text from Motoya:

10:12pm

From: Motoya

Atsumu made it back to Osaka. Are you doing alright? I'm sorry I pushed you.

10:16pm

To: Motoya

I'm not but I'll be fine. Thanks.

Monday passes slowly with a few messages from Motoya and even a few from Osamu and Suna but none from Atsumu. Their usual Facetime call doesn't happen that night, nor does it happen the rest of the week leading up to Friday. Kiyoomi, for once, lets himself mope around the apartment. He goes through each day in a daze, feeling like he's not completely there.

Motoya shows up at his door early Friday morning, his mouth set in a hard line.

"Come on, Kiyoomi, we're going out."

"No."

"Get dressed, let's go."

"No."

Motoya groans. "Why are you being difficult?"

"Because you show up at my apartment at 7 in the morning and tell me to get dressed without telling me where we're going and just expect me to go along."

"Alright then, we're going to Onigiri Miya. I thought it might be good for you to leave the apartment and get some fresh air."

"I don't want to go."

"Atsumu isn't going to be there."

"I know that," Kiyoomi says defensively.

A sigh escapes Motoya. "Kiyo," he says, his voice softening, "you can't just hide out in your apartment forever."

"I haven't been hiding ," Kiyoomi protests weakly. "I just haven't needed to go anywhere outside of class."

"That sounds an awful lot like hiding out to me."

Kiyoomi grits his teeth, his hands fisting together. The urge to yell at his cousin is growing but he can't do that so he pushes the urge away, filing it away for another day. Instead, he decides to prove Motoya wrong. He is not hiding; he doesn't even have anything to hide from. Atsumu lives in Osaka, not Tokyo. "Fine, I'll go," he says.

He showers and dresses quickly before allowing Motoya to drag him to Onigiri Miya. The walk isn't long-fifteen minutes at most-but it's spent in silence. Usually, Motoya would fill the space with mindless chatter but today he doesn't. Kiyoomi can't say that he minds but he's sure that there's something the libero isn't telling him.

The shop is relatively empty when they walk in, just a small group of people in a corner talking quietly amongst themselves and Suna and Osamu leaning against the front counter. The bell above the door chimes and Osamu glances up at the sound.

"Welcome ta Onigiri Miya. Oh, hey, Toya, Sakusa," he says.

They sit at the counter. "Hello," Kiyoomi mutters.

"I finally convinced him to leave his apartment," Motoya says, looking awfully proud of himself.

Kiyoomi glares at him. "I have been leaving my apartment. It's called school ."

"Kiyo, just leaving for class doesn't count."

"Yes, it does!"

"Alright, ladies, calm down," Suna says, rolling his eyes. "It really doesn't count, though." Kiyoomi turns his glare to Suna, who holds his hands up in defense. "I'm just saying."

Osamu sets a plate of umeboshi onigiri in front of Kiyoomi and another plate of onirigi in front of Motoya. "Botha ya knock it off already." He crosses his arms, leaning forward on the counter. "Go 'head an' eat, Sakusa-kun, I gotta talk ta ya when yer done."

Frustration is quickly replaced with anxiety as Osamu stares him down, grey eyes focused intensely on him. He nods minutely and relief floods him when Osamu steps back, looking somewhat satisfied. Kiyoomi eats the onigiri, just now realizing that he hasn't eaten anything yet today.

I blame Motoya for that , he thinks.

Once he finishes, Osamu nods his head towards the back room. "C'mon, Sakusa-kun." He looks at Suna as he takes off his apron, laying it on the counter. "Can ya watch the front fer me fer a minute?"

"Yeah. I'll let you know if anyone comes in."

Osamu motions for Kiyoomi to follow him and he does. As they walk through the small kitchen to the back room nestled in the rear of the shop, Osamu says, "Jus' so ya know, Motoya didn't setcha up'r anythin'."

"What does that mean?" Kiyoomi asks.

"Jus' don't be gettin' mad at me'r Rin'r Motoya."

"Can you stop being so cryptic for a fucking second and just tell me what you mean?"

Osamu opens the door to the back room and motions for Kiyoomi to go in. He does and freezes when he sees a mop of blonde hair. He quickly turns but the door is already shut. "Yer not leavin' this room til ya talk ta him, Sakusa, so get ta talkin'," Osamu says through the door.

A frustrated groan bubbles up in Kiyoomi's throat but gets caught when Atsumu shifts, turning his head to look at him with wide eyes. "Omi? What're ya doin' here?"

"I-" Whatever excuse Kiyoomi is about to pull out of his ass stops when he sees how disheveled Atsumu looks. His eyes, usually so bright and vibrant, have dulled and are red-rimmed behind his glasses. Blonde locks hang limply in his face. "Atsumu, are you-are you okay?" he asks, his voice soft and hesitant. Then he realizes that no, he is obviously not okay and that was an incredibly stupid thing to ask. "Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to ask that," he says quickly.

Atsumu lets out a strained, wet laugh and pushes his glasses up to rub at his eyes. "No, Omi, I'm not okay."

Kiyoomi walks around the small couch, sitting down but keeping a small distance between them. "I'm sorry," he mutters.

"S'not yer fault-"

"Yes, it is." He turns his head to look at the setter. "It is my fault. I wasn't able to tell you what I told Motoya and then when given an opportunity to tell you, I bailed. I-I meant everything I said, Atsu. Breaking up with you was the worst thing I've ever done and . . . I never really stopped to consider your feelings. I was so scared about the distance and the fact that I was going to university while you were going to sign with a pro team. I was afraid you would find someone else and that we would fall apart." He takes a deep breath. "I'm not trying to excuse my actions because I was wrong. I should have just trusted you and dealt with-"

"Omi, no ."

"What?"

" No . Ya were scared an' ya did whatcha thought was best, I get it. We were kids . We had every right ta be scared. I was scared too; I constantly wondered if I was good enough fer ya an' if we could make it work despite the distance. When ya said we should break up, I was terrified I'd lost ya forever, but then ya said ya still wanted ta be friends an' I jus' felt so much relief tha' I couldn't feel much else til later tha' night. Ya can ask Samu, I cried fer 'bout two an' a half hours after dinner." Tears start slipping down Atsumu's cheeks and the sight pulls at his heartstrings. "I shoulda said somethin' but I couldn't bring myself ta do it. I didn't wanna keep ya in a relationship if ya didn't wanna be in one, ya know? I couldn't do tha' ta ya, Omi, no matter how much I wanted ta have ya as more than jus' my best friend."

Kiyoomi's hands come up and gently cup Atsumu's face, thumbs wiping away tears as they slide past. "I'm sorry. I was selfish and I ended up breaking both of our hearts,” he whispers.

“I forgive ya.” That's all Atsumu says before nudging Kiyoomi's hands off his face and pressing himself into the spiker's side. "What's done is done an' there's nothin' we can do ta change tha'. We both regret the past but tha's okay 'cause we're here now an' we got our feelings out in the open." He takes Kiyoomi's hand in his, playing with his long fingers as he continues, "I'll be here fer as long as ya'll have me, Omi. I ain't goin' anywhere til ya tell me ta."

Kiyoomi places a soft kiss on top of blonde waves. "Lucky for you, I'm not planning on getting rid of you anytime soon." He feels more than hears Atsumu's laugh, still watery but much more cheerful this time.

"Good, 'cause I ain't lettin' ya go again. Yer stuck with me."

"There's no one else I'd rather have, Atsu."

They go to the awards ceremony hand in hand that night, a bright smile on Atsumu's face and a mask concealing the smile on Kiyoomi's. Atsumu claps and hollers the loudest when Kiyoomi is named the MVP and, even though his face is bright red afterwards, he gives him a quick kiss on the cheek when he gets back to their seats. After the awards ceremony that evening, Kiyoomi and Atsumu go back to Kiyoomi's apartment. They change into pajamas and fall in a heap on the bed, Atsumu curled up against Kiyoomi's chest and Kiyoomi's arms wrapped around him.

"Tonight was fun, Omi. 'M proud of ya fer gettin' MVP," Atsumu says around a yawn.

Kiyoomi gazes down at his boyfriend, hazel meeting black. He still can't believe that they're back together. "It's really not that big of a deal but I'm glad you had fun. I'm just glad I didn't have to socialize much."

Atsumu giggles. "Babe, ya can't jus' ignore people forever, not if ya wanna be a pro athlete."

"Yeah? I can sure as hell try."

"What would the fans think? C'mon, Omi, think of the fans."

"Why do I need to think of the fans and what they think when your opinion is the only one I truly care about?"

Red crawls across Atsumu's face and he hides in Kiyoomi's shirt. "Ya can't jus' say tha'!" he whines

Kiyoomi smirks. "I can and I did."

Atsumu peeks out from his hiding place to glare at him, even though it has no heat to it. "I hate ya."

"No, you don't."

The setter lets out a groan but smiles up at Kiyoomi regardless. "No, no I don't."