Chapter Text
sun•shine (sun′shīn′),
n.
1. the shining of the sun;
direct light of the sun.
2.brightness or radiance;
cheerfulness or happiness.
4.a source of cheer or happiness.
the effect of the sun in lighting and heating a place.
5. a place where the direct rays of the sun fall.
***
The announcing voice resounded on the speakers of the noisy airport. His flight was ready to board.
Fyodor picked up his suitcase. It's pretty light. He's not carrying too many things. He doesn't want to. The purpose of this trip is leaving everything behind, though there's only one thing he wants to keep with him.
Well, not a thing. A person.
He turned to look at Nikolai. He smiled, wide and honest, as always no shade of malice on his golden eyes.
"Don't be sad." Nikolai told him.
"I'm not sad." Fyodor retorted with his classic stoic face.
"Yes, you are. I can tell."
Nikolai can read him as no one else does. He can see through his soul. He's the only person who was able to do so, except for his mother.
"Good things are waiting for you in Japan. I know it. I know Dos-kun is worried about leaving me alone…" he playfully said, "but I'll be fine."
"How am I supposed to sleep without hearing your rambling…?" He asked, swallowing the lump on his throat.
Nikolai is his only friend. And yes, he's worried about him, but a part of Fyodor feels that he will be lost without the blonde. He's been his support for so long.
And Nikolai wouldn't be a doctor without Fyodor's help, but the raven knows that he's probably the most needy one of their weird relationship.
"I'm going to miss you." Nikolai told him, with his face buried in Fyodor's neck, his breath tickling him lightly.
"You're going to miss my dick." He joked, placing a kiss on his temple.
"Yeah… that too." He whined before letting go.
Fyodor wanted Nikolai to come with him, but his friend is not as much as a good doctor as Fyodor is, so the chance of getting a job together vanished almost immediately.
Nikolai IS an amazing doctor. His intense humanity being his strongest skill. But Fyodor is exceptional, which allowed him to get this job in another country.
And there's also the language barrier. They took japanese lessons together, but Fyodor caught it almost instantly. Nikolai came with that silly nickname just out of pettiness for needing the raven's help to study one more time.
"I'll call you as soon as I get to the hotel." Fyodor assured him after his farewell.
He spent a week there, until the real estate finished with the paperwork of his new house. It was fully equipped, and they also put them in contact with a cleaner lady that works for most of the neighbors, so the only thing he needed to do was pick up his new car, his cello and some small things after that.
It's not that Fyodor can't do his own house chores. He manages pretty well, considering he was born with a silver spoon. He was forced to be on his own, and learned to be self-sufficient. But he works too much, and that kind of life doesn't leave room for other things. Sometimes he must choose between sleep or cleaning.
He unpackaged his cello, very carefully. Fyodor was pretty ansty about not being able to carry it with him on the plane. He paid a lot to have it shipped, tracking it obsessively every day.
He sat at the stool, stroking the wood and the strings, caressing them, until he was sure he could feel his mother's arms embracing him lovingly. He wouldn't dare to start playing it until he could feel her presence, almost smelling the sweet scent of her perfume.
The instrument was a gift from her. She gave it to him when he was just six years old, after she caught him eying it in the store, totally fascinated by it.
Fyodor was such a small child, his feet didn't reach the floor when he sat on the stool. Then, he had a sudden growth spurt, getting really tall when he turned fourteen.
He mastered it really quickly, being almost a prodigy on the matter.
Fyodor adjusted the strings, testing their tension and after being sure the cello was correctly tuned, he started playing his mother's favorite piece.
He was very careful that real estate found him a house where he could play anytime without the worry of upsetting the neighbors with the sound. Sometimes he plays too late in the night- or too early in the morning, depending on the perspective- and he doesn't want to have troubles in the neighborhood.
Then, the only remaining thing was to keep practicing Japanese, though he had almost mastered it. But Fyodor is a perfectionist and he doesn't want to kill a patient or cause trouble because he misread a kanji.
***
Fyodor had never felt insecure about his professional skills. Not a single time. Not even when he was a student. But for some reason, there's something about being seated at Mori's desk that makes him feel wobbly. Everything has felt surreal these last weeks since he arrived.
The fact that the man doesn't stop praising him is not helping. Fyodor doesn't think there's something to brag about in his curriculum. He just does his job as best as he can. And that's all.
A knock on the door interrupted the moment. A man stepped in. Brown messy hair and bandages on his neck and arms called Fyodor's attention.
"Oh, Dazai-kun!" Mori greeted him. "I was waiting for you. This is Fyodor Dostoevsky," he introduced him, "our new general surgeon."
He bowed politely, taking a seat at his side without being asked, which shows familiarity between them. He's posture is relaxed, in opposition to Fyodor stiffness. He could say he looks almost disinterested.
"This is Dazai Osamu, he was my best student, and don't get fooled by his young age, he's also one of our best doctors. You will be his replacement, so you have some big shoes to fill. But that won't be a problem with your impressive experience. The two of you have that in common."
Dazai took the folder from Mori's desk as if he owned the place, quickly reading Fyodor's achievements and skills.
"Wait… You're younger than me? But you have more experience?" He asked, feeling a pang of jealousy crippling through his body.
"Fyodor-kun started medical school after turning sixteen."
"I was homeschooled." The Russian explained.
"You graduated at nineteen as the best of your class?" Dazai read in awe and the raven nodded.
Dazai has nothing to envy. He's the best doctor in the hospital and the youngest executive in the board's history. But this guy is impressive.
"Why don't you show him the hospital and introduce him to the rest of our staff, Dazai-kun?"
"Yes, Mori-san. Come with me, rookie." He said, standing up.
Fyodor followed him after bowing one more time to his new boss.
"Thank you one more time for this opportunity, Mori-sensei. I feel honored."
"The honor is ours, Fyodor-kun. We're lucky to have such an exceptional professional as you. I hope we get along." Mori told him, ignoring Dazai's eyes rolling at Fyodor's back.
Dazai walked Fyodor to an office. He knocked, opening the door and coming inside without waiting for an answer.
"Good mooorniiiig ~ Ku-ni-ki-da-kunnnnn 🎶" he singsonged.
The blonde man with glasses behind the desk sighed with exasperation.
"Is too early to have to deal with you!" He grumbled. "What do you want, bandage wasting?"
"This is Fyodor Dostoevsky, our new surgeon chief." He introduced him.
"Oh." Kunikida left the paper he was working on, standing up to greet him properly. "Welcome to our hospital, Dostoevsky-sensei. I'm Kunikida Doppo, clinic chief." He bowed to him.
"Nice to meet you too. I feel lucky for the opportunity to work with you."
"Please, don't be humble. We are honored to have you here."
Dazai rolled his eyes one more time. If there's something he hates is being in someone else's shadow. He cleared his throat.
"Mori-san wants you to show him the hospital and introduce him to the rest of the staff~" Dazai said and Fyodor flinched because his orders were that he should do that. "Have fun, Kunikida-kun~"
Kunikida pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Then, he went to his desk and roamed inside a drawer.
"This is your badge and your coat." He said, giving him the plastic card with a clasp and the white cloth.
"Thank you very much, Kunikida-sensei." He told him, already putting them on.
"Now, come with me. I'll do that bastard's job and introduce you to the rest of the staff." He said, giving Fyodor the impression that this kind of situation is pretty common.
He leads Fyodor to a big room.
"This is the break room." He says, opening the door. "You can come here to eat, rest, watch tv and even sleep if you want." He pointed at one of the couches.
"Good morning, everyone." He spoke to the personnel that were already gathered inside. "This is our new chief surgeon, Fyodor Dostoevsky. Please, be nice with him. Make him feel at home, and help him to get used to our hospital. Don't forget that he comes from a different culture with different work methods."
There's a wave of welcomes and hellos. Fyodor gaze traced the room, trying to get familiar with their faces.
"These are Hirotsu-sensei, our pediatrics chief and Akutagawa and Higuchi." They bowed at him.
"Two of our nurses, Izumi and Nakajima".
"Please, call me Atsushi." The silver haired man told him with a bow. "Kunikida-sensei is just too formal. And she's Kyouka-chan."
"Over there," Kunikida pointed at a woman lying lazily on the couch, "is Yosano-sensei, she's one of our gynecologists." The woman waves at him from her spot.
Kunikida leads him near the counter, when a red haired person is pouring themselves a cup of coffee. Their hair is arranged in a messy bun, curls sticking everywhere, and hanging loose over their shoulders and neck.
"This is Nakahara-sensei, he works in general clinic."
The man turned around and looked at Fyodor, and he felt as if the world just stopped for him. He's the most beautiful person Fyodor had seen in his entire life. A sea of blue on his eyes, framed by that auburn crown.
He's really short, he barely reaches Fyodor's chest, but the raven feels so small next to him.
"Hi! I'm Chuuya!" He introduced himself with a huge smile. He barely heard it over the staccato of his heart.
And Fyodor is pretty sure that if he looked for the word sunshine in the dictionary, he would find a picture of Chuuya.
Chuuya was munching at a pastry that has left a trace of powdered sugar at the corner of his mouth, and Fyodor has the feeling that all the thoughts have left his brain just to focus on how adorable he looks.
Chuuya seemed to realize, because he rushed to clean it with the back of his hand, to proceed then to clean his fingers with the front of his shirt.
He held his hand for him to stretch it, and is the first person to do so and not bowing at him. The shake is firm and enthusiastic.
"Nice… to meet you…" Fyodor mumbled, totally absorbed by the contemplation of his beauty.
"You're blushing…" Chuuya commented, making him snap from his daydream.
"It's… a bit hot… inside here..." he sputtered.
"Welcome." He said, giving him an adorable lopsided smile as if he had guessed his inner turmoil. "I'll look forward to working with you. Your reputation precedes you, as I've been told." He said, finally swallowing the chunk on his mouth
"Thank you…" Fyodor said, still feeling as if he could start floating at any time.
"I'll show you the locker room." Kunikida said, finally snapping him back to reality.
***
Fyodor was already settled in his office. His secretary, a young boy named Tanizaki, has been very helpful during his first day. On average, all of them were really nice.
He went to the break room to get a cup of coffee, stopping on his tracks at the sound of Chuuya's voice yelling. Fyodor reached the door to find Dazai chasing the redhead all over the place.
"Come on… don't play hard to get, hat rack~ you want to kiss me so bad that is making you look stupid, you know?" Dazai is saying, too close to the shorter man. So close that it looks painfully uncomfortable.
"Get away, asshole! Don't get close to me!" Chuuya yelled, pushing him away. "I don't want to see you!" He screamed, storming out of the room, not registering Fyodor's presence at all. Dazai chased him, with a self satisfied smirk on his face.
"Don't mind them, they're always like that." A nice woman's voice said from behind him.
Fyodor turned around, to find a beautiful red haired woman smiling at him. But there's something about her presence that tells him she's not to be messed with.
" You must be Dostoevsky-sensei." She said to him. "I'm Ozaki Kouyou, I work in social services."
"Nice to meet you."
"How's your first day so far?"
"Really good. Thank you. Everyone has been so nice."
"I'm glad to hear that. Please, come to me if you have any trouble, or if you are slightly suspicious that one of your patients could need my help."
"I'll do it. Thank you."
***
His first day is over, and Fyodor is already leaving for today. He's walking to the exit, when he stumbled with a couple in one of the corridors.
A further inspection revealed them to be Dazai and Chuuya.
"Get away from me, bastard!" Chuuya said, pushing the taller man, with a narrow face. "I don't want to hear your lame excuses!" He said in a warning tone.
"Come oooonnn chibi. You are always so harsh on meeeee…" Dazai replied, pouting, one more time too close to be comfortable.
"Tch! Nobody would consider my attitude towards you as harsh… at least no one that had known you for five minutes!"
"But what if we-" Dazai said, lending to whisper the rest directly to Chuuya's ear.
And what happens next makes Fyodor's stomach churns in disgust, bile crippling to his mouth.
Chuuya blushes and giggles, while Dazai nibbles at his earlobe, and starts peppering kisses all over his neck and cleavage.
And Fyodor knows that he shouldn't feel like this. He doesn't know them. They're strangers, this has nothing to do with him.
Then, why does he feel so miserable? Why is he fighting so hard against this impulse of pushing Dazai away from him and yelling to keep his dirty hands away from Chuuya.
Chuuya smacked Dazai's head playfully, laughing warmly, and then he stroked his brown locks and they looked at each other as if nothing else existed in the world besides the two of them.
Fyodor decided to turn away, and look for another way to the parking lot.
He came home, throwing his things on the entrance and not even looking at the kitchen. He wanted to go directly to bed, but he needed a shower, though there's not much strength remaining on his body.
It was a good day, it wasn't the job what tired him that way. It was the image plastered on his memory: Dazai cornering Chuuya against a wall, both of them giggling happily.
He texted Nikolai to let him know he's home, and immediately could hear the facetime ringtone.
"Hey! How you doing?! How was your first day?!" His cheerful voice resounded in the silence of Fyodor's house.
"Fine. Everyone was nice. It went pretty well."
"Mmmmm…." Nikolai mumbled, already guessing something was off with his best friend. "Buuuut?"
"But… nothing…"
"Don't even try lying to me. What happened?"
"Nothing, really. Not with the work."
"So?"
"One of my coworkers…"
"Was he mean to you?! I'll take a plane and give him something to cry about-"
"No! Not at all!" He rushed to explain. "More the opposite. He was so nice… but… I don't know… I felt weird… after meeting him."
"Weird? How?"
"I don't know…" he shrugged, trying to sound disinterested, "I felt… bubbly? I'm not sure how to explain it."
Nikolai gasped loudly. "You liked him?!"
"Liked…? well he was very beautiful…" he stammered, and Nikolai let out a very loud laugh. "Don't mock me!" Fyodor scolded him.
"I'm not mocking you! I'm happy! You never liked anyone as far as I know."
"It wasn't that. It seems… he's dating another doctor… I found them… snuggling" he had a hard time finding the right word to describe the situation.
"Oh…. They were all lovey-dovey uh?"
"You could say so… but… I felt so wrong after seeing it. Angry."
Nikolai gasped one more time, louder this time.
"Dos-kun is jealous~" he joked.
"No! I'm not!"
"The fuck you're not?! Of course you are! I never thought I'd live to witness the day when I had the honor of seeing Fyodor Mijáilovich Dostoevsky being jealous!"
"Jealousy is a horrible thing. I'm not jealous." He stubbornly insisted, despite the fact that nothing would make him happier than being told about Dazai Osamu's death.
"Jealousy is not wrong. It's an emotion. What you do with it it's what matters."
"What should I do, then, Kolya?"
"Well… being yourself. Be nice to him and pray for him to notice you're better than his boyfriend?"
Fyodor let out a long sigh.
"Welcome to the dark corners of the friendzone, my pal." Nikolai laughed cheerfully.
"I guess I should go to sleep. I'm a bit tired. Do we talk later?"
"Sure. Also I must go back to work. Rest well, Fedya."
"Good night, Kolya." He said cutting the call and settling in bed.