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Gon hadn't always been aware of the full extent of Killuas beauty.
Killua was lovely in every sense of the word, Gon knew. He was sweet and caring and selfless, and made Gon feel livelier when he was around, like he was capable of everything and anything. They clicked. Gon fully believed Killua was his soulmate. To Gon, killua was the most beautiful person in his life. He'd never met anyone so kind, so brave, and so determined to be good.
When Gon finally made the realization that Killua was beautiful to everyone else, too, he was ecstatic, of course. His best friend in the whole world was getting the recognition he deserved - until he realized they thought he was beautiful in a different way.
Namely, his appearance.
The first time it happened was during the day. They were sixteen, walking by a skatepark. Well, Gon was walking - Killua was rolling on his skateboard slowly beside him, wind sweeping through his snowy hair.
The park had only a few people in it at the time, other boys, around their age. One of them had come up to the bar fence beside them, slinging an arm over it. Gon and Killua came to a stop, curious.
"Hey," the dude started out.
"Hey!" Gon replied in his usual friendly way.
The dude then looked over to Killua, dismissing Gon completely. "Why don't you ditch this loser, babe?"
Killua froze. Gon froze. He was confused, of course. For some reason, the guy calling Killua 'babe' and telling him to ditch him, a 'loser,' really put him on edge.
"Excuse me?" Killua said, eyebrow raised.
"Why don't you come hang with us? A pretty girl like you doesn't fit with a guy like him," the boy said, eyeing Gons appearance up and down judgementally.
Gon couldn't even be upset about the insult to his attire, too upset that he would even insinuate that Killua would ditch him for them, and confused on why they would mistake Killua as a girl. He was a boy, was that not obvious?
he looked over at his friend, who was red in the face in embarrassment.
"I'm not a chick," Killua seethed, glaring at the boy. The boy put his hands up placatingly, but Gon could tell he was off-put by his friends sharp eyes.
"Seriously?" The boy responded, this time giving Killuas appearance a slow once-over. For some reason, his gaze made Gon feel gross. "Tch, nevermind, then."
The boy skated back off to his friends. Killua shoved his hands into his pockets, and they made their way back to the hotel silently. Later, Gon caught Killua cutting his hair short again in the bathroom.
As they grew up, similar things would happen. Men would catcall Killua as they passed, calling him 'pretty boy.' Girls would giggle in groups at the mall, then inevitably one would muster up the courage to come over and hand Killua her number. It had him wondering, and forced him to realize that his friend was desirable. Sexually. Killua, with his snowy white hair, striking, catlike blue eyes framed by long, thick lashes, and his porcelain skin. Killua, with his lean, slender body, plush in all the right places.
Everyone saw Killua that way. Gon knew, because those are the only things they ever complimented him on, the only things Gon would catch their eyes staring at. But they never noticed Killuas smile, and how it lit up his whole face, showing off perfect white teeth. They never noticed how many stars his eyes held, how they sparkle in any sort of light, how expressive they are, deep blue like sapphires. They never noticed how gentle his hands are, how kind and careful when Killua thinks they're everything but. They don't notice.
It makes him mad. It makes him so mad they can't see Killua for who he is, can't look deeper than his pretty face. But in some messed up way, it made him happy, that he was the only one who knew Killua in such a way. Those people could look, but they'd never know, never have him like Gon did. They didn't deserve him. They didn't deserve to have Killua hold their hand with his soft ones. They didn't deserve to have his starry eyes turned on them. They didn't deserve to see his wonderful, heartwarming smile.
They were 18 now, and Gon knows he loves Killua. He loves him like no one else does. And it angers him when people mistreat Killua, like they are right now.
"Shit, look at that one," comes a man's voice from the park bench.
Gon turns to look. There are four of them, all middle-aged. Killuas relaxed posture turns tense, and they come to a stop on the sidewalk.
One of them whistles, trying to get Killua to turn and look at them. "Hey, you out looking for some fun?"
Gon tightens his hands into fists, anger quickly building up.
One of them walks over, rounding on Killua, but his friend keeps staring forwards - the man might as well not even be standing in front of him. "How much for a taste?" He asks with a lick of his lips, eyes hungry.
"Gon, let's go," Killua says, side-stepping the man, who then steps back in front of him. Gon almost refuses. He wants to punch them so bad for disrespecting him in such a way, but Killua wants to leave.
"Oh, dont be like that, baby," another one says, coming up beside the other one in front of a Killua. The other two stand behind Gon, boxing them in on the sidewalk.
"Move out of the way," Gon demands, just one more refusal away from losing it.
"We can show you a good time. Ever handle four at once?" One of them says. The first guy moves closer to Killua, expression slimy, and reaches down.
"I'll bet you have. A fine ass like yours has to be experienc-"
He doesnt even get to finish his sentence before Killua clocks him in the face. Blood goes flying out of his mouth as his body contorts and falls to the ground. Gon thinks he sees something small and white bounce across the ground.
In that moment, Gon has never been prouder.
With the go ahead from Killua, he pivots on his foot, spinning around to deal with the two behind him. In no time at all they're beaten on the ground, and Gon had never felt so satisfied beating someone to a pulp before.
When he turns back around, the other two are on the ground, groaning in pain. The one who groped Killua is clutching his quickly purpling wrist, and the other is on his back, arms wrapped around his stomach and caughing. Killua is shaking out his hand, but Gon can see the trembling of his shoulders.
Quickly, he stands beside Killua, taking his hand in his slowly.
"No one's ever-" The boy starts, then stops, as if the words simply refuse to come out.
"I know," Gon says, just to save him the trouble of saying it, "I know. Let's go, okay?"
Killua nods, sapphire eyes downcast as he allows Gon to lead him back to their hotel room.
As soon as they're inside, Gon pulls Killua into a protective hug. Tentatively, Killuas arms come up around his waist.
"Why are you hugging me?" Killua questions.
"Because you deserve it."
Gon threads his fingers through Killuas soft hair, his other hand rubbing between his shoulder blades. Even though Killua is taller, he feels so small against him.
"Why does everybody just - just see me as some toy to fuck?" Killua finally says. Gon winces, but Killua continues, word vomit spilling out of him as he releases his pent up anger and insecurities.
"Why do people treat me like a thing? Why do they think if they say enough pretty words I'll join them in bed? Is that really what everyone thinks of me?" Gon can feel wetness against his shirt now, clinging to his skin, "i-is it the way I look? Do I look like - like a whore? Like I'd - I'd give myself away to anyone who paid or asked enough...?"
Gon can feel his heart break as Killuas voice looses strength. The boy is shaking in his arms now, clutching at the back of his shirt so tightly he can hear threads snap.
Gon moves his hands to Killuas shoulders, pushing him back. He cups his face, looking him in the eyes as he wipes his tears with his thumbs.
"They're all wrong, okay?" Gon says, determined to get Killua to see himself the way Gon sees him. It burns like a fire in his veins, needing this beautiful boy to know he's so much more.
"You're so beautiful, Killua. You're wonderful and lovely, inside and out, and I feel so bad for them that they can't see that," Gon stresses, begging Killua with his eyes to listen, to understand. His voice is the most desperate and raw he's ever heard it, and he only hopes Killua hears it too and believes him. "You're the kindest person I've ever met, who gives your all in everything you do. There's nothing wrong with you in the slightest - everyone who thinks that way about you are just sleazebags who aren't lucky or deserving enough to spend more than a second in your company."
Gon can feel his own eyes watering, emotions overflowing as Killua stares at him in shock. He's doing everything he can to hold back his real feelings, the ones that run so much deeper, but they need to be said, because Killua deserves to know that someone truly loves him. His words are like a floodgate, unstoppable and flowing without restraint.
"Gon-"
"Killua, there are so many people who love you. Melody, Canary, Wing, Zushi, Ikalgo, Bisky, Leorio, Kurapika, Alluka," he wavers, holding on to the last person for as long as he can before it slips from his tongue, "me. I love you so much Killua, you don't understand. I adore every part of you so much I can't ever seem to get enough. No matter how far into the future I imagine, it's always me and you, side by side. In no universe would I accept living without you. You mean so much to me. You mean everything to me."
He breathes heavy, confession finally lifted off his chest. He had always been okay with keeping it a secret - as long as Killua was with him he was perfectly fine and happy. But it had lifted an unexpected weight off his shoulders and in settled a new one as he waited for Killuas response.
Killua, who was still in shock. His tears had stopped falling, but his eyes were still wattery and crusty around the edges. Tear stained cheeks, red eyes, snotty nose, and he was still the most breathtaking sight Gons eyes had ever seen.
"You mean-" Killua started, voice weak and raspy, with a tinge of hopefullness.
"I mean I love you Killua. Not in a friend way. Well, yes I love you in a friend way, you're my best friend of course, I'd even go as far as to say you're my soulmate but what I'm going for here isn't quite-"
A laugh cuts off his panicked rambling and Gons mouth snaps shut like a bear trap. Killua's wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie, chuckling lightly to himself. He seems happier now, which means Gons happy.
"Gon, I get it," The Love Of His Life finally says. Even if his feelings aren't reciprocated, Gon is satisfied knowing that Killua knows there's someone in this world who truly loves him.
Gon takes Killuas hands in his, lacing their fingers together and swinging them around joyfully, a big grin pulling at his lips.
"..I love you too. In that way."
Gon blinks, pausing, replaying what he'd just heard in his mind. Immediately, hope rises in his chest.
"Really?" He asks. Killua nods shyly, and now Gon has a sneaking suspicion half the pink coating his cheeks isn't from crying.
Happiness fills his entire being. Flowers bloom in his chest and it feels like there's too much happiness to hold inside his body, bouncing on his feet as he pulls Killua closer.
He looks slightly upwards into sapphire blue eyes, "can I kiss you, then?"
He gets a nod paired with a breathless little 'yeah' in return, and then he needs no more.
He surges up and kisses Killua, hands coming to rest on his waist. It takes Killua a hot second to reciprocate, but when he does no fireworks go off. The world doesn't explode into color and his brain doesn't feel like it's full of butterflies. Slim, pale hands come to rest around his neck, plush lips press back, and everything just feels right.