Work Text:
Albedo eyed Sucrose carefully from the landing above. She was pouring over a textbook recently imported from Sumeru at the bottom floor of the library. He could tell that her eyebrows were scrunching up in thought when she put her fingers to her chin. It was a habit that made her head ache often, but something he found unreasonably charming and thus merited further observation with a sketch.
As he watched her cross reference her notes with the book, a comforting warmth settled into his stomach that both soothed and startled him. The idyllic task of studying was something they had done every day for more than a decade, but more recently, he started to find himself feeling more content within her presence and even wanting to ask about what she was reading, something he rarely initiated with anyone and something Sucrose already willingly shared with him.
She let out a little huff of disappointment that pulled him out of his thoughts. What did she discover this time? He wondered to himself, leaning forward to rest his arms on the banister. The Kriederprinz quickly shook the question out of his mind, surprised that he wanted to walk back down and take a look at the textbook with her. He should be focusing on his research, not on Sucrose. He had always kept her at arm’s length and only took interest in instructing her when she was his assistant years ago. Now that she was an alchemist of the knights herself, what changed? Why was she pulling his interest now after all these years?
Albedo turned towards the shelf next to him and pulled out a large medical textbook. He ran a hand over the cover hoping it would give him a clue as to what was going on with him as he began his descent back to Sucrose. He had already perused all of the books within the library, but maybe rereading some of the medical texts could inspire a reason for what he had been feeling.
As he neared the table, Sucrose glanced up to flash him a simple smile. His face was as passive as ever, but his organs started to do something of their own. It was a manner of hers that had morphed from enthusiastic waving every time she saw him to a lovely smile that made his stomach feel as if thousands of butterflies were beating around inside him. Although that’s not to say that she had stopped her enthusiastic greetings. He was glad that she turned back to her reading as he sat down. It saved him the embarrassment of having to explain his predicament towards her if she asked what he was researching.
For months now, Albedo would feel a rush of delight when she came up the mountains to check on her experiments or to bring up supplies. The feeling felt more overwhelming when she brought up her candies to share with him. The sweetness of the little pieces making him salivate as he watched her suck on one. His skin would warm and tingle when he got too close to her as he grabbed an ingredient. Seeing her blush and trying not to notice his sudden closeness made him want to mash his face against hers, a feeling he couldn’t describe well or explain but made his ears feel like they were on fire.
When he got the chance to share a successful trial with her, his stomach would flutter wildly from the happiness on her face. An expression that made him smile with joy but also flush in embarrassment when he noticed Timaeus staring at him, surprised that his mentor could smile at someone other than Klee and the traveler. The Kriederprinz would also feel a keen interest when she shared everyday things with him such as a new sweet flower strand she was somehow able to still propagate after years of studying them, a hybrid species she made with said sweet flowers, or her musings of any obstacles she was figuring out.
It brought him great pleasure that she was comfortable sharing more of her thoughts with him without apologizing afterwards; In contrast to their earlier years together, where she apologized for sharing anything. Her intelligence and curiosity for the world was shining brightly now that she was more confident in herself. It made him feel proud to be part of her life. The unexplainable joy Sucrose brought in him could be a result of seeing her successes, but surely that feeling shouldn’t result in constant stirrings in his stomach and chest. It shouldn’t result in the desire to get closer to her to mediate those confusing symptoms.
Albedo carefully reviewed each chapter summary to get an idea of what could be wrong with him. Maybe he was sick or needed more sleep. He did over eat his fill the other night during dinner with Klee and Mona. The trio had then ran into Sucrose afterwards just as she was done collecting something from the butcher’s shop and was enthusiastically invited to join their evening walk by Klee. As she walked along with them, or as Klee more or less dragged her along, he wanted to hold her other hand. Maybe that could help her feel less nervous and uncomfortable around Mona as he knew she was feeling. Or maybe it would stop his heart from flopping around with excitement after not seeing her for a few weeks. The heartache had definitely been caused by eating too much.
And it was late that night after all when he returned to his camp after days of trekking the mountains. He was expecting to come back to the cold and empty lab as usual when she ran up to greet him with a glowing smile and cup of goulash in her hands. The cold never bothered him but Albedo had the strongest urge to take off his gloves and rub his frozen hands against her warm, ruddy cheeks. To press his ice-cold nose with hers and feel her warm lips with his to see if it would thaw them out. It had definitely been his exhaustion making him feel that way.
Those were the only valid conclusions he could muster. He glanced up at the various other medical books before him. I should get some rest. That should solve my predicament. He turned towards Sucrose when he heard her hide a large yawn behind her hand. Her eyes had a deep purple beneath them making him clench his jaw in irritation. How long has it been since she’d slept? Did she even have dinner? He looked up at the dark window above them, the moon and stars twinkled brightly. Dinner time had long passed and Sucrose had most likely been up for days like him.
Somehow, his relationship with Sucrose was going beyond the levels he was comfortable with. I must get back to Dragonspine, regardless of rest. He suddenly decided. The thought of leaving his sweet alchemist suddenly made his chest ache. My sweet alchemist? When was Sucrose ever mine? He slammed the textbook closed in irritation, startling the poor alchemist across from him. His feelings were becoming too overwhelming and taking up more time than he liked to figure them out. Albedo’s current emotions were a result of exhaustion. That was all. He needed to recharge back at his camp and distance himself from her before he became more ill.
He gave her one last look. The sweet alchemist in mind was nervously playing with the corner of a page, surprised that he had slammed the book closed and curious to what caused the rare outburst. Seeing her fidget made him feel guilty.
“My apologies, Sucrose. I’ve...run into a difficult situation. But I am heading back to Dragonspine to resolve it.” He stood up and began to gather his belongings.
“Oh, do you need any assistance?” She responded excitedly, standing up. Her eyes lit up at the thought of being able to help him. Those amber eyes made those butterflies in his stomach flutter around again. He forced them down by looking away from her.
“Ah, no need Sucrose.” He quickly turned around and headed for the stairs, his sketchbook clenched tightly in hand.
“Oh.” she nodded in agreement. She sat down in disappointment and earnestly watched him quickly make his way up the stairs. Oddly, her heart stung at his cold and sudden brush off. It had been awhile since they had worked on something together and she missed being with him in the lab. Leaving her position as his assistant to be his equal, she seemed to almost rarely see her beloved alchemist anymore. The loneliness that she hadn’t noticed since she was a kid seemed to be making itself present to her once again. She even missed seeing Timaeus.
The way Albedo brushed her off just now, maybe it really was just an experiment he could resolve quickly, or maybe he didn’t see her help as valuable anymore, or maybe he was being considerate of her time like the gentleman he is. Her thoughts bounced back and forth as she slumped into her chair. Whatever the reason, Sucrose couldn’t understand why she was starting to miss him so much and feel so wistful that he was leaving. The very dilemma Albedo was facing as well. It would simply be another truth of the world for them to uncover.