Work Text:
Naruto sat there feeling a little stood up. The bar he was in was loud and the beer wasn’t even that good. The appeal was mostly its location – it sat smack dab in the hub of Washington D.C. where all the important people or party animals went to make connections or get up to mischief – and the interior layout design, which was decked with modern light fixtures, sleek flooring, and stylishly comfortable seating.
Checking the digital clock hanging on the wall above the counter, Naruto sighed. It’d been thirty minutes.
See? This is why he didn’t go on blind dates set up by friends.
Releasing yet another dramatic sigh, Naruto tried to chug the last of his beer, but honestly it was too gross to manage. Why did he even get beer in the first place? Oh kami, this whole night was just one bad omen.
It was then that the bartender placed a shiny glass in front of him. When he looked up, the bartender only shrugged and motioned to his right where a tall man with fair skin, long dark hair, and pitch-black eyes approached. Naruto blinked wildly at the looming stranger as the man sat in the seat next to his.
Naruto gulped, uncertainly.
This guy was beautiful. Beyond beautiful depending on who you asked. Naruto’s weak, inexperienced, bisexual heart just couldn’t take it. In an attempt to start a conversation maybe or ask why he bought him this fancy drink, Naruto opened his mouth. But alas, no words came out.
The man released a small breath, his stare boring into the younger blonde boy as he finally spoke, “You obviously don’t like beer.” When Naruto didn’t reply right away, he continued, “It’s a cocktail, fruity. It’s more your taste.”
“H-How do you know my-”
“I could see it in the look on your face.”
Naruto wrinkled his nose at the man’s response. How the hell was his drink preference written on his face? Scoffing, Naruto shrugged. “Yeah, okay. Sure.”
Since the man had gone out of his way, he decided to give it a taste. Surprisingly, it was really good. Tamarind … huh. Not bad. Eyeing the stranger a bit as he took a second sip, Naruto noticed his suit. It wasn’t all too flashy, but definitely professional as though he were going somewhere for work instead of leaving it.
When the man had answered him earlier, it didn’t sound as though he were bullshitting him. But seriously. “There’s literally no way you could’ve known I liked fruity margaritas over freakin’ bud light, just because of one look.”
The stranger continued to stare, but eventually the right side of his lip raised ever so slightly. “At least you’re not stupid.”
Immediately, Naruto felt his hackles rise.
“You’re right. One look at your expression wasn’t enough to figure out your preferred drink. It was, however, enough to tell me that you didn’t like that particular brand of beer. The rest of my deduction was all assumptions based on the fact that you asked for the first thing you saw upon arrival and not six minutes later began to gaze longingly at the margaritas ordered by a young woman and her friends who were sitting a few tables away from the counter. Either way, all I had to do was observe you for a little less than ten minutes and I was able to find your tells. Don’t be alarmed, it’s what I do for a living. If I couldn’t figure out this much, I wouldn’t be able to do my job properly.”
Naruto blinked owlishly at the sudden onslaught of words. The man sitting beside him spoke with a slick and fast paced tongue. He was sure of himself, or at the very least pretended to be. His eyes, still staring straight into his own, gave nothing away.
It was exhilarating.
Impressive.
Naruto was only slightly jealous.
But then, that was when the stranger’s words actually hit, and a sudden realization dawned on him. Naruto’s lips twisted into a frown. “Was this a test? Are you … you’re my blind date tonight, aren’t you?” he fumed. “This is what you call a date?!”
“It’s not.”
“It’s not a test or it’s not a date?”
“It’s not a date.”
Naruto’s forehead scrunched together in confusion. “But I thought …” He glanced down at his new drink, before staring back at the stranger. “So, this isn’t a date?”
“No. It’s a job interview.”
“… Excuse me???”
The stranger continued. “If this was a date I wouldn’t have taken you to a bar and I definitely wouldn’t have come so late. In fact, I’d schedule it earlier and we’d meet up in town before going to an early dinner at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant that I would have booked weeks in advance for. Then we’d head to the park, maybe go to a museum. Eventually we’d get hungry again so we could either get ice cream or baked goods at a café where we’d talk more about our lives to the point that I would be able to tell by the end of the night whether or not I wish to continue pursuing you. So, no. This is not a date. This is for a job. Do you want the job?”
“I- what job?” Naruto stuttered, trying his darndest to keep up. Also, that actually sounds like a pretty nice date.
“Don’t be slow, you applied for this job three weeks ago, but we’ve only now approached you because we are very busy people and it wasn’t the best time until recently to incorporate someone new. So yes or no, do you want this job?”
Naruto quickly shook his head, still trying to make sense of it all. “How do I know this isn’t one big scam? Why don’t you do the proper thing and introduce yourself, stranger?”
“Uchiha Itachi. Of Akatsuki.” That had Naruto choking on his next and final sip. “Do you want the job or not?”
Yes. A hundred percent, yes. Naruto definitely wanted this job.
Akatsuki was an elite group of lawyers known throughout the district as the people you go to whenever there was trouble. They took care of you. They made your problems better. They were trusted and relied upon and cool (oh so cool). Naruto only recently passed the bar exam just barely on pure stubbornness alone. It was practically a miracle that he was being considered for a position, right now.
Was he dreaming? Did he pass out after only one bottle of gross ass beer? How pathetic …
(If he pinched himself right now would that make him less eligible for the job?)
“The clock is ticking Naruto, and I have work to get to-”
“YES!” he quickly blurted out, unprofessionally interrupting the man as vehemently as possible. Because really, to be chosen to work for Akatsuki was, everything. “Yes, I want the job. I’ll do anything, just say the word, dattebayo. In fact, I’m perfectly fine with starting this interview over-”
“Come with me,” Itachi demanded, lifting from the bar stool with ease and making his way to the front door.
Naruto rushed to grab his jacket as he followed after him. “S-Sure. Are we going to do the interview somewhere else? Because I know a great-”
“I lied. There’s no interview. You were already hired.”
If he hadn’t caught himself on the door handle, Naruto would have collapsed in shock.
When Naruto stepped foot into the black chevy sedan, a large man with pale skin and short cropped midnight blue hair was sitting in the front seat. Once Naruto was properly positioned in the back, and Itachi in the front on the passenger side, the man twisted back to look at him. Sharp teeth accompanied his maniacal grin as two round eyes bored into the blonde.
“Fresh meat, Itachi?” the man hummed.
“The boss did say he was hired,” was Itachi’s bland response.
Not particularly a fan of being talked about as though he wasn’t there, Naruto cleared his throat. “Uzumaki Naruto at your service, dattebayo!”
“Uzumaki, huh?” the man repeated. “Hoshigaki Kisame. Nice to meet ya, kid.”
The introduction had been so pleasant that the evident surprise must’ve completely taken over his face. Kisame cackled at him before turning back to the front and off handedly saying, “Oh yeah. Itachi, our angel needs us to pick her up for the you-know-what. It’s happening tonight.”
And for all his cool and smooth qualities, Itachi was apparently also able to become hysterical. Naruto watched in complete intrigue as the man’s expression went from calm to super alert in a flash. His shoulders stiffened and he slapped at his companion’s shoulder. “Step on it. Now.”
For some reason, Naruto had the feeling that the steely order was Itachi’s equivalent of a screaming demand. Without putting up a fuss, Kisame chuckled and proceeded to drive them out of there.
Not really understanding what was going on, Naruto waited at first to see if either of the men in front of him planned on explaining. When practically five minutes passed and nothing was said, the blonde cleared his throat.
“Ahem!” No one looked back at him, but Naruto continued anyway. “What exactly are we doing right now? Apparently, I’ve got the job but I’m not sure what my role is. Also, who is this ‘angel’ and what’s happening tonight?”
A moment passed where the two older men looked at each other, Kisame pleased and Itachi exasperated.
Unfortunately, before either of them said anything, Kisame came to a complete stop. In the middle of the street.
… Naruto had no idea that this was the day he died.
The younger man opened his mouth to scream at Kisame in alarm, but suddenly the door behind Itachi’s seat flew open and in slid an older woman. Naruto blinked at her elegant, beautiful, enrapturing, eye-drawing appearance. He wasn’t a poet, far from it really, but he had a feeling that if he was, he’d be able to write sonnets about this lady.
“Kisame,” she spoke, her voice silky smooth but demanding.
“On it,” the driver replied, suddenly taking off.
“Itachi,” the woman then said, dangling a fancy briefcase between the two front seats for Itachi to grab.
The other man said nothing as he took it off her hands.
“Why is the new hire just sitting here?” the woman asked without even glancing up from her phone (since when did she even pull that thing out?!)
“We didn’t have time to drop him off,” Kisame answered dutifully.
“Why not?”
“I took my time. I apologize.” This time Itachi responded, his head dipping a little.
The woman huffed silently. “This isn’t the most appropriate first assignment for him.”
“He won’t have to do anything. Probably. It’ll be fine.” Naruto could already picture the amused smile on the other man’s face.
“If he dies?” Itachi questioned softly, causing Naruto’s entire body to go rigid.
“He won’t,” the woman fervently said. It wasn’t meant to console him. No, Naruto could tell just by her tone that she was just that confident.
(Not confident in Naruto, but definitely confident in herself)
Despite how sure the woman was, however, it wasn’t enough to put the blonde at ease. No, whatever this situation he’d suddenly landed himself into was not okay. “Could someone please tell me what’s going on, dattebayo?! Why is death a possibility now? I thought Akatsuki was a law firm!” His eyes widened, then. “Please don’t tell me I accidently walked myself into a scam!”
Neither of the men up front deigned to give him a response. Instead, the woman beside him finally looked up, tilting her head only slightly to meet his gaze. “This isn’t a scam. We may be lawyers, but this isn’t a law firm. What we do is we fix things. Right now, we are in the process of fixing something. It’s unfortunate that you were hired during such a big case but we’re usually super busy anyway, so this was bound to happen. You might die because we’re meeting dangerous people. You won’t die because I’ll be with you. My name is Konan. Welcome to Akatsuki.”
Eventually, Kisame parked the car in front of a very ominous looking building, a warehouse of sorts. Naruto had spent the majority of the car ride flipping the hell out, unsure what kind of crazy shit these (very hot) weirdos were getting him into. If he had still been back in high school, he would have shouted and groaned and complained until he finally got the answers he so desperately craved. But that kind of behavior was unacceptable in the adult world (and plus he really, really wanted this job … whatever it was). So, to attempt social acceptability, Naruto sat as stiff as a board throughout the entire car ride, refusing to speak unless spoken to.
No one else had said a word either, not even once the car was parked. Instead, the three Akatsuki members slinked quietly out of the vehicle, completely focused on their task with Naruto scrambling after them.
Kisame and Itachi entered the white brick building first, opening the pair of double doors to let Konan through. They in fact, did not keep them open for Naruto. Assholes.
The warehouse was empty and dark, spare for a few miscellaneous shadows being cast by the stunningly bright moonlight that shone through the aging windows. A woman on a mission, Konan walked with a purpose towards an old-fashioned elevator. Once she’d pushed the button, the loud screeching of metal reached their ears and Naruto grimaced at the caged elevator’s grating descent.
With another excruciating screech, the elevator doors parted and the Akatsuki members quickly walked in. Naruto, however, hesitated in doing so. He still didn’t really get what was going on and this whole situation right now was super sketchy.
Also, what if he actually did end up dying tonight? He never created a will. What would he tell his friends, his family? What if-
“Get in or we’re leaving you,” Konan suddenly spoke. He blinked back at her, realizing she was now looking at him, unimpressed.
Shit. He couldn’t have that. For all he knew they could rescind his employment status just for being a scaredy cat (which he wasn’t!).
With a heavy heart, Naruto followed them into the elevator and the doors closed behind him.
“Good evening gentlemen.” Konan announced their arrival on the fifth floor with a quick, sweeping look of the area and a confident sway in her hips. Naruto was very impressed, especially considering the number of guns in the room at the moment.
Four men stood before them, equally as suited up as the Akatsuki but with a more rugged and let’s say organized crime-ish flare. One look at their mean faces and overly dramatic trench coats was all it took for Naruto to figure out that these men were mafia. He didn’t know which one they were exactly, but still definitely mafia.
Ah. So, he was definitely going to die today. Good to know.
“Do you have the money?” the man closest to them asked. Another man stood by his left, a hint of a growl on his face, while the other two stood back by a small table whose only occupant was a large cardboard box.
Was that for them, perhaps?
Konan nodded at the leader and motioned for Itachi to hand over the briefcase. The grunt on the leader’s left took hold of it and checked its contents. With a tilt of his head, the leader motioned for his goon to show him the goods. Doing as he was ordered the goon displayed the open briefcase to his boss.
“This is less than what was agreed,” the boss growled, turning a glare onto the Akatsuki.
Naruto immediately tensed as the two other grunts stepped closer, fingers repositioning themselves on their guns for easier access. Shit, shit, shit, shit-
“That’s all 3 million,” Konan responded without a single hint of fear.
“We said 6 million.”
“You get 3 million,” she stated firmly.
The leader shook his head. “That’s going to be a problem. We were promised-”
“3 million is all the ambassador can acquire on such a short notice.” Naruto gulped at Konan’s quick interruption. The beating of his heart quickened when he caught sight of the three other goons around him raising their weapons.
“We had a deal,” the leader warned, voice dangerously low.
“Deal’s done, Oskar.” Konan took a few steps closer, ignoring the buffer of space that was deemed appropriate for their negotiation. Oskar, somewhat surprised, took a single step back before righting his posture and meeting the beautiful woman’s gaze. “What’s going to happen next is that you and your punks are going to take what we’ve given you and leave right now in order to make your flight back home.”
“You’re going to want to hurry, too,” she continued, “because in exactly four hours and fifteen minutes you and your men’s names are going to miraculously pop up on homeland security’s no-fly list, making it impossible for you to get back to Ukraine and ultimately leaving you stranded here in time for the FBI to make their arrests. So. I suggest you be on your way to the airport before you miss your flight.”
Once her spiel had ended, Naruto watched in awe as Oskar’s face turned pale and his brows pinched together in anger. He didn’t make anymore moves either, beyond motioning for his men to lower their guns.
Seeing this, Konan nodded. “Pleasure doing business with you, gentlemen,” she murmured, tone obviously pleased.
That was Kisame’s cue apparently, as the taller man was suddenly making a trek over to the sole table in the room and picking up the box. Once it was secured, Konan and Itachi turned back towards the elevator, Kisame following close behind them.
Naruto stood in place for about three more terribly confusing seconds, before immediately taking off after his new co-workers. There was no way he was going to be left behind with (apparently) Ukrainian mobsters, even if he still had no idea what was going on.
Basically, what he was getting was that there was an exchange of money and … whatever, between the Akatsuki and a foreign mafia. The payment hadn’t been the agreed upon amount but somehow their not-a-law-firm had enough connections to get these crazy men on the no-fly list and walk away from a tricky situation unscathed. Seriously, just who the hell were these people he was just hired to work with?
And how the hell did his night go from drinking away his annoyances at a trendy club in DC to being a part of a secret (probably illegal) altercation with a Ukrainian crime boss?!?!?! Honestly this whole night was giving Naruto whiplash and he definitely needed an aspirin, like, yesterday.
(… But he had to admit that the whole thing had been pretty fucking cool.)
Back in the car, the cardboard box was passed to Naruto, who took it unwillingly. When he glanced down, however, to get a peek at its contents, he immediately gasped.
“A BABY?!?!” he screeched, disrupting the tense silence of the car.
Said baby continued to stare obliviously up at Naruto with a bright gurgle, probably finding his distress amusing.
Suddenly, everything made sense. This whole time he had been trying to figure out why a bunch of lawyers were making shady money deals with organized crime weirdos, but in actuality, “You guys just settled some kind of hostage situation?!”
“We,” Itachi muttered from the passenger’s seat. Naruto looked up at him in confusion. As if he could see the expression on the blonde’s face, Itachi continued, “We just settled a hostage situation.”
“That’s right, kid,” Kisame grinned back at him through the rearview mirror. “You’re part of Akatsuki now, too.”
“He still shouldn’t have been exposed to such a high-risk job so early on,” Konan griped softly, her eyes glued to the passing scenery outside her window.
“Aw, come on, Konan. New kid wouldn’t have died anyway. You said it yourself.”
Konan’s dangerous gaze flickered over to her co-worker in the driver’s seat. “That wasn’t what I meant. He doesn’t know how we do things yet. If he accidentally did or said anything that he wasn’t supposed to, he could have jeopardized the entire mission.”
Naruto pouted. Wow, thanks for the confidence, nee-san.
“But he didn’t,” Itachi told her, causing Naruto to instantly perk up. Was that Itachi guy defending him? Oooh, nice.
“I suppose you’re right,” Konan reluctantly muttered, before turning her gaze on Naruto. “Good job not messing up on your first night.”
It’s not like I did anything, though, the blonde thought somewhat ruefully. He slumped in his seat, glancing back down at the baby still cooing up at him from its bundle of blankets.
“Sometimes …”
Naruto quickly looked up to find Konan’s gaze intensely trained on him, mouth pulled in a thin line as she seemed to examine him.
“Sometimes,” she repeated, “it’s not about what you did but rather what you didn’t. Not many people can simply watch and listen when it’s necessary.”
After that, he spent the rest of the car ride contemplating her words.
Naruto was eventually escorted into an office building (luckily much less scary than the warehouse from earlier), and once again found himself standing in an elevator. As it ascended, Itachi gave Naruto a look of foreboding.
“You’re going to meet the rest of Akatsuki now. Good luck.”
Kisame chuckled beside him while Konan continued to not say a word. The elevator suddenly felt too warm and if Naruto didn’t have this damn box in his hands, he’d definitely be pulling at his collared shirt in an attempt to get some air. His hands grew sweaty, and his legs felt almost detached from his body. Embarrassingly enough, the ding of the elevator that announced their arrival had him jolting violently.
Just like earlier, he let the others go ahead of him, trailing behind them with uncertainty in each step. Looking around, the ceiling was surprisingly high with lights dangling down by strings of plastic. To the right of the front hallway was a den of electronics and other technology laid out on three different tables and an accompanying couch.
Konan led them into one of the rooms with glass windows incasing it. Suddenly he was bombarded by a whisp of cool air as though the ac was on full blast. More importantly though, were the people occupying this new room.
“Hey! You guys did it, hn!” a man with long blonde hair tied back in a loose ponytail, high waisted jeans and a sleeveless shirt approached with a large grin. His eyes zeroed in on the box in Naruto’s hands but beyond that paid the new hire no mind.
“Don’t sound so surprised, little man,” Kisame huffed, playfully bonking him on the head with a fist.
“I’m not that little damn you. I-”
“Deidara,” Konan interrupted with a disapproving stare.
The blonde deflated. “Ugh. Yeah, yeah.”
“And you all?” Itachi questioned, taking a seat in one of the chairs surrounding the conference room table. He sat near a tall fellow with dark brown, scraggly hair and hazel eyes. Whoever he was, he hadn’t deigned to even look up from his notebook upon their arrival. “Was your assignment a success?”
“Of course, it was,” a silver haired man spoke up from his seat in the corner of the room. He wore a white collared shirt and slacks, but the materials were crinkled and rumpled as though he’d been running a marathon in his work clothes (or possibly getting into scuffles at a bar). His tie was in disarray as well, dangling just barely in its knot around his neck.
Are these guys really professionals? Naruto internally judged, not at all impressed by their presentation. But then again, the unprofessionalism was kind of comforting.
“It was just a simple business closure,” the silver haired man continued. “Nowhere near as fun as your mafia case. Jeez I’m so fucking jealous. I wanted to work on that one!”
“You weren’t allowed to because we couldn’t have you starting a fight,” Konan muttered in disdain, but the man waved her off.
“Hey, don’t act like I wasn’t hired for that exact reason. What is it that the boss calls us? Gladiators in suits? I was just living up to the job description,” the man cackled wildly only to be shushed by the redhead sitting closest to the door.
“Enough of your gloating, Hidan. We get it, you’re an uncivilized heathen. Now don’t we have a new co-worker that needs to be introduced to us?”
Konan nodded. “Yes, thank you Sasori. Everyone, this is Uzumaki Naruto.”
Naruto felt the full force of everyone’s gaze on him. Even the tall man who was busy immersed in his notebook, eventually looked up to observe him. Gripping tightly to the box in his hands, Naruto gulped. “Uh. Nice to meet everyone, dattebayo.”
Most of his new co-workers continued to stare up at him, unimpressed.
After a moment of more silence, Naruto huffed and trekked forward, gently placing the box on the table. “So, uh, any of you guys know how to change diapers? Or, you know, basic childcare?”
He knew the answer before he even opened his mouth, but anything was better than the quiet sound of judgement.
Fortunately, the adjacent room’s door suddenly opened, and another redhead stepped in. His gaze surveyed the area before finally landing on the only woman in the room. “Konan, you’re back,” he murmured, relief lightly dripping from his tone.
Naruto watched in slight awe as the woman gave him a small smile. “Nagato,” she called for him softly. “I told you we’d make it back intact.”
Nagato scowled. “I would have killed him, otherwise.”
“Ah! I see the package was secured,” came a new voice as another man slid in behind the red head. The dark-haired newcomer’s eyes zeroed in on the box before trailing up to meet Konan’s venomous gaze.
He ignored Nagato’s own look of annoyance and stepped around him to reach the woman who also appeared to be on her last nerve with him. “And the angel has returned. I told you it would turn out alright.”
When the man dragged a hand over her shoulder, she shook him off with a huff. “My job would have gone a lot smoother if I had known we were 3 million short.”
“I told you,” the man argued.
“Only as you handed me the briefcase and shooed me out the door,” she shot back.
“My contact in the FBI was going to back you up.”
“Your contact in the FBI cussed me out over text on the car ride over because of your bullshit last-minute request. If I don’t get a pay raise from this, I’m going to walk away and offer my services up to the White House.”
An alarmed look passed over the man’s face then, but he quickly schooled it into a frown. “Fine. 5 percent salary increase.”
“10.”
“Deal.”
“And I get the deciding vote for our next potential case.”
“Fine.”
“Good.”
“Do you want my left kidney too?”
“Too much work. Maybe next time.”
“If you two are done with your terrible flirting,” Sasori cut in with a roll of his eyes, “could we please focus on the matter at hand?”
Konan and the mysterious man both shot the red head equal looks of annoyance, before finally stepping away from each other. The man approached the box and peered down at the child within it. With steady hands, he reached in and picked it up.
“Any of you guys know how to change a diaper?” he unknowingly repeated Naruto’s words from earlier, and as if sensing the young man’s surprise, turned to Naruto with a critical eye. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the ding of the elevator.
An entourage of men and one woman entered the floor, hastening their steps upon catching sight of the child in the mysterious man’s hands.
“Artem!!!” the woman cried out, breaking from the group to scoop the baby up in her arms. The mysterious man handed him over without a fight and plastered on a smile.
“I’m so glad that we were able to return your child safely to you,” he told her, looking up as one of the approaching men patted him happily on the shoulder.
“Thank you so very much,” the child’s father said, eyes wet with unshed tears of joy.
“Please, it was all a part of the job. And quite honestly it was these three who did most of the work.” He motioned over to Konan, Kisame, and Itachi.
The father nodded and bowed in their direction. “Thank you, thank you. When we found out he’d been kidnapped we-”
“It’s all over now, Ambassador” the mysterious man assured him cheerfully. “Just make sure you and your wife get to the airport on time and have a safe trip home.”
“Of course,” the ambassador agreed, slipping him a white envelope before taking his wife by the shoulder and ushering her off with the rest of their entourage.
The other members of Akatsuki watched them until the elevator doors were officially closed. Then, the mysterious man turned to them, fake smile now gone, and waved the envelope in the air. “Our payment,” he announced, tearing it open to reveal a check.
The more expressive of the room’s occupants cheered while the more silent types looked on in delight, specifically the tall one with the notebook whose eyes were suddenly gleaming.
“Good work team, why don’t you all get some rest for the night,” the mysterious man then said.
More hooting and hollering from Deidara and Hidan followed before finally everyone began packing up their belongings. Naruto’s mouth gaped as the mysterious man, supposedly the boss, began to turn around and walk out.
“H-Hey wait a minute!” he quickly shouted, stopping everyone in their tracks. “Can someone please actually give me the low down here? All night you guys have been yanking me around and not telling me anything, dattebayo!”
It took a moment but, sluggishly, the boss turned back around to face him. “Naruto, right? Look, it’s true that you’ve been hired but it wasn’t entirely my decision to do so.” Immediately, Naruto’s stomach dropped. “Truth is, for now, we just need you to do grunt work for us. If that’s not really your thing, you’re always welcome to quit and find employment elsewhere. I can even offer you some recommendations with work that’s more fitting for you. The choice is yours.” His words dripped with condescension as he spoke, uncaring of his own rudeness and insensitivity.
The AC continued to blast overhead, cutting through the following silence like a bulldozer. Naruto scowled at the man standing before him and clenched his fists. For a split second, his brain completely forgot about work appropriate behavior.
In an instant Naruto was standing directly in front of the man, anger rolling off him in waves. “Listen here, asshole,” he seethed. “I don’t care if you’re my boss or just some douchebag who thinks he can throw his weight around, but I’m a lawyer. A damn good one, too. I don’t need to prove that to you or anyone. So, give me the grunt work for all I care. If you just explain it to me, I’ll do it right. But sooner or later, you’re going to need my skills, because whether you like it or not, there was a reason I made it on your application list and there’s a reason I’m standing before you right now. Something tells me you’re a picky bastard and if I didn’t have what it took to be a part of the Akatsuki, I doubt I would’ve been allowed to step foot on this floor in the first place. Am I right or am I right?”
The boss’s gaze burned into Naruto’s, and for a moment no one moved. Eventually, however, the boss broke eye contact with a sigh. Dragging a hand over his face, the man glanced down at him once more, spun around and continued his trek towards the elevator.
“You’re not getting paid for tonight,” the man shot back over his shoulder as he left.
Naruto didn’t even bother replying. Instead, he stiffly waited as the man got on the elevator and descended from the office floor.
His body only relaxed upon no longer hearing the metal contraption’s movements. Releasing a deep breath, Naruto awkwardly glanced back at the rest of his co-workers who’d all been watching the scene in silence.
“U-Um …”
“Fuck yeah!!! Way to go, kid!!!” Hidan suddenly exclaimed, jumping at him and hooking an arm over his shoulders.
Naruto blinked rapidly as smiles seemed to break out on everyone’s faces.
“You sure showed that dick whose boss, hm,” Deidara agreed, crossing his arms over his chest and nodding his head along like a proud parent.
“I’m,” Naruto gulped. “I’m not in trouble?”
“Hardly,” Itachi replied. “You just showed him that you can hold your own. He appreciates that.”
He does????
“Welcome to the team, kid.” Kisame’s large hand ruffled his spiky blonde locks. Naruto tried to swat him away, but Hidan’s arm was stopping him from doing so. “I think that just made things extra official.”
“If you guys say so …”
Konan hummed, a slight chuckle in her voice. “We say so.”
“Now that you’re employed here,” the tall man with the notebook finally spoke, his voice husky and low, “you’ll need to arrive at the office no later than 8 in the morning. Tomorrow, we’ll handle your method of payment and potential benefits.”
Naruto nodded. “Uh, sure.”
“Also,” began Sasori with a displeased cringe, “next time maybe come with a tie. I don’t want Deidara and Hidan’s barbaric dress code to rub off on you.”
“HEY!” Deidara cried out while Hidan only shrugged, unconcerned. “Unlike you, I had to go out in the sweltering heat today and negotiate with a bunch of idiots who don’t even know how to plant evidence correctly.”
“… and you do?” Naruto asked, kind of curious.
Deidara rolled his eyes. “Of course, I do. We all do.” He then clenched his fist and, with a large grin, tapped it against Naruto’s arm. “Pretty soon, you will too.”
Hidan gave him one more shake before finally letting him go. “Seriously kid, you’re gonna have a blast.”
“But it’s mostly going to be a lot of work,” Nagato warned him. “This job can be thankless at times, and you won’t always have a good pay off. But none of us wouldn’t be here if we weren’t in it for the long haul. All that is to say, it’s nice to have you join us, Naruto.”
Vehemently, the young man nodded. “S-Same here. I mean, I’m glad to be here. I’ll work my hardest, dattebayo! Believe it!”
“Good to hear.” A small smile spread across Nagato’s face, before he turned to the rest of the group. “Alright everyone, let’s close up shop for the night.”
Everyone did as they were told, grabbing their belongings and heading towards the elevators. Naruto trailed after them, observing as they conversed or joked with one another. Somehow, it all suddenly felt so casual and easy.
(And all he had to do was shout at his boss).
Naruto eased his shoulders against the back wall of the descending elevator, breathing in steadily and finding comfort in the fact that he didn’t feel the urge to nervously tug at his shirt anymore.
Suddenly the prospect of tomorrow’s workday had him teeming with excitement. He couldn’t wait to start working here, to start learning the ropes and finally become a staple member of this highly respected organization.
As if sensing his glee, Hidan leaned over and cackled in his ear, “Gladiators in suits, kid. Gladiators in suits.”