Archive of Our Own

Seokjin buckled the straps of his stilettos and looked at his figure in the full length mirror near the doorway of the changing rooms. He cracked his neck in a manner of giving himself a pep-talk and massaged his own knuckles before the final round. It was the day of their annual college pageant and Seokjin was ten minutes away from being crowned for the third time in a row, creating a record in the history of that event like never before. The thrill of being quite assured and in his final year, not over confident though, had him playing with a sequin in his jacket before he realised that he would have to return it to the designer. 

The host for the day, Min Yoongi, who was his best friend and school captain, verbally made a countdown and cheered on all the participants back to the stage. He winked at Seokjin and the almost-man-of-the-hour gleamed back at him. The air was electrifying, the junior students in the galleries cheered and hooted and the excitement was so real. 

The host took a spot accurately in between the four finalists and tapped his mic, the room fell silent like a low heartbeat. 

"Welcome back everybody, for the final round and that moment we've all been waiting for." A round of applause sounded and echoed off the wooden walls.

He joked, "I hope all the participants have already picked somebody as their date?-" he laughed, and so did the judges on the side, "- okay okay without further ado let's open this folder." 

Seokjin would never ever pick himself a date. He'd lie, saying that his date was waiting outside the college gates and then leg over his racer bicycle to ride off with a speedometer reading of a minimum eighty.

Whispers were sounding loud and elated, and Seokjin waited for the spotlight to sweep down upon him and for the audience to break into an excited applause. He waited and made a small countdown and then the host started speaking. 

"On behalf of the student council and the faculty, I welcome KIM TAEHYUNG on the board of the annual pageant winners." 

Exuberant appreciation ricocheted off the walls.

Seokjin's ears stunned out, he applauded first and then turned to look to his left. The younger boy stood with wide disbelieving eyes and Seokjin smiled, genuinely. He stared for a little longer and the man of the hour who was clad in cinnamon silk robes, radiated a potential which according to Seokjin was yet to be cultivated. He nodded and applauded along with the audience and Taehyung took to the podium for his acceptance speech. 

As the curtains drew in, Seokjin gracefully turned and walked through the wings and back to the changing rooms. He picked up his makeup bag, his phone and rushed to occupy one of the stalls at the end. He recognised the unsettling feeling in his chest the moment he looked at himself in the mirror inside the stall – even his glitter liner couldn't hide the gloom under its shine. He smiled again, like self consolation he smiled and brought out his makeup remover. 

He dabbed a pad dipped in the gel along the lines under his eyes. Somewhere maybe he had wanted that public justification of making history, but it's okay, not like he was dying. Yet; Seokjin chuckled and cleaned the layers off his cheeks, moving onto his perfectly sized chin. 

His honey skin showed itself clearly from underneath and suddenly he wanted to be kissed. A loud sound outside pulled his focus out of his reflection and he heard some boys babble happily, if he had been correct with his gauging abilities then it was Taehyung's friends congratulating him. That boy deserved it though. 

His statistics degree will come easy. And that's what irked Seokjin more – he was better in the less liked arenas and had to work his ass off for the better preferred ones. The validation is more seeked in such scenarios. 

With one smooth stroke he rubbed off his burnt orange shimmer shadow and tar black liner. Their faint lasting presence made Seokjin's eyes look lustrous and lureable. He liked that look, he knew its powers. As if on cue his phone dinged and Seokjin chucked the cotton pad into the bin before turning his attention to it. He looked at the text for a minute, thinking.

Green room, He replied and bit his lips.

Seokjin pulled on a pair of black biker high denims and a full sleeve white pullover, he rolled the sleeves up. After splashing some good amount of water on his face and then pat drying it, he applied some sunscreen and some mascara and he was ready to go. He bunched up his hanger under his arm and opened the door to receive a gust of the cool breeze from the air conditioner. 

A batchmate passed by him with a pat on his shoulder and murmured a backhand praise in the passing. Seokjin chuckled shortly and just nodded to him. Everyone had already left, which was a good thing, so he sat down on one of the couches and brought out his phone to pass the minutes of waiting. The clock flashed a neat "18:00" and he laid his head backward, feeling all the tire prick in his back musculature. 

Suddenly, and unexpectedly, a door burst open breaking Seokjin's rest and when he looked up he saw Taehyung struggling with the latch of the restroom. 

"Need some help?" Seokjin volunteered. And that was their first ever interaction. 

Taehyung turned around in shock and stuttered a confusion of 'no' and 'yes' and Seokjin smiled softly, got up and helped him latch the door closed. Seokjin was quite the diva and he understood where Taehyung's hesitation had arisen from, so he didn't budge there – he just placed a quiet hand over his shoulder and patted him. 

"Congratulations, Taehyung. You deserved it." 

"Y-you think so? I mean I'm really sorry, Seokjin-ssi. I didn't have any intention of taking your place. Really, it's yours. My friends had pushed me, so-"

"Hey, breathe breathe! There's nothing called 'your place' in this industry, Taehyung. The best one is the deserving one."

"No but-"

"Nothing. You looked gorgeous. And besides, the confidence that you held your chin up with, the judges should've been on their knees." 

Taehyung spared an afflicted glance and went back to stuffing his boots in it's box. Frightened rather. Like Kim Seokjin? The one and only? Must have gone mad to compliment him to that extent. 

A moment later he had joined the dots on his own and realised that that meant he had watched him go up on stage. Fuck. 

He looked at the man once again, who was gallantly sprawled on the small couch, and then picked up his bags to leave. 

"You were amazing too, just so you know." 

Seokjin looked up from his phone and smiled. "I know, but thanks." 

Taehyung bit down his large grin, said, "have a good day", and left. Seokjin whispered, "you too", but Taehyung was already out of the door. 

When he heard footsteps again, Seokjin looked up to find his boy standing in the doorway, hand hanging over the frame, just about to knock. He smiled; Namjoon, his junior by a year, walked up to him. 

"Hey", Namjoon broke into a grin and Seokjin almost mirrored back. He looked at him and saw how pretty he was. Seokjin loved him alot, platonically, but he did. Namjoon was one of the safest companies Seokjin had ever had, someone he could call up in the middle of the night and someone he could just sit in the silence with. Sometimes they went on morning jogs together, it's sweet. 

Seokjin got up on his feet and pulled him in. 

"I missed you", Namjoon whispered and Seokjin smiled against his neck. 

"Me too, sorry that I was busy." 

"I heard… Are you sad?" 

"No, that boy deserved it." 

Namjoon looked at him for a second and sans any hesitation kissed the older one. Seokjin laughed a little and kissed him back, opened his mouth for the boy and allowed his tongue to venture in. He was always very patient, for example now, as Namjoon tried to eat at his hunger. After all, Seokjin had been the one to tell him to never leave himself craving. 

They had been going like that for a year now – no strings attached, just company. Maybe a bit of a glutinous company, but still. 

Seokjin brought a hand to his nape and caressed, Namjoon nibbled down on his lip and Seokjin held his breath. He stiffened his hand and tilted their heads, whorled his tongue around the other's and forced his way through. Namjoon moaned and Seokjin pressed his tongue down upon Namjoon's, Namjoon gasped for a little air and in return fought his way by kissing him harder. 

"You wanted to talk about something, Joonie?" 

"I- mmh", Namjoon attacked Seokjin's chin and jaws and lapped like an unfed pup. Seokjin arched his neck to provide for him and Namjoon ran his teeth along the wet patch of skin. 

Seokjin mused under the feeling, his emotions satiated, "b-mmh, baby boy!" 

"Hm?"

"For how much longer? I have two months left in college."

Seokjin held him at an arm's length and his eyes landed on the sudden tear well of Namjoon's eyes and he felt his heart drop. Never ever did he get his heart entangled, but for this one boy, he cared enough. 

"Joonie?" 

"I-I'm so-sorry", Namjoon hid his face in his palms and Seokjin instantly took them apart, instinctively he kissed his palms. 

"What happened, dear?" 

"I- I got selected for a student program at NASA.. it's sort of an internship and ihavetoleave for it tomorrow." 

Seokjin stared at him and in the next second jumped up and hugged him. His smile grew larger and rubbed the younger's shoulders. 

"Hey! I'm so happy for you, Joon!"

"What- what do you mean? You aren't mad at me?" 

"I'm not that cruel, c'mon."

"N-no just… I thought you'd, I mean I would like to be there for your graduation, before you leave for-" 

"I'd love that too, but this is better." 

He didn't give any time to Namjoon's growing confusion,Seokjin rubbed a thumb over his cheekbones and said, "you'd be hurt to see me go." 

"And what about you?" 

Seokjin smiled, "I'm quite the known asshole, no? Don't worry about me." 

"I lov-", Seokjin smacked a kiss upon those lips.

"Good luck Namjoon-ah. Work hard, hopefully we'll meet again." 

Seokjin gulped the lumpful of guilt in his throat. 

He brushed a hand over his hair and picked up his bags, for the flicker of a second he doubted if his charisma was slowly regressing but he smiled one last time, looking at Namjoon's back and jogged down the spiral stairs to the backside of their campus. 

And that is how it ended. That is how it started. 

When Seokjin came out to the gates, evening had heavily set, the street lights widely lit up the hood of cars and trucks and the sound of bikes wheezing past him. He waited for the traffic to lessen to get to his car, just when he spotted a boy with a large backpack under the shone of the lights at the far end of the gate. He walked up to him. 

"Taehyung?" 

His head snapped to look at Seokjin. 

"Hi! Seokjin-ssi… we meet again", and he laughed. 

"You can call me hyung. But are you waiting for someone? It's getting late." 

"Yeah, my cab. Lol. It says it's fifteen minutes away." 

"That's like… are we going the same way? I'm going home, Gangnam." 

Seokjin saw Taehyung's eyebrows rise and drop at the hint of him being so very well off. 

"Yeah maybe- but please it's fine, you don't have to take the trouble." 

Seokjin patted his arm and mumbled, "come", he had reluctantly held his wrist and crossed the road to where his black, almost vintage, Camry had stood. They shuffled in quickly before another car would speed and stop recklessly – as Seokjin took his time to adjust the mirrors and start the engine, Taehyung had slipped his heel out of his regular loafers. He had scolded himself for starting to be comfortable already but he didn't budge to put his feet back in. He quite hated not being socially allowed to have his dainty and kissable ankles on display for everyone to lust upon. 

"I really hope I'm not piling upon?" 

"You would never, just relax." Seokjin steered out of the curb and became a part of the stream of vehicles on the main road. 

The car smelled of berries and Taehyung let the fragrance wash over him as soon as Seokjin had turned on the air conditioner. 

"All good?" Seokjin turned to look at him and asked.

"Your car… It smells really nice." 

"Mission accomp-", before Seokjin could finish, Taehyung had dodged in and changed the subject. 

"You really think I was good?" 

"Huh?" Seokjin glazed his eyes over Taehyung. Something clicked off in his head and Seokjin had a vague recollection of Taehyung being distracted up until then. 

"Taehyung," he paused to turn off the engine at the signal, "you put together colours that were so bold. You put on three layers and boots when you knew that commonly people spare as much skin as they can, and yet. You, who's technically a rookie, risked the tradition to go your own way. So, what do you think? Were you good?"

Seokjin looked at him now, hand lengthened upon the wheel. He saw Taehyung chew his bottom lip, lick and chew again. 

"Before the signal goes green?" He said. 

There was silence inside the car, Seokjin almost heard his own breathing. A minute later the lights turned to a glowing green, he twisted the key in the hole and the engine groaned up and Seokjin steered past the crossing. 

It was about some more minutes later that he heard Taehyung's voice, finally, "but, does that qualify me as an ace in the race?" 

Seokjin chuckled, "I'm sorry if it hurts you, but acing this race doesn't happen overnight." 

"No, I like honesty." 

"Then let me be honest – you do have the potential." 

Taehyung laughed a little, still a bit hesitant. 

Seokjin turned past signals and overtook two cars, the ride remained quiet. Seokjin hadn't interacted with Taehyung earlier, but he'd seen him around. Taehyung had started an Art Review Magazine club in their college, and that word had spread fast. Nothing of that sort had existed prior to that but the Dean was convinced by the fifteen page essay that Taehyung had apparently submitted and had agreed to start the club with him, the only student in his batch with full scholarship, as the president. It was madness for a freshman to hold that position but Taehyung had history in that field and he was deserving. 

"How did you get into modelling?" 

"My sister used to be jealous of my legs", Seokjin laughed at the memory and Taehyung joined in subtly. If he had seen Taehyung glance more than once at his denim clad legs, pressed on the clutch, then he didn't mention it. 

"Hey, umm, you can drop me by that bus stop and it's just a minute's walk from there." 

"Which equals to seconds of driving time." 

Seokjin hadn't said any more, just drove till the bus point and then thirty seconds more inside the narrow lane and then pulled the brakes. 

"Thank you so much for the ride, Seokjin ss-hyung." 

Seokjin had only smiled and nodded his head, "see you around, yeah?" 

"Yeah", Taehyung clasped off his seat belt and stepped outside rather quickly. Seokjin had watched him walk upto the gates and it's only after that, he had taken the u-turn and driven around the circle and westward to his uselessly lonely apartment. 

That night, Seokjin had a dream. Very funny because he was never of the dreamer sort, he slept to recuperate from his fatigue and that's all. He had a 'no strings attached' relation with his sleep as well. 

Seokjin dreamt of a cub, he couldn't remember what animal cub it was the next morning but it was small and fluffy and Seokjin had found it in the curb near his house. He saw of himself chasing it – why or how he didn't know but he kept speeding and running behind the small and lively soul. The closer he went, the further it ran away and Seokjin kept chasing the baby cub in his dream. He huffed and puffed and still couldn't get a hold onto the cub – his surroundings grew dark and stinky and all he wanted was to get the little one out of it but to no avail. When almost near the light at the end of a tunnel, Seokjin had leapt, had even felt the fur under his palm and still the cub slipped out of his grasp. 

Seokjin had woken up with a jerk and strained eyes, tears waiting to spill out. 

That day, when his best friend had spotted him being absent minded in the queue up to their coffee order, Yoongi had knocked him on the shoulder and Seokjin had flashed his usual bright smile to dismiss it. When his math professor had to call out his name a time more than once, he hadn't paid a heed, nor did he realise that he was about to bump into the pillar in the hallway. It was so unusual of him to be out of order and perhaps it was more unusual of him to have dreamt such an oddity. All he wanted was to protect. 

The year was coming to a close, that meant that their graduation was near. Seokjin had stopped seeing Namjoon on campus, quite obviously and slowly that sense of the lacuna had started fading. He went for some drinks with his friends for the last time before their final exams and returned home late. With the hell week awaiting to barge in, Seokjin had started staying up all night accompanied by a warm mug of homestyle tea – his hands worked at lightning speed as he practiced and redid the numericals, learned the last minute concepts and almost tried to inhale his book. He started going to bed at four in the morning and woke up twenty minutes before the exam. It was tough but he was dealing, not too bad.

A time or two, during the week of his exams, he'd passed Taehyung in the campus and everytime he did, Taehyung had stopped to greet him. It was mostly a smile with the blink of his eyes and a small wave of his hand, but it was nice. It was nice for Seokjin to see someone other than the invigilating professors, the handful of peers from his stream and the four walls of his room. Slowly, very slowly, he had grown accustomed to it. 

He never realised, until he had submitted his final paper and walked out of the college gates for quite the last time. As Seokjin crossed the road, again, to his car, his breath heaving a sigh as well as itching to get carbonated, he spotted a group of boys crossing the field and walking towards the gate. He turned around and spotted Taehyung, like he was waiting for it. Something strung in his chest and in that moment he realised that he needed to see Taehyung too for the last time. 

"Lone trip again?" 

Seokjin whipped his head around, Taehyung stood just behind him. When did he get so close? Seokjin felt like he was caught and it was illegal to feel what he felt – he tried covering it up with a patchy smile. 

He nodded, "won't be coming back around." 

He saw Taehyung look at him with startled eyes, his friends stood quietly taking in the not very exciting but seokjin's vein thumping scene. 

"Why are you making it sound like a break up?" 

"I'm breaking up with this schoo- wanna join?" 

As fast as Seokjin had asked, Taehyung had replied. He still stared at the older man but he nodded. However there was no smile, no indication of elation, Seokjin screwed his eyebrows inward.

Taehyung turned and patted one of their shoulders and muttered what, to Seokjin, seemed like a goodbye. The rest of them took to foot toward the other side of the street and Seokjin waited with his hand on the handle of the shotgun door. 

"I don't want to pressurise-" 

"No, I want to come with you." 

Seokjin quickly shuffled inside the driver's, there was a weird clot of anticipation in the air and suddenly Seokjin was a little scared. He didn't know how much he was putting at stake, to be honest he didn't know why he made the proposition at all. Taehyung was an element, maybe the sixth of the universe, the very unknown. Seokjin was starting to realise that he was mesmerised. It was an unfamiliar emotion, he had left all emotions behind a long time back and he very much regressed wanting to trudge back on those paths, and yet. 

He mindlessly fixed the mirrors and his seat, leaned them back and stretched his legs. He thumbed over the steering wheel and closed his eyes. It's not like he was in love, it's not so easy for him but there's a scary fondness in his chest. 

"Everything alright, hyung?" 

Taehyung had taken to the ease of conversation better than Seokjin had thought he would. 

He flung his eyes open and jabbed the key into the ignition. 

Do you need, do you need someone

For a moment, that old silence came back up again and Seokjin found an awkward balance of calm and chaos within himself. He didn't understand why there was a silence yet he liked the flavour of it, the serenity of their lapping breaths, both aware of the other's presence and still a beautiful lack of words. Speechlessness could be intimate too. He passed a signal and heard a faint giggle, looked beside him and Taehyung was smiling at his phone. Seokjin looked at him for a moment. Ninety seconds almost. 

"Have you ever got lost among the stars?" Seokjin heard himself speak, suddenly, and he felt the rising tide of adventure inside him. 

Taehyung looked up from his phone and at Seokjin, the older saw him get stuck. Seokjin didn't move his eyes from where it had been captured. A barking deer caught in the quiet wilderness of dawn break. When a horn blew off his ears, Seokjin teared his gaze away. He wanted to cry. 

"I- I've never been to.."

"You've never watched the stars?" Seokjin pulled his mind to focus on the confused voice beside him while he controlled the directed speed limit. 

There was a pause, a black Benz sped past and Seokjin pressing on the accelerator as we went up the highway. 

"I grew up in a very controlled household. And umm.. I wasn't allowed to, you know." 

"Do I? Well, do you have time today?" 

Seokjin changed the gear to five, his adventure was seeking bravado at this point. There was a rush, he didn't know what he was aiming for but it was rushed, something was rushing. Away from him. If he wasn't concentrating on the road and on the candy melt boy beside him, he'd remember that horrific dream of his – seven years old and he had slept through the whole time watching everything he owned, from his new ipod to his grandparents' picture frame be dragged away from him. Snatched, and he had seen himself sit and whine without rescue. He had woken up feeling heady and stumbled down to the ground on his way to the bathroom, it had taken more than an hour to convince him that that was a mere dream. Nightmare, he had told himself. Seokjin pulled the break at the next stop.

"Y- you will show me the stars?" 

If he could just hear this voice forever. 

Seokjin turned to look at Taehyung, he saw his eyes and felt that he himself was melting like a candy in summer. Seokjin had never seen such a beautiful pair of eyes, the arch, the slope and then the emotion that it held at this point. As much as he was melting, Taehyung's second's stutter was sounding in his ears – he felt how dramatic it was becoming with all the pauses and the breaths but his mind was racing. The look, holy god, Seokjin wanted to take a picture. 

Taehyung kept looking at him like he was spelled. Seokjin smiled, even unknown to himself he started smiling and tried to slot his gaze into the other's – it was a squishy ground, Taehyung didn't budge, he just kept his irises fixed and Seokjin prodded near, his gaze went in closer and smiled at Taehyung's. Whispered something sweet, soft and secretive and Taehyung blinked. A droplet floated up to the surface and Seokjin's eyes dipped down into the waters, waddled its feet and dunk to go underneath. He started swimming in his gaze, at some point the world had stopped and he parted a space for himself with some beautiful butterfly strokes. Taehyung shook and immediately Seokjin fit himself in. Their eyes interlocked, Pont des Arts shivered and something electric had struck both of their hearts.

Seokjin smiled and tore away, he was proud of his control but– 

"I could, let's go." 

But he couldn't stop thinking about what he had felt. 

"You sure nobody's going to report me for abduction?"

"My roommate has a micro crush on you, he'd never." Taehyung chuckled.

Seokjin slowed down as the herd of cars increased in number, "Did he want an autograph?"

"Mh, maybe." 

If Seokjin had heard the glee in his voice, he didn't mention that either. 

Their conversation waned, Seokjin took to the road with focused eyes, the clock turned to a whole seventeen hundred and thirty hours and the Sun had started to cower downward. He typed in their destination on the GRPS and saw the red pin locate itself at the end of the blue route as the map said it'll take them a fifteen minutes drive from then on. By the time Seokjin reached the next signal point, he saw Taehyung rest his head back on the seat with his mouth slightly ajar and faint rumbles of breath from his nostrils – Seokjin's ears clicked and his mouth tweaked upward by half an inch.

After another highway ride and the speed dial showing a mark at the eightieth point, Taehyung stirred. Seokjin noticed. The roads were much more clear by now, the evening growing more dense, the car lights seemingly more flashy and the grumble of wheels on the pitch path more daring. 

Are you scared of what's to come

"How long?"

Seokjin's brows shot up at Taehyung's drowsy voice. It smelled of crushed vanilla beans in a wooden petri dish over the December fire. Seokjin blinked. 

"Count to ten and voila!" 

He rounded the corner and already saw the picket fence of the house – he glanced over at Taehyung and that man was busy looking outside the window, the breeze swishing over his face but he never cared. So much so that he didn’t even bother asking Seokjin where they were headed and when this thought had struck the elder, Seokjin chewed down on his chapped lips. 

Seokjin wasn’t used to trust, and what Taehyung was setting down in him was custody, he was giving up and Seokjin didn’t know how to handle that. He was illiterate in the subject of confidant and this was faith greater than god. Even the pope would look up at the cross every morning to know which ward he was praying. 

The car jerked and stopped. Seokjin still gripped onto the brake; he gulped to smoothen the dryness. 

“It’s my parents house.” He looked past Taehyung's shoulders, through the window on his side and at the dimly lit farmhouse. 

“Is it haunted?” 

Seokjin laughed, “ghost and stars isn't a very good combination, is it?” 

Taehyung turned, “wouldn't mind some adventure though.” 

“Next time? I have a friend whose-”

“You’re very resourceful.” 

Both of them laughed this time and Seokjin untrapped himself out the belt. Taehyung had already closed the door behind him and was standing outside the low wooden gates.

“It is what it is, okay?” 

“What is what? Do you like DC over Marvel?” 

Taehyung looked away, a small and guilt-peppered smile shining at the corner of his mouth. 

“I- well…” he looked at Seokjin, who was staring back at him, waiting for the answer. A hand over the opened fridge door, the bright cold light sparkling up his face, Taehyung thought he looked hot. For the exact reason, he stammered and spilled the beans in a rushed breathless sentence. 

“I haven't watched any, actually.”

“You- what?”

“Look, look please don’t judge me? I don’t- I never found the intrigue in fantastical things and my nerd ass was enough to go over reddit threads for the purpose of school gossip. I survived.” 

“You have a lot of things to learn, my boy.” 

Seokjin didn't know that Taehyung saw him smirk and that something had twisted in the younger's guts.

Seokjin grabbed the bottle opener from top of the fridge and sprung open the caps of the Coronas in his hand. He pushed the slice of lemon in and handed it to Taehyung, the metal of the opener tinked against the fridge body and they walked out of the dark kitchen onto the lawn. 

Seokjin flicked a switch on his way out of the building and suddenly Taehyung stopped. He turned around to look at him and then at the lights that had lit up across the field. They reflected off of Taehyung's eyes and Seokjin came up to stand beside him, he had taken the picturesque scene of the enlit eyeballs of the younger and drawn his lips inward to stop himself from physically hissing out. Seokjin thought that if he could paint, he’d paint this scene and then fold the paper to put it inside his wallet. For him to open and see before leaving his belongings in the base camp on the day of the war. Just for him, this boy and the sparkle in his eyes.

“It’s beautiful.”

If you leave then who will the next one be

“Thanks.” He smiled. 

“Do you know anything about stars?” 

Taehyung looked up at the vastness. Seokjin looked at him and chuckled. 

“You’re the nerd between us two.” 

“Yeah, then I’m the one with three Olympiad trophies too.” Taehyung mumbled. 

“How did you- what?”

Taehyung looked back at him and smirked. He returned to look up and sipped from his bottle the golden liquid. The moment was like silk slipping and Seokjin was the one who was left stunned this time. 

“Hey!” Seokjin's heart picked up.

“I think I saw Capricornus,” Taehyung turned to him, lips parting already to smile wide but cocky. Eyes glinting with mischief and Seokjin was losing footing. This isn’t how he had planned it. Taehyung licked his lips and rolled over on the mattress. Asshole. 

So basically, the older grad student with a sexy degree in statistics and legs perfect to be put on a pedestal, had driven the younger, artistic nerd with brilliance for eyes and glitter for a smile to a farmhouse in the outskirts. To watch the stars – on a shared mattress, beers in hand and a string of fancy lamps lighting up the dark house in the background. Picturesque and dramatic. And too beautiful for Taehyung's inexperienced heart. 

“You saw nothing, answer my question.” Seokjin meant to order but it ended up sounding like begging. 

“How would you know, hyung?” Every word dripped of tease; is this what they called liquid courage? How light could someone be? 

“Ya-” Seokjin opened his mouth to call out but Taehyung was already prepared with a reply and some more slippery devilment. He rolled and slid up under Seokjin, his breath held itself hostage and Taehyung aligned their faces, chin under chin. Taehyung never ceased smiling and Seokjin could see the horns of baby Lucifer on him. 

A hand flitted upward, Seokjin stilled and Taehyung reached up to the button seam. Seokjin bore down into his place in Taehyung's gaze, his hands ached from the strained position on either side of the younger’s face and he shut his eyes. 

He felt the trace of fingers, the light tug at his collar and when he opened his eyes and licked his drying mouth, because the battle of hell had begun, Taehyung pulled him down and smashed his mouth on the far corner of the elder’s. Seokjin felt the honey dribble touch him and fade away and it infuriated him, he shut his eyes again and this time, he heard Taehyung laugh from the core of his heart. 

The strings of the puppet snapped and Seokjin dropped down from his elbows, he immediately rolled over. And out. 

The air froze, a breeze blew over Seokjin's bare hip where the shirt had crumpled up and he bit down, reprimanding himself for acting like a child. His head hung from the edge of the mattress, a dusty smell clogging his nostrils and the grass stood right in front of his eyes. He let his brain do the running for a while, Seokjin knew he needed to get a fucking grip. 

The thing with him was that he never expected and hence he never waited. But Taehyung had rammed through his door and held him down by his throat. How could our poor little Seokjin leave at this point? How could he not wait, any small sign and he wanted to jump right in, wanted to give and wanted to stay. However, he probably should get up and dust off his pants now. 

Seokjin opened his eyes and a few dots of celestial glitter caught his fuzzing vision right away. He blinked and focused his eyes, the silence engulfed him from down and upward, and he looked for a triangle, the curve of the horns or anything that’d mark the truth of Taehyung's words. 

“I’m sorry?” 

Seokjin's eyes pushed the droplet back inside. He was exhaled and his chest hilled up and then down. 

Suddenly he felt the fingers of his callously placed hand being grabbed. He let them. He felt Taehyung wait, pause and then creep his hand up a little more. Their hands fit and Taehyung immediately intertwined their fingers, Seokjin still hadn’t faced him. He was embarrassed beyond measure. 

“Hyung” 

Oh fuck.

Seokjin turned his face and Taehyung was lying on the other edge of the mattress with their hands linked in between like an umbilical. Two persons, two realms, modern era Adam and God. A fresco being painted on the bright green earth. 

Seokjin extended his arm and tugged, Taehyung reacted positively and Seokjin pulled him in. He rolled onto his chest and his face dropped at the joint of the older's shoulders. Taehyung giggled and Seokjin wrapped his arm around the younger one. 

“It’s okay.” 

Now, it definitely was okay. Back to square one, huh, Kim Seokjin? They lay there like that for a whole half minute and Seokjin knew he was smiling timidly by the end of it. 

“I was seven”, Taehyung’s voice grumbled in between the folds of his shirt and Seokjin came back to them. He didn't say a word, but just rubbed his thumb on the hump of his shoulder blade. 

“My parents, umm, yeah step whatever, were out on a business trip. And I was home alone. The kitchen tap had a breakdown two days back but they didn’t have the time to fix that.” 

Seokjin heard intently, like he was inspecting, waiting for something to happen. He wouldn't interrupt the boy even if he had questions. 

“And I was an imaginative kid, kept thinking of the directorial aspects of the scene. Dark kitchen, white street lamps seeming electric blue and the tap running – drip, drip drop. Imagine, hyung?” 

Taehyung detached them from their chests and bent backward, looking at the elder one. Seokjin was caught zoned out and he quickly smiled and nodded. Can’t wait to know why Taehyung had started on an anecdote.

“And that was fun. But I couldn't get over the image, it got stuck in my head, I was out of my consciousness but I was living, it wasn't too bad. Until I had gone to sleep alone that night and seen a group of bad and burly men break into our house. I was terrified but I never went outside my room, pretended to keep sleeping. There were some really loud sounds, breaking and thrashing but I was still holding on–” Seokjin heard his voice lower down to a mewl, “– but suddenly one of them had found my room and found me and before I realised they were on the bed, beside me and o-over my chest and they had pulled down my blanket and I had squealed but he smiled at me wickedly and his hand was on my cheek and–” Taehyung dug his face in Seokjin’s chest again. 

Seokjin waited, obviously, and then he whispered, “Love?” 

Taehyung mumbled the rest from where he lay unmoving, “and then I woke up. It was the worst nightmare because I never got over it until I moved out before college. That house fucked me up and now when you were on top of me, I–”

“Oh my goodness, fuck, fuck i’m so sorry baby, I didn’t know. I’m so-”, Seokjin rambled and pulled Taehyung completely on top of him and wrapped both his arms around the lissom back and waist and held him so tightly, that even if the realms became one to take Taehyung away from him, he’d fight them. 

Hours passed before Taehyung laughed and told him that he couldn't breathe, Seokjin laughed too and they untangled. They spared a look at eachother and Seokjin looked down immediately, his insides flushed a petal pink. 

“Wanna stay here? I don't think so?” 

Taehyung shook his head. 

Seokjin got up, shirt crumpled and pants dusty and extended his arm for Taehyung to hold on to. Taehyung stared, smiled and grabbed his thumb. Palms were still warm and untouched by the evil wind. 

“Did you even watch the stars?” 

Taehyung looked at him, nodded. 

Two boys full of youth, adventure and a bucket load of bollocks. It had been a cloudy sky that night – stars, who?

You don't have to hurt, you don't have to hurt anymore

The road was clear, the music was on, Taehyung's feet were hiked over the glove box and Seokjin drove with one hand. Another one wanted to rest on a thigh, but nope. Not yet. He kept fiddling with the cord of his charger to check if it was working fine. The ETA had dropped by five minutes and Seokjin didn’t have much time to himself before he’d have to halt in front of Taehyung's apartment. The story about how he got that farmhouse to himself could wait. 

Taehyung giggled as the next song started playing on the radio, the sky thundered and Seokjin smiled, he couldn't believe Taehyung was taking so much at ease. A sharp harmonica played in the background and almost in sync Seokjin went around the four point crossing. Taehyung's house was getting closer, at this point all he wished for was atleast the song to end before the stop so that he could watch Taehyung feel himself as the breeze danced along through the open windows. 

Taehyung threw his arms up in the air, mouthed out loud, banged his head in the air and Seokjin couldn’t help himself from laughing and enjoying the show. Taehyung looked like he carried the definition to a spirited soul, the zest of lemon and orange and sugar crystals blended together. 

The sky roared again and the song pitched up antagonistically. 

The blue and white looking building behind the dark iron gates came into view and he probably had thirty seconds of clock time to grab whatever essence Taehyung he could. And it was right then, that the song rumbled to an end and Taehyung threw a cheer along with ot and as he was getting his breath back, he announced, “I wish I didn't have to go home."

Taehyung was looking at him – he switched off the radio, a lightning flashed across the night sky when Taehyung rolled his glass further down and looked back at the elder. Seokjin kept waiting, didn’t know what the boy was upto with all that preparation but then his hand came over his own on the gear Seokjin felt his chest congest. 

“What do you mean?"  

Thing is, Seokjin was scared. He had always been the excited one out of any two but this time the difference was stark and sweet but also pretty vulnerable. 

“Because time is too precious and I'm scared. You’re here tonight, with me. What if tomorrow you’re not?” 

“Taehyung?"

Taehyung sucked in a breath, and then smiled with his lips tight. 

A tiny smile creeped on Seokjin's face too but he didn't know where he could hypothetically abduct that bundle of energy beside him, that too at ten in the night. So he allowed it to pass, hated it and some part of him told him that he was risking it but – Taehyung clicked the lock open and then the door. He grabbed his phone off the dash before leaving and closed the door behind him. Seokjin shut his door behind him and rushed around to the other side of the car. 

Taehyung found his path blocked and he looked up, into the quivering eyes that were holding him still. 

"I… Some close friends will be coming over on Christmas. So if you'd like to.. I mean if you wouldn't mind joining us?"

Seokjin drank in the scene of the streetlight licking a mauve and burnt yellow across Taehyung's face as a smirk followed pattern over his lips. 

He nodded, "see you soon then?" 

Seokjin beamed. 

So, two weeks later, Seokjin was running in between his kitchen top and the fridge, busy setting up for the evening. He'd been waiting for this evening and went shopping seven days back. He wasn't sure what it was that was kicking up very loving in the guts, until of course it was past midnight and, a few days after his detour with Taehyung, and the man in question had sent the first "hi" of their oncoming long conversations. Min Yoongi had squinted at him in suspicion and Seokjin had pushed him at the noodle rack in the mart. Yoongi had laughed and Seokjin had walked off with their cart full of ingredients in front of him. 

He counted the bottles of beer in the fridge and pushed the wine to the absolute end of the rack, lest Jungkook found it. The turkish crockery on his wooden dining table looked fancy and when Seokjin walked back to it with a bowl of waffle rocks, he found Yoongi video calling his boyfriend overseas and showing him how pretty the lights were and how he was the one to hang them up in the lawn. 

"That chandelier is Jin's parents' but of course I was the only one who remembered to bring it out of the storehouse."

"I will bury you right here, Min Yoongi!" Seokjin said over his shoulder, on the way to the kitchen to bring in the final plate of savouries. 

He heard Yoongi's boyfriend laugh on the other side of the line, he checked his phone for any calls and then joined Yoongi on the call. 

"Hey hyung, how're you?" 

"I'm great, thanks for asking Hoseok-ah. But now I'll have to steal your boyfriend for a bit of pre-party prep. Wish you were here too." 

"Oh I'll be there next year, hyung. And yes, sure, take him away… I anyway have to get a presentation done for tomorrow." 

Yoongi left the phone in Seokjin's custody and walked away while grumbling something about him being the target of plotted harassment. Seokjin heard him and laughed and waved off Hoseok. He begged Yoongi to get the sprinklers for his cupcake icing and Yoongi said that apparently no one would have those "damned cupcakes." But of course he made a dash for the store and after he left, Seokjin was left all alone… to think. 

Very simply, he was nervous. Not that he had any major reasons, but Seokjin was unable to put a foot down on why that detour, that night trip, that attempt at stargazing became so crucial to him. He hadn't stopped thinking about it – he hadn't stopped wondering what if they had actually kissed under the stars? Wondering what Taehyung was feeling? They hadn't talked about it but he was dying to know if Taehyung had already found the candle wick of dejection, that fine thread of emotionlessness. If Taehyung remembered what he had said at the end of that night and if Taehyung was ready to risk another wild tour. 

Soon, Yoongi was back from the store, followed in by a few of their classmates and that neighbour of his. His spiked cupcakes stood ready and pretty on the table and as soon as he was about to grab a beer from the fridge for himself, the doorbell rang. Seokjin's senses peaked and he was almost getting goosebumps, he heard somebody open the door already and was about to plaster his gleaming smile for Taehyung as he walked out of the kitchen, but was met with Jungkook and Jimin, the only nice juniors that they, Yoongi and himself, had met in college. 

He nodded at them and joined his friends on the couch. Jungkook moved to the snack on the table quickly and Jimin held Yoongi in position, engaging him in some energetic conversation about the previous night's football match. Yes Jimin did house a mad crush on Yoongi but a year back they had talked it over and the elder had turned his affection in for repair purposes. Jimin knew he didn't have a chance but since then, the two had grown into excellent friends. Seokjin never understood the equation. 

For him, it was always about conquering. Either he's the king or he found himself one. 

Some of the boys moved to the foosball table in the lawn, two others were talking about a particularly tight pussy and Seokjin cringed. He smiled when he saw Jungkook carry the large bowl of crisps to the coffee table and sit opposite him but in the single couch chair far away from him. Seokjin laughed seeing him hug the bowl and refusing to pass it; there's always that junior who adores you because of god knows what reason and you can't help but adore them back, that's what Jungkook was to Seokjin. From that tear and snot-filled breakup to finding an easier pass-in to the music club, Seokjin was his go to man. 

"Yah punk!" 

"Talking to me, hyung?" Jungkook replied immediately and laughed. 

"Staying here tonight, are you?"

"No, why?" 

"One of the gifts is for you." He pointed at the large Christmas tree that stood in the corner of the room. A bright golden star on top and red, blue, silver bells and angels on every leaflet of the pine. The bark had a string of mini bulbs around it like a lightstick. 

Jungkook hopped to hug him and handed him the bowl of crisps, "are you for real?" 

"No, I just wanted the bowl." 

"You know I hate you right?" 

"Yeah that's why you smirked when I spoke of the gift like you didn't know the custom." 

"Okay okay, the crisps are yours." 

Seokjin laughed and hugged him back. 

"Kim Seokjin, the pizza hasn't arrived yet!" 

"Is this how you talk to elders, Yoongi-ah?" Seokjin got out of his seat in front of the television.

"Shut up, it's getting late and I'm-" the doorbell rang. 

"See you should've said it bef-" he opened the door for the delivery guy, still hollering at Yoongi and then his sentence jerked a brake in the middle. 

"Hey!" Seokjin's voice was getting lost somewhere unknown.

Taehyung smiled and– "how much is it?" Yoongi walked into the scene, scratching the bottoms of his wallet, unanswered he looked up and Seokjin was waiting for all the questions. Taehyung wasn't on the guest list.

"Hey, champ!" 

Seokjin glared at him for speaking like a soccer dad. 

"What? I wasn't expecting him and of course you didn't tell me and oh how magnificently he had snatched the trophy out of you." Yoongi teased, because he could. Only he was able to have the sweet audacity of making fun of Kim Seokjin. Their equation was commensalistic like marine inhabitants. 

Seokjin smiled at the memory, he was anything but bitter about it and Yoongi patted the younger's shoulder to welcome him inside. Seokjin shut the door and his head dropped against it, his heart raced up. 

He turned around and saw his friends, somewhat friends and Taehyung moving around the house like in the movie sequences as he stood there like the only still prop and outside the camera frame. He walked up and hung an arm across Yoongi's shoulders and tried to be a part of whatever conversation that small cluster was having. 

"I'll get it. Want something too, Yoongle Jingle?" Seokjin offered and Yoongi slapped his arm at the nickname. 

The music that was blaring through the speakers hushed out behind him and Seokjin headed his way to the kitchen. He trashed his can and picked up two others for the guys outside.

"Y'all know each other?" Seokjin stopped behind the fridge when he spotted Taehyung chatting away with Jimin. 

"How have you talked about him to us so much and not the other way round, Taehyungie?" 

Seokjin's ears were stunned.

"He what?"

"Jimin!"

Jimin laughed, holding his stomach progressively. 

"Even I want to know the joke?" Suddenly Jungkook butt into their small circle in the kitchen doorway. 

"Oh Jungkookie! Come with me, I'll tell you." And Jimin pushed through in between the other two, leaving the blushing duo still on the spot. 

"Sooo.." Taehyung started and Seokjin began laughing too. 

Taehyung was smiling when he sobered up, notwithstanding how Seokjin's own ears were a shade of ripened tomatoes, and he placed the stuff in his hand down on the table.

"Can I hug you?" He asked.

Taehyung nodded and Seokjin pulled by the wrists right in, he engulfed his whole figure and dipped his face into Taehyung's crook. As bits of the warmth seeped across physical barriers, Seokjin craved even more. 

"I have been waiting for tonight", was how he expressed it. 

"You were?" Taehyung showed no signs of untangling. 

"Am I the only one?" His heart was beating in his throat. 

Taehyung sidled up closer to him and nuzzled his face in, Seokjin was this close to sweeping him off the floor. 

"Impossible." Taehyung whispered and finally Seokjin's heart descended down to his chest. 

Taehyung smelled of caramel and orange candles on a lonely night. 

"Is the kitchen corner the only place we deserve?" 

"No", Seokjin chuckled and pulled away. 

"There's a foosball table there, I think Jungkook was talking about bringing out his PS5 which he leaves back in here and then-" 

"Where're you going to be?" 

Seokjin paused, and then he said, "praying that they leave early."

"Why? Don't like parties?"

"People." Seokjin chuckled. "You don't count… and please, suit yourself. Help yourself to anything." 

"I will, thank you."

When Seokjin walked away with the snacks, Taehyung's heart did a loop-da-loop in his chest. 

Somebody, somewhere, turned up the music and even though his friends were talking and him being very much a part of it, Seokjin found himself in the alleys of his mind. Lost actually. How Taehyung wore multiple shades of fluffy pink, even though brown was his colour. How Taehyung had gleamed when he opened the door for him and how Seokjin realised, in that moment, that he was very much gone. How he learned about Taehyung talking about him to his friends and his heart fluttered like a newborn butterfly and after that Taehyung had laughed and Seokjin drank him in. How if Taehyung would allow, maybe just maybe, he'd ask for a step ahead. 

"Hyung"

Seokjin cracked out of his daze. When he looked around, he saw Taehyung stand too close to him, breath fanning over his neck and the garden lighting glowing up his features. 

"Did Jungkook bore you out?" 

"Never, he's a sweetheart"

"But?"

"But…. Can I talk to you alone?" 

Taehyung's ears were turning pink and Seokjin wasted no time in putting down the donut in his hand and tugged the younger one by the wrist. If Yoongi caught them skitting off to his bedroom, he only smirked to himself. 

Seokjin shut the door behind him. 

"What's u-" 

Before he could finish the sentence, Taehyung was already caressing a small black box between his palms. Seokjin waited patiently, his heart beating in curiosity more than anticipation. 

"Th- this is for you." 

"What's this, Tae?" 

The nickname slipped out but he ignored it for the moment. 

Taehyung opened the box and unhooked a sleek silver chain, he held it at the tip of his index and the small pendant dangled like a pendulum down under. Seokjin's breath rolled back in – Taehyung brought him a gift? 

"Tae?" 

Taehyung stepped up close, not even a palm's distance between them, a nerve in Seokjin's crotch twitched. 

"It's painite. Rarest gem on the earth… for the rarest person ever."

Seokjin slipped his fingers below the other's and the studded pendant with the dark blue stone floated over his palm creases, "Are you flirting with me, Kim Taehyung?" 

He looked up. And Taehyung blushed. 

"No- never, if you don't allow it. But I really wanted to bring you something meaningful, especially when you invited me today." 

Seokjin listened patiently, a familiar wave of emotions like that night hitching over him and he closed that distance too. Kicking himself in the gut, he braved up and brought his other hand to Taehyung's neck. Instinctively Taehyung closed his eyes.

"Open your eyes, Taehyung." 

Of course he did, but Seokjin didn't move. 

"Look at me, your eyes need to always stay open, unless-" 

Taehyung nodded. Seokjin's heart bloomed at his intelligence. 

"Will you tell me what this one means?" 

Taehyung nodded again and visibly forced himself to look up at Seokjin. The older one encouraged him with mere eye contact. 

"It's said to relieve pain, physically, mentally, anything." 

Seokjin's ears buzzed with the sense of warmth. How thoughtful could someone be? But there was the catch, not just anyone. In fact none is, unless they're Taehyung. He direly hoped there's only one and single Kim Taehyung in this world; maybe Seokjin was selfish like that. 

"And what about heart aches?" 

A small smile started widening over Taehyung's mouth. Seokjin, the idiot he is, bent down at that instant. He didn't leave a second for any hesitation, leaned over at Taehyung's chest and kissed over his fuzzy sweater where his heart lay inside. 

Taehyung's breath braked to a hault and Seokjin looked at the stunned boy, he smiled. 

"That one's for your rat-racing little heart."

"How did you know?"

Seokjin didn't say anything, instead, he wrapped both his arms around Taehyung and pulled him into his chest. Their warmths collided, colluded and burst into one. 

"This is your chance to put that one around my neck." 

Seokjin was always of the observant kind, hence, he noticed how Taehyung slightly shivered but didn't refrain. His arms came around Seokjin's back and as each moment throbbed over the clock, Seokjin felt the skimming brush of his fingers where the shirt dipped in a U-collar. Seokjin drew his lips inward and Taehyung pulled a string to check if it had locked well, and Seokjin knew exactly how the air shifted. 

It wasn't time yet, but it felt good. Not only because Taehyung had gifted him something, that too with some meaning, but roles had made a sweet reversal in the aged book of dynamics. Trudgy grounds, and Seokjin sucked in a breath. Taehyung pulled away and Seokjin only let him part until his body got refrained by the lock of Seokjin's arms. He smiled at him. Taehyung smiled back, looking away. 

"Thank you, sweetness." 

Taehyung closed his eyes and if he felt it right, Seokjin held in his hands what was basically jelly. Bones and muscles and mass but all of that desperately trying to let loose. Seokjin opened the clasp and Taehyung stumbled a step backward. 

"Won't they be looking for you?" 

Honestly, Seokjin was trying to be polite.

"I came here for you, hyung." 

"Can I keep you to myself only?" 

Taehyung nodded. Zero hesitation and eyes sharp. 

Seokjin cracked his knuckles suddenly. His eyes flickered in confusion but he found his road back out of those dark tunnels of his mind, his favourite kind. 

"Don't say things you don't understand, Taehyung." 

With a little time, take a look and find what you're searching for 

Seokjin opened the door and Taehyung led him out of the room. Yoongi was on a call at that very moment and he looked at Seokjin and smiled with honey dripping down his chin. 

Back in the living room, it was different this time – Seokjin couldn't stop looking at Taehyung. Rather, he couldn't stop looking for him. Eyes sloping up, Seokjin had his mind completely distracted. The night rolled on, a few of his friends got drunk on the punch, some others dragged them home but Seokjin was stuck at the same place. Taehyung had always been beautiful, and not known to most, he had always caught Seokjin's attention too – but this was not it. This was some luring, some seeking and some kind of spiced wizardry of attraction. 

The crowd simmered down, that last batch of close friends remained who had the liberty of putting up their bare feet over the coffee table. After hours Seokjin found himself in the couch corner. 

Jiseok said he's going to crash in the spare room for the night and Seokjin nodded pretty obviously. The youngest three were out of sight and Seokjin's heels itched to make a dash for the sparkly eyed boy, everytime he could hear them from the kitchen, but he kept his feet planted for the sake of formality. Chaewon and Jwanji were still competing at Mario Kart and Seokjin occasionally laughed when one kicked the other to take over on screen and Seokjin's attention got drawn to them. 

Unknowingly he started playing with the small touch of metal under his throat and with a new bottle of beer in hand, Seokjin was busy hearing Yoongi talk about the new designs he's been drawing for a studio apartment for somewhere in the uptown areas of the city. 

"Is there something I should know?" Yoongi suddenly asked, changing his tone midway of explaining the false ceiling design.

"Huh?"

"You weren't wearing that locket before the party, hyung." 

His hand stopped fiddling and a small guilty smirk danced at the edge of his lips. 

"It's nothing." 

"I'm not going to pester you and we both know you're dying to talk about it." 

"Yoong-" 

Seokjin stopped talking, rather functioning, when a huge weight dropped on his lap. He looked over and Taehyung, the whole of his dear baby, was sitting on his lap, literally out of nowhere. 

Yoongi gasped so loud that the others had to pause their game. Seokjin's self satisfying thoughts came to a halt as he brought his one arm around Taehyung to hold him from falling. He looked wobbly, so the other hand came over his shoulder and Seokjin shook him a little. 

"Tae?" 

"Mmh?" Taehyung wrapped both arms around Seokjin's neck, undoubtedly they looked extremely loving right now. 

"What's wrong?" 

"Nothing, hyung. I… I just wanted to say-" his face slotted in between Seokjin's crook. The elder's chin easily slipped over Taehyung's shoulder as he continued his whisper. "– that I meant what I had said." 

The room was electrifyingly silent. 

"Jin-" 

Seokjin shushed whoever was about to speak with the tilt of his index finger. His breathing was growing rickety and broken. How could Taehyung do this to him?

"Tae, we'll talk later, okay?" 

"No, hyung. Listen to me." Taehyung punched a fist in his back and almost slurred his words. Taehyung felt heavier on his lap – to begin with, Seokjin couldn't believe Taehyung was on his lap and then, slurring affirmations that he definitely didn't mean. 

"I want you to-"

"Jungkook, why's he behaving like this?"

"He may have had the cupcakes." 

"Fuck. How many?" 

"Three I think." 

Seokjin snapped his focus back on the younger one, and caressing his jaws, whispered to Taehyung. 

"Wake up, Tae? Taehyung, look at me." 

"Hyung-" he shifted and almost straddled his hips, Seokjin bit his lip to suppress all the blood rushing to his cock. 

"Baby!" 

Taehyung flickered his eyes open, and pulled back to look at him for a second. 

Seokjin was, very perfectly, about to lose his mind. 

"We- um.. let's get you to sleep, yeah?" 

"Jin hyung-" 

"Tomorrow. Anything you want to say, not now." 

Seokjin pushed both his arms under Taehyung and he bundled up across his chest, he kept getting more and more cozy and as much as Seokjin loved the feeling, the nearness, he was still surprised at all of it. 

"Should I kick Jiseok out of the room?" Jungkook asked, a little panicked. 

Yoongi snorted behind them. 

"No, we're good." 

He didn't know how, but that cub ran right back into Seokjin's arms. 

Taehyung still mumbled, still very high on those ingested ounces of booze and very warm and comforting. Seokjin carried him to his bedroom and felt their hearts beat against each other, a shiver ran down his arms. He moved the covers and lowered Taehyung as gently as he could – the mattress dipped, Taehyung grew more and more silent, his hands wrapped around the pillow and his legs crouched upward. Seokjin sat down on the ground beside the bed. 

The rim of the blanket came up under Taehyung's chin and his head rested on a bent palm of his – Seokjin smiled. He brought a hand upto Taehyung's head and brushed his hair. Whatever was happening was unreal, absurd and pure madness. Seokjin had never ever felt that way. 

Bravery was as rare a disease as cowardice was infectious but at that point Seokjin wanted to be brave. Not daring, but caring brave. If Taehyung would want the moon, he'd be calling up NASA as we spoke. So what was a little bit of his heart and mind and body and soul, too?

He turned off the bedside lamp and closed the door behind him without locking it. 

"Pack up. Now!" 

Seokjin, uncharacteristically, barked at the room full of anticipating youths. He needed some time to think, maybe shed a tear even.